YAWN I hate to eat alone.
1 August 1982
I hate Monday...something bad always happens to me on Monday. It's just a matter of time now... The suspense is killing me. DO IT TO ME NOW, MONDAY! GET IT OVER WITH!
2 August 1982
Life is like a poker game. If you don't win... You lose.
3 August 1982
YAWN twang twang Have you ever awakened with a whisker you just couldn't do anything with?
4 August 1982
BARK I hate dogs.
5 August 1982
It's dinner time, Garfield. GARFIEEELD BONG! BONG! BONG! You rang?
6 August 1982
I wonder what this machine is. click whirrrr ZIP SPLAT It's obviously some sort of cat torture device.
7 August 1982
8 August 1982
Hmmm. A hollow stump with a thing in it...I gotta find out what it is. rrrr RRRRRRR Tuesday.
9 August 1982
Even though "curiosity killed the cat" is just a silly superstition, I must know what's in this stump. rrrr ROAR! rip! chomp SNORT! Ha ha ha, silly me.
10 August 1982
I'm going to give that thing in the stump a taste of this rock. Munch, munch, ptooey! I didn't know stones had bones. burp
11 August 1982
All right, whatever you are, come out of there! rrrr You? A mouse was making all that noise? This stump has really great acoustics.
12 August 1982
I can't believe you were the thing in the stump that's been scaring me all week. Why, I'm gonna... Down, Guido, down.
13 August 1982
I've learned my lesson. I'm not messing with things in hollow stumps again. rrrr I'm going home where it's safe. rrrr rrr Oh, no.
14 August 1982
It's show time! Some day I'm gonna be the greatest caterwauler in the world. They're gonna call me "Cats Wauler". ROWR! CHUKONG! AROOO WHOCK! Why do you do it, Garfield? Dues. I'm just paying my dues.
15 August 1982
crunch crunch crunch I know you're hungry, Garfield. crunch crunch But what say I boil that spaghetti first? It is a tad firm.
16 August 1982
I'll see you later, Garfield. I'm going to the supermarket. Let's see...I have my shopping list, my keys... Don't forget your shopping bag.
17 August 1982
Supermarkets are like a giant United Nations of Food. You have coffee from Brazil, cheese from France, beef from Australia... And lasagna from heaven.
18 August 1982
One frozen lasagna. Two frozen pizzas. One frozen pasta freak.
19 August 1982
Whew! Last trip. GULP! SNORT! RIP! MUNCH DARN YOU, GARFIELD! Now I have to go back to the store. Not on my account, really.
20 August 1982
Oh, boy, do I love food. If I couldn't eat food, I'd just die. Sage, Garfield, sage.
21 August 1982
Holy moley! Here, boy, sniff. CHOMP RRRRRRR Dogs, you can't live with 'em, you can't live without 'em.
22 August 1982
I'm hungry...nah, I'm too tired to be hungry...nah, I'm too depressed to be tired. Yup. It's Monday.
23 August 1982
Rats...I can't shake this deep blue funk I'm in. No doubt about it... This week is gonna be one long Monday.
24 August 1982
Oh boy am I depressed. I'm fat, I'm lazy, nobody likes me... Good morning, ol' buddy. It's another beautiful day. Quiet. I'm on a roll.
25 August 1982
Nobody likes me. What's the matter with you, Garfield? I SAID NOBODY LIKES ME! WHOCK! BONK! Nobody likes me, and nobody listens anymore.
26 August 1982
I'm starting to lose my depression. I gotta do something. Much better.
27 August 1982
I love you, Garfield. Leave me alone. I want to be depressed. Tickle! Tickle! Tickle! Hee hee Feel better, Garfield? I'll get you for this, Jon.
28 August 1982
It seems like I've been lost in this jungle for days with nothing to eat. I'd eat berries, but there's no sugar and cream. Where's a four-star french restaurant when you need one? FOOD! Dr. Livingston, I presume.
29 August 1982
Look out, world! Here comes the caped avenger! Oh, sure, super-hero crime fighters make for an old, overused story line... But have you ever heard of a fat, weak one?
30 August 1982
The caped avenger steps into the seamy underworld and reasserts his noble code. "I will seek out evil wherever it may lurk and destroy it". Unless, of course, there is the slightest possibility of harm to my person.
31 August 1982