garfield :: (null)

		» 1 January 1987 »
It's time to clean the fridge, Garfield. I'll call a S.W.A.T. team. - Grim. - I haven't seen these olives in years. And it's only halfway back.
1 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
You're a very brave cat, Garfield, and I know you want me to be proud of you. - ZOOM! - He can smell a visit to the vet a mile away.
2 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
POOKY! - HOW DARE YOU HARM MY TEDDY BEAR! pop - BAP BAP BAP BAP BAP
3 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
YAWN - ALL RIGHT! SNOW! - I love the first snow of the year. - WHOAAA! - FUMP! - BLAT! SPLAT! BOP! - Did you enjoy the snow, Garfield? Quite...I'm ready for summer snow.
4 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Attention, lounge lizards! This is your week in the sun. Today we begin celebrating "National Lazy Week"! - What's so great about being lazy, you say? - What if war were declared and nobody showed?
5 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Is National Lazy Week for you? Ask yourself this: - Would you be willing to lead a parade in celebration of the lazy life? - If the answer is yes...you're all wrong for Lazy Week.
6 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Never confuse being lazy with being apathetic. We lazy people are not apathetic. - Apathetic people don't care about anything. - Lazy people care, we just don't do anything about it.
7 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Do people call you "worthless"? Do people call you a "couch potato"? - Why should we be held up to public ridicule just because we subscribe to a kinetically passive lifestyle. We should stand up for ourselves! - THE NEXT TIME PEOPLE CALL YOU
8 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Don't forget the National Lazy Week motto, lazy people. "There must be an easier way". - Many great ideas have been spawned from that noble sentiment. - You can bet it wasn't an exercise freak who invented power steering.
9 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
For those of you who want to stop abusing your bodies through fanatic exercise, but can't muster the willpower... - You can now join "Garfield's Exercisers Anonymous". - Every time you feel an uncontrollable urge to jog, I send someone over
10 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Waterin' down the coffee again, pilgrim? - Burp - - JON! - JON! WAKE UP! I'M HAVING NIGHTMARES! - Garfield, if you didn't stuff yourself right before going to bed, you wouldn't dream about big, ugly monsters. - Did you hear what he called you
11 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Isn't this great, Garfield? We have a whole day of fishing ahead of us! Hotcha. - HEY! WHERE's THE BAIT? Bait? - GARFIELD! I thought it was sushi.
12 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Actually, Garfield is pretty easy to care for. - Cats are so clean, always primping and washing themselves. - We're out of foot powder. Almost to a fault.
13 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Ah, my dear, you're as lovely as ever, but, you look so stiff and formal in that outfit. - Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? - LIKE ME!
14 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- CHOMP! - SPRONG!
15 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Just what is an heirloom? - A heirloom is something that's been in your family for generations... - That no one's had the guts to pitch out.
16 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
zzzzzzz - zzzzzzz - zzzzzz Just as I suspected.
17 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
* Oh, Nermalll * - Kittens love to chase things. - CRASH! This can be a very satisfying form of enterteinmant. - BONK! Kittens also love to play catch. - But, the best way to drive them wild is to hide objects from them. - ROWR! cRUNCH! HISS!
18 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
GARFIELD! WAKE UP! - I've made a decision that could alter the course of my entire life. - I have decided to grow a mustache. I suppose I could blame this on monday.
19 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Notice anything different about me, Garfield? You're not drinking out of your Binky The Clown mug. - I think my mustache is coming in rather nicely. That's not your cocoa? - Wanna touch it? It feels really weird. Hey, buddy, I have to eat
20 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Look Odie! A hideous hairy monster is nesting under Jon's nose! - Maybe it'sll spread and cover the rest of his face. - Are you making fun of me? IT MOVED!
21 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Mustaches do strange things to people. - They make some guys think they're someone they're not. - Frankly, my dear, I don't give a darn. I don't feel safe here anymore.
22 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
ARRRGH! - JON! WHAt HAPPENED? I'M FINE! GO AWAY! - ARE YOU OKAY? TELL ME! The shaver snagged my mustache, okay?
23 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I shaved my mustache off, Garfield. Do tell. - I decided it made me look like a walrus. I'm proud of you, Jon. - It takes a big walrus to admit his mistakes.
24 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
How's my little buddy today? Crowded. - TAP TAP TAP - Garfield, what are you doing? - SNAP! Charades? I love charades! Let's see...first word...you? No, you're! That's it! You're! - Leg! No! Stand! You're standing in something! - Fourth word!
25 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- - Amused, Garfield? That's "Mr. Fig Face" to you.
26 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
* - *
27 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Here I am falling asleep face down in a bowl of food. - This is it. I've reached the pinnacle of laziness and gluttony...how depressing. - There's no place to go after you've reached the top.
28 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I eat too much because I'm depressed, and I'm depressed because I eat too much. - It's a vicious circle... - That took years to perfect!
29 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
BANG! BANG! Hello? Anybody home? - BRINNNNNG! - Next time, use the door knocker. Sorry.
30 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- STOP RIGHT THERE! - Sometimes that's all a cat understands.
31 January 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Don't slobber on the controls, Mr. Odie! - WHAT HO?! - Pistachios! And they're all mine! - crack BOING! - SNIFF SNIFF SNIFF - SNORT! - SLURP! - Dogs APPEAR friendly, but, I'd hate to get caught between one and his appetite. BURP
1 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- BONK! - GARFIELD! SPEAK TO ME! Aunty Em? Is that you?
2 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield! That was a nasty fall you took. Are you all right` - Garfield? Who's Garfield? - OH, nO! HE'S LOST HIS MEMORY! I do seem to rememger being hungry.
3 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Having anmesia isn't so bad. It'll be kind of fun finding out what a great guy I am. - ARRRGH! - OH, NO! I'M A CAT!
4 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Maybe seeing Odie will jog your memory. What a swell looking dog. Put 'er there. - YIP! YIP! YIP! - I woner if I'm going to like this Garfield?
5 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Look, Garfield. It's Pooky! Your favorite possession and closest friend. Do you remember Pooky? - Don't be silly. I'm a grown cat. What would I need with a teddy bear?
6 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Amnesia has wiped my slate clean. I start establishing who I am today. - - I am (burp) a glutton.
7 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hey, stranger. This body ain't big enough for the both of us. - What a week...I fall on my head, totally lose my memory, and have no idea who this Garfield fella is. - - HANg ON! SOMETHING'S COMING BACK! - HA! HA! - WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! - I'm
8 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Amnesia is weird. This Garfield is like a total stranger to me. - I know nothing about him. - Aside from what the creep did to my body.
