YAWN - ALL RIGHT! SNOW! - I love the first snow of the year. - WHOAAA! - FUMP! - BLAT! SPLAT! BOP! - Did you enjoy the snow, Garfield? Quite...I'm ready for summer snow.
Attention, lounge lizards! This is your week in the sun. Today we begin celebrating "National Lazy Week"! - What's so great about being lazy, you say? - What if war were declared and nobody showed?
Is National Lazy Week for you? Ask yourself this: - Would you be willing to lead a parade in celebration of the lazy life? - If the answer is yes...you're all wrong for Lazy Week.
Never confuse being lazy with being apathetic. We lazy people are not apathetic. - Apathetic people don't care about anything. - Lazy people care, we just don't do anything about it.
Do people call you "worthless"? Do people call you a "couch potato"? - Why should we be held up to public ridicule just because we subscribe to a kinetically passive lifestyle. We should stand up for ourselves! - THE NEXT TIME PEOPLE CALL YOU
Don't forget the National Lazy Week motto, lazy people. "There must be an easier way". - Many great ideas have been spawned from that noble sentiment. - You can bet it wasn't an exercise freak who invented power steering.
For those of you who want to stop abusing your bodies through fanatic exercise, but can't muster the willpower... - You can now join "Garfield's Exercisers Anonymous". - Every time you feel an uncontrollable urge to jog, I send someone over
Waterin' down the coffee again, pilgrim? - Burp - - JON! - JON! WAKE UP! I'M HAVING NIGHTMARES! - Garfield, if you didn't stuff yourself right before going to bed, you wouldn't dream about big, ugly monsters. - Did you hear what he called you
Actually, Garfield is pretty easy to care for. - Cats are so clean, always primping and washing themselves. - We're out of foot powder. Almost to a fault.
Ah, my dear, you're as lovely as ever, but, you look so stiff and formal in that outfit. - Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? - LIKE ME!
* Oh, Nermalll * - Kittens love to chase things. - CRASH! This can be a very satisfying form of enterteinmant. - BONK! Kittens also love to play catch. - But, the best way to drive them wild is to hide objects from them. - ROWR! cRUNCH! HISS!
GARFIELD! WAKE UP! - I've made a decision that could alter the course of my entire life. - I have decided to grow a mustache. I suppose I could blame this on monday.
Notice anything different about me, Garfield? You're not drinking out of your Binky The Clown mug. - I think my mustache is coming in rather nicely. That's not your cocoa? - Wanna touch it? It feels really weird. Hey, buddy, I have to eat
Look Odie! A hideous hairy monster is nesting under Jon's nose! - Maybe it'sll spread and cover the rest of his face. - Are you making fun of me? IT MOVED!
Mustaches do strange things to people. - They make some guys think they're someone they're not. - Frankly, my dear, I don't give a darn. I don't feel safe here anymore.
I shaved my mustache off, Garfield. Do tell. - I decided it made me look like a walrus. I'm proud of you, Jon. - It takes a big walrus to admit his mistakes.
How's my little buddy today? Crowded. - TAP TAP TAP - Garfield, what are you doing? - SNAP! Charades? I love charades! Let's see...first word...you? No, you're! That's it! You're! - Leg! No! Stand! You're standing in something! - Fourth word!
Here I am falling asleep face down in a bowl of food. - This is it. I've reached the pinnacle of laziness and gluttony...how depressing. - There's no place to go after you've reached the top.
Don't slobber on the controls, Mr. Odie! - WHAT HO?! - Pistachios! And they're all mine! - crack BOING! - SNIFF SNIFF SNIFF - SNORT! - SLURP! - Dogs APPEAR friendly, but, I'd hate to get caught between one and his appetite. BURP
Garfield! That was a nasty fall you took. Are you all right` - Garfield? Who's Garfield? - OH, nO! HE'S LOST HIS MEMORY! I do seem to rememger being hungry.
Look, Garfield. It's Pooky! Your favorite possession and closest friend. Do you remember Pooky? - Don't be silly. I'm a grown cat. What would I need with a teddy bear?
