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Garfield

So this is 1981. A brand new year fresh with new promise. Big, fat, hairy deal.

1 January 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

GOBBLE! GOBBLE! GOBBLE! WHERE'S YOUR DINNER?!! WHERE'S MY DINNER?!! Once my eating gains momentum it's hard to shut down.Just what is a diet? A diet is self-denial. Fortunately, I'm such a swell fellow I haven't the heart to deny myself anything.

2 January 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, who ate my socks? GARFIELD!! The guy's some kind of a psychic!

3 January 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

What's this strange feeling I feel today? I feel like being nice to everyone today! KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS . KISS People don't want nice...people want consistency.

4 January 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

FEED ME! FEED ME! FEED ME! OKAY! OKAY! Z

5 January 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

We cats nap anywhere, anytime. Everyone should be so lucky. With the possible exception of airline pilots.

6 January 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Z When Garfield naps, he naps HARD. Z

7 January 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Here it comes again! NAP ATTACK! zzzz

8 January 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh no! I feel a nap attack coming on. But the movie's almost over. I must stay awake! Z

9 January 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Boy, what a great night's sleep. YAWN HEY, GARFIELD. LET'S GO JOGGING. Z

10 January 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

What happened to my favorite record? I scratched it. What happened to the lasagna I fixed for dinner?! I ate it. GARFIELD; WHY IS IT YOU SCRATCH, EAT AND DESTROY EVERYTHING IN SIGHT?! I CAN'T HELP IT! I'M A SLAVE TO MY PASSIONS! CATS!HUMANS! I'm sorry, Ga

11 January 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Stand aside, boy. There's lasagna to be eaten! We have an understanding, Garfield and I...I provide the food, shelter, and affection, and he provides the abuse.

12 January 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

ROWRRRR elbow EROWR Prima donna.

13 January 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I've been watching television too long. I'd better take a break. -

14 January 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

You eat too fast, Garfield. says who? BURP

15 January 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

A seeing eye dog.

16 January 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

What's with you? Someone switched my eyedrops with the airplane glue. That's terrible! No wonder my model airplane wouldn't stick together.

17 January 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

We're going for a nature walk, Garfield. Super. Just smell that fresh country air. Sniff...ACHOO! Hark. That's the call of a lesser bittern of the heron family. WAKA, WAKA Waka, smaka. Rolling meadows, lush forests, majesticmountains... Have you ever see

18 January 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

YAWN TRIP! It must be Monday.

19 January 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

SLUP That was my hot water, Garfield. I was going to make tea. I know that. Weird.

20 January 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

That's the biggest bird I've ever seen! Garfield, time to eat.

21 January 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I can see the headlines now. "Cat gets hijacked". "And duck gets hernia"

22 January 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Flying looks pretty simple. AARRRRGG

23 January 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh pooh. Oh goody. Oh pooh. City Pound

24 January 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

City Pound SLAM! How did I get into this fix? One minute I'm free as a bird, then I'm in the city pound. Where did I go wrong? I'm just a number here. I've almost forgotten what it's like on the outside. IT'S NOT RIGHT TO CAGE A WILDANIMAL! THESE FOUR WAL

25 January 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I can't believe it. Me, Garfield, in a dog pound. That's "City Pound." There are cats here too, you know. Arf arf. Oh shut up, fluffy.

26 January 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

My name's Guido, and this here is my associate, Fluffy. Guido and Fluffy? I've killed for less than that. One of your sensitive-tough types.

27 January 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Tell me, Guido. Why is Fluffy here in the city pound? His previous owner encountered considerable difficulty in cultivating Fluffy with the proper hygienic habits. Couldn't be housebroken, huh? Puddle City.

28 January 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

How long will I have to stay here in the pound? Till your owner comes to pick you up. What if he doesn't come? Then it's curtains for you. Great! I love to sharpen my claws on curtains. How do I break this to him?

29 January 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

We gotta bust out of this pound. Got any ideas? Why don't we use Fluffy as a battering ram? FLUFFY! BE A BATTERING RAM! Yah. CRASH!

30 January 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Thanks for helping me escape from the pound, Guido. No sweat. It's nice to finally be out of trouble. What a relief it is to be returning to the safety and comfort of home. Whatever that is...

31 January 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Why, hello there. I'm lost. Aren't you cute! Can you give me directions! Run along now, Kitty. What did I do?

1 February 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

So what if I'm lost. Big deal. I can handle it. Cats are adventurous. Cats are independent. Cats are strong... I WANT MY TEDDY BEAR!

2 February 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

It should be no problem finding my way home. Cats have a natural homing instinct. My instinct tells me to go that way. BONK!

3 February 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

FOOD! I GOTTA HAVE FOOD! Health Food Store FOOD! I GOTTA HAVE FOOD!

4 February 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Boy, am I beat. I must've walked two blocks today. It will be nice to get home. I miss my chew bone, my chew toy, And Odie, my chew dog.

5 February 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I guess I'll have to hitchhike home. Fortunately for me, I have something most other cats don't. Thumbs.

6 February 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD! WELCOME BACK! I'm starved. You must be starved. I'll get some food. Home is where they understand you.

7 February 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

* * * * ** ** ? ** ** * * ***!

8 February 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

MY FEET! WHERE ARE MY FEET?! Maybe I could stand to lose a pound or two.

9 February 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you won't say you're fat... But you have more chins than a Hong Kong telephone directory! -

10 February 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I wish Jon wouldn't kid me about my weight. I'm a very sensitive person. Et tu, chair?

11 February 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

My, my, a chocolate covered peanut. RIP! I think I need a bigger cat suit.

12 February 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Sorry about that.

13 February 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD! DINNER! I appreciate your promptness, Garfield... BUT, NEXT TIME, OPEN THE DOOR! Oops.

