1978 1979 1980 1981 1982 1983 1984 1985 1986 1987 1988 1989 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017
 
 


 
   
Garfield

That was some new year's celebration last night, wasn't it, Garfield? Did anyone get the license number of the party that hit me? Are you going to get up today? No way! I got up yesterday and look what happened to me! Not feeling well,huh? It would take t

1 January 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I don't mind grocery shopping. And I don't mind carrying them home. This is the part I dread.

2 January 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

As long as you're in the way, why don't you find a place to put these groceries. GOBBLE! GOBBLE! GOBBLE! I wanted you to put them in the pantry! Urp...that can be arranged.

3 January 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, guys, I have a new house rule. From now on no pets are allowed on the furniture. Harf! Harf! Harf! Wah! Ha! Ha! I don't get no respect.

4 January 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

One thing I love about Odie... He's so pushoffable.

5 January 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm bored. I'm bored, bored, bored. Wait a minute! I control my own destiny! I'll create an exclusive country club resort. First, I'll put some sandbox sand in the sunbeam. Replete with the usual resort accouterments. Hey, what agreat idea! I wonder how h

6 January 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, the holidays are finally over and the ol' waistline has explored new vistas. pat pat It is time to declare another NATIONAL FAT WEEK. We shall tell skinny jokes and revel in our fat. I'm talking about you, chubby.

7 January 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

We fat people get a lot more out of life. We eat big. We drink big, we laugh big. HAR! HAR! HAR! Are you okay, Garfield? You wouldn't understand, skinny person.

8 January 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Being skinny isn't always a bed of roses. It must be tough wearing suspenders to hold your socks up. I knew a guy who was so skinny, he had to step on the scales twice to weight himself!

9 January 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I think skinny people are funny... Their pants keep falling down. thump thump thump I knew a kid who was so skinny, all he could wear was a hat!

10 January 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't eat that pie! It's fattening! Eat it! You'll regret it tomorrow. Tomorrow never comes! FLIP I'd be thinner if my conscience were quicker-witted.

11 January 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Fat people are healthier than skinny people in many ways... For instance, no fat person has ever been diagnosed as having vatorphobia. That, of course, is the fear of starving to death in a stuck elevator.

12 January 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

This is my lucky day. Wha...? SCRIIICK POOF! It grew back! I've discovered the bottomless pan of lasagna! BLIP I knew it! I knew it! I knew it was too good to be true!

13 January 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

SLUP! THAT WAS MY LAST CUP OF COFFEE! I spilled some. You can suck it out of my sweater.

14 January 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

What are you watching, Garfield? I don't know. Who's the lead character? I don't know. What's the plot? Hey! I'm watching television! Stop making me think, okay?

15 January 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

SLURP GULP BURP SMACK ERP OH YUK! How disgusting! There's a people hair in my cat food!

16 January 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

One of my pet peeves is people who never finish what they start. I do not happen to be one of those people. My philosophy is, "never start anything."

17 January 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

BLAT! Oops! Clean that up, Garfield. Patience, my friend. There are people to do those things. ZIP!

18 January 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

OOOOO BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! I'll bite. What is it? A dummy detector.

19 January 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity BONK! PANT PANT plunk CLAP CLAP CLAP Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

20 January 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

zip! Hey! Give my napkin back! Smile when you speak to Sumo Cat, fella.

21 January 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Sumo Cat has studied Sumo wrestling for years. Sumo Cat has mastered the most dreaded tricks of his trade. SNAP!

22 January 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Sumo Cat assumes the classic Sumo wrestling position. There is only one tiny drawback to this position... Severe cramping!

23 January 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Karate Cat demonstrates his art on a table leg. HIIYAH! SNAP! Karate Cat also demonstrates incredible lack of foresight.

24 January 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Most practitioners of Karate are impervious to pain. HIIYAH! SMACK! I happen to be of the previous to pain persuasion.

25 January 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

For your pleasure, I, Judo Cat, will lay a basic move on this hapless bystander. SMACK! Leave it up to a dumb dog's rubber tongue to make a mockery of the martial arts.

26 January 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Fetch the apple, Odie. I send Odie to fetch an apple, and he brings back an apple pie. I think I'm onto something here. Fetch the T-bone, Odie, my boy. -

27 January 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the cutest cat of all? Hi there. Don't answer that.

28 January 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you know what I hate about you, Nermal? You're so one dimensional. Oh yeah? And what dimension is that? YOUTH!

29 January 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Nermal, you're cute, but you're not very bright. Doesn't that bother you? Oh no. I figure I'll grow out of this cute stage sooner or later. I rest my case.

30 January 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Nermal, would you rather have your good looks or my intellect? My good looks. I have years and years to get your intellect. That hurt.

31 January 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Nermal, would you like to be like me when you grow up? Gosh yes! I'd like to be like you when I grow up. And up, and up, and out, and out, and up. That boy may not see his next birthday.

1 February 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I gotta go, Garfield. I'm posing for a cat calendar. How does one pose for a calendar? One moment. That's very good. Cute is my life.

2 February 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Odie! Look at this! It's snowing! Let's go out and catch snowflakes on our tongues! Here comes a world record! Ooo, that's a very impressive collection. Surprise boys! I fixed a feast for you! No thanks. We just ate. Urp.

3 February 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

SPLUT! OH NO! Yup...it's splut week.

4 February 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

SPLUT!

5 February 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

ssssssss sssssssss sssSSSSPLUT!

6 February 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Good evening, ladies and germs! SPLUT! SPLUT! SPLUT! Thank you for that generous round of spluts!

7 February 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

SPLUT! Hey, wait a minute! Shoes don't go "splut"! SPLUT! That's more like it.

8 February 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm tired of getting hit with pies all the time. I'm going to find whoever is doing it, and I'm going to bite him. flick SPLUT! SPLUT!

9 February 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, Garfield. Hi there. WHA?! You're everywhere at once! How do you do that? Magic. AMAZING! Thanks, guys.

10 February 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Can't you close your mouth to eat? You're hard to look at. You mean, this bothers you? Yuk! I see no humor in that, Garfield. Then why am I chortling?

11 February 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

A house becomes a home once it's well established with cat hair. Oh no! This is not a cat hair! It's a whisker! I'm going bald!

12 February 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

You're shedding again. What am I supposed to do with all this cat hair? Knit the world's largest hairball. Trade it with your friends, start a mustache factory. This is going nowhere. Insulate your house! Filter your coffee!

