I feel great today! I feel like curing a major disease, writing a best-selling book and stopping poverty! LOOK OUT, WORLD! HERE COMES GARFIELD! Is there anything yu need, Garfield? Yes...I need you to stop me.
The mailman makes a great scratching post. We'll be right back after this announcement. Oooo! A warm spot. It's no sunbeam, but it will do. ROWRR! The first rule of owning a cat: "Look before you sit".
GARFIELD'S Believe it, or DON'T! There is enough static electricity in 20 cats to start a car. But, it still won't start on a cold morning! Come on, guys. I'm late for work! Take a hike, jack. z z z z Believe it, or DON'T!
GARFIELD'S Believe it, or DON'T! Nick, a cat in Sweden, has eaten six mice a day for twelve years. That's over 26,000 mice! I spite of his notoriety, poor Nick is still single. Nick, about your breath... Believe it, or DON'T!
GARFIELD'S Believe it, or DON'T! Cats and dogs evolved from a single animal called a "cog". It became extinct when it barked up the wrong tree... BARK! BARK! BARK! A tree named "Bubba. Believe it, or DON'T!
GARFIELD'S Believe it, or DON'T! A cat in Lubbock, Texas gave birth to 57 kittens. When asked how she felt after giving birth to quinseptulets, she said: I'll feel better when the start sleeping through the night. Believe it, or DON'T!
Do you know what I love about cats the most? It's our dignity. Even royalty could learn from the dignified style with which we conduct our lives. Well, I see by the old clock on the floor, it's lunch time. Time to beg for table scraps.
Cat's cradle? I doubt it. World's LArgest Ball Of Twine World's largest ball of twine, huh? I wonder what this is for. Uh-oh! Don't worry, Garfield! I'll protect you from that fierce piece of string! I hate him.
Z I wonder how Garfield would look in my gag glasses? Z And tie, and shorts, and tennies? Z Good morning, Garfield. snort...Morning. Hee hee What are you laughing at, pea-brain? Sometimes I wish I were awake when I'm asleep.
We writers have an uncanny ability to observe ouselves from an omniscient point of view. "As the handsome cat gazed upon the folly of life about him he tossed his head back in laughter... Ha! Ha! Ha!" And the he fell right off his chair.
Garfield, I just want to tell you how proud I am of you. Jon, there's something I have to tell you. You've done a great job sticking with your diet this week. Listen to me, Jon. And that takes a lot of self-discipline. I ate your bunnyslippers.
How did you rats get your names? I'm called Rip because I'm fast. Juanita was my grandmother's name. How about you, Bob? That's the sound my head makes when it runs into a wall. I take it Bob isn't very bright. He couldn't get through amaze with a map.
scritch scritch scrith SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH BARK! BARK! Why don't you boys let yourselves out for a change? WHA?! CRASH It's time I give some serious consideration to adding a pet door.
I shall now meditate in order to enrich my life. There is nothing like meditation to get in touch with on'e self. Self...if you don't get out of this stupid position in about three seconds, you kneecaps are going to fall off!
Life is like a birdbath. It's made of concrete, filled with water, and uh...birds like to splash in it. Boy, that was dumb. Life isn't anything like a bird bath. tap tap Life...is like a sock monkey...
Behind every sunday is a monday. Jon had better wake up on time this morning. If he oversleeps he's going to regret it. I fact, I kind of hope he does oversleep. We'll have some fun. blink blink blink I'M AWAKE! I'M AWAKE! PARTYPOOPER!
I'd like to be able to stop each of those cars and aske the people where they're going. If they didn't have a good excuse I'd send them home. Of course, some of them may not have a home...how sad. "Car people".
Hold the diving board steady, Odie. Okay, let's give it a try! Out of the way, mutt! I'll be the first to try this swimming pool. Maybe we should check the assembly instructions again. scrittch scritch
I have some bad news about your birthday cake, Garfield. It collapsed under the weight of the candles. Is that an age joke? Oh well, it would probably have set off the smoke alarm anyway. TIME-OUT! UNFAIR! AGE JOKE!
What a night! I dreamed the house was surrounded by a pack of vicious dogs chanting, "Send out the cat! Send out the cat!" Good morning, Garfield. Would you like to go out? I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON MY SIDE! Or would you rather stay in?
HERE, KITTY, KITTY. Uh-oh. Hello, kitty. Would you like to come to my house? Take a hike, kid. I'll fix you lots of good things to eat. I'm with you! We'll have such a splendid time! And you can play with Muffin, too. Here you go,Muffin.
Why do *I* have to catch the rat? They're mean, with large pointy teeth. Hold on, boy. Remember you're a cat. A fierce, carnivorous, predarory animal. THe KING OF THE JUNGLE! Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Listen up, cat. I'm Binky The Clown. I'm the head clown around here and don't you forget it! It's a little hard to ignore. And respect...I demand respect. When I honk my nose, people snap to attention. He's full bore looney all right.
I tell you, friend, living in a pet shop is dehumanizing. There's no privacy. The overcrowded conditions are deplorable. Amen. Here's the ship ment of mice, Mrs. Ernsberger. Where do you want them? PUT 'EM IN HERE! WE'LL TAKE'M! WE CANMAKE ROOM!
No fern is too tough for the Caped Avenger (urp!) Steady, boy. Steady. Okay, Odie. Let's ee if you're worthy of being the Caped Avenger's high performance mode of transportation! FASTER! FASTER! ZIP! STOP! Seat belt...the CapedAvenger needs a seat belt.
Happy people must know something we don't. What's this? Why, thank you, Garfield. DOG FOOD! QUICK! GIMME SOMETHING TO DRINK! HOT SAUCE! I'M BURNING UP! GLUG GLUG GLUG GOLDFISH WATER! ANTIDOTE! ANTIDOTE! AARRGH! ANCHOVIES!! Thiscould go on for days.
Garfield, don't eat this food. It's for my party. Okay, Odie. Take these party invitations and put them in the mailbox. Come on, Garfield. The social event of the season has arrived. DING DONG I was expecting the upper crust. Andyou got the crumbs.
Well, the gifts are under the tree and the food is prepared. There's only one more order of business... I just want to tell you guys how much I love you. Jon is like Christmas. I only appreciate him once a year.