is nice, too.
1 May 1983
You're too fat, Garfield. Hang it in your ear. - Oh, shut up, Odie. - Why do I have the feeling there's a conspiracy afoot?
2 May 1983
* - ARRRGH! - It's diet week. It's diet week.
3 May 1983
- I gotta get off this diet. - It's starting to mess with my mind.
4 May 1983
- - Release my hand, Garfield. - You release hamburger, I release hand.
5 May 1983
Suicide, exercise and dieting. - RIP! - Name three forms of self-abuse. True...how true.
6 May 1983
7 May 1983
* - - Oh, no! My watch has stopped! - I've missed Garfield's mealtime. - Pets have a way of letting you know when you've missed their mealtime. - You're late. I know, I know.
8 May 1983
Tell me, Garfield, when you walk, do your right and left legs travel together, or do you use your opposing legs? - - I'll never walk again.
9 May 1983
Z Z Z I wonder how birds can sleep in trees without falling out. - Z Z Z - Z Z Z Aha! ...hammocks.
10 May 1983
This is the only way to spend a sunny afternoon. - All you need is a swimming pool. - And a good imagination.
11 May 1983
I'm going to take a dip in here, so beat it, bird, before I break your beak. - - I have a mouth with a death wish.
12 May 1983
Take my advice. Sun yourself in a pool. You stay cooler that way. - I shall now turn over in order to tan my back. - This is not well thought out.
13 May 1983
As much as I hate to do it... - I'd better get out. - Even my fur is getting wrinkled.
14 May 1983
Look at those stupid dogs. - Yabba yabba yabba. - ROWF! BARK! BARK! - BARK! YIP! BARK! - Go away, dogs. Leave my cat alone. - bbbbbb - You just had to get in the last lick, didn't you, Garfield? Me and my big tongue.
15 May 1983
pie and a hernia.
16 May 1983
Your brother, Doc, has come back to work on the farm. He's here now. - Doc boy! Don't call me "Doc boy". - Jon boy! Mom boy! Doc boy! How are you? Oh boy.
17 May 1983
What brings you to the farm, Jon? I promised Garfield some good home cooking. - What would you boys like for breakfast? - My guess is Garfield would like some ham and eggs.
18 May 1983
Doc, you're looking more like dad all the time. - You take that back! - SMACK! Hush up, boy. The three stooges live.
19 May 1983
You know, Doc, for brothers, we don't look much alike. - It's hard to believe we came from the same place. - You mean, the farm? The funny farm maybe.
20 May 1983
Take care now. See you soon. Don't be a stranger. - So long! Bye bye! Bye now. Se yuh. - I can't believe the fuss they make over going to bed. You have a very close family.
21 May 1983
Oh no! - That does it! Let's die in each other's arms and live together in eternity. How do we do that? - Here's how. squash - I'm not one to fool with great literature.
22 May 1983
Here comes Arlene. She's crazy about me. - Hi, Arlene. Hi, bozo. - I'm sure she meant to say, "Hunk".
23 May 1983
Let's go mousing. What's wrong with lasagna? - There's no thrill of pursuit. - Obviously, you've never snatched one off the table during sundae dinner.
24 May 1983
Why do girls always so good, Arlene? - We wear perfume. - Sounds kind of sissified to me. - I get this from a sex that likes to tattoo themselves.
25 May 1983
What does the moon remind you of, Garfield? - The moon reminds me of night, and that reminds me of sleep, which reminds me of breakfast... - That wasn't what I had in mind. Then, after breakfast, comes my nap...
26 May 1983
I'm taking you to a great restaurant tonight, Arlene. - bonk bonk Look, galvanized, not one of those cheap plastic places. - Now I've seen it all...a three-star garbage can.
27 May 1983
I'll see you, Arlene. It is customary, in human circles, to kiss a lady's hand. - You're not a human, and that's not a hand. That's a hairy paw. - Oil and water, nitro and glycerin, chivalry and realism.
28 May 1983
of existence. - Prepare to die! - How did you like my cactus, Garfield? Prepare to die.
29 May 1983
I'm going out to a very nice restaurant tonight, Garfield. So you be good while I'm gone. - And, no, you can't come with me. - Who said I wanted to go to your crummy restaurant, anyway?
30 May 1983
Jon is going out without us tonight, Odie. - So you know what to do... - You chew his slippers and I'll destroy his chair.
31 May 1983