garfield :: (null)

		» 1 January 1988 »
Z - Oh, no! What happened to my toes?! -
1 January 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
In the natural order of things, cats aren't fat, Garfield. - PURRR Oh, very well. - In the natural order of things, humans ARE gullible, though.
2 January 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Pretty impressive, eh, Arlene. Yes, impressive that those legs can move my body. - - Unngh! - GUH! - AAAAAK! - HIYAAAHGHA! - One!
3 January 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Some egg foo young, Garfield? Sure. - Hoe about some moo goo gai pan. Do you know what I like about chinese food? - It's as much fun to say as it is to eat!
4 January 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Still haven't mastered those chopsticks, huh, Garfield? - Mastered? ...no. - Perfected? ...yes.
5 January 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I knew you'd like chinese food, Garfield, but Im surprised you ate the octopus. Octopus? - ACK! COUGH HACK BLECK! - Actually it wasn't half bad.
6 January 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Gimme that fortune cookie. - Beware of the SPLUT! - SPLUT!
7 January 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Impressions! - A clock! - CUCKOO CUCKOO Tah-dah! Aren't they cute?
8 January 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
psssssh - This stuff is guaranteed to keep pets off the furniture. It's so easy it's almost unfair.
9 January 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I can feel monday creeping up. - Now for a nice loooong nap. - Presenting RIP VAN GARFIELD The Story Of A Catnap... Z - That Lasted 50 Years! For the first time in my life, I feel rested! - Some Things Had Changed... Roof! Roof! - Some Things
10 January 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I hate mondays. I need something to cheer me up. - PUNT! - Even gravity has it in for me today!
11 January 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Garfield! What are you doing? Uh...push-ups? - The vet put you on a diet. I want a second opinion. - How about a nice leaf of lettuce? PLease! If I laugh I might snort an anchovy!
12 January 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I'm so hungry from my diet I couldn't sleep last night. - Thereby depriving me of food AND sleep, two of three things I live for. - If the third weren't self-pity, I'd kill myself.
13 January 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- - Must you play with your food? Who's playing? I'm picking out vitamins.
14 January 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Garfield! You lost another pound! - I'm so proud of you! Jon's so naive. - It's the same pound I lose every week.
15 January 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Where would you like to eat, Garfield? - This place? How come? - ERNIE'S Eat Till You Explode Restaurant Let's just say, I have a good feeling about it.
16 January 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Hey, kid, isn't that Halley's comet? - - - - - RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! IT'S A RABID MUSKRAT! - - I like the part where he made you fetch it on all fours. Oh, shut up.
17 January 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Are you sleeping again? - I am NOT sleeping. - I'm checking my eyelids for light leaks.
18 January 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Hey, you bought new socks! - Here, let me break 'em in for you. - Gotta Dance Gotta Dance So this is why my feet have been itching.
19 January 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Excuse me, Irma, there's a hair in my soup. - How do you know it's not one of yours? - I use smaller rollers.
20 January 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Hey, look, Garfield, Odie's standing on his head! So? - Isn't that amazing?! Not really. - How does he do that? I glued his head to the table.
21 January 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
They say cats can see in the dark. - CLICK Hey! It's true! I CAN see! - I see a whole lot of dark.
22 January 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I shall now derive great pleasure from kicking Odie off this table. - CRASH! - THAT WAs DARNED INCONSIDERATE!
23 January 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- There's nothing like a quiet evening at home. click - click click click click - gobble gobble gobble - DONK! - scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch - Not around here, at any rate.
24 January 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Guess who this letter is from? Your parents. - They're paying us a visit! Know how I knew that? - Who else uses barnyard scented stationery?
25 January 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Mom! Dad! Welcome to the big city! Ha! You call this one-horse burg big? - Uh...care to freshen up? Like from a sink? Sure! Do it all the time! - Your father's determined not to be taken for a country bumpkin. Cut the chat. My tractor's
26 January 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Is dad okay, mom? He sounds a little hoarse. He's a little upset with you on that subject. - With me? In your last letter you said you made your plants grow by talking to them. - You don't mean?... Ever try to give a pep talk to 40 acres of
27 January 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Here it is, dad, a modern bathroom with all the conveniences. I knoe that! What kind of rube do you think I am? - CRACK! MODERN CONVENIENCES, HA! CHEAP, YOU MEAN! - Pumped the handle twice and it snapped like a twig!
28 January 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I have a big day planned for us tomorrow, so don't forget to set your alarm, dad. - What time? Four A.M.? Uh...whenever. - Four o'clock, got that? Either he goes, or I go!
