I'm taking this steak and there's nothing you can do about it, Chipmunk Cheeks. I've always encouraged Garfield to be assertive. But I believe he's crossed the fine line to obnoxious.
1 November 1983
BONK! BONK! BONK! BONK! Odie's going to have to learn to walk one of these ways.
2 November 1983
I wonder what pets do when they don't know their owners are watching. Let's find out. I don't believe it. Neither do I. Odie just drew to an inside straight.
3 November 1983
CLANG! Hey, Garfield, how do you like my new dinner bell? It got my attention.
4 November 1983
Oh no! My legs are turning to jelly! My mind is turning to mush! Could it be a laser? ...a death ray? No! It's... My sunbeam.
5 November 1983
This looks like a good place to sit and muse. What is the thing called life, Odie? Montaigne said, "The value of life lies not in the length of days, but in how we make use of them." Holmes said, "Life is painting a picture, not doing asum.
6 November 1983
Hey, Garfield, we're going to visit aunt Gussie. I know she's old and mean, but underneath she has a heart of gold. I hear she used to double-date with Lizzie Borden.
7 November 1983
Hi, aunt Gussie. Well if this isn't my daydreaming nephew, Jon, and his cat Blubberbutt. Look, rodent breath, if you come within ten feet of my canary, I'll make a doily out of your hide. I like her.
8 November 1983
Why, aunt Gussie! I didn't know you were homecoming queen in 1922. You bet. Back then I had beauty, style, grace, charm... And a body that wouldn't quit!
9 November 1983
How are you getting along financially these days, aunt Gussie? Oh, I have my social security, I make quilts and sell my African violets... And I knock down three hun a week teaching slam dancing at Denny's Pogo Pit.
10 November 1983
What would you like for Christmas, aunt Gussie? Oh...nothing much. Maybe something for my bed like a little lacey throw pillow. Stuffed with John Travolta's chest hair.
11 November 1983
It was nice visiting with you, aunt Gussie. Same here, Jon. And you'd better forget about your crush on John Travolta. He's young enough to be your grandson. DON'T TELL THAT TO MY COMPUTER DATING SERVICE!
12 November 1983
click! Well, look who's in the television set. Garfield is such a clown. Ha-ha-ha. WAH HA HA Wait a minute! Something just occurred to me.
13 November 1983
Look at all those people. All going to work to process food, produce electricity, manufacture kitty litter and so on. All just for me. I'd thank them individually, but they know who they are.
14 November 1983
Odie WHOCK! SPLAT That's for not being a cat.
15 November 1983
I guess I shouldn't have clobbered Odie for not being a cat. If everyone had a choice, we'd all be cats. So I can't blame him for not being a cat. This is for being a dog! punt!
16 November 1983
whirrr glup plop How's your cat food, Garfield? I could say more for the presentation.
17 November 1983
Oh, look, it's one of those things you pull on for service. YANK! Bring me a danish and a cup of coffee.
18 November 1983
Stop playing with your food, Garfield. I'm not. It dried out while my face was in it.
19 November 1983
This looks like a good place for a little nap-nap. click WHIRRR GASP! SPLAT! Hello, mom? The washing machine just spit out my jockey shorts. That's one thing I'd never admit to my mother.
20 November 1983
Here you go, Garfield. Take a big bite. OH NO! Just kidding.
21 November 1983
SLAM! Yo, Garfield! What'cha doing? Casting a critical eye on a career as a doorstep.
22 November 1983
Sitting atop this door, I see all and know all. Now where's that fat cat of mine? Don't take my name in vain. SMACK!
23 November 1983
Perching high on a door gives vent to a cat's philosophical bent. Observing life from an omniscient point of view allows one to witness fascinating human rituals. Like Jon cleaning his ear. squeak squeak
24 November 1983
I wish I knew how to get off this door. Sometimes it would be nice to have all the decisions made for you. SLAM! and sometimes not.
25 November 1983
PLOP Where did you come from, Garfield? Rumor has it the stork brought me.
26 November 1983
They didn't call me the shimmy king for nothing.
27 November 1983
I hate mondays. I can't shake this awful feeling that something dreadful is going to happen to me. I'm saved! It's nice to see a friendly face. You're going to the vet, Garfield. ARRRGH!
28 November 1983
You don't look happy, Garfield. Happy about going to the clinic? Put yourself in my shoes. You get to flirt with the lady vet while I get the business end of her thermometer.
29 November 1983
Did you know I'm a medical curiosity, doc? I'm not surprised. I'm missing a major organ. Your brain? My heart, you've stolen it away. I hate to see a doctor cry.
30 November 1983