* - ARRRGH! b-b-b-b - When he comes around, he'll thank me for breaking up the monotony of his dreary job.
1 February 1984
Come on, mailman, deliver that mail. - And when you do, I'm going to leap on you and all that will be left will be your mailbag and that silly-looking hat of yours. - Has the mailman come yet, Garfield? No, he's still standing at the end of
2 February 1984
SLAM! - Rats! I missed him! - Apparently, no one ever told him to look both ways before crossing the street. SCREECH
3 February 1984
Be a good boy and fetch the mail, Garfield. Oui, mon capitaine. - RIP ROWT CLOBBER BLAP - Did you hurt him bad? Oh, just a few lacerations, abrasions and internal injuries. I was in a good mood.
4 February 1984
plop! - - GLUP! - ptoo ptoo - SPLUT! - Salvage the pride, Garfield, salvage the pride.
5 February 1984
Hey, Garfield, it says here people can perform superhuman feats of strength during periods of great stress. - What baloney! - By the way, I'm taking you to the vet today.
6 February 1984
You can't hide from forever, Garfield. I'm going to find you and take you to the vet. - You may be sneaky, but I'm sneakier. - "Sneaky" is my middle name.
7 February 1984
Garfield can't resist lasagna, and when he comes to eat it, I'm going to catch him and take him to the vet. - SMACK GULP SLURP - That cat has the longest lips I've ever seen.
8 February 1984
Now where could Garfield be? - He's not in tie cookies, and he certainly won't be in the doggie biscuits. - POO! It's a good thing I can't read.
9 February 1984
Aha! There you are, Garfield! You're going to the vet now. - - Sorry, Odie. SMACK
10 February 1984
I wish I could find Garfield's hiding place so I could take him to the vet. - He's sure hiding in a good place. - A good place-- Not a smart place-- But a good place.
11 February 1984
I can't believe my luck. This is too perfect. - I will now slide down this banister and make a four-point landing on Odie down there. - BANZAI! - - RATS! - I can see the headline now: "Twist in plot fatal to local cat".
12 February 1984
Wouldn't it be great if everything could talk? - I'd get out of bed and the wall would say, "Good morning, Jon." and the sink would say, "Good morning, Jon." That wouldn't be so hot. - Every time a light bulb burned out, it would be like a
13 February 1984
If people had hair all over their bodies, would they wear clothing? - - Probably not.
14 February 1984
What would happen if people were cats and cats were people? - That's an easy one. - Dogs would soon be extinct.
15 February 1984
I was wondering, Garfield... - What if being fat were considered attractive? - What do you mean, "what if," bozo?
16 February 1984
I wonder what life would be like if we never had to eat. - That would take some getting used to. - For a time, mothers would fix their families three square nothings a day.
17 February 1984
What if there were never a Leonardo da Vinci? - That would be awful! - The da Vinci kids would have been orphans.
18 February 1984
RING! - BRING! SMASH! - DING DING DING DING - STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! - GASP! COUGH WHEEzeeee - SHOOP! - Rats! Too late! Now I'm wide awake.
19 February 1984
I hate mondays. - This is your conscience speaking. It's not nice to hate mondays. Look at it as starting a fresh week with a clean slate. - I hate mondays.
20 February 1984
This is your conscience speaking. Don't you dare push Odie off the table! That would be inhumane and cruel. - Then YOU push him off. POKE! - That was kind of fun.
21 February 1984
Why do you follow me around, conscience? If I don't you won't be very nice. - If I put this cork in your bottle would you be trapped? Yes, but that wouldn't be very nice. - That wasn't very nice.
22 February 1984
Now that my conscience is trapped in this bottle, I can walk away and enjoy myself. - That's okay, go ahead, have fun, don't worry about me. I'll just sit here in the dark...all alone. - You're very good. One of the best.
23 February 1984
Let's have some fun, Garfield. Take one step back. Okay. - - I thought consciences were supposed to be nice! I'm on break.
24 February 1984
I have my conscience trapped in this bottle. I'll just set it by Jon. - - Get a haircut.
25 February 1984
tappity tappity tappity - Good evening, ladies and germs. In our audience tonight is a boy scout delegation from Booga-Booga. Welcome, guys. - I'm dedicating my first song to you. Appropriately enough it's called, "I'm just a boy scouting for
26 February 1984
What a glorious morning! - I could really enjoy a morning like this. - If I could only get this catch out of my back.
27 February 1984
I gotta get help for this catch in my back. - Hey, guys. - What we have here is a failure to communicate.
28 February 1984
Maybe a good night's sleep will help me get rid of this catch in my back. - - Maybe not.
29 February 1984