garfield :: (null)

		» 1 January 1987 »
It's time to clean the fridge, Garfield. I'll call a S.W.A.T. team. Grim. I haven't seen these olives in years. And it's only halfway back.
1 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
You're a very brave cat, Garfield, and I know you want me to be proud of you. ZOOM! He can smell a visit to the vet a mile away.
2 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
POOKY! HOW DARE YOU HARM MY TEDDY BEAR! pop BAP BAP BAP BAP BAP
3 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
YAWN ALL RIGHT! SNOW! I love the first snow of the year. WHOAAA! FUMP! BLAT! SPLAT! BOP! Did you enjoy the snow, Garfield? Quite...I'm ready for summer snow.
4 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Attention, lounge lizards! This is your week in the sun. Today we begin celebrating "National Lazy Week"! What's so great about being lazy, you say? What if war were declared and nobody showed?
5 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Is National Lazy Week for you? Ask yourself this: Would you be willing to lead a parade in celebration of the lazy life? If the answer is yes...you're all wrong for Lazy Week.
6 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Never confuse being lazy with being apathetic. We lazy people are not apathetic. Apathetic people don't care about anything. Lazy people care, we just don't do anything about it.
7 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Do people call you "worthless"? Do people call you a "couch potato"? Why should we be held up to public ridicule just because we subscribe to a kinetically passive lifestyle. We should stand up for ourselves! THE NEXT TIME PEOPLE CALL
8 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Don't forget the National Lazy Week motto, lazy people. "There must be an easier way". Many great ideas have been spawned from that noble sentiment. You can bet it wasn't an exercise freak who invented power steering.
9 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
For those of you who want to stop abusing your bodies through fanatic exercise, but can't muster the willpower... You can now join "Garfield's Exercisers Anonymous". Every time you feel an uncontrollable urge to jog, I send someone overwith a mu
10 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Waterin' down the coffee again, pilgrim? Burp JON! JON! WAKE UP! I'M HAVING NIGHTMARES! Garfield, if you didn't stuff yourself right before going to bed, you wouldn't dream about big, ugly monsters. Did you hear what he called youguys? I think I'll polish
11 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Isn't this great, Garfield? We have a whole day of fishing ahead of us! Hotcha. HEY! WHERE's THE BAIT? Bait? GARFIELD! I thought it was sushi.
12 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Actually, Garfield is pretty easy to care for. Cats are so clean, always primping and washing themselves. We're out of foot powder. Almost to a fault.
13 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Ah, my dear, you're as lovely as ever, but, you look so stiff and formal in that outfit. Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? LIKE ME!
14 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
CHOMP! SPRONG!
15 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Just what is an heirloom? A heirloom is something that's been in your family for generations... That no one's had the guts to pitch out.
16 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
zzzzzzz zzzzzzz zzzzzz Just as I suspected.
17 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
* Oh, Nermalll * Kittens love to chase things. CRASH! This can be a very satisfying form of enterteinmant. BONK! Kittens also love to play catch. But, the best way to drive them wild is to hide objects from them. ROWR! cRUNCH! HISS! But, not for very long
18 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
GARFIELD! WAKE UP! I've made a decision that could alter the course of my entire life. I have decided to grow a mustache. I suppose I could blame this on monday.
19 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Notice anything different about me, Garfield? You're not drinking out of your Binky The Clown mug. I think my mustache is coming in rather nicely. That's not your cocoa? Wanna touch it? It feels really weird. Hey, buddy, I have to eatwith these hands!
20 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Look Odie! A hideous hairy monster is nesting under Jon's nose! Maybe it'sll spread and cover the rest of his face. Are you making fun of me? IT MOVED!
21 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Mustaches do strange things to people. They make some guys think they're someone they're not. Frankly, my dear, I don't give a darn. I don't feel safe here anymore.
22 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
ARRRGH! JON! WHAt HAPPENED? I'M FINE! GO AWAY! ARE YOU OKAY? TELL ME! The shaver snagged my mustache, okay?
23 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I shaved my mustache off, Garfield. Do tell. I decided it made me look like a walrus. I'm proud of you, Jon. It takes a big walrus to admit his mistakes.
24 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
How's my little buddy today? Crowded. TAP TAP TAP Garfield, what are you doing? SNAP! Charades? I love charades! Let's see...first word...you? No, you're! That's it! You're! Leg! No! Stand! You're standing in something! Fourth word!MY! You're standing in
25 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Amused, Garfield? That's "Mr. Fig Face" to you.
26 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
* *
27 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Here I am falling asleep face down in a bowl of food. This is it. I've reached the pinnacle of laziness and gluttony...how depressing. There's no place to go after you've reached the top.
28 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I eat too much because I'm depressed, and I'm depressed because I eat too much. It's a vicious circle... That took years to perfect!
29 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
BANG! BANG! Hello? Anybody home? BRINNNNNG! Next time, use the door knocker. Sorry.
30 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
STOP RIGHT THERE! Sometimes that's all a cat understands.
31 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Don't slobber on the controls, Mr. Odie! WHAT HO?! Pistachios! And they're all mine! crack BOING! SNIFF SNIFF SNIFF SNORT! SLURP! Dogs APPEAR friendly, but, I'd hate to get caught between one and his appetite. BURP
1 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
BONK! GARFIELD! SPEAK TO ME! Aunty Em? Is that you?
2 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield! That was a nasty fall you took. Are you all right` Garfield? Who's Garfield? OH, nO! HE'S LOST HIS MEMORY! I do seem to rememger being hungry.
3 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Having anmesia isn't so bad. It'll be kind of fun finding out what a great guy I am. ARRRGH! OH, NO! I'M A CAT!
4 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Maybe seeing Odie will jog your memory. What a swell looking dog. Put 'er there. YIP! YIP! YIP! I woner if I'm going to like this Garfield?
5 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Look, Garfield. It's Pooky! Your favorite possession and closest friend. Do you remember Pooky? Don't be silly. I'm a grown cat. What would I need with a teddy bear?
6 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Amnesia has wiped my slate clean. I start establishing who I am today. I am (burp) a glutton.
7 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hey, stranger. This body ain't big enough for the both of us. What a week...I fall on my head, totally lose my memory, and have no idea who this Garfield fella is. HANg ON! SOMETHING'S COMING BACK! HA! HA! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! I'mterribly sorry about that. Y
8 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Amnesia is weird. This Garfield is like a total stranger to me. I know nothing about him. Aside from what the creep did to my body.
