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Garfield

Z Oh, no! What happened to my toes?! -

1 January 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

In the natural order of things, cats aren't fat, Garfield. PURRR Oh, very well. In the natural order of things, humans ARE gullible, though.

2 January 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Pretty impressive, eh, Arlene. Yes, impressive that those legs can move my body. Unngh! GUH! AAAAAK! HIYAAAHGHA! One!

3 January 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Some egg foo young, Garfield? Sure. Hoe about some moo goo gai pan. Do you know what I like about chinese food? It's as much fun to say as it is to eat!

4 January 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Still haven't mastered those chopsticks, huh, Garfield? Mastered? ...no. Perfected? ...yes.

5 January 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I knew you'd like chinese food, Garfield, but Im surprised you ate the octopus. Octopus? ACK! COUGH HACK BLECK! Actually it wasn't half bad.

6 January 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Gimme that fortune cookie. Beware of the SPLUT! SPLUT!

7 January 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Impressions! A clock! CUCKOO CUCKOO Tah-dah! Aren't they cute?

8 January 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

psssssh This stuff is guaranteed to keep pets off the furniture. It's so easy it's almost unfair.

9 January 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I can feel monday creeping up. Now for a nice loooong nap. Presenting RIP VAN GARFIELD The Story Of A Catnap... Z That Lasted 50 Years! For the first time in my life, I feel rested! Some Things Had Changed... Roof! Roof! Some ThingsHadn't Changed... How a

10 January 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I hate mondays. I need something to cheer me up. PUNT! Even gravity has it in for me today!

11 January 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield! What are you doing? Uh...push-ups? The vet put you on a diet. I want a second opinion. How about a nice leaf of lettuce? PLease! If I laugh I might snort an anchovy!

12 January 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm so hungry from my diet I couldn't sleep last night. Thereby depriving me of food AND sleep, two of three things I live for. If the third weren't self-pity, I'd kill myself.

13 January 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Must you play with your food? Who's playing? I'm picking out vitamins.

14 January 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield! You lost another pound! I'm so proud of you! Jon's so naive. It's the same pound I lose every week.

15 January 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Where would you like to eat, Garfield? This place? How come? ERNIE'S Eat Till You Explode Restaurant Let's just say, I have a good feeling about it.

16 January 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, kid, isn't that Halley's comet? RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! IT'S A RABID MUSKRAT! I like the part where he made you fetch it on all fours. Oh, shut up.

17 January 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Are you sleeping again? I am NOT sleeping. I'm checking my eyelids for light leaks.

18 January 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, you bought new socks! Here, let me break 'em in for you. Gotta Dance Gotta Dance So this is why my feet have been itching.

19 January 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Excuse me, Irma, there's a hair in my soup. How do you know it's not one of yours? I use smaller rollers.

20 January 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, look, Garfield, Odie's standing on his head! So? Isn't that amazing?! Not really. How does he do that? I glued his head to the table.

21 January 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

They say cats can see in the dark. CLICK Hey! It's true! I CAN see! I see a whole lot of dark.

22 January 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I shall now derive great pleasure from kicking Odie off this table. CRASH! THAT WAs DARNED INCONSIDERATE!

23 January 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

There's nothing like a quiet evening at home. click click click click click gobble gobble gobble DONK! scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch Not around here, at any rate.

24 January 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Guess who this letter is from? Your parents. They're paying us a visit! Know how I knew that? Who else uses barnyard scented stationery?

25 January 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Mom! Dad! Welcome to the big city! Ha! You call this one-horse burg big? Uh...care to freshen up? Like from a sink? Sure! Do it all the time! Your father's determined not to be taken for a country bumpkin. Cut the chat. My tractor'sdouble-parked.

26 January 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Is dad okay, mom? He sounds a little hoarse. He's a little upset with you on that subject. With me? In your last letter you said you made your plants grow by talking to them. You don't mean?... Ever try to give a pep talk to 40 acres ofsoybeans?

27 January 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Here it is, dad, a modern bathroom with all the conveniences. I knoe that! What kind of rube do you think I am? CRACK! MODERN CONVENIENCES, HA! CHEAP, YOU MEAN! Pumped the handle twice and it snapped like a twig!

28 January 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I have a big day planned for us tomorrow, so don't forget to set your alarm, dad. What time? Four A.M.? Uh...whenever. Four o'clock, got that? Either he goes, or I go!

29 January 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Rise and shine, cat! On the farm we get up with the chickens. So do we. Except our chickens are in the freezer. SO THE MINUTE YOU SEE ONE OF THEM UP AND AROUND GIVE ME A CALL!

30 January 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I think he's falling for it! Lasagna Flavored Hibiscus Uh-oh. Look, cat, it's like this...I'm a flowering plant. I bring joy to this dreary existence. My delicate blossoms offer beauty, grace and a sense of hope to this life. Plant,you have touched my hea

31 January 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you're not still mad at me for serving you that rubber pizza last night are you? Nah. And you're not planning some sinister revenge, are you` I'm bigger than that. Maybe I'm just paranoid.

1 February 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Look, Garfield! This is my first serious attempt at making gourmet food. "first humorous" attempt is more like it. I call it "chicken surprise". Somehow, I'm not surprised. Fresh from the oven. I know. I heard the microwave laughing.

2 February 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Forget it, Garfield. I'm planning to enjoy this ALONE. GULP! Now, you're alone.

3 February 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Come oin, scale. Can't you see I'm waiting for your verdict? I don't know if I have the heart to tell you this... You have a heart? You have a face?

4 February 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Get off! I can't breathe! Notify my next of kin! I WANT it to die. If I had eyes my life would be passing before them!

5 February 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Sit up, Odie. Sit up, boy! COME ON! SIT UP! Good luck, Jon. It took Odie three years to learn to breathe.

6 February 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh. Nobody loves me. I'm just old and fat. Look mommy! A little kitty. She said, "little"! Here, little kitty kitty kitty. Bless you, child! Well, I wouldn't exactly say "little," dear. What would you say, mommy? Hmm, how aboutold an

7 February 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I hate february. But february starts out irritating, becomes boring and ends up depressing. February is the "monday" of months.

8 February 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I think I'll write a book! A book about a handsome, debonair cat who saved the world from alien invaders, ended war and solved world hunger. Nah. There are already too many autobiographies out there.

9 February 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

The most important part of writing a book is picking a good title. I think I'll call mine "Nights Of Indiscretion". No, no. A writer must write something he knows about. That's it! I'll call it "Nights Of Indigestion".

10 February 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

THAT'S IT! I have just come up with a cure for writer's cramp! Writer's block.

11 February 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Most kids love snow. Most kids love building forts and throwing snaowballs. Mine are out for world domination.

