GARFIELD'S HISTORY OF DOGS The world's first dog crawled out of the sea about ten million years ago. - But, unfortunately for him... - He was immediately nabbed by the world's first dogcatcher.
1 September 1980
GARFIELD'S HISTORY OF DOGS Tail wagging was invented by a dog named "Bonzo Wag". - He found that tail wagging endeared him to humans. - Bonzo also invented slobbering, but that didn't go over so well.
2 September 1980
GARFIELD'S HISTORY OF DOGS During the stone age, dogs were used for hunting much as they are today. bark bark - GRRRR - Times were tough then. STOMP!
3 September 1980
GARFIELD'S HISTORY OF DOGS Contrary to popular belief... - The first dogs were HAPPY to meet the first cat. - For, until then, all they had to chase up trees were rocks. Arf
4 September 1980
GARFIELD'S HISTORY OF DOGS - - The first fire hydrant.
5 September 1980
Dogs' historic roles as hunters, protectors, trackers, laborers and companions have culminated to make modern dog what he is today. - - It could just make you cry.
6 September 1980
Do you feel personally responsible for the world food shortage? - Every time you go to the beach, does the tide come in? - Have you ever eaten an entire moose? - Can you see your neck? - Do joggers take laps around you for exercise? - If so,
7 September 1980
Welcome to National Fat Week. - This is the week all of you, my fat brothers and sisters, celebrate your big, round, beautiful bodies. - Remember, you're not overweight, everyone else is undernourished.
8 September 1980
This is National Fat Week. Arise, fat people! - LET US AVERT OUR NATION'S INSENSITIVITY TOWARD FAT PEOPLE! - LET US MAKE FUN OF BALD PEOPLE!
9 September 1980
Here's a National Fat Week handy fact... - 60% of the people in our nation are involved in some way with the food industry. - That's right. Eating is not only fun, it's patriotic!
10 September 1980
This year, let's celebrate National Fat Week by stamping out fat jokes. - Let's face it, fatties... - We should be able to stamp out anything we wish.
11 September 1980
We fat people are constantly being discriminated against. - Airplane and theater seats are too small. Designer clothing is not made in our size. But that's trivial. - What this world really needs is a king-size sandbox.
12 September 1980
Here's a National Fat Week diet joke: - What would you get if you cross a dieter with a nine-foot gorilla? - You get a gorilla who diets anywhere he pleases.
13 September 1980
* OH, GARFIELD * - Go fetch the paper. You gotta be kidding. - No paper, no breakfast. - That's blackmail. - Good boy! -
14 September 1980
- - Hungry, Garfield? Bingo.
15 September 1980
- Uh-oh, here comes Jon! -
16 September 1980
I fell nasty today. - PUNT! - You gotta work it out.
17 September 1980
I know it's chilly this morning, Garfield. - But you're not supposed to sit there. - So what's a bun warmer for?
18 September 1980
Would you like to go out, Garfield? - POW! - Or would you rather stay in?
19 September 1980
- You look guilty about something, Garfield. - Did you eat my pie? Your pepper steak.
20 September 1980
arf arf - rrrrr - Let's see. I think I'm supposed to raise the fur on my back, recoil in horror and flee i terror. - Or is it: recoil in horror, raise the fur on my back and flee in terror... - Or is it: flee in terror, recoil in horror and
21 September 1980
GARFIELD - Will you get out of my flower box and come to lunch? - No thanks. I just ate it.
22 September 1980
I won't say you're fat, Garfield... - But I will say you're two of the finest cats I've ever had. - Let's see...hairdressers, hearing aids, hit men.
23 September 1980
- SPLOT! - Let me guess. You're trying to tell me you don't like your meal. In my own subtle way.
24 September 1980
We cats are very unique. - Who else has our pride, style and sophistication? - Who else can kill an afternoon hanging on the screen door?
25 September 1980
- SLAM! -
26 September 1980
- gobble! gobble! gobble! - Thanks for leaving a wing, Garfield. What are friends for?
27 September 1980
- - This chair could use some softening up. - boing boing boing - scratch scratch scratch - Much better. SPROING - Just when a chair earns your respect, it turns on you.
28 September 1980
How about dinner tonight, doc? Sure. - If there's nothing good on Television. - Did you hear that, Garfield? She practically threw herself at me! Pray for reruns, hotshot.
29 September 1980
Just once I'd like to go on a date without Garfield. - - Where to, sir?
30 September 1980