Oh boy, what a party, I ate too much. I gotta get up and exercise. Here I go. Okay, here I go o the count of three...one, two, three and up! Up...up and exercise. Come on, Garfield. You can do it. This time I'm really going to do it.Here go the legs lifti
Don't you think you should be getting up now? Look, conscience, get out of my life. I have no use for you. Careful, fella. or I'll call my big brother. Who's he? Guilt. On the jogging track in 5 minutes, sucker! Be there!
Good morning, ham, good morning, eggs, good morning, milk. There's one nice thing about visiting the farm... The food is fresh. Here, lunch. Here, lunch. Uh-oh. This is not good. Garfield! Where have you been?! At Custer's laststand.
I love sacks. I wouldn't kid you, Parnelli. This honey will do 0-60 in 6 seconds flat. I swear, Sally, get your head out of the sand. The sack dress is coming back. I think I'll step into the root cellar and see what's for dinner. -OH, NO! Hello, mainten
Let's get you into trouble, Nermal. Look in the cookie jar! Look in the cookie jar! No, you can't have a cookie, Garfield, You'll spoil dinner. Thanks for the cookies. Jeff would have known what Lassie was talking about.
Poor me. What a yucky evening. It's dark and rainy and there's nothing on television. I crave sunshine, daisy-filled meadows and good times. I need a ticket out of here. Wait a minute! I have one! SNAP! -
Come on, mailman, deliver that mail. And when you do, I'm going to leap on you and all that will be left will be your mailbag and that silly-looking hat of yours. Has the mailman come yet, Garfield? No, he's still standing at the end ofthe sidewalk sobbin
I can't believe my luck. This is too perfect. I will now slide down this banister and make a four-point landing on Odie down there. BANZAI! RATS! I can see the headline now: "Twist in plot fatal to local cat".
Wouldn't it be great if everything could talk? I'd get out of bed and the wall would say, "Good morning, Jon." and the sink would say, "Good morning, Jon." That wouldn't be so hot. Every time a light bulb burned out, it would be like a
Now that my conscience is trapped in this bottle, I can walk away and enjoy myself. That's okay, go ahead, have fun, don't worry about me. I'll just sit here in the dark...all alone. You're very good. One of the best.
tappity tappity tappity Good evening, ladies and germs. In our audience tonight is a boy scout delegation from Booga-Booga. Welcome, guys. I'm dedicating my first song to you. Appropriately enough it's called, "I'm just a boy scouting forthe key to y
Hey, look! Odie! It snowed last night! Ha ha, so you boys want to play in the snow, huh? First you'll have to wear your nice, warm pet sweaters. And your wool caps and mittens and mufflers and booties. There you go, boys. Havingfun yet? Ha ha ha, wheee.
Hey, Garfield, we're going to the farm to visit dad and mom this week. Goodo. I need a change of surroundings. I was getting bored with this city life. It will be nice to be bored in the country for a change.
Doc, do you ever regret that you stayed on the farm while I went to the city to live in the lap of luxury? Not really. Dad will probably will the farm to me, and I'll sell the acreage at a huge profit and retire while young. Need a hiredhand? Give me a re
WHEW! Today I am going to cure Garfield of his gluttony. Go to it, boy! He's either going to get sick eating all that food, or he's going to burst trying. MUNCH SMACK SLURP Are you going to want the rest of that hamburger?
This is it, boys. Tonight we find out who the phantom ripper is. He's stepping out the shadows now. Oh, no! It's...it's you! AYIEEE! Good movie. click Who was he? We thought YOU were watching. SMACK GRRRRR
Aha! Jon! It was you who kidnapped Pooky! Obviously, sensing I was hot on his trail and fearing my wrath, he's decided to return Pooky and throw himself on the mercy of the court. I had your teddy bear cleaned, Garfield. Sigh...thank you.
Look out, world. I feel invincible today. FOOD! I CRAVE FOOD! That took nearly three seconds, Jon. We'll do better next time, won't we? I shall take my morning stroll mow. Be a good boy and alert the media. Hold up, traffic. Herecomes Garfield. Where were
Garfield, there's only one way to shed this shroud of gray we wear... There's only one path out of this valley of gloom. There's only one sure bet to beat the boreds. Gather your things. We're going to vacation! I'm packed. Let's go!
