What happened to my favorite record? I scratched it. - What happened to the lasagna I fixed for dinner?! I ate it. - GARFIELD; WHY IS IT YOU SCRATCH, EAT AND DESTROY EVERYTHING IN SIGHT?! I CAN'T HELP IT! I'M A SLAVE TO MY PASSIONS! - CATS!
- We're going for a nature walk, Garfield. Super. - Just smell that fresh country air. Sniff...ACHOO! - Hark. That's the call of a lesser bittern of the heron family. WAKA, WAKA Waka, smaka. - Rolling meadows, lush forests, majestic
City Pound SLAM! - How did I get into this fix? One minute I'm free as a bird, then I'm in the city pound. Where did I go wrong? - I'm just a number here. I've almost forgotten what it's like on the outside. - IT'S NOT RIGHT TO CAGE A WILD
Tell me, Guido. Why is Fluffy here in the city pound? - His previous owner encountered considerable difficulty in cultivating Fluffy with the proper hygienic habits. - Couldn't be housebroken, huh? Puddle City.
How long will I have to stay here in the pound? Till your owner comes to pick you up. - What if he doesn't come? Then it's curtains for you. - Great! I love to sharpen my claws on curtains. How do I break this to him?
Watch out, Metropolis. Garfield is in town. - This is my night to howl. - AROOO - Hey, baby, what's happenin' Buzz off, creep. - arooooo - Hi there, how about a kiss? Don't do me no favors. - How about you and me. Pack it in, jack. - aroooo.
- Poor me. - All alone in the rain...nobody notices, nobody cares. - I think I'll catch pneumonia and die. That'll make'm feel bad. - GARFIELD! GET IN HERE! - Everyone needs a good bout with self-pity now and then.
I'm putting you into training, Garfield. - CATCH THE MOUSE! KILL THE MOUSE! CHASE IT! - I'm disappointed in you. You're just another dumb animal. If I wait for the forward thrust to diminish, I should be able to retrieve it at my leisure.
Why do people expect us cats to eat mice? - This mouse could be somebody's mother. This mouse could be a deacon in its little mouse church. - And some of the fuzzy sucker's bones might get caught in my throat.
- I'm going to jog this morning. - Of course, it will be cold when I start. - But then I'll get hot and sweaty. - And my heart will pound, making me dizzy. - I'll get blisters on my feet. - Then I'll be stiff and sore for days. - Jogging
I', going out, Garfield. The women will be hysterical over me. The outfit's hysterical. - What do you think about my attire? It could use some alteration. - Let's tuck that tie in and add some vents to the sleeves. - - A smart cat knows just
Just remember, Garfield, when we get to the farm you are there to relax. - I know last time you wanted to be helpful... - But you do not grow chickens by planting chickens in the ground! It was an hones mistake.
- Aren't pet stores fascinating, Garfield? - The cute hamsters, the canaries, the tropical fish. - Garfield? - GARFIELD?!! - Oh, there you are. - Come on, let's go home for lunch. No thanks, I just ate.
dial dial - Hello, Ingrid? How about a date this weekend? - Okay...then how about next weekend? How about the weekend after that? - Maybe the weekend after that? Or the weekend after that? The next one? How about the weekend after that? -
- WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU, GARFIELD?! - You were walking down the street minding your own business... - SNIFF You stopped to smell a flower... - When a big dog slipped up behind you... - CLOBBER - And beat the stuffing out of you. You are so
I wonder if I could stand on just two feet? - Hey, this is great! I'm standing! - Now I can tap-dance. tap tap tap tappity tap tap - And I can reach the tabletop. - And drop-kick Odie. DROP KICK! - Garfield! Cats can't walk on their HIND
Well, here we are in the wilds, Garfield. Keep a sharp eye out for wild animals. - WHAT?! - WHA...?! - You're just fooling me, aren't you? - - Oh, no, you don't, Garfield. - I'll wise up to your tricks if it's the last thing I do.
- Well, well, Here comes Arlene. - Hey, baby, what's happenin'? Buzz off, creep. - How about a gourmet dinner? I'm all yours! - - You really shouldn't have. Hang the expense. Only the best garbage for you, my dear.
