knock knock Who's there? - Uhhh...candy gram? You can't fool me, mystery meat. You want out to wreak havoc. - Today the refrigerator, tomorrow the world!
1 March 1985
- I wonder if I should clean the refrigerator. - The bacon is gazing on the lettuce and he asks if the refrigerator needs cleaning.
2 March 1985
OH NO! - GARFIELD! YOU'RE SITTING IN MY SCRAMBLED EGGS! They're warm. - Okay, okay, here...enjoy. - NO, go ahead and sit in them, they're ruined now. RUINED? - JUST BECAUSE I STAY IN 'EM, IT'S NOT LIKE YOUR STUPID SCRAMBLED EGGS ARE DISEASED,
3 March 1985
It's time for your checkup, Garfield. I'll get checked-up while the lady vet gets checked out. - We gotta make sure you're in good condition. Right. - The only condition he's worried about is his glandular condition.
4 March 1985
Good morning, Mr. Arbuckle. - How did you know it was me? I wasn't even in the door yet! you have a distinctive cologne. - Oh, you mean my ''Ode De Lumberjack"? Bingo.
5 March 1985
How about a date, doc? Oh, let's not and say we did. - That's better than nothing, I guess. - Can we say I kissed you good night? If we can say I slapped you.
6 March 1985
Let's be honest with one another, Liz. - I'm a man. You're a woman. Get the picture? - That's the door. Get the picture? You'll have to draw it for him, doc.
7 March 1985
Do you think these shaders make me more mysterious? YOU don't need them. - Hey, good-lookin', what time do you get off work? - You just propositioned my coat rack. He might get lucky this time.
8 March 1985
In case you're thinking about asking me out, doc, forget it. I have plans. - I'm seeing this girl, ho is real cute and real clever and we laugh a lot. Do tell... - My, my, my! Do I detect a note of jealousy in your voice? I walked into that
9 March 1985
Sigh. - Garfield, you are worthless. Do you know that? - You are doing zero with your life...zip. Do you know that? poke poke - You should learn something new each day. It would lend purpose to this dreary existence of yours. - I'm going to
10 March 1985
Ah ah ahhhh! Don't touch that dial. We'll be right back. - -
11 March 1985
Our cat food is new and improved! - New and improved! New and improved! - Just think...all this time I've been eating old and inferior.
12 March 1985
Rats! Where's the Binky The Clown Show?! click click click - This remote control must be malfunctioning. click click click - NOW it works.
13 March 1985
NO NO! DON'T CHANGE THE CHANNEL! WE NEED THE RATINGS! - PLEEEEEASE! CLICK! Arrrgh! - Choice is a powerful thing.
14 March 1985
- CLICK - Whatever Jon paid for this TV remote control, it was worth it!
15 March 1985
These game shows are disgusting. - It's pathetic how some people will humiliate themselves to win money. - Jon does it for free. *
16 March 1985
- That's a pretty impressive display of shedding there, Odie. - But there isn't a dog born who can outshed a cat. - - Take that! - - I WON! I WON!
17 March 1985
SURF'S UP! SURF'S UP! - Garfield the Surfer King hangs three. - You're acting strangely lately, Garfield. You live in your world, I'll live in mine.
18 March 1985
Garfield, the vet says you are going to have to stay inside. There's a rare strain of Hawaiian cat flu going around. - - Too late, doc.
19 March 1985
Garfield, the vet says the Hawaiian cat flu will give you a voracious appetite and make you listless and cranky. - - I guess we'll never know if you're sick or not! I saw that one coming.
20 March 1985
Garfield, you have the Hawaiian cat flu. You're going to have to lie around all week. Oh, darn. - And you must stay inside. WHAT?! - For the first time in my life, I gotta get out!
21 March 1985
Garfield, I know you are suffering from the Hawaiian cat flu, but you look ridiculous doing that hula dance. - Watch my hands carefully, Jon. - Every movement has a meaning! BONK!
22 March 1985
You look much better this morning. You must be over the Hawaiian cat flu. I doubt that I ever had it. - What would you like for breakfast? Just some juice and a Danish. - And a roast pig! And six pineapples! And a pound of Macadamia nuts!
23 March 1985
Hey, hey. - Smile big, boys. I'm going to take your picture. - Move back a little farther. - Just a little farther. - SHOOP! - Uh-oh. - There appears to be a camera shoved up your nose. Nas wha I min nrying noo nell you!
24 March 1985
Mondays, I hate mondays. It seems like I just get done with one and along comes another one! - - Did you know you're cute when you're angry?
25 March 1985
- All right! A new world record! - Six chins.
26 March 1985
HOLY GOOD GRAVY! - I DIDN'T KNOW I HAD A BELLYBUTTON! - zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
27 March 1985
Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest one of all? - CRACK! tinkle tinkle - Shards shards on the floor...
28 March 1985
SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH - tap tap tap - It's okay, Jon...I've subdued the chair. It's safe to sit in now.
29 March 1985
There's only one drawback to an assertive lifestyle. - CRASH! - Sometimes you get the bear, and sometimes the bear gets you.
30 March 1985
- Here, Garfield. Eat! CLOMP! - Just look at you! You're a fright! - I get up early and groom myself because this is our special time together! - And the only place you take me is for granted! - - Are you trying to tell me something,
31 March 1985