9 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
This should jog your memory, Garfield... LASAGNA! - No thank you. You wouldn't have a plump, juicy mouse, wouldn't you? - ARRRGH! I'd never get this stuff out of my whiskers.
10 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
You just HAVE to restore Garfield's memory, doc. - He doesn't beat up on Odie, he doesn't claw the furniture, he's not lazy and obnoxious... - Are you sure you want me to do this? Come to think of it...
11 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Let's test his reflexes. DONK! - - DOING! Normal. For Garfield.
12 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Perhaps Garfield's amnesia could be cured by lightly traumatizing his cranium. - KNOCK MY CAT ON THE HEAD?! WHO WOULD EVER DO SUCH A THING?!! - May I be of assistance? You stay out of this.
13 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Go ahead. A little tap on the head may bring your cat's memory back. DONK! - GONK! - HEY! I CAN REMEMBER! IT'S ME! GARFIELD THE CAT! Garfield? Who's Garfield?
14 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- dig dig dig dig - ? - dig dig dig - ?!! - DIG DIG DIG - pat pat pat
15 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
RIIINNNGG Z - SMASH! - I hate alarm clocks.
16 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I hate spiders! - STOMP! - I hate hating spiders.
17 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- - I hate wax doughnuts.
18 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- FWANG! - I hate folding chairs.
19 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
SWOOSH - BLAT! I hate windy days.
20 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Z - CRACK - I hate leg cramps.
21 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
This kind of tired calls for coffee straight up. - - It's one of those mornings. - The kind of morning where you've been up for two minutes and it feels like two days. - If I can just make it to my coffee, I'll be all right. - It's in sight!
22 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- - GOINK GOINK GOINK
23 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH - PTOOEY
24 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Aw, poor doughnut, you look lonely. - You need a friend. - I have a lasagna I'd like you to meet.
25 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Can I have half of that doughnut, Garfield? - NO! GOOMP! -
26 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
GARFIELD! - That's my last jelly filled doughnut! - CLAP SQUIP!
27 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
What filing might you be? Jelly? Cream? - - You won't, perchance, know anything about spinach-filled doughnuts, would you?
28 February 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
GRRROOWLL rrrr - Doughnuts! - MUNCH MUNCH CHOMP SMACK - More! I must have more! - MORE! - MOMMY! - POW - Garfield? Stop me! Stop me before I snack again!
1 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
WOOF! - Back off, you dumb mutt, or I'll scratch your... - ankles off.
2 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- ARRRGH! - It was only a dream! It was only a dream! It was only a dream!
3 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield, I just don't know what I see in you. It is a bit overwhelming, isn't it? - You're rude, obnoxious, fat, selfish, egotistical, and totally devoid of any charm. - I AM NOT EGOTISTICAL
4 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Arlene, I think it's time we get serious. You do? - Yes, serious about getting that gap between your teeth fixed. - The truth hurts.
5 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
YAWN - ARRRRGH! -
6 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I love it when Jon loves a cake. - 'cause I get to lick the icing out of the bowl. - GARFIELD!! Of course, he'd prefer I wait till AFTER he's iced the cake.
7 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
* - FFT! BANG! UGH! Rats! The washer's broken! - Com on, Garfield, we have to go to the laundromat. - NO, JON! PLEASE ANYWHERE BUT THERE. - You know what that place is like! Especially on weekends. - I'll get him for this.
8 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield, you need more vegetables in your system. What are you going to do? Drive a carrot through my heart? - Here, have some spinach. OH-NO! - GASP! CHOKE! COUGH! Stop being melodramatic, Garfield.
9 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Eat your spinach, Garfield. - It's good for you. - Well, now that's more like it!
10 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Have some spinach, Garfield. - Sure, and let's garnish it with a big box of raisins. - ZIP! I HATE THEM TOO!
11 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Spinach. - It tastes bad. It looks bad. - SPLUT! It even sounds bad.
12 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Yuck! Spinach! - - Garfield! You ate all your spinach! Not really. It's in the saltshaker.
13 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I hate spinach. - It's green, it's slimy. - And it looks like it's moving.
14 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
SMACK! You used all the hot water again. - La la laaah - * - - - - SLAM! - Isn't that disgusting? Just look at that, Reba! I'm looking! I'm looking!
15 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
RRINNGG! - Hello? Iuh, I think you have the wrong number. - But...would you care to make it the right number, songbird? This is a lonely man here.
16 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
So what's your name, sweet thing? I can't believe Jon! - How about a date? Trying to get a date with a wring number. - Tomorrow at seven? Great! A DESPARATE wrong number.
17 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield, I'd like you to meet my date. - MOMMA MIA! - What's with your cat? He's, uh, terrified of daisies.
18 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Now, be nice to my date. She might be sensitive about her weight. How'd she get in here? Through the garage door? - Her name is Bertha. Figures. - She's a lovely person. You can't judge a book by it's cover, you know. And you can't judge a
19 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Bertha, I'd like you to meet Garfield. - He could use some meat on his bones. - Affectionate sort, isn't he? He's a sucker for sweet talk.
20 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Think, Jon, think. There's gotta be SOMETHING nice to say to your date. - My, your teeth are round. I eat a lot. - You don't say! No! Really!
21 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Yes, sir. Table for five. - Z - - There it is! Just like I told you! Z - Hey, cat! What is the meaning of this trap? Wha...? - You realize this is a direct violation of our treaty agreement. Aw, gimme a break. - You know this means war! Look,
22 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Now don't make a bad impression on my date. Don't worry, Jon. I'll leave that up to you. - Ready for dinner, Bertha? - Is the sky blue? Do cats hate dogs?
23 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I think you're going to like this restaurant, Bertha. As long as they serve food. A woman after my own heart. - Would you like a table or a booth? A table, please. And the lady will have a booth. - What do you have to do to get any serive
24 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
And how would madame like her steak? - Just run the steer by the table and I'll grab off a hunk! - HAW! HAW! HAW! HAW! HAW! HAW! Et tu, Garfield?
25 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Boy, I couldn't eat another bite. Would you like my... - SHOOP! - rrrr rrrr I guess we don't need a doggie bag.
26 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
How was your meal, Bertha? GREAT! THANKS! SLAP! SPLUT! - Just be thankful she didn't hate it.
27 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
It was nice meeting you, Bertha. I hope you had a good time. - OH, I had a wonderful time! mmmph! - How was your date? I think I made an impression on her.
28 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
HA! HA! HA! HEE! HA! - - Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, naaaah * - * We're going for a walk, and you have to wear a dog coat. * - * We're gonna walk by some dogs, and they're gonna call you a nerd. * - * Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, naaaah * - Come on,
29 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield, meet the newest member of our family, Sweety Bird. - I just know you two are going to get along famously, right, Garfield? - Right, sure. Uh, would you happen to have a light for my cutting torch?
