I can feel monday creeping up. - Now for a nice loooong nap. - Presenting RIP VAN GARFIELD The Story Of A Catnap... Z - That Lasted 50 Years! For the first time in my life, I feel rested! - Some Things Had Changed... Roof! Roof! - Some Things
Mom! Dad! Welcome to the big city! Ha! You call this one-horse burg big? - Uh...care to freshen up? Like from a sink? Sure! Do it all the time! - Your father's determined not to be taken for a country bumpkin. Cut the chat. My tractor's
Is dad okay, mom? He sounds a little hoarse. He's a little upset with you on that subject. - With me? In your last letter you said you made your plants grow by talking to them. - You don't mean?... Ever try to give a pep talk to 40 acres of
Here it is, dad, a modern bathroom with all the conveniences. I knoe that! What kind of rube do you think I am? - CRACK! MODERN CONVENIENCES, HA! CHEAP, YOU MEAN! - Pumped the handle twice and it snapped like a twig!
I think he's falling for it! Lasagna Flavored Hibiscus - Uh-oh. - Look, cat, it's like this...I'm a flowering plant. - I bring joy to this dreary existence. - My delicate blossoms offer beauty, grace and a sense of hope to this life. - Plant,
Garfield, you're not still mad at me for serving you that rubber pizza last night are you? Nah. - And you're not planning some sinister revenge, are you` I'm bigger than that. - Maybe I'm just paranoid.
Look, Garfield! This is my first serious attempt at making gourmet food. "first humorous" attempt is more like it. - I call it "chicken surprise". Somehow, I'm not surprised. - Fresh from the oven. I know. I heard the microwave laughing.
Sigh. - Nobody loves me. I'm just old and fat. - Look mommy! A little kitty. She said, "little"! - Here, little kitty kitty kitty. Bless you, child! - Well, I wouldn't exactly say "little," dear. What would you say, mommy? - Hmm, how about
I think I'll write a book! A book about a handsome, debonair cat who saved the world from alien invaders, ended war and solved world hunger. - Nah. - There are already too many autobiographies out there.
The most important part of writing a book is picking a good title. I think I'll call mine "Nights Of Indiscretion". - No, no. A writer must write something he knows about. - That's it! I'll call it "Nights Of Indigestion".
That's the last time I let you steer, Odie. - - Whee! I love snow. Yeah! As long as the neighbor kids don't spot us. - SPLUT! SPLUT! - - Hey, cat! Give us the kitten and we'll let you live. - NOT A CHANCE, YOU TURKEYS! IT'S ALL FOR ONE AND
Garfield, I hope you're not thinking of climbing my curtains. - I wouldn't dream of climbing your stupid curtains, Jon. - But, to be the first cat ever to lead an expedition up the southwest face of Mt. Everest, that's another matter!
You squished my banana. - I have a blind date, tonight, what should I wear? - Maybe I'll go with the rustic look... - Or suave and sophisticated. - Or she might go for the athletic type. - DING! DONG! That's her! How do I look? Perfect. - I'm
Come on, Odie, LIFT - tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity - What are you doing, Garfield? Guess! - Are you dancing? Are you upset? Nope. - Are you hungry? Guess AGAIN. - Are you trying to warn me about something? You'll never guess. - ARE
- How do I look? Like a million, give or take a year. - I think I carry my weight rather well. You should. You've had the practice. - Do you think I'll loose my looks with age? With luck, you will. - Do you think I have a strong chin? Which
And then my cat grabbed the steering wheel, and... - YAWN - I wish I could get to sleep. - HOWDY! Who are you? - I'm the sand person, I help folks go to sleep. Really? - Yup. A few sprinkles of my magic sand and it's nighty night time. Lay it
CRASH! - Hey, Garfield, guess what?! - We are going to roller-skate our way to health. - NOW, LET'S GET OUT THERE AND DO IT! - One side! Here comes your owner, the "Roller Skate King!" - AYIEEEEE! HONK! CRASH - - There goes my owner, the
Hey, Garfield, let's jog around the block. You'll get outside and give those lungs some exercise. No way. - I'm beginning to worry about you! - And close the door! I don't want any unnecessary air getting in here!
Those tonsils will have to come out, Mr, Arbuckel I'm putting you in the hospital. Okay, doc. Hospitel? - JON! DON'T GO! How touching, a cat who's concerned about his owner. - WHO'S GOING TO FEED ME?!!
Aunt Gussie will take care of you while I'm in the hospitel having my tonsils removed. - Aunt Gussie?! Oh, great! Oh, come on. She's a sweet old lady. - Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you meant the same aunt Gussie who was kicked out of the marines
It's another "hurts to move" morning. - - Hello, what's this? - A shoe, a single shoe. - Why is it you find only one shoe in the trash? One shoe on a sidewalk? One shoe in the street? - Why don't people pitch shoes in Paris?! - KNOCK KNOCK
See you later, Garfield. I have to pick up spring water and fertilizer. Boy, is Jon spoiling that fern. - I require only the simple things in life, like a long nap in a warm sunbeam. - This has got to stop.