9 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
This should jog your memory, Garfield... LASAGNA! No thank you. You wouldn't have a plump, juicy mouse, wouldn't you? ARRRGH! I'd never get this stuff out of my whiskers.
10 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
You just HAVE to restore Garfield's memory, doc. He doesn't beat up on Odie, he doesn't claw the furniture, he's not lazy and obnoxious... Are you sure you want me to do this? Come to think of it...
11 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Let's test his reflexes. DONK! DOING! Normal. For Garfield.
12 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Perhaps Garfield's amnesia could be cured by lightly traumatizing his cranium. KNOCK MY CAT ON THE HEAD?! WHO WOULD EVER DO SUCH A THING?!! May I be of assistance? You stay out of this.
13 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Go ahead. A little tap on the head may bring your cat's memory back. DONK! GONK! HEY! I CAN REMEMBER! IT'S ME! GARFIELD THE CAT! Garfield? Who's Garfield?
14 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
dig dig dig dig ? dig dig dig ?!! DIG DIG DIG pat pat pat
15 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
RIIINNNGG Z SMASH! I hate alarm clocks.
16 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I hate spiders! STOMP! I hate hating spiders.
17 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I hate wax doughnuts.
18 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
FWANG! I hate folding chairs.
19 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
SWOOSH BLAT! I hate windy days.
20 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Z CRACK I hate leg cramps.
21 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
This kind of tired calls for coffee straight up. It's one of those mornings. The kind of morning where you've been up for two minutes and it feels like two days. If I can just make it to my coffee, I'll be all right. It's in sight!Come on, Garfield! You c
22 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
GOINK GOINK GOINK
23 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH PTOOEY
24 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Aw, poor doughnut, you look lonely. You need a friend. I have a lasagna I'd like you to meet.
25 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Can I have half of that doughnut, Garfield? NO! GOOMP! -
26 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
GARFIELD! That's my last jelly filled doughnut! CLAP SQUIP!
27 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
What filing might you be? Jelly? Cream? You won't, perchance, know anything about spinach-filled doughnuts, would you?
28 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
GRRROOWLL rrrr Doughnuts! MUNCH MUNCH CHOMP SMACK More! I must have more! MORE! MOMMY! POW Garfield? Stop me! Stop me before I snack again!
1 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
WOOF! Back off, you dumb mutt, or I'll scratch your... ankles off.
2 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
ARRRGH! It was only a dream! It was only a dream! It was only a dream!
3 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield, I just don't know what I see in you. It is a bit overwhelming, isn't it? You're rude, obnoxious, fat, selfish, egotistical, and totally devoid of any charm. I AM NOT EGOTISTICAL
4 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Arlene, I think it's time we get serious. You do? Yes, serious about getting that gap between your teeth fixed. The truth hurts.
5 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
YAWN ARRRRGH! -
6 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I love it when Jon loves a cake. 'cause I get to lick the icing out of the bowl. GARFIELD!! Of course, he'd prefer I wait till AFTER he's iced the cake.
7 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
* FFT! BANG! UGH! Rats! The washer's broken! Com on, Garfield, we have to go to the laundromat. NO, JON! PLEASE ANYWHERE BUT THERE. You know what that place is like! Especially on weekends. I'll get him for this.
8 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield, you need more vegetables in your system. What are you going to do? Drive a carrot through my heart? Here, have some spinach. OH-NO! GASP! CHOKE! COUGH! Stop being melodramatic, Garfield.
9 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Eat your spinach, Garfield. It's good for you. Well, now that's more like it!
10 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Have some spinach, Garfield. Sure, and let's garnish it with a big box of raisins. ZIP! I HATE THEM TOO!
11 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Spinach. It tastes bad. It looks bad. SPLUT! It even sounds bad.
12 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Yuck! Spinach! Garfield! You ate all your spinach! Not really. It's in the saltshaker.
13 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I hate spinach. It's green, it's slimy. And it looks like it's moving.
14 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
SMACK! You used all the hot water again. La la laaah * SLAM! Isn't that disgusting? Just look at that, Reba! I'm looking! I'm looking!
15 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
RRINNGG! Hello? Iuh, I think you have the wrong number. But...would you care to make it the right number, songbird? This is a lonely man here.
16 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
So what's your name, sweet thing? I can't believe Jon! How about a date? Trying to get a date with a wring number. Tomorrow at seven? Great! A DESPARATE wrong number.
17 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield, I'd like you to meet my date. MOMMA MIA! What's with your cat? He's, uh, terrified of daisies.
18 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Now, be nice to my date. She might be sensitive about her weight. How'd she get in here? Through the garage door? Her name is Bertha. Figures. She's a lovely person. You can't judge a book by it's cover, you know. And you can't judge aship by its hull.
19 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Bertha, I'd like you to meet Garfield. He could use some meat on his bones. Affectionate sort, isn't he? He's a sucker for sweet talk.
20 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Think, Jon, think. There's gotta be SOMETHING nice to say to your date. My, your teeth are round. I eat a lot. You don't say! No! Really!
21 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Yes, sir. Table for five. Z There it is! Just like I told you! Z Hey, cat! What is the meaning of this trap? Wha...? You realize this is a direct violation of our treaty agreement. Aw, gimme a break. You know this means war! Look,nobody says you have to s
22 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Now don't make a bad impression on my date. Don't worry, Jon. I'll leave that up to you. Ready for dinner, Bertha? Is the sky blue? Do cats hate dogs?
23 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I think you're going to like this restaurant, Bertha. As long as they serve food. A woman after my own heart. Would you like a table or a booth? A table, please. And the lady will have a booth. What do you have to do to get any serivearound here? You have
24 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
And how would madame like her steak? Just run the steer by the table and I'll grab off a hunk! HAW! HAW! HAW! HAW! HAW! HAW! Et tu, Garfield?
25 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Boy, I couldn't eat another bite. Would you like my... SHOOP! rrrr rrrr I guess we don't need a doggie bag.
26 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
How was your meal, Bertha? GREAT! THANKS! SLAP! SPLUT! Just be thankful she didn't hate it.
27 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
It was nice meeting you, Bertha. I hope you had a good time. OH, I had a wonderful time! mmmph! How was your date? I think I made an impression on her.
28 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
HA! HA! HA! HEE! HA! Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, naaaah * * We're going for a walk, and you have to wear a dog coat. * * We're gonna walk by some dogs, and they're gonna call you a nerd. * * Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, naaaah * Come on,Garfield, let's get ready
29 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield, meet the newest member of our family, Sweety Bird. I just know you two are going to get along famously, right, Garfield? Right, sure. Uh, would you happen to have a light for my cutting torch?