12 February 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

If Oj'n not going to let us in, I say we break the door in! TAP It's tough building up a full head of steam in deep snow.

13 February 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Yes, Odie, I'd say that hook is fairly important. Z Z POOF CHOOM! ZOOM! I thought you were asleep! I was, my STOMACH wasn't.

14 February 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you just had your morning nap. What are you doing back in bed? Taking your advice. You said, "never put off until tomorrow what you can do today". This is tomorrow morning's nap.

15 February 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, I give. I was measuring the refrigerator for a pet door.

16 February 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

It's fun finding familiar shapes in clouds. That one looks like Odie, same ears, same stupid expression... The same slobber.

17 February 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

So, what's your problem, guys? We demand separate closets!

18 February 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Here I am again, pondering my existence. ...my relationship with the universe. ...my having eaten too much to move.

19 February 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I wish there were a sign to make you realize how fat you are, Garfield. RUMBLE RUMBLE And what does THAT tell you? That I shall be having my meals on the floor from now on.

20 February 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

That's the last time I let you steer, Odie. Whee! I love snow. Yeah! As long as the neighbor kids don't spot us. SPLUT! SPLUT! Hey, cat! Give us the kitten and we'll let you live. NOT A CHANCE, YOU TURKEYS! IT'S ALL FOR ONE ANDONE FOR... all.

21 February 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

CLICK! What is it, Garfield?! Is there a thief? Is the house on fire?! Worse! The light in the refrigerator is out!

22 February 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

pant pant Odie drips so much maybe I should call a plumber! That's a figur eof speech, Garfield.

23 February 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

drip drip drip drip drip drip drip SQUEAK -

24 February 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I hope you're not thinking of climbing my curtains. I wouldn't dream of climbing your stupid curtains, Jon. But, to be the first cat ever to lead an expedition up the southwest face of Mt. Everest, that's another matter!

25 February 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Climber's log: 12,000 feet up Mt. Everest and the going is slow. At this altitude oxygen is scarce. The experienced climber knows he must rest often. Z Now I've seen everything.

26 February 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

That's my pie, Garfield, so HANDS OFF! PLOOT nnngh!

27 February 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

You squished my banana. I have a blind date, tonight, what should I wear? Maybe I'll go with the rustic look... Or suave and sophisticated. Or she might go for the athletic type. DING! DONG! That's her! How do I look? Perfect. I'mGwen. You're cute. God ma

28 February 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

You know, Garfield, maybe we should skip dessert tonight. SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP JON! SPEAK TO ME! YOU'RE DELIRIOUS, MAN! Thanks, I needed that.

29 February 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

It says here, owners and their pets often look alike. I think I'll go shave. I think I'll go have plastic surgery done.

1 March 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Cats evoke many emotions in people...love, pleasure, wonder... and guilt.

2 March 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

You know, before we start our meal, it might be nice to bow our heads and give thanks. Good idea. THANKS! PLOP You're missing the point, Garfield.

3 March 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you're a disgrace to your species. Actually, I'm rather unique. I'm one of the few mammals who can breathe under food.

4 March 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Have some water, little fella. Now, I'll let you drain for a bit. I knoew this would happen if Jon didn't clean the garbage disposal.

5 March 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Come on, Odie, LIFT tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity What are you doing, Garfield? Guess! Are you dancing? Are you upset? Nope. Are you hungry? Guess AGAIN. Are you trying to warn me about something? You'll never guess. AREYOU HORT?! Never in a mil

6 March 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I hate mondays. Me, too. Why are YOU looking depressed? YOU don't work. Sympathy pains.

7 March 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

They say, "You are what you eat". MOOOO

8 March 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, wake up. Do you know I can't remember the last time I heard you say "Meow"? We'll talk about this in the morning. Jon doesn't have enough to occupy his mind.

9 March 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH May I get you a snorkel? Are you trying to tell me something?

10 March 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Welcome to "Whistling For Dollars"! The world's most stupid and boring game show. Looks like the "truth in advertising" people struck again.

11 March 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

AHA! Let's see you get out of this one gracefully. -

12 March 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

How do I look? Like a million, give or take a year. I think I carry my weight rather well. You should. You've had the practice. Do you think I'll loose my looks with age? With luck, you will. Do you think I have a strong chin? Whichone? Thank you for you

13 March 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, if a burglar broke into the house, would you risk your life to save me? Excuse me. HA! HA! HA! HA ha! ha! ha! Let me rephrase that.

14 March 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Irma, is this tea or coffee? What does it taste like? It tastes like turpentine. Oh, that's our coffee. Our tea tastes like transmission fluid.

15 March 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

A philosopher once said, !I think; therefore I am". Poor Odie, he isn't aware that he doesn't even exist.

16 March 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

It says here, an active fantasy can improve your personality. I HAVE an active fantasy life. When I'm eating, I fantasize about sleep. When I sleep, I fantasize about eating.

17 March 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, have you ever imagined yourself as really young again? Interesting. Years of experience yet to be lived. Years of fun yet to be had. Years of sleep yet to be slept.

18 March 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

munch munch munch BURP My compliments to the chief.

19 March 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

And then my cat grabbed the steering wheel, and... YAWN I wish I could get to sleep. HOWDY! Who are you? I'm the sand person, I help folks go to sleep. Really? Yup. A few sprinkles of my magic sand and it's nighty night time. Lay iton me! HIT IT, CHARLEY!

20 March 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, Garfield. I fixed you eggs, bacon, cinnamon rolls and hot coffee. Let me at 'em! WOAH! Rats. Nice try, Jon, You almost got me up on a monday that time.

21 March 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

You have nothing to worry about, Mr. Arbuckle. Licking the beaters on a cake mixer can't possibly harm your cat. But, let's say that mixer was running at the time...

22 March 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

KICK Why, Odie! Whatever gave you an idea like that? THIS is a kick! POMP!

23 March 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, if you're going to act like a piece of furniture, I'm going to treat you like a piece of furniture. Idle threats can't move me. Ha ha ha. Very funny, Jon.

24 March 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, let's just stay in today and lounge around. Okaaaay. I feel sorta silly, but I'll give it a shot.

25 March 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD! Perfect timing.

26 March 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

CRASH! Hey, Garfield, guess what?! We are going to roller-skate our way to health. NOW, LET'S GET OUT THERE AND DO IT! One side! Here comes your owner, the "Roller Skate King!" AYIEEEEE! HONK! CRASH There goes my owner, the"Roller Skate Hoo

27 March 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

You gotta take me to the vet, Jon. I'm having trouble sleeping, It seems like I just get into bed... And then, BOOM! Twelve or thirteen hours later I'm wide awake!

