- Mornin', Garfield. - Hello, little buddy, would you like a drink of wa-wa? Ha! Ha! I thought so! - Jon talks to his fern more than he talks to me. - EEEEK! - Garfield, would you by any chance know what happened to my plant? - Burp, if you
I feel great today! I feel like curing a major disease, writing a best-selling book and stopping poverty! - LOOK OUT, WORLD! HERE COMES GARFIELD! Is there anything yu need, Garfield? - Yes...I need you to stop me.
The mailman makes a great scratching post. - We'll be right back after this announcement. - - Oooo! A warm spot. - It's no sunbeam, but it will do. - - ROWRR! - The first rule of owning a cat: "Look before you sit".
GARFIELD'S Believe it, or DON'T! - There is enough static electricity in 20 cats to start a car. - But, it still won't start on a cold morning! Come on, guys. I'm late for work! Take a hike, jack. z z z z Believe it, or DON'T!
GARFIELD'S Believe it, or DON'T! - A Jon Arbuckle claims to own a cat who can eat 10 times its body weight. To verify his claim we offered the cat 270 pounds of lasagna. - The cat ate only 219 pounds of lasagna. Things went so well in the
GARFIELD'S Believe it, or DON'T! - Nick, a cat in Sweden, has eaten six mice a day for twelve years. That's over 26,000 mice! - I spite of his notoriety, poor Nick is still single. Nick, about your breath... Believe it, or DON'T!
GARFIELD'S Believe it, or DON'T! - Cats and dogs evolved from a single animal called a "cog". It became extinct when it barked up the wrong tree... BARK! BARK! BARK! - A tree named "Bubba. Believe it, or DON'T!
GARFIELD'S Believe it, or DON'T! - A cat in Lubbock, Texas gave birth to 57 kittens. - When asked how she felt after giving birth to quinseptulets, she said: I'll feel better when the start sleeping through the night. Believe it, or DON'T!
This looks like my lucky day! - Look at ol' Jon out there working his fingers to the bone planting a flower bed. - I guess I'd better get out there and give those flowers the Garfield touch. - I'll start by stomping on a few. Then I'll chew
In the news, today, cat season opens tomorrow! - Z - Snort, what's that sound? - OH NO! I LEFt THE TELEVISION ON! - On the all night movie channel! - CLICK! - CLUNK! - I feel like such an unworthy parent! Z
Do you know what I love about cats the most? It's our dignity. Even royalty could learn from the dignified style with which we conduct our lives. - Well, I see by the old clock on the floor, it's lunch time. - Time to beg for table scraps.
Cat's cradle? I doubt it. - World's LArgest Ball Of Twine - World's largest ball of twine, huh? - I wonder what this is for. - Uh-oh! - - - - Don't worry, Garfield! I'll protect you from that fierce piece of string! I hate him.
Z - I wonder how Garfield would look in my gag glasses? Z - And tie, and shorts, and tennies? Z - Good morning, Garfield. snort...Morning. - Hee hee What are you laughing at, pea-brain? - - Sometimes I wish I were awake when I'm asleep.
Well this is another fine mess you've gotten me into. - ** Oh, Garfield* Garfield's gon. The hogs ate him. - Garfield, I have a big job for us today. I'm afraid I know what you're going to to do. - I'm going to throw it out. But, it seems we
We writers have an uncanny ability to observe ouselves from an omniscient point of view. - "As the handsome cat gazed upon the folly of life about him he tossed his head back in laughter... Ha! Ha! Ha!" - And the he fell right off his chair.
Garfield, I just want to tell you how proud I am of you. Jon, there's something I have to tell you. - You've done a great job sticking with your diet this week. Listen to me, Jon. - And that takes a lot of self-discipline. I ate your bunny
- Hey, Jon. There's a spot on your shirt. Where? - Ha! Ha! - TOING! - Hey, Odie, your shoelace is untied! - Ha! Ha! TOIOIOIOIONG! - Hey, Garfield! There's a huge, hairy spider crawling up your belly! Nice try, Jon! - You gotta get up pretty
How did you rats get your names? I'm called Rip because I'm fast. Juanita was my grandmother's name. - How about you, Bob? That's the sound my head makes when it runs into a wall. - I take it Bob isn't very bright. He couldn't get through a
What do you guys want to do today? Let's spread pestilence! - Nah, let's lower somebody's property value. Or take a scenic sewer tour. - You're disgusting. It's a living. Or run up an old man's pant leg?
Hello, Garfield. Hello, Arlene. - I see you're still fat. I see you stil have that space between your teeth. - At least I can close my mouth. I can go on a diet. - You're not likely to go on a diet. You're not likely to close your mouth. -
- Whoa! This is what I call a window of opportunity! - No you don't, Odie! I saw it first! - IT'S MINE! ALL MINE! - Wait a minute, Odie. I have an idea! Why don't we COOPERATE to ge tthe pie? Then we will SHARE it! - Sometimes the old axioms
Hey, mom, pass the potatoes, please. Scalloped, whipped, fried, baked or boiled? - Mom, you always fix too much food. I know, honey, I know. Now, what would you like? - i can't decide. Just give me a piece of pie. Apple, peach, pumpkin,
scritch scritch scrith - SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH - SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH BARK! BARK! Why don't you boys let yourselves out for a change? - WHA?! - - CRASH - It's time I give some serious consideration to adding a pet door.
