I'd like to buy some glue solvent. Is this a holdup? - No, you see, my cat glued these glasses to my face. Your cat? - Sounds silly, huh? Not at all...hello, police?
1 July 1987
FLEA SPRAY TO THE RESCUE! - SSSSSSS - Oops, this is my deodorant. Great, I'd hate to think I was offending them.
2 July 1987
Look Garfield, I bought you a rubber mouse. What's that for? - You can chase it, toss it in the air, stalk it and pounce on it. Yes? - Oh, forget it. Maybe it plays music or something.
3 July 1987
RAOW! RAOW! RAOW! You know, I wonder what a dog would do with a cat if it ever caught one? - SCREEEE Okay, mutt! You caught me! Now what are you going to do with me?! - Next time I lead, all right?
4 July 1987
No Soliciting Attack Cat On Duty - - Okay, Odie, now for a lesson in home plumbing. - All the water lines in this house are connected. - Thusly, if I turn the hot water on here, there will no longer be hot water in Jon's shower. - Observer. -
5 July 1987
GULP MUNCH GOBBLE SMACK GLUB SLURP SNARF - BURP - And people say dinner conversation is a lost art.
6 July 1987
Hey, gang, the cat's away! - * ** - That oughta make'm paranoid.
7 July 1987
I'm depressed, Garfield, Hang on. I have just the thing. - This should cheer you up. - And, of course, misery loves company.
8 July 1987
Pizza is friendy and bananas are funny. - Peaches love to be squeezed and peas occasionally pop in. - I love food with personality.
9 July 1987
Hehwo, widdle puddy tat! - Is'm widdle puddy tat a nicey wicey puddy tat? - Excuse me while nicey wicey puddy tat takes a barfy warfy in the grassy wassy.
10 July 1987
Bye-bye, puddy tat. - The next person to talk baby talk to me gets his clock cleaned. - Why, hehwo widdle puddy tat!
11 July 1987
Odie washes and I dry. - Sigh. - - - PANT PANT PANT SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH PANT -
12 July 1987
Remember to look both ways before crossing the street, Odie. - SCREEE - The point, of course, being to see if there are any cars coming.
13 July 1987
Are you ready for the opera, Steven? - click - Why did you change the program? La-la-laaah. It wasn't insulting to my intelligence any more.
14 July 1987
* - ROWR! - Garfield's sick this morning, he asked me to fill in for him.
15 July 1987
LEAVE THAT FERN ALONE! DO YOU HEAR ME?! - Good heavens, you really ARE listening to me. Could it be you're starting to respect me? - Let's see you make that little thing that hangs down in the back of your throat dance around again!
16 July 1987
I saw this science fiction movie last night about vegetables who imitated other life-forms. - I turned it off... - I watch TV to escape.
17 July 1987
Hey, Garfield. Wanna go running this morning? You've got to be kidding. - Hard breathing can cause brain damage. - pant pant pant I rest my case.
18 July 1987
- This could be any refrigerator, maybe yours. - Deep within the frozen wastes it lurks. - Ancient mayonnaise, fossilized cabbage, slowly mutating over untold eons, gradually achieving consciousness... - Until that terrible day when it is
19 July 1987
Ah, a nice sumptuous meal all alone... - And Garfield nowhere in sight. - And that worries me.
20 July 1987
I'm going to let you decide what to do today, Pooky... - poomp - Not much for talk, but, what an idea man!
21 July 1987
You'd lose some weight if you'd exercise, Garfield. - - Maybe if I breathed a little deeper.
22 July 1987
I'm bored...I hate boredom. - Hurry, Garfield! A quilting bee special is comoing on the television! - And then some people revel in it.
23 July 1987
Cats can stop in an instant. - - Provided that instant isn't on a throw rug.
24 July 1987
I can understand why you watch TV to escape, Garfield, You have so mucht to escape... - The 12 hour naps, the free room and board, the nonstop snacking. - The srcasm, Jon. You forgot the endless sarcasm.
25 July 1987
My zest for life must be a quart low. - Ladies and gentlemen, Garfield and his trained dog will now perform for you. - Do a back flip, Odie. - Beg, Odie. - Roll over, Odie. - GARFIELD! DINNER! - Burp, boy, great dinner. - Now where's Odie?
26 July 1987
Let's go fishing, Garfield. - Well, what do you think? I think you're right. - Fish paralyzed by hysterical fits of laughter probably ARE easier to catch.
27 July 1987
Got my equipment, got my flies. Let's go fishing! - Hang on, Garfield! - My body is hooked to the drapes. - This is going to be a long day.
28 July 1987
Poor little worms, waiting to be skewered on Jon's hook and then fed to some vicious fish. Well it's not right! - YOU'RE FREE! YOU'RE FREE! - Swimming must not be one of their strong suits.
29 July 1987
Remember, Garfield, the key to fishing is patience., the ability to remain motionless for hours. - Garfield? Z That's my boy.
30 July 1987
Well, Garfield, what do you think of fishing so far? - I like it? - Where else can you take a three-hor nap and call it sport?
31 July 1987