29 January 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Rise and shine, cat! On the farm we get up with the chickens. So do we. - Except our chickens are in the freezer. - SO THE MINUTE YOU SEE ONE OF THEM UP AND AROUND GIVE ME A CALL!
30 January 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I think he's falling for it! Lasagna Flavored Hibiscus - Uh-oh. - Look, cat, it's like this...I'm a flowering plant. - I bring joy to this dreary existence. - My delicate blossoms offer beauty, grace and a sense of hope to this life. - Plant,
31 January 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Garfield, you're not still mad at me for serving you that rubber pizza last night are you? Nah. - And you're not planning some sinister revenge, are you` I'm bigger than that. - Maybe I'm just paranoid.
1 February 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Look, Garfield! This is my first serious attempt at making gourmet food. "first humorous" attempt is more like it. - I call it "chicken surprise". Somehow, I'm not surprised. - Fresh from the oven. I know. I heard the microwave laughing.
2 February 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Forget it, Garfield. I'm planning to enjoy this ALONE. - GULP! - Now, you're alone.
3 February 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Come oin, scale. Can't you see I'm waiting for your verdict? - I don't know if I have the heart to tell you this... - You have a heart? You have a face?
4 February 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Get off! I can't breathe! - Notify my next of kin! - I WANT it to die. If I had eyes my life would be passing before them!
5 February 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Sit up, Odie. Sit up, boy! - COME ON! SIT UP! Good luck, Jon. - It took Odie three years to learn to breathe.
6 February 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Sigh. - Nobody loves me. I'm just old and fat. - Look mommy! A little kitty. She said, "little"! - Here, little kitty kitty kitty. Bless you, child! - Well, I wouldn't exactly say "little," dear. What would you say, mommy? - Hmm, how about
7 February 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I hate february. - But february starts out irritating, becomes boring and ends up depressing. - February is the "monday" of months.
8 February 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I think I'll write a book! A book about a handsome, debonair cat who saved the world from alien invaders, ended war and solved world hunger. - Nah. - There are already too many autobiographies out there.
9 February 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
The most important part of writing a book is picking a good title. I think I'll call mine "Nights Of Indiscretion". - No, no. A writer must write something he knows about. - That's it! I'll call it "Nights Of Indigestion".
10 February 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
THAT'S IT! - I have just come up with a cure for writer's cramp! - Writer's block.
11 February 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Most kids love snow. - Most kids love building forts and throwing snaowballs. - Mine are out for world domination.
12 February 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
If Oj'n not going to let us in, I say we break the door in! - TAP - It's tough building up a full head of steam in deep snow.
13 February 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Yes, Odie, I'd say that hook is fairly important. - Z - Z - POOF - CHOOM! - - ZOOM! - I thought you were asleep! I was, my STOMACH wasn't.
14 February 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Garfield, you just had your morning nap. What are you doing back in bed? Taking your advice. - You said, "never put off until tomorrow what you can do today". - This is tomorrow morning's nap.
15 February 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- - Okay, I give. I was measuring the refrigerator for a pet door.
16 February 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
It's fun finding familiar shapes in clouds. - That one looks like Odie, same ears, same stupid expression... - The same slobber.
17 February 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- So, what's your problem, guys? - We demand separate closets!
18 February 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Here I am again, pondering my existence. - ...my relationship with the universe. - ...my having eaten too much to move.
19 February 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I wish there were a sign to make you realize how fat you are, Garfield. - RUMBLE RUMBLE - And what does THAT tell you? That I shall be having my meals on the floor from now on.
20 February 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
That's the last time I let you steer, Odie. - - Whee! I love snow. Yeah! As long as the neighbor kids don't spot us. - SPLUT! SPLUT! - - Hey, cat! Give us the kitten and we'll let you live. - NOT A CHANCE, YOU TURKEYS! IT'S ALL FOR ONE AND
21 February 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- CLICK! - What is it, Garfield?! Is there a thief? Is the house on fire?! Worse! The light in the refrigerator is out!
22 February 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
pant pant Odie drips so much maybe I should call a plumber! - - That's a figur eof speech, Garfield.
23 February 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
drip drip drip drip drip drip drip - SQUEAK -
24 February 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Garfield, I hope you're not thinking of climbing my curtains. - I wouldn't dream of climbing your stupid curtains, Jon. - But, to be the first cat ever to lead an expedition up the southwest face of Mt. Everest, that's another matter!
25 February 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Climber's log: 12,000 feet up Mt. Everest and the going is slow. - At this altitude oxygen is scarce. The experienced climber knows he must rest often. - Z Now I've seen everything.