14 February 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Watch out, Metropolis. Garfield is in town. This is my night to howl. AROOO Hey, baby, what's happenin' Buzz off, creep. arooooo Hi there, how about a kiss? Don't do me no favors. How about you and me. Pack it in, jack. aroooo.

15 February 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Uh-oh. It's diet time. Let's diet together, Garfield. That would be more fun. How does the old proverb go? "Misery loves company".

16 February 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Welcome to the first day of your diet, Garfield. Through self-denial, you will realize a slimmer, more self-assured you. I THINK I'M GONNA DIE!

17 February 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I shall now attempt to eat a lunch consisting of one leaf of lettuce. Lightly seasoned with... One quart of mayonnaise! BLOP

18 February 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Dieting is easy when you set your mind to it. I no longer crave food. IT'S THE CALORIES I CRAVE!

19 February 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I gotta get off this diet!

20 February 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Zowie! A picture of lasagna! RIP! Not too bad except for the staples. ptooey

21 February 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

SNAP! I love static electricity. scuff scuff scuff scuff POP! SCUFF SCUFF SCUFF SCUFF SCUFF POW I hate static electricity.

22 February 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

BRINNNNG! I love to wake up early. The earlier you set your alarm, the longer you can oversleep.

23 February 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

It's yawn and crick time. YAWN CRICK!

24 February 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Eat your food, Garfield. No, It's youkky. How would you like to go to bed without dinner? Somehow, that psychology doesn't seem to work on Garfield.

25 February 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Why do people love teddy bears? It's for their don'ts... They don't eat your food. They don't dance with your date and they don't trump your ace lead.

26 February 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder what grandiose dream Garfield is having right now. -

27 February 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Have you ever seen such a sad movie in all your life, Garfield? Maybe I'm too hardened. Maybe I'm too cynical... But I wasn't that moved by "Flipper Gets The Ick".

28 February 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I declare this chair the sole property of Garfield The Cat. Move it, Garfield. That's my chair. My chair. MY CHAIR! MY CHAIR! MY CHAIR! MY CHAIR! KICK! My chair. My cushion.

1 March 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

GRRR ROWR EYOUCH! One should not bare one's claws while lying on them.

2 March 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Claws. THOCK! The only way to eat olives.

3 March 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

What's this welling up within my soul? By golly, it's my primal urges. Civilization as we know it may come to an end now that the CLAW is here!

4 March 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

The Claw spots groceries. ZIP! What a lousy epitaph..."he shuffled off this mortal oil at the hand of canned goods".

5 March 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

he Claw spots boy with balloon. POW! The claw enjoys a cruel laugh at a young child's expense. WAH!

6 March 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

The Claw sets out to wreak havoc. CRASH BAM SMASH WHAM The claw gets his havoc wreaked by the fang.

7 March 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Poor me. All alone in the rain...nobody notices, nobody cares. I think I'll catch pneumonia and die. That'll make'm feel bad. GARFIELD! GET IN HERE! Everyone needs a good bout with self-pity now and then.

8 March 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm putting you into training, Garfield. CATCH THE MOUSE! KILL THE MOUSE! CHASE IT! I'm disappointed in you. You're just another dumb animal. If I wait for the forward thrust to diminish, I should be able to retrieve it at my leisure.

9 March 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, where's your windup mousie? You didn't...? No of course you didn't. ptooey

10 March 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

GET THAT MOUSE, GARFIELD! What mouse? Squeak I KNOW IT'S THERE. I HEAR IT SQUEAK, NOW DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Squeak koink koink koink

11 March 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

CATCH THAT MOUSE, GARFIELD! Now what do I do with it? Eat it! Who knows where that mouse has been?

12 March 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Why do people expect us cats to eat mice? This mouse could be somebody's mother. This mouse could be a deacon in its little mouse church. And some of the fuzzy sucker's bones might get caught in my throat.

13 March 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

KILL THE MOUSE, GARFIELD! NO! I RESPECT MY WARMBLOODED BROTHERS AND SISTERS MORE THAN THAT! I'll reserve my abuse for the lower life forms.

14 March 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Cats can stare anything down. I win. I win again. Uh oh. This one's going to be tough.

15 March 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh Marcia. Oh Bob. kissy kissy smooch It's time Jon had another date. kiss

16 March 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

It's time to go to the veterinary clinic, Garfield. Sometimes I think Jon uses me as an excuse to see that lady vet. SLAM Especially when he forgets to take me along.

17 March 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Hellooo, doc. Remember me? Where's your cat? Forget my cat. Can't we get started without him? Sure. First a vitamin E shot to give your coat a keener sheen. I'll get my cat.

18 March 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

How a bout a date, my little kitten? I don't date men who who use animal names out of context. Rats.

19 March 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Why don't you like me? You're wishy-washy, crude, and a twerp. I mean aside from that.

20 March 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Your cat is extremely overweight, Mr. Arbuckle. It could lead to serious heart problems. Not to worry. I don't think Garfield has a heart. See?!

21 March 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to jog this morning. Of course, it will be cold when I start. But then I'll get hot and sweaty. And my heart will pound, making me dizzy. I'll get blisters on my feet. Then I'll be stiff and sore for days. Joggingprobably wouldn't be so bad. Bu

22 March 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder what today is? BONK! Monday.

23 March 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

There are two of us and only one donut, Garfield. Let's share it. Where's my share? Look closely. I left the hole for you.

24 March 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

bark! bark! bark! I fail to see the sport in it.

25 March 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Ah, a screen door upon which to hang. They don't make'm like they used to.

26 March 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello. What's this? Don't panic, Garfield. It's only a little rain. AAAAAAAAAAAAA

27 March 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I love lasagna fresh from the oven: the tomato sauce, the meat, the melted cheese. GARFIELD!

