Doctor, I'm afraid my cat is having a nervous breakdown. - Z - Breakdown, maybe...nervous, no.
1 October 1981
I've psychoanalyzed your cat, Mr. Arbuckle... - He's just fine. Great! - It's good to know you're normal, Garfield. My friends call me moon unit.
2 October 1981
I'm glad you passed your psychological examination, Garfield. Isn't it great to know you're normal like everyone else? - - FWEEE
3 October 1981
dial dial dial - Hello, Joe's Garage? Can you look at my car? - I'd like to bring him in for a checkup. But I just had one. - You'd better flush out his system... - Tighten his hoses. - Replace all the worn parts. - Oh yes, and have him
4 October 1981
I hate Monday...it marks the beginning of a long week of drudgery with no end in sight. - And I don't even have a job. - I'm just a social chameleon.
5 October 1981
Here comes Arlene. One look from those dewy eyes turns me into jelly. I'd go to the ends of the earth for her. - - Touch my teddy bear and you'll be picking those false eyelashes off the ceiling, lady.
6 October 1981
- RRRRR - I thought you asked me to dinner. Old habits are hard to break.
7 October 1981
I love those pointy little ears of yours and those luscious ruby red lips. - And I love listening to the melodic strains of the wind whistling through the gap between your front teeth. - You went one to far, fella. You're cute when you're
8 October 1981
You know, Arlene, you are the second most beautiful cat I've ever met. - Who is she? - "Who is she?" she asks.
9 October 1981
Let's go mousing. You go ahead. - How about a good night kiss? Forget it. - Lips that touch mice will never touch mine.
10 October 1981
- Here, catch, Garfield. - - Good boy! - I think I hear the paperboy. - Now I'm going to catch the morning paper. - - Stupid weekend edition.
11 October 1981
- Okay, Mr. Cat. You caught me. Go ahead and eat me. Don't worry about the fact I have seven kids at home. - I'm not going to eat you. Go home. To seven screaming kids? What kind of monster are you?
12 October 1981
I hear mice spread filth and disease. - Do you believe everything you hear? Yes. - I hear swinging a dead cat over your head by the full moon at midnight brings good luck. Touche.
13 October 1981
Tell me, mouse, what do you do for a living? - I pose for anti-vermin posters. A cute mouse like you? - That's very good.
14 October 1981
Look, cat, you need a reason to be kept here and I need food. I'll show up infront of your owner and you chase me off. You'll have a job and I'll have a place to live. - Won't Jon get suspicious when I keep chasing the same mouse? - I'll wear
15 October 1981
GARFIELD! A MOUSE! urp - - You're making me look bad, mouse. I'm too full to run.
16 October 1981
Why don't we run out there and eat all the food? My owner won't let us. - Then let's kill him. - It is not wise to rub out the hand that feeds you. Can I nibble the toes out of his sweat socks?
17 October 1981
- You know, some foods are funnier than others. - Beets are funny. - Liver...not funny. - Prunes are funny, potatoes aren't. - Chicken, now, that's funny. - How about pickles and kumquats for lunch, Garfield? - WAH HA HA!
18 October 1981
- FOOM! - You know it's Monday when you discover a land mine in your breakfast.
19 October 1981
Cats have extraordinary powers of perception. I sense an evil presence in this room. - - Make that a STUPID presence.
20 October 1981
pick pick - pick pick - Well, well, What have we here? Call it a nervous habit. pick
21 October 1981
scratch scratch scratch - scratch scratch - Timber.
22 October 1981
I wouldn't say you're fat, Garfield, but if you went on a diet, two underdeveloped nations would have enough to eat. - 5-4-3-2-1- -
23 October 1981
- click ARRGH! - Sorry, Garfield. I wish you'd warn me
24 October 1981
AROOOOOO - EROWRRR SHUT UP, STUPID CAT - ROWRRR EITHER CLOSE YOUR MOUTH OR I'LL CLOSE IT FOR YOU. - - Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. - Dictionary
25 October 1981
Z - Z - Z
26 October 1981
Z - * - You know it's Monday when wake up and it's Tuesday.
27 October 1981
- One step closer and I'll put that tongue in a splint. - You gotta speak their language.
28 October 1981
Some people say I'm mean, but they never knew my uncle Nick. He used to eat whole chickens. - But uncle Nick wasn't very bright. One day he jumped an ostrich by mistake. - His last words were: "That's the biggest chicken I ever saw."
29 October 1981
I'm stuck! I may have to spend the rest of my life in bed! - POP! - Darn.
30 October 1981
Oboy, what a night. - Don't press it, Garfield.
31 October 1981