26 February 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- That's my pie, Garfield, so HANDS OFF! - PLOOT nnngh!
27 February 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
You squished my banana. - I have a blind date, tonight, what should I wear? - Maybe I'll go with the rustic look... - Or suave and sophisticated. - Or she might go for the athletic type. - DING! DONG! That's her! How do I look? Perfect. - I'm
28 February 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
You know, Garfield, maybe we should skip dessert tonight. - SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP - JON! SPEAK TO ME! YOU'RE DELIRIOUS, MAN! Thanks, I needed that.
29 February 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
It says here, owners and their pets often look alike. - - I think I'll go shave. I think I'll go have plastic surgery done.
1 March 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Cats evoke many emotions in people...love, pleasure, wonder... - - and guilt.
2 March 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
You know, before we start our meal, it might be nice to bow our heads and give thanks. - Good idea. - THANKS! PLOP You're missing the point, Garfield.
3 March 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Garfield, you're a disgrace to your species. - Actually, I'm rather unique. - I'm one of the few mammals who can breathe under food.
4 March 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Have some water, little fella. - Now, I'll let you drain for a bit. - I knoew this would happen if Jon didn't clean the garbage disposal.
5 March 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Come on, Odie, LIFT - tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity - What are you doing, Garfield? Guess! - Are you dancing? Are you upset? Nope. - Are you hungry? Guess AGAIN. - Are you trying to warn me about something? You'll never guess. - ARE
6 March 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I hate mondays. Me, too. - Why are YOU looking depressed? YOU don't work. - Sympathy pains.
7 March 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- They say, "You are what you eat". - MOOOO
8 March 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Garfield, wake up. - Do you know I can't remember the last time I heard you say "Meow"? - We'll talk about this in the morning. Jon doesn't have enough to occupy his mind.
9 March 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH - MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH - May I get you a snorkel? Are you trying to tell me something?
10 March 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Welcome to "Whistling For Dollars"! - The world's most stupid and boring game show. - Looks like the "truth in advertising" people struck again.
11 March 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
AHA! - Let's see you get out of this one gracefully. -
12 March 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- How do I look? Like a million, give or take a year. - I think I carry my weight rather well. You should. You've had the practice. - Do you think I'll loose my looks with age? With luck, you will. - Do you think I have a strong chin? Which
13 March 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Garfield, if a burglar broke into the house, would you risk your life to save me? - Excuse me. - HA! HA! HA! HA ha! ha! ha! Let me rephrase that.
14 March 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Irma, is this tea or coffee? What does it taste like? - It tastes like turpentine. - Oh, that's our coffee. Our tea tastes like transmission fluid.
15 March 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
A philosopher once said, !I think; therefore I am". - - Poor Odie, he isn't aware that he doesn't even exist.
16 March 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
It says here, an active fantasy can improve your personality. - I HAVE an active fantasy life. - When I'm eating, I fantasize about sleep. When I sleep, I fantasize about eating.
17 March 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Garfield, have you ever imagined yourself as really young again? Interesting. - Years of experience yet to be lived. Years of fun yet to be had. - Years of sleep yet to be slept.
18 March 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
munch munch munch - BURP - My compliments to the chief.
19 March 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
And then my cat grabbed the steering wheel, and... - YAWN - I wish I could get to sleep. - HOWDY! Who are you? - I'm the sand person, I help folks go to sleep. Really? - Yup. A few sprinkles of my magic sand and it's nighty night time. Lay it
20 March 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Good morning, Garfield. I fixed you eggs, bacon, cinnamon rolls and hot coffee. Let me at 'em! - WOAH! - Rats. Nice try, Jon, You almost got me up on a monday that time.
21 March 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
You have nothing to worry about, Mr. Arbuckle. - Licking the beaters on a cake mixer can't possibly harm your cat. - But, let's say that mixer was running at the time...
22 March 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
KICK - Why, Odie! Whatever gave you an idea like that? - THIS is a kick! POMP!
23 March 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Garfield, if you're going to act like a piece of furniture, I'm going to treat you like a piece of furniture. - Idle threats can't move me. - Ha ha ha. Very funny, Jon.
24 March 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Garfield, let's just stay in today and lounge around. - Okaaaay. - I feel sorta silly, but I'll give it a shot.
25 March 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- - GARFIELD! Perfect timing.
26 March 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
CRASH! - Hey, Garfield, guess what?! - We are going to roller-skate our way to health. - NOW, LET'S GET OUT THERE AND DO IT! - One side! Here comes your owner, the "Roller Skate King!" - AYIEEEEE! HONK! CRASH - - There goes my owner, the
27 March 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
You gotta take me to the vet, Jon. - I'm having trouble sleeping, It seems like I just get into bed... - And then, BOOM! Twelve or thirteen hours later I'm wide awake!
