Who are you? We, sir are rats. We're all brothers. BONK! Oh, yeah, one of us is a sister.
1 April 1986
Howdy, stranger. Rip, Juanita and Bob are our names and spreading pestilence is our game. Which one of you is Juanita? The one with "Eau de Vermin" behind her ears.
2 April 1986
How did you rats get your names? I'm called Rip because I'm fast. Juanita was my grandmother's name. How about you, Bob? That's the sound my head makes when it runs into a wall. I take it Bob isn't very bright. He couldn't get through amaze with a map.
3 April 1986
Jon will kill me if he finds out I let rats into the house. I'll lure them out with the old "Pied Piper" ploy. * Okay, fat boy. Let's take it from the top.
4 April 1986
What do you guys want to do today? Let's spread pestilence! Nah, let's lower somebody's property value. Or take a scenic sewer tour. You're disgusting. It's a living. Or run up an old man's pant leg?
5 April 1986
Hello, Garfield. Hello, Arlene. I see you're still fat. I see you stil have that space between your teeth. At least I can close my mouth. I can go on a diet. You're not likely to go on a diet. You're not likely to close your mouth. -Hey, why are we fighti
6 April 1986
I hate partly cloudy days. When it's sunny, I'm happy, when it's cloudy, I'm das. On a partly cloudy day I can use up a week's worth of moods.
7 April 1986
My, my. You're up early this morning. I didn't ge tup early. My leg cramp did!
8 April 1986
I hate it when I can't ge tmilk cartons open. Let me give you a hand. HIYAH! THOCK! Amazing things: claws.
9 April 1986
You stay out there, Garfield. I'll let you in when I'm good an ready. SCREEEEEEEE I'm ready. Good and.
10 April 1986
All tucked in for the night? Yup. MY LASAGNA! I was hoping you wouldn't notice.
11 April 1986
And now for the third tennis ball. TAH-DAH! A NEW WORLD'S RECORD. You spit those out very instant! Some people have no sense of history.
12 April 1986
Whoa! This is what I call a window of opportunity! No you don't, Odie! I saw it first! IT'S MINE! ALL MINE! Wait a minute, Odie. I have an idea! Why don't we COOPERATE to ge tthe pie? Then we will SHARE it! Sometimes the old axiomswork best. Like "t
13 April 1986
Hey, Garfield, guess what? We are going to visit dad and mom on the farm again! Jon, you must be psychic. I was just lying here thinking it was time to restock the burrs in my fur.
14 April 1986
Hey, mom, pass the potatoes, please. Scalloped, whipped, fried, baked or boiled? Mom, you always fix too much food. I know, honey, I know. Now, what would you like? i can't decide. Just give me a piece of pie. Apple, peach, pumpkin,blueberry, cherry, or b
15 April 1986
Farm life's great, isn't it, Garfield? However, I will admit it's a little slow. Nothing much to do but count the bricks in the old silo. 14,238
16 April 1986
Look, Garfield! A moo cow! And a bow-bow! And a piggy-piggy! Ha-ha, you guys! This must be the famous farm humor I've heard about.
17 April 1986
Kind of muddy today, isn't it, Garfield? It is. It's too deep for a little feller like you. I know. you oughta get up on Jon's shoulders. I am.
18 April 1986
It's cloudin' up. Yup. Looks like rain. Yup. These are men of few words. It's rainin'. Yup. And few brains.
19 April 1986
scritch scritch scrith SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH BARK! BARK! Why don't you boys let yourselves out for a change? WHA?! CRASH It's time I give some serious consideration to adding a pet door.
20 April 1986
The newspaper should be here about now. BONK! Sometimes you get the paper, sometimes the paper gets you.
21 April 1986
My life is boring. Have you heard the old saying, "all dressed up and no place to go"? I'm naked and no place to go.
22 April 1986
I gotta do something to spice up my life. I know! I'll take my afternoon nap in the morning and my morning nap in the afternoon. Garfield, you mad, impetuous boy, you.
23 April 1986
Life is like a Ferrari, it goes too fast. But that's okay. Because you can't afford it anyway.
24 April 1986
I shall now meditate in order to enrich my life. There is nothing like meditation to get in touch with on'e self. Self...if you don't get out of this stupid position in about three seconds, you kneecaps are going to fall off!
25 April 1986
Life is like a birdbath. It's made of concrete, filled with water, and uh...birds like to splash in it. Boy, that was dumb. Life isn't anything like a bird bath. tap tap Life...is like a sock monkey...
26 April 1986
Behind every sunday is a monday. Jon had better wake up on time this morning. If he oversleeps he's going to regret it. I fact, I kind of hope he does oversleep. We'll have some fun. blink blink blink I'M AWAKE! I'M AWAKE! PARTYPOOPER!
27 April 1986
Hey, Odie, give me a push. A big push! Let's make that a MEDIUM big push.
28 April 1986
Get ready to go into orbit, Odie! Let me know when you get back!
29 April 1986
Look, Odie. No feet! Look, Odie. Only one hand! I hate showoffs.
30 April 1986