Hey, stranger. This body ain't big enough for the both of us. - What a week...I fall on my head, totally lose my memory, and have no idea who this Garfield fella is. - - HANg ON! SOMETHING'S COMING BACK! - HA! HA! - WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! - I'm
This should jog your memory, Garfield... LASAGNA! - No thank you. You wouldn't have a plump, juicy mouse, wouldn't you? - ARRRGH! I'd never get this stuff out of my whiskers.
You just HAVE to restore Garfield's memory, doc. - He doesn't beat up on Odie, he doesn't claw the furniture, he's not lazy and obnoxious... - Are you sure you want me to do this? Come to think of it...
Perhaps Garfield's amnesia could be cured by lightly traumatizing his cranium. - KNOCK MY CAT ON THE HEAD?! WHO WOULD EVER DO SUCH A THING?!! - May I be of assistance? You stay out of this.
Go ahead. A little tap on the head may bring your cat's memory back. DONK! - GONK! - HEY! I CAN REMEMBER! IT'S ME! GARFIELD THE CAT! Garfield? Who's Garfield?
This kind of tired calls for coffee straight up. - - It's one of those mornings. - The kind of morning where you've been up for two minutes and it feels like two days. - If I can just make it to my coffee, I'll be all right. - It's in sight!
Garfield, I just don't know what I see in you. It is a bit overwhelming, isn't it? - You're rude, obnoxious, fat, selfish, egotistical, and totally devoid of any charm. - I AM NOT EGOTISTICAL
I love it when Jon loves a cake. - 'cause I get to lick the icing out of the bowl. - GARFIELD!! Of course, he'd prefer I wait till AFTER he's iced the cake.
* - FFT! BANG! UGH! Rats! The washer's broken! - Com on, Garfield, we have to go to the laundromat. - NO, JON! PLEASE ANYWHERE BUT THERE. - You know what that place is like! Especially on weekends. - I'll get him for this.
Garfield, you need more vegetables in your system. What are you going to do? Drive a carrot through my heart? - Here, have some spinach. OH-NO! - GASP! CHOKE! COUGH! Stop being melodramatic, Garfield.
So what's your name, sweet thing? I can't believe Jon! - How about a date? Trying to get a date with a wring number. - Tomorrow at seven? Great! A DESPARATE wrong number.
Now, be nice to my date. She might be sensitive about her weight. How'd she get in here? Through the garage door? - Her name is Bertha. Figures. - She's a lovely person. You can't judge a book by it's cover, you know. And you can't judge a
Yes, sir. Table for five. - Z - - There it is! Just like I told you! Z - Hey, cat! What is the meaning of this trap? Wha...? - You realize this is a direct violation of our treaty agreement. Aw, gimme a break. - You know this means war! Look,
Now don't make a bad impression on my date. Don't worry, Jon. I'll leave that up to you. - Ready for dinner, Bertha? - Is the sky blue? Do cats hate dogs?
I think you're going to like this restaurant, Bertha. As long as they serve food. A woman after my own heart. - Would you like a table or a booth? A table, please. And the lady will have a booth. - What do you have to do to get any serive
It was nice meeting you, Bertha. I hope you had a good time. - OH, I had a wonderful time! mmmph! - How was your date? I think I made an impression on her.
HA! HA! HA! HEE! HA! - - Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, naaaah * - * We're going for a walk, and you have to wear a dog coat. * - * We're gonna walk by some dogs, and they're gonna call you a nerd. * - * Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, naaaah * - Come on,
Garfield, meet the newest member of our family, Sweety Bird. - I just know you two are going to get along famously, right, Garfield? - Right, sure. Uh, would you happen to have a light for my cutting torch?
Hello, I'm Sweety Bird. I sing sweet happy songs to brighten your morning. - BRIGHTEN MY MORNING?! DO YOU WANT TO BRIGHTEN MY MORNING?! - Then you can march out of that cage and crawl between two slices of bread. JON!
