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Garfield

Do you wanna go out, boys? Do you? Huh? Huh? Do you? OKAY! GO FOR IT! Now we're too tired.

1 January 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

What are you doing with those binopculars, Garfield? I'm checking something out. Yup...I was right. There's boredom just as far as the eye can see.

2 January 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Nobody takes me seriously Not even me!

3 January 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

This is for you. Mail?! For me?! Wow! I'm important! I'm somebody. Hey, wait a minute! This is addressed to "occupant"! Are you ready for lunch, "occupant"? That's MISTER Occupant to you.

4 January 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Mornin', Garfield. Hello, little buddy, would you like a drink of wa-wa? Ha! Ha! I thought so! Jon talks to his fern more than he talks to me. EEEEK! Garfield, would you by any chance know what happened to my plant? Burp, if youhave anything to say to yo

5 January 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I feel great today! I feel like curing a major disease, writing a best-selling book and stopping poverty! LOOK OUT, WORLD! HERE COMES GARFIELD! Is there anything yu need, Garfield? Yes...I need you to stop me.

6 January 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

-

7 January 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

How much do I weigh, RX-2? Do you really want to know? Not really. Would you like a hint?

8 January 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's see how much you know about cats. Here are two people who, for all practical purposes, appear to be identical. Guess which one is allergic to cats.

9 January 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder if that floor is cold Yup...it's cold all right.

10 January 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I love hangig on the screen door. I can be a fly or a mountain climber... * WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! Or a door knocker. *

11 January 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Scram! This is my birdbath! I hate to see birds have a good time. HEY! THIS WATER IS FREEZING! UNNNGH! -

12 January 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Cats have an incredible innate ability to sense when you are not feeling well. Jon, I sense you are not feeling well. They also have anincredible innate lack of sympathy.

13 January 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Hands off, Garfield. I'm saving that for Odie. Nice try, guy.

14 January 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to give Garfield a little treat today. ARRRGH! You don't like shaved coconut? Shaved coconut, Yes. Albino spiders, no.

15 January 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Cats have an incredible innate ability to sense when you are feeling blue. Jon, I sense you are feeling blue. See? BONK! Cheer up!

16 January 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

We hve here the last piece of cake, Garfield. I suggest we draw straws to see who gets it. I'm not a betting man.

17 January 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

And now the world-class pancake flipper will demonstrate his skill. Pardon my ignorance, Mr. World-Class Pancake Flipper, but shouldn't the stove be turned on first?

18 January 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

The mailman makes a great scratching post. We'll be right back after this announcement. Oooo! A warm spot. It's no sunbeam, but it will do. ROWRR! The first rule of owning a cat: "Look before you sit".

19 January 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD'S Believe it, or DON'T! There is enough static electricity in 20 cats to start a car. But, it still won't start on a cold morning! Come on, guys. I'm late for work! Take a hike, jack. z z z z Believe it, or DON'T!

20 January 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD'S Believe it, or DON'T! A Jon Arbuckle claims to own a cat who can eat 10 times its body weight. To verify his claim we offered the cat 270 pounds of lasagna. The cat ate only 219 pounds of lasagna. Things went so well in therehearsal. Believe it

21 January 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD'S Believe it, or DON'T! Nick, a cat in Sweden, has eaten six mice a day for twelve years. That's over 26,000 mice! I spite of his notoriety, poor Nick is still single. Nick, about your breath... Believe it, or DON'T!

22 January 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD'S Believe it, or DON'T! Cats and dogs evolved from a single animal called a "cog". It became extinct when it barked up the wrong tree... BARK! BARK! BARK! A tree named "Bubba. Believe it, or DON'T!

23 January 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD'S Believe it, or DON'T! In 1957, a cat in Oregon salved a drowning child. But, it was under the legal size limit, so he threw the kid back. Believe it, or DON'T!

24 January 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD'S Believe it, or DON'T! A cat in Lubbock, Texas gave birth to 57 kittens. When asked how she felt after giving birth to quinseptulets, she said: I'll feel better when the start sleeping through the night. Believe it, or DON'T!

25 January 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

This looks like my lucky day! Look at ol' Jon out there working his fingers to the bone planting a flower bed. I guess I'd better get out there and give those flowers the Garfield touch. I'll start by stomping on a few. Then I'll chewon a few. Then I'll y

26 January 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh Gravity. Why fight it?

27 January 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

It's fun to lie here and muse on the meaning of life, and muse on the myriad of solutions to the world's woes, and to count the cracks in the ceiling.

28 January 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

People seem to be leading more active lifestyles these days. I wonder what that would be like? The only thing active about me is my imagination.

29 January 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

You people don't appreciate the stress we cats must deal with. What with having hair all over our bodies... Living in constant fear of split ends.

30 January 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Some people have the silliest phobias. I have a fear of letting my mind wander. I'm afraid it wouldn't come back.

31 January 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I gotta start getting more out of life. I gotta smell the roses along the way. Hey, Garfield, is there anything I can do for you? Bring me a rose.

1 February 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

In the news, today, cat season opens tomorrow! Z Snort, what's that sound? OH NO! I LEFt THE TELEVISION ON! On the all night movie channel! CLICK! CLUNK! I feel like such an unworthy parent! Z

2 February 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, this is Jon Arbuckle. My cat needs a checkup...what kind of cat is he? Uh, he's a registered yellow tabby with distinguished lineage. Actually, he's an orange meatball with stripes.

3 February 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield, let's get a pizza! SLAM! OH, NO! HA HA! On the way we'll stop at the vet. IT'S THE OLD BAIT-AND-SWITCH!

4 February 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I hate going to the vet. Actually, seeing the vet isn't so bad. It's the waiting room that depresses me.

5 February 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

The doctor's not looking. Now's my chance to make an escape! Stupid stainless steel table!

6 February 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, doc, do you mind if I have something to drink? Help yourself. There should be something in the refrigerator by the specimen bottles.

7 February 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

While you're at it, doc, how about giving ME a checkup? Say "Ahh". Ahh. What was that? You'll neve rhave to worry about liver flukes again.

8 February 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Two coat hangers. Two coat hangers and an empty closet. There you go, kids. * IT'S TRUE.

9 February 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, dog, you're ugly! Hey, dog, you're stupid! Hey, dog, you couldn't catch a '532 Packard! ROWF! YIP! YAP! YAP! BARK! You gotta flip the right switch!

10 February 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Some people love to linger over dinner. ZOOM! Garfield makes cameo appearances.

11 February 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you know what I love about cats the most? It's our dignity. Even royalty could learn from the dignified style with which we conduct our lives. Well, I see by the old clock on the floor, it's lunch time. Time to beg for table scraps.

12 February 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

My cat isn't perfect. He lies around a lot. In fact, I encourage him to lie around a lot. Because every time he moves, he destroys something.

