garfield :: (null)

		» 1 January 1981 »
So this is 1981. - A brand new year fresh with new promise. - Big, fat, hairy deal.
1 January 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Just what is a diet? - A diet is self-denial. - Fortunately, I'm such a swell fellow I haven't the heart to deny myself anything.
2 January 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Okay, who ate my socks? - - GARFIELD!! The guy's some kind of a psychic!
3 January 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
What's this strange feeling I feel today? - I feel like being nice to everyone today! - KISS - KISS KISS KISS KISS . KISS - People don't want nice...people want consistency.
4 January 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
FEED ME! FEED ME! FEED ME! OKAY! OKAY! - - Z
5 January 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
We cats nap anywhere, anytime. - Everyone should be so lucky. - With the possible exception of airline pilots.
6 January 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Z - Z - When Garfield naps, he naps HARD. Z
7 January 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Here it comes again! NAP ATTACK! - zzzz
8 January 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Oh no! I feel a nap attack coming on. But the movie's almost over. I must stay awake! - - Z
9 January 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Boy, what a great night's sleep. YAWN - HEY, GARFIELD. LET'S GO JOGGING. - Z
10 January 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
HUMANS! - I'm sorry, Garfield. If you didn't do those things you wouldn't be a cat. I love you for what you are. That's okay. - What happened to my fern? Don't ask.
11 January 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Stand aside, boy. There's lasagna to be eaten! - - We have an understanding, Garfield and I...I provide the food, shelter, and affection, and he provides the abuse.
12 January 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
ROWRRRR - elbow - EROWR Prima donna.
13 January 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I've been watching television too long. - I'd better take a break. -
14 January 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- You eat too fast, Garfield. says who? - BURP
15 January 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- - A seeing eye dog.
16 January 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
What's with you? - Someone switched my eyedrops with the airplane glue. That's terrible! - No wonder my model airplane wouldn't stick together.
17 January 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
mountains... - Have you ever seen such splendor? Lovely.
18 January 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
YAWN - TRIP! - It must be Monday.
19 January 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
SLUP - That was my hot water, Garfield. I was going to make tea. I know that. - Weird.
20 January 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
That's the biggest bird I've ever seen! - - Garfield, time to eat.
21 January 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I can see the headlines now. - "Cat gets hijacked". - "And duck gets hernia"
22 January 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Flying looks pretty simple. - - AARRRRGG
23 January 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Oh pooh. - Oh goody. - Oh pooh. City Pound
24 January 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
ANIMAL! - THESE FOUR WALLS ARE CLOSING IN ON ME! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! - You've only been here two minutes. I know, but this is my first shot at a prison scene.
25 January 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I can't believe it. Me, Garfield, in a dog pound. - That's "City Pound." There are cats here too, you know. - Arf arf. Oh shut up, fluffy.
26 January 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
My name's Guido, and this here is my associate, Fluffy. - Guido and Fluffy? - I've killed for less than that. One of your sensitive-tough types.
27 January 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Tell me, Guido. Why is Fluffy here in the city pound? - His previous owner encountered considerable difficulty in cultivating Fluffy with the proper hygienic habits. - Couldn't be housebroken, huh? Puddle City.
28 January 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
How long will I have to stay here in the pound? Till your owner comes to pick you up. - What if he doesn't come? Then it's curtains for you. - Great! I love to sharpen my claws on curtains. How do I break this to him?
29 January 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
We gotta bust out of this pound. Got any ideas? Why don't we use Fluffy as a battering ram? - FLUFFY! BE A BATTERING RAM! Yah. - CRASH!
30 January 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Thanks for helping me escape from the pound, Guido. No sweat. - It's nice to finally be out of trouble. What a relief it is to be returning to the safety and comfort of home. - Whatever that is...
31 January 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- - Why, hello there. I'm lost. - Aren't you cute! Can you give me directions! - Run along now, Kitty. - - - What did I do?
1 February 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
So what if I'm lost. Big deal. I can handle it. - Cats are adventurous. Cats are independent. Cats are strong... - I WANT MY TEDDY BEAR!
2 February 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
It should be no problem finding my way home. Cats have a natural homing instinct. - My instinct tells me to go that way. - BONK!
3 February 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
FOOD! I GOTTA HAVE FOOD! - Health Food Store - FOOD! I GOTTA HAVE FOOD!
4 February 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Boy, am I beat. I must've walked two blocks today. - It will be nice to get home. I miss my chew bone, my chew toy, - And Odie, my chew dog.
5 February 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I guess I'll have to hitchhike home. - Fortunately for me, I have something most other cats don't. - Thumbs.
6 February 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
GARFIELD! WELCOME BACK! - I'm starved. You must be starved. I'll get some food. - Home is where they understand you.
7 February 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
* * - * * - ? - - * * - ***!
8 February 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
MY FEET! WHERE ARE MY FEET?! - - Maybe I could stand to lose a pound or two.
9 February 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Garfield, you won't say you're fat... - But you have more chins than a Hong Kong telephone directory! -
10 February 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I wish Jon wouldn't kid me about my weight. - I'm a very sensitive person. - Et tu, chair?
11 February 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
My, my, a chocolate covered peanut. - RIP! - I think I need a bigger cat suit.
12 February 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- - Sorry about that.
13 February 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
GARFIELD! DINNER! - I appreciate your promptness, Garfield... - BUT, NEXT TIME, OPEN THE DOOR! Oops.
14 February 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Watch out, Metropolis. Garfield is in town. - This is my night to howl. - AROOO - Hey, baby, what's happenin' Buzz off, creep. - arooooo - Hi there, how about a kiss? Don't do me no favors. - How about you and me. Pack it in, jack. - aroooo.