Even the Caped Avenger requires special effects. - - Z - click! - That's it! I'm tired of living with you bozos! - I'm moving out an taking my stuff with me. - How's apartment life, Garfield? With the exception of one nosy neighbor, not bad.
Good morning, boys and girls! Good morning, Uncle Roy! - I love you just the way you are! I love you too, uncle Roy! - Of course, you could stand to lose a little weight... CLICK I wonder what Binky The Clown is up to?
Good morning, boys and girls! I love you just the way you are! I love you too, Uncle Roy. - Golly. I feel good today! And do you know why? Why? - Because I have so many wonderful friends like you! Translation: Uncle Roy's ratings are up.
Why, here comes Mr. Blue Jeans, the mailman. Morning, Mr. Blue Jeans. Any mail for me? - You, Uncle Roy, here's a black tax notice and a copy of Leather and Bike Magazine. - And here's a letter from you ex-wife's lawyer... This is a side of
Let's take a walk in my neighborhood, boys and girls. Would you like that? Sure, Uncle Roy. - Here we are outside my hou... HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! - HELP! BLINKY THE CLOWN'S STEALING MY HUBCAPS! It must be ratings week.
Hi, boys and girls! I love you just the way you are! I love you too, Uncle Roy! - I'm in this cast today thanks to Binky The Clown who mugged me yesterday. But that's okay, because I love him just the way he is... - BEHIND BARS! Uncle Roy's
Do you think the wizard will give me a brain? You didn't tell me you had family here, Odie. - Hey, Odie. - Is that your tongue or did you swallow a pair of Long Johns? - - By the way, I heard your fleas died of food poisoning. - Oh, yes, Igor
This is Odie-wan-Kanobe. He has the force to help us. He hides it well. - - EEEK! - HELP! HWLP! HELP! - - Garfield, you sissy. I can't believe you're afraid of a little spider. - I need your book. - FWAP - Thank you very much. - EEEK!
Well, who had the keys last, deputy? - - Uh, Jon, you know how curious cats are, don't you? - Well, I sorta found you car keys on the chest and Odie and I...uh, well... - What are you trying to tell me, Garfield? - VRMM - CRASH - Never mind.
Garfield, I know you're depressed about your upcoming birthday... - But, remember you're only as old as you feel. - Let's see...how old are you going to be? About 12 million years old, give or take a millenium.
If you brought me presents you may stay. - Hey, Garfield, I just ran across the old family album. Ho boy. - Our only thought is to entertain you. Feed me. Show me a good mouser, and I'll show you a cat with bad breath. We're inseparable,
Do you expect me to be seen in public with you dressed like that? - CLICK - Why do I stay up and watch those old horror movies? - What if there's a monster under my bed? - That's silly. A monster couldn't fit under there. - Unless of course,
That's not a lasagna, mate, THIS is a lasagna! - Z - Whoa, Simba! Z - Why, it's an ancient ruin of a human being. - WHUMP! Let's unearth this relic, Sibma. - This must be a hand which is used to prepare food. - And these must be feet that
HEE HA HA HA HEE HEE HA HA HA HEE HA - And now let's play "The Brain Game". - Here's our quiz question. Be the first person to call with the correct answer and win a new house! Right, I'll just pick up the phone and tall you the answer. - If
- Now for a nice evening of television. - BLIP! Rats! We must've blown a fuse! - Garfield, use your cat instincts to guide me to the basement. - OUCH!..HEY! Where are you leading me? - I think we're in the basement. Never mind. We'll sleep
I remember breakfast back home. - Lying in bed. The smell of bacon on the griddle... - The sound of mom giggling as she made patterns in the potato pancakes with my baby shoes. She's a disturbed woman.
I, Garfield, Prince of Chraming, hve just awakened you with a kiss. It wasn't the kiss. It was the smell of sardines and pumpernickel on your breath. - - hee hee hee - YAAAH! - - - EEEEK!!! - That would have been funnier had his brain not
One for me and all for me. Does that sound right to ypu?! - bat bat bat - bat bat bat - ZIP FWAP FWAP FWAP - That's a familiar sound. - We've gotta put a stop to this, Garfield. - * - There, this venetian blind should do the trick. - ZIP
Morning, Garfield. Have a good sleep? - It was a decent sleep, even a better-than-average sleep. - A sleep, perhaps, thet the uninitiated might think a first-rate sleep, but not a sleep that we conoisseurs would consider... I'm sorry I asked!
This is great, Jon. What are you going to have? - * - Hey, Garfield. - Did you know muscles earn you respect? - Did you know chicks go crazy over guys with big muscles? - - - Did you know you can flex fat?
