1978 1979 1980 1981 1982 1983 1984 1985 1986 1987 1988 1989 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017
 
 


 
   
Garfield

Oh boy, what a party, I ate too much. I gotta get up and exercise. Here I go. Okay, here I go o the count of three...one, two, three and up! Up...up and exercise. Come on, Garfield. You can do it. This time I'm really going to do it.Here go the legs lifti

1 January 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Rise and shine, Garfield, It's a bright new day! It's gonna be a wonderful day, a great day! I think I overcheerfuled it.

2 January 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

How do you want your coffee, Garfield? Make it sit up and bark. How's this? Just right.

3 January 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, no! It's the old "Disguise the tongue as a loaf of french bread" trick!

4 January 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, who loosened the top on my saltshaker?! Garfield, that wasn't very nice. You're right, that wasn't very nice. But it was extremely funny.

5 January 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Go outside and play, Garfield. Have a good time. "Have a good time." he says.

6 January 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield, don't eat the lasagna yet... It's still too hot. You're telling me?

7 January 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

-

8 January 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't eat me. You're too fat already! Who are you? This is your conscience speaking. I don't have a conscience. I know. I'm free-lancing.

9 January 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

If you are my conscience, what are you doing in my food bowl? I took on a form you would understand. What do you really look like? Well, if you must know... I look like everyone's mother. Natch.

10 January 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Tell me, conscience, just what does a conscience do? It is my duty to make you feel bad about things that make you feel good. That's sad. It's a living.

11 January 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, conscience, if you don't mind, I'll go to bed now. Tah tah Look both ways before crossing the street. What's that supposed to mean? Sorry, it was just a knee-jerk nag.

12 January 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I can't believe my conscience is following me around. I must be cracking up. A little nap-nap should clear my head. You sleep too much. ACK

13 January 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't you think you should be getting up now? Look, conscience, get out of my life. I have no use for you. Careful, fella. or I'll call my big brother. Who's he? Guilt. On the jogging track in 5 minutes, sucker! Be there!

14 January 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, ham, good morning, eggs, good morning, milk. There's one nice thing about visiting the farm... The food is fresh. Here, lunch. Here, lunch. Uh-oh. This is not good. Garfield! Where have you been?! At Custer's laststand.

15 January 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I love it when the good humor man comes. DING DING I love it when I get a popsicle. I hate it when my lips stick to the *@!! popsicle.

16 January 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Ever notice how moths circle the light? Like planets orbiting a distant sun. I love it when I get philosophical.

17 January 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder what happens when a moth gets too close to the light. AYIEEEE! FOOM! At least he didn't suffer.

18 January 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Let us examine a pet phenomenon called the "rips". That's when your pets race around the house for no apparent reason. Other than to mangle the family cat.

19 January 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

You boys stop racing around. Garfield, slow down! Okay.

20 January 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Would you like to go for a walk, Odie? Let's see...I need a leash. You stay out of this.

21 January 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I love sacks. I wouldn't kid you, Parnelli. This honey will do 0-60 in 6 seconds flat. I swear, Sally, get your head out of the sand. The sack dress is coming back. I think I'll step into the root cellar and see what's for dinner. -OH, NO! Hello, mainten

22 January 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, Garfield. It's me, Nermal. I'm young and good-looking and you're not. I didn't need that.

23 January 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Can I get you anything for breakfast, Garfield? Yeah, how about a big glass of freshly-squeezed kitten juice? You don't like me, don't you?

24 January 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

How cute! Nermal brought me my newspaper! And my slippers and my pipe! What more could a man want? How about a woman?

25 January 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's get you into trouble, Nermal. Look in the cookie jar! Look in the cookie jar! No, you can't have a cookie, Garfield, You'll spoil dinner. Thanks for the cookies. Jeff would have known what Lassie was talking about.

26 January 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

BLUT! BLUT! Call it cruel. Call it juvenile. I call it asserting myself.

27 January 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I hate to bother you, sir, but you put insufficient postage on your package. What package? This kitten you're sending to Abu Dhabi. GARFIELD

28 January 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Poor me. What a yucky evening. It's dark and rainy and there's nothing on television. I crave sunshine, daisy-filled meadows and good times. I need a ticket out of here. Wait a minute! I have one! SNAP! -

29 January 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder how fast I can run. I wonder what would happen if I hit this kitty door at Mach 2. I wonder if killing a mailman is a federal offense.

30 January 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I love attacking the mailman. Some days I scratch him. Some days I bite him. Some days I trip him. Today I'm trying something new. * I'm humiliating him.

31 January 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

* ARRRGH! b-b-b-b When he comes around, he'll thank me for breaking up the monotony of his dreary job.

1 February 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Come on, mailman, deliver that mail. And when you do, I'm going to leap on you and all that will be left will be your mailbag and that silly-looking hat of yours. Has the mailman come yet, Garfield? No, he's still standing at the end ofthe sidewalk sobbin

2 February 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

SLAM! Rats! I missed him! Apparently, no one ever told him to look both ways before crossing the street. SCREECH

3 February 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Be a good boy and fetch the mail, Garfield. Oui, mon capitaine. RIP ROWT CLOBBER BLAP Did you hurt him bad? Oh, just a few lacerations, abrasions and internal injuries. I was in a good mood.

4 February 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

plop! GLUP! ptoo ptoo SPLUT! Salvage the pride, Garfield, salvage the pride.

5 February 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield, it says here people can perform superhuman feats of strength during periods of great stress. What baloney! By the way, I'm taking you to the vet today.

6 February 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

You can't hide from forever, Garfield. I'm going to find you and take you to the vet. You may be sneaky, but I'm sneakier. "Sneaky" is my middle name.

7 February 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield can't resist lasagna, and when he comes to eat it, I'm going to catch him and take him to the vet. SMACK GULP SLURP That cat has the longest lips I've ever seen.

8 February 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Now where could Garfield be? He's not in tie cookies, and he certainly won't be in the doggie biscuits. POO! It's a good thing I can't read.

9 February 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Aha! There you are, Garfield! You're going to the vet now. Sorry, Odie. SMACK

10 February 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I wish I could find Garfield's hiding place so I could take him to the vet. He's sure hiding in a good place. A good place Not a smart place But a good place.

11 February 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I can't believe my luck. This is too perfect. I will now slide down this banister and make a four-point landing on Odie down there. BANZAI! RATS! I can see the headline now: "Twist in plot fatal to local cat".

12 February 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Wouldn't it be great if everything could talk? I'd get out of bed and the wall would say, "Good morning, Jon." and the sink would say, "Good morning, Jon." That wouldn't be so hot. Every time a light bulb burned out, it would be like a

13 February 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

If people had hair all over their bodies, would they wear clothing? Probably not.

14 February 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

What would happen if people were cats and cats were people? That's an easy one. Dogs would soon be extinct.

15 February 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I was wondering, Garfield... What if being fat were considered attractive? What do you mean, "what if," bozo?