28 March 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I', going out, Garfield. The women will be hysterical over me. The outfit's hysterical. What do you think about my attire? It could use some alteration. Let's tuck that tie in and add some vents to the sleeves. A smart cat knows justhow far to go without

29 March 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Just remember, Garfield, when we get to the farm you are there to relax. I know last time you wanted to be helpful... But you do not grow chickens by planting chickens in the ground! It was an hones mistake.

30 March 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Mothers equate love with food. When they feed you they're saying, "I love you". Eat, eat, eat. And I love you, too.

31 March 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

The light bulb's burned out. Don't worry about me, I'll just sit here in the dark going blind. I'll fix it. He's such a good boy.

1 April 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

When I was your age I was married and had a kid. Yeh, me! Good argument, son. But I still think you should get married.

2 April 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Now that the sun has set, we come to the exciting part. We turn around to watch the moon rise. Be still my beating heart.

3 April 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

It IS kind of pretty out here on the farm. chirp chirp Walt Disney, eat your heart out.

4 April 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Uh oh. I'll never make it across that sunbeam awake. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Z poomp! Come on , Garfield, let's go for a walk. Z Z Z

5 April 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

You're getting a little pudgy there, Garfield. Maybe you'd be more attractive to the ladies if you'd suck your gut in. And then again, maybe not.

6 April 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Here comes Arlene. She's crazy about me. Buenos dias, mon sweet. I knew you'd come back to me. Of course you did, fatso. You're sitting on my rubber mouse.

7 April 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Tell me, Arlene, how does it feel to have a huge, ugly, disgusting gap between your front teeth? BAP! Oh.

8 April 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

ROWR OOOO Why do cats always caterwaul when they date? Would you rather come to my place and see my cat show trophy? EROOO

9 April 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

How about us having a lasting relationship, Garfield? I'm sorry, Arlene. I'm already hopelessly in love with somebody else. Who? Me.

10 April 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Thanks for the date, Arlene. How about a good night kiss? kiss kiss smack kiss Masher.

11 April 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Aren't pet stores fascinating, Garfield? The cute hamsters, the canaries, the tropical fish. Garfield? GARFIELD?!! Oh, there you are. Come on, let's go home for lunch. No thanks, I just ate.

12 April 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Where were you last night, Garfield? You met a ballet dancer and went to a sack race? Close enough.

13 April 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Z BARK! -

14 April 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

yip! yip! YIP! YIP! -

15 April 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

If there is such a thing as reincarnation, I'd like to come back as a movie star. What would you like to come back as, Garfield? What a silly question. A dogcatcher, of course.

16 April 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Mornin', Jon. What'll you have? Ham'n'eggs, eggs over easy. And what'll you have, sir? One of each will do nicely, thank you.

17 April 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield. Cats can't walk on their hind feet. I didn't know that. -

18 April 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

dial dial Hello, Ingrid? How about a date this weekend? Okay...then how about next weekend? How about the weekend after that? Maybe the weekend after that? Or the weekend after that? The next one? How about the weekend after that? -Look Ingrid, if you don

19 April 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

The moon is right. The time is right. Good evening, ladies and germs. A funny thing happened on the way here tonight...

20 April 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

A canary walks up to me the other day and he says, "I haven't had a bite in three days." So you know what I did? I ate him! Yah dah dah dah dah dah tappity tappity tappity

21 April 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

O solo MEYOW I know you're out there. I can hear you breathing.

22 April 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

My next song is for all you lovely ladies out there. Heck with it. This is for you ugly ones, too. BAP! BOP! BAP!

23 April 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

AROOOO THOCK! Ha ha! I was prepared this time. KACHUNG!

24 April 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Take my dog...please. What's that? HOOK!

25 April 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

BRING! Good morning, Garfield. Here's your yummy breakfast. SPLAT! Yuk. scratch RIP! scratch Chirp chirp EEEEEK! Just another day in the life of a typical cat.

26 April 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Why were cats placed upon this earth? Why, to give people pleasure. And to give dogs a hard way to go. SMACK!

27 April 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

There's nothing like a steaming cup of coffee and a newspaper to get the day started. I'd enjoy it even more if I could read.

28 April 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

ROWR -

29 April 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Once again I venture into the wilderness in search of quarry. I spot my prey, but I must make a clean kill. Hamburgers can be vicious if they're only wounded.

30 April 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I eat too much, I sleep too much and I don't exercise at all. There's certainly room for improvement. I think I'll take up smoking.

1 May 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

gobble gobble gobble gobble It's been a big day.

2 May 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

MROW OOOO ROWRR UR AROOOOOOO Thanks for the date, Garfield. Take care, Arlene. -

3 May 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

YAWN POOMP! I'll get you for this, Monday.

4 May 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Ha ha. How can I resist you when you're cute? Help yourself, Garfield. A fool and his lasagna are soon parted.

5 May 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

-

6 May 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

How do you feel about jogging this morning, Garfield? How do you feel about bleeding this morning. I get your drift. Bright lad.

7 May 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

If you want to eat, use this can opener, Garfield. You know what to do with it. Yes, I do. Gimme a steak.

8 May 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, who put eyeballs on my hamburger? -

9 May 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU, GARFIELD?! You were walking down the street minding your own business... SNIFF You stopped to smell a flower... When a big dog slipped up behind you... CLOBBER And beat the stuffing out of you. You are soright.

10 May 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield, what do you think of my new wallpaper? I like it.

11 May 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

If I were the cruel sort, I'd shove Odie off the table. But I'm not. Teddy bears, on the other hand... BOMP!