Thank heavens for these reduced airline rates, Garfield. No frills, no food, no class. Welcome to Inversion Layer Airlines, sir. In what section are you traveling? Uh...third class. What section, sir? Third class. I can't hear you!THIRD CLASS! In the back
I would like your cheapest room for me and my cat. Yes, sir. That would be the Jack Benny suite, sir. Well, Garfield, there's the bed and the bathroom's down the hall. Any questions? Yes... Where are YOU going to sleep?
All I have to do is unpack, Garfield, and we'll be ready for some rest and relaxation. ARRRRGH! NOT ANOTHER PET TO TAKE CARE OF! I don't think I can take any more surprises. Then don't look at what Odie did to your sport jacket.
You guys have a good time, but no digging in the sand, if you know what I mean? Hey, baby! What's your sign? Careful, buddy. She's MY girl. Aw, go pound sand, you little twerp Well...I guess we are to do as he says, not as hedoes.
ODIE! GET AWAY FROM THAT TREE! GARFIELD! GET OUT OF THAT SAND TRAP! Would you mind observing proper golf etiquette there, mister? I'm sorry, but my pets are driving me nuts. It's the outfit I'm talking about.
Hi, Arlene. DON'T SPEAK TO ME, YOU CAD, I SAW YOU WITH THAT OTHER WOMAN! Oh come on now, do I look like the kind of guy who could easily attract women? I suppose you're right. And just what do you mean by that?
tappity tappity tappity Good evening, folks. Here's a joke...what did the beaver say when he heard the chain saw? CHUKONG! Chirp Chirp They're playing my song. All of your mothers wear army boots. KONG CRASH! BAP! Why do you doit, Garfield? I loooove the
Good morning, boys and girls. I love you just the way you are. Everybody loves uncle Roy. You are kind, thoughtful, obedient and considerate. Not to mention intelligent, witty and charming. We all know uncle Roy is a liar, but we don'tcare.
Here we are in a real factory, boys and girls. Let's see what we can learn... ARRRRRGH! WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! SHUT THIS **!* THING OFF. Uncle Roy is learning never to wear loose clothing around big machinery.
Good morning, boys and girls. You are probably wondering where my dog, Bob, is this morning. Wellll...it seems old Bob bit Mr. Blue Jeans the mailman once too often... So Bob has decided to move to a local research facility to pursue acareer as a laborato
Let's play pretend, boys and girls. Let's pretend it's contract negotiation time for uncle Roy... And there are big green monsters who want to take uncle Roy off the air... And the only thing that can save uncle Roy are letters saying howmuch you love unc
Looks who's come to visit, boys and girls. It's Jerry the Cat. Hi, Jerry. Hi, uncle Roy. How are you? I'm fine, How are you? Uncle Roy is getting pretty bizarre. How's your mother? She's fine. Who'd be dumb enough to believe there is atalking cat?
I'm going to kick Odie off this table. And he'll probably sprain something and have to go to the vet. And I'll get lonely without him. And Jon will be angry without me. And the humane society will want to lynch me. But nobody saidlife was a rose garden.
I can't believe I turn six years old tomorrow. Some cats say, "Life begins at six," but I don't buy that. Old age may take its toll on some cats, but it's not going to happen to me! I'm going to do something about it! Right after my nap.
Pooky, I would like you to meet Stretch, my rubber chicken. Quite frankly, Pooky and Stretch don't have a lot of personality. But you have to trade off something when you surround yourself with good listeners.
YAWN It's bed-bye time again. Tonight I think I'll take a deep breath, slowly close my eyes and savor the heavy feeling of sleep gradually overtaking my body. PAT! PAT! PAT! Then again it would be fun to have a cup of coffee and tossand turn for a couple
Well, well, well. I see you're eating my food, Odie. Now what are going to do with you? We are going to kick you into next week! That's what we're going to do! PUNT Where's Odie? Somewhere over saturday.