13 February 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

scratch scratch scratch scratch CRUNCH! ARRRGH! IF YOU DESTROY ONE MORE THING AROUND THIS HOUSE, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! You're too late.

14 February 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Sharpening claws can be risky business. scratch scratch scratch SPROING! Sometimes the furniture is booby trapped.

15 February 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Cat's cradle? I doubt it. World's LArgest Ball Of Twine World's largest ball of twine, huh? I wonder what this is for. Uh-oh! Don't worry, Garfield! I'll protect you from that fierce piece of string! I hate him.

16 February 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Ah, here comes Arlene. Hello, Garfield. Unnnngh Yugstyx. You may dispense with the vanity. Whew! Thank you.

17 February 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

What's a girl like you doing in a place like this? But this is a nice place. Like I said...what's a girl like you doing in a place like this?

18 February 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

About that space between your front teeth, Arlene. Yes? When you smile, you look like a vending machine. Check that, a "cute" vending machine.

19 February 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Arlene, I'm sorry I picked on the space between your front teeth. Perhaps this little gift will make amends. What is it? A toothpick!

20 February 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

* * * * * You dance like you have two left feet. I do. Oh, yeah.

21 February 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Why hasn't our relationship grown? Because you're a wise guy and I'm self-centered. But, Garfield, no man is an island. Or, in your case, a continent. My ego and I will get back on you.

22 February 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Z I wonder how Garfield would look in my gag glasses? Z And tie, and shorts, and tennies? Z Good morning, Garfield. snort...Morning. Hee hee What are you laughing at, pea-brain? Sometimes I wish I were awake when I'm asleep.

23 February 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder what dog food tastes like? pant pant OH NO! MY EYES ARE DRYING OUT! MY TONGUE IS STARTING TO SWELL! I'M GETTING SHORT OF BREATH! PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT

24 February 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I have more respect for food than that.

25 February 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Isn't rain wonderful, Garfield? When it stops, the earth is cleansed and the plants are refreshed. And I get to go out on the driveway and stomp on earthworms.

26 February 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Uh-oh! Jon should never leave his bunny slippers under the bed alone. -

27 February 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie, you were a bad boy for chewing on the sofa. TAP TAP TAP Is this a private party, or can anyone play?

28 February 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! GLOP! The service here is slow, but at least the waiter is rude.

1 March 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Well this is another fine mess you've gotten me into. ** Oh, Garfield* Garfield's gon. The hogs ate him. Garfield, I have a big job for us today. I'm afraid I know what you're going to to do. I'm going to throw it out. But, it seems wejust got it! There c

2 March 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Where are they? Hey, Garfield, have you seen my golf shoes? I'm wearing them. Are you quite through?

3 March 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Guess where we're going, Garfield? We're going to clown college. We're going to play golf. Let's go! Very funny. I've never been so ashamed in my life.

4 March 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

WHIFF! Allow me. HOW COULD YOU?! YOU STUPID BALL! I'LL SHOW YOU!

5 March 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

WHIRRR! I think you swing too hard.

6 March 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

putt STOMP! WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?! You should thank me, you almost lost your ball down that hole.

7 March 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder why Jon always takes me golfing? CRASH! Sorry about your window, sir. My cat is just picking up the game. Bingo.

8 March 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I'd better check this out. ARRRGH! What happened?! YOU TURNED MY WATER COLLECION LOOSE? THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED!

9 March 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I think I'll write a book this week. They say everyone has a good book in them. I may have an entire library.

10 March 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

In order to write a book I must go out and live life. I think I'll run with the bulls in Pamplona! Then I'll write a book entitled, "The Stupidest Thing I've Ever Done".

11 March 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

We writers have an uncanny ability to observe ouselves from an omniscient point of view. "As the handsome cat gazed upon the folly of life about him he tossed his head back in laughter... Ha! Ha! Ha!" And the he fell right off his chair.

12 March 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Some people only talk about writing books. And some people do something about it. Yes...yes, this is how I want to be photographed for the book jacket.

13 March 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Go ahead and eat, Jon, I'm a writer. I'll sit here and observe you. I think I'll write an autobiography.

14 March 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I must suffer in order to write a great novel. WHANG! Thank you, Jon. I'll remember you in my acceptance speech for the Nobel Prize for literature.

15 March 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm home! SLAM! CRASH! CRASH! CRASH! YIP! GARFIELD! Why is it I get blamed for everything around here?!

16 March 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you prowl all night and you sleep all day. You also eat too much. What do you have to say for yourself? You only go around nine times in life, so grab for all the gusto you can get.

17 March 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, it's time to put you on another diet. ARRRGH! DO YOU KNOW WHAT A DIET COULD DO TO ME? I could waste away to normal!

18 March 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

The TV advertisers didn't waste any time. I've been on a diet one day and they're already running more food commercials.

19 March 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I gotta kick something. This diet is making me grumpy. tap Not to mention, weak.

20 March 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I just want to tell you how proud I am of you. Jon, there's something I have to tell you. You've done a great job sticking with your diet this week. Listen to me, Jon. And that takes a lot of self-discipline. I ate your bunnyslippers.

21 March 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

You shouldn't watch sad movies when you're on a diet, Garfield. You know how emotional you get. This isnt a sad movie. It's a food commercial.

22 March 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

SLURP! SLURP! SLURP! Uugh! This coffee is weak! What the? SLOSH Odie SLURP! Much better.

23 March 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Why is it I always have to go on diets? Oh, sure, I've put on pound or two... Or three or four or five.

24 March 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's your diet salad, Garfield. Would you like anything on it? If you don't mind. Perhaps you could garnish it with a chocolate cake.

25 March 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I think I know how Odie stays so slim. It must take a lot of energy to be that stupid. RRRRRR

26 March 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

You have lost three pounds. Congratulations, Garfield! Thank, you. Pssst, when do I get my fresh batteries? Later.

27 March 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, in order to successfully diet, you must change your eating habits. SPLUT!

28 March 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

On which days are most diets begun? Wrong. Monday is the second most popular day. Most diets begun "tomorrow".

29 March 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Jon. There's a spot on your shirt. Where? Ha! Ha! TOING! Hey, Odie, your shoelace is untied! Ha! Ha! TOIOIOIOIONG! Hey, Garfield! There's a huge, hairy spider crawling up your belly! Nice try, Jon! You gotta get up prettyearly in the morning to pull

30 March 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

RATS! Rats?! Where? Oh, no! Whatever shall we do? There goes the neighborhood! Wiseguy rats.

31 March 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Who are you? We, sir are rats. We're all brothers. BONK! Oh, yeah, one of us is a sister.

1 April 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Howdy, stranger. Rip, Juanita and Bob are our names and spreading pestilence is our game. Which one of you is Juanita? The one with "Eau de Vermin" behind her ears.