30 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hello, I'm Sweety Bird. I sing sweet happy songs to brighten your morning. - BRIGHTEN MY MORNING?! DO YOU WANT TO BRIGHTEN MY MORNING?! - Then you can march out of that cage and crawl between two slices of bread. JON!
31 March 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield, do you like sweety bird? He's right up there with dogs and mondays. - You wouldn't intend him any harm, would you? I don't know what you're talking about. - Then why is he covered with clam sauce? An old family recipe.
1 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
SQWAWK! - HONK! - Did we remember how to open the bird cage? Not only that, we forgot birds could fly.
2 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hey, bird! You think you're safe out there, huh? - Well, I have a little treat for you! - Have you, perchance, ever heard a cat scream?
3 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hey, Garfield! What are you doing out there? - And look! Sweety bird's on your head! - WHERE'S MY CAMERA? I loathe life.
4 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- - - - You know, Garfield, sharing is one of life's greates pleasures. - GULP! - I love giving people pleasure.
5 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hurry, Garfield, the TV workout show is about to start! - You promised you''d try it. So let's go. Okay, but first answer me this... - Just how the heck am I supposed to move?
6 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
GARFIELD! - YOU SHREDDED MY RUNNING SHOES! Someday you'll thank me for that, Jon. - Jogging's the disease. I'm the cure.
7 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Okay, stand up straight and put your hands on your hips. - Those of you too fat to find your hips, just give it your best guess. - I hate sarcastic fitness instructors.
8 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Now for jumping jacks on the two count. - ONE! CRASH! - Oh, by the way, before we get to two, don't try this exercise on a recently polished floor. NOW he tells me.
9 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
That's good, everybody. Push up! - ...and down! - ...and up!... I was built for push-ups.
10 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
No, seriously, Linda, I'm a fun guy. I do great impressions! - You do impressions too? Let's hear one. - Listen to this, Garfield, She sounds like a dial tone! This man has no brain.
11 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
The lone gourmet strikes again. - TAP! TAP! - YAWN - You go out and play, Pooky. - ZIP! WHAT tHE...? - HEY, WAIT A MINUTE! I'M NAILED TO MY BED! - WHA?!! - I suppose this was for putting the lizard in your shoe? Now we're even.
12 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
You're a slob, Garfield, Why can't you stay as clean as other cats? - You're supposed to wash yourself like this. Oh, very well. - Start with this arm and make it snappy. You have a lot of territory to cover.
13 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- - See anything you like?
14 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Do you know what I hate most about this bed? - UNNNGH! - Trying to sleep on my back.
15 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
It's time to get up. - CREAK! CRACK! - It's also time to go on and diet.
16 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
OH, NO! YOU CHEWED UP MY NEWSPAPER AGAIN! - Hey! This isn't the paper I get. It must belong to a neighbor. - KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! A 250 lb. neighbor, to be precise.
17 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Thin ice --> - SPLOOSH! - Hexy! THIS ice isn't thin! - Neither are you.
18 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I hate 3-D movies. - Here, Odie! Here, boy! - I'll throw the bone and you fetch it, okay, boy? Arf! - There it goes! - Odie just fell for the oldest trick in the book. - ZIP! WHUMP - Now what kind of dog would have a bone that big? - Oh, THAT
19 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
This is a perfect day to stay in bed and contemplate life's truths. - Yip! Yip! BRINNNG! GET UP, GARFIELD! - Truths like: "mondays stink".
20 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Life has many good things to offer: music, art, literature... - Sometimes I think about educating myself on those subjects... - But then I tihnk, "stick with what you know".
21 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
How did you get to be so lazy, Garfield? - Brains, hard work, tenacity and dedication. You're not just born lazy, you know. It's an acquired skill... - I'm sorry I asked. ...an art form if you will, not unlike poetry, dance or music.
22 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Here comes the mailman, Garfield. I want you to be on your best behavior. - ROWRR! - I must admit, that was one of my better behaviors.
23 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I ate too much. - I'll probably get another sermon from Jon. - Garfield, you eat too much. I was hoping you wouldn't notice.
24 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
screeee And just what are you doing? - SWIPE! - Your turn. YOU GOTTA JUSTIFY EVERYTHING, DON'T YOU?!
25 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Where did you find the brain, Nermal...at a garage sale?! - - Rats...bees. - - Buzz off, bees. This is my territory. Z?! - The old "big bee" routine works every time. - ZZZZZ - ZZZZZZ
26 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
It was high noon when the stranger rode into town. - Now comes my favorite part... - He hitched up his horse and ambled into the saloon.
27 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I am hungry. - Therefore I am. - Rationalizing another bout with gluttony, Garfield. I don't discuss philosophy with pea brains.
28 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Now I lay me down to sleep... - Hold that thought... - I think I heard Garfield open the refrigerator door.
29 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
JON! JON! WAKE UP! IT'S HORRIBLE! IT'S AWFUL! YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHING! - WHA tIS IT, GARFIELD?! IS THE HOUSE ON FIRE?! IS THERE A BURGLAR?! WORSE!!! - I have hunger pangs!
30 April 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I love this feeling of power. - - Now I want to watch a cooking show! click
1 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Ah, I see Jon placed a pie on his windowsill to tempt me. - Well, let it be known I'm capable of resisting all temptations! - I just don't choose to.
2 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Ouch! Where did the mailman get chain mail socks? - All right! It's here! - Look, Garfield! It's the world's largest balloon! We'll see about that. - Uh...that's pretty big, Garfield, You ain't seen nothing yet. fuh! fuh! fuh! - Garfield?!
3 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Aha! So Jon's trying to sneak off on vacation without me, huh? - He'll have quite a surprise in store for him. - Who says nothing good ever happens on a monday?
4 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Laziness and procrastination go hand in hand. - See this hair? - It's cat hair I never got around to shedding last year.
5 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- Huh, the stereo's all the way up, and there's no sound. - I'd better tell Jon.
6 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
You know, Garfield, they say inside every fat person there's a thin person trying to get out. - I know what you mean. - Mine escaped about nine years ago and I haven't seen him since.
7 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hey, Garfield, the gang and I wanted to give you a gift of appreciation. How sweet! - Why the show of affection? We just like having you around. - Besides, if you left, Jon might get a REAL cat!
8 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
How about a nice quiet breakfast for two, Garfield? Great idea! - SLAM! click - Sometimes Jon can be so thoughtful
9 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Come on, Odie. There's no reason to be afraid of the dark. - - Just look at this! Someone has left the cellar door open! - Jon has told me a hundred times to keep it closed. - Or somebody might get hurt. SLAM! - thump thump thump thump thump
10 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I'm hungry! Patience, Garfield. - It's time you learn a little patience. - Patience is waiting for the pizza to thaw.
