WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! - GLOP! - The service here is slow, but at least the waiter is rude.
1 March 1986
Well this is another fine mess you've gotten me into. - ** Oh, Garfield* Garfield's gon. The hogs ate him. - Garfield, I have a big job for us today. I'm afraid I know what you're going to to do. - I'm going to throw it out. But, it seems we
2 March 1986
Where are they? - Hey, Garfield, have you seen my golf shoes? I'm wearing them. - Are you quite through?
3 March 1986
Guess where we're going, Garfield? We're going to clown college. - We're going to play golf. Let's go! - Very funny. I've never been so ashamed in my life.
4 March 1986
WHIFF! - Allow me. - HOW COULD YOU?! YOU STUPID BALL! I'LL SHOW YOU!
5 March 1986
- WHIRRR! - I think you swing too hard.
6 March 1986
putt - STOMP! - WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?! You should thank me, you almost lost your ball down that hole.
7 March 1986
I wonder why Jon always takes me golfing? - CRASH! - Sorry about your window, sir. My cat is just picking up the game. Bingo.
8 March 1986
- - - I'd better check this out. - - ARRRGH! - What happened?! YOU TURNED MY WATER COLLECION LOOSE? THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED!
9 March 1986
I think I'll write a book this week. They say everyone has a good book in them. - - I may have an entire library.
10 March 1986
In order to write a book I must go out and live life. - I think I'll run with the bulls in Pamplona! - Then I'll write a book entitled, "The Stupidest Thing I've Ever Done".
11 March 1986
We writers have an uncanny ability to observe ouselves from an omniscient point of view. - "As the handsome cat gazed upon the folly of life about him he tossed his head back in laughter... Ha! Ha! Ha!" - And the he fell right off his chair.
12 March 1986
Some people only talk about writing books. - And some people do something about it. - Yes...yes, this is how I want to be photographed for the book jacket.
13 March 1986
Go ahead and eat, Jon, I'm a writer. I'll sit here and observe you. - - I think I'll write an autobiography.
14 March 1986
I must suffer in order to write a great novel. - WHANG! - Thank you, Jon. I'll remember you in my acceptance speech for the Nobel Prize for literature.
15 March 1986
- - - - I'm home! SLAM! - CRASH! CRASH! CRASH! YIP! GARFIELD! Why is it I get blamed for everything around here?!
16 March 1986
Garfield, you prowl all night and you sleep all day. You also eat too much. - What do you have to say for yourself? - You only go around nine times in life, so grab for all the gusto you can get.
17 March 1986
Garfield, it's time to put you on another diet. ARRRGH! - DO YOU KNOW WHAT A DIET COULD DO TO ME? - I could waste away to normal!
18 March 1986
- The TV advertisers didn't waste any time. - I've been on a diet one day and they're already running more food commercials.
19 March 1986
I gotta kick something. This diet is making me grumpy. - tap - Not to mention, weak.
20 March 1986
Garfield, I just want to tell you how proud I am of you. Jon, there's something I have to tell you. - You've done a great job sticking with your diet this week. Listen to me, Jon. - And that takes a lot of self-discipline. I ate your bunny
21 March 1986
You shouldn't watch sad movies when you're on a diet, Garfield. You know how emotional you get. - This isnt a sad movie. - It's a food commercial.
22 March 1986
SLURP! SLURP! - SLURP! - Uugh! This coffee is weak! - What the? SLOSH - Odie - - - SLURP! - Much better.
23 March 1986
Why is it I always have to go on diets? - Oh, sure, I've put on pound or two... - Or three or four or five.
24 March 1986
Here's your diet salad, Garfield. - Would you like anything on it? If you don't mind. - Perhaps you could garnish it with a chocolate cake.
25 March 1986
- I think I know how Odie stays so slim. - It must take a lot of energy to be that stupid. RRRRRR
26 March 1986
You have lost three pounds. - Congratulations, Garfield! Thank, you. - Pssst, when do I get my fresh batteries? Later.
27 March 1986
Garfield, in order to successfully diet, you must change your eating habits. - - SPLUT!
28 March 1986
On which days are most diets begun? - Wrong. Monday is the second most popular day. - Most diets begun "tomorrow".
29 March 1986
- Hey, Jon. There's a spot on your shirt. Where? - Ha! Ha! - TOING! - Hey, Odie, your shoelace is untied! - Ha! Ha! TOIOIOIOIONG! - Hey, Garfield! There's a huge, hairy spider crawling up your belly! Nice try, Jon! - You gotta get up pretty
30 March 1986
- RATS! - Rats?! Where? Oh, no! Whatever shall we do? There goes the neighborhood! Wiseguy rats.
31 March 1986