16 February 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder what life would be like if we never had to eat. That would take some getting used to. For a time, mothers would fix their families three square nothings a day.

17 February 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

What if there were never a Leonardo da Vinci? That would be awful! The da Vinci kids would have been orphans.

18 February 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

RING! BRING! SMASH! DING DING DING DING STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! GASP! COUGH WHEEzeeee SHOOP! Rats! Too late! Now I'm wide awake.

19 February 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I hate mondays. This is your conscience speaking. It's not nice to hate mondays. Look at it as starting a fresh week with a clean slate. I hate mondays.

20 February 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

This is your conscience speaking. Don't you dare push Odie off the table! That would be inhumane and cruel. Then YOU push him off. POKE! That was kind of fun.

21 February 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Why do you follow me around, conscience? If I don't you won't be very nice. If I put this cork in your bottle would you be trapped? Yes, but that wouldn't be very nice. That wasn't very nice.

22 February 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Now that my conscience is trapped in this bottle, I can walk away and enjoy myself. That's okay, go ahead, have fun, don't worry about me. I'll just sit here in the dark...all alone. You're very good. One of the best.

23 February 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's have some fun, Garfield. Take one step back. Okay. I thought consciences were supposed to be nice! I'm on break.

24 February 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I have my conscience trapped in this bottle. I'll just set it by Jon. Get a haircut.

25 February 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

tappity tappity tappity Good evening, ladies and germs. In our audience tonight is a boy scout delegation from Booga-Booga. Welcome, guys. I'm dedicating my first song to you. Appropriately enough it's called, "I'm just a boy scouting forthe key to y

26 February 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

What a glorious morning! I could really enjoy a morning like this. If I could only get this catch out of my back.

27 February 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I gotta get help for this catch in my back. Hey, guys. What we have here is a failure to communicate.

28 February 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Maybe a good night's sleep will help me get rid of this catch in my back. Maybe not.

29 February 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I hate having a catch in my back. I get no sleep, I get no food, I get no exercise. Don't tip the cat over, Odie. I get no respect.

1 March 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Well hello there, Mr. Stuck-Up. Having a catch in one's back does tend to give one an air of sophistication... I could get to like this.

2 March 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's take care of that catch in your back, Garfield. CRINK! There you go, old buddy. Thanks, I think.

3 March 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, look! Odie! It snowed last night! Ha ha, so you boys want to play in the snow, huh? First you'll have to wear your nice, warm pet sweaters. And your wool caps and mittens and mufflers and booties. There you go, boys. Havingfun yet? Ha ha ha, wheee.

4 March 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Who's that painting at my door? HONK HONK Oh, good morning, Odie. HONK

5 March 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

YAWN GASP! Waking up to my own bad breath is bad enough, but someone else's is unbearable.

6 March 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I am proud to be a pet. Pets lend a touch of elegance to a home. SLUP SLUP I am proud to be a cat. SLUP SLUP

7 March 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, get revved up there, Odie. GO! I love toys that don't need batteries.

8 March 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

crinkle May I have some of that candy bar? Here, take it.

9 March 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I declare this steak the sovereign property of Garfield, the cat! I've never had my dinner annexed before. And you may never see it alive again.

10 March 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

SMACK Let's play! Leave me alone, Garfield. Let's play! Let's play! Oh, okay, we'll play. TICKLE! TICKLE! TICKLE! TICKLE! HA! HA! HEE! HO! HEE! HEE! OUCH! I'm through playing now.

11 March 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield, we're going to the farm to visit dad and mom this week. Goodo. I need a change of surroundings. I was getting bored with this city life. It will be nice to be bored in the country for a change.

12 March 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

It's great to be back on the farm, Garfield. Nothing ever changes. The same old surroundings, the same old room... The same old chores. The same old manure.

13 March 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

This pastoral scene is not exactly intellectually stimulating. Read any good books lately? Oink. "Oink," he says. I rest my case. "Oink" in the existential sense, of course.

14 March 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Doc, do you ever regret that you stayed on the farm while I went to the city to live in the lap of luxury? Not really. Dad will probably will the farm to me, and I'll sell the acreage at a huge profit and retire while young. Need a hiredhand? Give me a re

15 March 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Beautiful sunset, isn't it, dad? Purtyer than a little red wagon goin' up a hill. What does that mean? Oh, it's just something you city boys expect us farmers to say. How true.

16 March 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield and I must be leaving now, mom. Stay, stay! I just baked some pies. We gotta go. Come on, Garfield. Say what, stranger?

17 March 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

WHEW! Today I am going to cure Garfield of his gluttony. Go to it, boy! He's either going to get sick eating all that food, or he's going to burst trying. MUNCH SMACK SLURP Are you going to want the rest of that hamburger?

18 March 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

AWK! I love chasing birds. Except when they do that.

19 March 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

BONK! Rats! Double rats! And, of course, tripe rats.

20 March 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Shoo! Flies and I have a lot in common... You can't keep either of us away from food.

21 March 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I gotta beat that fly to my food! I WIN! You lose, fella. POO

22 March 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

WHEW BOO!

23 March 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

* REARRR! It's the old "bring in the reinforcements" trick.

24 March 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

All right, you guys! Outside! Where were you guys raised, in a barn? Next time use the door. CRASH! Thank you.

25 March 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD! I CAN'T STRAIGHTEN UP! ZIP Ha, ha, my tie was caught in my zipper. Help me.

26 March 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Gimme those cookies. HIYA! HUT! KONK! PUNT! I'd turn her in, but who'd admit to being mangled by a girl scout?

27 March 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Rise and shine, Garfield! Garfield? clunk clunk Time to wash my blankey, what say?

28 March 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Be a good boy and fetch the morning paper, Garfield. Yes, master. I am your beck and call, master. Why can't I have a normal house cat like everyone else?

29 March 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I need a brain for my master. A brain, I need a brain for my master.

30 March 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Ah, coffee. Being a hunchback is going to take some getting used to.

31 March 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

This is it, boys. Tonight we find out who the phantom ripper is. He's stepping out the shadows now. Oh, no! It's...it's you! AYIEEE! Good movie. click Who was he? We thought YOU were watching. SMACK GRRRRR

1 April 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

It's Monday out there. I feel it in the air. I hate mondays. I'm sure the world will end on a Monday...at least I hope it does. It would be a shame to end the world right before a weekend.

2 April 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Pooky, where are you? Oh, no! My teddy bear is missing. This has the makings of a classic mystery. I already have some prime suspects. It's easy when you live with a rogue's gallery.

3 April 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I suspect Odie of kidnapping Pooky. Watch him crumble under my keen questioning. Where were you on the evening of April 1?! What am I doing? Odie doesn't even know where he is now.

4 April 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

There must be clue to Pooky's disappearance here somewhere... Aha! could this be a telltale trail of teddy bear hair? Even if it isn't, that was a pretty nifty bit of alliteration.