13 February 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Did you know there are three kinds of cat hair? There's the common, way to clean kind... There's the kind that disappears into the carpet, never to be seen again. And then there's my favorite... There's the kind that hangs in the airforever. LAND! DARN IT

14 February 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, I've swept under the furniture, vacuumed my chair and shaken the rugs. I'm finally rid of all your cat hair. Fortunately, I keep an emergency supply in the back of my bed.

15 February 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

You boys sure shed a lot. Wha?! SHOOP! The cat hair refuses to associate with the dog hair. sniff..

16 February 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

DINNER TIME, GARFIELD! I ran out of canned cat food. I'm sure you know what to do with this dried stuff. I certainly do. WHOAAA! Enjoying your cat food, Garfield? We must have it more often.

17 February 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

WHIRRR! FWUMP! WHAT WAS THAT?! Hi, Squeak! Get me out of here!

18 February 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

How are you, Squeak? How would you feel if you got sucked up in a vacuum cleaner? How humiliating! Me, a mouse, sucked up like a common piece of dirt. That's just my luck! What are the chances of that ever happening? whirrrr SHOOP!Getting better all the t

19 February 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield, I'm missing a slipper, two spools of thread and a button... You don't know where they are, would you? I think I do... May I have a word with you, Squeak? Vroom! Vroom!

20 February 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Why are people afraid of mice? Bad press, I guess. Maybe it's because mice carried the black plague in 1348. I don't know what you're talking about. As I recall, half of Europe died. Picky, picky, picky.

21 February 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Would you look at that mousetrap?! Barbaric, isn't it. You said it! A nice camembert or creamy brie would be worth going in after. BUT THAT PROCESSED AMERICAN CHEESE IS AN INSULT TO MY PALATE! Precisely what I was saying.

22 February 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

You're lazy, Garfield. Lazy, do you hear me? If you had any ambition, you could be anything you want. Like the world's greatest mouser? Lazy, I admire that in a cat.

23 February 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Hmmm click click Okay, your move. GARFIELD! How many times have I told you not to play with your food?

24 February 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield, what say we have potatoes for dinner? Gee, it's been a long time since I fixed potatoes. Tell me about it.

25 February 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Trivia time, Garfield! What's the only substance on earth harder than a diamond? Your leftover pizza.

26 February 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I have just taken an inventory of your refrigerator. !89 bottles of salad dressing with 1" in the bottom of each. 14 half empty bottles of catsup, 39 open cans of flat soda pop and 62 bread wrappers with the heels. ORGANIZE YOURSELF!SMACK!

27 February 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

EEEEK! Clean your refrigerator out, Jon! The mystery meat crawled out of the tinfoil and snapped at me!

28 February 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

knock knock Who's there? Uhhh...candy gram? You can't fool me, mystery meat. You want out to wreak havoc. Today the refrigerator, tomorrow the world!

1 March 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder if I should clean the refrigerator. The bacon is gazing on the lettuce and he asks if the refrigerator needs cleaning.

2 March 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

OH NO! GARFIELD! YOU'RE SITTING IN MY SCRAMBLED EGGS! They're warm. Okay, okay, here...enjoy. NO, go ahead and sit in them, they're ruined now. RUINED? JUST BECAUSE I STAY IN 'EM, IT'S NOT LIKE YOUR STUPID SCRAMBLED EGGS ARE DISEASED,YOU KNOW! UNNNGH! EAT

3 March 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

It's time for your checkup, Garfield. I'll get checked-up while the lady vet gets checked out. We gotta make sure you're in good condition. Right. The only condition he's worried about is his glandular condition.

4 March 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, Mr. Arbuckle. How did you know it was me? I wasn't even in the door yet! you have a distinctive cologne. Oh, you mean my ''Ode De Lumberjack"? Bingo.

5 March 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

How about a date, doc? Oh, let's not and say we did. That's better than nothing, I guess. Can we say I kissed you good night? If we can say I slapped you.

6 March 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's be honest with one another, Liz. I'm a man. You're a woman. Get the picture? That's the door. Get the picture? You'll have to draw it for him, doc.

7 March 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you think these shaders make me more mysterious? YOU don't need them. Hey, good-lookin', what time do you get off work? You just propositioned my coat rack. He might get lucky this time.

8 March 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

In case you're thinking about asking me out, doc, forget it. I have plans. I'm seeing this girl, ho is real cute and real clever and we laugh a lot. Do tell... My, my, my! Do I detect a note of jealousy in your voice? I walked into thatone?

9 March 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh. Garfield, you are worthless. Do you know that? You are doing zero with your life...zip. Do you know that? poke poke You should learn something new each day. It would lend purpose to this dreary existence of yours. I'm going tothe store. When I come

10 March 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Ah ah ahhhh! Don't touch that dial. We'll be right back. -

11 March 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Our cat food is new and improved! New and improved! New and improved! Just think...all this time I've been eating old and inferior.

12 March 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Rats! Where's the Binky The Clown Show?! click click click This remote control must be malfunctioning. click click click NOW it works.

13 March 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

NO NO! DON'T CHANGE THE CHANNEL! WE NEED THE RATINGS! PLEEEEEASE! CLICK! Arrrgh! Choice is a powerful thing.

14 March 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

CLICK Whatever Jon paid for this TV remote control, it was worth it!

15 March 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

These game shows are disgusting. It's pathetic how some people will humiliate themselves to win money. Jon does it for free. *

16 March 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

That's a pretty impressive display of shedding there, Odie. But there isn't a dog born who can outshed a cat. Take that! I WON! I WON!

17 March 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

SURF'S UP! SURF'S UP! Garfield the Surfer King hangs three. You're acting strangely lately, Garfield. You live in your world, I'll live in mine.

18 March 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, the vet says you are going to have to stay inside. There's a rare strain of Hawaiian cat flu going around. Too late, doc.

19 March 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, the vet says the Hawaiian cat flu will give you a voracious appetite and make you listless and cranky. I guess we'll never know if you're sick or not! I saw that one coming.

20 March 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you have the Hawaiian cat flu. You're going to have to lie around all week. Oh, darn. And you must stay inside. WHAT?! For the first time in my life, I gotta get out!

21 March 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I know you are suffering from the Hawaiian cat flu, but you look ridiculous doing that hula dance. Watch my hands carefully, Jon. Every movement has a meaning! BONK!

22 March 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

You look much better this morning. You must be over the Hawaiian cat flu. I doubt that I ever had it. What would you like for breakfast? Just some juice and a Danish. And a roast pig! And six pineapples! And a pound of Macadamia nuts!

23 March 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, hey. Smile big, boys. I'm going to take your picture. Move back a little farther. Just a little farther. SHOOP! Uh-oh. There appears to be a camera shoved up your nose. Nas wha I min nrying noo nell you!