28 March 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
COUGH! WHEEZE! - This may be my last hour. Let me spend it in the comfort of my home! - Remembe rthe vet appointment, huh? I may never see these four walls again!
29 March 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
When I can't sleep, it seems like every sound in the house is magnified. - THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD - Must you?!
30 March 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Maybe a good book will help me sleep. - A good, BIG book. - whap whap whap Sleep! Sleep! Sleep!
31 March 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I know insomnia is no laughing matter, Garfield, so I'll keep you company. - Let's see...I think I'll regale you with some anectdotes from my life as a boy on the farm. - Z
1 April 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
What's your favorite kind of music? Rock? Jazz? Classical? - This way. - WHIRRRRR Git down! Uh-huh, uh-huh!
2 April 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- Hey, Odie. Let's put on a show for Jon. - TAPPITY TAPPITY TAPPITY - BLAT! SPLUT! - - Z - RIP!CLAW SLASH FITTT GRRR! - What did I do?
3 April 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
BRINNNG! - The worst part about being irritated by an inanimate object is there's no rational way to get back at it. - Fortunately, I'm not a rational person.
4 April 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
There's an old show biz saying, "find out what your audience wants and give it to them". - BONK! SPLAT! WHAP! - Apparently, my audience wants a target.
5 April 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Hello, Arlene, the cat of your dreams is here. - You're a dream? You bet'cha, baby. - I knew I shouldn't have eaten that pizza at bedtime. Ouch.
6 April 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Okay, Garfield, in ten seconds the timer will go off. click - Capturing for posterity a portrait of a sophisticated young man and his faithful companion. whirrrr - SNAP
7 April 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I think you're going to like this food, ferny. - It's 100% fish meal accor... - burp
8 April 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I swear, Garfield, you're a glutton who'll eat anything. - I AM NOT A GLUTTON! AND THIS ISN'T JUST ANYTHING - I am a performing artist and this is my repertoire.
9 April 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Howdy, ma'am! You new to these parts? - - BLUT - MOMMIEEE! - Oops! - EEEEEK! - - YIP! YIP! YIP! - WHI!!!! - YAH! This is not a good day in the vanity department.
10 April 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Garfield, why don't you like to go outside like other cats? - Right, like the time we went to the farm and I wrestled a chicken. - You're hopeless. It was humiliating being pinned by ac chicken.
11 April 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
So what's Mr. Excitement doing today? Collecting dust. - I'm going jogging. Wanna go? Can't you see I'm busy? - It would get your circulation going. Stop it! You're scaring the dust!
12 April 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Hey, Garfield, let's jog around the block. You'll get outside and give those lungs some exercise. No way. - I'm beginning to worry about you! - And close the door! I don't want any unnecessary air getting in here!
13 April 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Welcome to the early morning exercise show! - Ready? And one! And two! - Ha! Ha! Now you're getting it! It's easy to be cheery in the moring when you're prerecorded.
14 April 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Today I'm going to work on push-ups. - UNNNGH - So much for "push". Tomorrow we work on "up".
15 April 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
This is what we need, Garfield. A complete entertainment system. - It has something for everybody. Really? - Then this must be where you warm up the pizza.
16 April 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
CLICK - CLICK CLICK CLICK - CLICK CLICK CLICK - GIMME THAT! - CLICK Very well, Jon, have it your way. - CLICK - Speak softly and carry a big channel changer.
17 April 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- You watch a lot of TV. Do you know that, Garfield? - I can't read. What's your excuse?
18 April 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Boy are you fat! - Hey, guys! Get a load of lardo here! - WHUMP!
19 April 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
It's been a nice day, Garfield. - A peaceful day. - Which will end abruptly if you stop scratching my belly.
20 April 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
From now on I expect you to keep your area clean, Garfield. - So I bought you this little broom. - Where's the little maid to go with it?
21 April 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
They say dogs have a strong sense of smell. - POOMP! - Fortunately, they can't smell a kick coming.
22 April 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Radar detects an edible substance on the surface, sir! - Up periscope! -
23 April 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Are you trying to make me jealous? - Come to breakfast, Garfield. - - - - - - - - - How's your coffee, Garfield? - Not bad. Good.
24 April 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Those tonsils will have to come out, Mr, Arbuckel I'm putting you in the hospital. Okay, doc. Hospitel? - JON! DON'T GO! How touching, a cat who's concerned about his owner. - WHO'S GOING TO FEED ME?!!
