That was some new year's celebration last night, wasn't it, Garfield? Did anyone get the license number of the party that hit me? - Are you going to get up today? No way! I got up yesterday and look what happened to me! - Not feeling well,
I'm bored. - I'm bored, bored, bored. - Wait a minute! I control my own destiny! I'll create an exclusive country club resort. - First, I'll put some sandbox sand in the sunbeam. - Replete with the usual resort accouterments. - Hey, what a
Well, the holidays are finally over and the ol' waistline has explored new vistas. pat pat - It is time to declare another NATIONAL FAT WEEK. We shall tell skinny jokes and revel in our fat. - I'm talking about you, chubby.
Fat people are healthier than skinny people in many ways... - For instance, no fat person has ever been diagnosed as having vatorphobia. - That, of course, is the fear of starving to death in a stuck elevator.
Hey, Odie! Look at this! - It's snowing! Let's go out and catch snowflakes on our tongues! - - Here comes a world record! - - Ooo, that's a very impressive collection. - Surprise boys! I fixed a feast for you! No thanks. We just ate. Urp.
You're shedding again. What am I supposed to do with all this cat hair? Knit the world's largest hairball. - Trade it with your friends, start a mustache factory. - This is going nowhere. Insulate your house! Filter your coffee!
Did you know there are three kinds of cat hair? There's the common, way to clean kind... - There's the kind that disappears into the carpet, never to be seen again. And then there's my favorite... - There's the kind that hangs in the air
How are you, Squeak? How would you feel if you got sucked up in a vacuum cleaner? - How humiliating! Me, a mouse, sucked up like a common piece of dirt. That's just my luck! What are the chances of that ever happening? - whirrrr SHOOP!
Why are people afraid of mice? Bad press, I guess. - Maybe it's because mice carried the black plague in 1348. I don't know what you're talking about. - As I recall, half of Europe died. - Picky, picky, picky.
Would you look at that mousetrap?! Barbaric, isn't it. - You said it! A nice camembert or creamy brie would be worth going in after. - BUT THAT PROCESSED AMERICAN CHEESE IS AN INSULT TO MY PALATE! Precisely what I was saying.
I have just taken an inventory of your refrigerator. - !89 bottles of salad dressing with 1" in the bottom of each. 14 half empty bottles of catsup, 39 open cans of flat soda pop and 62 bread wrappers with the heels. - ORGANIZE YOURSELF!
OH NO! - GARFIELD! YOU'RE SITTING IN MY SCRAMBLED EGGS! They're warm. - Okay, okay, here...enjoy. - NO, go ahead and sit in them, they're ruined now. RUINED? - JUST BECAUSE I STAY IN 'EM, IT'S NOT LIKE YOUR STUPID SCRAMBLED EGGS ARE DISEASED,
It's time for your checkup, Garfield. I'll get checked-up while the lady vet gets checked out. - We gotta make sure you're in good condition. Right. - The only condition he's worried about is his glandular condition.
In case you're thinking about asking me out, doc, forget it. I have plans. - I'm seeing this girl, ho is real cute and real clever and we laugh a lot. Do tell... - My, my, my! Do I detect a note of jealousy in your voice? I walked into that
Sigh. - Garfield, you are worthless. Do you know that? - You are doing zero with your life...zip. Do you know that? poke poke - You should learn something new each day. It would lend purpose to this dreary existence of yours. - I'm going to
You look much better this morning. You must be over the Hawaiian cat flu. I doubt that I ever had it. - What would you like for breakfast? Just some juice and a Danish. - And a roast pig! And six pineapples! And a pound of Macadamia nuts!
Hey, hey. - Smile big, boys. I'm going to take your picture. - Move back a little farther. - Just a little farther. - SHOOP! - Uh-oh. - There appears to be a camera shoved up your nose. Nas wha I min nrying noo nell you!
- Here, Garfield. Eat! CLOMP! - Just look at you! You're a fright! - I get up early and groom myself because this is our special time together! - And the only place you take me is for granted! - - Are you trying to tell me something,
We'll be right back after this word from our sponsor. - Quick, Garfield! During the commercial let's get some popcorn! - I'll take care of the butter, bowls and napkins. You take care of the popcorn! - I got MY stuff, are you taking care of
Z - Z clickety clickety clickety. - CLICKETY CLICKETY CLICKETY - CLICKETY CLICKETY CLACK CLACK - I'M AWAKE! I'M AWAKE! CLICKETY CLACK CLACK - You've never done the Flamenco the get me up before. - The castanets were a nice touch. That's
I'm leaving for a few minutes, Garfield. You be good, hear? - SLAM! - Good! Jon's gone! Now I can do all the fun stuff he won't let me do! - I can run in the house. - I can eat the ferns and swallow without chewing. - I can jump on the bed. -
I have a date with Mary Lou tonight and I'm going to charm her out of her socks. - I'm going to play it real cool. I'm going to quote poetry and be real suave. - She'll be putty in my hands. You tie is in your coffee.