15 February 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Uh-oh. It's diet time. - Let's diet together, Garfield. That would be more fun. - How does the old proverb go? "Misery loves company".
16 February 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Welcome to the first day of your diet, Garfield. - Through self-denial, you will realize a slimmer, more self-assured you. - I THINK I'M GONNA DIE!
17 February 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I shall now attempt to eat a lunch consisting of one leaf of lettuce. - Lightly seasoned with... - One quart of mayonnaise! BLOP
18 February 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Dieting is easy when you set your mind to it. - I no longer crave food. - IT'S THE CALORIES I CRAVE!
19 February 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- - I gotta get off this diet!
20 February 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Zowie! A picture of lasagna! - RIP! - Not too bad except for the staples. ptooey
21 February 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
SNAP! - I love static electricity. scuff scuff scuff scuff - POP! - SCUFF SCUFF SCUFF SCUFF SCUFF - POW - I hate static electricity.
22 February 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
BRINNNNG! - I love to wake up early. - The earlier you set your alarm, the longer you can oversleep.
23 February 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
It's yawn and crick time. - YAWN - CRICK!
24 February 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Eat your food, Garfield. No, It's youkky. - How would you like to go to bed without dinner? - Somehow, that psychology doesn't seem to work on Garfield.
25 February 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Why do people love teddy bears? - It's for their don'ts... - They don't eat your food. They don't dance with your date and they don't trump your ace lead.
26 February 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- I wonder what grandiose dream Garfield is having right now. -
27 February 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Have you ever seen such a sad movie in all your life, Garfield? - Maybe I'm too hardened. Maybe I'm too cynical... - But I wasn't that moved by "Flipper Gets The Ick".
28 February 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- I declare this chair the sole property of Garfield The Cat. - Move it, Garfield. That's my chair. My chair. - MY CHAIR! MY CHAIR! - MY CHAIR! MY CHAIR! - KICK! My chair. My cushion.
1 March 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
GRRR ROWR - EYOUCH! - One should not bare one's claws while lying on them.
2 March 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Claws. - THOCK! - The only way to eat olives.
3 March 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
What's this welling up within my soul? - By golly, it's my primal urges. - Civilization as we know it may come to an end now that the CLAW is here!
4 March 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
The Claw spots groceries. - ZIP! - What a lousy epitaph..."he shuffled off this mortal oil at the hand of canned goods".
5 March 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
he Claw spots boy with balloon. - POW! - The claw enjoys a cruel laugh at a young child's expense. WAH!
6 March 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
The Claw sets out to wreak havoc. - CRASH BAM SMASH WHAM - The claw gets his havoc wreaked by the fang.
7 March 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- Poor me. - All alone in the rain...nobody notices, nobody cares. - I think I'll catch pneumonia and die. That'll make'm feel bad. - GARFIELD! GET IN HERE! - Everyone needs a good bout with self-pity now and then.
8 March 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I'm putting you into training, Garfield. - CATCH THE MOUSE! KILL THE MOUSE! CHASE IT! - I'm disappointed in you. You're just another dumb animal. If I wait for the forward thrust to diminish, I should be able to retrieve it at my leisure.
9 March 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Garfield, where's your windup mousie? - You didn't...? No of course you didn't. - ptooey
10 March 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
GET THAT MOUSE, GARFIELD! What mouse? Squeak - I KNOW IT'S THERE. I HEAR IT SQUEAK, NOW DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Squeak - koink koink koink
11 March 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
CATCH THAT MOUSE, GARFIELD! - Now what do I do with it? Eat it! - Who knows where that mouse has been?
12 March 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Why do people expect us cats to eat mice? - This mouse could be somebody's mother. This mouse could be a deacon in its little mouse church. - And some of the fuzzy sucker's bones might get caught in my throat.
13 March 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
KILL THE MOUSE, GARFIELD! - NO! I RESPECT MY WARMBLOODED BROTHERS AND SISTERS MORE THAN THAT! - I'll reserve my abuse for the lower life forms.
14 March 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- Cats can stare anything down. - - I win. - - I win again. - Uh oh. - This one's going to be tough.
15 March 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Oh Marcia. Oh Bob. - kissy kissy smooch - It's time Jon had another date. kiss
16 March 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
It's time to go to the veterinary clinic, Garfield. - Sometimes I think Jon uses me as an excuse to see that lady vet. SLAM - Especially when he forgets to take me along.
17 March 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Hellooo, doc. Remember me? Where's your cat? - Forget my cat. Can't we get started without him? Sure. - First a vitamin E shot to give your coat a keener sheen. I'll get my cat.
18 March 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
How a bout a date, my little kitten? - I don't date men who who use animal names out of context. - Rats.
19 March 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Why don't you like me? - You're wishy-washy, crude, and a twerp. - I mean aside from that.
20 March 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Your cat is extremely overweight, Mr. Arbuckle. It could lead to serious heart problems. Not to worry. - I don't think Garfield has a heart. - See?!
21 March 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
probably wouldn't be so bad. But the anticipation is killing me.
22 March 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I wonder what today is? - BONK! - Monday.
23 March 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
There are two of us and only one donut, Garfield. Let's share it. - - Where's my share? Look closely. I left the hole for you.
24 March 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
bark! bark! bark! - - I fail to see the sport in it.
25 March 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Ah, a screen door upon which to hang. - - They don't make'm like they used to.
26 March 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Hello. What's this? - Don't panic, Garfield. It's only a little rain. - AAAAAAAAAAAAA
27 March 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I love lasagna fresh from the oven: the tomato sauce, the meat, the melted cheese. - - GARFIELD!
28 March 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
how far to go without crossing over the line. - Perhaps a more rakish tilt to the hat. -
29 March 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Just remember, Garfield, when we get to the farm you are there to relax. - I know last time you wanted to be helpful... - But you do not grow chickens by planting chickens in the ground! It was an hones mistake.