Garfield, do you like sweety bird? He's right up there with dogs and mondays. - You wouldn't intend him any harm, would you? I don't know what you're talking about. - Then why is he covered with clam sauce? An old family recipe.
Hurry, Garfield, the TV workout show is about to start! - You promised you''d try it. So let's go. Okay, but first answer me this... - Just how the heck am I supposed to move?
Okay, stand up straight and put your hands on your hips. - Those of you too fat to find your hips, just give it your best guess. - I hate sarcastic fitness instructors.
Now for jumping jacks on the two count. - ONE! CRASH! - Oh, by the way, before we get to two, don't try this exercise on a recently polished floor. NOW he tells me.
No, seriously, Linda, I'm a fun guy. I do great impressions! - You do impressions too? Let's hear one. - Listen to this, Garfield, She sounds like a dial tone! This man has no brain.
The lone gourmet strikes again. - TAP! TAP! - YAWN - You go out and play, Pooky. - ZIP! WHAT tHE...? - HEY, WAIT A MINUTE! I'M NAILED TO MY BED! - WHA?!! - I suppose this was for putting the lizard in your shoe? Now we're even.
You're a slob, Garfield, Why can't you stay as clean as other cats? - You're supposed to wash yourself like this. Oh, very well. - Start with this arm and make it snappy. You have a lot of territory to cover.
OH, NO! YOU CHEWED UP MY NEWSPAPER AGAIN! - Hey! This isn't the paper I get. It must belong to a neighbor. - KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! A 250 lb. neighbor, to be precise.
I hate 3-D movies. - Here, Odie! Here, boy! - I'll throw the bone and you fetch it, okay, boy? Arf! - There it goes! - Odie just fell for the oldest trick in the book. - ZIP! WHUMP - Now what kind of dog would have a bone that big? - Oh, THAT
Life has many good things to offer: music, art, literature... - Sometimes I think about educating myself on those subjects... - But then I tihnk, "stick with what you know".
How did you get to be so lazy, Garfield? - Brains, hard work, tenacity and dedication. You're not just born lazy, you know. It's an acquired skill... - I'm sorry I asked. ...an art form if you will, not unlike poetry, dance or music.
Where did you find the brain, Nermal...at a garage sale?! - - Rats...bees. - - Buzz off, bees. This is my territory. Z?! - The old "big bee" routine works every time. - ZZZZZ - ZZZZZZ
JON! JON! WAKE UP! IT'S HORRIBLE! IT'S AWFUL! YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHING! - WHA tIS IT, GARFIELD?! IS THE HOUSE ON FIRE?! IS THERE A BURGLAR?! WORSE!!! - I have hunger pangs!
Ouch! Where did the mailman get chain mail socks? - All right! It's here! - Look, Garfield! It's the world's largest balloon! We'll see about that. - Uh...that's pretty big, Garfield, You ain't seen nothing yet. fuh! fuh! fuh! - Garfield?!
Aha! So Jon's trying to sneak off on vacation without me, huh? - He'll have quite a surprise in store for him. - Who says nothing good ever happens on a monday?
You know, Garfield, they say inside every fat person there's a thin person trying to get out. - I know what you mean. - Mine escaped about nine years ago and I haven't seen him since.
Hey, Garfield, the gang and I wanted to give you a gift of appreciation. How sweet! - Why the show of affection? We just like having you around. - Besides, if you left, Jon might get a REAL cat!
Come on, Odie. There's no reason to be afraid of the dark. - - Just look at this! Someone has left the cellar door open! - Jon has told me a hundred times to keep it closed. - Or somebody might get hurt. SLAM! - thump thump thump thump thump
Okay, Odie, I heard you dogs are supposed to be good at tracking things. Maybe you can help me... - Here's a picture of a lasagna. Now get it, Odie! Get it! - Grrrrrr!
Stop being so melodramatic, Garfield, You've only been on your diet for ten minutes. - Z - Mmm, food! - I love food. - GARFIELD! YOUR EATING IS OUT OF CONTROL! - More food! - More trainloads of food! Air-drop food into my mouth! More cattle!