5 April 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello, what's this? Just as my teddy bear disappears, this sack mysteriously appears... Something smells fishy here. -

6 April 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Aha! Jon! It was you who kidnapped Pooky! Obviously, sensing I was hot on his trail and fearing my wrath, he's decided to return Pooky and throw himself on the mercy of the court. I had your teddy bear cleaned, Garfield. Sigh...thank you.

7 April 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

* AROOOOOOO * tappity tappity clap clap clap I like you, Garfield. And I like myself, Arlene. I can take a hint. Like myself when I'm with you that is.

8 April 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

It's nearly midnight on a Monday. I can't believe it! Nothing bad has happened to me all day. COO-COO!

9 April 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Watch this. It's the old rubber bone gag. SHOOP! Practical jokes are wasted on the stupid.

10 April 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

SQUIT BLAT Unnnngh! Help! Help! The alien is sucking my brain dry! Garfield has raised playing with food to an art form

11 April 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I think it's time we grow up, be more responsible, take a more mature outlook on life... Hee hee I don't think you're taking me seriously! I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me.

12 April 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Stop begging, Garfield. You may have any food that falls on the floor. I hate you. I can live with that.

13 April 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Hee-hee, snort. WAH-HA-HA! Okay! Okay! I'm awake!

14 April 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Look out, world. I feel invincible today. FOOD! I CRAVE FOOD! That took nearly three seconds, Jon. We'll do better next time, won't we? I shall take my morning stroll mow. Be a good boy and alert the media. Hold up, traffic. Herecomes Garfield. Where were

15 April 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm sorry. Did I bring you down, old buddy? Like a rock, old buddy.

16 April 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm bored, Garfield. I'm tired of seeing the same old scenery. Do you know what I mean? Not really. At least you get to see the scenery.

17 April 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, there's only one way to shed this shroud of gray we wear... There's only one path out of this valley of gloom. There's only one sure bet to beat the boreds. Gather your things. We're going to vacation! I'm packed. Let's go!

18 April 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

How much are the plane tickets? ...uh, do you have anything cheaper? That could be fatal! I don't think they want out business, Garfield. Where's the competition for the low rollers these days?

19 April 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Thank you very much. Garfield, I had to book our vacation all third-class. I hope you don't mind. That's okay. It's still better than this fourth-class existence at home.

20 April 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's blow this joint, Garfield. Hang on! Where did you go? To give the refrigerator a goodbye kiss.

21 April 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Thank heavens for these reduced airline rates, Garfield. No frills, no food, no class. Welcome to Inversion Layer Airlines, sir. In what section are you traveling? Uh...third class. What section, sir? Third class. I can't hear you!THIRD CLASS! In the back

22 April 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I haven't seen a stewardess in hours, Garfield. I'm going to find out what's going on around here. Excuse me sir. How's the service on this airline?

23 April 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey! We're getting hungry here in third-class! What's to eat?! BLAT! BLAT! Hardtack and swill. Yum-yum. CONK! CONK!

24 April 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Nyah! Nyah! Nyah! Nyah! Mikey, it's not nice to make fun of people, even though they ARE traveling in third-class. NO! GARFIELD, NO! LET ME HURT 'EM JUST A LITTLE BIT!

25 April 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I know this is just the third-class exit from the plane, Garfield... But you'd think they'd give us a ladder or something.

26 April 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I would like your cheapest room for me and my cat. Yes, sir. That would be the Jack Benny suite, sir. Well, Garfield, there's the bed and the bathroom's down the hall. Any questions? Yes... Where are YOU going to sleep?

27 April 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

All I have to do is unpack, Garfield, and we'll be ready for some rest and relaxation. ARRRRGH! NOT ANOTHER PET TO TAKE CARE OF! I don't think I can take any more surprises. Then don't look at what Odie did to your sport jacket.

28 April 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

You guys have a good time, but no digging in the sand, if you know what I mean? Hey, baby! What's your sign? Careful, buddy. She's MY girl. Aw, go pound sand, you little twerp Well...I guess we are to do as he says, not as hedoes.

29 April 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield! Are you ready to go play golf? Aren't you coming? On second thought, I think I'd rather stay in the room and watch the sink back-up

30 April 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

ODIE! GET AWAY FROM THAT TREE! GARFIELD! GET OUT OF THAT SAND TRAP! Would you mind observing proper golf etiquette there, mister? I'm sorry, but my pets are driving me nuts. It's the outfit I'm talking about.

1 May 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

CRACK! Oh, no! I hit an old lady in the head and knocked her out cold! What should I do, Garfield? I'd straighten that left arm and turn that right hand over more.

2 May 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

ROWR! GARFIELD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THAT SAND TRAP? Squatting on a sandburg, thank you.

3 May 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, boys, it's been a nice vacation, but it's time to head home. Good heavens! What happened to you guys?! Odie discovered how to dial room service. Burp.

4 May 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Here we are! Home sweet home! ARRRGH! OKAY; WHO LEFT THE FAUCET RUNNING?! I didn't want my sponge collection to dry out.

5 May 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

MY BED! ODIE'S SLEEPING IN MY BED! This calls for a good stomping! STOMP STOMP STOMP So much for my french bread and olive collection.

6 May 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Some people wonder why I hate mondays. Maybe I'm fatalistic. But I suspect I'm just stupid.

7 May 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

scratch scratch scratch WHAM! I'm not very fond of Tuesday, either.

8 May 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I am absolutely not getting out of bed today. Hey, Garfield. There's a spider on your blanket. I keep forgetting we live in a generation without absolutes.

9 May 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I'll teach him to be a spider! STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP He won't have the guts to do that again. STOMP STOMP Better safe than sorry. STOMP STOMP STOMP

10 May 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Look at this. A cat stroking his owner! Why so affectionate, Garfield? I just squashed a spider.

11 May 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

SLUG Big day.

12 May 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Fetch the stick, Odie! -

13 May 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm lonely. I think I'll see if I can find Arlene. Hi there. You two-timing swine! What happened?

14 May 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, Arlene. DON'T SPEAK TO ME, YOU CAD, I SAW YOU WITH THAT OTHER WOMAN! Oh come on now, do I look like the kind of guy who could easily attract women? I suppose you're right. And just what do you mean by that?

15 May 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Here is your dinner, my dear. BLAT Is this food fresh? Ha ha ha, why of course! This is only yesterday's newspaper.

16 May 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Aren't you going to join me for dinner, Garfield? Uh...no thank you. I'm on a diet. A diet?! How long have you been on a diet? Oh, for about 18 seconds now.

17 May 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Ho hum... Why do we see each other? It beats being lonely. I was hoping for something more romantic. That's way down the list.

18 May 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Is our date over? Did it begin? Some women don't appreciate us strong, silent types.

19 May 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

tappity tappity tappity Good evening, folks. Here's a joke...what did the beaver say when he heard the chain saw? CHUKONG! Chirp Chirp They're playing my song. All of your mothers wear army boots. KONG CRASH! BAP! Why do you doit, Garfield? I loooove the

20 May 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I hate Monday. That's the day people go back to work, kids go back to school... And diets begin.

