Mom! Dad! Welcome to the big city! Ha! You call this one-horse burg big? Uh...care to freshen up? Like from a sink? Sure! Do it all the time! Your father's determined not to be taken for a country bumpkin. Cut the chat. My tractor'sdouble-parked.
Is dad okay, mom? He sounds a little hoarse. He's a little upset with you on that subject. With me? In your last letter you said you made your plants grow by talking to them. You don't mean?... Ever try to give a pep talk to 40 acres ofsoybeans?
Here it is, dad, a modern bathroom with all the conveniences. I knoe that! What kind of rube do you think I am? CRACK! MODERN CONVENIENCES, HA! CHEAP, YOU MEAN! Pumped the handle twice and it snapped like a twig!
Look, Garfield! This is my first serious attempt at making gourmet food. "first humorous" attempt is more like it. I call it "chicken surprise". Somehow, I'm not surprised. Fresh from the oven. I know. I heard the microwave laughing.
The most important part of writing a book is picking a good title. I think I'll call mine "Nights Of Indiscretion". No, no. A writer must write something he knows about. That's it! I'll call it "Nights Of Indigestion".
That's the last time I let you steer, Odie. Whee! I love snow. Yeah! As long as the neighbor kids don't spot us. SPLUT! SPLUT! Hey, cat! Give us the kitten and we'll let you live. NOT A CHANCE, YOU TURKEYS! IT'S ALL FOR ONE ANDONE FOR... all.
Garfield, I hope you're not thinking of climbing my curtains. I wouldn't dream of climbing your stupid curtains, Jon. But, to be the first cat ever to lead an expedition up the southwest face of Mt. Everest, that's another matter!
Hey, Garfield, let's jog around the block. You'll get outside and give those lungs some exercise. No way. I'm beginning to worry about you! And close the door! I don't want any unnecessary air getting in here!
See you later, Garfield. I have to pick up spring water and fertilizer. Boy, is Jon spoiling that fern. I require only the simple things in life, like a long nap in a warm sunbeam. This has got to stop.
Even the Caped Avenger requires special effects. Z click! That's it! I'm tired of living with you bozos! I'm moving out an taking my stuff with me. How's apartment life, Garfield? With the exception of one nosy neighbor, not bad.
Good morning, boys and girls! Good morning, Uncle Roy! I love you just the way you are! I love you too, uncle Roy! Of course, you could stand to lose a little weight... CLICK I wonder what Binky The Clown is up to?
Good morning, boys and girls! I love you just the way you are! I love you too, Uncle Roy. Golly. I feel good today! And do you know why? Why? Because I have so many wonderful friends like you! Translation: Uncle Roy's ratings are up.
Let's take a walk in my neighborhood, boys and girls. Would you like that? Sure, Uncle Roy. Here we are outside my hou... HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! HELP! BLINKY THE CLOWN'S STEALING MY HUBCAPS! It must be ratings week.
This is Odie-wan-Kanobe. He has the force to help us. He hides it well. EEEK! HELP! HWLP! HELP! Garfield, you sissy. I can't believe you're afraid of a little spider. I need your book. FWAP Thank you very much. EEEK!
Garfield, I know you're depressed about your upcoming birthday... But, remember you're only as old as you feel. Let's see...how old are you going to be? About 12 million years old, give or take a millenium.
I, Garfield, Prince of Chraming, hve just awakened you with a kiss. It wasn't the kiss. It was the smell of sardines and pumpernickel on your breath. hee hee hee YAAAH! EEEEK!!! That would have been funnier had his brain notbeen in another time zone.
One for me and all for me. Does that sound right to ypu?! bat bat bat bat bat bat ZIP FWAP FWAP FWAP That's a familiar sound. We've gotta put a stop to this, Garfield. * There, this venetian blind should do the trick. ZIPCHU-CHUNG -
Morning, Garfield. Have a good sleep? It was a decent sleep, even a better-than-average sleep. A sleep, perhaps, thet the uninitiated might think a first-rate sleep, but not a sleep that we conoisseurs would consider... I'm sorry I asked!
If I ruled the world, do you know what I would do? I know what I would do. I would make all people live in harmony. I would eat lasagna till it came out my nose. And I would make cats stop being so self-serving. And dogs would beoutlawed!
Here's a picture of my brother and me. Boy we were pretty wild. An night we'd sneak out of our room... Then we'd fill our shoes with chicken feed and run through the henhouse! Two real fugitives from justice.
Not to fear, friar Odie. I've done this a hundred times, so I'm bound to get it right sooner or later. Z Z BRINNNNG! Come here, you little...and I'll rip your hands off. BRINNG! I assume there's an explanation. Careful, Jon!They travel in pairs.
Here's a famous phrase for you, Garfield. "Curiosity killed the cat". My uncle Bernie coined that one. Right afte rhe coined the phrase, "never listen for a train by putting your ear on a train track".
This space for rent GARFIELD Jon has no sense of humor. unscrew unscrew unscrew SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE Good morning, Garfield. PLOP GOOSH! Garfield! One more trick and no more TV for a week! Uh, about your croissant.
The big dripper. DINNERTIME! Hungry, Garfield? Is Odie stupid? Great! let's go to the refrigerator and find something to eat. Come on, Odie. Don't do it, Jon! I'd better go to the rescue. SLAM! Clean out the refrigerator, Jon!
That's the last time I hide pet snacks on my person. Some pets are well behaved, and then there are my pets. I can't leave them alone for a second, watch this. So long, boys! I'll only be gone for a second! One. I rest my case.
I can't believe Judy asked us to leave her party. By the way, what were you doing in the salad bowl? Bobbing for croutons. Boy was she mad. You'd think she'd never had hair on her tomato wedges before.
35 days, 5 hours, 36 minutes and 4 seconds till Christmas. CLICK Z Z Wha? Who?! Are you a monster?! SLURP! Odie! It's you! Sure, you can sleep with me. Yaaah! Now who are YOU?! CLICK GARFIELD! What are you trying to do? Scareus?
WAH! Hey, Odie! Fetch, boy! DONK PLOP SHOOM! Odie, you stupid idiot! That's a fire hydrant! Not a bone! Oh well, maybe this will make a nice planter or something. squeak squeak I don't even want to know.