2 April 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

How did you rats get your names? I'm called Rip because I'm fast. Juanita was my grandmother's name. How about you, Bob? That's the sound my head makes when it runs into a wall. I take it Bob isn't very bright. He couldn't get through amaze with a map.

3 April 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon will kill me if he finds out I let rats into the house. I'll lure them out with the old "Pied Piper" ploy. * Okay, fat boy. Let's take it from the top.

4 April 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

What do you guys want to do today? Let's spread pestilence! Nah, let's lower somebody's property value. Or take a scenic sewer tour. You're disgusting. It's a living. Or run up an old man's pant leg?

5 April 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello, Garfield. Hello, Arlene. I see you're still fat. I see you stil have that space between your teeth. At least I can close my mouth. I can go on a diet. You're not likely to go on a diet. You're not likely to close your mouth. -Hey, why are we fighti

6 April 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I hate partly cloudy days. When it's sunny, I'm happy, when it's cloudy, I'm das. On a partly cloudy day I can use up a week's worth of moods.

7 April 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

My, my. You're up early this morning. I didn't ge tup early. My leg cramp did!

8 April 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I hate it when I can't ge tmilk cartons open. Let me give you a hand. HIYAH! THOCK! Amazing things: claws.

9 April 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

You stay out there, Garfield. I'll let you in when I'm good an ready. SCREEEEEEEE I'm ready. Good and.

10 April 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

All tucked in for the night? Yup. MY LASAGNA! I was hoping you wouldn't notice.

11 April 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

And now for the third tennis ball. TAH-DAH! A NEW WORLD'S RECORD. You spit those out very instant! Some people have no sense of history.

12 April 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Whoa! This is what I call a window of opportunity! No you don't, Odie! I saw it first! IT'S MINE! ALL MINE! Wait a minute, Odie. I have an idea! Why don't we COOPERATE to ge tthe pie? Then we will SHARE it! Sometimes the old axiomswork best. Like "t

13 April 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield, guess what? We are going to visit dad and mom on the farm again! Jon, you must be psychic. I was just lying here thinking it was time to restock the burrs in my fur.

14 April 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, mom, pass the potatoes, please. Scalloped, whipped, fried, baked or boiled? Mom, you always fix too much food. I know, honey, I know. Now, what would you like? i can't decide. Just give me a piece of pie. Apple, peach, pumpkin,blueberry, cherry, or b

15 April 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Farm life's great, isn't it, Garfield? However, I will admit it's a little slow. Nothing much to do but count the bricks in the old silo. 14,238

16 April 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Look, Garfield! A moo cow! And a bow-bow! And a piggy-piggy! Ha-ha, you guys! This must be the famous farm humor I've heard about.

17 April 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Kind of muddy today, isn't it, Garfield? It is. It's too deep for a little feller like you. I know. you oughta get up on Jon's shoulders. I am.

18 April 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

It's cloudin' up. Yup. Looks like rain. Yup. These are men of few words. It's rainin'. Yup. And few brains.

19 April 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

scritch scritch scrith SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH BARK! BARK! Why don't you boys let yourselves out for a change? WHA?! CRASH It's time I give some serious consideration to adding a pet door.

20 April 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

The newspaper should be here about now. BONK! Sometimes you get the paper, sometimes the paper gets you.

21 April 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

My life is boring. Have you heard the old saying, "all dressed up and no place to go"? I'm naked and no place to go.

22 April 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I gotta do something to spice up my life. I know! I'll take my afternoon nap in the morning and my morning nap in the afternoon. Garfield, you mad, impetuous boy, you.

23 April 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Life is like a Ferrari, it goes too fast. But that's okay. Because you can't afford it anyway.

24 April 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I shall now meditate in order to enrich my life. There is nothing like meditation to get in touch with on'e self. Self...if you don't get out of this stupid position in about three seconds, you kneecaps are going to fall off!

25 April 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Life is like a birdbath. It's made of concrete, filled with water, and uh...birds like to splash in it. Boy, that was dumb. Life isn't anything like a bird bath. tap tap Life...is like a sock monkey...

26 April 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Behind every sunday is a monday. Jon had better wake up on time this morning. If he oversleeps he's going to regret it. I fact, I kind of hope he does oversleep. We'll have some fun. blink blink blink I'M AWAKE! I'M AWAKE! PARTYPOOPER!

27 April 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Odie, give me a push. A big push! Let's make that a MEDIUM big push.

28 April 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Get ready to go into orbit, Odie! Let me know when you get back!

29 April 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Look, Odie. No feet! Look, Odie. Only one hand! I hate showoffs.

30 April 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

The green flag drops and the race is on! Leading the pack is the great Enzio Bodoni. Enzio Bodoni makes an unscheduled pit stop.

1 May 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Gee, I love playgrounds. I remember how much fun monkey bars were when I was a kid. I guess you can't go back.

2 May 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie, I need your help. Let's play on the teeter-totter. I could just cry.

3 May 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Z Wake up, Garfield. I want you to see a sunrise. A sunrise? Me? That's unnatural. It's about time you saw a sunrise. Then take a picture! Where's your sense of adventure? If it's before breakfast, I'm not interested. IT'S ANEMOTIONAL EXPERIENCE YOU'LL

4 May 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Oops. CRASH! OH-NO! MY BEST CHINA! Look on the bright side, Jon. Your 64-piece set is now a 3,000-piece set.

5 May 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, there are cat hairs all over this place. Yes, isn't it wonderful? They are like family. Yuk! I almost swallowed this one! OH-NO! Billy? Speak to me! Are you all right?

6 May 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY FERN?! I (burp) pruned it.

7 May 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you act like you own this house. I do. What's this? A deed. This is a forgery! I'll see you in court.

8 May 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Wouldn't you know it? There's a cat hair in my lasagna. What do you have to say for yourself? Ouch!

9 May 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

CRASH! What made you do that? My sense of aesthetics.

10 May 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

OH-NO! ODIE! THANK GOODNESS IT'S YOU! THROW ME A VINE! GREAT! NOW PULL! Playing in your food again, I see. Playing heck! You oughta put warning signs around this oatmeal!

11 May 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's see what kind of day it is. ZIP! It appears to be a monday.

12 May 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I'll get you out of there, Garfield. WHIP! WHIP! WHIP! My hero.

13 May 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie! Odie! Pull the blind down, fella! WHIRRRRR! Our here.

14 May 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, I guess you guys can forget what I said yesterday. You know, about not doing enough together. OUCH! QUIT IT! OUCH! CUT THAT OUT! ROWR! RRRR!

15 May 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder how we're going to get out of here? CRASH! Isn't that the way? Just when everything looks hopeless, things work out. I love happy endings.

16 May 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Excuse me, Ma'am? Would you mind doing me a big favor? YOU BEAST! What did I say? I don't think she wanted to get involved.