It's time to get up. - It's time to gorge myself. - It's time to kick the dog. PUNT! - It's time for a nap ion front of the television. - It's time to eat my afternoon fern. - It's time for my 14-hour beauty rest. I'm a creature of
Come here, Garfield. I have something to tell you. - I'm going to organize my sock drawer today. This is a red-letter day! - I'm going to put the black ones on one end and the white ones on the other. Decisions! Decisions! Decisions! - And do
Let's talk about the responsibilities an owner assumes when he obtains a cat. The first responsibility is to feed that cat. - LATER! - I guess we'll wait to discuss the second responsibility when we're in a little better mood.
Hey, Garfield, here's an article about a guy who thought he could fly by wearing a cape and jumping off a building. - They scraped him off Fifth Avenue with a putty knife. I guess he learned his lesson. - Yeah, he didn't believe.
Hmmm - All cats are innately curious. I was just wondering where rainwater goes. - WHOA! - - Gasp! - So this is where rainwater goes! Interesting! - So this is where dishwater goes! Fascinating. So this is where bathwater goes! That's the
- Look at Jon's socks, they are all perfectly tucked and organized. - Okay, socks, line up! Count off! - FORWARD HARCH! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOURP! - Stay away from my sock drawer, Garfield. You make me nervous. - - As you were.
So, this is the bedtime story you want to hear, huh? - "Bangor the Enforcer screamed, 'The world is ours!' at that very moment teddy bears everywhere crawled out of their toy chests and armed themselves". - This is a side of teddy bears I'd
Persons At Work - How fortuitous, someone was kind enough to dig this hole for me. - I'll cover it with these branches and play a little trick on Odie. - Hey, Odie, have a bone. - BOING! - Something's not right here. - OH NO! IT'S THE OLD
Sleeping, we do more of it than anything else in life, and know very little about it. - Welcome to the "Wonderful World Of 'Sleep". Today we will examine fascinating sleeping positions. - Z Jon here is demonstrating the classic fetal
Shoo-doop boowa, shoo-doop boowa. - Well I was workin' last night on my piston head, when my best friend told me my girl was dead. - Well, I'll sure, I'll sure, I'll sure - I'll sure, I'll sure, I'll sure, I'll sure, I'll sure, I'll sure -
Let's see, it's over and under, then through. - I'm taking you out to eat, Garfield. You'll have to wear this to get into the restaurant. - I'll have a steak and my ca...er...son will have a triple order of lasagna and a cup of cocoa. - This
- King Cattaeatalotta gives a peace offering to the volcano that claimed young princess Angora. - Up against the wall, you crumbums, or I'll give your backsides a taste of my daisy! - Make love, not dog pounds. - Here, my dear, perhaps this
Look at those cars out there, Garfield. What a fascinating assemblage. - All those people in their tiny steel universes, moving to the choreography of the traffic light. - What are your observations on the subject, Garfield? 17 blue ones have
- Hey, Garfield! It's going to be a beautiful day! Let's spend it outside! - Where are my swim trunks? - There's suntan lotion in here somewhere. - And now a picnic lunch! - PERFECT DAY, HERE WE COME! - Rats. Missed it.
Hey, Garfield! Come here quick! - Look, Garfield, the carnival has come to town! Let's go! Whoopty doo. - Do you know what I love most about a carnival? the intellectual stimulation? - I love the sideshow. Uh, Jon? - The fat woman! The rubber
* - Eat me. - I can't eat you. You're Jon's favorite fern. What are fronds for? - I might get in trouble. Aw, come on. Take one little taste. You'll like me. - - MUNCH CHOMP MUNCH CHOMP - GARFIELD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! Just trying to make
Z - Z - Rats! I'm hungry. I always wake up in the middle of the night hungry. Oh well, let's look around. - Hello, what's this? It feels like a big old loaf of pumpernickel. - YIP! Sorry about that, Odie. - All right! Olives! I love Olives! I
Pet Shop - Look at all those poor animals in there all caged up. This looks like a job for... - Freedom Fighter! - YOU'RE FREE! YOU'RE FREE! - GO FOR IT! - Hmmm, folks must not be heavily into freedom these days. - You're secure! You're
Let's go to a movie tonight. Here's one about kids at a day-care center who save the world. It's been done. - How about "Ninja Grandmother"? You're getting warmer. - Here it is! "The Angry Mauve Planet" Sounds like a contemporary remake.