24 March 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Mondays, I hate mondays. It seems like I just get done with one and along comes another one! Did you know you're cute when you're angry?

25 March 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

All right! A new world record! Six chins.

26 March 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

HOLY GOOD GRAVY! I DIDN'T KNOW I HAD A BELLYBUTTON! zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

27 March 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest one of all? CRACK! tinkle tinkle Shards shards on the floor...

28 March 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH tap tap tap It's okay, Jon...I've subdued the chair. It's safe to sit in now.

29 March 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

There's only one drawback to an assertive lifestyle. CRASH! Sometimes you get the bear, and sometimes the bear gets you.

30 March 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Here, Garfield. Eat! CLOMP! Just look at you! You're a fright! I get up early and groom myself because this is our special time together! And the only place you take me is for granted! Are you trying to tell me something,Garfield? I'm just showing you wh

31 March 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

The mailman is going to rue the day he put on that silly uniform when he opens Jon's mailbox today. Boy, is he going to be surprised. Boy, am I stuck.

1 April 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Here I am, Garfield the cat, doomed to spend the rest of my days in this stupid mailbox. What a cruel twist of fate. HEY, FATE! HERE'S WHAT I THINK OF YOU! PLPLPL

2 April 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Leave it up to me to get stuck in this mailbox. So much for my ambush attempt on the mailman. Here he comes now! -

3 April 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

* Thanks, Garfield. I can see the headlines now. "Cat stuck in mailbox somehow manages to severely injure local man."

4 April 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I gotta get out of this mailbox. My deodorant is starting to give out. RATTLE RATTLE The story of my life.

5 April 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

UNNNGH! -

6 April 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

We'll be right back after this word from our sponsor. Quick, Garfield! During the commercial let's get some popcorn! I'll take care of the butter, bowls and napkins. You take care of the popcorn! I got MY stuff, are you taking care ofthe popcorn?! Yup! We

7 April 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I've been awake one second and my day is ruined.

8 April 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

* rrrrrrr Oh, listen, Jon! They're playing our song! SHOOMP!

9 April 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you eat like a pig. You should chew your food 25 times before swallowing. Right. I'll give it a shot...just one thing... What's chew?

10 April 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

It's fun to find familiar shades in the clouds. There's an old standard. A dog cloud chasing a a cat cloud up a tree cloud.

11 April 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, morning. What a great day to be alive. I'd even go so far as to say it's a great day to be awake.

12 April 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield. Hey, Odie. I have a little piece of leftover steak. Who SHOOM! wants it?

13 April 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Z clickety clickety clickety. CLICKETY CLICKETY CLICKETY CLICKETY CLICKETY CLACK CLACK I'M AWAKE! I'M AWAKE! CLICKETY CLACK CLACK You've never done the Flamenco the get me up before. The castanets were a nice touch. That'sbecause I care.

14 April 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I'd like you to meet my new goldfish. What shall we name it? "Sushi" comes to mind.

15 April 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't even think about it.

16 April 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

A lot of people don't like fish. You can't hug them. You can't take them for a walk on a leash. They have no sense of humor and all they do is eat and sleep. Wait a minute! I just described me!

17 April 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Come here, you. PLOOP What are you doing with my goldfish, Garfield? Would you believe I was trying to kiss it good night?

18 April 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

OH NO! DON'T LOCK ME UP! I'LL BE GOOD! I SWEAR! Oh.

19 April 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I've decided to let you live, little fella. Oh sure, you're probably thinking way down deep I'm a mister nice guy... Well, set one fin out that cage and you're history.

20 April 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm leaving for a few minutes, Garfield. You be good, hear? SLAM! Good! Jon's gone! Now I can do all the fun stuff he won't let me do! I can run in the house. I can eat the ferns and swallow without chewing. I can jump on the bed. -GARFIELD, I'M HOME! Tha

21 April 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I think I'll get today started off on the right foot. pat pat PUNT! . My heart says "yes", but, my right foot said, "no".

22 April 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield! Come and get it! Come and get "it", he says. Just what is an "it"? Is "it" a hamburger? Is "it" cat food? Nope, "it" is just an "it".

23 April 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

ODIE! DON'T CHASE CARS! YOU COULD GET CLOBBERED! YIP! YIP! YIP! Clobbered? Hey, Odie! Here comes a Buick that said unkind things about your mother!

24 April 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I have a date with Mary Lou tonight and I'm going to charm her out of her socks. I'm going to play it real cool. I'm going to quote poetry and be real suave. She'll be putty in my hands. You tie is in your coffee.

25 April 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Surprise, Garfield! I made you some weenie gelatin! gobble slurp smack gulp Well, what do you think? My mouth liked it, but my stomach is still making up its mind.

26 April 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Get off the curtains, Garfield. Why? Get off the curtains or I'll have you declawed. You just can't argue with logic.

27 April 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

It's time to get up. It's time to gorge myself. It's time to kick the dog. PUNT! It's time for a nap ion front of the television. It's time to eat my afternoon fern. It's time for my 14-hour beauty rest. I'm a creature ofhabit...all the bad ones.

28 April 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Judy! How are you, cuz? Yeah, we'll be home. Come on over. Sure, bring the kids, too. Garfield? Tierra del Fuego

29 April 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

My cousin Judy is coming to visit and she's bringing her children. So put everything you value out of reach. -

30 April 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, Judy! How are you, cousin? And this must be Tammy. YOOOOOO! IT STINKS HERE! IT SMELLS LIKE A CAT! Sniff, sniff, yoooo! Where's that kid smell coming from?

1 May 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, this is my cousin Judy and her children, Tammy and Stevie. BALL! BALL! Oh, listen! Stevie's first words! And his last.

2 May 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you know why I don't like kids? I'll give you three guesses. And the first two don't count.

3 May 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty. THERE HE IS! I'm sure your mother has told you not to play with sharp objects.

4 May 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

z z z Yup! I'm glad I'm not a bird. All they ever do is eat worms and sit in the birdbath. They never have any fun. -

5 May 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Lucky me. Jon's cousin Judy comes to visit and she brings her two yard apes, Tammy and Stevie. They're basically good kids, I guess. For werewolves.

6 May 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I like to hang around babies at mealtime. They drop all kinds of good food. Sometimes they need encouragement.

7 May 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! I'm hungry! I'm hungry! I'm hungry! I'm hungry! I have some friends who can see to it she's never heard from again.

8 May 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello, what's this? Ready for lunch, Garfield? Oh, no, thank you. I just had my first encounter with a diaper bag.