28 March 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

COUGH! WHEEZE! This may be my last hour. Let me spend it in the comfort of my home! Remembe rthe vet appointment, huh? I may never see these four walls again!

29 March 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

When I can't sleep, it seems like every sound in the house is magnified. THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD Must you?!

30 March 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Maybe a good book will help me sleep. A good, BIG book. whap whap whap Sleep! Sleep! Sleep!

31 March 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I know insomnia is no laughing matter, Garfield, so I'll keep you company. Let's see...I think I'll regale you with some anectdotes from my life as a boy on the farm. Z

1 April 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

What's your favorite kind of music? Rock? Jazz? Classical? This way. WHIRRRRR Git down! Uh-huh, uh-huh!

2 April 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Odie. Let's put on a show for Jon. TAPPITY TAPPITY TAPPITY BLAT! SPLUT! Z RIP!CLAW SLASH FITTT GRRR! What did I do?

3 April 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

BRINNNG! The worst part about being irritated by an inanimate object is there's no rational way to get back at it. Fortunately, I'm not a rational person.

4 April 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

There's an old show biz saying, "find out what your audience wants and give it to them". BONK! SPLAT! WHAP! Apparently, my audience wants a target.

5 April 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello, Arlene, the cat of your dreams is here. You're a dream? You bet'cha, baby. I knew I shouldn't have eaten that pizza at bedtime. Ouch.

6 April 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, Garfield, in ten seconds the timer will go off. click Capturing for posterity a portrait of a sophisticated young man and his faithful companion. whirrrr SNAP

7 April 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I think you're going to like this food, ferny. It's 100% fish meal accor... burp

8 April 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I swear, Garfield, you're a glutton who'll eat anything. I AM NOT A GLUTTON! AND THIS ISN'T JUST ANYTHING I am a performing artist and this is my repertoire.

9 April 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Howdy, ma'am! You new to these parts? BLUT MOMMIEEE! Oops! EEEEEK! YIP! YIP! YIP! WHI!!!! YAH! This is not a good day in the vanity department.

10 April 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, why don't you like to go outside like other cats? Right, like the time we went to the farm and I wrestled a chicken. You're hopeless. It was humiliating being pinned by ac chicken.

11 April 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

So what's Mr. Excitement doing today? Collecting dust. I'm going jogging. Wanna go? Can't you see I'm busy? It would get your circulation going. Stop it! You're scaring the dust!

12 April 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield, let's jog around the block. You'll get outside and give those lungs some exercise. No way. I'm beginning to worry about you! And close the door! I don't want any unnecessary air getting in here!

13 April 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Welcome to the early morning exercise show! Ready? And one! And two! Ha! Ha! Now you're getting it! It's easy to be cheery in the moring when you're prerecorded.

14 April 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Today I'm going to work on push-ups. UNNNGH So much for "push". Tomorrow we work on "up".

15 April 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

This is what we need, Garfield. A complete entertainment system. It has something for everybody. Really? Then this must be where you warm up the pizza.

16 April 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK GIMME THAT! CLICK Very well, Jon, have it your way. CLICK Speak softly and carry a big channel changer.

17 April 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

You watch a lot of TV. Do you know that, Garfield? I can't read. What's your excuse?

18 April 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Boy are you fat! Hey, guys! Get a load of lardo here! WHUMP!

19 April 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

It's been a nice day, Garfield. A peaceful day. Which will end abruptly if you stop scratching my belly.

20 April 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

From now on I expect you to keep your area clean, Garfield. So I bought you this little broom. Where's the little maid to go with it?

21 April 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

They say dogs have a strong sense of smell. POOMP! Fortunately, they can't smell a kick coming.

22 April 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Radar detects an edible substance on the surface, sir! Up periscope! -

23 April 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Are you trying to make me jealous? Come to breakfast, Garfield. How's your coffee, Garfield? Not bad. Good.

24 April 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Those tonsils will have to come out, Mr, Arbuckel I'm putting you in the hospital. Okay, doc. Hospitel? JON! DON'T GO! How touching, a cat who's concerned about his owner. WHO'S GOING TO FEED ME?!!

25 April 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Aunt Gussie will take care of you while I'm in the hospitel having my tonsils removed. Aunt Gussie?! Oh, great! Oh, come on. She's a sweet old lady. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you meant the same aunt Gussie who was kicked out of the marinesfor unnecessary r

26 April 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I miss Jon, Odie. Let's go visot him in the hospital. And while we're there, we'll see if they can reverse lobotomies.

27 April 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Good boy, Mr. Arbuckle! I see we cleaned our plate. She's mistaken. Nobody can stomach hospital food with the possible exception of... You were expecting maybe Dr. Schweitzer?

28 April 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

What kind of a hospital is this, Jon? click The television doesn't work. click click click And how can you sleep on that bed?

29 April 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

How was your tonsillectomy, Jon? I can barely swallow. Awww, poor baby. Maybe I have your ice cream?

30 April 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

It's another "hurts to move" morning. Hello, what's this? A shoe, a single shoe. Why is it you find only one shoe in the trash? One shoe on a sidewalk? One shoe in the street? Why don't people pitch shoes in Paris?! KNOCK KNOCKKNOCK We'll just f

1 May 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, Garfield. How did you sleep? Like this. Z I see.

2 May 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

SPLOT I keep forgetting...it's wake up first, THEN eat.

3 May 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Why don't you go outside, Garfield? The fresh air will do you good. Maybe Jon's right. Z

4 May 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I don't understand. Cats are supposed to be sleek and vital. What happened to you? My great-uncle Ralph was a wart hog.

5 May 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

ROWF! ROWF! ROWF! Uh-oh! SCREEEEE Miss me?

6 May 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Relentless in his pursuit of food, the shark scours the ocean floor. Above him he spies the shadowy silhouette of a life raft with a lone survivor! -

7 May 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Z Odie looks like he's dreaming about chasing something. Z Let's see if he catches it. Z ZIP! CRASH! Yup. He caught the heat register. Z

8 May 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

The neighbors asked me to baby-sit for their fern. There instructions shouldn't be too difficult. "Step one: watering, see section 26, paragraph 12". Skip the step that says, "cats eat fern".

9 May 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

See you later, Garfield. I have to pick up spring water and fertilizer. Boy, is Jon spoiling that fern. I require only the simple things in life, like a long nap in a warm sunbeam. This has got to stop.

10 May 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

ARRRRGH! Burp. You ate the neighbor's prize fern! What an I going to do now?! I understand they're doing some splendid things with plastic these days.

11 May 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Not again? Garfield? Are you eating in here? CLICK Nobody here but us refrigerator magnets.

12 May 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

That's it! Gimme that remote control, Garfield. click click click GULP GARFIELD! click click Life just isn't fair, is it, Jon?

