You like to scratch things, don't you, Garfield? Does a chicken like to peck? Sure I do! Good! Scratch my back. NO CLAWS! NO CLAWS! If I didn't use claws, I wouldn't be scratching, now would I?
1 June 1984
Scratch higher, Garfield. Higher! Get off the curtains, Garfield. I was just following instructions.
2 June 1984
grrrr RRRRRR Jon's best shoes! Sometimes Odie makes me so angry, I could just scream. ARRRRRGH!
3 June 1984
Good morning, boys and girls. Good morning, uncle Roy. I love you just the way you are. I love you too, uncle Roy. I also love mondays. Stick it in your ear, uncle Roy.
4 June 1984
Good morning, boys and girls. I love you just the way you are. Everybody loves uncle Roy. You are kind, thoughtful, obedient and considerate. Not to mention intelligent, witty and charming. We all know uncle Roy is a liar, but we don'tcare.
5 June 1984
Here we are in a real factory, boys and girls. Let's see what we can learn... ARRRRRGH! WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! SHUT THIS **!* THING OFF. Uncle Roy is learning never to wear loose clothing around big machinery.
6 June 1984
Good morning, boys and girls. You are probably wondering where my dog, Bob, is this morning. Wellll...it seems old Bob bit Mr. Blue Jeans the mailman once too often... So Bob has decided to move to a local research facility to pursue acareer as a laborato
7 June 1984
Let's play pretend, boys and girls. Let's pretend it's contract negotiation time for uncle Roy... And there are big green monsters who want to take uncle Roy off the air... And the only thing that can save uncle Roy are letters saying howmuch you love unc
8 June 1984
Looks who's come to visit, boys and girls. It's Jerry the Cat. Hi, Jerry. Hi, uncle Roy. How are you? I'm fine, How are you? Uncle Roy is getting pretty bizarre. How's your mother? She's fine. Who'd be dumb enough to believe there is atalking cat?
9 June 1984
Hey, Jon, Look at this! Hey, Jon. Watch me! Jon doesn't pay any attention to me anymore. Watch this. Hey, Jon! Hey, Jon! Hey, Garfield? What, Jon? I don't pay any attention to me anymore.
10 June 1984
Don't you dare. I don't know what you're talking about.
11 June 1984
Every morning for nearly six years now, I fix raisin toast for Garfield. He loves his raisin toast. What's in the drawer? A six-year supply of raisins.
12 June 1984
* crack OH, YUK! It's not often you see a yolk with a beak.
13 June 1984
How would you like your bacon prepared, Garfield? Let's shoot for recognizable. Jon is a terrible cook. He could ruin cereal. Bacon flambe, yum yum.
14 June 1984
An interesting thing about food... One minute it may be haute cuisine. But the instant you put it into the sink, it becomes garbage.
15 June 1984
Here's your cereal, Garfield. What's the matter? Aren't you hungry? Not really. I think one of the flakes just moved.
16 June 1984
I'm going to kick Odie off this table. And he'll probably sprain something and have to go to the vet. And I'll get lonely without him. And Jon will be angry without me. And the humane society will want to lynch me. But nobody saidlife was a rose garden.
17 June 1984
I can't believe I turn six years old tomorrow. Some cats say, "Life begins at six," but I don't buy that. Old age may take its toll on some cats, but it's not going to happen to me! I'm going to do something about it! Right after my nap.
18 June 1984
Happy birthday, Garfield! I got you a rubber chicken. They're lots of fun! We'll see about that. SMACK SPLUT Chicken, you and I are going to have some good times.
19 June 1984
You need a name, fella. Let's see...what do you name a rubber chicken? rrrrr "Stretch"!
20 June 1984
peck peck peck SMACK! I'll have some ham and eggs, and my friend, Stretch, will have a bowl of rubber bands.
21 June 1984
peck peck peck STOP PECKING ME WITH THAT RUBBER CHICKEN! Aw, look, you just hurt Stretch's feelings. He brings out the worst in me.
22 June 1984
Pooky, I would like you to meet Stretch, my rubber chicken. Quite frankly, Pooky and Stretch don't have a lot of personality. But you have to trade off something when you surround yourself with good listeners.
23 June 1984
YAWN It's bed-bye time again. Tonight I think I'll take a deep breath, slowly close my eyes and savor the heavy feeling of sleep gradually overtaking my body. PAT! PAT! PAT! Then again it would be fun to have a cup of coffee and tossand turn for a couple
24 June 1984
Garfield, I think you're too mean to Odie. I never want to see you hit him again. Oh, very well. KONK!
25 June 1984
I'm going to the store, Garfield. If you lay a paw on Odie, I'll spank you. BOING
26 June 1984
Garfield, I swear you've done everything to Odie a cat could do to a dog. Au contraire. PLINK Never underestimate me.
27 June 1984
Hey, Odie! I found your nose! Let me put it on for you, pal. squik squik Very nice. I like you as a rat terrier.
28 June 1984
Well, well, well. I see you're eating my food, Odie. Now what are going to do with you? We are going to kick you into next week! That's what we're going to do! PUNT Where's Odie? Somewhere over saturday.
29 June 1984
Lunch isn't the same without Odie. He always slips up behind me, barks loudly and makes me fall into my food. I guess I 'll just have to make do. BLUT
30 June 1984