30 March 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Mothers equate love with food. When they feed you they're saying, "I love you". - Eat, eat, eat. - And I love you, too.
31 March 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
The light bulb's burned out. - Don't worry about me, I'll just sit here in the dark going blind. - I'll fix it. He's such a good boy.
1 April 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
When I was your age I was married and had a kid. Yeh, me! - - Good argument, son. But I still think you should get married.
2 April 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Now that the sun has set, we come to the exciting part. - We turn around to watch the moon rise. - Be still my beating heart.
3 April 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
It IS kind of pretty out here on the farm. - chirp chirp - Walt Disney, eat your heart out.
4 April 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- Uh oh. I'll never make it across that sunbeam awake. - Nothing ventured, nothing gained. - Z poomp! - Come on , Garfield, let's go for a walk. Z - Z Z
5 April 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
You're getting a little pudgy there, Garfield. - Maybe you'd be more attractive to the ladies if you'd suck your gut in. - And then again, maybe not.
6 April 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Here comes Arlene. She's crazy about me. - Buenos dias, mon sweet. I knew you'd come back to me. - Of course you did, fatso. You're sitting on my rubber mouse.
7 April 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Tell me, Arlene, how does it feel to have a huge, ugly, disgusting gap between your front teeth? - BAP! - Oh.
8 April 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
ROWR OOOO - Why do cats always caterwaul when they date? Would you rather come to my place and see my cat show trophy? - EROOO
9 April 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
How about us having a lasting relationship, Garfield? - I'm sorry, Arlene. I'm already hopelessly in love with somebody else. - Who? Me.
10 April 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Thanks for the date, Arlene. How about a good night kiss? - kiss kiss smack kiss - Masher.
11 April 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- Aren't pet stores fascinating, Garfield? - The cute hamsters, the canaries, the tropical fish. - Garfield? - GARFIELD?!! - Oh, there you are. - Come on, let's go home for lunch. No thanks, I just ate.
12 April 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Where were you last night, Garfield? - - You met a ballet dancer and went to a sack race? Close enough.
13 April 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Z - BARK! -
14 April 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
yip! yip! YIP! YIP! - -
15 April 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
If there is such a thing as reincarnation, I'd like to come back as a movie star. - What would you like to come back as, Garfield? What a silly question. - A dogcatcher, of course.
16 April 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Mornin', Jon. What'll you have? Ham'n'eggs, eggs over easy. - And what'll you have, sir? - One of each will do nicely, thank you.
17 April 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Garfield. Cats can't walk on their hind feet. - I didn't know that. -
18 April 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Look Ingrid, if you don't want to go out with me, why don't you just say so! - SLAM! - I guess I told her. String 'em along then break their hearts. Right, Jon?
19 April 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
The moon is right. - The time is right. - Good evening, ladies and germs. A funny thing happened on the way here tonight...
20 April 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
A canary walks up to me the other day and he says, "I haven't had a bite in three days." So you know what I did? - I ate him! - Yah dah dah dah dah dah tappity tappity tappity
21 April 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
O solo MEYOW - - I know you're out there. I can hear you breathing.
22 April 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
My next song is for all you lovely ladies out there. - Heck with it. This is for you ugly ones, too. - BAP! BOP! BAP!
23 April 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
AROOOO - THOCK! Ha ha! I was prepared this time. - KACHUNG!
24 April 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Take my dog...please. - What's that? - HOOK!
25 April 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
BRING! - Good morning, Garfield. Here's your yummy breakfast. - SPLAT! Yuk. - scratch RIP! scratch - Chirp chirp - EEEEEK! - Just another day in the life of a typical cat.
26 April 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Why were cats placed upon this earth? - Why, to give people pleasure. - And to give dogs a hard way to go. SMACK!
27 April 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
There's nothing like a steaming cup of coffee and a newspaper to get the day started. - - I'd enjoy it even more if I could read.
28 April 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
ROWR - -
29 April 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Once again I venture into the wilderness in search of quarry. - I spot my prey, but I must make a clean kill. - Hamburgers can be vicious if they're only wounded.
30 April 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I eat too much, I sleep too much and I don't exercise at all. - There's certainly room for improvement. - I think I'll take up smoking.
1 May 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- gobble gobble gobble gobble - It's been a big day.
2 May 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- MROW OOOO - ROWRR UR - AROOOOOOO - Thanks for the date, Garfield. Take care, Arlene. -
3 May 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
YAWN - POOMP! - I'll get you for this, Monday.
4 May 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- Ha ha. How can I resist you when you're cute? Help yourself, Garfield. - A fool and his lasagna are soon parted.
5 May 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- -
6 May 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
How do you feel about jogging this morning, Garfield? - How do you feel about bleeding this morning. - I get your drift. Bright lad.
7 May 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
If you want to eat, use this can opener, Garfield. - You know what to do with it. Yes, I do. - Gimme a steak.
8 May 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- Okay, who put eyeballs on my hamburger? -
9 May 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
right.
10 May 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Hey, Garfield, what do you think of my new wallpaper? - - I like it.
11 May 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
If I were the cruel sort, I'd shove Odie off the table. - But I'm not. - Teddy bears, on the other hand... BOMP!
12 May 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
GET OUT OF MY CHAIR. OUT! OUT! - Pooky wants to watch television . I guess I know where I fall in the order of things.
13 May 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I have a new diet for you, Garfield. You can eat all you want. - After eating five pounds of carrots! -
14 May 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Garfield, you hang around the house too much. - What can I do to interest you in the great outdoors? - You can screen it in and out a roof over it, for starters.
