Oh boy, what a party, I ate too much. - I gotta get up and exercise. Here I go. - Okay, here I go o the count of three...one, two, three and up! - Up...up and exercise. Come on, Garfield. You can do it. - This time I'm really going to do it.
Don't you think you should be getting up now? - Look, conscience, get out of my life. I have no use for you. Careful, fella. or I'll call my big brother. - Who's he? Guilt. On the jogging track in 5 minutes, sucker! Be there!
Good morning, ham, good morning, eggs, good morning, milk. - There's one nice thing about visiting the farm... - The food is fresh. - Here, lunch. Here, lunch. - Uh-oh. - This is not good. - Garfield! Where have you been?! At Custer's last
- I love sacks. - I wouldn't kid you, Parnelli. This honey will do 0-60 in 6 seconds flat. - I swear, Sally, get your head out of the sand. The sack dress is coming back. - I think I'll step into the root cellar and see what's for dinner. -
Let's get you into trouble, Nermal. - Look in the cookie jar! Look in the cookie jar! No, you can't have a cookie, Garfield, You'll spoil dinner. - Thanks for the cookies. Jeff would have known what Lassie was talking about.
Poor me. - What a yucky evening. - It's dark and rainy and there's nothing on television. - I crave sunshine, daisy-filled meadows and good times. I need a ticket out of here. - Wait a minute! I have one! SNAP! -
Come on, mailman, deliver that mail. - And when you do, I'm going to leap on you and all that will be left will be your mailbag and that silly-looking hat of yours. - Has the mailman come yet, Garfield? No, he's still standing at the end of
I can't believe my luck. This is too perfect. - I will now slide down this banister and make a four-point landing on Odie down there. - BANZAI! - - RATS! - I can see the headline now: "Twist in plot fatal to local cat".
Wouldn't it be great if everything could talk? - I'd get out of bed and the wall would say, "Good morning, Jon." and the sink would say, "Good morning, Jon." That wouldn't be so hot. - Every time a light bulb burned out, it would be like a
Now that my conscience is trapped in this bottle, I can walk away and enjoy myself. - That's okay, go ahead, have fun, don't worry about me. I'll just sit here in the dark...all alone. - You're very good. One of the best.
tappity tappity tappity - Good evening, ladies and germs. In our audience tonight is a boy scout delegation from Booga-Booga. Welcome, guys. - I'm dedicating my first song to you. Appropriately enough it's called, "I'm just a boy scouting for
Hey, look! Odie! - It snowed last night! - Ha ha, so you boys want to play in the snow, huh? - First you'll have to wear your nice, warm pet sweaters. - And your wool caps and mittens and mufflers and booties. - There you go, boys. - Having
Hey, Garfield, we're going to the farm to visit dad and mom this week. - Goodo. I need a change of surroundings. I was getting bored with this city life. - It will be nice to be bored in the country for a change.
Doc, do you ever regret that you stayed on the farm while I went to the city to live in the lap of luxury? - Not really. Dad will probably will the farm to me, and I'll sell the acreage at a huge profit and retire while young. - Need a hired
WHEW! - Today I am going to cure Garfield of his gluttony. - Go to it, boy! - He's either going to get sick eating all that food, or he's going to burst trying. MUNCH SMACK SLURP - Are you going to want the rest of that hamburger?
This is it, boys. - Tonight we find out who the phantom ripper is. - He's stepping out the shadows now. - Oh, no! It's...it's you! AYIEEE! - Good movie. click - Who was he? - We thought YOU were watching. SMACK GRRRRR
Aha! Jon! It was you who kidnapped Pooky! - Obviously, sensing I was hot on his trail and fearing my wrath, he's decided to return Pooky and throw himself on the mercy of the court. - I had your teddy bear cleaned, Garfield. Sigh...thank you.
Look out, world. - I feel invincible today. - FOOD! I CRAVE FOOD! - That took nearly three seconds, Jon. We'll do better next time, won't we? - I shall take my morning stroll mow. Be a good boy and alert the media. - Hold up, traffic. Here
Garfield, there's only one way to shed this shroud of gray we wear... - There's only one path out of this valley of gloom. There's only one sure bet to beat the boreds. - Gather your things. We're going to vacation! I'm packed. Let's go!
Thank heavens for these reduced airline rates, Garfield. No frills, no food, no class. - Welcome to Inversion Layer Airlines, sir. In what section are you traveling? Uh...third class. - What section, sir? Third class. - I can't hear you!