17 May 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm glad you could join me. You know, boys, it's nice to spend some quality time together and really visit. Remember the time you got wrapped up in the window blind, Garfield? And then I got caught in it trying to get you free? Then,to top it off, Odie go

18 May 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Sir, would you help us out of this window blind? Sure. WHIRRRRR! The house isn't much, but we call it home. What's for dinner?

19 May 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

STOP RIGHT THERE! I KNOW WEIRDOS WHEN I SEE THEM! WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! Okay, you have me. Do with me what you will. Let's kill her. Shut up, Garfield.

20 May 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

HELP! HELP! I'M BEING ABDUCTED. Okay, you dirty rats! Come out with your hands up! NEVER! WE'LL FIGHT TO THE LAST MAN! You stay out of this!

21 May 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder how many more people are going to get trapped in this blind before this nightmare is over? Okay! Where did the lamppost come from?! I think Odie had something to do with it.

22 May 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

It's hard to believe so many people can get caught in an ordinary window blind. How are we going to get out of this thing? And how are we going to get up?

23 May 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Hold tight, folks. snip snip You're free! YAYYYY!! This is great! It's nice to have some elbowroom. You can say that again!

24 May 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

ROWR Tummies, they're never satisfied. For me, life is like a potato chip...I can't have just one. Life is like mashed potatoes...you gotta take the lumps with the good. SPLAT! Life is like a cherry phosphate...by the time you get tothe good stuff, the fi

25 May 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm bored. I think I'll take up a sport... SMACK! Tag! I'm it!

26 May 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

GOOSH! Would you like a drink of water, Odie? -

27 May 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I'd like to be able to stop each of those cars and aske the people where they're going. If they didn't have a good excuse I'd send them home. Of course, some of them may not have a home...how sad. "Car people".

28 May 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

The birds seem to be singing more this time of year. chirp chirp tweet They may be heralding a change in seasons. * tweet Then again, it could be the shower Jon installed in the birdbath. * tweet *

29 May 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, dog! I laugh at your looks! I spit on your feet! I like picking on the dog next door as long as there is a sturdy fence between us. Knotholes! I forgot about the knotholes!

30 May 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Here, Garfield,, have some shark's fin soup. Gee thanks, but, I'm not in the mood for seafood. I think I'll just have some of our chicken's foot soup.

31 May 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Viewers, do you suffer from intelligence? Good evening, this is Lance Sterling, your man on the street. Here comes someone down the street now...ma'am, which are smarter, cats or dogs? Why, cats, of course. SMACK! And what do youthink, sir? I think dogs a

1 June 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Litter box backed up? I hate mondays.

2 June 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Yip! Yip! Yip! Let me help you, Odie. PLOOP! I don't know you dogs survive. Uh...Jon?

3 June 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Are you going to eat that hamburger, Pooky? I love eating with teddy bears. They're always stuffed.

4 June 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD! DIN... ZIP! GULP! Urp...what's on TV? COME BACK HERE AND LINGER!

5 June 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

tappity tappity tappity I knew a dog who was so stupid, he chased bones and buried cars! CLONK! BOP! BAP! BONK!

6 June 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I knew a dog who was so rich, he hired someone to drool for him! HA! HA! HA! HA! I hate to laugh at my own jokes.

7 June 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Hold the diving board steady, Odie. Okay, let's give it a try! Out of the way, mutt! I'll be the first to try this swimming pool. Maybe we should check the assembly instructions again. scrittch scritch

8 June 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

You sure spend a lot of time in the sunbeam, Garfield. Haven't you heard? Cats are solar powered.

9 June 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

zzzzzzzz Hey, Garfield, when was the last time you saw my pet frog, Herbie? zzzzz SNAK! At lunch.Hello there, I'm Nermal, the world's cutest kitten. I know I know. There's something more important then being cute you know. Whatever could that be? Being bi

10 June 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

YEE-HA! That looks like fun. Let me try that. What's the problem here? It's a mystery to me.

11 June 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

A little to the right. SCRITCH Oh, yeh! That's it! SCRITCH SCRITCH Now I see why people love cats. We're pretty terrific all right.

12 June 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

What a great day! I feel like conquering the world today. Fat chance, kid. You're suffering from the idealism of youth. Has it occured to you that you may be suffering from the cynicm of old age? Okay, first we conquer the block, then theneighborhood, the

13 June 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey! Quit leaning on me. I am not leaning on you. PLOP See? The wind shifted, that's all.

14 June 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

UGH! LEFTOVERS! COME AND GET IT; GARFIELD! DINNER IS SERVERD! Got the hankering for something a cat can really dig into? The try the cat food with with real meat by-products and rare herbs and spices. Then, quench that all with atall frosty bowl of milk.

15 June 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Good heavens! I'm going to be eight years old this thursday! I hate birthdays. They're a lot like calendars. They remind you your days are numbered.

16 June 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey! There's somebody in bed with me! Oh, it's you... Good morning, belly.

17 June 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I have some bad news about your birthday cake, Garfield. It collapsed under the weight of the candles. Is that an age joke? Oh well, it would probably have set off the smoke alarm anyway. TIME-OUT! UNFAIR! AGE JOKE!

18 June 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Happy birthday, Garfield! We love you! Do you know the best part of birthdays? For a day, it's nice to have the world revolve around you!

19 June 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Happy birthday, Garfield. Here's a double-chocolate fudge marshmallow cream cake! And here's chocolate chip ice cream, sugar cookie and a cherry phosphate! Any queszions? Yeh... What's for dessert?

20 June 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

For your birthday I got you a diet book. Gee, thanks! This is perfect! Diet Cookies

21 June 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Are you the bologna or the pimento loaf? GROWL Rats, I'm hungry for something and I don't know what it is. I don't want lasagna. I don't want milk. I don't want hamburgers. A craving usually denotes a deficiancy in the system. -THAT'S IT! The mailman cont

22 June 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Will that be all? Irma, we haven't ordered yet. Here's your check. Have a nice day. Don't you care that we haven't eaten? Not as long as you leave a nice tip.

23 June 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

What do you recommend, Irma? The hamburger flambe, french fries flambe, chili soup flambe, and peach pie flambe. What's with all the flambes? The kitchen is on fire.

24 June 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

What'll you have, Jon? I'll have whatever he's having. Suit yourself.

25 June 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

How's it going, Irma? Great! Just won the fast-food service division of the waitress awards. What's the fast-food service award? BLAT! BLAT!

26 June 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Here you go, fellas. The "Saturday Special". This stuff tastes terrible! Well, to be honest, it's the "Week-Ago-Saturday Special".

27 June 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Irma, I ordered a pie a la mode. Where's the scoop ice cream? It was there a minute ago. WAH-HA! I GOT IT! I'll hav ethe pie plain, thank you.

28 June 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

You have a heart of stone, my dear. Come on, guys. We have some shopping to do. Can't you see I'm meditating right now? This lawn ornament is perfect for mom. How long have you hated your mother? I think I'll grab a little nap while Jonshops. Oh, Freeman!