21 May 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you're too fat. I can't help it. I have a slow metabolism. A reeeeeeal slow metabolism.

22 May 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you know what I hate about diets? Eating is social. But when you diet, you diet alone.

23 May 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I think I have a way out of this diet. I know I'm too fat for a cat... But, I'm just right for a bumblebee!

24 May 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

How goes the diet, Garfield? ROAR What was that?! That was my stomach, you twit.

25 May 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

AYIEEEEE! Everyone's a critic. cough weeze

26 May 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

* Oh no! I've tangle wit that dog before. If I take my eyes off him, he'll clobber me! I can't stand it. WHONGO! Why did you do that? I hit him back first.

27 May 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I hate mondays. Garfield, I don't know why you hate mondays so much. BLAT! SEE?!!!

28 May 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, Garfield. I made your coffee just like you like it. Strong.

29 May 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh shucks, I just spilled the only cup of coffee we have in the house. -

30 May 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

* ROWR * WHOCK! Garfield, where did the flowers come from? Well, why don't we just read the note?

31 May 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

You like to scratch things, don't you, Garfield? Does a chicken like to peck? Sure I do! Good! Scratch my back. NO CLAWS! NO CLAWS! If I didn't use claws, I wouldn't be scratching, now would I?

1 June 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Scratch higher, Garfield. Higher! Get off the curtains, Garfield. I was just following instructions.

2 June 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

grrrr RRRRRR Jon's best shoes! Sometimes Odie makes me so angry, I could just scream. ARRRRRGH!

3 June 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, boys and girls. Good morning, uncle Roy. I love you just the way you are. I love you too, uncle Roy. I also love mondays. Stick it in your ear, uncle Roy.

4 June 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, boys and girls. I love you just the way you are. Everybody loves uncle Roy. You are kind, thoughtful, obedient and considerate. Not to mention intelligent, witty and charming. We all know uncle Roy is a liar, but we don'tcare.

5 June 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Here we are in a real factory, boys and girls. Let's see what we can learn... ARRRRRGH! WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! SHUT THIS **!* THING OFF. Uncle Roy is learning never to wear loose clothing around big machinery.

6 June 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, boys and girls. You are probably wondering where my dog, Bob, is this morning. Wellll...it seems old Bob bit Mr. Blue Jeans the mailman once too often... So Bob has decided to move to a local research facility to pursue acareer as a laborato

7 June 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's play pretend, boys and girls. Let's pretend it's contract negotiation time for uncle Roy... And there are big green monsters who want to take uncle Roy off the air... And the only thing that can save uncle Roy are letters saying howmuch you love unc

8 June 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Looks who's come to visit, boys and girls. It's Jerry the Cat. Hi, Jerry. Hi, uncle Roy. How are you? I'm fine, How are you? Uncle Roy is getting pretty bizarre. How's your mother? She's fine. Who'd be dumb enough to believe there is atalking cat?

9 June 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Jon, Look at this! Hey, Jon. Watch me! Jon doesn't pay any attention to me anymore. Watch this. Hey, Jon! Hey, Jon! Hey, Garfield? What, Jon? I don't pay any attention to me anymore.

10 June 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't you dare. I don't know what you're talking about.

11 June 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Every morning for nearly six years now, I fix raisin toast for Garfield. He loves his raisin toast. What's in the drawer? A six-year supply of raisins.

12 June 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

* crack OH, YUK! It's not often you see a yolk with a beak.

13 June 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

How would you like your bacon prepared, Garfield? Let's shoot for recognizable. Jon is a terrible cook. He could ruin cereal. Bacon flambe, yum yum.

14 June 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

An interesting thing about food... One minute it may be haute cuisine. But the instant you put it into the sink, it becomes garbage.

15 June 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's your cereal, Garfield. What's the matter? Aren't you hungry? Not really. I think one of the flakes just moved.

16 June 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to kick Odie off this table. And he'll probably sprain something and have to go to the vet. And I'll get lonely without him. And Jon will be angry without me. And the humane society will want to lynch me. But nobody saidlife was a rose garden.

17 June 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I can't believe I turn six years old tomorrow. Some cats say, "Life begins at six," but I don't buy that. Old age may take its toll on some cats, but it's not going to happen to me! I'm going to do something about it! Right after my nap.

18 June 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Happy birthday, Garfield! I got you a rubber chicken. They're lots of fun! We'll see about that. SMACK SPLUT Chicken, you and I are going to have some good times.

19 June 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

You need a name, fella. Let's see...what do you name a rubber chicken? rrrrr "Stretch"!

20 June 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

peck peck peck SMACK! I'll have some ham and eggs, and my friend, Stretch, will have a bowl of rubber bands.

21 June 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

peck peck peck STOP PECKING ME WITH THAT RUBBER CHICKEN! Aw, look, you just hurt Stretch's feelings. He brings out the worst in me.

22 June 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Pooky, I would like you to meet Stretch, my rubber chicken. Quite frankly, Pooky and Stretch don't have a lot of personality. But you have to trade off something when you surround yourself with good listeners.

23 June 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

YAWN It's bed-bye time again. Tonight I think I'll take a deep breath, slowly close my eyes and savor the heavy feeling of sleep gradually overtaking my body. PAT! PAT! PAT! Then again it would be fun to have a cup of coffee and tossand turn for a couple

24 June 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I think you're too mean to Odie. I never want to see you hit him again. Oh, very well. KONK!

25 June 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to the store, Garfield. If you lay a paw on Odie, I'll spank you. BOING

26 June 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I swear you've done everything to Odie a cat could do to a dog. Au contraire. PLINK Never underestimate me.

27 June 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Odie! I found your nose! Let me put it on for you, pal. squik squik Very nice. I like you as a rat terrier.

28 June 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, well, well. I see you're eating my food, Odie. Now what are going to do with you? We are going to kick you into next week! That's what we're going to do! PUNT Where's Odie? Somewhere over saturday.

29 June 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Lunch isn't the same without Odie. He always slips up behind me, barks loudly and makes me fall into my food. I guess I 'll just have to make do. BLUT

30 June 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I believe you're gaining weight, Garfield. I believe your eyeballs are shrinking. Look at that soft belly. That's just water retention. Now why do you suppose you're looking larger? An optical illusion? The older you get', the biggeryou get. Bigger-boned

1 July 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I have this nagging feeling I'm forgetting something. WHUMP! Oh yes, I forgot I kicked Odie into next week, last week.

2 July 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Pooky loves me, I can tell. He doesn't talk, he doesn't walk, he doesn't think. a little nothing goes a long way.

3 July 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm working up a routine for the fence tonight, Pooky. Tell me what you think of it. I knew a teddy bear who was so ugly, even the tide wouldn't take it out. BLAT!

4 July 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Good evening, ladies and germs. I'd like you to meet Pooky, my gag writer. SPLAT Welcome to the show biz, kid.