9 May 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, Tammy, stop jumping on the bed. MOMMEEEEE!

10 May 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

It was nice seeing you again, Judy. We must do this again! Yeah, let's have lunch... About ten thousand years from now!

11 May 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Dinnertime, Garfield! MUNCH! SMACK! GOBBLE! SLURP! GULP! CRUNCH! CHOMP! GOBBLE! SLURP! UUUNGH! HA-HAAA! I'm so proud of Jon. I've taught him everything he knows about gluttony. RRRR

12 May 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Rats! I always run out of milk before I run out of cookie!

13 May 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

BOING! You should warn me when you put in the screen door!

14 May 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

We cats are special. We are built to sense things about humans even they don't know. Your feet stink.

15 May 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

That's a pretty funky dance, Garfield. Show me how you do it. First, find a bur in your sandbox.

16 May 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

We're going to the vet, Garfield. I wonder what she'll remove this time. Any last words? My uncle Patrick's famous quote comes to mind. "I regret that I have but nine lives to give to my country".

17 May 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I love this time of year. There's the first bluebird. There's the first daisy. DONK There's the first rake in the face.

18 May 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Come here, Garfield. I have something to tell you. I'm going to organize my sock drawer today. This is a red-letter day! I'm going to put the black ones on one end and the white ones on the other. Decisions! Decisions! Decisions! And doyou know what I mig

19 May 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Mornin', hon. Mornin', Irma. Say when. When. These people need help.

20 May 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

HEY! WHERE'S THE WAITRESS IN THIS CRUMMY DIVE?! THE SERVICE HERE STINKS! WHO'S THE MANAGER HERE ANYWAY?! You are. SMACK! Forgot. I'm going home. smack!

21 May 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

TWO EGGS SCRAMBLED, PIGS IN BLANKET, AND GIVE IT WINGS! ZIP! Two eggsa scrambled! Pigs in a blanket! Pronto! This is a small operation. We should kill it before it spreads.

22 May 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you know what I like about your place, Irma? You're open 24 hours. I'm giving serious consideration to taking on an assistant.

23 May 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I don't see how you do it, Irma. How do you keep this place open 24 hours with no help? Z Now I see how she does it. Sheer willpower.

24 May 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's your egg, hon. Whatever you do, try not to think about where it came from. Have an egg, Garfield. Too late. I already thought about it.

25 May 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Boy, am I starved. Here y'are, hon. Thanks, Irma. Uh, Irma. Don't mind me, hon. I think I lost a false eyelash in here somewhere. Sardi's this ain't.

26 May 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I think I'll exercise. I'd better start slowly. Today I shall attempt to register a pulse.

27 May 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

KABONG! KABONG! KABONG! KABONG! Garfield, get out of here! And take your pogo stick with you!

28 May 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's talk about the responsibilities an owner assumes when he obtains a cat. The first responsibility is to feed that cat. LATER! I guess we'll wait to discuss the second responsibility when we're in a little better mood.

29 May 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield, here's an article about a guy who thought he could fly by wearing a cape and jumping off a building. They scraped him off Fifth Avenue with a putty knife. I guess he learned his lesson. Yeah, he didn't believe.

30 May 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, Job. Hmmph SMACK! BLUT! I'm feeling good about today so don't burst my bubble, okay?

31 May 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh goody! Jon's home! When Mr. Excitement steps into the room, you can cut the apathy with a knife.

1 June 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Hmmm All cats are innately curious. I was just wondering where rainwater goes. WHOA! Gasp! So this is where rainwater goes! Interesting! So this is where dishwater goes! Fascinating. So this is where bathwater goes! That's thelast time I drink out of the

2 June 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, Garfield. Mmmph. What was that? Mmmph. I can't understand you. I ate all the ice cream and my mouth went numb, okay?

3 June 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Sniff Remember, as you walk down the path of life... Stop and eat the flowers along the way.

4 June 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

What's the difference between flowers and weeds? STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! Weeds have a greater will to live.

5 June 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Jon! When was the last time you swept under the bed?

6 June 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Surprise, Garfield! I picked up lunch at grease world! Junk food is the staff of life.

7 June 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

kiss Pets always sense when you're going to the grocery. Buy me a steak.

8 June 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Look at Jon's socks, they are all perfectly tucked and organized. Okay, socks, line up! Count off! FORWARD HARCH! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOURP! Stay away from my sock drawer, Garfield. You make me nervous. As you were.

9 June 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Clear your head, Jon. There has to be a logical explanation for this, other than the teddy bear isn't housebroken.

10 June 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Pick up your stuff, Garfield. STUFF?! Pooky isn't STUFF! He's a real, live, feeling, breathing... Uh...inanimate object.

11 June 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

That sun is pretty strong today, Pooky. A guy could burn if he's not careful. -

12 June 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you know why I love Pooky? It is said we were given two ears and only one mouth so that we can tell only half of what we hear... Pooky has two ears and no mouth.

13 June 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

So, this is the bedtime story you want to hear, huh? "Bangor the Enforcer screamed, 'The world is ours!' at that very moment teddy bears everywhere crawled out of their toy chests and armed themselves". This is a side of teddy bears I'das soon n

14 June 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

And then about April of '81 or was it '82, my voice changed and I started singing the baritone part. Gee, Pooky. I'm tired of talking about me... YOU talk about me for a while.

15 June 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Persons At Work How fortuitous, someone was kind enough to dig this hole for me. I'll cover it with these branches and play a little trick on Odie. Hey, Odie, have a bone. BOING! Something's not right here. OH NO! IT'S THE OLDRUBBER HOLE GAG!

16 June 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

This sun is enough to bake your brains. That, of course, doesn't affect Odie.

17 June 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

It must be a zillion degrees out there, Garfield. Let's turn on the radio and find out what the temperature is. You mean this radio?

18 June 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

SURPRISE! Happy birthday, Garfield! I had a feeling this was coming.

19 June 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Observe, beating the heat is simply a matter of mind over body. I'm cold. I'm cold. I'm cold. Unfortunately, my body has a mind of its own.

20 June 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

-

21 June 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Have some lemonade, Garfield. GUSH! Refreshed? Yo.

22 June 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Sleeping, we do more of it than anything else in life, and know very little about it. Welcome to the "Wonderful World Of 'Sleep". Today we will examine fascinating sleeping positions. Z Jon here is demonstrating the classic fetalposition. Odie i

23 June 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, all you turkeys! You have to go to work and I don't! Spare time would be more fun if I had less to spare.

24 June 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I love lying on the sill watching the rain. KA-BOOM! I love lying under the bed listening to the rain.

