Garfield, I know you're in my fern. I can see your tail. - What do you have to say for yourself? - If you must know, I am a rare carnivorous fern, and if you don't mind, I'd like to finish eating your cat in peace.
1 August 1983
- HA-HA! YOU DIDN'T GET MY FOOD THAT TIME! - SPLAT
2 August 1983
- - You've been reading "Alice in Wonderland" again, haven't you? You must be psychic.
3 August 1983
RRR - RRR!!!!! - I want to know why you did that, Garfield! That's not half as interesting as how I got up there to begin with.
4 August 1983
Garfield, I want you to get all the mice out of this house, right now! Oh, very well. - Be a good boy and call my attorney, will you? - And have him serve them with an eviction notice.
5 August 1983
- ARRRGH!!! B-B-B-B! - Cats are so unpredictable. Predictably so.
6 August 1983
CATCH THAT MOUSE! - Garfield, why don't you eat mice like other cats? I don't like to hurt mice. How can I get that through your thick skull? - * - Dear Jon: The mice and I have an agreement. They don't bug me and I don't bug them. Therefore,
7 August 1983
- OH, NO! - My legs re shrinking!
8 August 1983
I've really done it this time. My belly has outgrown my legs. - I guess there's only one thing to do... - Get fitted for stilts.
9 August 1983
* Hummm * - Oh, no! - You know you're overweight when you're sitting around rocking, and you realize you don't have a rocking chair.
10 August 1983
Garfield, you're getting dangerously overweight. - How dangerous can a little extra fat be? - Who, blub, would, blub, have, blub, guessed?
11 August 1983
Don't worry about your condition, Garfield. - You can still lead a useful and productive life. - As a paperweight, a doorstop, a... Put your face closer to thee claws.
12 August 1983
Rats! The dog next door! - Ever had a nightmare come true?
13 August 1983
* Hi, hi, Daisy-Waisy. Would you wike some wa-wa? Oh boysy-woysy. - If you speak nicely to plants, they grow better, Garfield. Bologna. - - - DIE! - Live and learn.
14 August 1983
- RIIIP! - Cruelty is second nature to that cat.
15 August 1983
- - Diet time. Rats.
16 August 1983
Happy diet, Garfield. Here's a banana for breakfast. - - Bang!
17 August 1983
As long as you're dieting, Garfield, why don't you exercise, too? - Sure...why not? - As long as the noose is around my neck, I might as well jump off the horse.
18 August 1983
Sticking to your diet, Garfield? Yup. - FUMP - But I did eat the pictures out of your cookbook.
19 August 1983
You're looking slim there, Garfield. Thanks. - I couldn't find a corset. - So I borrowed one of Jon's tube socks.
20 August 1983
- - - - - They say we can visit him 2 to 4 on saturday. Food gone! Food all gone!
21 August 1983
I can't possibly eat all this food. It's time for a...FOOD FIGHT! - SPLUT! - You stay out of this, Monday.
22 August 1983
Hallo, folks. How do you do? I'm Garfield, the cat. I'll entertain you. - SPLAT! - You stay out of this, mom.
23 August 1983
I just flew in from Pittsburgh and, boy, are my arms tired. - - The guy on the hook must be asleep.
24 August 1983
I gotta sing! I gotta dance! - BAP! BOP! BIFF! - I gotta be crazy.
25 August 1983
Goody, Jon's not around. - Jon stifles my lifestyle. - Put the dog down! He's no fun.
26 August 1983
- ZIP! - I don't know how we does it, we jus' does it.
27 August 1983
- splut - plik - bat - scratch- drip - Bored, Garfield? Some days I get tired of being a cat.
28 August 1983
- - That wasn't very nice, Garfield. - In this business, "nice! doesn't put bread on the table.
29 August 1983
Why is it I'm crazy about you, Garfield? Probably because I'm perfect. - You claw the drapes, shed on the furniture, steal my food and hassle the dog. - Nobody's perfect.
30 August 1983
Garfield's in for a surprise. I put an alarm on the refrigerator. - That's the first rule for successfully living with a cat. - You must be smarter than the cat.
31 August 1983