13 May 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I can see today is going to be a real yawn a minute.

14 May 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Even the Caped Avenger requires special effects. Z click! That's it! I'm tired of living with you bozos! I'm moving out an taking my stuff with me. How's apartment life, Garfield? With the exception of one nosy neighbor, not bad.

15 May 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Wake up, Garfield, Today is the first day of the rest of you life. Wake up, Garfield, Today is the first MEAL of the rest of your life. I can't resist a nicely turned phrase.

16 May 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

How do you want your eggs this morning, boys, too salty or too greasy? I'm tired of the same choice. Could you burn them? I'll try. You're a peach, Irma!

17 May 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, would you know what happened to my loaf of garlic bread? Why ask me? droop Rat fink daisies!

18 May 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

May I have this cupcake, PLEASE? Very well, you may have it. What's the problem, Garfield? I don't know if I want only a one "please" cupcake.

19 May 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Give me your honest opinion, Garfield. Do you think this outfit clashes? No. It's waging all-out war.

20 May 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

One thing I like about lethargy... You don't have to work at it.

21 May 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I hate it when I don't tan all over. chink! whizzzzzzz ZIP! CHOMP Sigh.

22 May 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, boys and girls! Good morning, Uncle Roy! I love you just the way you are! I love you too, uncle Roy! Of course, you could stand to lose a little weight... CLICK I wonder what Binky The Clown is up to?

23 May 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, boys and girls! I love you just the way you are! I love you too, Uncle Roy. Golly. I feel good today! And do you know why? Why? Because I have so many wonderful friends like you! Translation: Uncle Roy's ratings are up.

24 May 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Why, here comes Mr. Blue Jeans, the mailman. Morning, Mr. Blue Jeans. Any mail for me? You, Uncle Roy, here's a black tax notice and a copy of Leather and Bike Magazine. And here's a letter from you ex-wife's lawyer... This is a side ofUncle Roy I haven't

25 May 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's take a walk in my neighborhood, boys and girls. Would you like that? Sure, Uncle Roy. Here we are outside my hou... HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! HELP! BLINKY THE CLOWN'S STEALING MY HUBCAPS! It must be ratings week.

26 May 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, boys and girls! I love you just the way you are! I love you too, Uncle Roy! I'm in this cast today thanks to Binky The Clown who mugged me yesterday. But that's okay, because I love him just the way he is... BEHIND BARS! Uncle Roy'sonly human, I guess

27 May 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you know how to spot a lazy person? A truly lazy person never finishes any... Z

28 May 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you think the wizard will give me a brain? You didn't tell me you had family here, Odie. Hey, Odie. Is that your tongue or did you swallow a pair of Long Johns? By the way, I heard your fleas died of food poisoning. Oh, yes, Igorcalled. He said your br

29 May 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Here you go, Garfield. That's milk. It'll make your coat nice and shiny. I think I'll opt to molt. All cats love milk! When I was young I was frightened by an udder.

30 May 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Back, fleas! Look! A flea collar! POW! PING Some fool sold them guns! Nice shot, Ralph!

31 May 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

You know, Garfield, I've often wondered... Which are smarter? Cats? Or dogs? Speaking of dogs, where's Odie? He's fishing off the back of you rowing machine.

1 June 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I hate playing hide-and-seek with Odie. I've been in this basket for an hour. Maybe I shouldn't have found such a good hiding place. Or maybe I shouldn't have made Odie count to three.

2 June 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello? What's this? clickety clickety clickey Sensing an error in judgement, our hero slowly backs away...

3 June 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

OUCH! You wouldn't happen to know how this hole got in here would you? Rare oven mitt-eating moths, I suspect.

4 June 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

This is Odie-wan-Kanobe. He has the force to help us. He hides it well. EEEK! HELP! HWLP! HELP! Garfield, you sissy. I can't believe you're afraid of a little spider. I need your book. FWAP Thank you very much. EEEK!

5 June 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Goody! Here comes the mailman for his daily chomp. Wait! He's stopping. NO FAIR!

6 June 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

ARF! ARF! arf! arf! arf! Thank you, Mr. Stealth!

7 June 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

YOU ARE LAZY! Don't you have any goals in life? Yes, to eat an ostrich. Don't you wanna climb that mountain and yell, "I made it"? Ambition gives me a nosebleed.

8 June 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

You never move from that spot. Ah. But I've considered it. You're not even a cat. YOU'RE A SLUG WITH HAIR! Sure, kick me when I'm down!

9 June 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon called me a slug with hair. Well, I'm not taking it lying down! All right, I'll take it lying down. But, I won't like it.

10 June 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

From now on you're earning your keep around here. Here's a list of chores. Gee, thanks! Only moments ago I was a lazy worthless burden of society. Now I'm a procrastinator.

11 June 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, who had the keys last, deputy? Uh, Jon, you know how curious cats are, don't you? Well, I sorta found you car keys on the chest and Odie and I...uh, well... What are you trying to tell me, Garfield? VRMM CRASH Never mind.Tell me, Jon, is it bad when

12 June 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Yawn SHUFFLE SCRAPE SCRAPE SHUFFLE I was afraid of this. My birthday is creeping up on me.

13 June 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I know you're depressed about your upcoming birthday... But, remember you're only as old as you feel. Let's see...how old are you going to be? About 12 million years old, give or take a millenium.

14 June 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

In a few years I'll be ten years old. Just what IS ten? Ten is two hands and two toes.

15 June 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Why am I afraid of turning ten? Why am I afraid to admit that I'm aging? And why are turkey buzzards circling my bed?

16 June 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you'll soon be ten years old. And people handlse aging differently. Have you considered acting gracefully?

17 June 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I refuse to get any older without a fight! Do you hear that?! You'll have to drag me kicking and screaming into my next year. After the birthday cake and presents, of course.

18 June 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

If you brought me presents you may stay. Hey, Garfield, I just ran across the old family album. Ho boy. Our only thought is to entertain you. Feed me. Show me a good mouser, and I'll show you a cat with bad breath. We're inseparable,aren't we, Garfield? Y

19 June 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Ten?! Why you don't look ten! You look... You look like you're trying to convince yourself that you don't look ten.

20 June 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Starting today, I think younger! CRACK SNAP POP POP POP CRACK SNAP POP That goes for you too, bonies.

21 June 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Guess what we're going to do today? Here's a hintr. I start by hitting something with a club. We're going to play golf! Thank goodness. I thought he was getting desperate for a date.

22 June 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

This is a pretty tricky putt, Garfield. Which way do you think it will break? Hmmm I'd say, right.

