Being depressed is bad enough. Now Jon will probably try to cheer me up with stupid platitudes. - You're depressing, Garfield. And you're fat and lazy too. - Then again, even stupid platitudes have their good points.
1 October 1987
Cheep up, Garfield. Just remember that life is just a game. - It's not whether you win or lose, but how you play that counts. - So, what are you going to do today? Forfeit.
2 October 1987
I hate those little insert cards. - SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE - Just as I suspected.
3 October 1987
Can we be of assistance? * - That stupid dog next door is in for a BIG surprise. - When he comes by, he will mistake the mirror for me. - Then he will attack and fall into this pit. - Then this net will fall on him. - Then this cement mixer
4 October 1987
Do you always insult the people you weigh? Yes. It's a defense mechanism. - Insults compensate for my own depressions, my insecurities, my loathing for this job and my lot in life. - I'm sorry to hear that. Thanks, blubber bottom.
5 October 1987
6 October 1987
Can we take a 50-mile hike today, Jon? - Huh? Can we? Can we? Can we? boing boing - You're drinking too much coffee, Garfield. Or a swim. What if we swim to Tahiti?
7 October 1987
RATS! I GIVE UP! - I'm just no good with plants. - And these were the plastic ones.
8 October 1987
I told the woman at the flower shop I was tired of you eating my plants. - She said you wouldn't harm this one. - But, I doubt it.
9 October 1987
How much do I weigh today, RX-2? - You weigh somewhere between seven and thirty-two pounds. - I have learned it is wise to give my customers a wide selection.
10 October 1987
Like the sandwich I made for you, Odie? - Hey, Garfield! Come out here! - Watch me blow this bubble. You're going to get a bang out of it. - FUH-FUH-FUH-FUH - BANG - You're right. That was fun. - HERE! YOU CHEW THE GUM THIS TIME! - That's it,
11 October 1987
Hmm, my horoscope says I'm going to be visited by an old acquaintance today. - SPLUT - Uncanny.
12 October 1987
Ha! Missed me! - SPLUT! - Whoaa...boomerang spluts.
13 October 1987
- - SPLUT!
14 October 1987
SPLUT - CLANK! - They must be running out of ammo!
15 October 1987
Gourmands know their utensils. This is the table-spoon, the teaspoon, the soupspoon, the sugar spoon. - And my personal favorite... - Theplay spoon! toing SPLUT!
16 October 1987
Garfoield, why do you always spit the cherry pits out onto the table? - - I like a little floor show after dinner.
17 October 1987
One of these days, Arlene! One of these days...POW! To the moon! - - OH-NO! SOMEONE ATE MY DINNER! - AHA! FAT MICE! - You guys wouldn't know what happened to my dinner, would you? Oh, sure! Blame us. - It's always the mice's fault, right men?
18 October 1987
YAWN Ahh...there's nothing like a good nap. - - With the possible exception of TWO good naps.
19 October 1987
The coffee's strong today. - SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP - Not only strong, but mean!
20 October 1987
Food! How do I love thee? Let me count the ways... - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... - Aren't you going to eat, Garfield? 5,743, 5,744...
21 October 1987
Z - GARFIELD! - Fall asleep in your food again? Don't ask stupid questions. Just ge the chisel.
22 October 1987
- - Sigh.
23 October 1987
In the morning, there's nothing more I enjoy than a good cup of coffee. - - As I was saying...
24 October 1987
That's not what I meant by "drop anchor", little buddy. - First things first, let's talk about me. - You see, Renee, I'm a pretty mature, suave kinda guy. - Are these yours? - Heh, het. Well...uh. They have teddy bears all over them. - What's
25 October 1987
This honey has lots of options like windshield wipers and a horn. - You mean things like windshield wipers and a horn are options? - No offense, pal, but in your price range, the TIRES are optional.
26 October 1987
This car's a real steal at $ 1,900. - It has twice the luggage space of any other car in its class. - Where's the back seat? Oh, no! I'll notify the authorities.
27 October 1987
Don't go away, folks, I'll be right back. - Honest Ed seems nice enough, Garfield, but there's something about him I don't trust. - Maybe it's the fact his office is in a pickup truck with the engine running.
28 October 1987
Nice doin' business with you. And, remember, at Honest Ed's, we stand beside every car we sell. - Don't you mean you stand "behind" every car you sell? - Not with the mechanics I've got working for me! VAROOM! CRASH
29 October 1987
Cute, Garfield, Tell me the future. - You are about to become upset with your cat. - Hey, wait a minute! Where's my goldfish? It was (burp) here a minute ago.
30 October 1987
grrr yip CUT IT OUT, YOU TWO! - IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY OUT THERE! DOESN'T THAT GIVE YOU ANY IDEAS? - ffft! bark! yip!
31 October 1987