Don't forget the National Lazy Week motto, lazy people. "There must be an easier way". - Many great ideas have been spawned from that noble sentiment. - You can bet it wasn't an exercise freak who invented power steering.
Don't slobber on the controls, Mr. Odie! - WHAT HO?! - Pistachios! And they're all mine! - crack BOING! - SNIFF SNIFF SNIFF - SNORT! - SLURP! - Dogs APPEAR friendly, but, I'd hate to get caught between one and his appetite. BURP
You just HAVE to restore Garfield's memory, doc. - He doesn't beat up on Odie, he doesn't claw the furniture, he's not lazy and obnoxious... - Are you sure you want me to do this? Come to think of it...
* - FFT! BANG! UGH! Rats! The washer's broken! - Com on, Garfield, we have to go to the laundromat. - NO, JON! PLEASE ANYWHERE BUT THERE. - You know what that place is like! Especially on weekends. - I'll get him for this.
Garfield, meet the newest member of our family, Sweety Bird. - I just know you two are going to get along famously, right, Garfield? - Right, sure. Uh, would you happen to have a light for my cutting torch?
Hello, I'm Sweety Bird. I sing sweet happy songs to brighten your morning. - BRIGHTEN MY MORNING?! DO YOU WANT TO BRIGHTEN MY MORNING?! - Then you can march out of that cage and crawl between two slices of bread. JON!
Garfield, do you like sweety bird? He's right up there with dogs and mondays. - You wouldn't intend him any harm, would you? I don't know what you're talking about. - Then why is he covered with clam sauce? An old family recipe.
The lone gourmet strikes again. - TAP! TAP! - YAWN - You go out and play, Pooky. - ZIP! WHAT tHE...? - HEY, WAIT A MINUTE! I'M NAILED TO MY BED! - WHA?!! - I suppose this was for putting the lizard in your shoe? Now we're even.
You're a slob, Garfield, Why can't you stay as clean as other cats? - You're supposed to wash yourself like this. Oh, very well. - Start with this arm and make it snappy. You have a lot of territory to cover.
How did you get to be so lazy, Garfield? - Brains, hard work, tenacity and dedication. You're not just born lazy, you know. It's an acquired skill... - I'm sorry I asked. ...an art form if you will, not unlike poetry, dance or music.
You're going on a diet, Jon! NO! NO! - Z - Z - Z - SNORT. WHA?!! - GARFIELD, I'M TRYING TO SLEEP! WHAT DO YOU WANT? - What every other cat in the world wants from its owner at 3:00 A.M. - My teddy bear!
LEAVE THAT FERN ALONE! DO YOU HEAR ME?! - Good heavens, you really ARE listening to me. Could it be you're starting to respect me? - Let's see you make that little thing that hangs down in the back of your throat dance around again!
unleashed upon an unsuspecting world. - THE COLESAW THAT TIME FORGOT! AYIEEE! - Cute, Garfield. Now finish cleaning out the refrigerator. Quiet, fool! You'll awaken the sleeping spuds from the planet fungus.
I can understand why you watch TV to escape, Garfield, You have so mucht to escape... - The 12 hour naps, the free room and board, the nonstop snacking. - The srcasm, Jon. You forgot the endless sarcasm.
My zest for life must be a quart low. - Ladies and gentlemen, Garfield and his trained dog will now perform for you. - Do a back flip, Odie. - Beg, Odie. - Roll over, Odie. - GARFIELD! DINNER! - Burp, boy, great dinner. - Now where's Odie?
You've got a pretty good thing going here, don't you? Yup. - Jon feeds me, strokes me, changes my kitty litter and caters to my whims. So what does HE get out of it? - He gets to call himself "Master".
Dear Hair Ball Cat Food Co., I find your cat food gives my cat a "long silky coat of hair" as advertised... - However, I think you should add a disclaimer. - "Do not feed your cat more than 36 cans a day."
things to do. - Now, now, Beverly, you know I hate it when you grovel and stop sobbing uncontrollably. - - At the sound of the tone the time will be 10:00 A.M. - BEEP Oh, shut up. You monster, how dare you break that computer's heart?
Being depressed is bad enough. Now Jon will probably try to cheer me up with stupid platitudes. - You're depressing, Garfield. And you're fat and lazy too. - Then again, even stupid platitudes have their good points.
Do you always insult the people you weigh? Yes. It's a defense mechanism. - Insults compensate for my own depressions, my insecurities, my loathing for this job and my lot in life. - I'm sorry to hear that. Thanks, blubber bottom.
Don't go away, folks, I'll be right back. - Honest Ed seems nice enough, Garfield, but there's something about him I don't trust. - Maybe it's the fact his office is in a pickup truck with the engine running.
Nice doin' business with you. And, remember, at Honest Ed's, we stand beside every car we sell. - Don't you mean you stand "behind" every car you sell? - Not with the mechanics I've got working for me! VAROOM! CRASH
Honestly, Garfield, I forgot that it was decaffeinated. rrrrr - - KNEAD KNEAD KNEAD - Z Z - Oh, no!! My guilt! - Oh, well,,,I suppose I shouldn't yeall at him... - He's just doing what comes naturally for a ca- - - GARFIELD!
You awake yet? - The wild house cat spies his unsuspecting prey. - Potato chips! - Why do they make these bags so hard to open? - EERRRGGHH - NNGGNNFF SQUEEZE - KA-BLAM! - GARFIELD! WHAT HAPPENED? They oughta put warnings on those bags!
Odie's never around when I need a fall guy. - Hmmm. - Hey, Jon, look what I can do with this grape. - poo! - GUNK! Oh, yeah? Watch this! - I'm not impressed. - WATCH THIS! OH YEAH? WATCH THIS! - Veterinary clinic What the... Don't ask.
This year I pledge to lose weight and get in shape! - No, no, be realistic, Garfield, That's a bit much to bite off. Perhaps I should set a bit more realistic goal. - I pledge to establish contact with aliens from another planet!
Let's see. This year I've eaten 2,190 snacks and taken 1,822 naps. - Oh, no! According to my figures I missed a nap in april and two in july! - Uh...Garfield? QUIET, MAN! I HAVE SOME SERIOUS CATCHING UP TO DO!