How about some fine cuisine en boite this evening, my dear? That's French for "food in a can". - KNOCK KNOCK - Good evening, Lori, my dear. Our dinner awaits. - Your steak, madam. pant pant pant - ODIE! GET OUT OF HERE! - rrrrr GIMME THAT! -
Hey, mom, guess what I got at a garage sale? - I bought one of those cow skulls like you see in the old westerns. Behind you, Jon! - Hang on, mom, I think I'm about to scream or something.
Garfield, did you know everything evolves from a lower life form? I didn't know that? - Why, of course! It all makes sense now! - Rocks evolved from dogs!
We cats love to roam around in the dark. - Our keen eyesight allows us to see perfectly in the blackest of... - click I think I'll curl up and die now.
Let me guess. There's another spider in the house. - - ARRRRGH! - GARFIELD! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO LIE NEAR THE DOOR?! - I'M SICK OF TRIPPING OVER YOU! All right! All right! - Why does this always happen to me? - ARRRRGH! - HOW
Hey, Garfield, you're going to be nine years old this friday. Thanks for reminding me. - As cats go, you're approaching the golden years. - The heck with the golden years. I'm five and holding.
What's the matter, Garfield? Feeling your years now that you're turning nine? - Come closer, my son. I'm having trouble hearing you. - SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GARFIELD!! That sure is a lot of candles. - Oh well, I should be happy to have a birthday, I guess. fffff - As opposed to the alternative.
I hate it when Odie plays by my rules. - Sigh...time to wake up and go to bed. - SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE - - - YAWN - It must have been something I ate.
Look, Garfield, I don't care if you think it tastes awful. You'd better eat that because you're not getting anything else! - SPLUT! - Hmmm...he's right. It DOES taste pretty awful.
You're going on a diet, Jon! NO! NO! - Z - Z - Z - SNORT. WHA?!! - GARFIELD, I'M TRYING TO SLEEP! WHAT DO YOU WANT? - What every other cat in the world wants from its owner at 3:00 A.M. - My teddy bear!
Garfield! You fixed my funny glasses! Yup. - How did you do it? I used glue. - HEY! THEY'RE STUCK TO MY FACE! Gee, Jon, I guess this means I'll never be able to take you seriously again.
I'd like to buy some glue solvent. Is this a holdup? - No, you see, my cat glued these glasses to my face. Your cat? - Sounds silly, huh? Not at all...hello, police?
Look Garfield, I bought you a rubber mouse. What's that for? - You can chase it, toss it in the air, stalk it and pounce on it. Yes? - Oh, forget it. Maybe it plays music or something.
RAOW! RAOW! RAOW! You know, I wonder what a dog would do with a cat if it ever caught one? - SCREEEE Okay, mutt! You caught me! Now what are you going to do with me?! - Next time I lead, all right?
No Soliciting Attack Cat On Duty - - Okay, Odie, now for a lesson in home plumbing. - All the water lines in this house are connected. - Thusly, if I turn the hot water on here, there will no longer be hot water in Jon's shower. - Observer. -
Hehwo, widdle puddy tat! - Is'm widdle puddy tat a nicey wicey puddy tat? - Excuse me while nicey wicey puddy tat takes a barfy warfy in the grassy wassy.
LEAVE THAT FERN ALONE! DO YOU HEAR ME?! - Good heavens, you really ARE listening to me. Could it be you're starting to respect me? - Let's see you make that little thing that hangs down in the back of your throat dance around again!
- This could be any refrigerator, maybe yours. - Deep within the frozen wastes it lurks. - Ancient mayonnaise, fossilized cabbage, slowly mutating over untold eons, gradually achieving consciousness... - Until that terrible day when it is
I can understand why you watch TV to escape, Garfield, You have so mucht to escape... - The 12 hour naps, the free room and board, the nonstop snacking. - The srcasm, Jon. You forgot the endless sarcasm.