I would like your cheapest room for me and my cat. Yes, sir. That would be the Jack Benny suite, sir. - Well, Garfield, there's the bed and the bathroom's down the hall. Any questions? Yes... - Where are YOU going to sleep?
All I have to do is unpack, Garfield, and we'll be ready for some rest and relaxation. - ARRRRGH! NOT ANOTHER PET TO TAKE CARE OF! - I don't think I can take any more surprises. Then don't look at what Odie did to your sport jacket.
- You guys have a good time, but no digging in the sand, if you know what I mean? - Hey, baby! What's your sign? - Careful, buddy. She's MY girl. - Aw, go pound sand, you little twerp - - Well...I guess we are to do as he says, not as he
ODIE! GET AWAY FROM THAT TREE! GARFIELD! GET OUT OF THAT SAND TRAP! - Would you mind observing proper golf etiquette there, mister? - I'm sorry, but my pets are driving me nuts. It's the outfit I'm talking about.
Hi, Arlene. DON'T SPEAK TO ME, YOU CAD, I SAW YOU WITH THAT OTHER WOMAN! - Oh come on now, do I look like the kind of guy who could easily attract women? I suppose you're right. And just what do you mean by that?
tappity tappity tappity - Good evening, folks. Here's a joke...what did the beaver say when he heard the chain saw? - CHUKONG! - Chirp Chirp They're playing my song. - All of your mothers wear army boots. - KONG CRASH! BAP! - Why do you do
Good morning, boys and girls. I love you just the way you are. Everybody loves uncle Roy. - You are kind, thoughtful, obedient and considerate. - Not to mention intelligent, witty and charming. We all know uncle Roy is a liar, but we don't
Here we are in a real factory, boys and girls. Let's see what we can learn... - ARRRRRGH! WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! - SHUT THIS **!* THING OFF. Uncle Roy is learning never to wear loose clothing around big machinery.
Good morning, boys and girls. You are probably wondering where my dog, Bob, is this morning. - Wellll...it seems old Bob bit Mr. Blue Jeans the mailman once too often... - So Bob has decided to move to a local research facility to pursue a
Let's play pretend, boys and girls. Let's pretend it's contract negotiation time for uncle Roy... - And there are big green monsters who want to take uncle Roy off the air... - And the only thing that can save uncle Roy are letters saying how
Looks who's come to visit, boys and girls. It's Jerry the Cat. Hi, Jerry. Hi, uncle Roy. - How are you? I'm fine, How are you? Uncle Roy is getting pretty bizarre. - How's your mother? She's fine. Who'd be dumb enough to believe there is a
- I'm going to kick Odie off this table. - And he'll probably sprain something and have to go to the vet. - And I'll get lonely without him. - And Jon will be angry without me. - And the humane society will want to lynch me. - But nobody said
I can't believe I turn six years old tomorrow. Some cats say, "Life begins at six," but I don't buy that. - Old age may take its toll on some cats, but it's not going to happen to me! I'm going to do something about it! - Right after my nap.
Pooky, I would like you to meet Stretch, my rubber chicken. - Quite frankly, Pooky and Stretch don't have a lot of personality. - But you have to trade off something when you surround yourself with good listeners.
- YAWN It's bed-bye time again. - Tonight I think I'll take a deep breath, slowly close my eyes and savor the heavy feeling of sleep gradually overtaking my body. PAT! PAT! PAT! - Then again it would be fun to have a cup of coffee and toss
Well, well, well. I see you're eating my food, Odie. Now what are going to do with you? - We are going to kick you into next week! That's what we're going to do! PUNT - Where's Odie? Somewhere over saturday.
- I believe you're gaining weight, Garfield. I believe your eyeballs are shrinking. - Look at that soft belly. That's just water retention. - Now why do you suppose you're looking larger? An optical illusion? - The older you get', the bigger
scritch scritch - I'll be darned. These labels are loose. - * - It's the old "Cats get the tuna while the owner get the cat food" gag. - - Surprise, Garfield! I fixed us a tuna noodle casserole. - Oh, well, I guess a half a surprise is better
Since we can't watch TV during a power failure, Garfield, what say we listen to the radio? - Ha ha! Do I feel stupid. That's because you ARE stupid. CLICK CLICK - How about a game of cards? No, thanks. I'm just going to sit here and cry for a
Z Z - BABOOM! - SHOOP ZOOM - Allright you guys, get out of here. It's only a little thunderstorm. - Pets...they're just like kids. - CRACK KABOOM! - Urf! Give me some room, will you? Hey! Your feet are cold!