23 June 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I've heard of tough golf courses... But quicksand traps?

24 June 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! SLUUUCK! I', slucking the cheese off your lasagna. SLUUUCK! You're slucking the cheese of my lasagna. Nothing escapes this man.

25 June 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you expect me to be seen in public with you dressed like that? CLICK Why do I stay up and watch those old horror movies? What if there's a monster under my bed? That's silly. A monster couldn't fit under there. Unless of course,it's a real thin monster

26 June 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

One thing you can say about Odie... He'll never have a mental breakdown. No moving parts.

27 June 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Aha! Girl scouts and their cookies approach! Halt! I see broken branches and cat tracks. There's a cat ambush up ahead! Rats! A girl scout scout.

28 June 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Look, mommy. Psst psst psst No, Johnny, it isn't! It doesn't have a trunk. Diet time.

29 June 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

What's the matter, Garfield? Lost your appetite? Sort of... it took another look at dinner and went into hiding.

30 June 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, no tricks, just honesty, I'm taking you to the vet for a checkup. You're right, Jon. Honesty is important in a relationship. SPLUT! NO, YOU'RE NOT.

1 July 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Doc, is Garfield's heart okay? Yes. Are his eyes okay? Yes. Are his teeth okay? Yes. Are his ears okay? Yes. Will you go out with me tonight? no. hope springs eternal.

2 July 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

That's not a lasagna, mate, THIS is a lasagna! Z Whoa, Simba! Z Why, it's an ancient ruin of a human being. WHUMP! Let's unearth this relic, Sibma. This must be a hand which is used to prepare food. And these must be feet thatcarried it to thr kitchen. Al

3 July 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

YAWN CHONK Hellooooo, monday.

4 July 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

How in the world am I gonna get out of this? Maybe if I just closed my mouth... -

5 July 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I relly don't think this is exactly the way to get me down, Odie. Why don't you try something else? -

6 July 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Congratulations, Odie! You did something right for a change! TOING!!

7 July 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, Odie, you almost broke any bone in my body, but you did get me down from the tree. Someday I hope to do the same for you. But not today.

8 July 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh sure, this may look comfortable. But it has its risks. Lip splinters are no laughing matters.

9 July 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

HEE HA HA HA HEE HEE HA HA HA HEE HA And now let's play "The Brain Game". Here's our quiz question. Be the first person to call with the correct answer and win a new house! Right, I'll just pick up the phone and tall you the answer. Ifyou were a

10 July 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield starts a new diet today. This also marks the first day of... Cheating.

11 July 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Yawn UNNGH! Diet time, Garfield. Shut up and get me a shoehorn.

12 July 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Not another carrot! I know it's diet week, but anything would taste better than this! Oh, well. MUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH Burp...not bad.

13 July 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

That was a great little nap. scratch scratch Oh, what the heck? They're small. I'll take two.

14 July 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

WHAM! Garfield! Dinner! I'd love to, but my lips are stuck in the mail slot.

15 July 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Tennis is one of my favorite sports. Do you have a favorite sport, Garfield? Natch.

16 July 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Now for a nice evening of television. BLIP! Rats! We must've blown a fuse! Garfield, use your cat instincts to guide me to the basement. OUCH!..HEY! Where are you leading me? I think we're in the basement. Never mind. We'll sleepright here till it gets l

17 July 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Bathrooms are fun. Here's a new one. VIP! YIP! YIP! The mummy lives.

18 July 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD!

19 July 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

CREEEEEEEK Th emummy awakens from a sleep of 3000 years. And sets his snooze alarm for another century.

20 July 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Boy, am I starved. I wonder what mummies eat? *

21 July 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I remember breakfast back home. Lying in bed. The smell of bacon on the griddle... The sound of mom giggling as she made patterns in the potato pancakes with my baby shoes. She's a disturbed woman.

22 July 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

On your mark... Get set... PLOP Z

23 July 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I, Garfield, Prince of Chraming, hve just awakened you with a kiss. It wasn't the kiss. It was the smell of sardines and pumpernickel on your breath. hee hee hee YAAAH! EEEEK!!! That would have been funnier had his brain notbeen in another time zone.

24 July 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

RIIINNNGGG! Better hit the ol' snooze alarm. RIIINNG! SNNOORE

25 July 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I wish Jon would get off my back. He says I'm not pulling my weight around here. boing! picky, picky, picky.

26 July 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you're tha laziest cat I know. You never met my grandfather. He was too lazy to get up to eat. He'd lie on the floor and throw his dentures at the refrigerator.

27 July 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm not appreciated out here. AAAYIEEEE!!! I spend all morning greasing his shoes and not even a thank you.

28 July 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you know how to tell the difference between a raisin cookie and a chocolate chip cookie? POOEY! Neither do I.

29 July 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

You fell off the curtains. So much for mountain climbing. I thought cats are supposed to land on their feet. So much for myth. CATS DON'T LAND ON THEIR FEET! So much for mystique.

30 July 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

One for me and all for me. Does that sound right to ypu?! bat bat bat bat bat bat ZIP FWAP FWAP FWAP That's a familiar sound. We've gotta put a stop to this, Garfield. * There, this venetian blind should do the trick. ZIPCHU-CHUNG -

31 July 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Dear Mom, How are you? everything's the same here... We need more fuit. I'm sorry to say.

1 August 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

There are many ways to deal with depression. Some people buy a new hat. In order to depress others.

2 August 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Morning, Garfield. Have a good sleep? It was a decent sleep, even a better-than-average sleep. A sleep, perhaps, thet the uninitiated might think a first-rate sleep, but not a sleep that we conoisseurs would consider... I'm sorry I asked!

3 August 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

So, what'll it be? Door number one? Door number two, or door number three? How about channel number four? CLICK

4 August 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

drip drip drip drip CLICK CLICK drip drip drip drip

5 August 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

We'll be back right soon so please don't touch that dial. HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! I SAAAAID, "DON'T TOUCH THAT DIAL"! Talk about ratings through intimidation.

6 August 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

This is great, Jon. What are you going to have? * Hey, Garfield. Did you know muscles earn you respect? Did you know chicks go crazy over guys with big muscles? Did you know you can flex fat?

7 August 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, all you're good for is lying around and collecting dust. You got it. I don't suppose you'd like to exercise with me? You got it again. Well, taht's fine with me! Thank you.

8 August 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

This is it, little buddy. Today I start weight training and take my first step toward hunkhood! UNNNNGH! HYAH! My hero.

9 August 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

You know, Garfield, exercise really pays. Not enough. Know what I got from lifting weights? A hernia? Rippling biceps! That reminds me. How about spaghetti for dinner?

10 August 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

UNNNGH! BWOIK! Very funny!

11 August 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Weight lifing has really helped me, Garfield! Just look at that muscle! Oooo, let me feel! You killed it! The poor thing was sick.