15 May 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- NAP ATTACK! - I hate him. Z
16 May 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
FEET! - SMACK! See? Thanks a lot.
17 May 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Would you like to go camping, Garfield? - WHAT?! AND GET WET WHEN IT RAINS, FREEZE AT NIGHT AND GET THORNS IN MY PAWS?! - We'll have pan-baked lasagna. I'm packed. Let's go.
18 May 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Everything's packed for the camping trip, Garfield. Did I forget anything? - - Anything else? Yes, 250 miles of extension cord.
19 May 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- There's only one thing I like about cars. - The upholstered ceilings.
20 May 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- Garfield! Get out of there! - The light DOES turn off when the glove compartment is closed.
21 May 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
boing boing - Are you bored, Garfield? - We'll find out how bored I am if I don't get to a litter box soon.
22 May 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Get out of the car, Garfield. - Let us bask in the sun and sleep with nature's creatures, Garfield. - Translation: "Let's bake our brains and lie on the ground with bugs and snakes, Garfield".
23 May 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Well, here we are in the wilds, Garfield. Keep a sharp eye out for wild animals. - WHAT?! - WHA...?! - You're just fooling me, aren't you? - - Oh, no, you don't, Garfield. - I'll wise up to your tricks if it's the last thing I do.
24 May 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Come on across the creek, Garfield. - I don't know why you cats are so afraid of a little mud. - You would be too if you had to wash yourself with your tongue.
25 May 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Welcome to our first night of camping, Garfield. enjoy. - ROAR! - You enjoy. I'll be waiting in the car.
26 May 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Lock your door, Garfield. This is a tough neighborhood. - I know. - How often do you see kids having a fire hydrant eating contest?
27 May 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- -
28 May 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- - Tell me that's not a traffic cop's hat you're wearing, Garfield. Okay, it's not a traffic cop's hat.
29 May 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I'm bored. I think I'll step out for some fresh air. - GARFIELD! WE ARE GOING OVER 50! - So I noticed.
30 May 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- Well, well, Here comes Arlene. - Hey, baby, what's happenin'? Buzz off, creep. - How about a gourmet dinner? I'm all yours! - - You really shouldn't have. Hang the expense. Only the best garbage for you, my dear.
31 May 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
You again. Me again. - Nermal, the world's cutest kitten. - Now, stand aside, fatso. I have people to charm.
1 June 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Out! - You can scratch my chair, you can insult my mother, you can beat up my dog, and you can play with my rubber mousie... - But you don't eat my food and you don't sleep into my bed. Yes, sir.
2 June 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
We cats are very independent. - We don't need attention. - Unless it's being given to someone else.
3 June 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Come here, Nermal. - Make yourself useful. - Where are you going? Trolling for dogs.
4 June 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- MINE! - Pooky is a one-cat teddy bear.
5 June 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I guess I'll be leaving. Must you rush? - If you insist, I'll stay. -
6 June 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- pat pat pat - - - - - - PUNT!
7 June 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Fetch, boy. - - Obedient...not very bright, but obedient.
8 June 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- - Oh, Garfield.
9 June 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
BAP! - woinng - woinng
10 June 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- BARK! - Pets.
11 June 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
BOP! - WHANGO - Nobody beats up on Odie but me.
12 June 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Do you know what I hate about dogs? - Dogs are so ... so ... so - friendly.
13 June 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- PUNT! - - - boing! boing! boing! boing! - CRASH! - I love you when you're naughty.
14 June 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
It's Monday. Nothing good ever happens to me on mondays. - So I'm going to stay in the middle of this big field all day, where I can't get hurt. - SPOING!
15 June 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Claire, baby! What say you and I go out tonight and paint the town red, sweets? - Yeh, maybe another time? - Now who should I call? Try Clods Anonymous.
16 June 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
heaven.
17 June 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Hanging on the screen door was more dangerous in olden times when people threw their dishwater out. - GOOSH - Old habits die hard.
18 June 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I can hear them sneaking up behind me now. - They are crouching, getting ready to leap. - HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GARFIELD! What a wonderful surprise!
19 June 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- - GARFIELD! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? SPEAK TO ME! I'm not speaking to you.
20 June 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- I'm bored. - Bored, bored bored. - There must be more things to do on a screen door than just hang there. - - - - Nice going, dummy.
21 June 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
There you are, Garfield. A genuine Naugahyde leash. - How inhumane! How cruel! - Do you know how many naugas they killed to make this leash?
22 June 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- ROWRR!! - hop hop
23 June 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Where are you going, Jon? I'm breaking Garfield to the leash. - He doesn't like it much, does he? How can you tell?
24 June 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- -
25 June 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
You wait here while I go into the store. - Leashes are the greatest things since sliced bread. - By the way, don't forget the frozen lasagna.
26 June 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
You know, Garfield, I've come to realize leashes aren't right for cats. - Now there's a news flash for you. - Next he will come to realize icebergs weren't right for the Titanic.
27 June 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Sit up. - Roll over, Odie. - Speak. Urf. - Play dead. - Beg. - WHERE'S YOUR PRIDE?!
28 June 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I hate rain. - I'm so depressed. - Happiness is only a fair weather friend.
29 June 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- WAHCHOO! - Floral print.
30 June 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- WAHCHOO! - SNIFF
1 July 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Dear Garfield, How do I avoid the embarrassment of cat hair all over my house when I have company? Harried. - Simple. - Never invite anyone to your home again.
2 July 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I love sunny windowsills. - - And I hate open windows.
3 July 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- - Stay away from rocking chairs. Sound advice.
4 July 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- - - Oh yuk! - What did you drag that fish in for? - SMACK! BONK! - When a cat presents you with a dead, smelly thing, it's an expression of love, you twit.