11 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Look at that stomach, Garfield. That's disgusting! - I'm putting you on a diet. - Rat fink.
12 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hello, diet. Goodbye, food. - ERRRK! - Hello, sugar withdrawal.
13 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Okay, Odie, I heard you dogs are supposed to be good at tracking things. Maybe you can help me... - Here's a picture of a lasagna. Now get it, Odie! Get it! - Grrrrrr!
14 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I've only been on this diet for two days and I feel thinner already. - - It must be a delayed reflection.
15 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Fat's a funny thing. You never lose it from the right places. - - Fat has a sick sense of humor.
16 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Stop being so melodramatic, Garfield, You've only been on your diet for ten minutes. - Z - Mmm, food! - I love food. - GARFIELD! YOUR EATING IS OUT OF CONTROL! - More food! - More trainloads of food! Air-drop food into my mouth! More cattle!
17 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Boy, I wish I had a fifty pound pan of lasagna. - KRONG!!! - Now wouldn't you think I'd know better than to make a wish like that on a monday.
18 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
There are many ways to make a diet more appealing. - Some say it helps to dress your food up. - I say it still looks like celery.
19 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I hate diets. - They're morally wrong. - A stomach is a terrible thing to waste.
20 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
OH, GARFIELD! - You've done so well on your diet I'm giving you a treat. - OH MY GOSH! I'VE FORGOTTEN HOW TO EAT!
21 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Let me put it this way...have you ever considered a career as a river barge? - Your mother was a blender. - That hurt.
22 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Come on, take a chance, weigh yourself! I'll be kind! Trust me! - BOY! ARE YOU FAT! - Not to mention gullible, too.
23 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
How about some fine cuisine en boite this evening, my dear? That's French for "food in a can". - KNOCK KNOCK - Good evening, Lori, my dear. Our dinner awaits. - Your steak, madam. pant pant pant - ODIE! GET OUT OF HERE! - rrrrr GIMME THAT! -
24 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Guess what I got at a garage sale today, Garfield? You got my attention. - Tah-dah! - Isn't it great? That diet must've been murder, huh, fella?
25 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I can't believe Jon actually bought that thing. What good is it it? - - MA! COME QUICK! THE COW'S SICK!
26 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hey, mom, guess what I got at a garage sale? - I bought one of those cow skulls like you see in the old westerns. Behind you, Jon! - Hang on, mom, I think I'm about to scream or something.
27 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield, did you know everything evolves from a lower life form? I didn't know that? - Why, of course! It all makes sense now! - Rocks evolved from dogs!
28 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
GARFIELD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! - I'm unraveling your dental floss. - I HATE THAT! Oh, very well, Tomorrow we'll do something you like.
29 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Here you go, Garfield! - CRUNCH! - It doesn't have much of a sense of humor, does it?
30 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- - * - - - -
31 May 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Z - ZZZ-ZZF-ZZZ-ZZ - Must be monday ZZZ-ZZF-ZZZ-ZZF-ZZZ-
1 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
You know, Garfield... - I wouldn't say you're fat, but... - Then don't.
2 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I bought you a surprise today, Garfield! - It's a sweater made especially for you! Wide Load -
3 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
YAWN - - I think the old blanket is due for a wash.
4 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
We cats love to roam around in the dark. - Our keen eyesight allows us to see perfectly in the blackest of... - click I think I'll curl up and die now.
5 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Here's something a little different for dinner tonight, Garfield. - I'm putting you on a high-fiber diet. -
6 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Let me guess. There's another spider in the house. - - ARRRRGH! - GARFIELD! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO LIE NEAR THE DOOR?! - I'M SICK OF TRIPPING OVER YOU! All right! All right! - Why does this always happen to me? - ARRRRGH! - HOW
7 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Normally, I hate alarm clocks. - But this one I like. - It's broken.
8 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- WOOAAH! trip - GARFIELD! Watch where you're going! - Why don't YOU watch where I'm going?
9 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
A spider! - YIPE! - Whew!
10 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Oh, Jon, may I borrow your book for just a moment? - WHAP! - Thank you so much. Anytime.
11 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Tell me, Garfield. - If nature is goverend by survival of the fittest... - HOW COME YOU'RE STILL AROUND?! I stay out of drafts.
12 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Z You're pathetic, Garfield. - What am I going to do with you? - Well, for starters, you could occasionally wake me and remind me to swallow. Help me.
13 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
CRUNCH - YAWN - Z - Z Z - Z PUNT! - Z - Yawn. I had the most wonderful dream last night. - WHUMP!
14 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Yawn-well let's see what kind of day today is... - CRICK CRICK CRICK CRICK CRICK CRICK CRICK CRICK CRICK - It's a nine cricker.
15 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- I could look like this if I wanted to. - But, I don't have enough hands.
16 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hey, Garfield, you're going to be nine years old this friday. Thanks for reminding me. - As cats go, you're approaching the golden years. - The heck with the golden years. I'm five and holding.
17 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
What's the matter, Garfield? Feeling your years now that you're turning nine? - Come closer, my son. I'm having trouble hearing you. - SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!
18 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GARFIELD!! That sure is a lot of candles. - Oh well, I should be happy to have a birthday, I guess. fffff - As opposed to the alternative.
19 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Yup. - I'm nine years old all right. - According to the rings under my eyes.
20 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I hate it when Odie plays by my rules. - Sigh...time to wake up and go to bed. - SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE - - - YAWN - It must have been something I ate.
21 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- POOMP! - BLAT! SQUIRT!
22 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- YEEEOW! I'm hungry. SWIPE - THAt HURT!! I'll say...I think I broke a nail.
23 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
There you go, Garfield. Eat heartly! - Dry cat food and hose water. - Be still, my beating taste hurts.
24 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield, we're out of cat food. How about dog food instead? - Let me put it this way, it's either dog food or nothing. - Arf. I'll get it.
25 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Look, Garfield, I don't care if you think it tastes awful. You'd better eat that because you're not getting anything else! - SPLUT! - Hmmm...he's right. It DOES taste pretty awful.
26 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Do you know how to get a finicky cat to heat his cat food? - Pretend you're going to take it away from him. - It works every time.
27 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
You're going on a diet, Jon! NO! NO! - Z - Z - Z - SNORT. WHA?!! - GARFIELD, I'M TRYING TO SLEEP! WHAT DO YOU WANT? - What every other cat in the world wants from its owner at 3:00 A.M. - My teddy bear!
28 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
FLIP FLIP FLIP FLIP FLIP - Just as I thought, june 29, 1987. - "The World's Longest Monday".