12 August 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

You're looking trim these days, Mr. Arbuckle. What's your secret? Diet? Exercise? Garfield started sleeping on my stomach. That should do it. Why don't you guys get off my case?

13 August 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Tell you what, Garfield, If I give you one of my hamburgers, will you stop staring at me? Agreed! -

14 August 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

YAWN * Morning, Garfield, ** * You coffee's on the table *

15 August 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, your snoring kept me up half the night. You didn't stop until six A.M. I know. That's when I inhaled my blanket.

16 August 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK I guess I'd better get my shoes off. SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK I guess I'd better wash my socks. Oh, yuk!

17 August 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I must have been hungry last night, Jon. I dreamt I was eating flowers, millions of 'em. What are you trying to say, Garfield? You're missing some wallpaper.

18 August 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

KLUNK KLUNK KLONK Sigh. It's tough to fluff a bed-box.

19 August 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Starting today, I'm going to work on being more peasant. BOOT! Have a nice day!

20 August 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD! Who else? Hmmm You are about to witness my finest hour. Garfield, you are a genius. Ah, customers! Oh, Brett! This is perfect! I love it! You're right, Mona. A little paint and some wallpaper and we'll more right in. Alittle wha?! WHA...? It's a

21 August 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

If I ruled the world, do you know what I would do? I know what I would do. I would make all people live in harmony. I would eat lasagna till it came out my nose. And I would make cats stop being so self-serving. And dogs would beoutlawed!

22 August 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Here comes the scariest part of the movie. I CAN'T LOOK! TELL ME WHEN IT'S OVER! Was it scary? Not bad.

23 August 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's a picture of me back on the farm. Things were really tough then. Here's dad trying to milk a pig. That explains a lot.

24 August 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's a picture of my brother and me. Boy we were pretty wild. An night we'd sneak out of our room... Then we'd fill our shoes with chicken feed and run through the henhouse! Two real fugitives from justice.

25 August 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

This is ridiculous. You're so finicky. There, all the ends are tied together. One-slurp spaghetti.

26 August 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

George! That cat is at the window again! Don't worry, Martha. He can't get in here. What's that noise?! skreeeeee Sounds like a glass cutter! Call the police!

27 August 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Not to fear, friar Odie. I've done this a hundred times, so I'm bound to get it right sooner or later. Z Z BRINNNNG! Come here, you little...and I'll rip your hands off. BRINNG! I assume there's an explanation. Careful, Jon!They travel in pairs.

28 August 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Do we have any potato chips left, Garfield? I'll check. Nope.

29 August 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, Garfield. A rookie! I've heard a lot about you. I'm famous! They say you're vicious! Let me autograph your leg.

30 August 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

ARR ARR ARR ARR ARR ARR ARR Dogs are stupid. SLAP SLAP SLAP With bad breath. SNAP Bu, I love'em anyway.

31 August 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, Garfield. 'morning, Jon. What's this meatball doing in your bed? I put one there every night. That's weird. He must not believe in the spaghetti fairy.

1 September 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

The trouble with you, Garfield, is you think you're human. You're right. I gotta do something about this inferiority complex.

2 September 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Look! A mouse! Act like a cat, Garfield! Okay. Z

3 September 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Whew! I was beginning to think I'd never get full. BURP! Lah-lah-lah-lah-lah-lah-laaaaaahhh I hope the writer's strike ends soon. And now, back to the Binky the Clown show! HEEEEEEEY, KIDS!!! Good morning, Binky! It's a beautiful dayin Binkyland. Let's sa

4 September 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

whirrrrrrrrr Garfield, where are you? By the electric pencil sharpener being bored. And just what are we doing? We are seeing which common household objects can hold a point.

5 September 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

We're bored. You said it. Hey, I have an idea! Well, we're not bored anymore. You're right. We're bored AND stupid looking.

6 September 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Depressed, Garfield? Yo. Well, look on the bright side. Compared to absolute, hopeless despair, depressed is cheerful! I feel better already.

7 September 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you have to be the world's laziest cat! ALL RIGHT! This boy's priorities are badly misplaced.

8 September 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Howdy, stranger. Garfield, I hate to tell you this... But, sleeping next to a picture of the Grand Canyon is not camping out. You're standing in my camp fire!

9 September 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Ha-ha! The last doughnut and it's all mine! Why are you smiling, Garfield? I already licked the sugar off. Hey! This tastes like baby powder.

10 September 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

This painting of you is lacking something, Garfield. Yeah, a resemblance. Garfield, are you lying on my sandwich? You might say that. Hey, misterm may we bury your cat in the sand? Sire, go ahead. Thanks, mister. You're in trouble.Have fun, kids. I must a

11 September 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

That's strange. I forgot why I came in here. Oh well. It will occure to me later. Hopefully before he gets to the grocery store.

12 September 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's the news! ...uh! Gee, this is small print. Unfortunately, I can't see a thing without my glasses. SO here's a song! * Feeeliiiiings * You should see the weather tap-dance.

13 September 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

In case you're interested, watches don't float.

14 September 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield! Let's go to the beach! Not today. Where's your spirit of adventure? The spirit is willing but the flesh is fat.

15 September 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

There must be some way to escape this fat. Nah, it would just find my forwarding address.

16 September 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Ready to order, hon? What?s your special today, Irma? "Chicken Surprise". Great. We'll take two. SURPRISE! SURPRISE! You distract her. I'll call the hospital. Got it.

17 September 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

It's too early in the morning for "cute". Cats are the greatest hunters on earth. Watch me sneak up on that bird. Cats are silent stalkers, deftly stepping between the dry leaves. Remaining absolutely motionless, cats wait for theperfect moment

18 September 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's a famous phrase for you, Garfield. "Curiosity killed the cat". My uncle Bernie coined that one. Right afte rhe coined the phrase, "never listen for a train by putting your ear on a train track".

19 September 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Winter of '83, summer of '79, spring of '86. I love these trips down memory lane... Checking the expiration dates in Jon't refrigerator.

20 September 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Dressing properly is a art, Garfield. Rule number one, a tie is the extension of one's personality. Rule number two, never tuck your shirt into your underwear.

21 September 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Have you noticed how Odie is always smiling, Garfield? His parents were hyenas. Why don't you ever smile? I have my reasons. If he thought he were pleasing me, he'd stop trying.

22 September 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Maybe Garfield won't eat THIS fern. Do you know what this is? I sure do. It's the triumph of hope over experience.

23 September 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Stay tuned. coming up next is some mindless drivel guaranteed to insult your intellect. Jon! Your show's on!

24 September 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Definitely no more pizzas with anchovies and chocolate syrup before bedtime. CRASH! CRASH! I meant to do that.