5 July 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Here's a lesson in the natural order of things. - Cats use claws to climb up trees. - And fire departments to get down.
6 July 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
What does Garfield the cat do when he's stuck up a tree? - Why what any honorable cat would do, of course. - WAHHH!
7 July 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I'm getting out of this tree. - BOING! - I didn't allow for my resilient nature.
8 July 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Poor me..stuck up a tree. - Things could be worse, I guess. -
9 July 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Why do I always get stuck up trees? - It must be the cat in me. - Right on.
10 July 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Come here, cat. ROWR! - ROWR FFT! Here you are, cat. kiss Thanks.
11 July 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Oh good, it's here. - This rubber burger should be good for some laughs. - CHOMP! - SPROING! - ROWR! Hee hee. - GRRRR HA! HA! HA! - - It was worth it.
12 July 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- - You could've asked me to pass the salt. Cats don't ask. Cats take.
13 July 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Just look at yourself, Garfield. You're becoming a soft, sugar dependent, grease-eating lard ball. Is that what you want? - YES! - Let me rephrase that...
14 July 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Some people say I'm fat. - Big deal, I love to eat. - Waddling and sweating is kind of fun too.
15 July 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- BASH! - Good morning, fatso. All I did was jump off the bed.
16 July 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
It isn't healthy for a cat to be as big as you are, Garfield. - Why, you could get heart disease, get fallen arches... - Get harpooned. Couldn't resist it could you.
17 July 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- CRASH - Maybe I should go on diet.
18 July 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Let me give you a driving session, Garfield. - When you're as good a driver as I am, you drive defensively. - You look both ways at an intersection. - Then you proceed with caution. - HONK! SCREEEE! - Darn you, Garfield. I'm such a kidder.
19 July 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I think you're eating too much salt, Garfield. I'm going to take it out of your diet. - If you must. - But I'm sure going to miss my salt lick.
20 July 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I'm putting you on a diet, Garfield. OH NO! - I may have to resort to desperate emergency measures. - Like chasing mice.
21 July 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I'm going to start you on your diet slowly, Garfield. - For the rest of the week you may have no desserts. Fine and dandy. - Helloooo, main course.
22 July 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Hello, ice cream. Hello, hamburger. Hello, lasagna. - Get away from the refrigerator, Garfield. You're on a diet. - What were you doing? Just visiting some old friends.
23 July 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I'm on a diet again. What a bummer. - Soon there will be less of me around. - I'm going to miss me.
24 July 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- - The lost-your-will-to-live phase of the diet, huh? Let me die in peace.
25 July 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- - - - - - Going to do some singing on the ol' fence tonight? Music is my life.
26 July 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Hello. What's this? - - I hate mondays.
27 July 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Garfield, Garfield, Garfield. You ate my fern. I'm a bad boy. - Now I'll have to go buy another one. - I hope it tastes better than this one.
28 July 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- - MMMPH
29 July 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Good morning, Garfield. - Don't speak to me just yet. - Some people have no respect for slow risers.
30 July 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- - In the flower garden again, Garfield? How'd you guess?
31 July 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Do you know what this country needs? More dog pounds. - Anti-dog mines around fire hydrants! Dog hunting season! Dog traps! - Relax, Garfield. You're going to burst something. Why, millions could be saved on carpet cleaning bills alone.
1 August 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
* - Garfield, lasagna! - - - I waxed the table today. When my bones knit, you are a dead man.
2 August 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- - You know it's Monday when you find sharks circling in your water bowl.
3 August 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I'm in the mood for a good fight, but I am personally opposed to senseless violence. - PUNT! - That's for not being a cat.
4 August 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Hey look, Garfield. This is my impression of a bowling ball. - SHOOP! - That was my impression of a vacuum cleaner.
5 August 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I feel like getting into a big fight today. - - Now I feel like holing up somewhere to whimper for a while.
6 August 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
What do you want to do tonight, Garfield? Do you want to go jogging? Go to a movie? Play miniature golf. - Or would you rather go eat? - Natch.
7 August 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Do you take your cat everywhere? - Yes, we do everything together, my dear. - Except make passes at ugly waitresses.
8 August 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Here it comes, folks. - Tah-dah! - - Lasagna anyone? I'll pass. Nope. I'm on a diet. I think I'll wait for dessert. I just ate.
9 August 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I wonder where I should go on vacation. - Maybe France or Spain... - Or Mexico.
10 August 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Garfield, I've decided to take a vacation. Great! When do we leave? - I don't think you understand. I said "I", not "we". - Say you're just kidding. I think you understand.
11 August 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I can't believe Jon's not taking me on vacation. - Cats need vacations too. - All this eating and sleeping can wear a guy down.
12 August 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Aunt Gussie, would you take care of my cat while I'm gone on vacation? ...terrific! - You know aunt Gussie, Garfield. She's a sweet old lady. - How can you say that about someone who used to double date with Lizzie Borden?
13 August 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Garfield, meet aunt Gussie. - I'm tickled pink to meet you. - And you can color me unimpressed.
14 August 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
While I'm gone take good care of Garfield. - And keep a close eye on him. He gets a lot of mischief. - Have fun, Garfield. Garfield?
15 August 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- pat pat pat - - POOMP! - I would have had to eat him to save face.
16 August 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Stowing away in Jon's suitcase is thirsty work. - GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK - Even after shave lotion tastes good if you're dry enough.
17 August 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Look out, sunny beaches. - Here comes Don Juan. - And his sidekick, Lawrence of Boxer Shorts.
18 August 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I can't believe you stowed away in my suitcase, Garfield. - I'll bet you don't even know where we are. - A tourist trap would be a safe assumption.
19 August 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
That's the trouble with vacation spots. - This hamburger is terrible! - What do you expect for a lousy $23,50?