29 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield! You fixed my funny glasses! Yup. - How did you do it? I used glue. - HEY! THEY'RE STUCK TO MY FACE! Gee, Jon, I guess this means I'll never be able to take you seriously again.
30 June 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I'd like to buy some glue solvent. Is this a holdup? - No, you see, my cat glued these glasses to my face. Your cat? - Sounds silly, huh? Not at all...hello, police?
1 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
FLEA SPRAY TO THE RESCUE! - SSSSSSS - Oops, this is my deodorant. Great, I'd hate to think I was offending them.
2 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Look Garfield, I bought you a rubber mouse. What's that for? - You can chase it, toss it in the air, stalk it and pounce on it. Yes? - Oh, forget it. Maybe it plays music or something.
3 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
RAOW! RAOW! RAOW! You know, I wonder what a dog would do with a cat if it ever caught one? - SCREEEE Okay, mutt! You caught me! Now what are you going to do with me?! - Next time I lead, all right?
4 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
No Soliciting Attack Cat On Duty - - Okay, Odie, now for a lesson in home plumbing. - All the water lines in this house are connected. - Thusly, if I turn the hot water on here, there will no longer be hot water in Jon's shower. - Observer. -
5 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
GULP MUNCH GOBBLE SMACK GLUB SLURP SNARF - BURP - And people say dinner conversation is a lost art.
6 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hey, gang, the cat's away! - * ** - That oughta make'm paranoid.
7 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I'm depressed, Garfield, Hang on. I have just the thing. - This should cheer you up. - And, of course, misery loves company.
8 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Pizza is friendy and bananas are funny. - Peaches love to be squeezed and peas occasionally pop in. - I love food with personality.
9 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hehwo, widdle puddy tat! - Is'm widdle puddy tat a nicey wicey puddy tat? - Excuse me while nicey wicey puddy tat takes a barfy warfy in the grassy wassy.
10 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Bye-bye, puddy tat. - The next person to talk baby talk to me gets his clock cleaned. - Why, hehwo widdle puddy tat!
11 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Odie washes and I dry. - Sigh. - - - PANT PANT PANT SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH PANT -
12 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Remember to look both ways before crossing the street, Odie. - SCREEE - The point, of course, being to see if there are any cars coming.
13 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Are you ready for the opera, Steven? - click - Why did you change the program? La-la-laaah. It wasn't insulting to my intelligence any more.
14 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
* - ROWR! - Garfield's sick this morning, he asked me to fill in for him.
15 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
LEAVE THAT FERN ALONE! DO YOU HEAR ME?! - Good heavens, you really ARE listening to me. Could it be you're starting to respect me? - Let's see you make that little thing that hangs down in the back of your throat dance around again!
16 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I saw this science fiction movie last night about vegetables who imitated other life-forms. - I turned it off... - I watch TV to escape.
17 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hey, Garfield. Wanna go running this morning? You've got to be kidding. - Hard breathing can cause brain damage. - pant pant pant I rest my case.
18 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- This could be any refrigerator, maybe yours. - Deep within the frozen wastes it lurks. - Ancient mayonnaise, fossilized cabbage, slowly mutating over untold eons, gradually achieving consciousness... - Until that terrible day when it is
19 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Ah, a nice sumptuous meal all alone... - And Garfield nowhere in sight. - And that worries me.
20 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I'm going to let you decide what to do today, Pooky... - poomp - Not much for talk, but, what an idea man!
21 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
You'd lose some weight if you'd exercise, Garfield. - - Maybe if I breathed a little deeper.
22 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I'm bored...I hate boredom. - Hurry, Garfield! A quilting bee special is comoing on the television! - And then some people revel in it.
23 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Cats can stop in an instant. - - Provided that instant isn't on a throw rug.
24 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I can understand why you watch TV to escape, Garfield, You have so mucht to escape... - The 12 hour naps, the free room and board, the nonstop snacking. - The srcasm, Jon. You forgot the endless sarcasm.
25 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
My zest for life must be a quart low. - Ladies and gentlemen, Garfield and his trained dog will now perform for you. - Do a back flip, Odie. - Beg, Odie. - Roll over, Odie. - GARFIELD! DINNER! - Burp, boy, great dinner. - Now where's Odie?
26 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Let's go fishing, Garfield. - Well, what do you think? I think you're right. - Fish paralyzed by hysterical fits of laughter probably ARE easier to catch.
27 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Got my equipment, got my flies. Let's go fishing! - Hang on, Garfield! - My body is hooked to the drapes. - This is going to be a long day.
28 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Poor little worms, waiting to be skewered on Jon's hook and then fed to some vicious fish. Well it's not right! - YOU'RE FREE! YOU'RE FREE! - Swimming must not be one of their strong suits.
29 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Remember, Garfield, the key to fishing is patience., the ability to remain motionless for hours. - Garfield? Z That's my boy.
30 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Well, Garfield, what do you think of fishing so far? - I like it? - Where else can you take a three-hor nap and call it sport?
31 July 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Catch anything, boys? - Yeah, but we threw 'em back. - They were in danger of being eaten by the bait.
1 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- Hello, plants. Oh no! Shoo! Scat! - Well, let's see what's on the menu today. Mrs Brown! There's a cat out here! - I think I'll start with a salad. NOOO! RUN, HAROLD! RUN! - GLOMP HAROOLD! WE GOT HAROLD! - burp Oh, Ralph! What will we do?!
2 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Let's go for a walk, Garfield. It's good exercise. - Even a short walk is better than no walk at all. You're right. - Start with the kitchen and back.
3 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I am an artist. - SCHOONK! - I eat what I see.
4 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
tap tap tap - Well, well, well, and just how did you get in there? - Would you believe hours and hours of careful planning?
5 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Get up, Garfield, Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, you know. - You're quite right, Jon. I couldn't agree with you more. - Now, be a good boy and bring it back at noon.
6 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
You know, Garfield, life is like a bowl of cherries. - - Let down your guard, and I'll get you. You're going to pay for this one.
7 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hey, Garfield, they're developing computers with artificial intelligence. Big deal. - - I'll be impressed when they invent artificial cunning.
8 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
CLICK! - - CLICK! - FLIP NNNNNG - UNNNGH WHAP! - SHOOP! FLOP! - SNAP! WHIP! BAP! - No wonder. This is the garage door opener.
9 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Ahhh! Coffee. NO! NO! DON'T DRINK IT, JON! - SHOOP! ARRRGH! IT'S TOO LATE. - Z THAT COFFEE WAS DECAFFEINATED, YOU FOOL!
10 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- - What does one have to do to get one's belly scratched around here?