I believe you're gaining weight, Garfield. I believe your eyeballs are shrinking. Look at that soft belly. That's just water retention. Now why do you suppose you're looking larger? An optical illusion? The older you get', the biggeryou get. Bigger-boned
scritch scritch I'll be darned. These labels are loose. * It's the old "Cats get the tuna while the owner get the cat food" gag. Surprise, Garfield! I fixed us a tuna noodle casserole. Oh, well, I guess a half a surprise is betterthan none at al
Since we can't watch TV during a power failure, Garfield, what say we listen to the radio? Ha ha! Do I feel stupid. That's because you ARE stupid. CLICK CLICK How about a game of cards? No, thanks. I'm just going to sit here and cry for awhile.
Garfield, where are yoooooou? Get out of the breadbox, Garfield! Get out from under the chair, Garfield! Garfield, you know I hate it when you hide from me! Oh, well. I'll find him sooner or later. There's only so many places a fatslob like him can hide.
Good morning, Garfield. I'm hungry. How would you like your egg prepared? I would like it hatched. Raise it to young chickenhood on a diet of cracked corn, barley and sorghum molasses. Then barbecue the dude.I should think a steak sauce and honey glaze wo
Hello, what have we here? I think I'll draw something. Hey, Garfield! This is a great drawing! Do you know what his means?! A cat who can draw! We'll make millions. You'll be famous! We'll tour the world! Live out a suitcase! You'll dothousands of drawing
Why do I do it? Why do I climb up trees when I can't climb down? The neighborhood always turns out to see me. Then the fire department comes to get me. Then my picture ends up in the newspaper. I just answered my own question.
Ballet slippers? Uh-oh, Jon's getting weird on me. See the ballet slippers I'm giving my niece, Garfield? I wish I had ballet slippers. I'll let this niece has never been on pointe. Or done a jete. Or a pirouette. POW! Whathappened? I had a ballet slipper
Hmmm. This ladder gives me a great idea. I'm going to glue my feet to the ceiling. And blow Jon's mind. This is going to be fun. Unless, of course, Jon doesn't see me. Unless, of course, Jon goes to bed.
I know we're brothers, Doc Boy, but do you think we've grown apart since I moved to the city? Don't call me Doc Boy. How would you like it if I called you a city slicker? I wouldn't like that. DOC BOY! DOC BOY! DOC BOY! SLICKER! SLICKER!SLICKER! Boys! Boy
Well, Garfield, this week you learned where bacon comes from. Bacon comes from a pig. And you learned where milk comes from. Milk comes from the udder of a cow. Would you like to know where eggs come from? I would as soon that remain amystery.
Garfield, when we get to the campsite, what's the first thing you'd like to do? Go home. Here we are, boys. We're camping miles from nowhere. I'd say we're closer than that. CLICK Oh no! Odie locked himself in the car! The poor littleguy could suffocate!
Hello, I'm Nermal, the... "The world's cutest kitten." I know, I know. Why, hello, Nermal. Aren't you cute. I want some attention, too. BONK Aw, poor little guy! Well, two can play the sympathy game. CRASH! That was one of my bestplates. That wa
* Good morning, Garfield. Good morning, Jon. My rubber chicken, Stretch, needs a bath too. SPLOOSH! Sign here for this package, mister. PAPER! BONK HEY, WORLD! I'M TAKING A BATH! COME ON IN AND WATCH! I'll be right back. I'm surethe man's joking, Reba.
Good morning, sunshine, poke poke poke Hey, Garfield, what's all this junk in your bed? This isn't junk, this is my stuff. I use this brass lizard to scratch my back. And here is some extra cat hair for your food, and a double corncobthat is a family heir
It's Monday morning. A cold. gray, dizzy Monday morning. Some dude with a trumpet is wailin' some blues on the radio and my breakfast is cold. * * It's all so perfectly depressing I can't wipe this smile off my face. *
MUNCH SLURP SMACK GULP Burp. Oh, boy, I ate too much pizza. Z SHUFFLE SHUFFLE SHUFFLE Who are you guys? We are your pizza nightmare. I'm the pepperoni, and these here are the onions and the anchovies. And who are you? I'm thematto ball you ate three weeks
Our satellite picture shows clouds over the northeast, sunny skies in the southwest... Traffic backed up on 12th street... And my little niece, Sally, playing in her sandbox i Texas. Kind of scary, isn't it?
Don't you just love sunrise, Garfield? The chirping of the birds...the crisp morning air. The sound of bacon sizzling in the skillet...the smell of fresh brewed coffee. I get the feeling we're watching two different channels.