- Garfield, where are yoooooou? - Get out of the breadbox, Garfield! - Get out from under the chair, Garfield! - Garfield, you know I hate it when you hide from me! - Oh, well. I'll find him sooner or later. There's only so many places a fat
Good morning, Garfield. I'm hungry. - How would you like your egg prepared? I would like it hatched. - Raise it to young chickenhood on a diet of cracked corn, barley and sorghum molasses. - Then barbecue the dude.
Hello, what have we here? - I think I'll draw something. - Hey, Garfield! This is a great drawing! Do you know what his means?! - A cat who can draw! We'll make millions. You'll be famous! - We'll tour the world! Live out a suitcase! You'll do
Why do I do it? Why do I climb up trees when I can't climb down? - The neighborhood always turns out to see me. Then the fire department comes to get me. Then my picture ends up in the newspaper. - I just answered my own question.
Ballet slippers? Uh-oh, Jon's getting weird on me. - See the ballet slippers I'm giving my niece, Garfield? I wish I had ballet slippers. - I'll let this niece has never been on pointe. - Or done a jete. - Or a pirouette. - POW! - What
Hmmm. - This ladder gives me a great idea. - I'm going to glue my feet to the ceiling. - And blow Jon's mind. - This is going to be fun. - Unless, of course, Jon doesn't see me. - Unless, of course, Jon goes to bed.
I know we're brothers, Doc Boy, but do you think we've grown apart since I moved to the city? Don't call me Doc Boy. - How would you like it if I called you a city slicker? I wouldn't like that. - DOC BOY! DOC BOY! DOC BOY! SLICKER! SLICKER!
Well, Garfield, this week you learned where bacon comes from. Bacon comes from a pig. - And you learned where milk comes from. Milk comes from the udder of a cow. - Would you like to know where eggs come from? I would as soon that remain a
Garfield, when we get to the campsite, what's the first thing you'd like to do? Go home. - Here we are, boys. We're camping miles from nowhere. I'd say we're closer than that. - CLICK - Oh no! Odie locked himself in the car! The poor little
Hello, I'm Nermal, the... "The world's cutest kitten." I know, I know. - Why, hello, Nermal. Aren't you cute. - I want some attention, too. BONK - Aw, poor little guy! - Well, two can play the sympathy game. - CRASH! - That was one of my best
* - Good morning, Garfield. Good morning, Jon. My rubber chicken, Stretch, needs a bath too. - SPLOOSH! - Sign here for this package, mister. - PAPER! BONK - HEY, WORLD! I'M TAKING A BATH! COME ON IN AND WATCH! I'll be right back. I'm sure
Good morning, sunshine, poke poke poke - Hey, Garfield, what's all this junk in your bed? - This isn't junk, this is my stuff. - I use this brass lizard to scratch my back. - And here is some extra cat hair for your food, and a double corncob
It's Monday morning. A cold. gray, dizzy Monday morning. - Some dude with a trumpet is wailin' some blues on the radio and my breakfast is cold. * * - It's all so perfectly depressing I can't wipe this smile off my face. *
MUNCH SLURP SMACK GULP - Burp. Oh, boy, I ate too much pizza. Z - SHUFFLE SHUFFLE SHUFFLE - Who are you guys? We are your pizza nightmare. - I'm the pepperoni, and these here are the onions and the anchovies. - - And who are you? I'm the
Our satellite picture shows clouds over the northeast, sunny skies in the southwest... - Traffic backed up on 12th street... - And my little niece, Sally, playing in her sandbox i Texas. Kind of scary, isn't it?
- - PUCUCK! - ONE MORE STUNT LIKE THAT AND I'M GOING TO WRING YOUR RUBBER CHICKEN'S NECK! - - I'm sorry I snapped at you, Garfield? Will you forgive me? I forgive you. - SMACK! WHAP! But Stretch doesn't!
Don't you just love sunrise, Garfield? The chirping of the birds...the crisp morning air. - The sound of bacon sizzling in the skillet...the smell of fresh brewed coffee. - I get the feeling we're watching two different channels.
What is love to you, Garfield? Love is that exhilarating feeling you get when a vision of beauty comes walking to you. - In fact, I just had that experience. When you saw me? - When I saw my mirror this morning.
