Garfield, do you like sweety bird? He's right up there with dogs and mondays. You wouldn't intend him any harm, would you? I don't know what you're talking about. Then why is he covered with clam sauce? An old family recipe.
1 April 1987
SQWAWK! HONK! Did we remember how to open the bird cage? Not only that, we forgot birds could fly.
2 April 1987
Hey, bird! You think you're safe out there, huh? Well, I have a little treat for you! Have you, perchance, ever heard a cat scream?
3 April 1987
Hey, Garfield! What are you doing out there? And look! Sweety bird's on your head! WHERE'S MY CAMERA? I loathe life.
4 April 1987
You know, Garfield, sharing is one of life's greates pleasures. GULP! I love giving people pleasure.
5 April 1987
Hurry, Garfield, the TV workout show is about to start! You promised you''d try it. So let's go. Okay, but first answer me this... Just how the heck am I supposed to move?
6 April 1987
GARFIELD! YOU SHREDDED MY RUNNING SHOES! Someday you'll thank me for that, Jon. Jogging's the disease. I'm the cure.
7 April 1987
Okay, stand up straight and put your hands on your hips. Those of you too fat to find your hips, just give it your best guess. I hate sarcastic fitness instructors.
8 April 1987
Now for jumping jacks on the two count. ONE! CRASH! Oh, by the way, before we get to two, don't try this exercise on a recently polished floor. NOW he tells me.
9 April 1987
That's good, everybody. Push up! ...and down! ...and up!... I was built for push-ups.
10 April 1987
No, seriously, Linda, I'm a fun guy. I do great impressions! You do impressions too? Let's hear one. Listen to this, Garfield, She sounds like a dial tone! This man has no brain.
11 April 1987
The lone gourmet strikes again. TAP! TAP! YAWN You go out and play, Pooky. ZIP! WHAT tHE...? HEY, WAIT A MINUTE! I'M NAILED TO MY BED! WHA?!! I suppose this was for putting the lizard in your shoe? Now we're even.
12 April 1987
You're a slob, Garfield, Why can't you stay as clean as other cats? You're supposed to wash yourself like this. Oh, very well. Start with this arm and make it snappy. You have a lot of territory to cover.
13 April 1987
See anything you like?
14 April 1987
Do you know what I hate most about this bed? UNNNGH! Trying to sleep on my back.
15 April 1987
It's time to get up. CREAK! CRACK! It's also time to go on and diet.
16 April 1987
OH, NO! YOU CHEWED UP MY NEWSPAPER AGAIN! Hey! This isn't the paper I get. It must belong to a neighbor. KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! A 250 lb. neighbor, to be precise.
17 April 1987
Thin ice > SPLOOSH! Hexy! THIS ice isn't thin! Neither are you.
18 April 1987
I hate 3-D movies. Here, Odie! Here, boy! I'll throw the bone and you fetch it, okay, boy? Arf! There it goes! Odie just fell for the oldest trick in the book. ZIP! WHUMP Now what kind of dog would have a bone that big? Oh, THATkind of dog.
19 April 1987
This is a perfect day to stay in bed and contemplate life's truths. Yip! Yip! BRINNNG! GET UP, GARFIELD! Truths like: "mondays stink".
20 April 1987
Life has many good things to offer: music, art, literature... Sometimes I think about educating myself on those subjects... But then I tihnk, "stick with what you know".
21 April 1987
How did you get to be so lazy, Garfield? Brains, hard work, tenacity and dedication. You're not just born lazy, you know. It's an acquired skill... I'm sorry I asked. ...an art form if you will, not unlike poetry, dance or music.
22 April 1987
Here comes the mailman, Garfield. I want you to be on your best behavior. ROWRR! I must admit, that was one of my better behaviors.
23 April 1987
I ate too much. I'll probably get another sermon from Jon. Garfield, you eat too much. I was hoping you wouldn't notice.
24 April 1987
screeee And just what are you doing? SWIPE! Your turn. YOU GOTTA JUSTIFY EVERYTHING, DON'T YOU?!
25 April 1987
Where did you find the brain, Nermal...at a garage sale?! Rats...bees. Buzz off, bees. This is my territory. Z?! The old "big bee" routine works every time. ZZZZZ ZZZZZZ
26 April 1987
It was high noon when the stranger rode into town. Now comes my favorite part... He hitched up his horse and ambled into the saloon.
27 April 1987
I am hungry. Therefore I am. Rationalizing another bout with gluttony, Garfield. I don't discuss philosophy with pea brains.
28 April 1987
Now I lay me down to sleep... Hold that thought... I think I heard Garfield open the refrigerator door.
29 April 1987
JON! JON! WAKE UP! IT'S HORRIBLE! IT'S AWFUL! YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHING! WHA tIS IT, GARFIELD?! IS THE HOUSE ON FIRE?! IS THERE A BURGLAR?! WORSE!!! I have hunger pangs!
30 April 1987