Garfield, do you like sweety bird? He's right up there with dogs and mondays. - You wouldn't intend him any harm, would you? I don't know what you're talking about. - Then why is he covered with clam sauce? An old family recipe.
1 April 1987
SQWAWK! - HONK! - Did we remember how to open the bird cage? Not only that, we forgot birds could fly.
2 April 1987
Hey, bird! You think you're safe out there, huh? - Well, I have a little treat for you! - Have you, perchance, ever heard a cat scream?
3 April 1987
Hey, Garfield! What are you doing out there? - And look! Sweety bird's on your head! - WHERE'S MY CAMERA? I loathe life.
4 April 1987
- - - - You know, Garfield, sharing is one of life's greates pleasures. - GULP! - I love giving people pleasure.
5 April 1987
Hurry, Garfield, the TV workout show is about to start! - You promised you''d try it. So let's go. Okay, but first answer me this... - Just how the heck am I supposed to move?
6 April 1987
GARFIELD! - YOU SHREDDED MY RUNNING SHOES! Someday you'll thank me for that, Jon. - Jogging's the disease. I'm the cure.
7 April 1987
Okay, stand up straight and put your hands on your hips. - Those of you too fat to find your hips, just give it your best guess. - I hate sarcastic fitness instructors.
8 April 1987
Now for jumping jacks on the two count. - ONE! CRASH! - Oh, by the way, before we get to two, don't try this exercise on a recently polished floor. NOW he tells me.
9 April 1987
That's good, everybody. Push up! - ...and down! - ...and up!... I was built for push-ups.
10 April 1987
No, seriously, Linda, I'm a fun guy. I do great impressions! - You do impressions too? Let's hear one. - Listen to this, Garfield, She sounds like a dial tone! This man has no brain.
11 April 1987
The lone gourmet strikes again. - TAP! TAP! - YAWN - You go out and play, Pooky. - ZIP! WHAT tHE...? - HEY, WAIT A MINUTE! I'M NAILED TO MY BED! - WHA?!! - I suppose this was for putting the lizard in your shoe? Now we're even.
12 April 1987
You're a slob, Garfield, Why can't you stay as clean as other cats? - You're supposed to wash yourself like this. Oh, very well. - Start with this arm and make it snappy. You have a lot of territory to cover.
13 April 1987
- - See anything you like?
14 April 1987
Do you know what I hate most about this bed? - UNNNGH! - Trying to sleep on my back.
15 April 1987
It's time to get up. - CREAK! CRACK! - It's also time to go on and diet.
16 April 1987
OH, NO! YOU CHEWED UP MY NEWSPAPER AGAIN! - Hey! This isn't the paper I get. It must belong to a neighbor. - KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! A 250 lb. neighbor, to be precise.
17 April 1987
Thin ice --> - SPLOOSH! - Hexy! THIS ice isn't thin! - Neither are you.
18 April 1987
I hate 3-D movies. - Here, Odie! Here, boy! - I'll throw the bone and you fetch it, okay, boy? Arf! - There it goes! - Odie just fell for the oldest trick in the book. - ZIP! WHUMP - Now what kind of dog would have a bone that big? - Oh, THAT
19 April 1987
This is a perfect day to stay in bed and contemplate life's truths. - Yip! Yip! BRINNNG! GET UP, GARFIELD! - Truths like: "mondays stink".
20 April 1987
Life has many good things to offer: music, art, literature... - Sometimes I think about educating myself on those subjects... - But then I tihnk, "stick with what you know".
21 April 1987
How did you get to be so lazy, Garfield? - Brains, hard work, tenacity and dedication. You're not just born lazy, you know. It's an acquired skill... - I'm sorry I asked. ...an art form if you will, not unlike poetry, dance or music.
22 April 1987
Here comes the mailman, Garfield. I want you to be on your best behavior. - ROWRR! - I must admit, that was one of my better behaviors.
23 April 1987
I ate too much. - I'll probably get another sermon from Jon. - Garfield, you eat too much. I was hoping you wouldn't notice.
24 April 1987
screeee And just what are you doing? - SWIPE! - Your turn. YOU GOTTA JUSTIFY EVERYTHING, DON'T YOU?!
25 April 1987
Where did you find the brain, Nermal...at a garage sale?! - - Rats...bees. - - Buzz off, bees. This is my territory. Z?! - The old "big bee" routine works every time. - ZZZZZ - ZZZZZZ
26 April 1987
It was high noon when the stranger rode into town. - Now comes my favorite part... - He hitched up his horse and ambled into the saloon.
27 April 1987
I am hungry. - Therefore I am. - Rationalizing another bout with gluttony, Garfield. I don't discuss philosophy with pea brains.
28 April 1987
Now I lay me down to sleep... - Hold that thought... - I think I heard Garfield open the refrigerator door.
29 April 1987
JON! JON! WAKE UP! IT'S HORRIBLE! IT'S AWFUL! YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHING! - WHA tIS IT, GARFIELD?! IS THE HOUSE ON FIRE?! IS THERE A BURGLAR?! WORSE!!! - I have hunger pangs!
30 April 1987