5 July 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Jump through the hoop, Pooky. Hey, Garfield, what's happening? I'm pretending to teach Pooky tricks. -

6 July 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Butterflies are versatile. They can caress the air. They can kiss the dew from the flowers. And they can embed themselves in radiators. FWAP!

7 July 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

scritch scritch I'll be darned. These labels are loose. * It's the old "Cats get the tuna while the owner get the cat food" gag. Surprise, Garfield! I fixed us a tuna noodle casserole. Oh, well, I guess a half a surprise is betterthan none at al

8 July 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I know you hate mondays. But everything that could possibly happen to you has already happened. Au contraire, power failure breath.

9 July 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Since we can't watch TV during a power failure, Garfield, what say we listen to the radio? Ha ha! Do I feel stupid. That's because you ARE stupid. CLICK CLICK How about a game of cards? No, thanks. I'm just going to sit here and cry for awhile.

10 July 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I've learned something from this power failure, Garfield. When you are deprived of your eyesight, isn't it amazing how much keener your other senses become? Huh?

11 July 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't worry, Garfield. The power failure may have spoiled the food in the refrigerator... But we still have lots of canned goods. Now where's our electric opener? ARRRGH!

12 July 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield, as long as the power is off, we might as well go out. I have my bowling ball. Let's go bowling. Get your fingers out of my eyes and your thumb out of my mouth, and I'll consider it.

13 July 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Great! The power's back on! I can't think of anything worse than a power failure. How about two power failures?

14 July 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Z BABOOM! SHOOP ZOOM Allright you guys, get out of here. It's only a little thunderstorm. Pets...they're just like kids. CRACK KABOOM! Urf! Give me some room, will you? Hey! Your feet are cold!

15 July 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

And now, a word from our sponsor. Hey, America. Here's a cat food we bet your cat will love. You're on.

16 July 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, old buddy. ARRRGH! That's only a piece of lint, Garfield. It sure does a great spider impression.

17 July 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

BARK! BARK! BARK! Odie isn't really stupid. BONK He's just chased one too many parked cars.

18 July 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, you turkeys, I'm prepared for anything. * AROOO * CRASH!

19 July 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, if you mess with my new fish, you'll regret it. What's so regrettable about a little seafood snack? Jon's going to pay for this.

20 July 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, well, Odie. I see you derive great pleasure from other's misfortune. So do I! SNAP!

21 July 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, where are yoooooou? Get out of the breadbox, Garfield! Get out from under the chair, Garfield! Garfield, you know I hate it when you hide from me! Oh, well. I'll find him sooner or later. There's only so many places a fatslob like him can hide.

22 July 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

You sleep too much, Garfield. Sometimes I do feel bad about sleeping so much. What with all the insomniacs in China.

23 July 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

What Odie needs is a good kick. Uh-oh! Nap attack! I don't even want to know. Z

24 July 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Z SNORT! SNORT! Z

25 July 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Z Whimper No, Odie, Garfield isn't dead. He's just a hardcore sleeper.

26 July 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Are you going to sleep all day, Garfield? Let me check my social calendar. Let's see...there's high tea with the Queen of England tomorrow, but nothing today. Z Ask a stupid question...

27 July 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

YAWN What a great night's sleep! I'm ready to attack a fresh new day. Good evening, Garfield. What's on the late movie?

28 July 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, Garfield. I'm hungry. How would you like your egg prepared? I would like it hatched. Raise it to young chickenhood on a diet of cracked corn, barley and sorghum molasses. Then barbecue the dude.I should think a steak sauce and honey glaze wo

29 July 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

There's only one way to beat the heat today. Where are you going, Garfield? To the beach. Hello, beach.

30 July 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

There's only one thing I hate about the beach. PONK! It's always so crowded.

31 July 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

GREAT! Surf's up!

1 August 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I know you like to have fun... But you look ridiculous. Stand aside there, fella. Here comes my next wave.

2 August 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, everyone out of the pool! I'm going swimming. You! the one with the whistle-out! I don't need a lifeguard.

3 August 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

* Rats. I thought you were going swimming. The water was polluted.

4 August 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello, what have we here? I think I'll draw something. Hey, Garfield! This is a great drawing! Do you know what his means?! A cat who can draw! We'll make millions. You'll be famous! We'll tour the world! Live out a suitcase! You'll dothousands of drawing

5 August 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

NO! NO! NO! DON'T MAKE ME DO IT! ARRRGH! SOMEONE HELP ME! Sometimes it's hard to fight primal instincts.

6 August 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello, lunch. Those bird's nets are deceptively large.

7 August 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Why do I do it? Why do I climb up trees when I can't climb down? The neighborhood always turns out to see me. Then the fire department comes to get me. Then my picture ends up in the newspaper. I just answered my own question.

8 August 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh good! Here comes a fireman to save me! Terrific. Why do I always get the fat ones? And the ones who are sensitive about their weight?

9 August 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm getting sleepy. If birds can sleep in trees, so can I. Z

10 August 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

If I truly believe I'm a bird, I might be able to flap my arms and fly out of this tree. I'm a bird! I'm a bird! I hope birds' bones knit quickly.

11 August 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Ballet slippers? Uh-oh, Jon's getting weird on me. See the ballet slippers I'm giving my niece, Garfield? I wish I had ballet slippers. I'll let this niece has never been on pointe. Or done a jete. Or a pirouette. POW! Whathappened? I had a ballet slipper

12 August 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

WHAP! Sometime, somewhere, when you are least expecting it...Monday strikes.

13 August 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

What's wrong with this picture? There's no food in your bowl, Garfield. Give the man a cigar! Fill it up, turkey. I hate it when lower life forms are condescending to me.

14 August 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I've been taken! There was only one kernel of popcorn in this whole bag. Oh, well, one's better than nothing. POP!

15 August 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, fern. How about a drink of water, little friend? How nice, Garfield, I'm glad to see you take an interest in my fern. I'm fattening it for slaughter.

16 August 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Where is it written that humans must give cats milk in saucers?! Why not in cups or bowls or pans? SPLASH SEE?! I think Garfield is trying to tell me something.

17 August 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

What is it, Garfield? Pick me up. Too fat to hop on the table, huh? One of these days, I'll learn.

18 August 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

SCRIK SLUCK SHLONK TUCK I love rubber pets.

19 August 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm bored, bored, bored. I need something to spice up my week. THAT'S IT. The caped avenger returns.

20 August 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Uh-oh. RUN FOR COVER, ODIE! Make way for the caped avenger. Garfield is fantasizing again.

21 August 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

The caped avenger seeks out evil wherever it may lurk. As long as it isn't in dark scary places.

22 August 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

The caped avenger will now descend upon an old archenemy. BLAT! The caped avenger forgot to correct for crosswind.

23 August 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Be careful, mere mortal man! That food may be poisoned! The caped avenger will taste it for you. It's okay. (burp) Enjoy.

24 August 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

The caped avenger pauses to wash his cape. The hankied avenger plods on.