Well, guys, there's one thing we need before we go into the movie. SNACKS! - I'd like the banana-flavored tooth busters, the flaming mouth things, the triple-buttered nut clusters and three pumpkin fizz sodas. - That will be $89.50 Uh, how
GARFIELD! IT'S TRIPLE-COUPON DAY AT THE SUPERMARKET. WE GOTTA HURRY! - Here it is, triple-coupon day at the market. Shoppers are lined up and eagerly awaiting the opening of the store. - There's the green flag! - As the pack backs up behind
Ouch - SWISH SWISH - There's something about carrying a stick that gives one a feeling of authority. - Fiy my dinner! Get a haircut! Clean up that mess! poke - Get some exercise! Make your bed! Lose weight! - The bigger the stick, the greater
- I'm going to take a nap now, Nermal. If you so much as touch my food, I'll squash you flat, okay? - KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK - Who are you? Don't you remember? I'm Nermal, the kitten you tried to starve a few years ago. - I came back to replay old
- Garfield, you watch too much television. Probably. - You could be doing much better things with your time than staring at a TV set. That's for sure. - There's a whole world out there to experience. I imagine so. - Uh, you could be, ...uh,
It knows where I am. - I know it's here. I can feel its presence. - There's no escaping it. - Once it has you, you're a goner! - Run for it, Garfield! - Here it comes again! - YOU WON'T TAKE ME WITHOUT A FIGHT. - ARRRGH! - Another victim of a
- Well, well, well. Odie's sitting in front of the recliner. Let's have some fun, shall we? - Watch this. - - WHUMP! WHAP! - I hate to brag, but it took a brilliant mind to figure that gag out. - SMACK!
Let me tell you about my Monday. Monday was going great. I thought it was going to be the first Monday of my life that didn't stink. - I got up in the middle of the night and ate some jawbreakers. - Then I woke up this morning and my marble
- Many of you have probably noticed you wake up in the morning a pound or two lighter then when you went to bed. - Now, just where does all that weight go? - I'm here to tell you that the atmosphere around us is filled with the fat of
Garfield, you make a lovely fire. I do make a lovely fire. - Well, I gotta get ready for my date. You enjoy your lovely fire. I'll enjoy my lovely fire. - HEY! WHERE ARE ALL My BOW TIES?! They make a lovely fire.
Z - Z - BREAKFAST TIME, GARFIELD! - Ho, boy, I'm so tired my limbs feel like lead. It's going to be tough getting up this morning. - Come on, Garfield! You can do it! Unngh! You can do it, boy! - I MADE IT! I'M UP! - Rats! I was only dreaming
Garfield, the world famous tomato soup diver, scours the murky depths in search of the elusive tomato guppy. - QUICK! GIMME THAT CAMERA! - For the first time in history the spawning habits of the tomato guppy are captured on film. CLICK
Hey, Garfield, did you ever wonder why they always have commercials at the good parts? - I wonder if fish have taste buds. - I hate it when Jon fishes. His mouth starts wandering. - Where do the ripples in the water go? - If people had fur
In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, honey. And people think cats do strange things. - I'm in the mood for love * - Well, Garfield, how do I look? - You don't like it, huh? - Maybe if I changed my tie and my pants and my... - Now what do you think? - Great!
Garfield, you eat food like it grows on trees. I wasn't born yesterday. I know the food fairy brings it in the night. - What if the food just stopped? I could handle that. - It's the eating I would miss.
May I have your attention, please! - Ladieees and gentlemen! Odie-The-Amazing will now dive into this glass of water! - Of course he is going to need a little encouragement. - Go for it, Odie! I'm going to make you a star! - WHOAM! LET GO!
MOTHER!!! - What say we rest this lunch off in the park? Splendid idea. - That was a great lunch. Boy, am I stuffed! - Look at the size of this belly. - Oh, yeah? Look at this! - I'm fatter than you are. Check this out! - You two are
I have some words of wisdom to help you beat those old blues, buddy. - He's gonna get cryptic again. - Even a stopped clock is right twice a day. - Oh, great...I'm going to be up all night figuring that one out.
You may not know this, Garfield, but I'm somewhat of an expert at reading tea leaves. - Ah, yes, it says here you will have a long and fruitful life. Your owner is kind and generous, and you will travel soon. - Any questions? May I have my
Come on, Odie. The sooner we go to bed, the sooner it will be Christmas morning. pat pat pat - Christmas eve is the longest night of the year. - I imagine it would be shorter if we could ever fall asleep.
Merry Christmas, Garfield! Open your presents, buddy. What's the holdup? I'm just savoring the moment. - This is my favorite morning of the whole year. All out differences are set aside and all the love we feel for one another is wrapped up
Well, if this isn't RX-2, the talking scale. How are you today, felly? I'm depressed. - What could a scale possibly be depressed about? - How would you like to be stepped on every day and called a liar? - Good point.