20 August 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
This is the life, Garfield. - You know you're on vacation when you see women in bikinis, hibiscus blossoms in the pool... - And la cucarachas in the sock drawer.
21 August 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Pardon me...I believe I dropped my nobel peace prize around here somewhere. Beat it, crap. - -
22 August 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
dog?
23 August 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Hey, Garfield. It says here they are holding auditions for a cat food commercial. - Would you be interested? - Have my agent give the script a look-see.
24 August 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
To win the cat food commercial audition you'll have to be a convincing eater. - Can you handle that? Are you kidding? - When it comes to eating, I'm a genius.
25 August 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Imagine me doing a cat food commercial. - Next there'll be the movie offers, the screaming fans, the limousines... - Belly, you and I are going places.
26 August 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Is this where my cat auditions for the cat food commercial? Yeh. - Hey, Larry. Break out the wide-angle lens. - If I don't get the part, the director is going to be sporting those shades up his right nostril.
27 August 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Okay, food commercial audition take one, action! That stuff looks awful. - CUT! - You're supposed to eat it, cat. What's my motivation`
28 August 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Okay, cat food commercial audition take two, action! - Yuk! - Mmph grp bruf What's the director saying, Garfield? Loosely translated, I don't fit the part.
29 August 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- Good morning, Garfield. - - - SLUP - * Good morning *
30 August 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Well, if it isn't Nermal, the Shirley Temple of the feline set. - How's it going, Nermal? Oh, about the same. I'm overadored as usual. -
31 August 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Do you know why I hate Nermal? - It's not because he's so young , tiny and cute... - He reminds me I'm so old, fat and ugly.
1 September 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- I can't reach that pie, Nermal. What say we team up? -
2 September 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Maybe I could be as popular as Nermal if I learned to dance. - - I think I hurt something.
3 September 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
MINE! - - Yours.
4 September 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Sorry you have to leave so soon, Nermal. But, I wasn't... - - I'm not afraid of him wearing out his welcome. I don't want him to break in a new one.
5 September 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I'll have a steak, fries and a large Cola. - And my cat here will have an order or lasagna. - WHAP! - Make that a double order. - BONK! - Perhaps a triple order. - GOOSH! - Heck with it. Give him the whole pan. And give it wings.
6 September 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- SWIPE! - I hate mondays.
7 September 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Hee hee - HA HA HA! - When you're built low to the ground, a walk in the grass can be ticklish.
8 September 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Hello, tree. Hello, flowers. - Hello, apteryx. -
9 September 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
There you have it, folks. - Medical science has a cure for almost everything but the common cold... - And the early morning stares.
10 September 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Surprise, Garfield! I got you a scratching post. Gee, thanks. - - scratch scratch scratch
11 September 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
YAWN - ARRRGH! - Why are you wearing my reading glasses? All the better to scane you with, my dear.
12 September 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- - rats! - I went and did it again. - Here I am, doomed to die again. If I stay up here I'll starve. If I jump I'll become a cat pancake. I hope someone rescues me. - Stuck up th tree again, Garfield? Help! Help!
13 September 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Rats, I'd like to sleep in this morning, but I'm hungry too. - * - Z
14 September 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Go fetch the paper, Odie. - -
15 September 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Ha ha ha! What a great plot, fine acting, super photography. - I love commercials.
16 September 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- - You're no longer a kitten, Garfield.
17 September 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
If cats can run up trees, why can't cats run DOWN trees as well? - - Garfield, you are very, very stupid.
18 September 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Owning a pet is ideal for single people. We have companionship without the hassle of raising a family. - - Wipe your feet before coming into the house! Okay, dad.
19 September 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- Shoo, mice. Get out of my vitamin pills. - Mice get into everything. - Somebody could chase them out of here. - I wonder why they wanted the vitamins? - It beats me.
20 September 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Guess what, Garfield? We are going back to the farm. - It will be nice to get back in touch with mother nature. - When you find her, give her my best.
21 September 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
It will be nice seeing mon and dad on the farm. - Maybe we can help with the chores, Garfield. No way. - I'd get dizzy rotating the crops.
22 September 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I'm bored...bored, bored bored. Things could be worse I guess. - SPLOOT - Bingo.
23 September 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
It's just my luck to fall into a hog waller. - Nothing is less appealing than a muddy cat. - Hello there, good lookin'. Oh shut up.
24 September 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
How can you hogs stand to lie in a waller all day? - The mud keeps the flies off and keeps us cool. - And if we ever get out, the mud dries instantly.
25 September 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
It's time to go home, Garfield. Let me knock that mud off you. - CRACK! - Thanks...I think.
26 September 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
ROWR! - Aw, wadda matter? Did Puppy tat hurt his paw? Let me give it a kiss. - KISS - There we go. All better. - - Pooey! Where's the disinfectant?
27 September 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I'm bored...bored, bored, bored. I hat Monday. I hate routine. - - RUMBA RUMBA SNORT RIP It's going to be one of those weeks.
28 September 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Where is it written I have to act like a cat?! - Why can't I act like a moose instead? - Stop being silly, Garfield. - Careful, fella. I've gored people for less than that.
29 September 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Hello, I'm a bluebird. - Garfield, you're too big to be acting this way. But I'm small for a sperm whale. - I'm thinking of getting you some professional psychiatric help. You mean there are AMATEUR psychiatrists?
30 September 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Doctor, I'm afraid my cat is having a nervous breakdown. - Z - Breakdown, maybe...nervous, no.
1 October 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I've psychoanalyzed your cat, Mr. Arbuckle... - He's just fine. Great! - It's good to know you're normal, Garfield. My friends call me moon unit.