30 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hello, I'm Sweety Bird. I sing sweet happy songs to brighten your morning. BRIGHTEN MY MORNING?! DO YOU WANT TO BRIGHTEN MY MORNING?! Then you can march out of that cage and crawl between two slices of bread. JON!
31 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield, do you like sweety bird? He's right up there with dogs and mondays. You wouldn't intend him any harm, would you? I don't know what you're talking about. Then why is he covered with clam sauce? An old family recipe.
1 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
SQWAWK! HONK! Did we remember how to open the bird cage? Not only that, we forgot birds could fly.
2 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hey, bird! You think you're safe out there, huh? Well, I have a little treat for you! Have you, perchance, ever heard a cat scream?
3 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hey, Garfield! What are you doing out there? And look! Sweety bird's on your head! WHERE'S MY CAMERA? I loathe life.
4 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
You know, Garfield, sharing is one of life's greates pleasures. GULP! I love giving people pleasure.
5 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hurry, Garfield, the TV workout show is about to start! You promised you''d try it. So let's go. Okay, but first answer me this... Just how the heck am I supposed to move?
6 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
GARFIELD! YOU SHREDDED MY RUNNING SHOES! Someday you'll thank me for that, Jon. Jogging's the disease. I'm the cure.
7 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Okay, stand up straight and put your hands on your hips. Those of you too fat to find your hips, just give it your best guess. I hate sarcastic fitness instructors.
8 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Now for jumping jacks on the two count. ONE! CRASH! Oh, by the way, before we get to two, don't try this exercise on a recently polished floor. NOW he tells me.
9 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
That's good, everybody. Push up! ...and down! ...and up!... I was built for push-ups.
10 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
No, seriously, Linda, I'm a fun guy. I do great impressions! You do impressions too? Let's hear one. Listen to this, Garfield, She sounds like a dial tone! This man has no brain.
11 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
The lone gourmet strikes again. TAP! TAP! YAWN You go out and play, Pooky. ZIP! WHAT tHE...? HEY, WAIT A MINUTE! I'M NAILED TO MY BED! WHA?!! I suppose this was for putting the lizard in your shoe? Now we're even.
12 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
You're a slob, Garfield, Why can't you stay as clean as other cats? You're supposed to wash yourself like this. Oh, very well. Start with this arm and make it snappy. You have a lot of territory to cover.
13 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
See anything you like?
14 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Do you know what I hate most about this bed? UNNNGH! Trying to sleep on my back.
15 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
It's time to get up. CREAK! CRACK! It's also time to go on and diet.
16 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
OH, NO! YOU CHEWED UP MY NEWSPAPER AGAIN! Hey! This isn't the paper I get. It must belong to a neighbor. KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! A 250 lb. neighbor, to be precise.
17 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Thin ice > SPLOOSH! Hexy! THIS ice isn't thin! Neither are you.
18 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I hate 3-D movies. Here, Odie! Here, boy! I'll throw the bone and you fetch it, okay, boy? Arf! There it goes! Odie just fell for the oldest trick in the book. ZIP! WHUMP Now what kind of dog would have a bone that big? Oh, THATkind of dog.
19 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
This is a perfect day to stay in bed and contemplate life's truths. Yip! Yip! BRINNNG! GET UP, GARFIELD! Truths like: "mondays stink".
20 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Life has many good things to offer: music, art, literature... Sometimes I think about educating myself on those subjects... But then I tihnk, "stick with what you know".
21 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
How did you get to be so lazy, Garfield? Brains, hard work, tenacity and dedication. You're not just born lazy, you know. It's an acquired skill... I'm sorry I asked. ...an art form if you will, not unlike poetry, dance or music.
22 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Here comes the mailman, Garfield. I want you to be on your best behavior. ROWRR! I must admit, that was one of my better behaviors.
23 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I ate too much. I'll probably get another sermon from Jon. Garfield, you eat too much. I was hoping you wouldn't notice.
24 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
screeee And just what are you doing? SWIPE! Your turn. YOU GOTTA JUSTIFY EVERYTHING, DON'T YOU?!
25 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Where did you find the brain, Nermal...at a garage sale?! Rats...bees. Buzz off, bees. This is my territory. Z?! The old "big bee" routine works every time. ZZZZZ ZZZZZZ
26 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
It was high noon when the stranger rode into town. Now comes my favorite part... He hitched up his horse and ambled into the saloon.
27 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I am hungry. Therefore I am. Rationalizing another bout with gluttony, Garfield. I don't discuss philosophy with pea brains.
28 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Now I lay me down to sleep... Hold that thought... I think I heard Garfield open the refrigerator door.
29 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
JON! JON! WAKE UP! IT'S HORRIBLE! IT'S AWFUL! YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHING! WHA tIS IT, GARFIELD?! IS THE HOUSE ON FIRE?! IS THERE A BURGLAR?! WORSE!!! I have hunger pangs!
30 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I love this feeling of power. Now I want to watch a cooking show! click
1 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Ah, I see Jon placed a pie on his windowsill to tempt me. Well, let it be known I'm capable of resisting all temptations! I just don't choose to.
2 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Ouch! Where did the mailman get chain mail socks? All right! It's here! Look, Garfield! It's the world's largest balloon! We'll see about that. Uh...that's pretty big, Garfield, You ain't seen nothing yet. fuh! fuh! fuh! Garfield?!fuh! fuh! fuh! fuh! fuh!
3 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Aha! So Jon's trying to sneak off on vacation without me, huh? He'll have quite a surprise in store for him. Who says nothing good ever happens on a monday?
4 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Laziness and procrastination go hand in hand. See this hair? It's cat hair I never got around to shedding last year.
5 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Huh, the stereo's all the way up, and there's no sound. I'd better tell Jon.
6 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
You know, Garfield, they say inside every fat person there's a thin person trying to get out. I know what you mean. Mine escaped about nine years ago and I haven't seen him since.
7 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hey, Garfield, the gang and I wanted to give you a gift of appreciation. How sweet! Why the show of affection? We just like having you around. Besides, if you left, Jon might get a REAL cat!
8 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
How about a nice quiet breakfast for two, Garfield? Great idea! SLAM! click Sometimes Jon can be so thoughtful
9 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Come on, Odie. There's no reason to be afraid of the dark. Just look at this! Someone has left the cellar door open! Jon has told me a hundred times to keep it closed. Or somebody might get hurt. SLAM! thump thump thump thump thumpthump BONK! Sorry about
10 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I'm hungry! Patience, Garfield. It's time you learn a little patience. Patience is waiting for the pizza to thaw.