25 April 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Aunt Gussie will take care of you while I'm in the hospitel having my tonsils removed. - Aunt Gussie?! Oh, great! Oh, come on. She's a sweet old lady. - Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you meant the same aunt Gussie who was kicked out of the marines
26 April 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I miss Jon, Odie. Let's go visot him in the hospital. - - And while we're there, we'll see if they can reverse lobotomies.
27 April 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Good boy, Mr. Arbuckle! I see we cleaned our plate. - She's mistaken. Nobody can stomach hospital food with the possible exception of... - You were expecting maybe Dr. Schweitzer?
28 April 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
What kind of a hospital is this, Jon? click - The television doesn't work. click click click - And how can you sleep on that bed?
29 April 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
How was your tonsillectomy, Jon? - I can barely swallow. Awww, poor baby. - Maybe I have your ice cream?
30 April 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
It's another "hurts to move" morning. - - Hello, what's this? - A shoe, a single shoe. - Why is it you find only one shoe in the trash? One shoe on a sidewalk? One shoe in the street? - Why don't people pitch shoes in Paris?! - KNOCK KNOCK
1 May 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Good morning, Garfield. How did you sleep? - Like this. - Z I see.
2 May 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- SPLOT - I keep forgetting...it's wake up first, THEN eat.
3 May 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Why don't you go outside, Garfield? The fresh air will do you good. - Maybe Jon's right. - Z
4 May 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Garfield, I don't understand. - Cats are supposed to be sleek and vital. - What happened to you? My great-uncle Ralph was a wart hog.
5 May 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
ROWF! ROWF! ROWF! - Uh-oh! SCREEEEE - Miss me?
6 May 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Relentless in his pursuit of food, the shark scours the ocean floor. - Above him he spies the shadowy silhouette of a life raft with a lone survivor! -
7 May 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- Z - Z - Odie looks like he's dreaming about chasing something. Z - Let's see if he catches it. Z - ZIP! - CRASH! - Yup. - He caught the heat register. Z
8 May 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
The neighbors asked me to baby-sit for their fern. - There instructions shouldn't be too difficult. - "Step one: watering, see section 26, paragraph 12". Skip the step that says, "cats eat fern".
9 May 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
See you later, Garfield. I have to pick up spring water and fertilizer. Boy, is Jon spoiling that fern. - I require only the simple things in life, like a long nap in a warm sunbeam. - This has got to stop.
10 May 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
ARRRRGH! Burp. - You ate the neighbor's prize fern! What an I going to do now?! - I understand they're doing some splendid things with plastic these days.
11 May 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Not again? - Garfield? Are you eating in here? CLICK - Nobody here but us refrigerator magnets.
12 May 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
That's it! Gimme that remote control, Garfield. click click click - GULP - GARFIELD! click click Life just isn't fair, is it, Jon?
13 May 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- - I can see today is going to be a real yawn a minute.
14 May 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Even the Caped Avenger requires special effects. - - Z - click! - That's it! I'm tired of living with you bozos! - I'm moving out an taking my stuff with me. - How's apartment life, Garfield? With the exception of one nosy neighbor, not bad.
15 May 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Wake up, Garfield, Today is the first day of the rest of you life. - - Wake up, Garfield, Today is the first MEAL of the rest of your life. I can't resist a nicely turned phrase.
16 May 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
How do you want your eggs this morning, boys, too salty or too greasy? - I'm tired of the same choice. Could you burn them? I'll try. - You're a peach, Irma!
17 May 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Garfield, would you know what happened to my loaf of garlic bread? Why ask me? - droop - Rat fink daisies!
18 May 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
May I have this cupcake, PLEASE? Very well, you may have it. - What's the problem, Garfield? - I don't know if I want only a one "please" cupcake.
19 May 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Give me your honest opinion, Garfield. - Do you think this outfit clashes? No. - It's waging all-out war.
20 May 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- One thing I like about lethargy... - You don't have to work at it.
21 May 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I hate it when I don't tan all over. - - - chink! whizzzzzzz - ZIP! CHOMP - Sigh.
22 May 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Good morning, boys and girls! Good morning, Uncle Roy! - I love you just the way you are! I love you too, uncle Roy! - Of course, you could stand to lose a little weight... CLICK I wonder what Binky The Clown is up to?
23 May 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Good morning, boys and girls! I love you just the way you are! I love you too, Uncle Roy. - Golly. I feel good today! And do you know why? Why? - Because I have so many wonderful friends like you! Translation: Uncle Roy's ratings are up.