25 September 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

He actually moved. One side was getting flat.

26 September 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon! You're home! Good to see you! Where's the candy bar I had in my pocket?

27 September 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD! CUT THAT OUT! Cut what out? Bird Feeder

28 September 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

You might be interested to know while YOU were asleep, I caought a mouse. Good boy.

29 September 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

JON! JON! ODIE'S FOAMING AT THE MOUTH! MAD DOG! MAD DOG! By the way, you're out of shaving cream.

30 September 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I MUST KISS YOU! Kiss! Kiss! Smooch! Kiss! Kiss! Oh, baby, baby! Car commercial.

1 October 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

My crystal ball tells me I'm going to have fish for lunch. OH NO! GARFIELD! YOU'VE GOTTA HELP ME! I'm late for my date! Which socks should I wear? My shirt! Does it go with my socks?! TIES! I HAVE TOO MAY TIES! THERE ARE TOO MANYDECISIONS TO MAKE! Yeah, d

2 October 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I just can't ge tmotivated today, Garfield. Don't fight it. There's so much work to do. Ignore it, it'll go away. I've been bitten by the lazy bug. I ate him.

3 October 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon't driving me crazy. He's trying to grow a beard. Do I look distiguished yet? Welcome to the family.

4 October 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's a new diet, Garfield. It's called the "Ramone Diet". If you overeat, this guy named "Ramone" comes by and fattens your lips. Crude, but effective.

5 October 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

You cats hardly have a care in the world, do you? Your biggest worry is probably about the pet door sticking and your getting caught outside. -

6 October 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield. Here comes the mailman. Looks like you won't be able to shred his pants today. He's wearing shorts. Then I'll just have to pluck a few leg hairs.

7 October 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

What's this? It's from the pudding-of-the-month club. I don't recall joining any club. Do you, Garfield? Dibs on the butterscotch!

8 October 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

This space for rent GARFIELD Jon has no sense of humor. unscrew unscrew unscrew SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE Good morning, Garfield. PLOP GOOSH! Garfield! One more trick and no more TV for a week! Uh, about your croissant.

9 October 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Dieting is like show business. The weight always returns for an encore.

10 October 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

WHIP A little sensitive about our weight, are we? My weight, my business.

11 October 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Cut that out, Garfield. If you don't stop staring at me, I'm leaving the room! THERE! HAPPY?! Quite.

12 October 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, watching you eat takes me back to my farm days. snort gulp slurp We raised hogs. slurp gulp snort SQUEEE! SQUEEE! How would you like cat food shoved up your snout?

13 October 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Go away, dog. You're washing the wax off my shoes. Don't you understand English? Is your dog one of them foreign breeds? No, he's one of them mindless breeds.

14 October 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Wanna go jogging, Garfield? No thanks. A new report says that too much air can prematurely age your lungs. I'm going. Well, don't come crying to me with wrinkled lungs.

15 October 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Wanna look thinner? Hang around with people fatter than you. The cat senses the approach of danger. rrrrr The dog approaches, bent on wreaking havoc on the cat. AR! AR! AR! AR! AR! AR! The dog threatens to dismember the cat. Thecat bares a perfunctory cla

16 October 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Time to get up, Garfield. Go away. Come on, Mr. Grumpy, rise and shine! Never touch "Mr. Grumpy" before noon.

17 October 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Rats. I hate static electricity. So do I.

18 October 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, this toy was designed by animal psychologists. TO appeal to a house pet's playful instincts. DOING DOING Enjoy.

19 October 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Three sardine cans... Four cupcake wrappers. a pizza box... Why, Garfield? Because breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

20 October 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

And now, the late, late, late show presents... "Night of the Zombie Plumbers" in 3-D! I've been up too long.

21 October 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Congratulations, Garfield! You've mastered the chopsticks! Now, dive in! GULP!

22 October 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Nope...I've not seen him, marshal. ZIP! ZIP! Good morning, Garfield.

23 October 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Paste SWIPE PUNT! Odie?

24 October 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

That's it! I'm fed up with Jon! I'm fed up with Odie! I can't think of a single thing I like about this house! The roof...I'm rather fond of the roof.

25 October 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Z Z HEE HEE HEE

26 October 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Time for bed, Garfield. Z I said, time for bed. Z When he sleeps, he sleeps. Z

27 October 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello? Dr. Wilson? Yes, I'm afraid it's Garfield again. He chewed the knobs off the TV during a pizza commercial. I'm only human.

28 October 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Tah-dah! What's with you? You'd think he'd be more impressed with someone who just ate the entire contents of a house. Hey! Where did the refrigerator go?

29 October 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

The big dripper. DINNERTIME! Hungry, Garfield? Is Odie stupid? Great! let's go to the refrigerator and find something to eat. Come on, Odie. Don't do it, Jon! I'd better go to the rescue. SLAM! Clean out the refrigerator, Jon!

30 October 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Good evening, ladies and germs! tappity tappity SPLAT! BOP! WHAP! I see some of you stayed for the second show.

31 October 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I knew a dog who was so stupid, he chased bones and buried cars! ROWF! BARK! MEOW! YIP GRRR ARF! Dog Pound Who booked me into this joint anyway?

1 November 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

* MEROWW * TINK! Hey! A caviar tin! I'm attracting a higher class of hecklers!

2 November 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

You know, Garfield, we're not getting any younger. Maybe we should start planning for our future. You're right. Where are we going? TO make up a grocery list.

3 November 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I like it when I'm home alone. The entire house is MINE. And this is MINE, and this is MINE, and this is MINE...

4 November 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I didn't know you could touch your toes, Garfield. And you thought I was out of shape. Are you okay? Don't just stand there, All the paramedics!

5 November 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I've always wondered, what do you do with all the raisins you pick off your cookies? That's none of your business. Oh well, I guess I'll go clean out the coat closet today. I wouldn't do that if I were you. YAAAAHHH!!! Veryfunny, Garfield. Just

6 November 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Any specials today, Irma? I'll check. Hey, Bubba! Anything in the trap this morning? Check please.

7 November 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

What's the soup of the day? Hoboy. Well now, what day IS today? Tuesday. Well then, that would make it TUESDAY'S soup, wouldn't it now? Makes sense to me.

8 November 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's your burger. plop Uh, don't I get a bun? Oh! You want our DELUXE burger! Go for it, Jon! Get the super deluxe and get a plate, too.

9 November 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD! WAIT! Most kinds of spiders are completely harmless. Jon...you're right. Especially the dead kinds! WHAP!

10 November 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I don't feel like scratching your belly. I have better things to do. Like mending your shredded shirt?

11 November 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

BOMP! I love volleydog.