25 August 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Hmmm. This ladder gives me a great idea. I'm going to glue my feet to the ceiling. And blow Jon's mind. This is going to be fun. Unless, of course, Jon doesn't see me. Unless, of course, Jon goes to bed.

26 August 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Guess what, Garfield! We're going to the farm this week. Whoopty-doo. Going to the farm is like going to the zoo... Where they eat everything but th cats.

27 August 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Dad! Mom! Jon Boy! Jonny! I wish they'd call me by my real name. You're right, dummy.

28 August 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Doc Boy! Don't call me Doc Boy! What's with him, dad? Ever since he started wearing long pants, he's hated the be called "Boy". How long has that been? Since last thursday. A late bloomer.

29 August 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I know we're brothers, Doc Boy, but do you think we've grown apart since I moved to the city? Don't call me Doc Boy. How would you like it if I called you a city slicker? I wouldn't like that. DOC BOY! DOC BOY! DOC BOY! SLICKER! SLICKER!SLICKER! Boys! Boy

30 August 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, Garfield, this week you learned where bacon comes from. Bacon comes from a pig. And you learned where milk comes from. Milk comes from the udder of a cow. Would you like to know where eggs come from? I would as soon that remain amystery.

31 August 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you know what worries me, Garfield? My grandfather was bald, my dad is bald and my brother is balding. Not to worry. You are probably adopted.

1 September 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, when we get to the campsite, what's the first thing you'd like to do? Go home. Here we are, boys. We're camping miles from nowhere. I'd say we're closer than that. CLICK Oh no! Odie locked himself in the car! The poor littleguy could suffocate!

2 September 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Pwoooock, pwock, pwock, pwock. Don't look, Stretch! It's not a pretty sight!

3 September 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Pwoooock, pwock, pwock, pwock. PUKUCK! PUKUCK! PUKUCK! My rubber friend, Stretch, objects to your cannibalistic ways. I'd like to have just one meal in peace.

4 September 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, do you know how silly you look carrying that stupid rubber chicken around all the time? FFFFF Uh-oh, fella. Now you did it. You made Stretch mad.

5 September 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Are you in there, Garfield? There ain't nobody here but us chickens. I WILL NOT SPEAK TO YOUR RUBBER CHICKEN! Think of Stretch as my social secretary.

6 September 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Here, Stretch, have an apple. STOMP! POO! DONG!

7 September 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, guys, get on your mark, get st, go! Competition is apparently not a driving force in their lives.

8 September 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello, I'm Nermal, the... "The world's cutest kitten." I know, I know. Why, hello, Nermal. Aren't you cute. I want some attention, too. BONK Aw, poor little guy! Well, two can play the sympathy game. CRASH! That was one of my bestplates. That wa

9 September 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I love your purr, Garfield. Purrr I wish there were a way to get the purr without the cat. Purrr But I guess you have to take the bad with the good. You're treading on thin ice, fella.

10 September 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Ready for a gourmet meal, Garfield? WHAM! I hate spiders.

11 September 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

One nice thing about confiding in pets is that they are non-judgmental. Garfield, I got a speeding ticket today. SMACK! That was a stupid thing to do.

12 September 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Why, thank you, Garfield! PSHHH

13 September 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Hee, hee, there's more than one way to skin a cat. WHIRRRRR! How prophetic.

14 September 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Rats, Garfield fell asleep in the middle of the door. Have you ever tried to pick up a sleeping cat? It's impossible.

15 September 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

* Good morning, Garfield. Good morning, Jon. My rubber chicken, Stretch, needs a bath too. SPLOOSH! Sign here for this package, mister. PAPER! BONK HEY, WORLD! I'M TAKING A BATH! COME ON IN AND WATCH! I'll be right back. I'm surethe man's joking, Reba.

16 September 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

It's diet time, Garfield. I was afraid of that.

17 September 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

In order to properly diet, you must change your eating habits, Garfield. You must look at food differently. Ha ha ha, Garfield.

18 September 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's measure your tummy, Garfield. When you take four inches of your waist, you may go off your diet. And that doesn't count.

19 September 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

You may have coffee on your diet, Garfield. Thank goodness. This diet isn't going to be as bad as I thought.

20 September 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

For once in my life, a diet worked. I'm going to treat myself to a potato chip. poomp! Rats.

21 September 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's see how I did on my diet this week. Whimper. Oh, shut up.

22 September 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, sunshine, poke poke poke Hey, Garfield, what's all this junk in your bed? This isn't junk, this is my stuff. I use this brass lizard to scratch my back. And here is some extra cat hair for your food, and a double corncobthat is a family heir

23 September 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

It's Monday morning. A cold. gray, dizzy Monday morning. Some dude with a trumpet is wailin' some blues on the radio and my breakfast is cold. * * It's all so perfectly depressing I can't wipe this smile off my face. *

24 September 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Hold it right there. I always want to remember you like this. As the kind, benevolent provider. Trying to poison me with that cat food!

25 September 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

munch smack slurp Uh-oh! Quickfood.

26 September 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

BARK! BLUT! Twenty years from now I'm going to look back on this and LAAAAAAUGH. rowr fffft!!

27 September 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

What are you doing with your teddy bear, Garfield? Pooky and I are having lunch. We do everything together. I swear. You cats have the strangest habits.

28 September 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, come on, Garfield. The cat food isn't that bad. Then let's see how YOU like it! mmm good. YOU LIE!

29 September 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I thought fat people were jolly.

30 September 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Look at all those poor saps trudging to work on a Monday morning. Ha ha ha, you poor saps, you have to go to work and I don't 'cause I'm a cat! If I weren't me, I wouldn't like me very much.

1 October 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

It's a real rat race out there. Everybody striving to get ahead. I think I'll go take a nap and fall off the pace.

2 October 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

SUCK He's so lazy, I could just cry. Burp

3 October 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I got you something special, Garfield. It's too light for food, and you can't wrap sleep. It can't be THAT special.

4 October 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Good night, Garfield. *CLICK* Don't let the thing in the closet get you. Don't do that to me!

5 October 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I think I'll try a two-and-a-half nap attack in the pike position with a half twist. I'll settle for a belly-flop. Z

6 October 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

HEY, HUBERT! REBA! COME HERE, QUICK! Play cowboy and horsy, boys. Do a handstand, Garfield. Balance on Garfield, Odie. Sad. He should get out of the house more.

7 October 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

This feels like a great day to spend in bed. Hop up, Garfield. We're gooing on a picnic! Give the bugs and snakes my regrets. I ain't going. I'll get you for this, Monday!

8 October 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

What's this? I packed the microwave for our picnic. Well, I'm leaving it here. WHA...! If the television stays, I stay.

9 October 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Wait 'til you taste my cherry pie, Garfield. It's the world's best. I agree. 22 million ants can't all be wrong.

10 October 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

The picnic's all set, Garfield. Did I forget anything? You forgot the brick for the tablecloth.

11 October 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

That pesky wind won't spoil our picnic now, Garfield. Where's the mustard? Under the third rock from the left.