24 May 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Why, here comes Mr. Blue Jeans, the mailman. Morning, Mr. Blue Jeans. Any mail for me? - You, Uncle Roy, here's a black tax notice and a copy of Leather and Bike Magazine. - And here's a letter from you ex-wife's lawyer... This is a side of
25 May 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Let's take a walk in my neighborhood, boys and girls. Would you like that? Sure, Uncle Roy. - Here we are outside my hou... HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! - HELP! BLINKY THE CLOWN'S STEALING MY HUBCAPS! It must be ratings week.
26 May 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Hi, boys and girls! I love you just the way you are! I love you too, Uncle Roy! - I'm in this cast today thanks to Binky The Clown who mugged me yesterday. But that's okay, because I love him just the way he is... - BEHIND BARS! Uncle Roy's
27 May 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Do you know how to spot a lazy person? - A truly lazy person never finishes any... - Z
28 May 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Do you think the wizard will give me a brain? You didn't tell me you had family here, Odie. - Hey, Odie. - Is that your tongue or did you swallow a pair of Long Johns? - - By the way, I heard your fleas died of food poisoning. - Oh, yes, Igor
29 May 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Here you go, Garfield. That's milk. - It'll make your coat nice and shiny. I think I'll opt to molt. - All cats love milk! When I was young I was frightened by an udder.
30 May 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Back, fleas! Look! A flea collar! - POW! PING - Some fool sold them guns! Nice shot, Ralph!
31 May 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
You know, Garfield, I've often wondered... - Which are smarter? Cats? Or dogs? - Speaking of dogs, where's Odie? He's fishing off the back of you rowing machine.
1 June 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I hate playing hide-and-seek with Odie. I've been in this basket for an hour. - Maybe I shouldn't have found such a good hiding place. - Or maybe I shouldn't have made Odie count to three.
2 June 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Hello? What's this? - clickety clickety clickey - Sensing an error in judgement, our hero slowly backs away...
3 June 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- OUCH! - You wouldn't happen to know how this hole got in here would you? Rare oven mitt-eating moths, I suspect.
4 June 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
This is Odie-wan-Kanobe. He has the force to help us. He hides it well. - - EEEK! - HELP! HWLP! HELP! - - Garfield, you sissy. I can't believe you're afraid of a little spider. - I need your book. - FWAP - Thank you very much. - EEEK!
5 June 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Goody! Here comes the mailman for his daily chomp. - Wait! He's stopping. - NO FAIR!
6 June 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- ARF! ARF! arf! arf! arf! - Thank you, Mr. Stealth!
7 June 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
YOU ARE LAZY! - Don't you have any goals in life? Yes, to eat an ostrich. - Don't you wanna climb that mountain and yell, "I made it"? Ambition gives me a nosebleed.
8 June 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
You never move from that spot. Ah. But I've considered it. - You're not even a cat. - YOU'RE A SLUG WITH HAIR! Sure, kick me when I'm down!
9 June 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Jon called me a slug with hair. Well, I'm not taking it lying down! - - All right, I'll take it lying down. But, I won't like it.
10 June 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
From now on you're earning your keep around here. Here's a list of chores. Gee, thanks! - Only moments ago I was a lazy worthless burden of society. - Now I'm a procrastinator.
11 June 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Well, who had the keys last, deputy? - - Uh, Jon, you know how curious cats are, don't you? - Well, I sorta found you car keys on the chest and Odie and I...uh, well... - What are you trying to tell me, Garfield? - VRMM - CRASH - Never mind.
12 June 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Yawn - SHUFFLE SCRAPE SCRAPE SHUFFLE I was afraid of this. - My birthday is creeping up on me.
13 June 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Garfield, I know you're depressed about your upcoming birthday... - But, remember you're only as old as you feel. - Let's see...how old are you going to be? About 12 million years old, give or take a millenium.
14 June 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
In a few years I'll be ten years old. Just what IS ten? - - Ten is two hands and two toes.
15 June 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Why am I afraid of turning ten? - Why am I afraid to admit that I'm aging? - And why are turkey buzzards circling my bed?
16 June 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Garfield, you'll soon be ten years old. - And people handlse aging differently. - Have you considered acting gracefully?
17 June 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I refuse to get any older without a fight! Do you hear that?! - You'll have to drag me kicking and screaming into my next year. - After the birthday cake and presents, of course.
18 June 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
If you brought me presents you may stay. - Hey, Garfield, I just ran across the old family album. Ho boy. - Our only thought is to entertain you. Feed me. Show me a good mouser, and I'll show you a cat with bad breath. We're inseparable,
19 June 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Ten?! Why you don't look ten! - You look... - You look like you're trying to convince yourself that you don't look ten.