2 October 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I'm glad you passed your psychological examination, Garfield. Isn't it great to know you're normal like everyone else? - - FWEEE
3 October 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
reupholstered. - Garfield? Abu Dhabi
4 October 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I hate Monday...it marks the beginning of a long week of drudgery with no end in sight. - And I don't even have a job. - I'm just a social chameleon.
5 October 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Here comes Arlene. One look from those dewy eyes turns me into jelly. I'd go to the ends of the earth for her. - - Touch my teddy bear and you'll be picking those false eyelashes off the ceiling, lady.
6 October 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- RRRRR - I thought you asked me to dinner. Old habits are hard to break.
7 October 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
angry.
8 October 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
You know, Arlene, you are the second most beautiful cat I've ever met. - Who is she? - "Who is she?" she asks.
9 October 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Let's go mousing. You go ahead. - How about a good night kiss? Forget it. - Lips that touch mice will never touch mine.
10 October 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- Here, catch, Garfield. - - Good boy! - I think I hear the paperboy. - Now I'm going to catch the morning paper. - - Stupid weekend edition.
11 October 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- Okay, Mr. Cat. You caught me. Go ahead and eat me. Don't worry about the fact I have seven kids at home. - I'm not going to eat you. Go home. To seven screaming kids? What kind of monster are you?
12 October 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I hear mice spread filth and disease. - Do you believe everything you hear? Yes. - I hear swinging a dead cat over your head by the full moon at midnight brings good luck. Touche.
13 October 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Tell me, mouse, what do you do for a living? - I pose for anti-vermin posters. A cute mouse like you? - That's very good.
14 October 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
different wigs. You thought of everything.
15 October 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
GARFIELD! A MOUSE! urp - - You're making me look bad, mouse. I'm too full to run.
16 October 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Why don't we run out there and eat all the food? My owner won't let us. - Then let's kill him. - It is not wise to rub out the hand that feeds you. Can I nibble the toes out of his sweat socks?
17 October 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- You know, some foods are funnier than others. - Beets are funny. - Liver...not funny. - Prunes are funny, potatoes aren't. - Chicken, now, that's funny. - How about pickles and kumquats for lunch, Garfield? - WAH HA HA!
18 October 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- FOOM! - You know it's Monday when you discover a land mine in your breakfast.
19 October 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Cats have extraordinary powers of perception. I sense an evil presence in this room. - - Make that a STUPID presence.
20 October 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
pick pick - pick pick - Well, well, What have we here? Call it a nervous habit. pick
21 October 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
scratch scratch scratch - scratch scratch - Timber.
22 October 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I wouldn't say you're fat, Garfield, but if you went on a diet, two underdeveloped nations would have enough to eat. - 5-4-3-2-1- -
23 October 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- click ARRGH! - Sorry, Garfield. I wish you'd warn me
24 October 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
AROOOOOO - EROWRRR SHUT UP, STUPID CAT - ROWRRR EITHER CLOSE YOUR MOUTH OR I'LL CLOSE IT FOR YOU. - - Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. - Dictionary
25 October 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Z - Z - Z
26 October 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Z - * - You know it's Monday when wake up and it's Tuesday.
27 October 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- One step closer and I'll put that tongue in a splint. - You gotta speak their language.
28 October 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Some people say I'm mean, but they never knew my uncle Nick. He used to eat whole chickens. - But uncle Nick wasn't very bright. One day he jumped an ostrich by mistake. - His last words were: "That's the biggest chicken I ever saw."
29 October 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I'm stuck! I may have to spend the rest of my life in bed! - POP! - Darn.
30 October 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Oboy, what a night. - Don't press it, Garfield.
31 October 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- - - CHUNG!
1 November 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
BARK BARK BARK - - I hate mondays.
2 November 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Could it be Jon bought a new pair of slacks? - Yes, they're new all right. - No cat hairs.
3 November 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Garfield! I didn't know cats could play guitars. - Sure, cats are natural guitarists. - We have built in picks.
4 November 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- -
5 November 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Oboy! Pizza! - Uh-oh. - Okay, who's in there? Ain't nobody here but us anchovies.
6 November 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
tap tap tap tap tap tap tap - Garfield, leave Odie alone. tap tap tap tap - tap tap tap tap tap tap A guy tries to have a little fun.
7 November 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
did I do?
8 November 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Look, Garfield. Mom made a sweater for you. - - I've never liked your mother.
9 November 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- -
10 November 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Oh, Garfield. - What happened to my candy caramels? - Mon't mook at meef
11 November 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Look at that beautiful sunset, Garfield. - It's nice having you to share it with. - You have something in your eye? Yes, a little speck of sentiment.
12 November 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
What's so special about a pet-owner relationship, Garfield? - Could it be everyone needs someone to lord over? Could be. - But what do YOU get out of it?
13 November 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
You know, Garfield... - I wonder what people would do without cats? Wither away and die, I suspect. - I wonder what cats would do without people? who'd change our kitty litter?
14 November 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- Ha, ha. Okay, Odie. - Have a steak. - ZIP! - Oh, very well, Garfield. - Have some bacon and eggs, . SPLAT! -
15 November 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I, Garfield The Cat, resolve to spend the entire week in bed. - Oh sure, the going may get tough at times... - But my sheer will and determination should resist the temptation to get up.
16 November 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Spending a whole week in bed isn't as easy as it looks. - It takes preparation. - Did you bring the party mix, Pooky?
17 November 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Garfield, are you going to stay in bed all week? Yup. - Dinner is on the table. - I think I'm going to cry.
18 November 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Hey, Garfield...figure this one out... - How do you plan to stay in bed all week and yet come to dinner too? -
19 November 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Heh heh. Just look at that. Garfield has his bed and his food. He's in kitty heaven. Cats have such simple pleasures. - -
20 November 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Spending an entire week in bed was fun. - But I crave more variety than that. - Now I think I'll spend an entire week in this easy chair.