25 June 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

-

26 June 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

What do you suppose the chances are of me leaping from this sill and having the window slam shut on my tail? SLAM! Do I know me or what?

27 June 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Most cats would be angry hanging by the tail from a window. But not me. I'M FURIOUS!

28 June 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Let me get you out of the window, Garfield. There you go. BONK! I don't know whether to thank Jon, or kill him.

29 June 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Shoo-doop boowa, shoo-doop boowa. Well I was workin' last night on my piston head, when my best friend told me my girl was dead. Well, I'll sure, I'll sure, I'll sure I'll sure, I'll sure, I'll sure, I'll sure, I'll sure, I'll sure -KA-CHUNK I'll sure mis

30 June 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

This tree is tempting me to climb it, but I'm standing my ground this time. YOU WHAT?! I can't resist a double dare.

1 July 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I'll get out of this tree sooner or later. Cats always do. No cat has ever lived his whole life up a tree. I have. You stay out of this.

2 July 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

What's your name? Ed. Now let me get this straight, Ed. You say you've never been on the ground? What's ground? I see...

3 July 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Come clean, Ed. You can't tell me you've never been on the ground. That's impossible. Maybe you're right. Mom, have I ever been on the ground? What's ground?

4 July 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I'd like you to meet my twin brother, Ted. Ed! Ted is a squirrel! No wonder mother always liked him best!

5 July 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

This is just great. Here I am stuck up a tree with a cat who's been raised by squirrels. SQUAWK! Now what are you doing? Storing birds for the winter.

6 July 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's see, it's over and under, then through. I'm taking you out to eat, Garfield. You'll have to wear this to get into the restaurant. I'll have a steak and my ca...er...son will have a triple order of lasagna and a cup of cocoa. Thisis an exclusive rest

7 July 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Can you imagine a cat being raised by squirrels? I gotta get Ed out of this tree before it's too late. Too late for what? Never mind.

8 July 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

It's time we get out of this tree, Ed. How do we do that? CRACK! Funny you should ask.

9 July 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Welcome to your first step on earth, Ed! What do you think? Wow! Wild! Weird! What are you doing? I've never walked sideways sideways before.

10 July 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, Ed, what do you think of your first trip out of your tree? Ed? I think I have a fear of low places.

11 July 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Since you've been raised by squirrels, Ed, you have a lot to learn about being a cat. What is that? That is a dog. Cats are afraid of dogs. What? I have forgotten.

12 July 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I gotta go home, Garfield. What for? I miss mother, the squirrel. You're weird, Ed. You're lucky, too.

13 July 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

King Cattaeatalotta gives a peace offering to the volcano that claimed young princess Angora. Up against the wall, you crumbums, or I'll give your backsides a taste of my daisy! Make love, not dog pounds. Here, my dear, perhaps thiswill will make up for

14 July 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Ha, ha, ha! I love my new Monday suit. CLANK CLANK Nothing can get me now. CLANK CREAK Except possibly rust.

15 July 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Something is not right here. WHAM! I knew it!!! Today is Monday cleverly disguised as Tuesday.

16 July 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

There's nothing more annoying than a leaky faucet. DRIP DRIP DRIP DRIP DRIP DRIP DRIP DRIP DRIP DRIP Unless it's a leaky dog.

17 July 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

DRIP DRIP DRIP DRIP DRIP DRIP DRIP Come here, Odie. DRIP DRIP DRIP Let me tighten your gasket.

18 July 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Get rid of the dog!

19 July 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Look at those cars out there, Garfield. What a fascinating assemblage. All those people in their tiny steel universes, moving to the choreography of the traffic light. What are your observations on the subject, Garfield? 17 blue ones havegone by 11 red on

20 July 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield! It's going to be a beautiful day! Let's spend it outside! Where are my swim trunks? There's suntan lotion in here somewhere. And now a picnic lunch! PERFECT DAY, HERE WE COME! Rats. Missed it.

21 July 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Ladies and gentlemen, for your entertainment pleasure, I've added music to my act. I am proud to introduce the man with the plan from the street with the beat. Mr. Skins!

22 July 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I knew a dog who was o ugly, he had to... TIDDY-BOOM! Let's talk timing.

23 July 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

But seriously though, folks, how am I doing so far? SPLAT! Et tu, rhythm section?

24 July 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I knew a dog who was so ugly, his fleas wore dog collars! TIDDY-BOOM TIDDY-BOOM TIDDY-BOOM TIDDY-BOOM TIDDY-BOOM Padding our part, are we?

25 July 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

And now for the dog joke of the night. Mr. Skins, may I have a drum roll please? -

26 July 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

And now for a brief musical interlude with Mr. Skins. NO! NO! NOT THAT ONE! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Not the "Lithuanian Rain Dance"

27 July 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Ooch! Eech! Ouch! Hot, hot, hot. It's hot out there. It's too hot to move. It's too hot to think, It's just too hot. rrr ft Garfield! Odie! Stop fighting.

28 July 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Here you are, Garfield. I call it "Breakfast Surprise". BLAT! If I wanted a surprise, I'd eat in the dark.

29 July 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

It's times like this I wish Odie could talk.

30 July 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you want something to eat, boys? BARK! BARK! Do you? Huh? huh? YIP! YIP! BARK! The word "dignity" is not in a dog's vocabulary.

31 July 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I am cat, hear me roar, I am too big to ignore. SNAP! Perhaps I should consider a career change.

1 August 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

It's shorts weather.

2 August 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

BARK! Hey, Odie. Come back here. Do that again. I can still hear a little out of this ear.

3 August 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh yuk! A spider! Hold still, spider, while I squash you with this window. SLAM! tinkle tinkle PLOP! CRASH! KA-BOOM! Rats! Missed it.

4 August 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Look what you did to that chair, Garfield, You're too fat. I am not too fat. They just don't make chairs the way they used to. They don't make doors the way they used to either.

5 August 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you wouldn't be fat if your eyes weren't larger than your stomach. THAT'S JUST AN EXPRESSION!

6 August 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I'm putting you on a diet. ARRRGH! I know you hate diets. If you can think of a better way to lose weight, I'm willing to listen. Amputate something!

7 August 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Ah, there is nothing more refreshing than a leaf of fresh lettuce for the wight conscious. Thank you so much for the delightful diet, Jon. Where are you going? I'm going to die now.

8 August 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

There's an interesting bit of diet trivia. A pie cut into tiny slices has fewer calories than an entire pie.

9 August 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

ZIP -

10 August 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield! Come here quick! Look, Garfield, the carnival has come to town! Let's go! Whoopty doo. Do you know what I love most about a carnival? the intellectual stimulation? I love the sideshow. Uh, Jon? The fat woman! The rubberman! the dinosaur boy

11 August 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Before After

12 August 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

How's the coffee? It's a little weak.