12 November 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

That's the last time I hide pet snacks on my person. Some pets are well behaved, and then there are my pets. I can't leave them alone for a second, watch this. So long, boys! I'll only be gone for a second! One. I rest my case.

13 November 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

It's going to be one of those mondays.

14 November 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

pick pick pick pick Do you know what you get when you pick the raisins off your toast? Swiss toast!

15 November 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

brrrrrr . Is it me, or is the hous freezing this morning? TINK TINK It ain't me.

16 November 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

And here's a photo of you with the pigs on my folk's farm last summer. You're the one with the stripes.

17 November 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Boy, this exercising is tough. It's giving me a headache. Try loosening your sweatband.

18 November 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I can't believe Judy asked us to leave her party. By the way, what were you doing in the salad bowl? Bobbing for croutons. Boy was she mad. You'd think she'd never had hair on her tomato wedges before.

19 November 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

35 days, 5 hours, 36 minutes and 4 seconds till Christmas. CLICK Z Z Wha? Who?! Are you a monster?! SLURP! Odie! It's you! Sure, you can sleep with me. Yaaah! Now who are YOU?! CLICK GARFIELD! What are you trying to do? Scareus?

20 November 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

What a great meal! Isn't it a shame there's no unit of measure for how good food tastes? Ah, but there is... It's called a calorie.

21 November 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you think you'd ever like to have a statue erected in your memory, Garfield? Yeah! If they could make it so it could eat pigeons.

22 November 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Wait'll you see what I bought, Garfield. TAH-DAH! It's amazing the things people would rather have than money.

23 November 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder what Garfield is doing with that salad dressing? KEEP AWAY FROM THE FERNS! Too late.

24 November 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Tell me, Garfield. Would you say this milk shake is half full or half empty? Completely empty! Care to get philosophical about those french fries?

25 November 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Dinner's on, Garfield. Oh, nothing for me, thanks. I'm not hungry. WHO ARE YOU, AND WHAT DID YOU DO WITH GARFIELD?! That was a joke.

26 November 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

WAH! Hey, Odie! Fetch, boy! DONK PLOP SHOOM! Odie, you stupid idiot! That's a fire hydrant! Not a bone! Oh well, maybe this will make a nice planter or something. squeak squeak I don't even want to know.

27 November 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

My Captain Lamo laser poweres direction finder, decode ring! I hate cats.

28 November 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

And now! ...your favorite game show! Bowling for cheese! Uh-oh! The audience is small, but loyal.

29 November 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, look. The mailman's hand is stuck in the mailbox. How tragic. How sad.

30 November 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Z OUCH! Your eyebrows needed thinning.

1 December 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't you just love all this snow, Garfield? You and Odie should be romping about having the time of your lives. Where is he anyway? I'm standing on him.

2 December 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

HEW, GARFIELD! YOUR MORNING BREATH IS AWFUL. You're telling me. My teeth melted.

3 December 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I've got to stop dieting. I gain too much weight. Read yto go out, guys? Ask me again in the spring. Have fun in the snow, boys. SLAM! FOOMP! Odie! Are you okay? ARRRRGH! Wimp.

4 December 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Gee, I can't decide whether to have some pie or some cake. Have some pie.

5 December 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon, there's a lump in the tablecloth. Flatten it out with this french bread. Wait a minute! Where's Odie` Who's Odie?

6 December 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Look, Garfield! I'm touching my toes! I'm happy for you, Jon. This is great exercise. Why don't you join me? Sounds a bit strange, but, okay. -

7 December 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon, I have something to tell you. The refrigerator stopped running so I ate all the food before it spoiked. Somebody unplugged the refrigerator! I know.

8 December 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

As a joke, I have tied Jon's shoelaces together. Z And, as a bonus joke, I have attached this rope to an airliner about to leave for Italy. WHA! SHOOP! Bring back pizza!

9 December 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield? What happened to the cookies I had in this jar? That was a stupid question. I'll say.

10 December 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Wanna popsicle, Jon? Ho-hum. What a boring, dreary existence this is. GRRRR BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! RRRRRRRR What a boring, dreary existence this is.

11 December 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I have a big date tonight, Garfield. Do you think I'll make a good impression? Good, no. Accurate, yes.

12 December 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Boy, am I sleepy. YAWN I think I saw the sweat sock I lost last week.

13 December 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Boy, am I bored...bored, bored, bored, bored. It's sure a quiet day. Quiet, quiet, quiet day.

14 December 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Ah, yes. There it is. That old Christmas spirit is in the air once again. What would you like for breakfast, Garfield? A blueberry waffle, please. AND A CAR, A PONY AND A VILLA IN THE SOUTH OF FRANCE!

15 December 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

That's right. Stay just like that, Odie. * Oh, Joooon * I Get the hint, Garfield. Subtle as it is.

16 December 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Look, Odie. We may have a white Christmas after all. Wait a minute! That looks like feathers! MY PILLOW! Scrooge.

17 December 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon, I think it was a mistake to bring Odie. YAWN Why, thank you, Garfield. Odie! You fixed breakfast! How sweet. Thanks, Garfield. It's a bit drafty in here. Uh, thank you, Odie. SCREEEEE By the way, boys, this attentionwouldn't have anything to do with

18 December 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, Garfield, it's that time of year again! Time to wash your socks? Time to get a Christmas tree! What's wrong with the one we have?

19 December 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I got our Christmas tree. Close the door, will yuh? SLAM! I meant AFTER I got the tree in! You should have been more specific.

20 December 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, there it is, Garfield. The most beautiful Christmas tree ever... Once again, the law of gravity rears its ugly head.

21 December 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Only three days 'til Christmas. Go back to bed, Garfield.

22 December 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

* ** Darn thing's defective.

23 December 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

'TIS THE SEA-SON TO BE JOL-LY * FA-LA-LA-LA-LAAAH LA-LAH-LAH... la

24 December 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Z BARK! Oh yeah, it's Christmas morning. The morning I have to get up early, be nice to people, skip breakfast... Urf! I love you, Garfield! I wish it would never end. Merry Christmas! Jim Davis 12.25

25 December 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

BRINNNG! DONK Only 364 more days till Christmas!

26 December 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD! HEY, GARFIELD! What's your new year's resolution? You just woke me from it!

27 December 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you should start the year out on the right foot. Which one? I have som any. You should resolve to lose weight. I tried that last year. I lost my resolve instead.

28 December 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to make a new year's resolution! This year, I resolve to... Pay attention to where I point.

29 December 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

This year, I resolve to be gentler with Odie! push

30 December 1988
 
 
   
Garfield

A new year's resolution. Eating will no longer be a vice of mine. Henceforth, it will be a hobby.

31 December 1988
 




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