11 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
There's only one way to get rid of a free-floating guilt complex. - Do something to deserve it.
12 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
We humans are lucky, Garfield. We can sing and play instruments. - You cat have no way of showing your appreciation for music. Oh, but I do. - I sold your piano.
13 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Have the last cookie, Garfield. I really couldn't. You take it. - Okay. - You twit! Don't you know insincere sincerity when you hear it?
14 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Uh-oh, it looks as though Mr. Cliche is about to unburden himself of another stale platitude. - "He who fills his pockets with the rocks of misdeeds will surely sink in the river of good fortune". - That boy wasn't born, he was found in a
15 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- Is this seat taken? Not at all. - Wow! That's a big cat! He didn't look that big from the front of the bus 'cause things look smaller from far away. - You, if he had a mane he'd look like a lion, but, then they'd make him get off at the
16 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- -
17 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I had an uncle who used to play with yarn... - He's now a pattern in an angora sweater. - You're just saying that to ruin my fun, aren't you? Can you afford to take a chance?
18 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
You've got a pretty good thing going here, don't you? Yup. - Jon feeds me, strokes me, changes my kitty litter and caters to my whims. So what does HE get out of it? - He gets to call himself "Master".
19 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
With each new day, a cat's curiosity must be satisfied anew. - KICK - Yup, the law of gravity is still in effect.
20 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Dear Hair Ball Cat Food Co., I find your cat food gives my cat a "long silky coat of hair" as advertised... - However, I think you should add a disclaimer. - "Do not feed your cat more than 36 cans a day."
21 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
You're wasting your life away, Garfield. You should be out there...uh... - Out there doing whatever it is cats do. - That's what I like about being a cat. Our standards are low.
22 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Up next, "Pasta Parade," followed by "World of Waffles". I love this all-food channel. - I ask you...what more to life could there possibly be? - Decisions, decisions... - Should I eat first and then sleep or sleep first and then eat? -
23 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Stupid pet door! - UI thought Jon fixed it! - Unnngh!
24 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Jon, remember when you thought it was a great idea to put the pet door in? - And how Odir and I could come and go as we pleased? - You goofed again.
25 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
About your weight, Garfield. - You're getting a bit large for your pet door. - Do tell.
26 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
PURRR - How nice! Are you rubbing against my neck to tell me how much you love me? - Or to tell me, if I don't feed you'll rip off my face? Bingo!
27 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
...and I was wondering if you'd go out with me tonight? - You say you'd rather go out with camel spittle? Zap her back! Zap her back! - "But what if your brother already has plans?" That's what I should have said! Ol' Lighning Wit strikes
28 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
WHIRRRRRRR - WHIRRRRRR - WHIRRRRRR I love driving Odie up the wall.
29 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- - - - YANK WHIRRRR - WHIRRRR - -
30 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
There's one thing I can count on from Garfield. - Nice drapes, Arbuckle. It would be a shame if someone else slashed 'em into party streamers. - Protection.
31 August 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I wonder how Garfield would handle an emergency? Z - FIRE! - I guess I shouldn't be surprised.
1 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hurry, Garfield! Get to the car! - Quick! Lock the doors! Roll up the windows! - They'rfe probably watching the house right now. We'll have to move out of state! He used an expired coupon.
2 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Ah, it's so nice to own a cat. - Own? Nobody OWNS a cat. - But you may think of me as a longterm loan.
3 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Leave that station on, Garfield. It's "Hamlet". - To be or not to be. CLICK! - Hey! What are you doing?! Solving an existential dilemma with modern technology.
4 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I feel like letting my better nature show through today. - PUNT! - My worse nature is not a pretty sight.
5 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Why is it the phone only rings when I'm in the bath? Relax, one call a week isn't that bad. - BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP - That's right, Beverly, I will not go out with you tonight. - Yes, I know you're madly in love with me, but I have better
6 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Ah-ah-AH - CHOO - Bless you.
7 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Let's hear it for sleep! - Gimme a "Z"! - Z
8 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Just look at the smile on Garfield's face. Z - He must be having a great dream. Z - Z Z
9 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
P-thb-thb-thb-thb! - PTHB THB -
10 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Look, Odie! I can touch my nose with my tongue! - Can you do that? -
11 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Sleep is wonderful. - What would people be without sleep? - Real tired, probably.
12 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Jon, is this one of those cult films? - One, two! One, two! One, two! - Hey, Garfield, I've noticed you're pretty out of shape. Nonsense, I watch 30 minutes of Aerobics a day. - So I bought you these jogging shoes! I hope you kept the
13 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- -
14 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Surprise, Garfield! Won't this be fun to play in? - Take it back. - There's no elevator.
15 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Odie is very special. - He was bred to be a working dog. - Specifically, a paperweight or a doorstop.
16 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield, you've lost weight! - I don't believe it! -
17 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield, you eat too much junk food. Eat something good for you. - - Zap...you're a carrot stick.
18 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Great chefs know it's the appearance of food that counts. - GUP! - But, great eaters know it's the amount of food that counts.
19 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
No, please don't do it. In the name of humanity!! - - - - WHUMP! - Haw! Haw! Haw! Haw! - ZIP! - WHUMP! - Haw! Haw! Haw! - Reba! Come here and look at this, but you'd better cinch up your corset first!
20 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- Are you ever seriuos, Garfield? I guess not. - It's hard to be serious when you're naked!
21 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
YAWN - Yawn...boredom is contagious. - - OH, NO! SO'S STUPIDITY.
22 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Send To: ACME Lasagna Factory - - Not enough postage, Garfield. Rats.
23 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Get ready to have some major youcks, you guys. - SMILE MOUTHS! - Hee hee! I'll keep him laughing while you get the authorities.
24 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield, what's the matter? - JON! YOU GOTTA CLEAN OUT THE REFRIGERATOR! - Whatever it is, it can't be that bad, old buddy. The tuna is spawning in the tomato soup!
25 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Watching the paint dry, Garfield? - I hope he doesn't think that my life is so totally devoid of excitement that I am reduced to that. - I'm waiting for it to peel.
26 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- A hungry vulture perches above his prey, silently, patiently, waiting for his meal to draw its last breath. - CLICK - - CLICK STOP THAT! YOU KNOW I HATE THAT! - NO MORE VULTURES! No more vultures. - Z A voracious alligator stealthily glides
27 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Nothing is showing up on the computer radar so I'll put a nice "Mr. Sunshine" right here. - But, satellite photos show an approaching low-pressure area, so I'll put mean ol' "Mr. Thunderstorm" and his lighning bolt right here. - LOOK OUT, MR.
28 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Let's check the weather. - Hmmm. Looks like a good day to stay in in bed. - Mostly boring this morning with a 50% chance of intermittent depression this afternoon.