29 June 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Why, hello there, little spider. Here, make yourself at home. Share my food, my bed... My library. WHUMP!

30 June 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, Odie, today we scare the mailman...look vicious! All right, let's practice slobbering on his shoes.

1 July 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Here comes the mailman. Now's my chance to shred his pant legs. YOW! Sorry, pal. I didn't notice you were wearing bermuda shorts.

2 July 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I hate it when I lose Garfield in the department store. GARFIELD! WHERE ARE YOU? Over here. House Plants By the...burp...salad bar.

3 July 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Normally I'd destroy Odie for this, but, luckily for him, I've had a change of heart. PUNT! Of course, it eill take a while for word to reach my foot.

4 July 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, Odie. How can you communicate with a dog whose brain didn't leave a forwarding address?

5 July 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Hold still, Odie. We'll get it open this time. Here's some change, Garfield. Get us some pop. CHUKONG! I wonder what would happen if I put all the money in at once. CLINK CLINK CAJUNG!

6 July 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

What a night! I dreamed the house was surrounded by a pack of vicious dogs chanting, "Send out the cat! Send out the cat!" Good morning, Garfield. Would you like to go out? I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON MY SIDE! Or would you rather stay in?

7 July 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

OH, NO! JON'! FOAMING AT THE MOUTH! QUICK! LET'S MAKE A BREAK FOR IT! Good morning, boys. TOO LATE! LET'S SPLIT UP AND HOPE HE GOES AFTER YOU!

8 July 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

That, son, is a cat. He's a fat one and ugly, as cats go. I may have to break our treaty agreement. Notice the sloping, criminal forehead.

9 July 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I can't understand it, Garfield, Why don't I have better luck with women? Excuse me, Do you have the time? Only the rest of my life, you radiant thing you! Perhaps you're a bit too eager.

10 July 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

RRRRR CLICK Playing with the hair dryer, Garfield? I'm going for the natural look.

11 July 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, if you keep eating like that, you're going to explode. POW! Okay! Who shook the soda pop?

12 July 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Never tell a hungry cat the dinner is ALMOST ready. Something smells good. What is it? I'm going to bake a lasagna, Garfield, Do you wanna help? Let me think about it for a min...sure! First we'll brown the hamburger with the tomatosauce and seasonings. I

13 July 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

THERE'S NO ESCAPING IT! IT'S GONNA GEt ME! AHCHOO!

14 July 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Sniff. I'm allergic to something around here. I wonder if it's dogs? SNIFF! Nope.

15 July 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Ah, AH AH, AHH! CHOOO!

16 July 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Sniff. SNIFF SNUCK! Yes, Garfield. I know you're not feeling well.

17 July 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I'M GONNA SNEEZE! AH-AHH AHHH! fft Thank you. Where are you going? I'm going to boil my finger now.

18 July 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

This is what's been making me sneeze! It's Jon's cologne. It's called "Ditchdigger, The Working Man's Cologne". And, as you know, I'm allergic to work.

19 July 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

All right, who brought in the fleas. scritch scritch scritch Sigh. I'm bored. There's gotta be something to do. Pets always seem to be able to entertein themselves. Maybe I could do what they do. So...played with any good yarn lately? I got it! I got it!

20 July 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

YAWN Mondays are losing their subtlety.

21 July 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Monday 21 RIP Monday 22 OH, NO! IT'S THE MONDAY THAT WOULDN'T DIE!

22 July 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Monday 23 You're right, Garfield. Every day this week is monday. I'm sure it's just a misprint. It doesn't mean anything. Then again. GONK!

23 July 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I'd better check to see if it's still monday out there. SPLUT! Yup.

24 July 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Imagine having to suffer an entire week of mondays. Well, they're not getting me! I'm spending the rest of the week in bed. You gotta get up pretty early to put one over on old Garfield.

25 July 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

It must be wonderful to be that stupid. For Odie, every day is saturday.

26 July 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

HERE, KITTY, KITTY. Uh-oh. Hello, kitty. Would you like to come to my house? Take a hike, kid. I'll fix you lots of good things to eat. I'm with you! We'll have such a splendid time! And you can play with Muffin, too. Here you go,Muffin.

27 July 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

How's your coffee this morning, Garfield? A little weak. THUD! See? It didn't even crack the plate.

28 July 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

gobble munch smack slurp Burp

29 July 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't eat this pie, Garfield. I won't. You won't forget will you? I won't forget. I never forget. I just have convenient lapses of memory.

30 July 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Sorry, boys. I just ran out of coffee. WHAT?! Wait! You're in luck. I just remembered... The last guy in here spilled his. I think I'm going to be sick.

31 July 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

This is great. What did mom used to say about sleeping in laundry baskets? Ah, yes..."My son, sleep only in the clean laundry".

1 August 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

This mirror should shame Garfield into losing some weight. Why, thank you for the charming and witty dinner companion, Jon. You can't shame a shameless cat.

2 August 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

FROM DEEP WITHIN GARFIELD'S WORST FEARS IT...*CAME*! SEE! THE MONDA yTHAT WOULDN'T DIE! Z See! The attack of the incredible Slobber Monster! See! The interminable visit of the cutest kitten on earth! ARRRGH! See! The can opener thatwouldn't work! UNNGH! t

3 August 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Are you ready for this, Garfield? TAH-DAH ARRGH! Are you all right? Next time warn me before you get ready to play golf?

4 August 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you know what these are, Garfield. Yes, I do. And do you know what they're for? Of course. I know doggie whackers when I see them.

5 August 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going golfing, Garfield. Would you be my caddy? No way! I'm nobody's slave. That's okay. I have somebody else in mind anyway. Hello, caddy. We're all doomed!

6 August 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Take my clubs, caddy! Oops. HAR! HAR! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW? This is surely breaking some pet labor law.

7 August 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Fetch the ball, caddy. ODIE! Let's talk. Here comes the gounds keeper, and, yes, I believe he's carrying a gun.

8 August 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Bring my bag, caddy. OH-NO! WHERE ARE MY CLUBS?! Back where I decided to lighten the load.

9 August 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Ready...aim. * Arch toast snatcher, Garfield the cat, prepares to ply his trade. TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK ZIP! TOING! TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TOING! CLANG!

10 August 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

SPLUT WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! What was that all about? I'm training you guys to hate mondays too.

11 August 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Maybe I should cut down on coffee. It's starting to keep me awake. I must have tossed and turned for three minutes last night.

12 August 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

SLUCK DONK! Nothing spoils lunch any quicker than a rogue meatball rampaging through your spaghetti.

13 August 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield. Come here. I'm sleeping with my socks on tonight. Hee hee Har! Har! Life is a gas when you live with a crazy man like Jon!

