Do you know what this country needs? More dog pounds. - Anti-dog mines around fire hydrants! Dog hunting season! Dog traps! - Relax, Garfield. You're going to burst something. Why, millions could be saved on carpet cleaning bills alone.
1 August 1981
* - Garfield, lasagna! - - - I waxed the table today. When my bones knit, you are a dead man.
2 August 1981
- - You know it's Monday when you find sharks circling in your water bowl.
3 August 1981
I'm in the mood for a good fight, but I am personally opposed to senseless violence. - PUNT! - That's for not being a cat.
4 August 1981
Hey look, Garfield. This is my impression of a bowling ball. - SHOOP! - That was my impression of a vacuum cleaner.
5 August 1981
I feel like getting into a big fight today. - - Now I feel like holing up somewhere to whimper for a while.
6 August 1981
What do you want to do tonight, Garfield? Do you want to go jogging? Go to a movie? Play miniature golf. - Or would you rather go eat? - Natch.
7 August 1981
Do you take your cat everywhere? - Yes, we do everything together, my dear. - Except make passes at ugly waitresses.
8 August 1981
Here it comes, folks. - Tah-dah! - - Lasagna anyone? I'll pass. Nope. I'm on a diet. I think I'll wait for dessert. I just ate.
9 August 1981
I wonder where I should go on vacation. - Maybe France or Spain... - Or Mexico.
10 August 1981
Garfield, I've decided to take a vacation. Great! When do we leave? - I don't think you understand. I said "I", not "we". - Say you're just kidding. I think you understand.
11 August 1981
I can't believe Jon's not taking me on vacation. - Cats need vacations too. - All this eating and sleeping can wear a guy down.
12 August 1981
Aunt Gussie, would you take care of my cat while I'm gone on vacation? ...terrific! - You know aunt Gussie, Garfield. She's a sweet old lady. - How can you say that about someone who used to double date with Lizzie Borden?
13 August 1981
Garfield, meet aunt Gussie. - I'm tickled pink to meet you. - And you can color me unimpressed.
14 August 1981
While I'm gone take good care of Garfield. - And keep a close eye on him. He gets a lot of mischief. - Have fun, Garfield. Garfield?
15 August 1981
- pat pat pat - - POOMP! - I would have had to eat him to save face.
16 August 1981
Stowing away in Jon's suitcase is thirsty work. - GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK - Even after shave lotion tastes good if you're dry enough.
17 August 1981
Look out, sunny beaches. - Here comes Don Juan. - And his sidekick, Lawrence of Boxer Shorts.
18 August 1981
I can't believe you stowed away in my suitcase, Garfield. - I'll bet you don't even know where we are. - A tourist trap would be a safe assumption.
19 August 1981
That's the trouble with vacation spots. - This hamburger is terrible! - What do you expect for a lousy $23,50?
20 August 1981
This is the life, Garfield. - You know you're on vacation when you see women in bikinis, hibiscus blossoms in the pool... - And la cucarachas in the sock drawer.
21 August 1981
Pardon me...I believe I dropped my nobel peace prize around here somewhere. Beat it, crap. - -
22 August 1981
23 August 1981
Hey, Garfield. It says here they are holding auditions for a cat food commercial. - Would you be interested? - Have my agent give the script a look-see.
24 August 1981
To win the cat food commercial audition you'll have to be a convincing eater. - Can you handle that? Are you kidding? - When it comes to eating, I'm a genius.
25 August 1981
Imagine me doing a cat food commercial. - Next there'll be the movie offers, the screaming fans, the limousines... - Belly, you and I are going places.
26 August 1981
Is this where my cat auditions for the cat food commercial? Yeh. - Hey, Larry. Break out the wide-angle lens. - If I don't get the part, the director is going to be sporting those shades up his right nostril.
27 August 1981
Okay, food commercial audition take one, action! That stuff looks awful. - CUT! - You're supposed to eat it, cat. What's my motivation`
28 August 1981
Okay, cat food commercial audition take two, action! - Yuk! - Mmph grp bruf What's the director saying, Garfield? Loosely translated, I don't fit the part.
29 August 1981
- Good morning, Garfield. - - - SLUP - * Good morning *
30 August 1981
Well, if it isn't Nermal, the Shirley Temple of the feline set. - How's it going, Nermal? Oh, about the same. I'm overadored as usual. -
31 August 1981