What would you like for breakfast, Garfield? Something different! The usual, you say? NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! One usual coming up! It's things like this that contribute to the high suicide rate among cats.
Let's tighten that leash, Garfield. I hate leashes. FFT! ROWR! Don't worry, Garfield. Some kind passer-by will untie us. Uh, sir? Pardon me ma'am...hey you there... uh... SLAM Hi, Jon. Hi, Lyman. What took you so long? I had todrag myself home with my lip
Morning, Liz. Jon here. I'm bringing Garfield in for a checkup today. I know you've been wanting to get to know me better, so why don't you make it a late appointment and we'll go to dinner afterward. Jon...Jon Arbuckle.
Hi, what have you got there? This is Monarch, a registered ruddy abyssinian. He's in the grand champion division with 1400 CFA points...what's that? This is Garfield. He's...uh sort of yellowish orange and he's got stripes. I've neverbeen so embarrassed.
I've solved the case, captain. The murderer is... We interrupt this program to tell you there's a thunderstorm coming into the area. How dare they break into my favorite TV show for a weather report! I'm calling the station to givethem a piece of my mind!
Television should be more informative. Television should be more intellectually stimulating. I'm going to start a movement for more socially aware TV programming! Just as soon as I'm finished watching "The Beach Creature Annoys SandraDee".
What do you have planned for us tonight? First we'll jet to a Hollywood premiere and reception with the stars. Then have an intimate dinner at a posh restaurant followed by an evening of dancing at a private club topped off with bubbly onthe beach at sunr
I'm getting tired of your string-arm tactics around here, Garfield. Remember: blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. But, in the meantime, the strong will make a pretty comfortable living.
poke poke poke poke poke poke poke I'm hungry. Garfield, you know how I hate it when you poke me. poke poke poke poke poke poke poke Then feed me. How would you like it if I poked you?! POKE! POKE! POKE! POKE! POKE! POKE! POKE!It's things like that, that
Snicker snicker What are you snickering about, Lyman? I've solved our mouse problem. How so? I've set out mousetraps baited with lasagna. Oh no! NOT LASAGNA?! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! -
Did you ever own a cat, Lyman? I grew up with four of 'em. What were their names? Let's see... There was "cat", "cat", "cat" and "cat". No names? What's the use of naming a pet that won't come if you call it? Good
Do you feel personally responsible for the world food shortage? Every time you go to the beach, does the tide come in? Have you ever eaten an entire moose? Can you see your neck? Do joggers take laps around you for exercise? If so,welcome the NATIONAL FAT
We fat people are constantly being discriminated against. Airplane and theater seats are too small. Designer clothing is not made in our size. But that's trivial. What this world really needs is a king-size sandbox.
arf arf rrrrr Let's see. I think I'm supposed to raise the fur on my back, recoil in horror and flee i terror. Or is it: recoil in horror, raise the fur on my back and flee in terror... Or is it: flee in terror, recoil in horror andraise the fur on my bac
Hmmm, Jon's golf cap. No one drives faster than the great Enzio Bodoni! Alms for a tap dancing cat. tappity tappity Check that oil, mister? quack quack quack Sometimes I worry about, Garfield. Ha ha ha ha
scratch scratch scratch Garfield, what would you say if I said my chair is damaged? I'd say you're right. What would you say if I said the damage looks like it was done by a cat? I'd say there do appear to be some abrasions of the clawpersuasion. What wou
Hmmm, it feels sleepy out there today. You're looking a little listless, Garfield. I prefer to think of this as an advanced state of relaxation. I'm taking you to the vet. Thea have a cure for lazy? His get up and go got up and went,doc. It's nothing a li
Tell me about my youth, grandpa. You were born in the kitchen of Mamma Leoni's Italian restaurant. You frolicked in the fettucine, rolled in the ravioli and ate all the lasagna in sight. I must have broken some eating records. Not tomention a few health c
There's one cute chicky-boo! She could sharpen her claws on my hassock any time. I wonder if she'd like to go back to the big caterwauling on Elm Street tonight. Well, hello there, Garfield. Oh, hi, Frank.
Granted, declawing a cat may spare the furniture. But it also renders a cat defenseless. Put yourself in my shoes...how would you like to go through life... Knowing somewhere out there is a dog with your name on it.
OH BOY! CHICKEN! I LOVE CHICKEN! Hold it, Garfield. I don't know how to break this to you. I know it's going to break your heart... But, I'm never letting you have chicken again. You might choke on the bones. OH BOY! HAMBURGERS! ILOVE HAMBURGERS! What? No
I think it's time you met a lady cat, Garfield. And if you're not sure what to do on a date just watch me in action sometime. I have. Make an inuendo, get slapped. Make a suggestion, get slapped. Make a move, get slapped.
No sweat, sarge. I'll take that machine gun nest out with my trusty bazooka here. So this is what it feels like to be potato salad. Rhett, rhett. Whatever shall I do? Wherever shall I go? Take me to your leader, earthling, or I'llatomize your face. That