When you own a cat, its hairs get everywhere. - Every time I eat, I find a cat hair in my food. Let me show you. - I know it's here something. - - - I CAN'T EAT 'TIL I FIND THAT HAIR! - Silly me. I forgot to put it in there.
I'll bet you can't wait to see what kind of cat food you're having for dinner. I'll bet I can. - Here it comes... You can cut the tension with a knife. - LIVER! Oh, hooray, hop about, clap paws, squeal with glee.
Spring is here. - The warm spring sun is coaxing trees to bud and flowers to bloom. Fledging songbirds are testing their lilting voices. Soft spring zephyrs are wafting the sweet scent of lilacs. Spring is here. - Big, fat hairy deal.
I know you've been in a nasty mood this week, Garfield. Many of us occasionally feel angry for no reason at all...psychologists all it a free-floating anxiety. - SPLAT! FREE-FLOAT THIS! - I wonder if this ever happened to Freud.
Boy, I', starved. I think I'll have sausage. hash browns and some eggs over easy. - Good morning, Garfield. Here's tuna and liver surprise! - The sausage and hash browns are delicious. But I do believe the eggs are a bit overdone.
Tell me what you think of my new poem, Garfield. - "MY BUDDY" I have a buddy. My buddy's a toad. He's kind of muddy, he's flat on the road. But, he is my buddy, my buddy to stay, 'til he's peeled up and sailed away. - Garfield?
Hello, Julie? How about a movie tonight? Oh, I see. Okay, goodbye. - Darn, she said she was just walking out the door to visit her brother in Tokyo. - That's what I call bad timing. - That's called getting shot out of the saddle, you turkey.
calcium pantothenate. - Niacin, iron sulfate, magnesium sulfate, manganese sulfate, manganous oxide, zinc oxide, copper oxide, cobalt carbonate. - YOU WON'T GET RID OF ME THAT EASILY! - NOW what did I do?
Did I ever tell you about my uncle Harry? He was a famous mouser at a glass plant in Gas City, Indiana. - Legend has it that uncle Harry chased a mouse fight into tank #2 - Now he's a paperweight in Bayonne, New Jersey.
Hello, Carolyn? Hey, now about taking in a movie tonight? Uh...oh sure, I understand. - She said she would love to have gone out with me tonight. click - But she had to stay home and pluck her eyebrows. Subtle.
Come on, Garfield. Let's go camping. Not in your life. - Gee, and I'd packed lots of lasagna, too. - Since you put it that way, I reckon there's a trail or two out there that could stand a little blazing.
Well, Mr. Arbuckle, your cat's basically in good health. - But you'll have to take better care of him. Listen to the doctor, Jon. - He's too fat. Close your ears, boy! The woman's some kind of a quack!
Tell me, Liz, haven't we met somewhere before? A rice paddy in Hong Kong? - Look, jerk. I'll be the vet for your cat, but I won't play fall guy for your stupid lines. Understood? Uh-huh. - So long, doctor. Have a nice day.
FOOD! - That's this? - I appears to be of the crescent roll family. - A true gourmet never shies away from a new taste treat. - (smack) A bit dry, but palatable. - Garfield, have you seen my sweat socks?
We'll make an appointment for Garfield's next checkup in about six months. - What if there's an emergency? Then you can call me day or night. - Come on, Garfield. Let's go home and play in traffic. That's not funny.
GARFIELD'S HISTORY OF CATS: The first cat was domesticated about a million years ago. The cat (named "Org") was owned by a cave man named "Chuck" - While rumor has it that Org ate his owner... - Historians maintain the family dog ate Chuck.
Say, you look like you want to go jogging this morning, Garfield. You are wrong, sweat sock breath. - Jogging is fine for some people, I suppose... - But I've never been that crazy about the dry heaves.
We're going to see your veterinarian today, Garfield. - She's one cute chicky-boo. I'd marry her in a second. - It's comforting to know the high values placed on the sacred institution of marriage are still with us today. In a half-second!
I suppose you want to know how my date went with Liz, the vet...well, don't ask. I won't. - She didn't show. Old Jon just stood up. I don't want to hear about it. - You know, Garfield. I like you better than people. Tell me more.
What a bummer. Here I am wrapped up in a window blind. - Just bump in the road of destiny, just a hump on the camel of fate, just a lump in the throat of misfortune. - Hey! You DO have to suffer to write!
Whatever your beliefs, the Christmas season represents peace, love and charity among people everywhere. - Merry Christmas and season's greetings. - Sometimes I'm so sentimental I could just kiss myself.