12 May 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

GET OUT OF MY CHAIR. OUT! OUT! Pooky wants to watch television . I guess I know where I fall in the order of things.

13 May 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I have a new diet for you, Garfield. You can eat all you want. After eating five pounds of carrots! -

14 May 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you hang around the house too much. What can I do to interest you in the great outdoors? You can screen it in and out a roof over it, for starters.

15 May 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

NAP ATTACK! I hate him. Z

16 May 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder if I could stand on just two feet? Hey, this is great! I'm standing! Now I can tap-dance. tap tap tap tappity tap tap And I can reach the tabletop. And drop-kick Odie. DROP KICK! Garfield! Cats can't walk on their HINDFEET! SMACK! See? Thanks a l

17 May 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Would you like to go camping, Garfield? WHAT?! AND GET WET WHEN IT RAINS, FREEZE AT NIGHT AND GET THORNS IN MY PAWS?! We'll have pan-baked lasagna. I'm packed. Let's go.

18 May 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Everything's packed for the camping trip, Garfield. Did I forget anything? Anything else? Yes, 250 miles of extension cord.

19 May 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

There's only one thing I like about cars. The upholstered ceilings.

20 May 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield! Get out of there! The light DOES turn off when the glove compartment is closed.

21 May 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

boing boing Are you bored, Garfield? We'll find out how bored I am if I don't get to a litter box soon.

22 May 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Get out of the car, Garfield. Let us bask in the sun and sleep with nature's creatures, Garfield. Translation: "Let's bake our brains and lie on the ground with bugs and snakes, Garfield".

23 May 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, here we are in the wilds, Garfield. Keep a sharp eye out for wild animals. WHAT?! WHA...?! You're just fooling me, aren't you? Oh, no, you don't, Garfield. I'll wise up to your tricks if it's the last thing I do.

24 May 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Come on across the creek, Garfield. I don't know why you cats are so afraid of a little mud. You would be too if you had to wash yourself with your tongue.

25 May 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Welcome to our first night of camping, Garfield. enjoy. ROAR! You enjoy. I'll be waiting in the car.

26 May 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Lock your door, Garfield. This is a tough neighborhood. I know. How often do you see kids having a fire hydrant eating contest?

27 May 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

-

28 May 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Tell me that's not a traffic cop's hat you're wearing, Garfield. Okay, it's not a traffic cop's hat.

29 May 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm bored. I think I'll step out for some fresh air. GARFIELD! WE ARE GOING OVER 50! So I noticed.

30 May 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, well, Here comes Arlene. Hey, baby, what's happenin'? Buzz off, creep. How about a gourmet dinner? I'm all yours! You really shouldn't have. Hang the expense. Only the best garbage for you, my dear.

31 May 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

You again. Me again. Nermal, the world's cutest kitten. Now, stand aside, fatso. I have people to charm.

1 June 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Out! You can scratch my chair, you can insult my mother, you can beat up my dog, and you can play with my rubber mousie... But you don't eat my food and you don't sleep into my bed. Yes, sir.

2 June 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

We cats are very independent. We don't need attention. Unless it's being given to someone else.

3 June 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Come here, Nermal. Make yourself useful. Where are you going? Trolling for dogs.

4 June 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

MINE! Pooky is a one-cat teddy bear.

5 June 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I guess I'll be leaving. Must you rush? If you insist, I'll stay. -

6 June 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

pat pat pat PUNT!

7 June 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Fetch, boy. Obedient...not very bright, but obedient.

8 June 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, Garfield.

9 June 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

BAP! woinng woinng

10 June 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

BARK! Pets.

11 June 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

BOP! WHANGO Nobody beats up on Odie but me.

12 June 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you know what I hate about dogs? Dogs are so ... so ... so friendly.

13 June 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

PUNT! boing! boing! boing! boing! CRASH! I love you when you're naughty.

14 June 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

It's Monday. Nothing good ever happens to me on mondays. So I'm going to stay in the middle of this big field all day, where I can't get hurt. SPOING!

15 June 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Claire, baby! What say you and I go out tonight and paint the town red, sweets? Yeh, maybe another time? Now who should I call? Try Clods Anonymous.

16 June 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Hellooo, Mary. Say, good lookin', where have you been all my life? I see...you lived on Main Street until you were two, then you moved to Rosewood where you presently reside. Shall I ask her out, Garfield? Sounds like a match made inheaven.

17 June 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Hanging on the screen door was more dangerous in olden times when people threw their dishwater out. GOOSH Old habits die hard.

18 June 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I can hear them sneaking up behind me now. They are crouching, getting ready to leap. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GARFIELD! What a wonderful surprise!

19 June 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? SPEAK TO ME! I'm not speaking to you.

20 June 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm bored. Bored, bored bored. There must be more things to do on a screen door than just hang there. Nice going, dummy.

21 June 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

There you are, Garfield. A genuine Naugahyde leash. How inhumane! How cruel! Do you know how many naugas they killed to make this leash?

22 June 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

ROWRR!! hop hop

23 June 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Where are you going, Jon? I'm breaking Garfield to the leash. He doesn't like it much, does he? How can you tell?

24 June 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

-

25 June 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

You wait here while I go into the store. Leashes are the greatest things since sliced bread. By the way, don't forget the frozen lasagna.

26 June 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

You know, Garfield, I've come to realize leashes aren't right for cats. Now there's a news flash for you. Next he will come to realize icebergs weren't right for the Titanic.

27 June 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Sit up. Roll over, Odie. Speak. Urf. Play dead. Beg. WHERE'S YOUR PRIDE?!

28 June 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I hate rain. I'm so depressed. Happiness is only a fair weather friend.

29 June 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

WAHCHOO! Floral print.