11 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Look at that stomach, Garfield. That's disgusting! I'm putting you on a diet. Rat fink.
12 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hello, diet. Goodbye, food. ERRRK! Hello, sugar withdrawal.
13 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Okay, Odie, I heard you dogs are supposed to be good at tracking things. Maybe you can help me... Here's a picture of a lasagna. Now get it, Odie! Get it! Grrrrrr!
14 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I've only been on this diet for two days and I feel thinner already. It must be a delayed reflection.
15 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Fat's a funny thing. You never lose it from the right places. Fat has a sick sense of humor.
16 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Stop being so melodramatic, Garfield, You've only been on your diet for ten minutes. Z Mmm, food! I love food. GARFIELD! YOUR EATING IS OUT OF CONTROL! More food! More trainloads of food! Air-drop food into my mouth! More cattle!Hurry! I'm hungry! Ahhh! D
17 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Boy, I wish I had a fifty pound pan of lasagna. KRONG!!! Now wouldn't you think I'd know better than to make a wish like that on a monday.
18 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
There are many ways to make a diet more appealing. Some say it helps to dress your food up. I say it still looks like celery.
19 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I hate diets. They're morally wrong. A stomach is a terrible thing to waste.
20 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
OH, GARFIELD! You've done so well on your diet I'm giving you a treat. OH MY GOSH! I'VE FORGOTTEN HOW TO EAT!
21 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Let me put it this way...have you ever considered a career as a river barge? Your mother was a blender. That hurt.
22 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Come on, take a chance, weigh yourself! I'll be kind! Trust me! BOY! ARE YOU FAT! Not to mention gullible, too.
23 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
How about some fine cuisine en boite this evening, my dear? That's French for "food in a can". KNOCK KNOCK Good evening, Lori, my dear. Our dinner awaits. Your steak, madam. pant pant pant ODIE! GET OUT OF HERE! rrrrr GIMME THAT! -LET GO! LET GO
24 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Guess what I got at a garage sale today, Garfield? You got my attention. Tah-dah! Isn't it great? That diet must've been murder, huh, fella?
25 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I can't believe Jon actually bought that thing. What good is it it? MA! COME QUICK! THE COW'S SICK!
26 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hey, mom, guess what I got at a garage sale? I bought one of those cow skulls like you see in the old westerns. Behind you, Jon! Hang on, mom, I think I'm about to scream or something.
27 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield, did you know everything evolves from a lower life form? I didn't know that? Why, of course! It all makes sense now! Rocks evolved from dogs!
28 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
GARFIELD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! I'm unraveling your dental floss. I HATE THAT! Oh, very well, Tomorrow we'll do something you like.
29 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Here you go, Garfield! CRUNCH! It doesn't have much of a sense of humor, does it?
30 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
* -
31 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Z ZZZ-ZZF-ZZZ-ZZ Must be monday ZZZ-ZZF-ZZZ-ZZF-ZZZ-
1 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
You know, Garfield... I wouldn't say you're fat, but... Then don't.
2 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I bought you a surprise today, Garfield! It's a sweater made especially for you! Wide Load -
3 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
YAWN I think the old blanket is due for a wash.
4 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
We cats love to roam around in the dark. Our keen eyesight allows us to see perfectly in the blackest of... click I think I'll curl up and die now.
5 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Here's something a little different for dinner tonight, Garfield. I'm putting you on a high-fiber diet. -
6 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Let me guess. There's another spider in the house. ARRRRGH! GARFIELD! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO LIE NEAR THE DOOR?! I'M SICK OF TRIPPING OVER YOU! All right! All right! Why does this always happen to me? ARRRRGH! HOWMANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU
7 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Normally, I hate alarm clocks. But this one I like. It's broken.
8 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
WOOAAH! trip GARFIELD! Watch where you're going! Why don't YOU watch where I'm going?
9 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
A spider! YIPE! Whew!
10 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Oh, Jon, may I borrow your book for just a moment? WHAP! Thank you so much. Anytime.
11 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Tell me, Garfield. If nature is goverend by survival of the fittest... HOW COME YOU'RE STILL AROUND?! I stay out of drafts.
12 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Z You're pathetic, Garfield. What am I going to do with you? Well, for starters, you could occasionally wake me and remind me to swallow. Help me.
13 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
CRUNCH YAWN Z Z Z Z PUNT! Z Yawn. I had the most wonderful dream last night. WHUMP!
14 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Yawn-well let's see what kind of day today is... CRICK CRICK CRICK CRICK CRICK CRICK CRICK CRICK CRICK It's a nine cricker.
15 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I could look like this if I wanted to. But, I don't have enough hands.
16 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hey, Garfield, you're going to be nine years old this friday. Thanks for reminding me. As cats go, you're approaching the golden years. The heck with the golden years. I'm five and holding.
17 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
What's the matter, Garfield? Feeling your years now that you're turning nine? Come closer, my son. I'm having trouble hearing you. SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!
18 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GARFIELD!! That sure is a lot of candles. Oh well, I should be happy to have a birthday, I guess. fffff As opposed to the alternative.
19 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Yup. I'm nine years old all right. According to the rings under my eyes.
20 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I hate it when Odie plays by my rules. Sigh...time to wake up and go to bed. SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE YAWN It must have been something I ate.
21 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
POOMP! BLAT! SQUIRT!
22 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
YEEEOW! I'm hungry. SWIPE THAt HURT!! I'll say...I think I broke a nail.
23 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
There you go, Garfield. Eat heartly! Dry cat food and hose water. Be still, my beating taste hurts.
24 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield, we're out of cat food. How about dog food instead? Let me put it this way, it's either dog food or nothing. Arf. I'll get it.
25 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Look, Garfield, I don't care if you think it tastes awful. You'd better eat that because you're not getting anything else! SPLUT! Hmmm...he's right. It DOES taste pretty awful.
26 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Do you know how to get a finicky cat to heat his cat food? Pretend you're going to take it away from him. It works every time.
27 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
You're going on a diet, Jon! NO! NO! Z Z Z SNORT. WHA?!! GARFIELD, I'M TRYING TO SLEEP! WHAT DO YOU WANT? What every other cat in the world wants from its owner at 3:00 A.M. My teddy bear!
28 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
FLIP FLIP FLIP FLIP FLIP Just as I thought, june 29, 1987. "The World's Longest Monday".
