Do you know what this country needs? More dog pounds. Anti-dog mines around fire hydrants! Dog hunting season! Dog traps! Relax, Garfield. You're going to burst something. Why, millions could be saved on carpet cleaning bills alone.
1 August 1981
* Garfield, lasagna! I waxed the table today. When my bones knit, you are a dead man.
2 August 1981
You know it's Monday when you find sharks circling in your water bowl.
3 August 1981
I'm in the mood for a good fight, but I am personally opposed to senseless violence. PUNT! That's for not being a cat.
4 August 1981
Hey look, Garfield. This is my impression of a bowling ball. SHOOP! That was my impression of a vacuum cleaner.
5 August 1981
I feel like getting into a big fight today. Now I feel like holing up somewhere to whimper for a while.
6 August 1981
What do you want to do tonight, Garfield? Do you want to go jogging? Go to a movie? Play miniature golf. Or would you rather go eat? Natch.
7 August 1981
Do you take your cat everywhere? Yes, we do everything together, my dear. Except make passes at ugly waitresses.
8 August 1981
Here it comes, folks. Tah-dah! Lasagna anyone? I'll pass. Nope. I'm on a diet. I think I'll wait for dessert. I just ate.
9 August 1981
I wonder where I should go on vacation. Maybe France or Spain... Or Mexico.
10 August 1981
Garfield, I've decided to take a vacation. Great! When do we leave? I don't think you understand. I said "I", not "we". Say you're just kidding. I think you understand.
11 August 1981
I can't believe Jon's not taking me on vacation. Cats need vacations too. All this eating and sleeping can wear a guy down.
12 August 1981
Aunt Gussie, would you take care of my cat while I'm gone on vacation? ...terrific! You know aunt Gussie, Garfield. She's a sweet old lady. How can you say that about someone who used to double date with Lizzie Borden?
13 August 1981
Garfield, meet aunt Gussie. I'm tickled pink to meet you. And you can color me unimpressed.
14 August 1981
While I'm gone take good care of Garfield. And keep a close eye on him. He gets a lot of mischief. Have fun, Garfield. Garfield?
15 August 1981
pat pat pat POOMP! I would have had to eat him to save face.
16 August 1981
Stowing away in Jon's suitcase is thirsty work. GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK Even after shave lotion tastes good if you're dry enough.
17 August 1981
Look out, sunny beaches. Here comes Don Juan. And his sidekick, Lawrence of Boxer Shorts.
18 August 1981
I can't believe you stowed away in my suitcase, Garfield. I'll bet you don't even know where we are. A tourist trap would be a safe assumption.
19 August 1981
That's the trouble with vacation spots. This hamburger is terrible! What do you expect for a lousy $23,50?
20 August 1981
This is the life, Garfield. You know you're on vacation when you see women in bikinis, hibiscus blossoms in the pool... And la cucarachas in the sock drawer.
21 August 1981
Pardon me...I believe I dropped my nobel peace prize around here somewhere. Beat it, crap. -
22 August 1981
Hey, Garfield, guess what? The dog next door is being given a birthday party today. This brick should make a spiffy gift. BONK! YIP! YIP! Happy birthday, dog. Hello, doctor? Do you think you could surgically remove my cat from adog?
23 August 1981
Hey, Garfield. It says here they are holding auditions for a cat food commercial. Would you be interested? Have my agent give the script a look-see.
24 August 1981
To win the cat food commercial audition you'll have to be a convincing eater. Can you handle that? Are you kidding? When it comes to eating, I'm a genius.
25 August 1981
Imagine me doing a cat food commercial. Next there'll be the movie offers, the screaming fans, the limousines... Belly, you and I are going places.
26 August 1981
Is this where my cat auditions for the cat food commercial? Yeh. Hey, Larry. Break out the wide-angle lens. If I don't get the part, the director is going to be sporting those shades up his right nostril.
27 August 1981
Okay, food commercial audition take one, action! That stuff looks awful. CUT! You're supposed to eat it, cat. What's my motivation`
28 August 1981
Okay, cat food commercial audition take two, action! Yuk! Mmph grp bruf What's the director saying, Garfield? Loosely translated, I don't fit the part.
29 August 1981
Good morning, Garfield. SLUP * Good morning *
30 August 1981
Well, if it isn't Nermal, the Shirley Temple of the feline set. How's it going, Nermal? Oh, about the same. I'm overadored as usual. -
31 August 1981