My zest for life must be a quart low. - Ladies and gentlemen, Garfield and his trained dog will now perform for you. - Do a back flip, Odie. - Beg, Odie. - Roll over, Odie. - GARFIELD! DINNER! - Burp, boy, great dinner. - Now where's Odie?
Let's go fishing, Garfield. - Well, what do you think? I think you're right. - Fish paralyzed by hysterical fits of laughter probably ARE easier to catch.
Poor little worms, waiting to be skewered on Jon's hook and then fed to some vicious fish. Well it's not right! - YOU'RE FREE! YOU'RE FREE! - Swimming must not be one of their strong suits.
- Hello, plants. Oh no! Shoo! Scat! - Well, let's see what's on the menu today. Mrs Brown! There's a cat out here! - I think I'll start with a salad. NOOO! RUN, HAROLD! RUN! - GLOMP HAROOLD! WE GOT HAROLD! - burp Oh, Ralph! What will we do?!
Get up, Garfield, Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, you know. - You're quite right, Jon. I couldn't agree with you more. - Now, be a good boy and bring it back at noon.
We humans are lucky, Garfield. We can sing and play instruments. - You cat have no way of showing your appreciation for music. Oh, but I do. - I sold your piano.
Uh-oh, it looks as though Mr. Cliche is about to unburden himself of another stale platitude. - "He who fills his pockets with the rocks of misdeeds will surely sink in the river of good fortune". - That boy wasn't born, he was found in a
- Is this seat taken? Not at all. - Wow! That's a big cat! He didn't look that big from the front of the bus 'cause things look smaller from far away. - You, if he had a mane he'd look like a lion, but, then they'd make him get off at the
I had an uncle who used to play with yarn... - He's now a pattern in an angora sweater. - You're just saying that to ruin my fun, aren't you? Can you afford to take a chance?
You've got a pretty good thing going here, don't you? Yup. - Jon feeds me, strokes me, changes my kitty litter and caters to my whims. So what does HE get out of it? - He gets to call himself "Master".
Dear Hair Ball Cat Food Co., I find your cat food gives my cat a "long silky coat of hair" as advertised... - However, I think you should add a disclaimer. - "Do not feed your cat more than 36 cans a day."
You're wasting your life away, Garfield. You should be out there...uh... - Out there doing whatever it is cats do. - That's what I like about being a cat. Our standards are low.
Up next, "Pasta Parade," followed by "World of Waffles". I love this all-food channel. - I ask you...what more to life could there possibly be? - Decisions, decisions... - Should I eat first and then sleep or sleep first and then eat? -
...and I was wondering if you'd go out with me tonight? - You say you'd rather go out with camel spittle? Zap her back! Zap her back! - "But what if your brother already has plans?" That's what I should have said! Ol' Lighning Wit strikes
There's one thing I can count on from Garfield. - Nice drapes, Arbuckle. It would be a shame if someone else slashed 'em into party streamers. - Protection.
Hurry, Garfield! Get to the car! - Quick! Lock the doors! Roll up the windows! - They'rfe probably watching the house right now. We'll have to move out of state! He used an expired coupon.
Leave that station on, Garfield. It's "Hamlet". - To be or not to be. CLICK! - Hey! What are you doing?! Solving an existential dilemma with modern technology.
Why is it the phone only rings when I'm in the bath? Relax, one call a week isn't that bad. - BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP - That's right, Beverly, I will not go out with you tonight. - Yes, I know you're madly in love with me, but I have better
Jon, is this one of those cult films? - One, two! One, two! One, two! - Hey, Garfield, I've noticed you're pretty out of shape. Nonsense, I watch 30 minutes of Aerobics a day. - So I bought you these jogging shoes! I hope you kept the
No, please don't do it. In the name of humanity!! - - - - WHUMP! - Haw! Haw! Haw! Haw! - ZIP! - WHUMP! - Haw! Haw! Haw! - Reba! Come here and look at this, but you'd better cinch up your corset first!