20 June 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Starting today, I think younger! - CRACK SNAP POP POP POP CRACK SNAP POP - That goes for you too, bonies.
21 June 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Guess what we're going to do today? - Here's a hintr. I start by hitting something with a club. - We're going to play golf! Thank goodness. I thought he was getting desperate for a date.
22 June 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
This is a pretty tricky putt, Garfield. - Which way do you think it will break? Hmmm - I'd say, right.
23 June 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- I've heard of tough golf courses... - But quicksand traps?
24 June 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
GARFIELD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! SLUUUCK! - I', slucking the cheese off your lasagna. SLUUUCK! - You're slucking the cheese of my lasagna. Nothing escapes this man.
25 June 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Do you expect me to be seen in public with you dressed like that? - CLICK - Why do I stay up and watch those old horror movies? - What if there's a monster under my bed? - That's silly. A monster couldn't fit under there. - Unless of course,
26 June 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
One thing you can say about Odie... - He'll never have a mental breakdown. - No moving parts.
27 June 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Aha! Girl scouts and their cookies approach! - Halt! I see broken branches and cat tracks. There's a cat ambush up ahead! - Rats! A girl scout scout.
28 June 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Look, mommy. - Psst psst psst No, Johnny, it isn't! - It doesn't have a trunk. Diet time.
29 June 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- What's the matter, Garfield? Lost your appetite? Sort of... - it took another look at dinner and went into hiding.
30 June 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Garfield, no tricks, just honesty, I'm taking you to the vet for a checkup. - You're right, Jon. Honesty is important in a relationship. - SPLUT! NO, YOU'RE NOT.
1 July 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Doc, is Garfield's heart okay? Yes. Are his eyes okay? Yes. - Are his teeth okay? Yes. Are his ears okay? Yes. - Will you go out with me tonight? no. hope springs eternal.
2 July 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
That's not a lasagna, mate, THIS is a lasagna! - Z - Whoa, Simba! Z - Why, it's an ancient ruin of a human being. - WHUMP! Let's unearth this relic, Sibma. - This must be a hand which is used to prepare food. - And these must be feet that
3 July 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
YAWN - CHONK - Hellooooo, monday.
4 July 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
How in the world am I gonna get out of this? - Maybe if I just closed my mouth... -
5 July 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I relly don't think this is exactly the way to get me down, Odie. - Why don't you try something else? -
6 July 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- Congratulations, Odie! You did something right for a change! - TOING!!
7 July 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Well, Odie, you almost broke any bone in my body, but you did get me down from the tree. - Someday I hope to do the same for you. - But not today.
8 July 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Oh sure, this may look comfortable. - But it has its risks. - Lip splinters are no laughing matters.
9 July 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
HEE HA HA HA HEE HEE HA HA HA HEE HA - And now let's play "The Brain Game". - Here's our quiz question. Be the first person to call with the correct answer and win a new house! Right, I'll just pick up the phone and tall you the answer. - If
10 July 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Garfield starts a new diet today. - This also marks the first day of... - Cheating.
11 July 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Yawn - UNNGH! - Diet time, Garfield. Shut up and get me a shoehorn.
12 July 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Not another carrot! I know it's diet week, but anything would taste better than this! - Oh, well. MUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH - Burp...not bad.
13 July 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
That was a great little nap. scratch scratch - Oh, what the heck? - They're small. I'll take two.
14 July 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- WHAM! - Garfield! Dinner! I'd love to, but my lips are stuck in the mail slot.
15 July 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Tennis is one of my favorite sports. Do you have a favorite sport, Garfield? - - Natch.
16 July 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- Now for a nice evening of television. - BLIP! Rats! We must've blown a fuse! - Garfield, use your cat instincts to guide me to the basement. - OUCH!..HEY! Where are you leading me? - I think we're in the basement. Never mind. We'll sleep
17 July 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Bathrooms are fun. - Here's a new one. - VIP! YIP! YIP! The mummy lives.
18 July 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- - GARFIELD!
19 July 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
CREEEEEEEK - Th emummy awakens from a sleep of 3000 years. - And sets his snooze alarm for another century.
20 July 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Boy, am I starved. - I wonder what mummies eat? - *
21 July 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I remember breakfast back home. - Lying in bed. The smell of bacon on the griddle... - The sound of mom giggling as she made patterns in the potato pancakes with my baby shoes. She's a disturbed woman.