12 October 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, Garfield, the ants ate my cherry pie. The wind blew the food everywhere. DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! What else could possibly go wrong? You said it!

13 October 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

MUNCH SLURP SMACK GULP Burp. Oh, boy, I ate too much pizza. Z SHUFFLE SHUFFLE SHUFFLE Who are you guys? We are your pizza nightmare. I'm the pepperoni, and these here are the onions and the anchovies. And who are you? I'm thematto ball you ate three weeks

14 October 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, folks! My oh my, it's a beautiful Monday morning out there. Our weather radar shows clear skies with no rain in sight. Except over one house in the suburbs.

15 October 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Our satellite picture shows clouds over the northeast, sunny skies in the southwest... Traffic backed up on 12th street... And my little niece, Sally, playing in her sandbox i Texas. Kind of scary, isn't it?

16 October 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Wuth. You can always tell when Odie has been eating out of the refrigerator. He gets his tongue stuck in the ice cube trax. Wuth.

17 October 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

GULP MUNCH SLURP Why do you eat so much, Garfield? In a former life I was a sanitary landfill.

18 October 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Clouds are so interesting. I love to find shapes in them. There's a chicken cloud, and a hamburger cloud, and a bicycle cloud. And I do believe that one's a rain cloud.

19 October 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

What do you think of my new frame, Garfield? ARRRGH! Thank heavens! For a moment I thought it was a mirror.

20 October 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

PUCUCK! ONE MORE STUNT LIKE THAT AND I'M GOING TO WRING YOUR RUBBER CHICKEN'S NECK! I'm sorry I snapped at you, Garfield? Will you forgive me? I forgive you. SMACK! WHAP! But Stretch doesn't!

21 October 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Here comes Arlene. She's crazy about me. Hey, Arlene, what's my most outstanding feature? You're fat. Did you hear that? She admires me for my body.

22 October 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you love me more than you love food, Garfield? Do chickens have lips? No. Bingo.

23 October 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Aren't you ashamed of that space between your teeth? Of course not! It's a sign of sensitivity. I'd be sensitive about it too. I don't know what I see in him.

24 October 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't you just love sunrise, Garfield? The chirping of the birds...the crisp morning air. The sound of bacon sizzling in the skillet...the smell of fresh brewed coffee. I get the feeling we're watching two different channels.

25 October 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Why do you like bachelorhood, Garfield? I can sum it up in a word... "uncomplicated" That sounds simple. Simple, that's me.

26 October 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

What is love to you, Garfield? Love is that exhilarating feeling you get when a vision of beauty comes walking to you. In fact, I just had that experience. When you saw me? When I saw my mirror this morning.

27 October 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

POO! KONK! The harder you work for something, the more you appreciate it.

28 October 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, there's a mouse in the house, and I'm just sick about it. It chewed the toe out of my sock. I want you to catch it and kill it. Now I'M sick about it.

29 October 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, mouse. Good morning, cat. Make yourself at home. Gladly. But first, some house rules.

30 October 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, cat, gimme a drumstick. Sure. Enjoy.

31 October 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

What's your name, mouse? OK, gee. I don't think I have a name. Oh, come on, what do people say when they meet you? My name is Eek!

1 November 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

We gotta give you a name, mouse. How about Crusher? How about Bruiser? How about Cat killer? How about Squeak? I like it.

2 November 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Here, Squeak, let me strap this key to your back. What's this for? I don't remember buying you a toy mouse, Garfield. Got the picture? You're a genius!

3 November 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

A dimly lit street corner at midnight. This puts me in the mood for some snappy patter. Hey, good-lookin!. What's happening? Who are you? Names aren't important. Some call me a soldier of fortune, some call me a renaissance man. You cancall me "Majo

4 November 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Hide! Here comes my owner! Why are we hiding? Jon wants me to eat you and I don't want to. You're so nice! Thanks for thinking of me. I was thinking of me.

5 November 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, Squeak, here's the game plan. Every now and then, you show up in front of Jon and dance around until I appear on the scene and chase you away. In return, you get a nice home to live in, and I get to keep my job. This is a strangeworld we live in. Yo

6 November 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's your cat food, Garfield. A MOUSE! That must be the surprise at the bottom of the box.

7 November 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Squeak, I found a great place for you to live! Jon will never think to look for you in this old log cabin. Nice, huh? Is it in a good school system?

8 November 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Thanks for the house, Garfield. A man needs a place to call his own. This is great! Don't mention it, kid. -

9 November 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Listen carefully, Squeak. This is a mousetrap. Never, NEVER touch the tab in the center of it. You mean, this little tab here? This boy does not take direction well. Hey! That hurt!

10 November 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

WAH HA HA HA! What a great sundae! Nothing can spoil my day. SCRATCH SCRATCH OH NO! MONDAY IS COMING!

11 November 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD! COME HERE! "Garfield" this, "Garfield" tah. I'm sick of my name. HEY, FLEABAG! COME HERE! Then again: "Garfield" does have a certain ring on it.

12 November 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

OH NO! A FLEA! I'M GETTING YOU A FLEA COLLAR, GARFIELD. Let's not be too hasty here. Look at those distinctive yellow and green markings there. This flea is a member of a rare species of vegetarians.

13 November 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, there's your new flea collar, Garfield. Wait a minute, there's a disclaimer on this box. "Warning: while this collar will repel fleas..." "It has been known to attract sharks."

14 November 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

DON'T TAKE THAT FLEA COLLAR OFF, GARFIELD! Who needs it? -

15 November 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

You have a pretty grim flea problem there, Odie. That's not a very strong flea collar. -

16 November 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Did I ever tell you about my crazy uncle Berle? He thought he was a dog. The poor guy was always exhausted. He kept chasing himself up trees.

17 November 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Can we talk? I would like to speak to you about how wonderful cats are. Unlike dogs, they always land on their feet. They are more calm than dogs. ROWR! Every movement is a deliberate statement of grace and beauty. And when it comesto coordination, they a

18 November 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Doc Boy! How's my favorite little brother? Oh, things are pretty much the same here, wild parties, good times, the usual... Uh, you say you're coming to visit? It's put up or shut up time.

19 November 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

What am I going to do, Garfield? My brother is coming to visit from the farm. He thinks I live life in the fast lane. "Life in the parking lot" is more like it. I don't know where he got the idea. It was when you told him you werenegotiating mov

20 November 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

There's my brother now. * DING DONG Welcome to the big city, doc Boy! Let the good times roll! Another soda pop? No, I think I'll have some more of that fun-filled popcorn. I'm going to like Doc Boy.

21 November 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm so embarrassed. Doc Boy comes all the way from the farm just to find out what a loser I am. The truth always hurts. Hey, where are all those "good times" you promised me? What would you like to do? Let's go to the airport and watchthe airpla

22 November 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, by the way, Doc Boy, I've fixed us up on a double date. HEY, GREAT! What's a double date? That's when you and I go on a date together. Gee, it seems like it would be more fun if some girls came along. There's no hope.