13 August 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, Mr. Finicky Eater, here's your dinner. What is it? It's Coquille Saint-Jacques garnished with Belgian endive and laced with French truffles. AGAIN?!

14 August 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

See what you think about my lemonade, Garfield. Needs sugar? Needs sugar.

15 August 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

-

16 August 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

These new sodas are great. They're sugar-free and caffeine-free. And flavor-free.

17 August 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, where are you going? GARFIELD! Well, I hope you feel like a complete idiot. That is a hot dog truck, not a hot dog. I do feel sorta silly. NOW WHAT?! Now for dessert.

18 August 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Z HEY! When there's napping to do around here, I'LL do it.

19 August 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

You're late for dinner, Garfield. I assume you have a good excuse. My morning nap raged out of control.

20 August 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Rats. I hate it when this happens to me. Daytime insomnia.

21 August 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I FELL ASLEEP ON MY TENNIS RACKET, OKAY?! Oh.

22 August 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

There must be millions of ants down there. I wonder how you tell the difference between boy ants and girl ants. I guess they didn't have any trouble figuring it out.

23 August 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, bug. You're ugly. You're creepy. You're history. SQUIK

24 August 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

* Eat me. I can't eat you. You're Jon's favorite fern. What are fronds for? I might get in trouble. Aw, come on. Take one little taste. You'll like me. MUNCH CHOMP MUNCH CHOMP GARFIELD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! Just trying to makeeverybody happy. Thank you.

25 August 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Gee, Jon's pancakes sure look good. I'd love to take them from him, but I'm not that kind of guy. But the Caped Avenger is!

26 August 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

The Lone Ranger has Tonto, the Green Hornet has Kato, and Batman has Robin. The Caped Avenger needs a sidekick too. Then again, I may go this a capella.

27 August 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

As the new sidekick of the Caped Avenger, you need a neat name. What shall I call you? SLURP Come along, "Slurp".

28 August 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Slurp, as the Caped Avenger's sidekick, you need a costume. You've missed the point.

29 August 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, Slurp, go out and find a costume befitting the sidekick of the Caped Avenger. Rule number one: never dress better than the hero. slap slap slap

30 August 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Here comes my sidekick, Slurp. CRASH! Hey, Slurp, maybe you should cut some eyeholes in your mask.

31 August 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Z Rats! I'm hungry. I always wake up in the middle of the night hungry. Oh well, let's look around. Hello, what's this? It feels like a big old loaf of pumpernickel. YIP! Sorry about that, Odie. All right! Olives! I love Olives! I

1 September 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

like to suck the pimentos out first and then nibble on the green part till it's gone. SHUP I assume there's a logical explanation for this. CLICK I'm so embarrassed.

2 September 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Slurp, our mission in life is to seek out evil wherever it may lurk. LOOK! I'll bet there's some leftover evil in that refrigerator.

3 September 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Now that I have a sidekick, I can get into all sorts of trouble and he will protect me. Hey, dog, your mother chases garbage trucks. SMACK What do you mean, you resign your commission?

4 September 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

The Caped Avenger sees a door that must be broken down. Slurp, take that door out! I love sidekicks. They do all the painful stuff.

5 September 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Come along, Slurp. Let's go fight for truth and justice. Look! There's a big dog beating up on a little dog! That's unjust! There's only one thing to do. BONK! We'll just fight for truth today.

6 September 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh no! My blanket's not here! How am I going to be the Caped Avenger today? Maybe Jon's got something. Somehow I don't think the "Paisley Avenger" is going to cut it.

7 September 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Pet Shop Look at all those poor animals in there all caged up. This looks like a job for... Freedom Fighter! YOU'RE FREE! YOU'RE FREE! GO FOR IT! Hmmm, folks must not be heavily into freedom these days. You're secure! You'resecure! SLAM!

8 September 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's go to a movie tonight. Here's one about kids at a day-care center who save the world. It's been done. How about "Ninja Grandmother"? You're getting warmer. Here it is! "The Angry Mauve Planet" Sounds like a contemporary remake.

9 September 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, guys, there's one thing we need before we go into the movie. SNACKS! I'd like the banana-flavored tooth busters, the flaming mouth things, the triple-buttered nut clusters and three pumpkin fizz sodas. That will be $89.50 Uh, howabout some popcorn?

10 September 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I probably shouldn't ask this, but where did Odie get the bubble gum? PLOP! Don't ask, and don't look under the seats.

11 September 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Cut that out.

12 September 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Where are you going? The movie isn't over yet. The movie is over when the popcorn is finished.

13 September 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Why did we waste our evening at that movie? And why was the photography so bad? And why did they hand me three pairs of 3-D glasses?

14 September 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD! IT'S TRIPLE-COUPON DAY AT THE SUPERMARKET. WE GOTTA HURRY! Here it is, triple-coupon day at the market. Shoppers are lined up and eagerly awaiting the opening of the store. There's the green flag! As the pack backs up behindthe Butz Sisters, The

15 September 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Check the mail for me, will you, Garfield? POOMP! Anything for me? Just this package that came airmail.

16 September 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

So, back again, huh? I thought you learned your lesson last time. THIS TIME YOU DIE! rrr

17 September 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I have some bad news, Garfield. I ran out of your favorite cat food. I'll survive. Odie chewed up your scratching post. Big deal. And Frank left Marcia for Stephanie. HOW COULD HE?!

18 September 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

There's a mouse in the house. What are you going to do about it? Lighten up, Jon. How much can one little mouse eat? Can we talk? Nngh!

19 September 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, guys, it's time for the late night fright movie. Remember, Odie. It's your turn this week. Tell us when we can look again.

20 September 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

plop What's the matter, Garfield? You got two left feet? The truth hurts.

21 September 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

KISS -

22 September 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I hate walking through tall weeds. I pick up bugs and stickers. And little dogs with sharp teeth

23 September 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

rrr SNAP! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!

24 September 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

* Static electricity is a wonderful thing.

25 September 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Odie. Do me a favor, will you. Thanks.

26 September 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

GOOSH! Just as I thought. It's just eyeballs and a bow.

27 September 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, dog, how about some pepper to go with that tail. WAH-CHOO! Gesundheit.

28 September 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Ouch SWISH SWISH There's something about carrying a stick that gives one a feeling of authority. Fiy my dinner! Get a haircut! Clean up that mess! poke Get some exercise! Make your bed! Lose weight! The bigger the stick, the greaterthe authority, huh? Wel

29 September 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Ooo, look at that stick! That isn't just any stick. That's a lucky special stick. Lucky special sticks run on imagination. This is one toy batteries won't help.

