- DON'T GO OUTSIDE! - I just mowed the lawn!
1 May 1980
Eat up, Pal. - I won't say Garfield is fat, but the last time he got on a ferris wheel, the two guys on top starved to death. - SPLAT!
2 May 1980
- - I must speak to Jon about changing the water in my bowl.
3 May 1980
- - What's happening? - I have no urge to shove Odie off the table! - I'm losing my touch! - I must be having an attack of nice! - PUSH - With self-control you can conquer anything.
4 May 1980
Guess who's come to visit? Nermal, the world's cutest kitten. - You're so cute it's disgusting! That's true. - But it's a cross I'll just have to bear.
5 May 1980
How come I've known you a year, Nermal, and you're still a tiny kitten? - I think small. - And the coffee and cigarettes don't hurt.
6 May 1980
Hee, hee, hee. - Here, Nermal. Have a steak. - You really trade on cute, don't you? I manage.
7 May 1980
You're too cute, Nermal. - CUTE IS TASTELESS! CUTE ROTS THE INTELLECT! So what's so hot about ugly? - Good point.
8 May 1980
- Psst, hey, fella. Wanna buy a kitten? - What the? Black market kittens. I'll make a killing.
9 May 1980
Hey, Nermal, do you think you could teach me to be cute, too? - Sure. First, open your eyes just as wide as you can. - Now lose about 20 pounds. Very funny.
10 May 1980
YAWN! - YAWN - YAWN - - - - YAWN!
11 May 1980
12 May 1980
Now where could my rubber mousie be? - EIYEEEEE! SPLASH! - That's right. I left it in the bathtub.
13 May 1980
I LOVE LASAGNA! - I love to smear it on my body. - Which insures I don't have to share it with anyone.
14 May 1980
- - I bet you didn't know cats can shed at will.
15 May 1980
Garfield! Why would you ever want to catch that fish? - Some people LOVE cats for what they are... - And some people ARE cats for what they LOVE.
16 May 1980
- - What's the matter, Jon? Cat got your tongue? You might thay that.
17 May 1980
MERORRR - POOF! - EROWRR - CHUKONG! - ROWERROWER - CLOBBER! - -
18 May 1980
* * * * * * * * - - *
19 May 1980
** *** - MY PIANO'S POSSESSED! THERE'S AN EVIL SPIRIT IN MY PIANO! - You take that back!
20 May 1980
Good day, sports freaks. Welcome to your first tennis lesson. - First, hold your tennis racquet just like this... - Now drain your spaghetti with it.
21 May 1980
gasp struggle wheeze - Lasagna! I need lasagna! - Let's talk about this pasta dependency of yours, Garfield. First, a noodle, then we talk.
22 May 1980
I'll just take the last helping of lasagna, Garfield. - And you may do whatever you wish with the pan, ha-ha. - WHANG! SPLAT!
23 May 1980
I'm getting tired of your string-arm tactics around here, Garfield. - Remember: blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. - But, in the meantime, the strong will make a pretty comfortable living.
24 May 1980
GRAB! - STRETCH - PTING! - - KABOING! - zoom! - FLAP FLAP FLAP - That's the darndest thing I've ever seen.
25 May 1980
- - The bathroom is secured, sir.
26 May 1980
- BACK!...BACK, YOU SAVAGE! - Savage...I like that.
27 May 1980
- SPLOOT! - What's that? Lemon meringue Odie.
28 May 1980
HERE, ODIE! - - I'm going to train you to sit up today. It's hard to teach a dead dog new tricks.
29 May 1980
Some people say I'm mean to Odie. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE dogs. And if I'm lying, may lightning... - - Strike the dog next door. kerow! yip!
30 May 1980
To properly enjoy tennis you must have the correct stance. - - You'll have to imagine the easy chair, TV, and six-pack.
31 May 1980