* ARRRGH! b-b-b-b When he comes around, he'll thank me for breaking up the monotony of his dreary job.
1 February 1984
Come on, mailman, deliver that mail. And when you do, I'm going to leap on you and all that will be left will be your mailbag and that silly-looking hat of yours. Has the mailman come yet, Garfield? No, he's still standing at the end ofthe sidewalk sobbin
2 February 1984
SLAM! Rats! I missed him! Apparently, no one ever told him to look both ways before crossing the street. SCREECH
3 February 1984
Be a good boy and fetch the mail, Garfield. Oui, mon capitaine. RIP ROWT CLOBBER BLAP Did you hurt him bad? Oh, just a few lacerations, abrasions and internal injuries. I was in a good mood.
4 February 1984
plop! GLUP! ptoo ptoo SPLUT! Salvage the pride, Garfield, salvage the pride.
5 February 1984
Hey, Garfield, it says here people can perform superhuman feats of strength during periods of great stress. What baloney! By the way, I'm taking you to the vet today.
6 February 1984
You can't hide from forever, Garfield. I'm going to find you and take you to the vet. You may be sneaky, but I'm sneakier. "Sneaky" is my middle name.
7 February 1984
Garfield can't resist lasagna, and when he comes to eat it, I'm going to catch him and take him to the vet. SMACK GULP SLURP That cat has the longest lips I've ever seen.
8 February 1984
Now where could Garfield be? He's not in tie cookies, and he certainly won't be in the doggie biscuits. POO! It's a good thing I can't read.
9 February 1984
Aha! There you are, Garfield! You're going to the vet now. Sorry, Odie. SMACK
10 February 1984
I wish I could find Garfield's hiding place so I could take him to the vet. He's sure hiding in a good place. A good place Not a smart place But a good place.
11 February 1984
I can't believe my luck. This is too perfect. I will now slide down this banister and make a four-point landing on Odie down there. BANZAI! RATS! I can see the headline now: "Twist in plot fatal to local cat".
12 February 1984
Wouldn't it be great if everything could talk? I'd get out of bed and the wall would say, "Good morning, Jon." and the sink would say, "Good morning, Jon." That wouldn't be so hot. Every time a light bulb burned out, it would be like a
13 February 1984
If people had hair all over their bodies, would they wear clothing? Probably not.
14 February 1984
What would happen if people were cats and cats were people? That's an easy one. Dogs would soon be extinct.
15 February 1984
I was wondering, Garfield... What if being fat were considered attractive? What do you mean, "what if," bozo?
16 February 1984
I wonder what life would be like if we never had to eat. That would take some getting used to. For a time, mothers would fix their families three square nothings a day.
17 February 1984
What if there were never a Leonardo da Vinci? That would be awful! The da Vinci kids would have been orphans.
18 February 1984
RING! BRING! SMASH! DING DING DING DING STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! GASP! COUGH WHEEzeeee SHOOP! Rats! Too late! Now I'm wide awake.
19 February 1984
I hate mondays. This is your conscience speaking. It's not nice to hate mondays. Look at it as starting a fresh week with a clean slate. I hate mondays.
20 February 1984
This is your conscience speaking. Don't you dare push Odie off the table! That would be inhumane and cruel. Then YOU push him off. POKE! That was kind of fun.
21 February 1984
Why do you follow me around, conscience? If I don't you won't be very nice. If I put this cork in your bottle would you be trapped? Yes, but that wouldn't be very nice. That wasn't very nice.
22 February 1984
Now that my conscience is trapped in this bottle, I can walk away and enjoy myself. That's okay, go ahead, have fun, don't worry about me. I'll just sit here in the dark...all alone. You're very good. One of the best.
23 February 1984
Let's have some fun, Garfield. Take one step back. Okay. I thought consciences were supposed to be nice! I'm on break.
24 February 1984
I have my conscience trapped in this bottle. I'll just set it by Jon. Get a haircut.
25 February 1984
tappity tappity tappity Good evening, ladies and germs. In our audience tonight is a boy scout delegation from Booga-Booga. Welcome, guys. I'm dedicating my first song to you. Appropriately enough it's called, "I'm just a boy scouting forthe key to y
26 February 1984
What a glorious morning! I could really enjoy a morning like this. If I could only get this catch out of my back.
27 February 1984
I gotta get help for this catch in my back. Hey, guys. What we have here is a failure to communicate.
28 February 1984
Maybe a good night's sleep will help me get rid of this catch in my back. Maybe not.
29 February 1984