30 June 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

WAHCHOO! SNIFF

1 July 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Dear Garfield, How do I avoid the embarrassment of cat hair all over my house when I have company? Harried. Simple. Never invite anyone to your home again.

2 July 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I love sunny windowsills. And I hate open windows.

3 July 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Stay away from rocking chairs. Sound advice.

4 July 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh yuk! What did you drag that fish in for? SMACK! BONK! When a cat presents you with a dead, smelly thing, it's an expression of love, you twit.

5 July 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's a lesson in the natural order of things. Cats use claws to climb up trees. And fire departments to get down.

6 July 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

What does Garfield the cat do when he's stuck up a tree? Why what any honorable cat would do, of course. WAHHH!

7 July 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm getting out of this tree. BOING! I didn't allow for my resilient nature.

8 July 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Poor me..stuck up a tree. Things could be worse, I guess. -

9 July 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Why do I always get stuck up trees? It must be the cat in me. Right on.

10 July 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Come here, cat. ROWR! ROWR FFT! Here you are, cat. kiss Thanks.

11 July 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh good, it's here. This rubber burger should be good for some laughs. CHOMP! SPROING! ROWR! Hee hee. GRRRR HA! HA! HA! It was worth it.

12 July 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

You could've asked me to pass the salt. Cats don't ask. Cats take.

13 July 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Just look at yourself, Garfield. You're becoming a soft, sugar dependent, grease-eating lard ball. Is that what you want? YES! Let me rephrase that...

14 July 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Some people say I'm fat. Big deal, I love to eat. Waddling and sweating is kind of fun too.

15 July 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

BASH! Good morning, fatso. All I did was jump off the bed.

16 July 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

It isn't healthy for a cat to be as big as you are, Garfield. Why, you could get heart disease, get fallen arches... Get harpooned. Couldn't resist it could you.

17 July 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

CRASH Maybe I should go on diet.

18 July 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Let me give you a driving session, Garfield. When you're as good a driver as I am, you drive defensively. You look both ways at an intersection. Then you proceed with caution. HONK! SCREEEE! Darn you, Garfield. I'm such a kidder.

19 July 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I think you're eating too much salt, Garfield. I'm going to take it out of your diet. If you must. But I'm sure going to miss my salt lick.

20 July 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm putting you on a diet, Garfield. OH NO! I may have to resort to desperate emergency measures. Like chasing mice.

21 July 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to start you on your diet slowly, Garfield. For the rest of the week you may have no desserts. Fine and dandy. Helloooo, main course.

22 July 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello, ice cream. Hello, hamburger. Hello, lasagna. Get away from the refrigerator, Garfield. You're on a diet. What were you doing? Just visiting some old friends.

23 July 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm on a diet again. What a bummer. Soon there will be less of me around. I'm going to miss me.

24 July 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

The lost-your-will-to-live phase of the diet, huh? Let me die in peace.

25 July 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Going to do some singing on the ol' fence tonight? Music is my life.

26 July 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello. What's this? I hate mondays.

27 July 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, Garfield, Garfield. You ate my fern. I'm a bad boy. Now I'll have to go buy another one. I hope it tastes better than this one.

28 July 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

MMMPH

29 July 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, Garfield. Don't speak to me just yet. Some people have no respect for slow risers.

30 July 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

In the flower garden again, Garfield? How'd you guess?

31 July 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you know what this country needs? More dog pounds. Anti-dog mines around fire hydrants! Dog hunting season! Dog traps! Relax, Garfield. You're going to burst something. Why, millions could be saved on carpet cleaning bills alone.

1 August 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

* Garfield, lasagna! I waxed the table today. When my bones knit, you are a dead man.

2 August 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

You know it's Monday when you find sharks circling in your water bowl.

3 August 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm in the mood for a good fight, but I am personally opposed to senseless violence. PUNT! That's for not being a cat.

4 August 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey look, Garfield. This is my impression of a bowling ball. SHOOP! That was my impression of a vacuum cleaner.

5 August 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I feel like getting into a big fight today. Now I feel like holing up somewhere to whimper for a while.

6 August 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

What do you want to do tonight, Garfield? Do you want to go jogging? Go to a movie? Play miniature golf. Or would you rather go eat? Natch.

7 August 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you take your cat everywhere? Yes, we do everything together, my dear. Except make passes at ugly waitresses.

8 August 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Here it comes, folks. Tah-dah! Lasagna anyone? I'll pass. Nope. I'm on a diet. I think I'll wait for dessert. I just ate.

9 August 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder where I should go on vacation. Maybe France or Spain... Or Mexico.

10 August 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I've decided to take a vacation. Great! When do we leave? I don't think you understand. I said "I", not "we". Say you're just kidding. I think you understand.

11 August 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I can't believe Jon's not taking me on vacation. Cats need vacations too. All this eating and sleeping can wear a guy down.

12 August 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Aunt Gussie, would you take care of my cat while I'm gone on vacation? ...terrific! You know aunt Gussie, Garfield. She's a sweet old lady. How can you say that about someone who used to double date with Lizzie Borden?

13 August 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, meet aunt Gussie. I'm tickled pink to meet you. And you can color me unimpressed.

14 August 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

While I'm gone take good care of Garfield. And keep a close eye on him. He gets a lot of mischief. Have fun, Garfield. Garfield?

15 August 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

pat pat pat POOMP! I would have had to eat him to save face.

16 August 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Stowing away in Jon's suitcase is thirsty work. GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK Even after shave lotion tastes good if you're dry enough.

17 August 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Look out, sunny beaches. Here comes Don Juan. And his sidekick, Lawrence of Boxer Shorts.

18 August 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I can't believe you stowed away in my suitcase, Garfield. I'll bet you don't even know where we are. A tourist trap would be a safe assumption.

