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1 May 1982
I just got comfortable, Garfield. Do you ABSOLUTELY have to be let out? Oh, yes. Very well, then. Sucker.
2 May 1982
Guess where we're going, Garfield? To a hayseed convention? Yesiree, we're gonna see mom and dad on the farm. We're gonna slop the pigs and pluck the chickens, boy howdy. We're gonna have us a time. That is, if your father doesn't beatthe heck out of you
3 May 1982
Mom! Son! Son? Mom?
4 May 1982
How have you been, mom? Never mind that. Here, eat, eat, eat. You're my kind of woman.
5 May 1982
Then, once the potato is dug up, it is sliced, deep-fried, salted and bagged. voila, you have your potato chip. I hate knowing where food comes from... All the magic is gone.
6 May 1982
Hurry up with that hay, son. Supper's waitin' Son? Long time, no farm, huh, Jon?
7 May 1982
We had fun visiting the farm, didn't we, Garfield? Speak for yourself, Jon. It's great getting back to basics, putting your hands in old mother earth. But I'll never get these fingernails clean. A real man of the land.
8 May 1982
screeee crunch! yabba! yabba! yabba! sock! Human beings...why do they yell at each other? Why do they hurt each other? URF! What do YOU know? WOING!
9 May 1982
Just what is a Monday? plip Monday is a day designed to add depression to an otherwise happy week.
10 May 1982
Just what is life? Life is a lot like a hot bath. It feels good while you're in it. But the longer you stay...the more wrinkled you get.
11 May 1982
Just what is television? Television not only gives the eyeballs something to do. But it's a socially acceptable excuse to snack.
12 May 1982
Just what is a goldfish? A goldfish is an aquatic expression of beauty and grace that provides its observers with many hours of blissful meditation. It also makes a darn fine breakfast.
13 May 1982
Just what is a dog? Let me put it this way... If a dog were a faucet, it would leak.
14 May 1982
Just what is a cat? A cat is a furry animal, complete with dog nibblers and furniture shredders. HACK! The hairballs in the throat are also standard equipment.
15 May 1982
SPLAT! SPLOOSH Why is it cats chase butterflies? Is it instinct, or is it just stupidity? Probably stupidity.
16 May 1982
YAWN What happened to you? I got up on the wrong side of the bed.
17 May 1982
CHUG! You're a real bear until you've had your first cup of coffee, aren't you? And then I'm the sweetest so-and-so around.
18 May 1982
Let's go for a walk, Garfield. I'm not going for a walk. You're going for a walk. I'm not going for a walk. YOU'RE GOING FOR A WALK IF I HAVE TO CARRY YOU! I can't argue with that logic.
19 May 1982
You really should think about jogging, Garfield. It's 50% mental, you know. It is? GREAT! Jog, jog, jog, jog, jog, jog, pant, pant, sweat. I'll work on the other 50% some other time.
20 May 1982
I'll cut the lasagna in two pieces, and you take first pick. It's getting cold, Garfield.
21 May 1982
They don't make trees like they used to.
22 May 1982
* (click) EEEEEEEE! (click) You know, pleasure motors. (click) (click) Hi yuh, kids! PIC A STATION AND STAY WITH IT, GARFIELD. click!
23 May 1982
blut blut blut blut blut When are you going to learn to control that temper of yours, Garfield? The exact same instant they invent an easy pouring catsup.
24 May 1982
Any cat can use a bottle opener. But it takes a real man to use his teeth. A real STUPID man.
25 May 1982
What are you planting, Garfield? Birdseed?
26 May 1982
ODIE! CUT THAT OUT! OWOOO AROOO EROOW
27 May 1982
What this dog needs is a poomp. POOMP
28 May 1982
ROW!! EROOOO Good morning, Garfield. I'm sorry. Did I wake you?
29 May 1982
SNAP BLAT! Is it windy out, Garfield? Not so you'd notice.
30 May 1982
31 May 1982