29 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield! You fixed my funny glasses! Yup. How did you do it? I used glue. HEY! THEY'RE STUCK TO MY FACE! Gee, Jon, I guess this means I'll never be able to take you seriously again.
30 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I'd like to buy some glue solvent. Is this a holdup? No, you see, my cat glued these glasses to my face. Your cat? Sounds silly, huh? Not at all...hello, police?
1 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
FLEA SPRAY TO THE RESCUE! SSSSSSS Oops, this is my deodorant. Great, I'd hate to think I was offending them.
2 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Look Garfield, I bought you a rubber mouse. What's that for? You can chase it, toss it in the air, stalk it and pounce on it. Yes? Oh, forget it. Maybe it plays music or something.
3 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
RAOW! RAOW! RAOW! You know, I wonder what a dog would do with a cat if it ever caught one? SCREEEE Okay, mutt! You caught me! Now what are you going to do with me?! Next time I lead, all right?
4 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
No Soliciting Attack Cat On Duty Okay, Odie, now for a lesson in home plumbing. All the water lines in this house are connected. Thusly, if I turn the hot water on here, there will no longer be hot water in Jon's shower. Observer. -YEOWWW! GET OFF THAT SI
5 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
GULP MUNCH GOBBLE SMACK GLUB SLURP SNARF BURP And people say dinner conversation is a lost art.
6 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hey, gang, the cat's away! * ** That oughta make'm paranoid.
7 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I'm depressed, Garfield, Hang on. I have just the thing. This should cheer you up. And, of course, misery loves company.
8 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Pizza is friendy and bananas are funny. Peaches love to be squeezed and peas occasionally pop in. I love food with personality.
9 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hehwo, widdle puddy tat! Is'm widdle puddy tat a nicey wicey puddy tat? Excuse me while nicey wicey puddy tat takes a barfy warfy in the grassy wassy.
10 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Bye-bye, puddy tat. The next person to talk baby talk to me gets his clock cleaned. Why, hehwo widdle puddy tat!
11 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Odie washes and I dry. Sigh. PANT PANT PANT SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH PANT -
12 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Remember to look both ways before crossing the street, Odie. SCREEE The point, of course, being to see if there are any cars coming.
13 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Are you ready for the opera, Steven? click Why did you change the program? La-la-laaah. It wasn't insulting to my intelligence any more.
14 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
* ROWR! Garfield's sick this morning, he asked me to fill in for him.
15 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
LEAVE THAT FERN ALONE! DO YOU HEAR ME?! Good heavens, you really ARE listening to me. Could it be you're starting to respect me? Let's see you make that little thing that hangs down in the back of your throat dance around again!
16 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I saw this science fiction movie last night about vegetables who imitated other life-forms. I turned it off... I watch TV to escape.
17 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hey, Garfield. Wanna go running this morning? You've got to be kidding. Hard breathing can cause brain damage. pant pant pant I rest my case.
18 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
This could be any refrigerator, maybe yours. Deep within the frozen wastes it lurks. Ancient mayonnaise, fossilized cabbage, slowly mutating over untold eons, gradually achieving consciousness... Until that terrible day when it isunleashed upon an unsusp
19 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Ah, a nice sumptuous meal all alone... And Garfield nowhere in sight. And that worries me.
20 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I'm going to let you decide what to do today, Pooky... poomp Not much for talk, but, what an idea man!
21 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
You'd lose some weight if you'd exercise, Garfield. Maybe if I breathed a little deeper.
22 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I'm bored...I hate boredom. Hurry, Garfield! A quilting bee special is comoing on the television! And then some people revel in it.
23 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Cats can stop in an instant. Provided that instant isn't on a throw rug.
24 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I can understand why you watch TV to escape, Garfield, You have so mucht to escape... The 12 hour naps, the free room and board, the nonstop snacking. The srcasm, Jon. You forgot the endless sarcasm.
25 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
My zest for life must be a quart low. Ladies and gentlemen, Garfield and his trained dog will now perform for you. Do a back flip, Odie. Beg, Odie. Roll over, Odie. GARFIELD! DINNER! Burp, boy, great dinner. Now where's Odie?
26 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Let's go fishing, Garfield. Well, what do you think? I think you're right. Fish paralyzed by hysterical fits of laughter probably ARE easier to catch.
27 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Got my equipment, got my flies. Let's go fishing! Hang on, Garfield! My body is hooked to the drapes. This is going to be a long day.
28 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Poor little worms, waiting to be skewered on Jon's hook and then fed to some vicious fish. Well it's not right! YOU'RE FREE! YOU'RE FREE! Swimming must not be one of their strong suits.
29 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Remember, Garfield, the key to fishing is patience., the ability to remain motionless for hours. Garfield? Z That's my boy.
30 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Well, Garfield, what do you think of fishing so far? I like it? Where else can you take a three-hor nap and call it sport?
31 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Catch anything, boys? Yeah, but we threw 'em back. They were in danger of being eaten by the bait.
1 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hello, plants. Oh no! Shoo! Scat! Well, let's see what's on the menu today. Mrs Brown! There's a cat out here! I think I'll start with a salad. NOOO! RUN, HAROLD! RUN! GLOMP HAROOLD! WE GOT HAROLD! burp Oh, Ralph! What will we do?!Stay calm, Tammy. I'll
2 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Let's go for a walk, Garfield. It's good exercise. Even a short walk is better than no walk at all. You're right. Start with the kitchen and back.
3 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I am an artist. SCHOONK! I eat what I see.
4 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
tap tap tap Well, well, well, and just how did you get in there? Would you believe hours and hours of careful planning?
5 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Get up, Garfield, Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, you know. You're quite right, Jon. I couldn't agree with you more. Now, be a good boy and bring it back at noon.
6 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
You know, Garfield, life is like a bowl of cherries. Let down your guard, and I'll get you. You're going to pay for this one.
7 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hey, Garfield, they're developing computers with artificial intelligence. Big deal. I'll be impressed when they invent artificial cunning.
8 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
CLICK! CLICK! FLIP NNNNNG UNNNGH WHAP! SHOOP! FLOP! SNAP! WHIP! BAP! No wonder. This is the garage door opener.
9 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Ahhh! Coffee. NO! NO! DON'T DRINK IT, JON! SHOOP! ARRRGH! IT'S TOO LATE. Z THAT COFFEE WAS DECAFFEINATED, YOU FOOL!
10 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
What does one have to do to get one's belly scratched around here?
