We'll be right back after this word from our sponsor. - "Sasquatch" - Welcome back.
1 May 1982
- I just got comfortable, Garfield. Do you ABSOLUTELY have to be let out? - Oh, yes. - Very well, then. - Sucker.
2 May 1982
Guess where we're going, Garfield? To a hayseed convention? - Yesiree, we're gonna see mom and dad on the farm. We're gonna slop the pigs and pluck the chickens, boy howdy. We're gonna have us a time. - That is, if your father doesn't beat
3 May 1982
Mom! - Son! - Son? Mom?
4 May 1982
How have you been, mom? Never mind that. - Here, eat, eat, eat. - You're my kind of woman.
5 May 1982
Then, once the potato is dug up, it is sliced, deep-fried, salted and bagged. voila, you have your potato chip. - I hate knowing where food comes from... - All the magic is gone.
6 May 1982
Hurry up with that hay, son. Supper's waitin' - Son? - Long time, no farm, huh, Jon?
7 May 1982
We had fun visiting the farm, didn't we, Garfield? Speak for yourself, Jon. - It's great getting back to basics, putting your hands in old mother earth. - But I'll never get these fingernails clean. A real man of the land.
8 May 1982
- screeee crunch! - yabba! yabba! yabba! - sock! - Human beings...why do they yell at each other? Why do they hurt each other? - URF! - What do YOU know? WOING!
9 May 1982
Just what is a Monday? - plip - Monday is a day designed to add depression to an otherwise happy week.
10 May 1982
Just what is life? Life is a lot like a hot bath. - It feels good while you're in it. - But the longer you stay...the more wrinkled you get.
11 May 1982
Just what is television? - Television not only gives the eyeballs something to do. - But it's a socially acceptable excuse to snack.
12 May 1982
Just what is a goldfish? - A goldfish is an aquatic expression of beauty and grace that provides its observers with many hours of blissful meditation. - It also makes a darn fine breakfast.
13 May 1982
Just what is a dog? - Let me put it this way... - If a dog were a faucet, it would leak.
14 May 1982
Just what is a cat? A cat is a furry animal, complete with dog nibblers and furniture shredders. - HACK! - The hairballs in the throat are also standard equipment.
15 May 1982
- - SPLAT! - - - SPLOOSH - Why is it cats chase butterflies? Is it instinct, or is it just stupidity? - - Probably stupidity.
16 May 1982
YAWN - - What happened to you? I got up on the wrong side of the bed.
17 May 1982
- CHUG! - You're a real bear until you've had your first cup of coffee, aren't you? And then I'm the sweetest so-and-so around.
18 May 1982
Let's go for a walk, Garfield. I'm not going for a walk. - You're going for a walk. I'm not going for a walk. - YOU'RE GOING FOR A WALK IF I HAVE TO CARRY YOU! I can't argue with that logic.
19 May 1982
You really should think about jogging, Garfield. It's 50% mental, you know. It is? - GREAT! - Jog, jog, jog, jog, jog, jog, pant, pant, sweat. - I'll work on the other 50% some other time.
20 May 1982
I'll cut the lasagna in two pieces, and you take first pick. - - It's getting cold, Garfield.
21 May 1982
- - They don't make trees like they used to.
22 May 1982
* - (click) EEEEEEEE! - (click) You know, pleasure motors. - (click) - (click) Hi yuh, kids! - PIC A STATION AND STAY WITH IT, GARFIELD. click!
23 May 1982
- blut blut blut blut blut - When are you going to learn to control that temper of yours, Garfield? The exact same instant they invent an easy pouring catsup.
24 May 1982
Any cat can use a bottle opener. - But it takes a real man to use his teeth. - A real STUPID man.
25 May 1982
What are you planting, Garfield? - - Birdseed?
26 May 1982
ODIE! CUT THAT OUT! OWOOO - AROOO - EROOW
27 May 1982
- What this dog needs is a poomp. - POOMP
28 May 1982
ROW!! - EROOOO - Good morning, Garfield. I'm sorry. Did I wake you?
29 May 1982
- - - SNAP - - BLAT! - Is it windy out, Garfield? Not so you'd notice.
30 May 1982
31 May 1982