The light bulb's burned out. Don't worry about me, I'll just sit here in the dark going blind. I'll fix it. He's such a good boy.
1 April 1981
When I was your age I was married and had a kid. Yeh, me! Good argument, son. But I still think you should get married.
2 April 1981
Now that the sun has set, we come to the exciting part. We turn around to watch the moon rise. Be still my beating heart.
3 April 1981
It IS kind of pretty out here on the farm. chirp chirp Walt Disney, eat your heart out.
4 April 1981
Uh oh. I'll never make it across that sunbeam awake. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Z poomp! Come on , Garfield, let's go for a walk. Z Z Z
5 April 1981
You're getting a little pudgy there, Garfield. Maybe you'd be more attractive to the ladies if you'd suck your gut in. And then again, maybe not.
6 April 1981
Here comes Arlene. She's crazy about me. Buenos dias, mon sweet. I knew you'd come back to me. Of course you did, fatso. You're sitting on my rubber mouse.
7 April 1981
Tell me, Arlene, how does it feel to have a huge, ugly, disgusting gap between your front teeth? BAP! Oh.
8 April 1981
ROWR OOOO Why do cats always caterwaul when they date? Would you rather come to my place and see my cat show trophy? EROOO
9 April 1981
How about us having a lasting relationship, Garfield? I'm sorry, Arlene. I'm already hopelessly in love with somebody else. Who? Me.
10 April 1981
Thanks for the date, Arlene. How about a good night kiss? kiss kiss smack kiss Masher.
11 April 1981
Aren't pet stores fascinating, Garfield? The cute hamsters, the canaries, the tropical fish. Garfield? GARFIELD?!! Oh, there you are. Come on, let's go home for lunch. No thanks, I just ate.
12 April 1981
Where were you last night, Garfield? You met a ballet dancer and went to a sack race? Close enough.
13 April 1981
Z BARK! -
14 April 1981
yip! yip! YIP! YIP! -
15 April 1981
If there is such a thing as reincarnation, I'd like to come back as a movie star. What would you like to come back as, Garfield? What a silly question. A dogcatcher, of course.
16 April 1981
Mornin', Jon. What'll you have? Ham'n'eggs, eggs over easy. And what'll you have, sir? One of each will do nicely, thank you.
17 April 1981
Garfield. Cats can't walk on their hind feet. I didn't know that. -
18 April 1981
dial dial Hello, Ingrid? How about a date this weekend? Okay...then how about next weekend? How about the weekend after that? Maybe the weekend after that? Or the weekend after that? The next one? How about the weekend after that? -Look Ingrid, if you don
19 April 1981
The moon is right. The time is right. Good evening, ladies and germs. A funny thing happened on the way here tonight...
20 April 1981
A canary walks up to me the other day and he says, "I haven't had a bite in three days." So you know what I did? I ate him! Yah dah dah dah dah dah tappity tappity tappity
21 April 1981
O solo MEYOW I know you're out there. I can hear you breathing.
22 April 1981
My next song is for all you lovely ladies out there. Heck with it. This is for you ugly ones, too. BAP! BOP! BAP!
23 April 1981
AROOOO THOCK! Ha ha! I was prepared this time. KACHUNG!
24 April 1981
Take my dog...please. What's that? HOOK!
25 April 1981
BRING! Good morning, Garfield. Here's your yummy breakfast. SPLAT! Yuk. scratch RIP! scratch Chirp chirp EEEEEK! Just another day in the life of a typical cat.
26 April 1981
Why were cats placed upon this earth? Why, to give people pleasure. And to give dogs a hard way to go. SMACK!
27 April 1981
There's nothing like a steaming cup of coffee and a newspaper to get the day started. I'd enjoy it even more if I could read.
28 April 1981
29 April 1981
Once again I venture into the wilderness in search of quarry. I spot my prey, but I must make a clean kill. Hamburgers can be vicious if they're only wounded.
30 April 1981