14 August 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

PANT PANT PANT SCRIT -

15 August 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Hmmm Ingedients: You're better off not knowing. What you don't know can't hurt you, right?

16 August 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

DONK! dink dinka DINKA DONKA DINKA DONKA DUNKA DINKA DUNKA DONKA SPLUT Hey, Odie! Come here. I have a surprise for you! Have a piece of pie, boy. DINKA DUNKA DONKA BONK!

17 August 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I suppose it's nice that Jon lets the neighborhood kids play in our yard. BONK! Then again, there's something to be said for barbed wire.

18 August 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, no! Mice have gotten into the cereal. That settles it! It's time to take action! WE GOTTA GET A CAT!

19 August 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD! THERE'S A RAT IN THE CELLAR! So? So I want you to catch him. Then what am I supposed to do? Make a citizen's arrest? You're hopeless. You know that don't you?

20 August 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

What are we going to do about the rat in the cellar? I KNOW! What are you doing? We'll poison him.

21 August 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Why do *I* have to catch the rat? They're mean, with large pointy teeth. Hold on, boy. Remember you're a cat. A fierce, carnivorous, predarory animal. THe KING OF THE JUNGLE! Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.

22 August 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Did you get the rat, Garfield? You know, Jon, people should talk more. The rat...did you catch the rat? All things can be worked out if you just use reason. What happened? I gave him territory.

23 August 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, great. I hate spiders. WHAP! Aack! cough cough wheeze daddy! speak to me! your father is dead, son. I'm a widow now. I guess I should feel like a heel. But, I don't. WHAP! Aack! Aack!

24 August 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Go get the paper, Garfield. Work! Work! Work! That's all I do around here. I wonder what would happen if I just kept right on walking? I guess I'm going to find out.

25 August 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie, it's been 10 minutes since I sent Garfield after the paper. Go find him. Why do I feel like I just sent the lamb after the lion?

26 August 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Gee, I sure miss the boys. WHAT'S THAT?! Oh yeah...that's quiet.

27 August 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD! ODIE?! WHERE ARE YOU? HA-HA, GUYS. THE JOKE'S OVER. NOE COME BACK HERE! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! Call the wagon, Reba! that's not a natural laugh!

28 August 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, here I am on my own. I feel, so...so... So out-on-my-ownish.

29 August 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

sniff sniff sniff MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH

30 August 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

BEEP BEEP BIP BOOP Hello? Lost And Found? Take this down: "Missing: My two precious pets answering to the names 'Garfield' and 'Odie'. When found, contact Jon Arbuckle, 711 Maple Street. Large reward. Repeat, LARGE reward." That 'largereward&quo

31 August 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I don't know why I should be so upset over Garfield and Odie leaving. It's not like they're family or anything. It's 10:00. Do you know where your children are? WAH!

1 September 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Gee, I'm lonely. I feel like it's just me against the world. GROWL Okay, okay...US agains the rest of the world.

2 September 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm so tired I hurt. I could sleep for a week. If I were't staring at this special for ground beef at Ed's Market.

3 September 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm homesick. I think I'll use my natural, uncanny sense of direction to find my way home. If I can find my way out of this newspaper.

4 September 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

ODIE! YOU SLY DOG! THERE YOU ARE! Odie must have a very popular ear style.

5 September 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

The milkman cometh. Now to wait for the doughnut man.

6 September 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello, doggie, are you lost? Would you like to come home with me? Hmmm And how would you like those silly ears of yours tied in a square knot? I thought so.

7 September 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Mommy! Look at the doggie I found. May I heep him? He's not rabid or anything, is he? Oh, no! He's not rabid! He's just stupid.

8 September 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Would you like to give Dollie a kiss, doggie? SLURP! How sweet! DOLLY! WHERE DID YOUR FACE GO?!

9 September 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, doggie. I love you and I hug you and I squeeze you! I could hold you forever! Good night, doggie! GASP!

10 September 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Sniff Oh, poor doggie. I'll bet you miss your home, don't you? I'll bet you'd like to go back to your owner, wouldn't you? OVER MY DEAd BODY!

11 September 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, doggie, let's pretend you're at a tea party with all your little friends. Now let's pretend... IT'S OVERRUN BY MERCENARY GUERILLAS!

12 September 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Good night, little doggie. You sure do love it here, don't you? Doggie? Mom! Call out the dogs! Another one's gone over the wall!

13 September 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

If you are here you are lost! Uh-oh! Look, fellas, a cat chew-toy. ARF! ARF! Wait a minute. He braks like a dog. PANT! PANT! PANT! And he pants like a dog. Cool it, guys! Here comes the dogcatcher! BARK! BARK! purrr scratchscratch meyow There's no justice

14 September 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

It's getting hungry out here. I hate to admit it, but I'd better find work. But, what can I do? BINGO! I Want You Join The Circus Show business, here I come!

15 September 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to join the circus! I think I'll be a trapeze artist of a lion tamer. Or a clown.

16 September 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Listen up, cat. I'm Binky The Clown. I'm the head clown around here and don't you forget it! It's a little hard to ignore. And respect...I demand respect. When I honk my nose, people snap to attention. He's full bore looney all right.

17 September 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

This is a slapstick. It makes a lod noise, but, it doesn't really hurt. Go ahead. Hit me with it as hard as you can. With pleasure! WHAP! It's all in the wrist.

18 September 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

LADIEES AND GENTLEMEN! MY ASSISTANT!... ROTUNDO THE CLOWN! "Rotundo"? ROTUNDO WILL NOW TAKE A PIE IN THE FACE! SPLUT! FROM MY ASSISTANT; DUMMY THE CLOWN! He looks vaguely familiar.

19 September 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

This life isn't for me. Are you coming with me, clown? ploop ODIE! Hey! We ran away from home to run away from the circus!

20 September 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Table for two? Boy, am I hungry. If we don't find something to eat soon, Odie, we are going to starve. LOOK! AN ANTHILL! In parts of the world where food is scarce, natives squat by the anthills... As the ants come out they pinchtheir tiny heads and put t

21 September 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

You boys look like you need a good meal. We're starved! Well come in. Eat! Eat! There you go, Odie. PET SHOP There ARE some good-hearted people in this old world.

22 September 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, gang. What is this? Some kind of party? No, it's some kind of pet shop. CLANG! You were lured in here with food. Now you're trapped. There's nothing to do here but eat and sleep. Sounds like a little slice of heaven to me. you have avery brave friend

23 September 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

This pet shop life isn't so bad. It's kind of like camp. Oh, it has drawbacks, believe me. Name one. You bunk with the lizard. I'm getting the drift.

24 September 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I tell you, friend, living in a pet shop is dehumanizing. There's no privacy. The overcrowded conditions are deplorable. Amen. Here's the ship ment of mice, Mrs. Ernsberger. Where do you want them? PUT 'EM IN HERE! WE'LL TAKE'M! WE CANMAKE ROOM!