GARFIELD! Who else? - Hmmm - You are about to witness my finest hour. - Garfield, you are a genius. - Ah, customers! - Oh, Brett! This is perfect! I love it! - You're right, Mona. A little paint and some wallpaper and we'll more right in. A
If I ruled the world, do you know what I would do? I know what I would do. - I would make all people live in harmony. I would eat lasagna till it came out my nose. - And I would make cats stop being so self-serving. And dogs would be
Here's a picture of my brother and me. Boy we were pretty wild. - An night we'd sneak out of our room... - Then we'd fill our shoes with chicken feed and run through the henhouse! Two real fugitives from justice.
Not to fear, friar Odie. I've done this a hundred times, so I'm bound to get it right sooner or later. - Z - - Z - BRINNNNG! - Come here, you little...and I'll rip your hands off. - - BRINNG! - I assume there's an explanation. Careful, Jon!
Whew! I was beginning to think I'd never get full. BURP! - Lah-lah-lah-lah-lah-lah-laaaaaahhh- I hope the writer's strike ends soon. - And now, back to the Binky the Clown show! - HEEEEEEEY, KIDS!!! Good morning, Binky! - It's a beautiful day
This painting of you is lacking something, Garfield. Yeah, a resemblance. - - Garfield, are you lying on my sandwich? You might say that. - Hey, misterm may we bury your cat in the sand? Sire, go ahead. - Thanks, mister. You're in trouble.
It's too early in the morning for "cute". - - Cats are the greatest hunters on earth. - Watch me sneak up on that bird. - Cats are silent stalkers, deftly stepping between the dry leaves. - Remaining absolutely motionless, cats wait for the
Here's a famous phrase for you, Garfield. - "Curiosity killed the cat". My uncle Bernie coined that one. - Right afte rhe coined the phrase, "never listen for a train by putting your ear on a train track".
My crystal ball tells me I'm going to have fish for lunch. - OH NO! - GARFIELD! YOU'VE GOTTA HELP ME! - I'm late for my date! Which socks should I wear? - My shirt! Does it go with my socks?! - TIES! I HAVE TOO MAY TIES! - THERE ARE TOO MANY
This space for rent GARFIELD Jon has no sense of humor. - - unscrew unscrew unscrew - SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE - Good morning, Garfield. - PLOP - GOOSH! - Garfield! One more trick and no more TV for a week! - Uh, about your croissant.
Wanna look thinner? Hang around with people fatter than you. - - The cat senses the approach of danger. - rrrrr - The dog approaches, bent on wreaking havoc on the cat. - AR! AR! AR! AR! AR! AR! The dog threatens to dismember the cat. - The
The big dripper. - DINNERTIME! - Hungry, Garfield? Is Odie stupid? - Great! let's go to the refrigerator and find something to eat. - Come on, Odie. Don't do it, Jon! - I'd better go to the rescue. - - SLAM! Clean out the refrigerator, Jon!
- Garfield, I've always wondered, what do you do with all the raisins you pick off your cookies? That's none of your business. - Oh well, I guess I'll go clean out the coat closet today. I wouldn't do that if I were you. - YAAAAHHH!!! - Very
That's the last time I hide pet snacks on my person. - - Some pets are well behaved, and then there are my pets. I can't leave them alone for a second, watch this. - So long, boys! I'll only be gone for a second! - One. - I rest my case.
I can't believe Judy asked us to leave her party. - By the way, what were you doing in the salad bowl? Bobbing for croutons. - Boy was she mad. You'd think she'd never had hair on her tomato wedges before.
35 days, 5 hours, 36 minutes and 4 seconds till Christmas. - CLICK - Z - Z Wha? Who?! Are you a monster?! - SLURP! Odie! It's you! Sure, you can sleep with me. - Yaaah! Now who are YOU?! - CLICK GARFIELD! - What are you trying to do? Scare
WAH! - Hey, Odie! - Fetch, boy! - DONK PLOP - SHOOM! - Odie, you stupid idiot! That's a fire hydrant! Not a bone! - Oh well, maybe this will make a nice planter or something. squeak squeak - I don't even want to know.
Ah, yes. There it is. That old Christmas spirit is in the air once again. - What would you like for breakfast, Garfield? A blueberry waffle, please. - AND A CAR, A PONY AND A VILLA IN THE SOUTH OF FRANCE!
Jon, I think it was a mistake to bring Odie. - YAWN - Why, thank you, Garfield. - Odie! You fixed breakfast! How sweet. - Thanks, Garfield. It's a bit drafty in here. - Uh, thank you, Odie. - SCREEEEE - By the way, boys, this attention
Z - BARK! - Oh yeah, it's Christmas morning. - The morning I have to get up early, be nice to people, skip breakfast... - Urf! I love you, Garfield! I wish it would never end. Merry Christmas! Jim Davis 12.25