Garfield, what's the matter? - JON! YOU GOTTA CLEAN OUT THE REFRIGERATOR! - Whatever it is, it can't be that bad, old buddy. The tuna is spawning in the tomato soup!
Watching the paint dry, Garfield? - I hope he doesn't think that my life is so totally devoid of excitement that I am reduced to that. - I'm waiting for it to peel.
- A hungry vulture perches above his prey, silently, patiently, waiting for his meal to draw its last breath. - CLICK - - CLICK STOP THAT! YOU KNOW I HATE THAT! - NO MORE VULTURES! No more vultures. - Z A voracious alligator stealthily glides
Nothing is showing up on the computer radar so I'll put a nice "Mr. Sunshine" right here. - But, satellite photos show an approaching low-pressure area, so I'll put mean ol' "Mr. Thunderstorm" and his lighning bolt right here. - LOOK OUT, MR.
Let's check the weather. - Hmmm. Looks like a good day to stay in in bed. - Mostly boring this morning with a 50% chance of intermittent depression this afternoon.
Being depressed is bad enough. Now Jon will probably try to cheer me up with stupid platitudes. - You're depressing, Garfield. And you're fat and lazy too. - Then again, even stupid platitudes have their good points.
Cheep up, Garfield. Just remember that life is just a game. - It's not whether you win or lose, but how you play that counts. - So, what are you going to do today? Forfeit.
Can we be of assistance? * - That stupid dog next door is in for a BIG surprise. - When he comes by, he will mistake the mirror for me. - Then he will attack and fall into this pit. - Then this net will fall on him. - Then this cement mixer
Do you always insult the people you weigh? Yes. It's a defense mechanism. - Insults compensate for my own depressions, my insecurities, my loathing for this job and my lot in life. - I'm sorry to hear that. Thanks, blubber bottom.
Can we take a 50-mile hike today, Jon? - Huh? Can we? Can we? Can we? boing boing - You're drinking too much coffee, Garfield. Or a swim. What if we swim to Tahiti?
How much do I weigh today, RX-2? - You weigh somewhere between seven and thirty-two pounds. - I have learned it is wise to give my customers a wide selection.
Like the sandwich I made for you, Odie? - Hey, Garfield! Come out here! - Watch me blow this bubble. You're going to get a bang out of it. - FUH-FUH-FUH-FUH - BANG - You're right. That was fun. - HERE! YOU CHEW THE GUM THIS TIME! - That's it,
Gourmands know their utensils. This is the table-spoon, the teaspoon, the soupspoon, the sugar spoon. - And my personal favorite... - Theplay spoon! toing SPLUT!
One of these days, Arlene! One of these days...POW! To the moon! - - OH-NO! SOMEONE ATE MY DINNER! - AHA! FAT MICE! - You guys wouldn't know what happened to my dinner, would you? Oh, sure! Blame us. - It's always the mice's fault, right men?
That's not what I meant by "drop anchor", little buddy. - First things first, let's talk about me. - You see, Renee, I'm a pretty mature, suave kinda guy. - Are these yours? - Heh, het. Well...uh. They have teddy bears all over them. - What's
This honey has lots of options like windshield wipers and a horn. - You mean things like windshield wipers and a horn are options? - No offense, pal, but in your price range, the TIRES are optional.
This car's a real steal at $ 1,900. - It has twice the luggage space of any other car in its class. - Where's the back seat? Oh, no! I'll notify the authorities.
Don't go away, folks, I'll be right back. - Honest Ed seems nice enough, Garfield, but there's something about him I don't trust. - Maybe it's the fact his office is in a pickup truck with the engine running.
Nice doin' business with you. And, remember, at Honest Ed's, we stand beside every car we sell. - Don't you mean you stand "behind" every car you sell? - Not with the mechanics I've got working for me! VAROOM! CRASH
Cute, Garfield, Tell me the future. - You are about to become upset with your cat. - Hey, wait a minute! Where's my goldfish? It was (burp) here a minute ago.