19 August 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

That's the trouble with vacation spots. This hamburger is terrible! What do you expect for a lousy $23,50?

20 August 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

This is the life, Garfield. You know you're on vacation when you see women in bikinis, hibiscus blossoms in the pool... And la cucarachas in the sock drawer.

21 August 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Pardon me...I believe I dropped my nobel peace prize around here somewhere. Beat it, crap. -

22 August 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield, guess what? The dog next door is being given a birthday party today. This brick should make a spiffy gift. BONK! YIP! YIP! Happy birthday, dog. Hello, doctor? Do you think you could surgically remove my cat from adog?

23 August 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield. It says here they are holding auditions for a cat food commercial. Would you be interested? Have my agent give the script a look-see.

24 August 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

To win the cat food commercial audition you'll have to be a convincing eater. Can you handle that? Are you kidding? When it comes to eating, I'm a genius.

25 August 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Imagine me doing a cat food commercial. Next there'll be the movie offers, the screaming fans, the limousines... Belly, you and I are going places.

26 August 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Is this where my cat auditions for the cat food commercial? Yeh. Hey, Larry. Break out the wide-angle lens. If I don't get the part, the director is going to be sporting those shades up his right nostril.

27 August 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, food commercial audition take one, action! That stuff looks awful. CUT! You're supposed to eat it, cat. What's my motivation`

28 August 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, cat food commercial audition take two, action! Yuk! Mmph grp bruf What's the director saying, Garfield? Loosely translated, I don't fit the part.

29 August 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, Garfield. SLUP * Good morning *

30 August 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, if it isn't Nermal, the Shirley Temple of the feline set. How's it going, Nermal? Oh, about the same. I'm overadored as usual. -

31 August 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you know why I hate Nermal? It's not because he's so young , tiny and cute... He reminds me I'm so old, fat and ugly.

1 September 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I can't reach that pie, Nermal. What say we team up? -

2 September 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Maybe I could be as popular as Nermal if I learned to dance. I think I hurt something.

3 September 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

MINE! Yours.

4 September 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Sorry you have to leave so soon, Nermal. But, I wasn't... I'm not afraid of him wearing out his welcome. I don't want him to break in a new one.

5 September 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I'll have a steak, fries and a large Cola. And my cat here will have an order or lasagna. WHAP! Make that a double order. BONK! Perhaps a triple order. GOOSH! Heck with it. Give him the whole pan. And give it wings.

6 September 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

SWIPE! I hate mondays.

7 September 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Hee hee HA HA HA! When you're built low to the ground, a walk in the grass can be ticklish.

8 September 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello, tree. Hello, flowers. Hello, apteryx. -

9 September 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

There you have it, folks. Medical science has a cure for almost everything but the common cold... And the early morning stares.

10 September 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Surprise, Garfield! I got you a scratching post. Gee, thanks. scratch scratch scratch

11 September 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

YAWN ARRRGH! Why are you wearing my reading glasses? All the better to scane you with, my dear.

12 September 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

rats! I went and did it again. Here I am, doomed to die again. If I stay up here I'll starve. If I jump I'll become a cat pancake. I hope someone rescues me. Stuck up th tree again, Garfield? Help! Help!

13 September 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Rats, I'd like to sleep in this morning, but I'm hungry too. * Z

14 September 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Go fetch the paper, Odie. -

15 September 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Ha ha ha! What a great plot, fine acting, super photography. I love commercials.

16 September 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

You're no longer a kitten, Garfield.

17 September 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

If cats can run up trees, why can't cats run DOWN trees as well? Garfield, you are very, very stupid.

18 September 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Owning a pet is ideal for single people. We have companionship without the hassle of raising a family. Wipe your feet before coming into the house! Okay, dad.

19 September 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Shoo, mice. Get out of my vitamin pills. Mice get into everything. Somebody could chase them out of here. I wonder why they wanted the vitamins? It beats me.

20 September 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Guess what, Garfield? We are going back to the farm. It will be nice to get back in touch with mother nature. When you find her, give her my best.

21 September 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

It will be nice seeing mon and dad on the farm. Maybe we can help with the chores, Garfield. No way. I'd get dizzy rotating the crops.

22 September 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm bored...bored, bored bored. Things could be worse I guess. SPLOOT Bingo.

23 September 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

It's just my luck to fall into a hog waller. Nothing is less appealing than a muddy cat. Hello there, good lookin'. Oh shut up.

24 September 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

How can you hogs stand to lie in a waller all day? The mud keeps the flies off and keeps us cool. And if we ever get out, the mud dries instantly.

25 September 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

It's time to go home, Garfield. Let me knock that mud off you. CRACK! Thanks...I think.

26 September 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

ROWR! Aw, wadda matter? Did Puppy tat hurt his paw? Let me give it a kiss. KISS There we go. All better. Pooey! Where's the disinfectant?

27 September 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm bored...bored, bored, bored. I hat Monday. I hate routine. RUMBA RUMBA SNORT RIP It's going to be one of those weeks.

28 September 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Where is it written I have to act like a cat?! Why can't I act like a moose instead? Stop being silly, Garfield. Careful, fella. I've gored people for less than that.

29 September 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello, I'm a bluebird. Garfield, you're too big to be acting this way. But I'm small for a sperm whale. I'm thinking of getting you some professional psychiatric help. You mean there are AMATEUR psychiatrists?

30 September 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Doctor, I'm afraid my cat is having a nervous breakdown. Z Breakdown, maybe...nervous, no.

1 October 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I've psychoanalyzed your cat, Mr. Arbuckle... He's just fine. Great! It's good to know you're normal, Garfield. My friends call me moon unit.

