POOKY! So much for kicking the teddy bear habit. It's unnatural to be near someone you love and not hold them now and then.
1 October 1983
I don't believe my eyes! I've finally found the perfect skipping stone! The perfect weight, perfectly round and flat, everything. But there are no lakes around here, and it's too far to the river. Darn it! I've got this stone begging tobe skipped and no p
2 October 1983
I hate it when Odie gets caught outside in the rain. Not that I care that much for Odie, mind you. -
3 October 1983
Here's one of the great mysteries of the universe... When Odie closes his mouth, where does his tongue go?
4 October 1983
I wanted to buy you another bed, Garfield. But the only sizes they came in were small, medium and large. They didn't have showboat! A quick wit is best accompanied by quick reflexes.
5 October 1983
I love a well-balanced meal. Something from the four basic food groups... Meat, vegetable, dairy and catsup.
6 October 1983
Garfield should be finding that rubber hot dog in his bowl right about now. And he should be coming for me right about... Now.
7 October 1983
I think I'll have pancakes for breakfast. Once again our nation's criminal element has callously disregarded the truth in packaging laws.
8 October 1983
Ho with a capital hum. I wish I could kick this industrial-strength depression I have today. Mother nature, if you had a body and a face, I'd give you a hug and a kiss.
9 October 1983
Here comes Arlene. She's crazy about me. Hi, Arlene. I said..."Hi, Arlene".
10 October 1983
Hey, Arlene. Guess how much weight I can press. I'll bet you don't know. I'll bet I don't care. Right now I'd trade all this strength for just one snappy comeback.
11 October 1983
Hey, Arlene. Look at this. So what? Just what does it take to impress you, lady? A challenge to my head as well as my heart. As soon as she regains consciousness, I'll challenge the heart part.
12 October 1983
It's my dinnertime, Arlene. But don't despair, I'll be right back. The moments will seem like years till you return. I don't know how she does it... How one well-turned phrase from that woman can suck all the wind out of your sails.
13 October 1983
Arlene, I'm sick of the witmatching mood you're in. Okay, I'll stop it. There's no battle of the intellects here anyway. You're right. It was kind of like swatting a fly with a buick.
14 October 1983
How about a kiss, Arlene? What kind of animal are you? A cat! AUUGH! I did it! I did it! She said, "what kind of animal are you?" and I said, "a cat!"
15 October 1983
Isn't that pathetic? Odie, all you ever do is stare and slobber. You're too happy, and that's not healthy. People don't trust a chronically happy person. Who could possibly love a grinning idiot like this? YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!
16 October 1983
Oh, boy, am I down today. You look down today, Garfield. But I think I'm even downer. I hate one-downmanship.
17 October 1983
I am down...down, down, down, down, down. Down, down, down, dooby doo down, down. Comma, comma, down dooby doo down, down.
18 October 1983
I'm so depressed it's depressing. Tell me about it. I think I'll go out and shoot myself. Sure. You're just trying to cheer me up.
19 October 1983
Why are we so depressed, Garfield? I have this theory. We've been staying up too late, lately. And being happy takes entirely too much energy.
20 October 1983
We've gotta do something about this depression, Garfield. Check. Maybe a change of surroundings would cheer us up. Check. Wrongo. Check
21 October 1983
There's only one way out of this deep blue funk we're in, Garfield. I hate to do it, but it has to be done. I hope it works. Ooch! Eech! Tah-dah! Bingo!
22 October 1983
click HEY! click I was watching "Cheerleader High!. click Well, I'm watching "Wonder Cat"! rip CRASH I was much more passive before I became a wonder cat cadet.
23 October 1983
Hello, folks. I'm here to entertain you! Are you glad to see me? -well, are you? Okay, I can take a hint. Who needs you anyway? I DO!
24 October 1983
I knew a cat who was so ugly, he had to tie a squirrel around his neck to make the dog chase him. BAP! KONK! It's nice to see I'm attracting a crowd with some taste.
25 October 1983
I knew a dog who was really stupid... He was so stupid, when he turned around to lie down, he had to stop to ask directions! I thought that was better than a one-shoe joke.
26 October 1983
What do you get if you cross a cat with a doctor? You get a cat with a low golf handicap. BONK KONG!
27 October 1983
Did you hear the one about the bucktoothed chicken? He...uh, raised a lovely family, was a well-respected member of the community, and led a comfortable life, titty boom.
28 October 1983
Stop me if you've heard this one. SMACK KONG! WHOP! BAP! Let me rephrase that.
29 October 1983
We are nearing the bewitching hour when evil forces well up within me. I love it. EEEK! Gargle snort drool YIP Heh, heh, heh-another fruitful Halloween of scaring kids and dogs. Rats. My mom told me if I made this face too often,it would freeze in this p
30 October 1983
Here's some chicken soup, Garfield. No thanks, I really couldn't. I've never known Garfield to refuse food.
31 October 1983