- A dimly lit street corner at midnight. This puts me in the mood for some snappy patter. - Hey, good-lookin!. What's happening? Who are you? - Names aren't important. Some call me a soldier of fortune, some call me a renaissance man. You can
Okay, Squeak, here's the game plan. Every now and then, you show up in front of Jon and dance around until I appear on the scene and chase you away. - In return, you get a nice home to live in, and I get to keep my job. - This is a strange
OH NO! A FLEA! I'M GETTING YOU A FLEA COLLAR, GARFIELD. Let's not be too hasty here. - Look at those distinctive yellow and green markings there. - This flea is a member of a rare species of vegetarians.
Can we talk? - I would like to speak to you about how wonderful cats are. - Unlike dogs, they always land on their feet. - They are more calm than dogs. ROWR! - Every movement is a deliberate statement of grace and beauty. - And when it comes
What am I going to do, Garfield? My brother is coming to visit from the farm. - He thinks I live life in the fast lane. "Life in the parking lot" is more like it. - I don't know where he got the idea. It was when you told him you were
There's my brother now. * DING DONG - Welcome to the big city, doc Boy! Let the good times roll! - Another soda pop? No, I think I'll have some more of that fun-filled popcorn. I'm going to like Doc Boy.
I'm so embarrassed. Doc Boy comes all the way from the farm just to find out what a loser I am. The truth always hurts. - Hey, where are all those "good times" you promised me? What would you like to do? - Let's go to the airport and watch
Oh, by the way, Doc Boy, I've fixed us up on a double date. HEY, GREAT! - What's a double date? That's when you and I go on a date together. - Gee, it seems like it would be more fun if some girls came along. There's no hope.
I wonder who that could be, Doc Boy. DING DONG . Dad! Mom! What are you doing here!? We missed you boys, okay? - A little paint, a few curtains, a woman's touch, this could be nice! My dad, the sentimental fool. My mom, the cliche.
Your visit is such a surprise, mom. When's the last time you and dad went out? We haven't been off the farm since '53. I don't believe that. - Good heavens! What's this? That's an indoor toilet, dad. - WOO-HA! AIN'T SCIENCE SOMETHIN'? FLUSH
You forgot this when you left home, Doc Boy. Thanks, mom, I haven't slept a wink without it. - Whatcha got there, Doc Boy? NOTHING! NOTHING! IT'S NOTHING! - Could it be a shred of your old blankie? Careful what you say about blankies,
Uh, mom...I wouldn't open that if I were you. - EEEK! - SOMETHING IN THERE MOVED! I'm sure it was just an optical illusion. GO ahead, tell her how the lunch meat has evolved into an intelligent life form.
What a tragic scenario..."Owner leaves for week...cat locks self out of house...cat starves in front porch". - Hey, wait a minute? I control my destiny! I don't have to starve on the front porch! - "Cat starves in bushes".
* - * - Rats! There's an alley full of mean guys waiting to beat me up! - Maybe they won't hurt me if I look mean, too. - Hey! It's working! - - Someday, I'm going to learn precisely where that fine line is, and I'm never going to cross it
Mom, I don't recognize this place. I thought I was born in the kitchen of an Italian restaurant. It closed years ago, darling. - It's all gone! Where's the pasta? The people? The pasta? The excitement? The pasta? - You always did love to eat.
Father, this is your grandson, Garfield. He will be staying with us for a while. - If you're going to stay here, boy, you're going to be a mouser like the rest of us. - So this is my grandson and you son, huh? Maybe they switched kittens in
If I have to be a mouser to stay here, grandpa, I'll do it! I have made a name for myself in the mousing game. - Then eat that mouse. ARRRGH!!! Please! Please don't make me eat it! - I'd rather swallow my pride than that mouse.
Well, this is just great. I'm cold, I'm hungry, I'm tired... - It's snowing to beat the band, and I haven't the foggiest idea where I am. - While everyone else is having a white Christmas, I'm going to have a white lost.
- This is going to be one sad Christmas without Garfield. - SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH - - BLAT! - GARFIELD! SPEAK TO ME! ARE YOU OKAY?! - Actually, yes. I just thought it would be more dramatic this way.
I missed you so much, Garfield! This is going to be the best Christmas ever, because you're here. Jon? - You never realize how much you love someone until they go away. tap tap tap Jon? Jon? Jon? - What is it, Garfield? Read my lips. I'm
Hey, Garfield, a late Christmas package arrived for you from my mom. OH NO! - Why, it's your annual Christmas sweater! I'll bet you thought she forgot. There was always the hope. - You should send her a "thank you" now. I'll get a letter bomb
It's that time of year again. - This year I resolve to lose weight, exercise more and sleep less. - - Then what are you going to do after you've accomplished all that? - I suppose you're going to be nice to Odie and kowtow to Jon and lick the