Hellooo, Mary. Say, good lookin', where have you been all my life? - I see...you lived on Main Street until you were two, then you moved to Rosewood where you presently reside. - Shall I ask her out, Garfield? Sounds like a match made in
Let me give you a driving session, Garfield. - When you're as good a driver as I am, you drive defensively. - You look both ways at an intersection. - Then you proceed with caution. - HONK! SCREEEE! - Darn you, Garfield. I'm such a kidder.
Do you know what this country needs? More dog pounds. - Anti-dog mines around fire hydrants! Dog hunting season! Dog traps! - Relax, Garfield. You're going to burst something. Why, millions could be saved on carpet cleaning bills alone.
Aunt Gussie, would you take care of my cat while I'm gone on vacation? ...terrific! - You know aunt Gussie, Garfield. She's a sweet old lady. - How can you say that about someone who used to double date with Lizzie Borden?
Hey, Garfield, guess what? - The dog next door is being given a birthday party today. - This brick should make a spiffy gift. - - BONK! YIP! - YIP! Happy birthday, dog. - - Hello, doctor? Do you think you could surgically remove my cat from a
Is this where my cat auditions for the cat food commercial? Yeh. - Hey, Larry. Break out the wide-angle lens. - If I don't get the part, the director is going to be sporting those shades up his right nostril.
I'll have a steak, fries and a large Cola. - And my cat here will have an order or lasagna. - WHAP! - Make that a double order. - BONK! - Perhaps a triple order. - GOOSH! - Heck with it. Give him the whole pan. And give it wings.
- - rats! - I went and did it again. - Here I am, doomed to die again. If I stay up here I'll starve. If I jump I'll become a cat pancake. I hope someone rescues me. - Stuck up th tree again, Garfield? Help! Help!
Hello, I'm a bluebird. - Garfield, you're too big to be acting this way. But I'm small for a sperm whale. - I'm thinking of getting you some professional psychiatric help. You mean there are AMATEUR psychiatrists?
dial dial dial - Hello, Joe's Garage? Can you look at my car? - I'd like to bring him in for a checkup. But I just had one. - You'd better flush out his system... - Tighten his hoses. - Replace all the worn parts. - Oh yes, and have him
Here comes Arlene. One look from those dewy eyes turns me into jelly. I'd go to the ends of the earth for her. - - Touch my teddy bear and you'll be picking those false eyelashes off the ceiling, lady.
I love those pointy little ears of yours and those luscious ruby red lips. - And I love listening to the melodic strains of the wind whistling through the gap between your front teeth. - You went one to far, fella. You're cute when you're
Look, cat, you need a reason to be kept here and I need food. I'll show up infront of your owner and you chase me off. You'll have a job and I'll have a place to live. - Won't Jon get suspicious when I keep chasing the same mouse? - I'll wear
- You know, some foods are funnier than others. - Beets are funny. - Liver...not funny. - Prunes are funny, potatoes aren't. - Chicken, now, that's funny. - How about pickles and kumquats for lunch, Garfield? - WAH HA HA!
Some people say I'm mean, but they never knew my uncle Nick. He used to eat whole chickens. - But uncle Nick wasn't very bright. One day he jumped an ostrich by mistake. - His last words were: "That's the biggest chicken I ever saw."
- Garfield will be in here any minute to wake me for breakfast. - He'll pry my eye open to see if I'm awake. - Then he will tap dance eon my head. - And then he'll sit on my chest and breathe in my face until I get up! - - OKAY! OKAY! - What
Here I am, Nermal, the world's cutest kitten! - What makes you think you're so cute? Simple, ALL kittens are cute until they grow into cats and become ugly. - I didn't have to hear that. I tell it like it is, baby cakes.
Hey, Garfield. Let's spend today celebrating all that's good in mankind. - Let's do a good deed for a stranger, stop and smell a flower and compliment a friend. - That's a heavy thing to lay on a cat first thing in the morning.
Isn't it a glorious morning, Garfield? Big, fat, hairy deal. - You know, Garfield, I have the feeling you're a cat with a little cynic in you. That's not true! - I'm a cynic with a little cat around me.