WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! GLOP! The service here is slow, but at least the waiter is rude.
1 March 1986
Well this is another fine mess you've gotten me into. ** Oh, Garfield* Garfield's gon. The hogs ate him. Garfield, I have a big job for us today. I'm afraid I know what you're going to to do. I'm going to throw it out. But, it seems wejust got it! There c
2 March 1986
Where are they? Hey, Garfield, have you seen my golf shoes? I'm wearing them. Are you quite through?
3 March 1986
Guess where we're going, Garfield? We're going to clown college. We're going to play golf. Let's go! Very funny. I've never been so ashamed in my life.
4 March 1986
WHIFF! Allow me. HOW COULD YOU?! YOU STUPID BALL! I'LL SHOW YOU!
5 March 1986
WHIRRR! I think you swing too hard.
6 March 1986
putt STOMP! WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?! You should thank me, you almost lost your ball down that hole.
7 March 1986
I wonder why Jon always takes me golfing? CRASH! Sorry about your window, sir. My cat is just picking up the game. Bingo.
8 March 1986
I'd better check this out. ARRRGH! What happened?! YOU TURNED MY WATER COLLECION LOOSE? THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED!
9 March 1986
I think I'll write a book this week. They say everyone has a good book in them. I may have an entire library.
10 March 1986
In order to write a book I must go out and live life. I think I'll run with the bulls in Pamplona! Then I'll write a book entitled, "The Stupidest Thing I've Ever Done".
11 March 1986
We writers have an uncanny ability to observe ouselves from an omniscient point of view. "As the handsome cat gazed upon the folly of life about him he tossed his head back in laughter... Ha! Ha! Ha!" And the he fell right off his chair.
12 March 1986
Some people only talk about writing books. And some people do something about it. Yes...yes, this is how I want to be photographed for the book jacket.
13 March 1986
Go ahead and eat, Jon, I'm a writer. I'll sit here and observe you. I think I'll write an autobiography.
14 March 1986
I must suffer in order to write a great novel. WHANG! Thank you, Jon. I'll remember you in my acceptance speech for the Nobel Prize for literature.
15 March 1986
I'm home! SLAM! CRASH! CRASH! CRASH! YIP! GARFIELD! Why is it I get blamed for everything around here?!
16 March 1986
Garfield, you prowl all night and you sleep all day. You also eat too much. What do you have to say for yourself? You only go around nine times in life, so grab for all the gusto you can get.
17 March 1986
Garfield, it's time to put you on another diet. ARRRGH! DO YOU KNOW WHAT A DIET COULD DO TO ME? I could waste away to normal!
18 March 1986
The TV advertisers didn't waste any time. I've been on a diet one day and they're already running more food commercials.
19 March 1986
I gotta kick something. This diet is making me grumpy. tap Not to mention, weak.
20 March 1986
Garfield, I just want to tell you how proud I am of you. Jon, there's something I have to tell you. You've done a great job sticking with your diet this week. Listen to me, Jon. And that takes a lot of self-discipline. I ate your bunnyslippers.
21 March 1986
You shouldn't watch sad movies when you're on a diet, Garfield. You know how emotional you get. This isnt a sad movie. It's a food commercial.
22 March 1986
SLURP! SLURP! SLURP! Uugh! This coffee is weak! What the? SLOSH Odie SLURP! Much better.
23 March 1986
Why is it I always have to go on diets? Oh, sure, I've put on pound or two... Or three or four or five.
24 March 1986
Here's your diet salad, Garfield. Would you like anything on it? If you don't mind. Perhaps you could garnish it with a chocolate cake.
25 March 1986
I think I know how Odie stays so slim. It must take a lot of energy to be that stupid. RRRRRR
26 March 1986
You have lost three pounds. Congratulations, Garfield! Thank, you. Pssst, when do I get my fresh batteries? Later.
27 March 1986
Garfield, in order to successfully diet, you must change your eating habits. SPLUT!
28 March 1986
On which days are most diets begun? Wrong. Monday is the second most popular day. Most diets begun "tomorrow".
29 March 1986
Hey, Jon. There's a spot on your shirt. Where? Ha! Ha! TOING! Hey, Odie, your shoelace is untied! Ha! Ha! TOIOIOIOIONG! Hey, Garfield! There's a huge, hairy spider crawling up your belly! Nice try, Jon! You gotta get up prettyearly in the morning to pull
30 March 1986
RATS! Rats?! Where? Oh, no! Whatever shall we do? There goes the neighborhood! Wiseguy rats.
31 March 1986