Honestly, Garfield, I forgot that it was decaffeinated. rrrrr - - KNEAD KNEAD KNEAD - Z Z - Oh, no!! My guilt! - Oh, well,,,I suppose I shouldn't yeall at him... - He's just doing what comes naturally for a ca- - - GARFIELD!
You're lazy, Garfield. You just don't understand, do you, Jon? - In the grand scheme of things, each of us has our little niche to fill. - Through with our rationalization, are we? It's my niche time.
Hey, Garfield, I looked up the word "lazy" in the dictionary and they had your picture by it. - That's a lie. - I slept through the appointment for the photo session.
You awake yet? - The wild house cat spies his unsuspecting prey. - Potato chips! - Why do they make these bags so hard to open? - EERRRGGHH - NNGGNNFF SQUEEZE - KA-BLAM! - GARFIELD! WHAT HAPPENED? They oughta put warnings on those bags!
Cats have just surpassed dogs as the country's favorite pets! - - Somehow the victory would have been more satisfying had the competition been stiffer.
Garfield, you're never going to lose weight eating between the meals. There's only one thing to do. - Do you know the meaning of "willpower"? - I don't know the meaning of "between meals".
Let's just say, talking during the movie is a pet peeve of mine. - Z - Garfield, you must be the slowest, laziest thing on the face of the earth. On the contrary. - I'm not slow at everything I do. - I'm the fastest eater I know. GOOSH! - I
What's the matter, Garfield? Don't you feel good? That's an understatement. - Do you think it was something you ate? No... - WHANG!! It was something YOU fed me!
I, the Caped Avenger, shall seek out injustice wherever it may lurk... - And with one swift motion of my mighty hand, I will go... - Naughty, naughty, naughty!
Oops! I think I've made a tiny mistake! - CRASH! - Boy, am I in a rotten mood. - Out of my way, brie breath! PUNT! - Hey, you! You can't do that or I'll tell my sister, Loretta! Loreatta? - She'll pound you flat! Bring her on. A good fight
Odie's never around when I need a fall guy. - Hmmm. - Hey, Jon, look what I can do with this grape. - poo! - GUNK! Oh, yeah? Watch this! - I'm not impressed. - WATCH THIS! OH YEAH? WATCH THIS! - Veterinary clinic What the... Don't ask.
Garfield, you've been drinking too much coffee lately. There's no such thing as too much coffee. - I'm worried about you. Okay, okay! I'll cut down! - Just give me half a cup.
Sorry, Garfield, but we're out of coffee this morning. I noticed. - I guess we'll just have to go without. That's what YOU think. - What are you doing? Sucking on a used coffee filter.
I feel awful, but I don't think it could be anything that I ate. - - Hee, hee, hee. - Hey, Garfield, remember thet time I was drinking root beer and you made that funny face. - And I snorted the root beer right out my nose? - And I got all
Here's a story about a cat who travelled 200 miles to find his owner. - Can you imagine YOU doing that, Garfield? - HA! HA! HA! I would send a postcard.
The one thing I hate about the Christmas season is addressing all these cards. - I believe I have a way to cut your work in half. - Address this one to dad AND mom.
Garfield, I know you're excited about Christmas. - And I know it's only natural to be curious about what's inside your presents. - BUT PUT THAT METAL DETECTOR AWAY!
I wonder what that is? - Up and at 'em, boys! It's a bright new day! - Let's plan the day, boys. Here we go again. - First item of business: the Christmas tree. Let's leave it up a while longer. - Translation! "Let's leave the tree there till
This year I pledge to lose weight and get in shape! - No, no, be realistic, Garfield, That's a bit much to bite off. Perhaps I should set a bit more realistic goal. - I pledge to establish contact with aliens from another planet!
Well. it's time to take stock of the year. - Let's see...I ate and slept and accomplished not one single thing of socially redeeming value. - I'm so proud of me.
Let's see. This year I've eaten 2,190 snacks and taken 1,822 naps. - Oh, no! According to my figures I missed a nap in april and two in july! - Uh...Garfield? QUIET, MAN! I HAVE SOME SERIOUS CATCHING UP TO DO!