Being depressed is bad enough. Now Jon will probably try to cheer me up with stupid platitudes. You're depressing, Garfield. And you're fat and lazy too. Then again, even stupid platitudes have their good points.
1 October 1987
Cheep up, Garfield. Just remember that life is just a game. It's not whether you win or lose, but how you play that counts. So, what are you going to do today? Forfeit.
2 October 1987
I hate those little insert cards. SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE Just as I suspected.
3 October 1987
Can we be of assistance? * That stupid dog next door is in for a BIG surprise. When he comes by, he will mistake the mirror for me. Then he will attack and fall into this pit. Then this net will fall on him. Then this cement mixerwill tip, sealing that su
4 October 1987
Do you always insult the people you weigh? Yes. It's a defense mechanism. Insults compensate for my own depressions, my insecurities, my loathing for this job and my lot in life. I'm sorry to hear that. Thanks, blubber bottom.
5 October 1987
6 October 1987
Can we take a 50-mile hike today, Jon? Huh? Can we? Can we? Can we? boing boing You're drinking too much coffee, Garfield. Or a swim. What if we swim to Tahiti?
7 October 1987
RATS! I GIVE UP! I'm just no good with plants. And these were the plastic ones.
8 October 1987
I told the woman at the flower shop I was tired of you eating my plants. She said you wouldn't harm this one. But, I doubt it.
9 October 1987
How much do I weigh today, RX-2? You weigh somewhere between seven and thirty-two pounds. I have learned it is wise to give my customers a wide selection.
10 October 1987
Like the sandwich I made for you, Odie? Hey, Garfield! Come out here! Watch me blow this bubble. You're going to get a bang out of it. FUH-FUH-FUH-FUH BANG You're right. That was fun. HERE! YOU CHEW THE GUM THIS TIME! That's it,fella. Blow it big. fuh-fuh
11 October 1987
Hmm, my horoscope says I'm going to be visited by an old acquaintance today. SPLUT Uncanny.
12 October 1987
Ha! Missed me! SPLUT! Whoaa...boomerang spluts.
13 October 1987
14 October 1987
SPLUT CLANK! They must be running out of ammo!
15 October 1987
Gourmands know their utensils. This is the table-spoon, the teaspoon, the soupspoon, the sugar spoon. And my personal favorite... Theplay spoon! toing SPLUT!
16 October 1987
Garfoield, why do you always spit the cherry pits out onto the table? I like a little floor show after dinner.
17 October 1987
One of these days, Arlene! One of these days...POW! To the moon! OH-NO! SOMEONE ATE MY DINNER! AHA! FAT MICE! You guys wouldn't know what happened to my dinner, would you? Oh, sure! Blame us. It's always the mice's fault, right men?Not even a fair trial.
18 October 1987
YAWN Ahh...there's nothing like a good nap. With the possible exception of TWO good naps.
19 October 1987
The coffee's strong today. SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP Not only strong, but mean!
20 October 1987
Food! How do I love thee? Let me count the ways... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... Aren't you going to eat, Garfield? 5,743, 5,744...
21 October 1987
Z GARFIELD! Fall asleep in your food again? Don't ask stupid questions. Just ge the chisel.
22 October 1987
23 October 1987
In the morning, there's nothing more I enjoy than a good cup of coffee. As I was saying...
24 October 1987
That's not what I meant by "drop anchor", little buddy. First things first, let's talk about me. You see, Renee, I'm a pretty mature, suave kinda guy. Are these yours? Heh, het. Well...uh. They have teddy bears all over them. What'sthis? A certi
25 October 1987
This honey has lots of options like windshield wipers and a horn. You mean things like windshield wipers and a horn are options? No offense, pal, but in your price range, the TIRES are optional.
26 October 1987
This car's a real steal at $ 1,900. It has twice the luggage space of any other car in its class. Where's the back seat? Oh, no! I'll notify the authorities.
27 October 1987
Don't go away, folks, I'll be right back. Honest Ed seems nice enough, Garfield, but there's something about him I don't trust. Maybe it's the fact his office is in a pickup truck with the engine running.
28 October 1987
Nice doin' business with you. And, remember, at Honest Ed's, we stand beside every car we sell. Don't you mean you stand "behind" every car you sell? Not with the mechanics I've got working for me! VAROOM! CRASH
29 October 1987
Cute, Garfield, Tell me the future. You are about to become upset with your cat. Hey, wait a minute! Where's my goldfish? It was (burp) here a minute ago.
30 October 1987
grrr yip CUT IT OUT, YOU TWO! IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY OUT THERE! DOESN'T THAT GIVE YOU ANY IDEAS? ffft! bark! yip!
31 October 1987