1978 1979 1980 1981 1982 1983 1984 1985 1986 1987 1988 1989 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017
 
 


 
Garfield

That was some new year's celebration last night, wasn't it, Garfield? Did anyone get the license number of the party that hit me? Are you going to get up today? No way! I got up yesterday and look what happened to me! Not feeling well,huh? It would take t

1 January 1985
 


 
Garfield

I don't mind grocery shopping. And I don't mind carrying them home. This is the part I dread.

2 January 1985
 


 
Garfield

As long as you're in the way, why don't you find a place to put these groceries. GOBBLE! GOBBLE! GOBBLE! I wanted you to put them in the pantry! Urp...that can be arranged.

3 January 1985
 


 
Garfield

Okay, guys, I have a new house rule. From now on no pets are allowed on the furniture. Harf! Harf! Harf! Wah! Ha! Ha! I don't get no respect.

4 January 1985
 


 
Garfield

One thing I love about Odie... He's so pushoffable.

5 January 1985
 


 
Garfield

I'm bored. I'm bored, bored, bored. Wait a minute! I control my own destiny! I'll create an exclusive country club resort. First, I'll put some sandbox sand in the sunbeam. Replete with the usual resort accouterments. Hey, what agreat idea! I wonder how h

6 January 1985
 


 
Garfield

Well, the holidays are finally over and the ol' waistline has explored new vistas. pat pat It is time to declare another NATIONAL FAT WEEK. We shall tell skinny jokes and revel in our fat. I'm talking about you, chubby.

7 January 1985
 


 
Garfield

We fat people get a lot more out of life. We eat big. We drink big, we laugh big. HAR! HAR! HAR! Are you okay, Garfield? You wouldn't understand, skinny person.

8 January 1985
 


 
Garfield

Being skinny isn't always a bed of roses. It must be tough wearing suspenders to hold your socks up. I knew a guy who was so skinny, he had to step on the scales twice to weight himself!

9 January 1985
 


 
Garfield

I think skinny people are funny... Their pants keep falling down. thump thump thump I knew a kid who was so skinny, all he could wear was a hat!

10 January 1985
 


 
Garfield

Don't eat that pie! It's fattening! Eat it! You'll regret it tomorrow. Tomorrow never comes! FLIP I'd be thinner if my conscience were quicker-witted.

11 January 1985
 


 
Garfield

Fat people are healthier than skinny people in many ways... For instance, no fat person has ever been diagnosed as having vatorphobia. That, of course, is the fear of starving to death in a stuck elevator.

12 January 1985
 


 
Garfield

This is my lucky day. Wha...? SCRIIICK POOF! It grew back! I've discovered the bottomless pan of lasagna! BLIP I knew it! I knew it! I knew it was too good to be true!

13 January 1985
 


 
Garfield

SLUP! THAT WAS MY LAST CUP OF COFFEE! I spilled some. You can suck it out of my sweater.

14 January 1985
 


 
Garfield

What are you watching, Garfield? I don't know. Who's the lead character? I don't know. What's the plot? Hey! I'm watching television! Stop making me think, okay?

15 January 1985
 


 
Garfield

SLURP GULP BURP SMACK ERP OH YUK! How disgusting! There's a people hair in my cat food!

16 January 1985
 


 
Garfield

One of my pet peeves is people who never finish what they start. I do not happen to be one of those people. My philosophy is, "never start anything."

17 January 1985
 


 
Garfield

BLAT! Oops! Clean that up, Garfield. Patience, my friend. There are people to do those things. ZIP!

18 January 1985
 


 
Garfield

OOOOO BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! I'll bite. What is it? A dummy detector.

19 January 1985
 


 
Garfield

tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity BONK! PANT PANT plunk CLAP CLAP CLAP Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

20 January 1985
 


 
Garfield

zip! Hey! Give my napkin back! Smile when you speak to Sumo Cat, fella.

21 January 1985
 


 
Garfield

Sumo Cat has studied Sumo wrestling for years. Sumo Cat has mastered the most dreaded tricks of his trade. SNAP!

22 January 1985
 


 
Garfield

Sumo Cat assumes the classic Sumo wrestling position. There is only one tiny drawback to this position... Severe cramping!

23 January 1985
 


 
Garfield

Karate Cat demonstrates his art on a table leg. HIIYAH! SNAP! Karate Cat also demonstrates incredible lack of foresight.

24 January 1985
 


 
Garfield

Most practitioners of Karate are impervious to pain. HIIYAH! SMACK! I happen to be of the previous to pain persuasion.

25 January 1985
 


 
Garfield

For your pleasure, I, Judo Cat, will lay a basic move on this hapless bystander. SMACK! Leave it up to a dumb dog's rubber tongue to make a mockery of the martial arts.

26 January 1985
 


 
Garfield

Fetch the apple, Odie. I send Odie to fetch an apple, and he brings back an apple pie. I think I'm onto something here. Fetch the T-bone, Odie, my boy. -

27 January 1985
 


 
Garfield

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the cutest cat of all? Hi there. Don't answer that.

28 January 1985
 


 
Garfield

Do you know what I hate about you, Nermal? You're so one dimensional. Oh yeah? And what dimension is that? YOUTH!

29 January 1985
 


 
Garfield

Nermal, you're cute, but you're not very bright. Doesn't that bother you? Oh no. I figure I'll grow out of this cute stage sooner or later. I rest my case.

30 January 1985
 


 
Garfield

Nermal, would you rather have your good looks or my intellect? My good looks. I have years and years to get your intellect. That hurt.

31 January 1985
 




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