2 October 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm glad you passed your psychological examination, Garfield. Isn't it great to know you're normal like everyone else? FWEEE

3 October 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

dial dial dial Hello, Joe's Garage? Can you look at my car? I'd like to bring him in for a checkup. But I just had one. You'd better flush out his system... Tighten his hoses. Replace all the worn parts. Oh yes, and have himreupholstered. Garfield? Abu Dh

4 October 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I hate Monday...it marks the beginning of a long week of drudgery with no end in sight. And I don't even have a job. I'm just a social chameleon.

5 October 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Here comes Arlene. One look from those dewy eyes turns me into jelly. I'd go to the ends of the earth for her. Touch my teddy bear and you'll be picking those false eyelashes off the ceiling, lady.

6 October 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

RRRRR I thought you asked me to dinner. Old habits are hard to break.

7 October 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I love those pointy little ears of yours and those luscious ruby red lips. And I love listening to the melodic strains of the wind whistling through the gap between your front teeth. You went one to far, fella. You're cute when you'reangry.

8 October 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

You know, Arlene, you are the second most beautiful cat I've ever met. Who is she? "Who is she?" she asks.

9 October 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's go mousing. You go ahead. How about a good night kiss? Forget it. Lips that touch mice will never touch mine.

10 October 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Here, catch, Garfield. Good boy! I think I hear the paperboy. Now I'm going to catch the morning paper. Stupid weekend edition.

11 October 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, Mr. Cat. You caught me. Go ahead and eat me. Don't worry about the fact I have seven kids at home. I'm not going to eat you. Go home. To seven screaming kids? What kind of monster are you?

12 October 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I hear mice spread filth and disease. Do you believe everything you hear? Yes. I hear swinging a dead cat over your head by the full moon at midnight brings good luck. Touche.

13 October 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Tell me, mouse, what do you do for a living? I pose for anti-vermin posters. A cute mouse like you? That's very good.

14 October 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Look, cat, you need a reason to be kept here and I need food. I'll show up infront of your owner and you chase me off. You'll have a job and I'll have a place to live. Won't Jon get suspicious when I keep chasing the same mouse? I'll weardifferent wigs. Y

15 October 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD! A MOUSE! urp You're making me look bad, mouse. I'm too full to run.

16 October 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Why don't we run out there and eat all the food? My owner won't let us. Then let's kill him. It is not wise to rub out the hand that feeds you. Can I nibble the toes out of his sweat socks?

17 October 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

You know, some foods are funnier than others. Beets are funny. Liver...not funny. Prunes are funny, potatoes aren't. Chicken, now, that's funny. How about pickles and kumquats for lunch, Garfield? WAH HA HA!

18 October 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

FOOM! You know it's Monday when you discover a land mine in your breakfast.

19 October 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Cats have extraordinary powers of perception. I sense an evil presence in this room. Make that a STUPID presence.

20 October 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

pick pick pick pick Well, well, What have we here? Call it a nervous habit. pick

21 October 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch Timber.

22 October 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I wouldn't say you're fat, Garfield, but if you went on a diet, two underdeveloped nations would have enough to eat. 5-4-3-2-1 -

23 October 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

click ARRGH! Sorry, Garfield. I wish you'd warn me

24 October 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

AROOOOOO EROWRRR SHUT UP, STUPID CAT ROWRRR EITHER CLOSE YOUR MOUTH OR I'LL CLOSE IT FOR YOU. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Dictionary

25 October 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Z Z

26 October 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Z * You know it's Monday when wake up and it's Tuesday.

27 October 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

One step closer and I'll put that tongue in a splint. You gotta speak their language.

28 October 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Some people say I'm mean, but they never knew my uncle Nick. He used to eat whole chickens. But uncle Nick wasn't very bright. One day he jumped an ostrich by mistake. His last words were: "That's the biggest chicken I ever saw."

29 October 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm stuck! I may have to spend the rest of my life in bed! POP! Darn.

30 October 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Oboy, what a night. Don't press it, Garfield.

31 October 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

CHUNG!

1 November 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

BARK BARK BARK I hate mondays.

2 November 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Could it be Jon bought a new pair of slacks? Yes, they're new all right. No cat hairs.

3 November 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield! I didn't know cats could play guitars. Sure, cats are natural guitarists. We have built in picks.

4 November 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

-

5 November 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Oboy! Pizza! Uh-oh. Okay, who's in there? Ain't nobody here but us anchovies.

6 November 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

tap tap tap tap tap tap tap Garfield, leave Odie alone. tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap A guy tries to have a little fun.

7 November 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield will be in here any minute to wake me for breakfast. He'll pry my eye open to see if I'm awake. Then he will tap dance eon my head. And then he'll sit on my chest and breathe in my face until I get up! OKAY! OKAY! Whatdid I do?

8 November 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Look, Garfield. Mom made a sweater for you. I've never liked your mother.

9 November 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

-

10 November 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, Garfield. What happened to my candy caramels? Mon't mook at meef

11 November 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Look at that beautiful sunset, Garfield. It's nice having you to share it with. You have something in your eye? Yes, a little speck of sentiment.

12 November 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

What's so special about a pet-owner relationship, Garfield? Could it be everyone needs someone to lord over? Could be. But what do YOU get out of it?

13 November 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

You know, Garfield... I wonder what people would do without cats? Wither away and die, I suspect. I wonder what cats would do without people? who'd change our kitty litter?

14 November 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Ha, ha. Okay, Odie. Have a steak. ZIP! Oh, very well, Garfield. Have some bacon and eggs, . SPLAT! -

15 November 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I, Garfield The Cat, resolve to spend the entire week in bed. Oh sure, the going may get tough at times... But my sheer will and determination should resist the temptation to get up.

16 November 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Spending a whole week in bed isn't as easy as it looks. It takes preparation. Did you bring the party mix, Pooky?