29 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Depression is waking up with the uneasy feeling the world is out to get you. - ZOW - And finding out you're right.
30 September 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Being depressed is bad enough. Now Jon will probably try to cheer me up with stupid platitudes. - You're depressing, Garfield. And you're fat and lazy too. - Then again, even stupid platitudes have their good points.
1 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Cheep up, Garfield. Just remember that life is just a game. - It's not whether you win or lose, but how you play that counts. - So, what are you going to do today? Forfeit.
2 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I hate those little insert cards. - SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE - Just as I suspected.
3 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Can we be of assistance? * - That stupid dog next door is in for a BIG surprise. - When he comes by, he will mistake the mirror for me. - Then he will attack and fall into this pit. - Then this net will fall on him. - Then this cement mixer
4 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Do you always insult the people you weigh? Yes. It's a defense mechanism. - Insults compensate for my own depressions, my insecurities, my loathing for this job and my lot in life. - I'm sorry to hear that. Thanks, blubber bottom.
5 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- -
6 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Can we take a 50-mile hike today, Jon? - Huh? Can we? Can we? Can we? boing boing - You're drinking too much coffee, Garfield. Or a swim. What if we swim to Tahiti?
7 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
RATS! I GIVE UP! - I'm just no good with plants. - And these were the plastic ones.
8 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I told the woman at the flower shop I was tired of you eating my plants. - She said you wouldn't harm this one. - But, I doubt it.
9 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
How much do I weigh today, RX-2? - You weigh somewhere between seven and thirty-two pounds. - I have learned it is wise to give my customers a wide selection.
10 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Like the sandwich I made for you, Odie? - Hey, Garfield! Come out here! - Watch me blow this bubble. You're going to get a bang out of it. - FUH-FUH-FUH-FUH - BANG - You're right. That was fun. - HERE! YOU CHEW THE GUM THIS TIME! - That's it,
11 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hmm, my horoscope says I'm going to be visited by an old acquaintance today. - SPLUT - Uncanny.
12 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Ha! Missed me! - SPLUT! - Whoaa...boomerang spluts.
13 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- - SPLUT!
14 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
SPLUT - CLANK! - They must be running out of ammo!
15 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Gourmands know their utensils. This is the table-spoon, the teaspoon, the soupspoon, the sugar spoon. - And my personal favorite... - Theplay spoon! toing SPLUT!
16 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfoield, why do you always spit the cherry pits out onto the table? - - I like a little floor show after dinner.
17 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
One of these days, Arlene! One of these days...POW! To the moon! - - OH-NO! SOMEONE ATE MY DINNER! - AHA! FAT MICE! - You guys wouldn't know what happened to my dinner, would you? Oh, sure! Blame us. - It's always the mice's fault, right men?
18 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
YAWN Ahh...there's nothing like a good nap. - - With the possible exception of TWO good naps.
19 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
The coffee's strong today. - SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP - Not only strong, but mean!
20 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Food! How do I love thee? Let me count the ways... - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... - Aren't you going to eat, Garfield? 5,743, 5,744...
21 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Z - GARFIELD! - Fall asleep in your food again? Don't ask stupid questions. Just ge the chisel.
22 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- - Sigh.
23 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
In the morning, there's nothing more I enjoy than a good cup of coffee. - - As I was saying...
24 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
That's not what I meant by "drop anchor", little buddy. - First things first, let's talk about me. - You see, Renee, I'm a pretty mature, suave kinda guy. - Are these yours? - Heh, het. Well...uh. They have teddy bears all over them. - What's
25 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
This honey has lots of options like windshield wipers and a horn. - You mean things like windshield wipers and a horn are options? - No offense, pal, but in your price range, the TIRES are optional.
26 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
This car's a real steal at $ 1,900. - It has twice the luggage space of any other car in its class. - Where's the back seat? Oh, no! I'll notify the authorities.
27 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Don't go away, folks, I'll be right back. - Honest Ed seems nice enough, Garfield, but there's something about him I don't trust. - Maybe it's the fact his office is in a pickup truck with the engine running.
28 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Nice doin' business with you. And, remember, at Honest Ed's, we stand beside every car we sell. - Don't you mean you stand "behind" every car you sell? - Not with the mechanics I've got working for me! VAROOM! CRASH
29 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Cute, Garfield, Tell me the future. - You are about to become upset with your cat. - Hey, wait a minute! Where's my goldfish? It was (burp) here a minute ago.
30 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
grrr yip CUT IT OUT, YOU TWO! - IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY OUT THERE! DOESN'T THAT GIVE YOU ANY IDEAS? - ffft! bark! yip!
31 October 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Honestly, Garfield, I forgot that it was decaffeinated. rrrrr - - KNEAD KNEAD KNEAD - Z Z - Oh, no!! My guilt! - Oh, well,,,I suppose I shouldn't yeall at him... - He's just doing what comes naturally for a ca- - - GARFIELD!
1 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Is that today's mail, Garfield? Yo. - Here are your personal letters, bills and catalogs. - And "Instant Millionaire" giveaways.
2 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
You're lazy, Garfield. You just don't understand, do you, Jon? - In the grand scheme of things, each of us has our little niche to fill. - Through with our rationalization, are we? It's my niche time.
3 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Mornin' hon. The usual? You got it, Irma. - - Say, hon. What IS the usual? I was hoping you'd know. These people are in desperate trouble.
4 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Try this new health food for cats, Garfield. It has extra fiber. - BLUT - Just as I suspected.
5 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Wake up, Garfield. I can't move. My battery is dead. - - Sniff...hang on! I think I smell a jump start coming my way!
6 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hey, Garfield, I looked up the word "lazy" in the dictionary and they had your picture by it. - That's a lie. - I slept through the appointment for the photo session.
7 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
You awake yet? - The wild house cat spies his unsuspecting prey. - Potato chips! - Why do they make these bags so hard to open? - EERRRGGHH - NNGGNNFF SQUEEZE - KA-BLAM! - GARFIELD! WHAT HAPPENED? They oughta put warnings on those bags!
8 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Cats have just surpassed dogs as the country's favorite pets! - - Somehow the victory would have been more satisfying had the competition been stiffer.
9 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Sometimes I think I'm slowing down. - GARFIELD! DINNER! CHOOM! - But, there's still a little life left in the ol' afterburners.
10 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield, you're never going to lose weight eating between the meals. There's only one thing to do. - Do you know the meaning of "willpower"? - I don't know the meaning of "between meals".
11 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Look, Odie, Jon's sleeping. Z - Mybe we should be quiet and let him rest. Z - Or we can shave his head. Z
12 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Hey, Garfield, I have a new cat food for you. - Come on, give it a try. It's not that bad. I don't know, Jon. - Something tells me it isn't that good.