25 September 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD! ODIE! JON! The cat and dog are $25 for the pair. I'll give you 20. You're going to regret that one, Jon.

26 September 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

What a surprise to find you guys in a pet shop! I would have never thought to look there. Then what were you?... Forget it I'd rather not know.

27 September 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Home's where you can scratch where it itches. HOME! It's great to be home! Home is truly where the heart is! I even love the little imperfections that give it personality... This little squeaky place in the floor. SQUIK SQUIK Thedripping faucets, the peel

28 September 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Whew! Boy is my breath bad this morning. It must have been that sandwich I ate before bed last night. Or possibly that block of goat cheese.

29 September 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I gotta find something for this bad breath. Aha! Your breath smells funny. Yours would too if you gargled with after-shave.

30 September 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

There's all kind of neat stuff in here. Deodorant. I know what this is for. sssssss

1 October 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

BZZZZ CLICK PLaying with my electric razor, Garfield? Never mind.

2 October 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD! YOU'RE USING MY TOOTHBRUSH! Stick around. You can watch me floss. IS NOTHIG SACRED?! Where's that mouthwash?

3 October 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Rats, what happened to the maple syrup? Now I remember...the syrup bottle sprang a leak. So I poured it in Jon's hair tonic bottle.

4 October 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, Garfield? Get your face outta my place. You're going to exercise today, Garfield. NO! YOU'RE GOING TO EXERCISE, OR ELSE! IT'S A FREE COUNTRY! I'M FREE TO Be OUT OF SHAPE! We're going jogging! NO! We're playing tennis! NO! BONK! -We're doing push-ups!

5 October 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

THUD This has possibilities.

6 October 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Drive-thru restaurants are so convenient.

7 October 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

-

8 October 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

BLAM! -

9 October 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Gimme that! I have plans for this radio controlled tank. We'll take no prisoners.

10 October 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

How cute, a toy tank. BLAM! Sorry about that. But, we had reason to believe your tuna casserole was leaking troop movement information to the enemy.

11 October 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to get Garfield to jog with me today by attacking his pride. Hey, Garfield, I was going to challenge you to a race, but I decided not to humiliate you. You're too fat and out of shape to outrun a garden slug. OH YEAH?! YOU'REON! My psychology is

12 October 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Z CRASH! DONK! WHAP! The monday paper.

13 October 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Why, hello, Garfield. Where have you been all day? purrr Under your car.

14 October 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

STOMP! PUSH POOMP!

15 October 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield! You're not going to believe this! I was in a bakery today buying a cake when three midgets in gorilla costumes raced in, se tthe place on fire and ran out with the cash register! Wow! Come on, Jon, Don't spare the details! -Chocolate or vanilla

16 October 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Today I will demonstrate "deep-knee-kricks". This is one I'm sure just about all of you can do. KRICK KRICK

17 October 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

sigh Anybody can exercise... But this kind of lethargy takes REAL discipline.

18 October 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

SLUUUCK SPLOOSH! I assume there's a reason for this. I'd like to get your assessment of the possibility of blueberry pancakes for breakfast.

19 October 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm ready this time. Come on, monday, do your worst. Garfield, we're going to see the vet today. Arrrghh!

20 October 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Tell me something, doc. Why is it every time I bring a hoseplant home, Garfield eats it? Given the shape he's in, it's one of the few things in his diet that can't outrun him. She's a funny lady.

21 October 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Give me one good reason why you won't go out with me, doc. You're obnoxious, pushy, wishy-washy, slow-witted and boring. Oh yeah? Well give me a second reason.

22 October 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Just what would I have to do to get you to go out with me, doc? Stand on your head and scream like a chicken, for starters. BUCK-BUCK-BUC-KAW! Dignity is not in this man's vocabulary.

23 October 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Look, Jon. My boyfriend wouldn't like it if he knew you were trying to ask me out. Oh, yeah? What's his name. Nick "The Mangler" Scarlotti. Oooo! I'm impressed! I AM impressed.

24 October 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

How old is your cat, Mr. Arbuckle? He's eight. Really? He doesn't look that old. He shouldn't. He's only been awake for about two of those years. Is it any wonder I hate him?

25 October 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh oh! Jon has that "we're going to the vet" look. I'm glad I don't have to get a dog shot. I only have to get a little kitty shot, but you have to get a dog shot. The dog shot needles are this long and real thick. NEXT! Okay, let'sdo the dog sh

26 October 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh. I don't think I could bear to see Odie pushed off the table today. Therefore... push

27 October 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

And now a word from our sponsor. We guarantee in writing that, if you buy our products, we will make mor emoney than you do. Refreshingly direct.

28 October 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's see...we have everything for the beach except a beach ball. HEY, GARFIELD! BRING SOMETHING WE CAN KICK AROUND IN THE SURF! Without even looking around, I know I should have rephrased that.

29 October 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Make yourself useful, Garfield. Here's an air mattress and an instruction sheet. Unroll and lay flat. I can handle that. -

30 October 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Remember, Garfield, there is no greater failing than apathy. So what?

31 October 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you're a pearl. Why, thank you, Jon. And do you know how pearls are formed in oysters? Howzat? THROUGH CONSTANT IRRITATION! Jon must not be happy with me.

1 November 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

No fern is too tough for the Caped Avenger (urp!) Steady, boy. Steady. Okay, Odie. Let's ee if you're worthy of being the Caped Avenger's high performance mode of transportation! FASTER! FASTER! ZIP! STOP! Seat belt...the CapedAvenger needs a seat belt.

2 November 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

GO! GO! GO! Garfield, that monster shark just ate Tokyo. Why are you cheering for it? Anything that eats everything can't be all bad.

3 November 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

And what are YOU supposed to be? Anothe rhapless bather falls prey to the tiger shark.

4 November 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

The cunning tiger shark, the world's most efficient eating machine with the world's most vocarious appetite, spies a helpless feast! FEEDINF FRENZY! ptoo! Yuck! Anchovies!

5 November 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I suppose you think you look like a shark. You got it, buster. Well you don't look anything like a shark! Oh, yeah? Well just wait until my fin comes back from the cleaners!

6 November 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

CHOMP MUNCH GULP Just when you thought it was safe to have breakfast...

7 November 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

As the shark approaches his prey, he senses something amiss. Oh, yeah, water! Sharks need water! -

8 November 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Happy people must know something we don't. What's this? Why, thank you, Garfield. DOG FOOD! QUICK! GIMME SOMETHING TO DRINK! HOT SAUCE! I'M BURNING UP! GLUG GLUG GLUG GOLDFISH WATER! ANTIDOTE! ANTIDOTE! AARRGH! ANCHOVIES!! Thiscould go on for days.

9 November 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Self-indulgence. There's a message in those great words. If you don't indulge yourself...nobody will.

