I declare this chair the sole property of Garfield The Cat. Move it, Garfield. That's my chair. My chair. MY CHAIR! MY CHAIR! MY CHAIR! MY CHAIR! KICK! My chair. My cushion.
1 March 1981
GRRR ROWR EYOUCH! One should not bare one's claws while lying on them.
2 March 1981
Claws. THOCK! The only way to eat olives.
3 March 1981
What's this welling up within my soul? By golly, it's my primal urges. Civilization as we know it may come to an end now that the CLAW is here!
4 March 1981
The Claw spots groceries. ZIP! What a lousy epitaph..."he shuffled off this mortal oil at the hand of canned goods".
5 March 1981
he Claw spots boy with balloon. POW! The claw enjoys a cruel laugh at a young child's expense. WAH!
6 March 1981
The Claw sets out to wreak havoc. CRASH BAM SMASH WHAM The claw gets his havoc wreaked by the fang.
7 March 1981
Poor me. All alone in the rain...nobody notices, nobody cares. I think I'll catch pneumonia and die. That'll make'm feel bad. GARFIELD! GET IN HERE! Everyone needs a good bout with self-pity now and then.
8 March 1981
I'm putting you into training, Garfield. CATCH THE MOUSE! KILL THE MOUSE! CHASE IT! I'm disappointed in you. You're just another dumb animal. If I wait for the forward thrust to diminish, I should be able to retrieve it at my leisure.
9 March 1981
Garfield, where's your windup mousie? You didn't...? No of course you didn't. ptooey
10 March 1981
GET THAT MOUSE, GARFIELD! What mouse? Squeak I KNOW IT'S THERE. I HEAR IT SQUEAK, NOW DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Squeak koink koink koink
11 March 1981
CATCH THAT MOUSE, GARFIELD! Now what do I do with it? Eat it! Who knows where that mouse has been?
12 March 1981
Why do people expect us cats to eat mice? This mouse could be somebody's mother. This mouse could be a deacon in its little mouse church. And some of the fuzzy sucker's bones might get caught in my throat.
13 March 1981
KILL THE MOUSE, GARFIELD! NO! I RESPECT MY WARMBLOODED BROTHERS AND SISTERS MORE THAN THAT! I'll reserve my abuse for the lower life forms.
14 March 1981
Cats can stare anything down. I win. I win again. Uh oh. This one's going to be tough.
15 March 1981
Oh Marcia. Oh Bob. kissy kissy smooch It's time Jon had another date. kiss
16 March 1981
It's time to go to the veterinary clinic, Garfield. Sometimes I think Jon uses me as an excuse to see that lady vet. SLAM Especially when he forgets to take me along.
17 March 1981
Hellooo, doc. Remember me? Where's your cat? Forget my cat. Can't we get started without him? Sure. First a vitamin E shot to give your coat a keener sheen. I'll get my cat.
18 March 1981
How a bout a date, my little kitten? I don't date men who who use animal names out of context. Rats.
19 March 1981
Why don't you like me? You're wishy-washy, crude, and a twerp. I mean aside from that.
20 March 1981
Your cat is extremely overweight, Mr. Arbuckle. It could lead to serious heart problems. Not to worry. I don't think Garfield has a heart. See?!
21 March 1981
I'm going to jog this morning. Of course, it will be cold when I start. But then I'll get hot and sweaty. And my heart will pound, making me dizzy. I'll get blisters on my feet. Then I'll be stiff and sore for days. Joggingprobably wouldn't be so bad. Bu
22 March 1981
I wonder what today is? BONK! Monday.
23 March 1981
There are two of us and only one donut, Garfield. Let's share it. Where's my share? Look closely. I left the hole for you.
24 March 1981
bark! bark! bark! I fail to see the sport in it.
25 March 1981
Ah, a screen door upon which to hang. They don't make'm like they used to.
26 March 1981
Hello. What's this? Don't panic, Garfield. It's only a little rain. AAAAAAAAAAAAA
27 March 1981
I love lasagna fresh from the oven: the tomato sauce, the meat, the melted cheese. GARFIELD!
28 March 1981
I', going out, Garfield. The women will be hysterical over me. The outfit's hysterical. What do you think about my attire? It could use some alteration. Let's tuck that tie in and add some vents to the sleeves. A smart cat knows justhow far to go without
29 March 1981
Just remember, Garfield, when we get to the farm you are there to relax. I know last time you wanted to be helpful... But you do not grow chickens by planting chickens in the ground! It was an hones mistake.
30 March 1981
Mothers equate love with food. When they feed you they're saying, "I love you". Eat, eat, eat. And I love you, too.
31 March 1981