1 July 1981
Dear Garfield, How do I avoid the embarrassment of cat hair all over my house when I have company? Harried. Simple. Never invite anyone to your home again.
2 July 1981
I love sunny windowsills. And I hate open windows.
3 July 1981
Stay away from rocking chairs. Sound advice.
4 July 1981
Oh yuk! What did you drag that fish in for? SMACK! BONK! When a cat presents you with a dead, smelly thing, it's an expression of love, you twit.
5 July 1981
Here's a lesson in the natural order of things. Cats use claws to climb up trees. And fire departments to get down.
6 July 1981
What does Garfield the cat do when he's stuck up a tree? Why what any honorable cat would do, of course. WAHHH!
7 July 1981
I'm getting out of this tree. BOING! I didn't allow for my resilient nature.
8 July 1981
Poor me..stuck up a tree. Things could be worse, I guess. -
9 July 1981
Why do I always get stuck up trees? It must be the cat in me. Right on.
10 July 1981
Come here, cat. ROWR! ROWR FFT! Here you are, cat. kiss Thanks.
11 July 1981
Oh good, it's here. This rubber burger should be good for some laughs. CHOMP! SPROING! ROWR! Hee hee. GRRRR HA! HA! HA! It was worth it.
12 July 1981
You could've asked me to pass the salt. Cats don't ask. Cats take.
13 July 1981
Just look at yourself, Garfield. You're becoming a soft, sugar dependent, grease-eating lard ball. Is that what you want? YES! Let me rephrase that...
14 July 1981
Some people say I'm fat. Big deal, I love to eat. Waddling and sweating is kind of fun too.
15 July 1981
BASH! Good morning, fatso. All I did was jump off the bed.
16 July 1981
It isn't healthy for a cat to be as big as you are, Garfield. Why, you could get heart disease, get fallen arches... Get harpooned. Couldn't resist it could you.
17 July 1981
CRASH Maybe I should go on diet.
18 July 1981
Let me give you a driving session, Garfield. When you're as good a driver as I am, you drive defensively. You look both ways at an intersection. Then you proceed with caution. HONK! SCREEEE! Darn you, Garfield. I'm such a kidder.
19 July 1981
I think you're eating too much salt, Garfield. I'm going to take it out of your diet. If you must. But I'm sure going to miss my salt lick.
20 July 1981
I'm putting you on a diet, Garfield. OH NO! I may have to resort to desperate emergency measures. Like chasing mice.
21 July 1981
I'm going to start you on your diet slowly, Garfield. For the rest of the week you may have no desserts. Fine and dandy. Helloooo, main course.
22 July 1981
Hello, ice cream. Hello, hamburger. Hello, lasagna. Get away from the refrigerator, Garfield. You're on a diet. What were you doing? Just visiting some old friends.
23 July 1981
I'm on a diet again. What a bummer. Soon there will be less of me around. I'm going to miss me.
24 July 1981
The lost-your-will-to-live phase of the diet, huh? Let me die in peace.
25 July 1981
Going to do some singing on the ol' fence tonight? Music is my life.
26 July 1981
Hello. What's this? I hate mondays.
27 July 1981
Garfield, Garfield, Garfield. You ate my fern. I'm a bad boy. Now I'll have to go buy another one. I hope it tastes better than this one.
28 July 1981
29 July 1981
Good morning, Garfield. Don't speak to me just yet. Some people have no respect for slow risers.
30 July 1981
In the flower garden again, Garfield? How'd you guess?
31 July 1981