I shall now meditate in order to enrich my life. - There is nothing like meditation to get in touch with on'e self. - Self...if you don't get out of this stupid position in about three seconds, you kneecaps are going to fall off!
Life is like a birdbath. It's made of concrete, filled with water, and uh...birds like to splash in it. - Boy, that was dumb. Life isn't anything like a bird bath. tap tap - Life...is like a sock monkey...
Behind every sunday is a monday. - - Jon had better wake up on time this morning. - If he oversleeps he's going to regret it. - I fact, I kind of hope he does oversleep. We'll have some fun. - blink blink blink - I'M AWAKE! I'M AWAKE! PARTY
Z - Z - Wake up, Garfield. I want you to see a sunrise. A sunrise? Me? That's unnatural. - It's about time you saw a sunrise. Then take a picture! - Where's your sense of adventure? If it's before breakfast, I'm not interested. - IT'S AN
I'm glad you could join me. - You know, boys, it's nice to spend some quality time together and really visit. - Remember the time you got wrapped up in the window blind, Garfield? - And then I got caught in it trying to get you free? - Then,
ROWR Tummies, they're never satisfied. - For me, life is like a potato chip...I can't have just one. - Life is like mashed potatoes...you gotta take the lumps with the good. SPLAT! - Life is like a cherry phosphate...by the time you get to
I'd like to be able to stop each of those cars and aske the people where they're going. If they didn't have a good excuse I'd send them home. - Of course, some of them may not have a home...how sad. - "Car people".
The birds seem to be singing more this time of year. chirp chirp tweet - They may be heralding a change in seasons. * tweet - Then again, it could be the shower Jon installed in the birdbath. * tweet *
Viewers, do you suffer from intelligence? - Good evening, this is Lance Sterling, your man on the street. - Here comes someone down the street now...ma'am, which are smarter, cats or dogs? - Why, cats, of course. SMACK! - And what do you
- Hold the diving board steady, Odie. - Okay, let's give it a try! - Out of the way, mutt! I'll be the first to try this swimming pool. - - Maybe we should check the assembly instructions again. scrittch scritch
What a great day! I feel like conquering the world today. Fat chance, kid. You're suffering from the idealism of youth. - Has it occured to you that you may be suffering from the cynicm of old age? - Okay, first we conquer the block, then the
UGH! LEFTOVERS! - - COME AND GET IT; GARFIELD! - - DINNER IS SERVERD! - - Got the hankering for something a cat can really dig into? The try the cat food with with real meat by-products and rare herbs and spices. Then, quench that all with a
I have some bad news about your birthday cake, Garfield. - It collapsed under the weight of the candles. Is that an age joke? - Oh well, it would probably have set off the smoke alarm anyway. TIME-OUT! UNFAIR! AGE JOKE!
Happy birthday, Garfield. Here's a double-chocolate fudge marshmallow cream cake! - And here's chocolate chip ice cream, sugar cookie and a cherry phosphate! Any queszions? Yeh... - What's for dessert?
Are you the bologna or the pimento loaf? - GROWL - Rats, I'm hungry for something and I don't know what it is. - I don't want lasagna. I don't want milk. I don't want hamburgers. - A craving usually denotes a deficiancy in the system. -
You have a heart of stone, my dear. - Come on, guys. We have some shopping to do. Can't you see I'm meditating right now? - This lawn ornament is perfect for mom. How long have you hated your mother? - I think I'll grab a little nap while Jon
What a night! I dreamed the house was surrounded by a pack of vicious dogs chanting, "Send out the cat! Send out the cat!" - Good morning, Garfield. Would you like to go out? - I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON MY SIDE! Or would you rather stay in?
Never tell a hungry cat the dinner is ALMOST ready. - Something smells good. What is it? - I'm going to bake a lasagna, Garfield, Do you wanna help? Let me think about it for a min...sure! - First we'll brown the hamburger with the tomato
All right, who brought in the fleas. scritch scritch scritch - Sigh. - I'm bored. There's gotta be something to do. - Pets always seem to be able to entertein themselves. Maybe I could do what they do. - So...played with any good yarn lately?