11 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
There's only one way to get rid of a free-floating guilt complex. Do something to deserve it.
12 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
We humans are lucky, Garfield. We can sing and play instruments. You cat have no way of showing your appreciation for music. Oh, but I do. I sold your piano.
13 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Have the last cookie, Garfield. I really couldn't. You take it. Okay. You twit! Don't you know insincere sincerity when you hear it?
14 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Uh-oh, it looks as though Mr. Cliche is about to unburden himself of another stale platitude. "He who fills his pockets with the rocks of misdeeds will surely sink in the river of good fortune". That boy wasn't born, he was found in afortune coo
15 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Is this seat taken? Not at all. Wow! That's a big cat! He didn't look that big from the front of the bus 'cause things look smaller from far away. You, if he had a mane he'd look like a lion, but, then they'd make him get off at thezoo, I suppose! Zoos m
16 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
-
17 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I had an uncle who used to play with yarn... He's now a pattern in an angora sweater. You're just saying that to ruin my fun, aren't you? Can you afford to take a chance?
18 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
You've got a pretty good thing going here, don't you? Yup. Jon feeds me, strokes me, changes my kitty litter and caters to my whims. So what does HE get out of it? He gets to call himself "Master".
19 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
With each new day, a cat's curiosity must be satisfied anew. KICK Yup, the law of gravity is still in effect.
20 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Dear Hair Ball Cat Food Co., I find your cat food gives my cat a "long silky coat of hair" as advertised... However, I think you should add a disclaimer. "Do not feed your cat more than 36 cans a day."
21 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
You're wasting your life away, Garfield. You should be out there...uh... Out there doing whatever it is cats do. That's what I like about being a cat. Our standards are low.
22 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Up next, "Pasta Parade," followed by "World of Waffles". I love this all-food channel. I ask you...what more to life could there possibly be? Decisions, decisions... Should I eat first and then sleep or sleep first and then eat? -Hmmm.
23 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Stupid pet door! UI thought Jon fixed it! Unnngh!
24 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Jon, remember when you thought it was a great idea to put the pet door in? And how Odir and I could come and go as we pleased? You goofed again.
25 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
About your weight, Garfield. You're getting a bit large for your pet door. Do tell.
26 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
PURRR How nice! Are you rubbing against my neck to tell me how much you love me? Or to tell me, if I don't feed you'll rip off my face? Bingo!
27 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
...and I was wondering if you'd go out with me tonight? You say you'd rather go out with camel spittle? Zap her back! Zap her back! "But what if your brother already has plans?" That's what I should have said! Ol' Lighning Wit strikesagain.
28 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
WHIRRRRRRR WHIRRRRRR WHIRRRRRR I love driving Odie up the wall.
29 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
YANK WHIRRRR WHIRRRR -
30 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
There's one thing I can count on from Garfield. Nice drapes, Arbuckle. It would be a shame if someone else slashed 'em into party streamers. Protection.
31 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I wonder how Garfield would handle an emergency? Z FIRE! I guess I shouldn't be surprised.
1 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hurry, Garfield! Get to the car! Quick! Lock the doors! Roll up the windows! They'rfe probably watching the house right now. We'll have to move out of state! He used an expired coupon.
2 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Ah, it's so nice to own a cat. Own? Nobody OWNS a cat. But you may think of me as a longterm loan.
3 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Leave that station on, Garfield. It's "Hamlet". To be or not to be. CLICK! Hey! What are you doing?! Solving an existential dilemma with modern technology.
4 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I feel like letting my better nature show through today. PUNT! My worse nature is not a pretty sight.
5 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Why is it the phone only rings when I'm in the bath? Relax, one call a week isn't that bad. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP That's right, Beverly, I will not go out with you tonight. Yes, I know you're madly in love with me, but I have betterthings to do. Now, now, B
6 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Ah-ah-AH CHOO Bless you.
7 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Let's hear it for sleep! Gimme a "Z"! Z
8 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Just look at the smile on Garfield's face. Z He must be having a great dream. Z Z Z
9 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
P-thb-thb-thb-thb! PTHB THB -
10 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Look, Odie! I can touch my nose with my tongue! Can you do that? -
11 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Sleep is wonderful. What would people be without sleep? Real tired, probably.
12 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Jon, is this one of those cult films? One, two! One, two! One, two! Hey, Garfield, I've noticed you're pretty out of shape. Nonsense, I watch 30 minutes of Aerobics a day. So I bought you these jogging shoes! I hope you kept thereceipt. See? These shoes a
13 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
-
14 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Surprise, Garfield! Won't this be fun to play in? Take it back. There's no elevator.
15 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Odie is very special. He was bred to be a working dog. Specifically, a paperweight or a doorstop.
16 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield, you've lost weight! I don't believe it! -
17 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield, you eat too much junk food. Eat something good for you. Zap...you're a carrot stick.
18 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Great chefs know it's the appearance of food that counts. GUP! But, great eaters know it's the amount of food that counts.
19 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
No, please don't do it. In the name of humanity!! WHUMP! Haw! Haw! Haw! Haw! ZIP! WHUMP! Haw! Haw! Haw! Reba! Come here and look at this, but you'd better cinch up your corset first!
20 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Are you ever seriuos, Garfield? I guess not. It's hard to be serious when you're naked!
21 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
YAWN Yawn...boredom is contagious. OH, NO! SO'S STUPIDITY.
22 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Send To: ACME Lasagna Factory Not enough postage, Garfield. Rats.
23 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Get ready to have some major youcks, you guys. SMILE MOUTHS! Hee hee! I'll keep him laughing while you get the authorities.
24 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield, what's the matter? JON! YOU GOTTA CLEAN OUT THE REFRIGERATOR! Whatever it is, it can't be that bad, old buddy. The tuna is spawning in the tomato soup!
25 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Watching the paint dry, Garfield? I hope he doesn't think that my life is so totally devoid of excitement that I am reduced to that. I'm waiting for it to peel.
26 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
A hungry vulture perches above his prey, silently, patiently, waiting for his meal to draw its last breath. CLICK CLICK STOP THAT! YOU KNOW I HATE THAT! NO MORE VULTURES! No more vultures. Z A voracious alligator stealthily glidestoward the fingers of an
27 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Nothing is showing up on the computer radar so I'll put a nice "Mr. Sunshine" right here. But, satellite photos show an approaching low-pressure area, so I'll put mean ol' "Mr. Thunderstorm" and his lighning bolt right here. LOOK OUT,
28 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Let's check the weather. Hmmm. Looks like a good day to stay in in bed. Mostly boring this morning with a 50% chance of intermittent depression this afternoon.
