I'd like to buy some glue solvent. Is this a holdup? No, you see, my cat glued these glasses to my face. Your cat? Sounds silly, huh? Not at all...hello, police?
1 July 1987
FLEA SPRAY TO THE RESCUE! SSSSSSS Oops, this is my deodorant. Great, I'd hate to think I was offending them.
2 July 1987
Look Garfield, I bought you a rubber mouse. What's that for? You can chase it, toss it in the air, stalk it and pounce on it. Yes? Oh, forget it. Maybe it plays music or something.
3 July 1987
RAOW! RAOW! RAOW! You know, I wonder what a dog would do with a cat if it ever caught one? SCREEEE Okay, mutt! You caught me! Now what are you going to do with me?! Next time I lead, all right?
4 July 1987
No Soliciting Attack Cat On Duty Okay, Odie, now for a lesson in home plumbing. All the water lines in this house are connected. Thusly, if I turn the hot water on here, there will no longer be hot water in Jon's shower. Observer. -YEOWWW! GET OFF THAT SI
5 July 1987
GULP MUNCH GOBBLE SMACK GLUB SLURP SNARF BURP And people say dinner conversation is a lost art.
6 July 1987
Hey, gang, the cat's away! * ** That oughta make'm paranoid.
7 July 1987
I'm depressed, Garfield, Hang on. I have just the thing. This should cheer you up. And, of course, misery loves company.
8 July 1987
Pizza is friendy and bananas are funny. Peaches love to be squeezed and peas occasionally pop in. I love food with personality.
9 July 1987
Hehwo, widdle puddy tat! Is'm widdle puddy tat a nicey wicey puddy tat? Excuse me while nicey wicey puddy tat takes a barfy warfy in the grassy wassy.
10 July 1987
Bye-bye, puddy tat. The next person to talk baby talk to me gets his clock cleaned. Why, hehwo widdle puddy tat!
11 July 1987
Odie washes and I dry. Sigh. PANT PANT PANT SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH PANT -
12 July 1987
Remember to look both ways before crossing the street, Odie. SCREEE The point, of course, being to see if there are any cars coming.
13 July 1987
Are you ready for the opera, Steven? click Why did you change the program? La-la-laaah. It wasn't insulting to my intelligence any more.
14 July 1987
* ROWR! Garfield's sick this morning, he asked me to fill in for him.
15 July 1987
LEAVE THAT FERN ALONE! DO YOU HEAR ME?! Good heavens, you really ARE listening to me. Could it be you're starting to respect me? Let's see you make that little thing that hangs down in the back of your throat dance around again!
16 July 1987
I saw this science fiction movie last night about vegetables who imitated other life-forms. I turned it off... I watch TV to escape.
17 July 1987
Hey, Garfield. Wanna go running this morning? You've got to be kidding. Hard breathing can cause brain damage. pant pant pant I rest my case.
18 July 1987
This could be any refrigerator, maybe yours. Deep within the frozen wastes it lurks. Ancient mayonnaise, fossilized cabbage, slowly mutating over untold eons, gradually achieving consciousness... Until that terrible day when it isunleashed upon an unsusp
19 July 1987
Ah, a nice sumptuous meal all alone... And Garfield nowhere in sight. And that worries me.
20 July 1987
I'm going to let you decide what to do today, Pooky... poomp Not much for talk, but, what an idea man!
21 July 1987
You'd lose some weight if you'd exercise, Garfield. Maybe if I breathed a little deeper.
22 July 1987
I'm bored...I hate boredom. Hurry, Garfield! A quilting bee special is comoing on the television! And then some people revel in it.
23 July 1987
Cats can stop in an instant. Provided that instant isn't on a throw rug.
24 July 1987
I can understand why you watch TV to escape, Garfield, You have so mucht to escape... The 12 hour naps, the free room and board, the nonstop snacking. The srcasm, Jon. You forgot the endless sarcasm.
25 July 1987
My zest for life must be a quart low. Ladies and gentlemen, Garfield and his trained dog will now perform for you. Do a back flip, Odie. Beg, Odie. Roll over, Odie. GARFIELD! DINNER! Burp, boy, great dinner. Now where's Odie?
26 July 1987
Let's go fishing, Garfield. Well, what do you think? I think you're right. Fish paralyzed by hysterical fits of laughter probably ARE easier to catch.
27 July 1987
Got my equipment, got my flies. Let's go fishing! Hang on, Garfield! My body is hooked to the drapes. This is going to be a long day.
28 July 1987
Poor little worms, waiting to be skewered on Jon's hook and then fed to some vicious fish. Well it's not right! YOU'RE FREE! YOU'RE FREE! Swimming must not be one of their strong suits.
29 July 1987
Remember, Garfield, the key to fishing is patience., the ability to remain motionless for hours. Garfield? Z That's my boy.
30 July 1987
Well, Garfield, what do you think of fishing so far? I like it? Where else can you take a three-hor nap and call it sport?
31 July 1987