HERE, KITTY, KITTY. - Uh-oh. - Hello, kitty. Would you like to come to my house? Take a hike, kid. - I'll fix you lots of good things to eat. I'm with you! - We'll have such a splendid time! - And you can play with Muffin, too. - Here you go,
FROM DEEP WITHIN GARFIELD'S WORST FEARS IT...*CAME*! - SEE! THE MONDA yTHAT WOULDN'T DIE! Z - See! The attack of the incredible Slobber Monster! - See! The interminable visit of the cutest kitten on earth! ARRRGH! - See! The can opener that
Why do *I* have to catch the rat? They're mean, with large pointy teeth. - Hold on, boy. Remember you're a cat. A fierce, carnivorous, predarory animal. - THe KING OF THE JUNGLE! Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
BEEP BEEP BIP BOOP - Hello? Lost And Found? Take this down: "Missing: My two precious pets answering to the names 'Garfield' and 'Odie'. When found, contact Jon Arbuckle, 711 Maple Street. Large reward. Repeat, LARGE reward." - That 'large
If you are here you are lost! - - Uh-oh! Look, fellas, a cat chew-toy. - ARF! ARF! Wait a minute. He braks like a dog. - PANT! PANT! PANT! And he pants like a dog. - Cool it, guys! Here comes the dogcatcher! BARK! BARK! - purrr scratch
Listen up, cat. I'm Binky The Clown. I'm the head clown around here and don't you forget it! It's a little hard to ignore. - And respect...I demand respect. - When I honk my nose, people snap to attention. He's full bore looney all right.
Table for two? - Boy, am I hungry. - If we don't find something to eat soon, Odie, we are going to starve. - LOOK! AN ANTHILL! - In parts of the world where food is scarce, natives squat by the anthills... - As the ants come out they pinch
Hi, gang. What is this? Some kind of party? No, it's some kind of pet shop. CLANG! - You were lured in here with food. Now you're trapped. There's nothing to do here but eat and sleep. - Sounds like a little slice of heaven to me. you have a
I tell you, friend, living in a pet shop is dehumanizing. There's no privacy. The overcrowded conditions are deplorable. Amen. - Here's the ship ment of mice, Mrs. Ernsberger. Where do you want them? - PUT 'EM IN HERE! WE'LL TAKE'M! WE CAN
Home's where you can scratch where it itches. - HOME! - It's great to be home! Home is truly where the heart is! - I even love the little imperfections that give it personality... - This little squeaky place in the floor. SQUIK SQUIK - The
Oh, Garfield? Get your face outta my place. - You're going to exercise today, Garfield. NO! - YOU'RE GOING TO EXERCISE, OR ELSE! IT'S A FREE COUNTRY! I'M FREE TO Be OUT OF SHAPE! - We're going jogging! NO! - We're playing tennis! NO! BONK! -
I'm going to get Garfield to jog with me today by attacking his pride. - Hey, Garfield, I was going to challenge you to a race, but I decided not to humiliate you. You're too fat and out of shape to outrun a garden slug. - OH YEAH?! YOU'RE
Garfield! You're not going to believe this! I was in a bakery today buying a cake when three midgets in gorilla costumes raced in, se tthe place on fire and ran out with the cash register! Wow! - Come on, Jon, Don't spare the details! -
Oh oh! Jon has that "we're going to the vet" look. - I'm glad I don't have to get a dog shot. - I only have to get a little kitty shot, but you have to get a dog shot. - The dog shot needles are this long and real thick. - NEXT! - Okay, let's
No fern is too tough for the Caped Avenger (urp!) - Steady, boy. Steady. - Okay, Odie. Let's ee if you're worthy of being the Caped Avenger's high performance mode of transportation! - FASTER! - FASTER! - ZIP! STOP! - Seat belt...the Caped
Odie, come here, boy. I have a wet surprise for you. - - KNOCK KNOCK - OH, NO! WET PETS! - MY CHAIR! - GET OFF! GET OFF! GET OFF! - ARRRRGH! - Sob. There's a proud man, Odie. He won't let us see him cry.
Garfield, did you eat my jelly fille ddoughnut? - It was like this, Jon. It happened to be a rogue doughnut wounded in a jungle bakery. - Crazed with fear and pain, it charged my mouth and I was forced to eat it in self-defense. It's times
NUTS! STUCK AGAIN! - HEY, GARFIELD, DINNER! - SCREEE - GULP - Garfield, you can't still be hungry. - You have to lose weight. No mor efood until breakfast. - Do you really want that, Jon? Do you know what happens to skinny people? - THEY
Garfield, don't eat this food. It's for my party. - - Okay, Odie. Take these party invitations and put them in the mailbox. - - - Come on, Garfield. The social event of the season has arrived. DING DONG - I was expecting the upper crust. And
Sign here, mister. - Hey, Garfield. I got an aluminium tree this year. No more mess. No more tradition. - And for splash and dash, it turns in an electric stand! Is nothing sacred? - If it's splash and dash Jon wants, this blender would make
Well, the gifts are under the tree and the food is prepared. There's only one more order of business... - I just want to tell you guys how much I love you. - Jon is like Christmas. I only appreciate him once a year.
EEK! - Here he is! Z - Excuse us, Mr. Cat. We desire cheese. - We can't sleep without our cheese. - And if we can't sleep, you won't sleep. - All right! All right! - Here, if there's nothing else, I'd like to get some sleep. - You wouldn't