What is love to you, Garfield? Love is that exhilarating feeling you get when a vision of beauty comes walking to you. In fact, I just had that experience. When you saw me? When I saw my mirror this morning.
A dimly lit street corner at midnight. This puts me in the mood for some snappy patter. Hey, good-lookin!. What's happening? Who are you? Names aren't important. Some call me a soldier of fortune, some call me a renaissance man. You cancall me "Majo
Okay, Squeak, here's the game plan. Every now and then, you show up in front of Jon and dance around until I appear on the scene and chase you away. In return, you get a nice home to live in, and I get to keep my job. This is a strangeworld we live in. Yo
Can we talk? I would like to speak to you about how wonderful cats are. Unlike dogs, they always land on their feet. They are more calm than dogs. ROWR! Every movement is a deliberate statement of grace and beauty. And when it comesto coordination, they a
What am I going to do, Garfield? My brother is coming to visit from the farm. He thinks I live life in the fast lane. "Life in the parking lot" is more like it. I don't know where he got the idea. It was when you told him you werenegotiating mov
I'm so embarrassed. Doc Boy comes all the way from the farm just to find out what a loser I am. The truth always hurts. Hey, where are all those "good times" you promised me? What would you like to do? Let's go to the airport and watchthe airpla
Oh, by the way, Doc Boy, I've fixed us up on a double date. HEY, GREAT! What's a double date? That's when you and I go on a date together. Gee, it seems like it would be more fun if some girls came along. There's no hope.
I wonder who that could be, Doc Boy. DING DONG . Dad! Mom! What are you doing here!? We missed you boys, okay? A little paint, a few curtains, a woman's touch, this could be nice! My dad, the sentimental fool. My mom, the cliche.
Your visit is such a surprise, mom. When's the last time you and dad went out? We haven't been off the farm since '53. I don't believe that. Good heavens! What's this? That's an indoor toilet, dad. WOO-HA! AIN'T SCIENCE SOMETHIN'? FLUSHNOW I believe it.
You forgot this when you left home, Doc Boy. Thanks, mom, I haven't slept a wink without it. Whatcha got there, Doc Boy? NOTHING! NOTHING! IT'S NOTHING! Could it be a shred of your old blankie? Careful what you say about blankies,fella.
What a tragic scenario..."Owner leaves for week...cat locks self out of house...cat starves in front porch". Hey, wait a minute? I control my destiny! I don't have to starve on the front porch! "Cat starves in bushes".
* * Rats! There's an alley full of mean guys waiting to beat me up! Maybe they won't hurt me if I look mean, too. Hey! It's working! Someday, I'm going to learn precisely where that fine line is, and I'm never going to cross itagain!
Mom, I don't recognize this place. I thought I was born in the kitchen of an Italian restaurant. It closed years ago, darling. It's all gone! Where's the pasta? The people? The pasta? The excitement? The pasta? You always did love to eat.Sniff...old habit
Father, this is your grandson, Garfield. He will be staying with us for a while. If you're going to stay here, boy, you're going to be a mouser like the rest of us. So this is my grandson and you son, huh? Maybe they switched kittens inthe maternity ward.
If I have to be a mouser to stay here, grandpa, I'll do it! I have made a name for myself in the mousing game. Then eat that mouse. ARRRGH!!! Please! Please don't make me eat it! I'd rather swallow my pride than that mouse.
Well, this is just great. I'm cold, I'm hungry, I'm tired... It's snowing to beat the band, and I haven't the foggiest idea where I am. While everyone else is having a white Christmas, I'm going to have a white lost.
I missed you so much, Garfield! This is going to be the best Christmas ever, because you're here. Jon? You never realize how much you love someone until they go away. tap tap tap Jon? Jon? Jon? What is it, Garfield? Read my lips. I'mhungry!
Hey, Garfield, a late Christmas package arrived for you from my mom. OH NO! Why, it's your annual Christmas sweater! I'll bet you thought she forgot. There was always the hope. You should send her a "thank you" now. I'll get a letter bombout imm
It's that time of year again. This year I resolve to lose weight, exercise more and sleep less. Then what are you going to do after you've accomplished all that? I suppose you're going to be nice to Odie and kowtow to Jon and lick themailman's boots! I DO