13 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Life is filled with opportunities. - shake shake shake shake - PSSSSH! If you know where to look for them.
14 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Let's just say, talking during the movie is a pet peeve of mine. - Z - Garfield, you must be the slowest, laziest thing on the face of the earth. On the contrary. - I'm not slow at everything I do. - I'm the fastest eater I know. GOOSH! - I
15 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I've really got to stop this overeating. - - How about that? I didn't think I could do it.
16 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
DINNER IS... - WHOMP! - snerved.
17 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
What's the matter, Garfield? Don't you feel good? That's an understatement. - Do you think it was something you ate? No... - WHANG!! It was something YOU fed me!
18 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
It says this cat food is "fit for a king". - - The "king's" food taster.
19 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I, the Caped Avenger, shall seek out injustice wherever it may lurk... - And with one swift motion of my mighty hand, I will go... - Naughty, naughty, naughty!
20 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
What's that number on your back for, Garfield? - It's mandatory attire for my new hobby. - Marathon sleeping.
21 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Oops! I think I've made a tiny mistake! - CRASH! - Boy, am I in a rotten mood. - Out of my way, brie breath! PUNT! - Hey, you! You can't do that or I'll tell my sister, Loretta! Loreatta? - She'll pound you flat! Bring her on. A good fight
22 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
YAWN ** - splash splash * - You know it's monday when you wake up and find six crickets doing a water ballet in your bowl. ***
23 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
munch munch munch - Don't you think you've eaten enough watermelon, Garfield? Why, no. - Why do you ask? ptoo!
24 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- -
25 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
kick! - I'm sorry Garfield. I didn't see you sitting... - there.
26 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Z - - N
27 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield, why are you so vain? - - In my case, modesty would be unseemly in a cat of such breeding. Where did I go wrong?
28 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Odie's never around when I need a fall guy. - Hmmm. - Hey, Jon, look what I can do with this grape. - poo! - GUNK! Oh, yeah? Watch this! - I'm not impressed. - WATCH THIS! OH YEAH? WATCH THIS! - Veterinary clinic What the... Don't ask.
29 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield, you've been drinking too much coffee lately. There's no such thing as too much coffee. - I'm worried about you. Okay, okay! I'll cut down! - Just give me half a cup.
30 November 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- - Now, THAT'S good coffee!
1 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
- Too much coffee, Garfield? - yupyupyup
2 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I made my world famous coffee this morning, Garfield. - Come on...it's not that bad! Have some! Oh, all right. - But just a small slice.
3 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Sorry, Garfield, but we're out of coffee this morning. I noticed. - I guess we'll just have to go without. That's what YOU think. - What are you doing? Sucking on a used coffee filter.
4 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
MEOWYRRRRR - MEOWYRR...MEOWYRRR GARFIELD! What are you doing?!! - My agent couldn't get me a booking on the fence. tap tap tap
5 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I feel awful, but I don't think it could be anything that I ate. - - Hee, hee, hee. - Hey, Garfield, remember thet time I was drinking root beer and you made that funny face. - And I snorted the root beer right out my nose? - And I got all
6 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Whoops! The ol' claw's hooked a carpet thread. - UNNNGGGHHH!!! - ...a LONG carpet thread.
7 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Food is a dichotomy. - Fat people hate to love it. - And skinny people love to hate it.
8 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Thare's nothing worse than being bored. - Hey, there, Mr. Droopy face. Let me entertain you! - Hotcha! Hotcha! I take that back.
9 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Cats are poetry in motion. - trip SPLAT! - Dogs are gibberish in neutral.
10 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Ho-boy, I ate too much again. - WAH-HA-HA-HA! - Oh, Garfield, you're a riot!
11 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Who's the sexiest cat you know, Arlene? Hmmm... - Let's see... - One thing about Arlene, she doesn't make snap judgments. Hmmm.
12 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Championship wrestlers and I have one training ritual in common, power eating. - - SLURP - - screee - - screee SLAM! Odie? - Odie? - SLURP
13 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Here's a story about a cat who travelled 200 miles to find his owner. - Can you imagine YOU doing that, Garfield? - HA! HA! HA! I would send a postcard.
14 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
It says here that many artists starve themselves in the service of their craft. - GLUCK - A starving glutton...I like that.
15 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Sigh...a cat's work is never done. - What are you doing, Garfield? PLOP! - A cat's work.
16 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
SLAM! - In case you're wondering where I've been and what I've bought, that's none of your business. - I love the Christmas season.
17 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
OUCH! pshhh - Hey, this isn't shaving cream! - And this isn't tree flocking.
18 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I swear, Garfield. - You get more excited about Christmas than any child I know! - I DO NOT!
19 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Are you sure this is all you want for Christmas, Garfield?! - - - - This is a decoration, not a snack, comprendo? - * - -
20 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
The one thing I hate about the Christmas season is addressing all these cards. - I believe I have a way to cut your work in half. - Address this one to dad AND mom.
21 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Uh- - -oh... - AAAARRRGGHHH!!! SLURP! SLURP! SLURP!
22 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Garfield, I know you're excited about Christmas. - And I know it's only natural to be curious about what's inside your presents. - BUT PUT THAT METAL DETECTOR AWAY!
23 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I'd better be careful with my gift. It might be a fine bone china food dish. - Oh. - This one's for Odie. CRASH!
24 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Well, boys, that was a wonderful Christmas. It's not over yet. - For me?! How sweet?! - A hairball? I made it myself.
25 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Christmas can't be over yet! I can't have unwrapped all my presents already!! - I gotta unwrap something else!! - More! More!
26 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
I wonder what that is? - Up and at 'em, boys! It's a bright new day! - Let's plan the day, boys. Here we go again. - First item of business: the Christmas tree. Let's leave it up a while longer. - Translation! "Let's leave the tree there till
27 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
HAAAACK! - poing - Boy, talk about your hairballs!...
28 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
This year I pledge to lose weight and get in shape! - No, no, be realistic, Garfield, That's a bit much to bite off. Perhaps I should set a bit more realistic goal. - I pledge to establish contact with aliens from another planet!
29 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Well. it's time to take stock of the year. - Let's see...I ate and slept and accomplished not one single thing of socially redeeming value. - I'm so proud of me.
30 December 1987

		» 1 January 1987 »
Let's see. This year I've eaten 2,190 snacks and taken 1,822 naps. - Oh, no! According to my figures I missed a nap in april and two in july! - Uh...Garfield? QUIET, MAN! I HAVE SOME SERIOUS CATCHING UP TO DO!
31 December 1987

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