Doctor, I'm afraid my cat is having a nervous breakdown. Z Breakdown, maybe...nervous, no.
1 October 1981
I've psychoanalyzed your cat, Mr. Arbuckle... He's just fine. Great! It's good to know you're normal, Garfield. My friends call me moon unit.
2 October 1981
I'm glad you passed your psychological examination, Garfield. Isn't it great to know you're normal like everyone else? FWEEE
3 October 1981
4 October 1981
I hate Monday...it marks the beginning of a long week of drudgery with no end in sight. And I don't even have a job. I'm just a social chameleon.
5 October 1981
Here comes Arlene. One look from those dewy eyes turns me into jelly. I'd go to the ends of the earth for her. Touch my teddy bear and you'll be picking those false eyelashes off the ceiling, lady.
6 October 1981
RRRRR I thought you asked me to dinner. Old habits are hard to break.
7 October 1981
I love those pointy little ears of yours and those luscious ruby red lips. And I love listening to the melodic strains of the wind whistling through the gap between your front teeth. You went one to far, fella. You're cute when you'reangry.
8 October 1981
You know, Arlene, you are the second most beautiful cat I've ever met. Who is she? "Who is she?" she asks.
9 October 1981
Let's go mousing. You go ahead. How about a good night kiss? Forget it. Lips that touch mice will never touch mine.
10 October 1981
Here, catch, Garfield. Good boy! I think I hear the paperboy. Now I'm going to catch the morning paper. Stupid weekend edition.
11 October 1981
Okay, Mr. Cat. You caught me. Go ahead and eat me. Don't worry about the fact I have seven kids at home. I'm not going to eat you. Go home. To seven screaming kids? What kind of monster are you?
12 October 1981
I hear mice spread filth and disease. Do you believe everything you hear? Yes. I hear swinging a dead cat over your head by the full moon at midnight brings good luck. Touche.
13 October 1981
Tell me, mouse, what do you do for a living? I pose for anti-vermin posters. A cute mouse like you? That's very good.
14 October 1981
15 October 1981
GARFIELD! A MOUSE! urp You're making me look bad, mouse. I'm too full to run.
16 October 1981
Why don't we run out there and eat all the food? My owner won't let us. Then let's kill him. It is not wise to rub out the hand that feeds you. Can I nibble the toes out of his sweat socks?
17 October 1981
You know, some foods are funnier than others. Beets are funny. Liver...not funny. Prunes are funny, potatoes aren't. Chicken, now, that's funny. How about pickles and kumquats for lunch, Garfield? WAH HA HA!
18 October 1981
FOOM! You know it's Monday when you discover a land mine in your breakfast.
19 October 1981
Cats have extraordinary powers of perception. I sense an evil presence in this room. Make that a STUPID presence.
20 October 1981
pick pick pick pick Well, well, What have we here? Call it a nervous habit. pick
21 October 1981
scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch Timber.
22 October 1981
I wouldn't say you're fat, Garfield, but if you went on a diet, two underdeveloped nations would have enough to eat. 5-4-3-2-1 -
23 October 1981
click ARRGH! Sorry, Garfield. I wish you'd warn me
24 October 1981
AROOOOOO EROWRRR SHUT UP, STUPID CAT ROWRRR EITHER CLOSE YOUR MOUTH OR I'LL CLOSE IT FOR YOU. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Dictionary
25 October 1981
Z Z Z
26 October 1981
Z * You know it's Monday when wake up and it's Tuesday.
27 October 1981
One step closer and I'll put that tongue in a splint. You gotta speak their language.
28 October 1981
Some people say I'm mean, but they never knew my uncle Nick. He used to eat whole chickens. But uncle Nick wasn't very bright. One day he jumped an ostrich by mistake. His last words were: "That's the biggest chicken I ever saw."
29 October 1981
I'm stuck! I may have to spend the rest of my life in bed! POP! Darn.
30 October 1981
Oboy, what a night. Don't press it, Garfield.
31 October 1981