If you take one bite of my pie, Garfield, I'll smack your fat little paws. If I can't have it, neither can he.
1 February 1979
I'll bet you can't wait to see what kind of cat food you're having for dinner. I'll bet I can. Here it comes... You can cut the tension with a knife. LIVER! Oh, hooray, hop about, clap paws, squeal with glee.
2 February 1979
Now I wouldn't say you're fat, Garfield... But when you sit around the sofa, you SIT AROUND the sofa. KICK! Heads, he lives. Tails, he dies.
3 February 1979
* Let's see...iodine, band-aids, gauze, bullwhip, small straight-jacket, helmet, pan, shampoo, gloves, rinse, conditioner, blow dryer, brass knuckles, towel, rope, elbow pads... Garfield's bath day? Garfield's bath day.
4 February 1979
I think I'll do some jogging. Okay...GO, FEET! Hmmm, reckon the little suckers just weren't in the mood.
5 February 1979
Garfield, I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't read over my shoulder READ over my shoulder?
6 February 1979
Stay away from my chicken leg, Garfield. Aw, stuff it in your ear. mrow fft! WHAT WAS THAT?! Oh.
7 February 1979
Gee...I wonder which shirt goes better with my slacks. Lyman, could you give me your opinion on something? Sure. What can I do for you? Forget it. Beau Brummell lives.
8 February 1979
He's trying to tell me to turn the heat up.
9 February 1979
Guess what, Garfield? Somewhere on me is a kittie munchie for you. Maybe that wasn't such a good idea. munch munch munch
10 February 1979
NAB! I'm going to give you a bath, Garfield. You and what army? Okay...I give up. You can go. SPLOOSH -
11 February 1979
I hate cold floors in the morning. Nobody likes cold floors. But we cats have to put twice as many feet on them.
12 February 1979
Pets are great to have on cold nights. As long as you don't mind... The crowded conditions.
13 February 1979
BARK! YIP! ROWR! FFFT! GARFIELD! ODIE! Why don't you boys go outside to fight. While I lie here and quietly bleed to death.
14 February 1979
* * * GARFIELD! Get off the piano! Talk about stifling one's creative talents.
15 February 1979
There's one nice thing about being a cat at the dinner table. Everything you touch is yours.
16 February 1979
What's a six-letter word for "pain," Garfield? ARRRGH!!! Is that with three or four r's?
17 February 1979
scrub scrub scrub scrub CLICK! GARFIELD! STOP! It's below freezing out there.
18 February 1979
You say you want me to eat this hamburger, Pooky? And this chicken? And this lasagna? You gotta go a long way to find a teddy bear as good as old Pooky here.
19 February 1979
SMACK! HEY YOU! Come back here and fight like a teddy bear! What am I saying?
20 February 1979
Be honest, Pooky. Do you think I'm getting a little pudgy around the middle? Not a lot of personality, but he certainly knows when to keep his mouth shut.
21 February 1979
A dancing bear? Next time, I get to lead.
22 February 1979
Let's go for a walk, little fella. SMACK! Well, I'll be. Pooky doesn't like dogs either.
23 February 1979
Okay, who knocked my fern off the windowsill?! His lying to me isn't half so upsetting as the credit he's giving my intelligence.
24 February 1979
kaboing kaboing kaboing purrr Garfield bat bat ROWR! FFFT! scratch! scratch! scratch! That should hold you cat fans for a while.
25 February 1979
Stand aside, cat. I know karate! And I know fast and furious.
26 February 1979
Some days I'm just not in the mood to be adored.
27 February 1979
Woould puppy tat wike a bowl of milk? Would funny wooking man wike a milk bath? Never be condescending to a cat.
28 February 1979