30 September 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Odie, where's your lucky special stick? Everyone needs a luck special stick.

1 October 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP Hey, Jon, my lucky special stick wants you to get up and fix my breakfast! A loyal friend, the lucky special stick.

2 October 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Dogs can't hurt me as long as I carry my lucky special stick. Of course, sometimes I have to carry it pretty fast.

3 October 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

You're not going to believe this. When was the last time you saw a stick retrieve a dog?

4 October 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Nothing can harm me as long as I have my lucky special stick SNAP! They don't make lucky special sticks like they used to.

5 October 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to take a nap now, Nermal. If you so much as touch my food, I'll squash you flat, okay? KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK Who are you? Don't you remember? I'm Nermal, the kitten you tried to starve a few years ago. I came back to replay oldunkindness! WHAP! WH

6 October 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you're sleeping your life away. There's a whole world out there for the taking. Great. Have it sent to my bed.

7 October 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

-

8 October 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Boy, am I bored. I'm so bored I have nothing better to do than lie here flat as a pancake. A big fluffy pancake dripping with butter and maple syrup. Boy, am I hungry.

9 October 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon, here's something I feel I should tell you, because you're going to find out anyway. You know how much Odie drools. I had to sandbag his tongue.

10 October 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

There are hugs and there are hugs. But, there are no hugs like bear hugs.

11 October 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

CLONK I hate that when the coaster sticks to my glass then falls onto the table! Garfield, cud I haff a wud wif you?

12 October 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you watch too much television. Probably. You could be doing much better things with your time than staring at a TV set. That's for sure. There's a whole world out there to experience. I imagine so. Uh, you could be, ...uh,you could, uh. Why wou

13 October 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Surprise! I got you a canopy bed! Allright! I feel like a Sissy.

14 October 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

YAWN WHA?! These canopy beds take some getting used to.

15 October 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Are you ashamed of your new bed, Garfield? What gives you that idea?

16 October 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon finally got me a bed with some class. But it's just not me. I have my pride. And pride, of course, is the middle class substitute for class.

17 October 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

CLICK And just what are you doing? I had this incredible urge to take inventory.

18 October 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

LIAR!

19 October 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

It knows where I am. I know it's here. I can feel its presence. There's no escaping it. Once it has you, you're a goner! Run for it, Garfield! Here it comes again! YOU WON'T TAKE ME WITHOUT A FIGHT. ARRRGH! Another victim of anap attack. Z

20 October 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello, I'm Nermal, the world's cutest kitten. Go away, Nermal. I'm taking a beauty nap. Beauty nap? That could take weeks! I hate him.

21 October 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

-

22 October 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Now I wonder what Nermal could be up to. THERE'S A SHARK IN MY WATER BOWL! Oh.

23 October 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Jump onto the pillow, Nermal! BLAT! You did that on purpose, did you? I do everything on purpose.

24 October 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

You don't have to play with that pathetic little ball of yarn, Nermal, I'll get my personal ball of yarn for you. How nice! Maybe Garfield likes me after all!

25 October 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Answer me this... Why is it when they say an adult has the "mind of a child," they lock him up? While children are allowed to run free in the streets?

26 October 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, well, well. Odie's sitting in front of the recliner. Let's have some fun, shall we? Watch this. WHUMP! WHAP! I hate to brag, but it took a brilliant mind to figure that gag out. SMACK!

27 October 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

KLANG! Okay! Okay! You didn't have to shout.

28 October 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Let me tell you about my Monday. Monday was going great. I thought it was going to be the first Monday of my life that didn't stink. I got up in the middle of the night and ate some jawbreakers. Then I woke up this morning and my marblecollection was miss

29 October 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield! I just bought a Swiss army knife. It does about a million things! Sure! I've seen those knives before. They're about as useless as... FOOMP! That's a new one on me.

30 October 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon, I have decided my living area is a mite drab. I have some plans to spiff it up a bit. What? No servant's quarters? Why, of course, silly! Right over there behind the pool.

31 October 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Gee, I wish we could get better reception on the television. Z Better.

1 November 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, begging for food is not going to get you anything to eat. Throwing a tantrum is not going to get you anything to eat. WAH! Now you're getting somewhere.

2 November 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Many of you have probably noticed you wake up in the morning a pound or two lighter then when you went to bed. Now, just where does all that weight go? I'm here to tell you that the atmosphere around us is filled with the fat ofsleeping people! Furthermo

3 November 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

BONK! OUCH! WHANG! YOU STUPID APPLE TREE! Tink! I must learn to curb this temper of mine.

4 November 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

My mom writes the greatest letters, Garfield. Listen to this... Don't spoil it for me, Jon. I'm waiting for the movie to come out.

5 November 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I know you're hiding out there somewhere. Come on. Let's go to the vet! FUMP! AHA! I hate autumn.

6 November 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

GOOSH You drink too much coffee, Garfield. Oh, yeah? Well, tell that to my nap. Maybe Jon was right...

7 November 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you make a lovely fire. I do make a lovely fire. Well, I gotta get ready for my date. You enjoy your lovely fire. I'll enjoy my lovely fire. HEY! WHERE ARE ALL My BOW TIES?! They make a lovely fire.

8 November 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Most cat owners reflect the grace, style and poise of their cats. Most cat owners are informed, sensitive and intelligent. Bozo, the wonder nerd here, doesn't know what century it is.

9 November 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Z BREAKFAST TIME, GARFIELD! Ho, boy, I'm so tired my limbs feel like lead. It's going to be tough getting up this morning. Come on, Garfield! You can do it! Unngh! You can do it, boy! I MADE IT! I'M UP! Rats! I was only dreamingI got up. BREAKFAST TIME,

10 November 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, very well, Garfield, you may have one bite of my spaghetti. twirl twirl twirl I don't give that cat enough credit.

11 November 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN! THERE'S A BLACK HOLE DEAD AHEAD! WE CAN'T TURN BACK! THE GRAVITATIONAL PULL IS TOO GREAT! ARRRRRRGH! They just went where no man has gone before.

12 November 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Which do you want, Garfield? The lasagna or the bananas? The bananas? We're talking play value here.

13 November 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I found a food that even you won't be able to play with, Garfield, tomato soup. SPLUT As long as I live, I'll never understand cats. Cats? What are cats? We soda crackers know nothing of cats.