21 November 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- - - - - - -
22 November 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
BAT - FWIP FWIP FWIP - I'm beginning to dread mondays.
23 November 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
So I'm stuck in a window blind, big deal. - The pain and humiliation I can handle. - It's losing the air of dignity that kills me.
24 November 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- -
25 November 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I'd cry out for help. - But I couldn't handle that. - Predicaments are embarrassing only when noticed by someone else.
26 November 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I'm going to get you out, Garfield. - But I'd like to do it without hurting the window blind. - It's things like this that let you know where you stand in life.
27 November 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
VOILA! One cat out of the blind! - There's no need to thank me, Garfield. -
28 November 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- FLICK - AYIEEEEE - Z - Z -
29 November 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Here I am, Nermal, the world's cutest kitten! - What makes you think you're so cute? Simple, ALL kittens are cute until they grow into cats and become ugly. - I didn't have to hear that. I tell it like it is, baby cakes.
30 November 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I wonder how Nermal can stay so cute after all these years? - pat pat pat - I thought so. Mud Pack
1 December 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
FOLD FOLD - Can I play too? Sure...grab hold. -
2 December 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
SLEEP ON MY TEDDY BEAR, WILL YOU?! Z - Z - I wish I could do that. Z
3 December 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Garfield, I get the impression you don't like Nermal. - Nonsense. I love Nermal. - I JUST LOVE NERMAL! Uh...uh, Garfield.
4 December 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Hey, Nermal. Wanna race to the front door? - You win. SLAM
5 December 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- - - - - What are you doing back in bed, Garfield? It's not even noon yet. As far as I'm concerned, the day is over.
6 December 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Hey, Garfield. Let's spend today celebrating all that's good in mankind. - Let's do a good deed for a stranger, stop and smell a flower and compliment a friend. - That's a heavy thing to lay on a cat first thing in the morning.
7 December 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
My what a nice looking tie. - What are you? Some kind of weirdo or something? - Some people aren't very nice, are they, Garfield? Welcome to planet earth, Jon.
8 December 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
What's your philosophy of life, Garfield? - All the world's a cookie jar, and all the men and women merely crumbs. - And how do you feel about yourself? - I happen to be one of the chocolate chips.
9 December 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Isn't it a glorious morning, Garfield? Big, fat, hairy deal. - You know, Garfield, I have the feeling you're a cat with a little cynic in you. That's not true! - I'm a cynic with a little cat around me.
10 December 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Maybe Jon's right. Maybe I am to cynical. Maybe the world isn't as stupid as I think. - - Nah.
11 December 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Looking good, Garfield. - You still have it, you rascal. - An active imagination is a good thing.
12 December 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- Time passes slowly on a weekend. - A fly crawls up the wall. - One of those iridescent flies of fall. - Time passes slowly on a weekend. - That's my Jon. He's raised boredom to an art form.
13 December 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Actually, doctor, my cat doesn't need a checkup. - It was just an excuse to see you again. - Garfield! I didn't know you cared. No...me, doc...me.
14 December 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Tell me doc, if we were married, - would you be Mrs. Jon Arbuckle, or doctor Mrs. Jon Arbuckle, or Mrs. doctor Liz Arbuckle, or... - I hate to see a grown doctor cry.
15 December 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
How about a date, Liz? And what do you have in mind? - I'd love to just hold your hand and gaze into your eyes. - I like that. It's amazing the headway you can make when you stop playing games.
16 December 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Tonight I am going to take Liz out SOLO. You are staying home, Garfield. - Where's my favorite tie? - I get to go with you, and the tie lives. What say we double date, old buddy?
17 December 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Good evening, Liz. I have a wonderful time planned for us. - We'll have dinner, go to a movie, and many more things too numerous to mention. - You brought the cat. That was one of the unmentionables.
18 December 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Thank you for a lovely date, Jon. - kiss - Yah tah tah tah, yah tah tah tah Human love...it's so glandular.
19 December 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
- Huh, now where could the birds be? - I was looking forward to a mid-morning snack. - They must be elsewhere. - I guess I'll check back later. - GASP!
20 December 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I'm the kind of person who must see something to believe it. - - Yup, Newton was right.
21 December 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Oh no! Pooky! Where's your eye? - Don't worry, old buddy. I'll get you fixed up. - There's nothing more pathetic than a teddy bear with no depth perception.
22 December 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
What would you like for Christmas, Garfield? World peace. - - Seriously though. - How about another button for Pooky here?
23 December 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
And here's something for jolly old Saint Nick. - - Ho ho ho.
24 December 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Christmas spirit... - It's not the giving. It's not the receiving. - It's the loving. Merry Christmas.
25 December 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
What a nice Christmas. I got an eye for my teddy bear, sand for my sandbox, and a new blanket. - This is what happiness is all about... - Security.
26 December 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Jon's mother certainly knows how to humiliate a guy. - This unraveled thread should be my ticket out of this sweater. - - - FREE! I'm FREE! - click click click Aw, mom.
27 December 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I wonder what today is? - I'm putting you on a diet today, Garfield. - Hellooo, Monday.
28 December 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Garfield! You can't eat that candy. It's too fattening. - - How many calories can it have for 59 cents?
29 December 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
I've discovered the secret to dieting with no discomfort. - Don't move a muscle. - Eat no calories, burn no calories.
30 December 1981

		» 1 January 1981 »
Congratulations, Jon. Your cat has just made dieting medical history. How so? - He's suffering from sugar withdrawal... - And grease withdrawal, and starch withdrawal... And withdrawal withdrawal...
31 December 1981

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