What would you like for breakfast, Garfield? Something different! The usual, you say? NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! One usual coming up! It's things like this that contribute to the high suicide rate among cats.
Morning, Liz. Jon here. I'm bringing Garfield in for a checkup today. I know you've been wanting to get to know me better, so why don't you make it a late appointment and we'll go to dinner afterward. Jon...Jon Arbuckle.
Hi, what have you got there? This is Monarch, a registered ruddy abyssinian. He's in the grand champion division with 1400 CFA points...what's that? This is Garfield. He's...uh sort of yellowish orange and he's got stripes. I've neverbeen so embarrassed.
Television should be more informative. Television should be more intellectually stimulating. I'm going to start a movement for more socially aware TV programming! Just as soon as I'm finished watching "The Beach Creature Annoys SandraDee".
I'm getting tired of your string-arm tactics around here, Garfield. Remember: blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. But, in the meantime, the strong will make a pretty comfortable living.
Snicker snicker What are you snickering about, Lyman? I've solved our mouse problem. How so? I've set out mousetraps baited with lasagna. Oh no! NOT LASAGNA?! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! -
We fat people are constantly being discriminated against. Airplane and theater seats are too small. Designer clothing is not made in our size. But that's trivial. What this world really needs is a king-size sandbox.
Hmmm, Jon's golf cap. No one drives faster than the great Enzio Bodoni! Alms for a tap dancing cat. tappity tappity Check that oil, mister? quack quack quack Sometimes I worry about, Garfield. Ha ha ha ha
There's one cute chicky-boo! She could sharpen her claws on my hassock any time. I wonder if she'd like to go back to the big caterwauling on Elm Street tonight. Well, hello there, Garfield. Oh, hi, Frank.
Granted, declawing a cat may spare the furniture. But it also renders a cat defenseless. Put yourself in my shoes...how would you like to go through life... Knowing somewhere out there is a dog with your name on it.
I think it's time you met a lady cat, Garfield. And if you're not sure what to do on a date just watch me in action sometime. I have. Make an inuendo, get slapped. Make a suggestion, get slapped. Make a move, get slapped.