29 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Depression is waking up with the uneasy feeling the world is out to get you. ZOW And finding out you're right.
30 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Being depressed is bad enough. Now Jon will probably try to cheer me up with stupid platitudes. You're depressing, Garfield. And you're fat and lazy too. Then again, even stupid platitudes have their good points.
1 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Cheep up, Garfield. Just remember that life is just a game. It's not whether you win or lose, but how you play that counts. So, what are you going to do today? Forfeit.
2 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I hate those little insert cards. SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE Just as I suspected.
3 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Can we be of assistance? * That stupid dog next door is in for a BIG surprise. When he comes by, he will mistake the mirror for me. Then he will attack and fall into this pit. Then this net will fall on him. Then this cement mixerwill tip, sealing that su
4 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Do you always insult the people you weigh? Yes. It's a defense mechanism. Insults compensate for my own depressions, my insecurities, my loathing for this job and my lot in life. I'm sorry to hear that. Thanks, blubber bottom.
5 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
-
6 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Can we take a 50-mile hike today, Jon? Huh? Can we? Can we? Can we? boing boing You're drinking too much coffee, Garfield. Or a swim. What if we swim to Tahiti?
7 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
RATS! I GIVE UP! I'm just no good with plants. And these were the plastic ones.
8 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I told the woman at the flower shop I was tired of you eating my plants. She said you wouldn't harm this one. But, I doubt it.
9 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
How much do I weigh today, RX-2? You weigh somewhere between seven and thirty-two pounds. I have learned it is wise to give my customers a wide selection.
10 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Like the sandwich I made for you, Odie? Hey, Garfield! Come out here! Watch me blow this bubble. You're going to get a bang out of it. FUH-FUH-FUH-FUH BANG You're right. That was fun. HERE! YOU CHEW THE GUM THIS TIME! That's it,fella. Blow it big. fuh-fuh
11 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hmm, my horoscope says I'm going to be visited by an old acquaintance today. SPLUT Uncanny.
12 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Ha! Missed me! SPLUT! Whoaa...boomerang spluts.
13 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
SPLUT!
14 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
SPLUT CLANK! They must be running out of ammo!
15 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Gourmands know their utensils. This is the table-spoon, the teaspoon, the soupspoon, the sugar spoon. And my personal favorite... Theplay spoon! toing SPLUT!
16 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfoield, why do you always spit the cherry pits out onto the table? I like a little floor show after dinner.
17 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
One of these days, Arlene! One of these days...POW! To the moon! OH-NO! SOMEONE ATE MY DINNER! AHA! FAT MICE! You guys wouldn't know what happened to my dinner, would you? Oh, sure! Blame us. It's always the mice's fault, right men?Not even a fair trial.
18 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
YAWN Ahh...there's nothing like a good nap. With the possible exception of TWO good naps.
19 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
The coffee's strong today. SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP Not only strong, but mean!
20 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Food! How do I love thee? Let me count the ways... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... Aren't you going to eat, Garfield? 5,743, 5,744...
21 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Z GARFIELD! Fall asleep in your food again? Don't ask stupid questions. Just ge the chisel.
22 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Sigh.
23 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
In the morning, there's nothing more I enjoy than a good cup of coffee. As I was saying...
24 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
That's not what I meant by "drop anchor", little buddy. First things first, let's talk about me. You see, Renee, I'm a pretty mature, suave kinda guy. Are these yours? Heh, het. Well...uh. They have teddy bears all over them. What'sthis? A certi
25 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
This honey has lots of options like windshield wipers and a horn. You mean things like windshield wipers and a horn are options? No offense, pal, but in your price range, the TIRES are optional.
26 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
This car's a real steal at $ 1,900. It has twice the luggage space of any other car in its class. Where's the back seat? Oh, no! I'll notify the authorities.
27 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Don't go away, folks, I'll be right back. Honest Ed seems nice enough, Garfield, but there's something about him I don't trust. Maybe it's the fact his office is in a pickup truck with the engine running.
28 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Nice doin' business with you. And, remember, at Honest Ed's, we stand beside every car we sell. Don't you mean you stand "behind" every car you sell? Not with the mechanics I've got working for me! VAROOM! CRASH
29 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Cute, Garfield, Tell me the future. You are about to become upset with your cat. Hey, wait a minute! Where's my goldfish? It was (burp) here a minute ago.
30 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
grrr yip CUT IT OUT, YOU TWO! IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY OUT THERE! DOESN'T THAT GIVE YOU ANY IDEAS? ffft! bark! yip!
31 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Honestly, Garfield, I forgot that it was decaffeinated. rrrrr KNEAD KNEAD KNEAD Z Z Oh, no!! My guilt! Oh, well,,,I suppose I shouldn't yeall at him... He's just doing what comes naturally for a ca GARFIELD!
1 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Is that today's mail, Garfield? Yo. Here are your personal letters, bills and catalogs. And "Instant Millionaire" giveaways.
2 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
You're lazy, Garfield. You just don't understand, do you, Jon? In the grand scheme of things, each of us has our little niche to fill. Through with our rationalization, are we? It's my niche time.
3 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Mornin' hon. The usual? You got it, Irma. Say, hon. What IS the usual? I was hoping you'd know. These people are in desperate trouble.
4 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Try this new health food for cats, Garfield. It has extra fiber. BLUT Just as I suspected.
5 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Wake up, Garfield. I can't move. My battery is dead. Sniff...hang on! I think I smell a jump start coming my way!
6 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hey, Garfield, I looked up the word "lazy" in the dictionary and they had your picture by it. That's a lie. I slept through the appointment for the photo session.
7 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
You awake yet? The wild house cat spies his unsuspecting prey. Potato chips! Why do they make these bags so hard to open? EERRRGGHH NNGGNNFF SQUEEZE KA-BLAM! GARFIELD! WHAT HAPPENED? They oughta put warnings on those bags!
8 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Cats have just surpassed dogs as the country's favorite pets! Somehow the victory would have been more satisfying had the competition been stiffer.
9 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Sometimes I think I'm slowing down. GARFIELD! DINNER! CHOOM! But, there's still a little life left in the ol' afterburners.
10 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield, you're never going to lose weight eating between the meals. There's only one thing to do. Do you know the meaning of "willpower"? I don't know the meaning of "between meals".
