Viewers, do you suffer from intelligence? - Good evening, this is Lance Sterling, your man on the street. - Here comes someone down the street now...ma'am, which are smarter, cats or dogs? - Why, cats, of course. SMACK! - And what do you
1 June 1986
- - Litter box backed up? I hate mondays.
2 June 1986
Yip! Yip! Yip! Let me help you, Odie. - PLOOP! - I don't know you dogs survive. Uh...Jon?
3 June 1986
Are you going to eat that hamburger, Pooky? - I love eating with teddy bears. - They're always stuffed.
4 June 1986
- GARFIELD! DIN... ZIP! GULP! - Urp...what's on TV? COME BACK HERE AND LINGER!
5 June 1986
tappity tappity tappity - I knew a dog who was so stupid, he chased bones and buried cars! - CLONK! BOP! BAP! BONK!
6 June 1986
I knew a dog who was so rich, he hired someone to drool for him! - HA! HA! HA! HA! - I hate to laugh at my own jokes.
7 June 1986
- Hold the diving board steady, Odie. - Okay, let's give it a try! - Out of the way, mutt! I'll be the first to try this swimming pool. - - Maybe we should check the assembly instructions again. scrittch scritch
8 June 1986
- You sure spend a lot of time in the sunbeam, Garfield. Haven't you heard? - Cats are solar powered.
9 June 1986
zzzzzzzz - Hey, Garfield, when was the last time you saw my pet frog, Herbie? zzzzz - SNAK! At lunch.
10 June 1986
YEE-HA! - That looks like fun. Let me try that. - What's the problem here? It's a mystery to me.
11 June 1986
A little to the right. SCRITCH - Oh, yeh! That's it! SCRITCH SCRITCH - Now I see why people love cats. We're pretty terrific all right.
12 June 1986
What a great day! I feel like conquering the world today. Fat chance, kid. You're suffering from the idealism of youth. - Has it occured to you that you may be suffering from the cynicm of old age? - Okay, first we conquer the block, then the
13 June 1986
Hey! Quit leaning on me. I am not leaning on you. - PLOP - See? The wind shifted, that's all.
14 June 1986
UGH! LEFTOVERS! - - COME AND GET IT; GARFIELD! - - DINNER IS SERVERD! - - Got the hankering for something a cat can really dig into? The try the cat food with with real meat by-products and rare herbs and spices. Then, quench that all with a
15 June 1986
Good heavens! I'm going to be eight years old this thursday! - I hate birthdays. They're a lot like calendars. - They remind you your days are numbered.
16 June 1986
Hey! There's somebody in bed with me! - Oh, it's you... - Good morning, belly.
17 June 1986
I have some bad news about your birthday cake, Garfield. - It collapsed under the weight of the candles. Is that an age joke? - Oh well, it would probably have set off the smoke alarm anyway. TIME-OUT! UNFAIR! AGE JOKE!
18 June 1986
Happy birthday, Garfield! We love you! - Do you know the best part of birthdays? - For a day, it's nice to have the world revolve around you!
19 June 1986
Happy birthday, Garfield. Here's a double-chocolate fudge marshmallow cream cake! - And here's chocolate chip ice cream, sugar cookie and a cherry phosphate! Any queszions? Yeh... - What's for dessert?
20 June 1986
For your birthday I got you a diet book. Gee, thanks! This is perfect! - Diet - Cookies
21 June 1986
Are you the bologna or the pimento loaf? - GROWL - Rats, I'm hungry for something and I don't know what it is. - I don't want lasagna. I don't want milk. I don't want hamburgers. - A craving usually denotes a deficiancy in the system. -
22 June 1986
Will that be all? Irma, we haven't ordered yet. - Here's your check. Have a nice day. - Don't you care that we haven't eaten? Not as long as you leave a nice tip.
23 June 1986
What do you recommend, Irma? - The hamburger flambe, french fries flambe, chili soup flambe, and peach pie flambe. - What's with all the flambes? The kitchen is on fire.
24 June 1986
What'll you have, Jon? - I'll have whatever he's having. - Suit yourself.
25 June 1986
How's it going, Irma? Great! Just won the fast-food service division of the waitress awards. - What's the fast-food service award? - BLAT! BLAT!
26 June 1986
Here you go, fellas. The "Saturday Special". - This stuff tastes terrible! - Well, to be honest, it's the "Week-Ago-Saturday Special".
27 June 1986
Irma, I ordered a pie a la mode. Where's the scoop ice cream? It was there a minute ago. - WAH-HA! - I GOT IT! I'll hav ethe pie plain, thank you.
28 June 1986
You have a heart of stone, my dear. - Come on, guys. We have some shopping to do. Can't you see I'm meditating right now? - This lawn ornament is perfect for mom. How long have you hated your mother? - I think I'll grab a little nap while Jon
29 June 1986
Why, hello there, little spider. - Here, make yourself at home. Share my food, my bed... - My library. WHUMP!
30 June 1986