Garfield, you've been in bed all week. Why, you could starve to death. Oh. I should have guessed as much.
1 June 1979
Get out of bed this minute, Garfield. Good boy! Darn leg cramps.
2 June 1979
PTOOEY! PTOOEY! PTOOEY! Okay, Garfield. Now give me some high lobs.
3 June 1979
Have a package of crackers, Garfield. RUSTLE CRACKLE CRINKLE They were terrible. Next time try taking them out of the wrapper.
4 June 1979
Why the droopy demeanor today, Garfield? KONK! Never say "droop" to a fat person.
5 June 1979
Hey, Lyman. What do you think of my new tennis racket? What's it strung with? Catgut. Aunt Reba!
6 June 1979
That's the trouble with warm weather. You can't keep ice cubes in your drink. -
7 June 1979
Touch my pie and you die. touch ZOOM!!! ALWAYS RIDING THE RAGGED EDGE OF DISASTER, AREN'T YOU, GARFIELD?!
8 June 1979
Waitress, this potato is bad. BAD POTATO! BAD POTATO! smack! smack! smack! Sir, if that potato gives you any more trouble, you just let me know. There goes her tip.
9 June 1979
10 June 1979
Come on, Garfield. Let's go camping. Not in your life. Gee, and I'd packed lots of lasagna, too. Since you put it that way, I reckon there's a trail or two out there that could stand a little blazing.
11 June 1979
Well, here we are in the great outdoors, Garfield. Ah, wilderness. Just us, the sky, and the trees. Where's the TV?
12 June 1979
Well, Garfield. What do you think of camping so far? I don't know. I've never been this far from the sandbox before.
13 June 1979
Why the long face, Garfield? Look who I brought. POOKY! Camping is more fun with a good friend.
14 June 1979
What's that? Must be a porcupine.
15 June 1979
GARFIELD! You're covered with porcupine quills! That must be very painful. I can handle it. ARRRRRGH!
16 June 1979
screw screw screw Look, Garfield! I made a kitty door for you. swing SMACK! SMASH! A clear-cut case of self-defense if I ever saw one.
17 June 1979
What would you like for your new birthday, Garfield? Another scratching post. How about a nice rubber mousie? Or maybe another scratching post. How'd you guess?
18 June 1979
Happy first birthday, Garfield! Make a wish and blow out the candle. FOOF! Oh gee. That's too bad. Not really. I got my wish.
19 June 1979
Have a sausage. One at a time, Garfield, one at a time.
20 June 1979
Here's to gluttony! GULP! Hello? Overeaters anonymous?
21 June 1979
Hello, Valette? Hey, how about meeting me somewhere tonight, sweets? You'll mee me when WHAT freezes over? I can take a hint! Only if it's applied with a sledgehammer.
22 June 1979
Do you know why I don't chase birds? Well, I'll tell you. My uncle Hubert once caught a 30-pound canary in Chicago. They last spotted him over Dallas, Texas.
23 June 1979
How about a snack, Garfield? Here's some liver left from dinner. Blech! It's good. Really. Watch me. M-m-m-m nummy nummy nummy Oh, very well. A MOUSE! GET IT! GARFIELD, WHY CAN'T YOU CHASE MICE LIKE OTHER CATS? If Jon eats onefirst, I'll consider it.
24 June 1979
I'm going to take you to the vet for a checkup, Garfield. OH-NO! My uncle Barney went to the vet once. He came back as my aunt Bernice.
25 June 1979
The doctor will see your cat in a moment. Who's next, please? I think I just died and went to heaven. I think I just died. I think I just died.
26 June 1979
By the way there, doc, what's your name? Liz. Gee, what a pretty name. Is that short for Elizabeth? No. It's short for Lizard. Liz must not be much for small talk.
27 June 1979
I guess we'll be seeing a lot of each other, doc. Garfield gets sick a lot. Don't you, Garfield? Don't you, Garfield? kachew kachew
28 June 1979
Well, Mr. Arbuckle, your cat's basically in good health. But you'll have to take better care of him. Listen to the doctor, Jon. He's too fat. Close your ears, boy! The woman's some kind of a quack!
29 June 1979
Tell me, Liz, haven't we met somewhere before? A rice paddy in Hong Kong? Look, jerk. I'll be the vet for your cat, but I won't play fall guy for your stupid lines. Understood? Uh-huh. So long, doctor. Have a nice day.
30 June 1979