Viewers, do you suffer from intelligence? Good evening, this is Lance Sterling, your man on the street. Here comes someone down the street now...ma'am, which are smarter, cats or dogs? Why, cats, of course. SMACK! And what do youthink, sir? I think dogs a
1 June 1986
Litter box backed up? I hate mondays.
2 June 1986
Yip! Yip! Yip! Let me help you, Odie. PLOOP! I don't know you dogs survive. Uh...Jon?
3 June 1986
Are you going to eat that hamburger, Pooky? I love eating with teddy bears. They're always stuffed.
4 June 1986
GARFIELD! DIN... ZIP! GULP! Urp...what's on TV? COME BACK HERE AND LINGER!
5 June 1986
tappity tappity tappity I knew a dog who was so stupid, he chased bones and buried cars! CLONK! BOP! BAP! BONK!
6 June 1986
I knew a dog who was so rich, he hired someone to drool for him! HA! HA! HA! HA! I hate to laugh at my own jokes.
7 June 1986
Hold the diving board steady, Odie. Okay, let's give it a try! Out of the way, mutt! I'll be the first to try this swimming pool. Maybe we should check the assembly instructions again. scrittch scritch
8 June 1986
You sure spend a lot of time in the sunbeam, Garfield. Haven't you heard? Cats are solar powered.
9 June 1986
zzzzzzzz Hey, Garfield, when was the last time you saw my pet frog, Herbie? zzzzz SNAK! At lunch.Hello there, I'm Nermal, the world's cutest kitten. I know I know. There's something more important then being cute you know. Whatever could that be? Being bi
10 June 1986
YEE-HA! That looks like fun. Let me try that. What's the problem here? It's a mystery to me.
11 June 1986
A little to the right. SCRITCH Oh, yeh! That's it! SCRITCH SCRITCH Now I see why people love cats. We're pretty terrific all right.
12 June 1986
What a great day! I feel like conquering the world today. Fat chance, kid. You're suffering from the idealism of youth. Has it occured to you that you may be suffering from the cynicm of old age? Okay, first we conquer the block, then theneighborhood, the
13 June 1986
Hey! Quit leaning on me. I am not leaning on you. PLOP See? The wind shifted, that's all.
14 June 1986
UGH! LEFTOVERS! COME AND GET IT; GARFIELD! DINNER IS SERVERD! Got the hankering for something a cat can really dig into? The try the cat food with with real meat by-products and rare herbs and spices. Then, quench that all with atall frosty bowl of milk.
15 June 1986
Good heavens! I'm going to be eight years old this thursday! I hate birthdays. They're a lot like calendars. They remind you your days are numbered.
16 June 1986
Hey! There's somebody in bed with me! Oh, it's you... Good morning, belly.
17 June 1986
I have some bad news about your birthday cake, Garfield. It collapsed under the weight of the candles. Is that an age joke? Oh well, it would probably have set off the smoke alarm anyway. TIME-OUT! UNFAIR! AGE JOKE!
18 June 1986
Happy birthday, Garfield! We love you! Do you know the best part of birthdays? For a day, it's nice to have the world revolve around you!
19 June 1986
Happy birthday, Garfield. Here's a double-chocolate fudge marshmallow cream cake! And here's chocolate chip ice cream, sugar cookie and a cherry phosphate! Any queszions? Yeh... What's for dessert?
20 June 1986
For your birthday I got you a diet book. Gee, thanks! This is perfect! Diet Cookies
21 June 1986
Are you the bologna or the pimento loaf? GROWL Rats, I'm hungry for something and I don't know what it is. I don't want lasagna. I don't want milk. I don't want hamburgers. A craving usually denotes a deficiancy in the system. -THAT'S IT! The mailman cont
22 June 1986
Will that be all? Irma, we haven't ordered yet. Here's your check. Have a nice day. Don't you care that we haven't eaten? Not as long as you leave a nice tip.
23 June 1986
What do you recommend, Irma? The hamburger flambe, french fries flambe, chili soup flambe, and peach pie flambe. What's with all the flambes? The kitchen is on fire.
24 June 1986
What'll you have, Jon? I'll have whatever he's having. Suit yourself.
25 June 1986
How's it going, Irma? Great! Just won the fast-food service division of the waitress awards. What's the fast-food service award? BLAT! BLAT!
26 June 1986
Here you go, fellas. The "Saturday Special". This stuff tastes terrible! Well, to be honest, it's the "Week-Ago-Saturday Special".
27 June 1986
Irma, I ordered a pie a la mode. Where's the scoop ice cream? It was there a minute ago. WAH-HA! I GOT IT! I'll hav ethe pie plain, thank you.
28 June 1986
You have a heart of stone, my dear. Come on, guys. We have some shopping to do. Can't you see I'm meditating right now? This lawn ornament is perfect for mom. How long have you hated your mother? I think I'll grab a little nap while Jonshops. Oh, Freeman!
29 June 1986
Why, hello there, little spider. Here, make yourself at home. Share my food, my bed... My library. WHUMP!
30 June 1986