10 November 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

POOMP! Business lunch.

11 November 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield, do you know what time it is? Lunch time? It's time for fun with static electricity! The man is a laugh riot.

12 November 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Bus Stop Here it comes. It's slowing down! Jon, you're so insecure. Look at that, Garfield! A whole bus stopped just for me! You're a heavyweight, all right.

13 November 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! I'LL GET YOUR BREAKFAST! sob sob Cracked like an egg.

14 November 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, why can't you catch mice like other cats? Sorry. I always like to give him a second to retract his stupid statements before I hurt him.

15 November 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

AROOOO! AROOOO AROOOOoooooo Odie needs something to occupy his time. This television should shut him up. AROO AROOO* -

16 November 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, Garfield. Z I hate monday morning pep talks. Z

17 November 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

AHA! GOTCHA! It's time for your flea spray. Now don't give me any trouble. Just sit there. PSSSSSSs That's my boy.

18 November 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, mouse! I know you're behind that box! Come out with your hands up! -

19 November 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! scratch scratch scratch Your chair has an itch.

20 November 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Z This looks like a nice place... Z for a nap. Z

21 November 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Look, Garfield. I got you a water bed! Water beds are all the rage, right? You always wanted a water bed, right? Right. But a hot water bottle in a box?

22 November 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie, come here, boy. I have a wet surprise for you. KNOCK KNOCK OH, NO! WET PETS! MY CHAIR! GET OFF! GET OFF! GET OFF! ARRRRGH! Sob. There's a proud man, Odie. He won't let us see him cry.

23 November 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

You think too much about food, Garfield. You need a distraction. Try reading a book. Novel idea. COOK BOOK

24 November 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I have a special surprise for you today, Garfield! Generic cat food. Then feed it to a generic cat! toing SPLAT!

25 November 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

You know, Garfield, you should really be thankful for the food you eat. I am, Jon. I am. I'm also thankful for the food you eat.

26 November 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Isn't life great, Garfield? We should count our blessings. ZIP! Whew! They're all there!

27 November 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, did you eat my jelly fille ddoughnut? It was like this, Jon. It happened to be a rogue doughnut wounded in a jungle bakery. Crazed with fear and pain, it charged my mouth and I was forced to eat it in self-defense. It's timeslike this I wish I u

28 November 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I'M HOME! Hi, Garfield. You're so nice to come home to!

29 November 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

NUTS! STUCK AGAIN! HEY, GARFIELD, DINNER! SCREEE GULP Garfield, you can't still be hungry. You have to lose weight. No mor efood until breakfast. Do you really want that, Jon? Do you know what happens to skinny people? THEYBECOME MIMES, JON. IS THAT WHAT

30 November 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I think I'll take a short nap. Hee hee hee. Whoever heard of a tall nap?

1 December 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

If the early bird gets the worm, then the early cat should get the bird. So I'll just step outside and get an... EARLY DOG!

2 December 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

YAWN smack smack smack I wish Jon would warn me before he turns the firnace on.

3 December 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Some people lose weight. I just give it a temporary leave of absence.

4 December 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie isn't exactly the brightest dog around. His I-Q is so low, you can't test it. You have to dig for it.

5 December 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

MEOW! meow meow meow meow meow Echo.

6 December 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

YIP! YIP! YIP! BONK! FFFFT thock! -

7 December 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield, I've decided to throw a party. I'll invite all of my friends. I'd better start making plans. ...and friends.

8 December 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello, Liz? This is Jon Arbuckle. I'm throwing a little party this weekend and I...excuse me? Do you mean that literally or figuratively? Literally has my vote.

9 December 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, Garfield, what do you think of my party outfit? I like it. It makes a statement. And that statement is, "I'm a nerd".

10 December 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

You're going to look great for the party. Hey, Garfield, what do you think of Odie's costume? It's just screaming for accessories.

11 December 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

It's 9:30 and nobody's shown up for my party. What do we do now? Okay, food, my tongue's leaving town in 15 minutes. Be on it!

12 December 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

I can't understand why no one came to my perty. Surely they got the invitations. I told Odie to take them to the mailbox 3 days ago. But did you tell him to put tehm IN the mailbox?

13 December 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, don't eat this food. It's for my party. Okay, Odie. Take these party invitations and put them in the mailbox. Come on, Garfield. The social event of the season has arrived. DING DONG I was expecting the upper crust. Andyou got the crumbs.

14 December 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, Pooky. Teddy bears are great to sleep with. No morning breath.

15 December 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

SQUEEZE -

16 December 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

HA, HA, HA! YOU SQUEEZED POOKY TOO HARD HUH? THAT's HYSTERICAL! SQUEEZE -

17 December 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

SQUEEZE ARRRGH!

18 December 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Good news, Garfield. I completely restuffed Pooky for you. -

19 December 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

You know, with Pooky overstuffed like that, you two make a good match. Like father, like son, eh? -

20 December 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Sign here, mister. Hey, Garfield. I got an aluminium tree this year. No more mess. No more tradition. And for splash and dash, it turns in an electric stand! Is nothing sacred? If it's splash and dash Jon wants, this blender would makea keen tree stand. R

21 December 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Get out of my way, Odie. I'm trying to wrap presents. -

22 December 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Good evening, folks. I'd like to start by signing a few Christmas carols! SPLUT! BLAT! SPLAT! Critics don't even take the holidays off.

23 December 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, the gifts are under the tree and the food is prepared. There's only one more order of business... I just want to tell you guys how much I love you. Jon is like Christmas. I only appreciate him once a year.

24 December 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

WAKE UP, BOYS! IT'S CHRISTMAS MORNING! Let's see if Santa brought gifts for all the good little children. I guess not. Here's one for Garfield. What the heck, it's Christmas. I'll let him live.

25 December 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

The day after Christmas I always get drepressed. Do you know what I mean, Garfield? Yes, I do. If I were you I'd be depressed every day.

26 December 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

What a dippy sweater. It's not the gift, but thought that counts. Okay, okay, I THINK it's a dippy sweater.

27 December 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

EEK! Here he is! Z Excuse us, Mr. Cat. We desire cheese. We can't sleep without our cheese. And if we can't sleep, you won't sleep. All right! All right! Here, if there's nothing else, I'd like to get some sleep. You wouldn'thappen to have tiny little for

28 December 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

CAT HAIRS! They're a face of life. THERE ARE CAT HAIRS ALL OVER THE PLACE! So, what are you going to do about it? I'll be packing my bags and leaving now.

29 December 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

Wherever I stop, we're stuck with it. Right, Garfield? Right. The things Jon will do for excitement... click click click click Television roulette.

30 December 1986
 
 
   
Garfield

You guys will never guess what I found at the store. PHONY THE TEETH! HAR! HAR! HAR! HAR! Let's bite him in the neck.

31 December 1986
 




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