11 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Look, Odie, Jon's sleeping. Z Mybe we should be quiet and let him rest. Z Or we can shave his head. Z
12 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hey, Garfield, I have a new cat food for you. Come on, give it a try. It's not that bad. I don't know, Jon. Something tells me it isn't that good.
13 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Life is filled with opportunities. shake shake shake shake PSSSSH! If you know where to look for them.
14 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Let's just say, talking during the movie is a pet peeve of mine. Z Garfield, you must be the slowest, laziest thing on the face of the earth. On the contrary. I'm not slow at everything I do. I'm the fastest eater I know. GOOSH! Ican fall asleep in an ins
15 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I've really got to stop this overeating. How about that? I didn't think I could do it.
16 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
DINNER IS... WHOMP! snerved.
17 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
What's the matter, Garfield? Don't you feel good? That's an understatement. Do you think it was something you ate? No... WHANG!! It was something YOU fed me!
18 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
It says this cat food is "fit for a king". The "king's" food taster.
19 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I, the Caped Avenger, shall seek out injustice wherever it may lurk... And with one swift motion of my mighty hand, I will go... Naughty, naughty, naughty!
20 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
What's that number on your back for, Garfield? It's mandatory attire for my new hobby. Marathon sleeping.
21 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Oops! I think I've made a tiny mistake! CRASH! Boy, am I in a rotten mood. Out of my way, brie breath! PUNT! Hey, you! You can't do that or I'll tell my sister, Loretta! Loreatta? She'll pound you flat! Bring her on. A good fightmight cheer me up. Hey, Lo
22 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
YAWN ** splash splash * You know it's monday when you wake up and find six crickets doing a water ballet in your bowl. ***
23 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
munch munch munch Don't you think you've eaten enough watermelon, Garfield? Why, no. Why do you ask? ptoo!
24 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
-
25 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
kick! I'm sorry Garfield. I didn't see you sitting... there.
26 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Z N
27 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield, why are you so vain? In my case, modesty would be unseemly in a cat of such breeding. Where did I go wrong?
28 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Odie's never around when I need a fall guy. Hmmm. Hey, Jon, look what I can do with this grape. poo! GUNK! Oh, yeah? Watch this! I'm not impressed. WATCH THIS! OH YEAH? WATCH THIS! Veterinary clinic What the... Don't ask.
29 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield, you've been drinking too much coffee lately. There's no such thing as too much coffee. I'm worried about you. Okay, okay! I'll cut down! Just give me half a cup.
30 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Now, THAT'S good coffee!
1 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Too much coffee, Garfield? yupyupyup
2 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I made my world famous coffee this morning, Garfield. Come on...it's not that bad! Have some! Oh, all right. But just a small slice.
3 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Sorry, Garfield, but we're out of coffee this morning. I noticed. I guess we'll just have to go without. That's what YOU think. What are you doing? Sucking on a used coffee filter.
4 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
MEOWYRRRRR MEOWYRR...MEOWYRRR GARFIELD! What are you doing?!! My agent couldn't get me a booking on the fence. tap tap tap
5 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I feel awful, but I don't think it could be anything that I ate. Hee, hee, hee. Hey, Garfield, remember thet time I was drinking root beer and you made that funny face. And I snorted the root beer right out my nose? And I got allthe way up into my sinuses
6 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Whoops! The ol' claw's hooked a carpet thread. UNNNGGGHHH!!! ...a LONG carpet thread.
7 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Food is a dichotomy. Fat people hate to love it. And skinny people love to hate it.
8 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Thare's nothing worse than being bored. Hey, there, Mr. Droopy face. Let me entertain you! Hotcha! Hotcha! I take that back.
9 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Cats are poetry in motion. trip SPLAT! Dogs are gibberish in neutral.
10 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Ho-boy, I ate too much again. WAH-HA-HA-HA! Oh, Garfield, you're a riot!
11 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Who's the sexiest cat you know, Arlene? Hmmm... Let's see... One thing about Arlene, she doesn't make snap judgments. Hmmm.
12 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Championship wrestlers and I have one training ritual in common, power eating. SLURP screee screee SLAM! Odie? Odie? SLURP
13 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Here's a story about a cat who travelled 200 miles to find his owner. Can you imagine YOU doing that, Garfield? HA! HA! HA! I would send a postcard.
14 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
It says here that many artists starve themselves in the service of their craft. GLUCK A starving glutton...I like that.
15 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Sigh...a cat's work is never done. What are you doing, Garfield? PLOP! A cat's work.
16 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
SLAM! In case you're wondering where I've been and what I've bought, that's none of your business. I love the Christmas season.
17 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
OUCH! pshhh Hey, this isn't shaving cream! And this isn't tree flocking.
18 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I swear, Garfield. You get more excited about Christmas than any child I know! I DO NOT!
19 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Are you sure this is all you want for Christmas, Garfield?! This is a decoration, not a snack, comprendo? * -
20 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
The one thing I hate about the Christmas season is addressing all these cards. I believe I have a way to cut your work in half. Address this one to dad AND mom.
21 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Uh -oh... AAAARRRGGHHH!!! SLURP! SLURP! SLURP!
22 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield, I know you're excited about Christmas. And I know it's only natural to be curious about what's inside your presents. BUT PUT THAT METAL DETECTOR AWAY!
23 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I'd better be careful with my gift. It might be a fine bone china food dish. Oh. This one's for Odie. CRASH!
24 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Well, boys, that was a wonderful Christmas. It's not over yet. For me?! How sweet?! A hairball? I made it myself.
25 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Christmas can't be over yet! I can't have unwrapped all my presents already!! I gotta unwrap something else!! More! More!
26 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I wonder what that is? Up and at 'em, boys! It's a bright new day! Let's plan the day, boys. Here we go again. First item of business: the Christmas tree. Let's leave it up a while longer. Translation! "Let's leave the tree there tillthe needles fall
27 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
HAAAACK! poing Boy, talk about your hairballs!...
28 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
This year I pledge to lose weight and get in shape! No, no, be realistic, Garfield, That's a bit much to bite off. Perhaps I should set a bit more realistic goal. I pledge to establish contact with aliens from another planet!
29 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Well. it's time to take stock of the year. Let's see...I ate and slept and accomplished not one single thing of socially redeeming value. I'm so proud of me.
30 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Let's see. This year I've eaten 2,190 snacks and taken 1,822 naps. Oh, no! According to my figures I missed a nap in april and two in july! Uh...Garfield? QUIET, MAN! I HAVE SOME SERIOUS CATCHING UP TO DO!
31 December 1987

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