Garfield, I know you're in my fern. I can see your tail. What do you have to say for yourself? If you must know, I am a rare carnivorous fern, and if you don't mind, I'd like to finish eating your cat in peace.
1 August 1983
HA-HA! YOU DIDN'T GET MY FOOD THAT TIME! SPLAT
2 August 1983
You've been reading "Alice in Wonderland" again, haven't you? You must be psychic.
3 August 1983
RRR RRR!!!!! I want to know why you did that, Garfield! That's not half as interesting as how I got up there to begin with.
4 August 1983
Garfield, I want you to get all the mice out of this house, right now! Oh, very well. Be a good boy and call my attorney, will you? And have him serve them with an eviction notice.
5 August 1983
ARRRGH!!! B-B-B-B! Cats are so unpredictable. Predictably so.
6 August 1983
7 August 1983
OH, NO! My legs re shrinking!
8 August 1983
I've really done it this time. My belly has outgrown my legs. I guess there's only one thing to do... Get fitted for stilts.
9 August 1983
* Hummm * Oh, no! You know you're overweight when you're sitting around rocking, and you realize you don't have a rocking chair.
10 August 1983
Garfield, you're getting dangerously overweight. How dangerous can a little extra fat be? Who, blub, would, blub, have, blub, guessed?
11 August 1983
Don't worry about your condition, Garfield. You can still lead a useful and productive life. As a paperweight, a doorstop, a... Put your face closer to thee claws.
12 August 1983
Rats! The dog next door! Ever had a nightmare come true?
13 August 1983
* Hi, hi, Daisy-Waisy. Would you wike some wa-wa? Oh boysy-woysy. If you speak nicely to plants, they grow better, Garfield. Bologna. DIE! Live and learn.
14 August 1983
RIIIP! Cruelty is second nature to that cat.
15 August 1983
Diet time. Rats.
16 August 1983
Happy diet, Garfield. Here's a banana for breakfast. Bang!
17 August 1983
As long as you're dieting, Garfield, why don't you exercise, too? Sure...why not? As long as the noose is around my neck, I might as well jump off the horse.
18 August 1983
Sticking to your diet, Garfield? Yup. FUMP But I did eat the pictures out of your cookbook.
19 August 1983
You're looking slim there, Garfield. Thanks. I couldn't find a corset. So I borrowed one of Jon's tube socks.
20 August 1983
They say we can visit him 2 to 4 on saturday. Food gone! Food all gone!
21 August 1983
I can't possibly eat all this food. It's time for a...FOOD FIGHT! SPLUT! You stay out of this, Monday.
22 August 1983
Hallo, folks. How do you do? I'm Garfield, the cat. I'll entertain you. SPLAT! You stay out of this, mom.
23 August 1983
I just flew in from Pittsburgh and, boy, are my arms tired. The guy on the hook must be asleep.
24 August 1983
I gotta sing! I gotta dance! BAP! BOP! BIFF! I gotta be crazy.
25 August 1983
Goody, Jon's not around. Jon stifles my lifestyle. Put the dog down! He's no fun.
26 August 1983
ZIP! I don't know how we does it, we jus' does it.
27 August 1983
splut plik bat scratch drip Bored, Garfield? Some days I get tired of being a cat.
28 August 1983
That wasn't very nice, Garfield. In this business, "nice! doesn't put bread on the table.
29 August 1983
Why is it I'm crazy about you, Garfield? Probably because I'm perfect. You claw the drapes, shed on the furniture, steal my food and hassle the dog. Nobody's perfect.
30 August 1983
Garfield's in for a surprise. I put an alarm on the refrigerator. That's the first rule for successfully living with a cat. You must be smarter than the cat.
31 August 1983