DON'T GO OUTSIDE! I just mowed the lawn!
1 May 1980
Eat up, Pal. I won't say Garfield is fat, but the last time he got on a ferris wheel, the two guys on top starved to death. SPLAT!
2 May 1980
I must speak to Jon about changing the water in my bowl.
3 May 1980
What's happening? I have no urge to shove Odie off the table! I'm losing my touch! I must be having an attack of nice! PUSH With self-control you can conquer anything.
4 May 1980
Guess who's come to visit? Nermal, the world's cutest kitten. You're so cute it's disgusting! That's true. But it's a cross I'll just have to bear.
5 May 1980
How come I've known you a year, Nermal, and you're still a tiny kitten? I think small. And the coffee and cigarettes don't hurt.
6 May 1980
Hee, hee, hee. Here, Nermal. Have a steak. You really trade on cute, don't you? I manage.
7 May 1980
You're too cute, Nermal. CUTE IS TASTELESS! CUTE ROTS THE INTELLECT! So what's so hot about ugly? Good point.
8 May 1980
Psst, hey, fella. Wanna buy a kitten? What the? Black market kittens. I'll make a killing.
9 May 1980
Hey, Nermal, do you think you could teach me to be cute, too? Sure. First, open your eyes just as wide as you can. Now lose about 20 pounds. Very funny.
10 May 1980
YAWN! YAWN YAWN YAWN!
11 May 1980
12 May 1980
Now where could my rubber mousie be? EIYEEEEE! SPLASH! That's right. I left it in the bathtub.
13 May 1980
I LOVE LASAGNA! I love to smear it on my body. Which insures I don't have to share it with anyone.
14 May 1980
I bet you didn't know cats can shed at will.
15 May 1980
Garfield! Why would you ever want to catch that fish? Some people LOVE cats for what they are... And some people ARE cats for what they LOVE.
16 May 1980
What's the matter, Jon? Cat got your tongue? You might thay that.
17 May 1980
MERORRR POOF! EROWRR CHUKONG! ROWERROWER CLOBBER! -
18 May 1980
* * * * * * * * *
19 May 1980
** *** MY PIANO'S POSSESSED! THERE'S AN EVIL SPIRIT IN MY PIANO! You take that back!
20 May 1980
Good day, sports freaks. Welcome to your first tennis lesson. First, hold your tennis racquet just like this... Now drain your spaghetti with it.
21 May 1980
gasp struggle wheeze Lasagna! I need lasagna! Let's talk about this pasta dependency of yours, Garfield. First, a noodle, then we talk.
22 May 1980
I'll just take the last helping of lasagna, Garfield. And you may do whatever you wish with the pan, ha-ha. WHANG! SPLAT!
23 May 1980
I'm getting tired of your string-arm tactics around here, Garfield. Remember: blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. But, in the meantime, the strong will make a pretty comfortable living.
24 May 1980
GRAB! STRETCH PTING! KABOING! zoom! FLAP FLAP FLAP That's the darndest thing I've ever seen.
25 May 1980
The bathroom is secured, sir.
26 May 1980
BACK!...BACK, YOU SAVAGE! Savage...I like that.
27 May 1980
SPLOOT! What's that? Lemon meringue Odie.
28 May 1980
HERE, ODIE! I'm going to train you to sit up today. It's hard to teach a dead dog new tricks.
29 May 1980
Some people say I'm mean to Odie. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE dogs. And if I'm lying, may lightning... Strike the dog next door. kerow! yip!
30 May 1980
To properly enjoy tennis you must have the correct stance. You'll have to imagine the easy chair, TV, and six-pack.
31 May 1980