14 November 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, the world famous tomato soup diver, scours the murky depths in search of the elusive tomato guppy. QUICK! GIMME THAT CAMERA! For the first time in history the spawning habits of the tomato guppy are captured on film. CLICK

15 November 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Wealthy philanthropist, J. Worthington III was found face down in his tomato soup. Was it natural causes? GARFIELD! Or was it because he was about to write J. Worthington IV out of his will?

16 November 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield, did you ever wonder why they always have commercials at the good parts? I wonder if fish have taste buds. I hate it when Jon fishes. His mouth starts wandering. Where do the ripples in the water go? If people had furall over their bodies, w

17 November 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello, I'm RX-2, your talking scale. If you step on me, I'll tell you your weight. GET OFF! GET OFF! GET OFF! GET OFF! Whew! Thank you! Wise guy.

18 November 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

How am I doing, RX-2? You know those two pounds you lost last week? Yes. They are back with reinforcements.

19 November 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

You've gained weight, Garfield. I wonder how he knew me.

20 November 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

How's my favorite talking scale? Are you ready to weigh me? Uh...I'll tell you what. What? What say we weigh one part at a time, and I'll give you a total. Very funny.

21 November 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

You weigh 175 pounds and you are 6 feet tall. How do you know my height? I'm diversifying.

22 November 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Your weight is the same as yesterday, sir. Have a nice day. Talking scales. What will they think of next? What a lard ball. You're telling me?

23 November 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, honey. And people think cats do strange things. I'm in the mood for love * Well, Garfield, how do I look? You don't like it, huh? Maybe if I changed my tie and my pants and my... Now what do you think? Great!

24 November 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I'll see you later. People who have no minds of their own DESERVE to look like clowns.

25 November 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

There's a nice thing about owning a cat. sniff CRASH! But I don't know what it is.

26 November 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, talking scale, how much do I weigh? Do you mind if I ask a personal question first? Shoot. How many of you are there?

27 November 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you eat food like it grows on trees. I wasn't born yesterday. I know the food fairy brings it in the night. What if the food just stopped? I could handle that. It's the eating I would miss.

28 November 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know this mailman was taken. That's quite all right.

29 November 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I know I haven't written yet, mom. I'm sorry. Yes, I'll come visit you when I can, okay? I FEEL LIKE SUCH a HEEL! Jon takes so many guilt trips, he qualifies for the frequent flyer plan.

30 November 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

May I have your attention, please! Ladieees and gentlemen! Odie-The-Amazing will now dive into this glass of water! Of course he is going to need a little encouragement. Go for it, Odie! I'm going to make you a star! WHOAM! LET GO!LET GO! SPLUT! SPLOOT! W

1 December 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Great! It's here! Some people wear their emotions on their sleeves. I wear my opinions on my belly. I Hate Dogs

2 December 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I Hate Dogs Gee...I didn't think dogs could read.

3 December 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

CUT THAT OUT, ODIE! How would you like it if I licked you? It just occurred to me. Someday I'm going to have to put this tongue back in my mouth.

4 December 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, buddy. I'm a bathroom scale. So? So I don't do livestock. Me and my big voice chip.

5 December 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie must be getting something out of this wall I'm not.

6 December 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I don't believe I fell for that.

7 December 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

MOTHER!!! What say we rest this lunch off in the park? Splendid idea. That was a great lunch. Boy, am I stuffed! Look at the size of this belly. Oh, yeah? Look at this! I'm fatter than you are. Check this out! You two aredisgusting. It's no wonder we're s

8 December 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Why the long face, Garfield? I don't know. Are you depressed because you're fat and lazy and out of shape? Why is it friends aren't happy until they've given some direction to your depression?

9 December 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

You look a little depressed, Garfield. Bingo. Just remember, when you're flat on your back, the only way to kook is up. Thank you, Jon. I am no longer depressed. Now I'm suicidal.

10 December 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I have some words of wisdom to help you beat those old blues, buddy. He's gonna get cryptic again. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day. Oh, great...I'm going to be up all night figuring that one out.

11 December 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I have you figured out, Garfield. You refuse to take life on because you're afraid of failure. That shows what Jon knows about human nature. Actually, I have a deep-seated fear of success.

12 December 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, your life is a big, fat drag. Do you know that? You sleep to escape. You eat to escape... You need more escapes.

13 December 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Boy, am I in a rotten mood. CRASH! This must be serious...that didn't even cheer me up.

14 December 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

toing SPLAT! And now some carrots for color. Interesting. toing And just how long have you been sticking food to the ceiling? Oh, for quite some time now.

15 December 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Better.

16 December 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm housecleaning today, Garfield. So throw out all your useless stuff, okay? Okaaaaay. Garfield, may I have a word with you?

17 December 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield! Come on in! How do you do that? Simple...fat floats.

18 December 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

You may not know this, Garfield, but I'm somewhat of an expert at reading tea leaves. Ah, yes, it says here you will have a long and fruitful life. Your owner is kind and generous, and you will travel soon. Any questions? May I have mycocoa back?

19 December 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, do you want your eggs beaten? Yeah. And while you're at it, squeeze the orange juice. Then choke some toast And mangle the bacon! I'm worried about that boy.

20 December 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

PURRRRRR, purr, purr. Actios speak louder than purrs.

21 December 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

slurp! poo poo poo I spit out the hole.

22 December 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

WHA?! Let me guess. It's time to trim the Christmas tree, right? You must be psychic.

23 December 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Come on, Odie. The sooner we go to bed, the sooner it will be Christmas morning. pat pat pat Christmas eve is the longest night of the year. I imagine it would be shorter if we could ever fall asleep.

24 December 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Merry Christmas, Garfield! Open your presents, buddy. What's the holdup? I'm just savoring the moment. This is my favorite morning of the whole year. All out differences are set aside and all the love we feel for one another is wrapped upin the gifts we h

25 December 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

What a great Christmas! Jon got me the perfect gift...food. Hey, Garfield, are you enjoying your present? I'd never seen a radio made to look like a hamburger! *

26 December 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Pooky, I need ahug. It's impossible to give a hug without getting one back.

27 December 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

OH NO! I'M BEING HUGGED! How dare you hug an unarmed cat from behind! I feel...I feel, uh...I feel. Pretty good, actually.

28 December 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you boys wanna go out? Well, do you, huh? HUH? HUH? DO YUH? HUH? HUH? Open the darn door. The direct aprroach is the best approach.

29 December 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

It's just about time... SPLUT! Yup, there's the 8:25 pie right on schedule.

30 December 1985
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, if this isn't RX-2, the talking scale. How are you today, felly? I'm depressed. What could a scale possibly be depressed about? How would you like to be stepped on every day and called a liar? Good point.

31 December 1985
 




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