17 November 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, are you going to stay in bed all week? Yup. Dinner is on the table. I think I'm going to cry.

18 November 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield...figure this one out... How do you plan to stay in bed all week and yet come to dinner too? -

19 November 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Heh heh. Just look at that. Garfield has his bed and his food. He's in kitty heaven. Cats have such simple pleasures. -

20 November 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Spending an entire week in bed was fun. But I crave more variety than that. Now I think I'll spend an entire week in this easy chair.

21 November 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

-

22 November 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

BAT FWIP FWIP FWIP I'm beginning to dread mondays.

23 November 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

So I'm stuck in a window blind, big deal. The pain and humiliation I can handle. It's losing the air of dignity that kills me.

24 November 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

-

25 November 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I'd cry out for help. But I couldn't handle that. Predicaments are embarrassing only when noticed by someone else.

26 November 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to get you out, Garfield. But I'd like to do it without hurting the window blind. It's things like this that let you know where you stand in life.

27 November 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

VOILA! One cat out of the blind! There's no need to thank me, Garfield. -

28 November 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

FLICK AYIEEEEE Z Z -

29 November 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Here I am, Nermal, the world's cutest kitten! What makes you think you're so cute? Simple, ALL kittens are cute until they grow into cats and become ugly. I didn't have to hear that. I tell it like it is, baby cakes.

30 November 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder how Nermal can stay so cute after all these years? pat pat pat I thought so. Mud Pack

1 December 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

FOLD FOLD Can I play too? Sure...grab hold. -

2 December 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

SLEEP ON MY TEDDY BEAR, WILL YOU?! Z Z I wish I could do that. Z

3 December 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I get the impression you don't like Nermal. Nonsense. I love Nermal. I JUST LOVE NERMAL! Uh...uh, Garfield.

4 December 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Nermal. Wanna race to the front door? You win. SLAM

5 December 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

What are you doing back in bed, Garfield? It's not even noon yet. As far as I'm concerned, the day is over.

6 December 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield. Let's spend today celebrating all that's good in mankind. Let's do a good deed for a stranger, stop and smell a flower and compliment a friend. That's a heavy thing to lay on a cat first thing in the morning.

7 December 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

My what a nice looking tie. What are you? Some kind of weirdo or something? Some people aren't very nice, are they, Garfield? Welcome to planet earth, Jon.

8 December 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

What's your philosophy of life, Garfield? All the world's a cookie jar, and all the men and women merely crumbs. And how do you feel about yourself? I happen to be one of the chocolate chips.

9 December 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Isn't it a glorious morning, Garfield? Big, fat, hairy deal. You know, Garfield, I have the feeling you're a cat with a little cynic in you. That's not true! I'm a cynic with a little cat around me.

10 December 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Maybe Jon's right. Maybe I am to cynical. Maybe the world isn't as stupid as I think. Nah.

11 December 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Looking good, Garfield. You still have it, you rascal. An active imagination is a good thing.

12 December 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Time passes slowly on a weekend. A fly crawls up the wall. One of those iridescent flies of fall. Time passes slowly on a weekend. That's my Jon. He's raised boredom to an art form.

13 December 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Actually, doctor, my cat doesn't need a checkup. It was just an excuse to see you again. Garfield! I didn't know you cared. No...me, doc...me.

14 December 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Tell me doc, if we were married, would you be Mrs. Jon Arbuckle, or doctor Mrs. Jon Arbuckle, or Mrs. doctor Liz Arbuckle, or... I hate to see a grown doctor cry.

15 December 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

How about a date, Liz? And what do you have in mind? I'd love to just hold your hand and gaze into your eyes. I like that. It's amazing the headway you can make when you stop playing games.

16 December 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Tonight I am going to take Liz out SOLO. You are staying home, Garfield. Where's my favorite tie? I get to go with you, and the tie lives. What say we double date, old buddy?

17 December 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Good evening, Liz. I have a wonderful time planned for us. We'll have dinner, go to a movie, and many more things too numerous to mention. You brought the cat. That was one of the unmentionables.

18 December 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Thank you for a lovely date, Jon. kiss Yah tah tah tah, yah tah tah tah Human love...it's so glandular.

19 December 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Huh, now where could the birds be? I was looking forward to a mid-morning snack. They must be elsewhere. I guess I'll check back later. GASP!

20 December 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm the kind of person who must see something to believe it. Yup, Newton was right.

21 December 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh no! Pooky! Where's your eye? Don't worry, old buddy. I'll get you fixed up. There's nothing more pathetic than a teddy bear with no depth perception.

22 December 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

What would you like for Christmas, Garfield? World peace. Seriously though. How about another button for Pooky here?

23 December 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

And here's something for jolly old Saint Nick. Ho ho ho.

24 December 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Christmas spirit... It's not the giving. It's not the receiving. It's the loving. Merry Christmas.

25 December 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

What a nice Christmas. I got an eye for my teddy bear, sand for my sandbox, and a new blanket. This is what happiness is all about... Security.

26 December 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon's mother certainly knows how to humiliate a guy. This unraveled thread should be my ticket out of this sweater. FREE! I'm FREE! click click click Aw, mom.

27 December 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder what today is? I'm putting you on a diet today, Garfield. Hellooo, Monday.

28 December 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield! You can't eat that candy. It's too fattening. How many calories can it have for 59 cents?

29 December 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

I've discovered the secret to dieting with no discomfort. Don't move a muscle. Eat no calories, burn no calories.

30 December 1981
 
 
   
Garfield

Congratulations, Jon. Your cat has just made dieting medical history. How so? He's suffering from sugar withdrawal... And grease withdrawal, and starch withdrawal... And withdrawal withdrawal...

31 December 1981
 




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