23 November 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

DOC BOY! OUR DATES ARE HERE! EEEEEEK! Can we talk? Can we laugh?

24 November 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Z SNORT! BLINK BLINK BLINK Rats! It's 4 A.M. and I'm wide awake. Fortunately, I know what to do. CLICK ARRRRRGH! If I can't sleep, neither will anyone else.

25 November 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder who that could be, Doc Boy. DING DONG . Dad! Mom! What are you doing here!? We missed you boys, okay? A little paint, a few curtains, a woman's touch, this could be nice! My dad, the sentimental fool. My mom, the cliche.

26 November 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Your visit is such a surprise, mom. When's the last time you and dad went out? We haven't been off the farm since '53. I don't believe that. Good heavens! What's this? That's an indoor toilet, dad. WOO-HA! AIN'T SCIENCE SOMETHIN'? FLUSHNOW I believe it.

27 November 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

You awake, Jon? click OF COURSE NOT, DAD! IT'S 5 A.M.! WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP? I GOTTA MILK SOMETHING! I'm leaving.

28 November 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

You forgot this when you left home, Doc Boy. Thanks, mom, I haven't slept a wink without it. Whatcha got there, Doc Boy? NOTHING! NOTHING! IT'S NOTHING! Could it be a shred of your old blankie? Careful what you say about blankies,fella.

29 November 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Uh, mom...I wouldn't open that if I were you. EEEK! SOMETHING IN THERE MOVED! I'm sure it was just an optical illusion. GO ahead, tell her how the lunch meat has evolved into an intelligent life form.

30 November 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

So long, son. We got a run. I miss my cows. Give them my best. SEE YUH, DOC BOY! THANKS FOR DECORATING MY HOUSE, MOM! Hello...undecorators? Jon is a man of good taste.

1 December 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

PILLOW FIGHT! WHAP! You stay here. I'll be right back. AYIEEEEE WHONGO! What did you have in that pillow? I know this six-foot chicken.

2 December 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I'm going to a cartoonists' convention, and the motel where I'm staying won't accept pets. Sorry, Odie. You can't go. Garfield, YOU are a pet. snap! Rats! I keep forgetting.

3 December 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm leaving for the cartoonists' convention now, Garfield. There's a week's worth of food for you. A week's worth, huh? It was more like 11 seconds' worth.

4 December 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I hope Jon comes back from that convention soon. I hope I can survive this week on my own. CLICK I hope this door isn't locked.

5 December 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

What a tragic scenario..."Owner leaves for week...cat locks self out of house...cat starves in front porch". Hey, wait a minute? I control my destiny! I don't have to starve on the front porch! "Cat starves in bushes".

6 December 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

As long as I'm locked out of the house, I guess I'll strike out in search of food. Gee, this neighborhood doesn't look familiar to me. Oh, no! Where am I?

7 December 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I gotta figure a way to meet some chicks. You got a problem there, guy? Striking manly poses doesn't seem to be doing it.

8 December 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

* * Rats! There's an alley full of mean guys waiting to beat me up! Maybe they won't hurt me if I look mean, too. Hey! It's working! Someday, I'm going to learn precisely where that fine line is, and I'm never going to cross itagain!

9 December 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield! I'm back from the convention! Where are you, big guy? ...Garfield? Oh, no! This is terrible! Garfield didn't get locked out or anything, did he, Odie? Yup.

10 December 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello, Garfield. Do I know you? Let me give you a hint...sit up straight, Don't talk with your mouth full. Wake up, sleepyhead. MOM!

11 December 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

It's great seeing you again, mom. Yes, it's been a while. It seems like only yesterday. This was your first bed. It HAS been a while.

12 December 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Mom, I don't recognize this place. I thought I was born in the kitchen of an Italian restaurant. It closed years ago, darling. It's all gone! Where's the pasta? The people? The pasta? The excitement? The pasta? You always did love to eat.Sniff...old habit

13 December 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Father, this is your grandson, Garfield. He will be staying with us for a while. If you're going to stay here, boy, you're going to be a mouser like the rest of us. So this is my grandson and you son, huh? Maybe they switched kittens inthe maternity ward.

14 December 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

If I have to be a mouser to stay here, grandpa, I'll do it! I have made a name for myself in the mousing game. Then eat that mouse. ARRRGH!!! Please! Please don't make me eat it! I'd rather swallow my pride than that mouse.

15 December 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

RRRRR Okay, okay. Let's get something to eat. No cats allowed! I've been human for 10 minutes now, but I haven't forgotten my roots.

16 December 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Gee, I miss having Garfield around. I even miss the abuse. RRR! Thanks, Odie, but it just isn't the same.

17 December 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I'd love to catch your mice, grandpa, But I haven't seen any worthy of my time, got anything bigger? Bring on the training mouse! Me and my big mouth.

18 December 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm sorry I can't stay, mom. It's for the best, dear. You'd better hurry home. It's almost Christmas. Christmas! I almost forgot! I also forgot I'm lost.

19 December 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, this is just great. I'm cold, I'm hungry, I'm tired... It's snowing to beat the band, and I haven't the foggiest idea where I am. While everyone else is having a white Christmas, I'm going to have a white lost.

20 December 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm cold, I'm hungry and I'm tired. They say, in cases like this, you should fight sleep. I say, why fight an old friend?

21 December 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield! Wake up! You're near home! Huh? Mom? Wha...?! Wow...it never looked better.

22 December 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

This is going to be one sad Christmas without Garfield. SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH BLAT! GARFIELD! SPEAK TO ME! ARE YOU OKAY?! Actually, yes. I just thought it would be more dramatic this way.

23 December 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I missed you so much, Garfield! This is going to be the best Christmas ever, because you're here. Jon? You never realize how much you love someone until they go away. tap tap tap Jon? Jon? Jon? What is it, Garfield? Read my lips. I'mhungry!

24 December 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

MERRY CHRISTMAS, BOYS. There's nothing like having the whole family together at Christmas, right? -

25 December 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield, a late Christmas package arrived for you from my mom. OH NO! Why, it's your annual Christmas sweater! I'll bet you thought she forgot. There was always the hope. You should send her a "thank you" now. I'll get a letter bombout imm

26 December 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

I'll give you 10 zillion dollars for that cup of coffee. There you go again! Every, I say, EVERY MORNING you steal my coffee. GUSH Aw, isn't that sweet? Our little ritual.

27 December 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Why is it my coffee cups keep disappearing? AHA! I must have a word with the maid.

28 December 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

When you own pets, you get hardened to the fact they will be around your food. Lose something, Garfield? Nope, here's my stripe. -

29 December 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

It's that time of year again. This year I resolve to lose weight, exercise more and sleep less. Then what are you going to do after you've accomplished all that? I suppose you're going to be nice to Odie and kowtow to Jon and lick themailman's boots! I DO

30 December 1984
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield, get up. A new year is almost upon us! Great! Wake me next year. Come on. I'm having a party tonight and I want you to be there. If you insist.

31 December 1984
 




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