22 July 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
On your mark... - Get set... - PLOP Z
23 July 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I, Garfield, Prince of Chraming, hve just awakened you with a kiss. It wasn't the kiss. It was the smell of sardines and pumpernickel on your breath. - - hee hee hee - YAAAH! - - - EEEEK!!! - That would have been funnier had his brain not
24 July 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
RIIINNNGGG! - Better hit the ol' snooze alarm. RIIINNG! - SNNOORE
25 July 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I wish Jon would get off my back. - He says I'm not pulling my weight around here. - boing! picky, picky, picky.
26 July 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Garfield, you're tha laziest cat I know. You never met my grandfather. - He was too lazy to get up to eat. - He'd lie on the floor and throw his dentures at the refrigerator.
27 July 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I'm not appreciated out here. - AAAYIEEEE!!! - I spend all morning greasing his shoes and not even a thank you.
28 July 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Do you know how to tell the difference between a raisin cookie and a chocolate chip cookie? - POOEY! - Neither do I.
29 July 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
You fell off the curtains. So much for mountain climbing. - I thought cats are supposed to land on their feet. So much for myth. - CATS DON'T LAND ON THEIR FEET! So much for mystique.
30 July 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
One for me and all for me. Does that sound right to ypu?! - bat bat bat - bat bat bat - ZIP FWAP FWAP FWAP - That's a familiar sound. - We've gotta put a stop to this, Garfield. - * - There, this venetian blind should do the trick. - ZIP
31 July 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Dear Mom, How are you? - everything's the same here... - We need more fuit. I'm sorry to say.
1 August 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
There are many ways to deal with depression. - Some people buy a new hat. - In order to depress others.
2 August 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Morning, Garfield. Have a good sleep? - It was a decent sleep, even a better-than-average sleep. - A sleep, perhaps, thet the uninitiated might think a first-rate sleep, but not a sleep that we conoisseurs would consider... I'm sorry I asked!
3 August 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
So, what'll it be? Door number one? - Door number two, or door number three? - How about channel number four? CLICK
4 August 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
drip drip drip drip - CLICK - CLICK drip drip drip drip
5 August 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
We'll be back right soon so please don't touch that dial. - HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! - I SAAAAID, "DON'T TOUCH THAT DIAL"! Talk about ratings through intimidation.
6 August 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
This is great, Jon. What are you going to have? - * - Hey, Garfield. - Did you know muscles earn you respect? - Did you know chicks go crazy over guys with big muscles? - - - Did you know you can flex fat?
7 August 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Garfield, all you're good for is lying around and collecting dust. You got it. - I don't suppose you'd like to exercise with me? You got it again. - Well, taht's fine with me! Thank you.
8 August 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
This is it, little buddy. Today I start weight training and take my first step toward hunkhood! - UNNNNGH! - HYAH! My hero.
9 August 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
You know, Garfield, exercise really pays. Not enough. - Know what I got from lifting weights? A hernia? - Rippling biceps! - That reminds me. How about spaghetti for dinner?
10 August 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
UNNNGH! - BWOIK! - Very funny!
11 August 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Weight lifing has really helped me, Garfield! - Just look at that muscle! Oooo, let me feel! - You killed it! The poor thing was sick.
12 August 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
You're looking trim these days, Mr. Arbuckle. - What's your secret? Diet? Exercise? - Garfield started sleeping on my stomach. That should do it. Why don't you guys get off my case?
13 August 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- - Tell you what, Garfield, If I give you one of my hamburgers, will you stop staring at me? Agreed! - -
14 August 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
YAWN - * Morning, Garfield, ** - * You coffee's on the table *
15 August 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Garfield, your snoring kept me up half the night. - You didn't stop until six A.M. I know. - That's when I inhaled my blanket.
16 August 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK I guess I'd better get my shoes off. - SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK - I guess I'd better wash my socks. Oh, yuk!
17 August 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I must have been hungry last night, Jon. - I dreamt I was eating flowers, millions of 'em. - What are you trying to say, Garfield? You're missing some wallpaper.
18 August 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
KLUNK KLUNK KLONK - Sigh. - It's tough to fluff a bed-box.
19 August 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Starting today, I'm going to work on being more peasant. - BOOT! - Have a nice day!
20 August 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
GARFIELD! Who else? - Hmmm - You are about to witness my finest hour. - Garfield, you are a genius. - Ah, customers! - Oh, Brett! This is perfect! I love it! - You're right, Mona. A little paint and some wallpaper and we'll more right in. A
21 August 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
If I ruled the world, do you know what I would do? I know what I would do. - I would make all people live in harmony. I would eat lasagna till it came out my nose. - And I would make cats stop being so self-serving. And dogs would be
22 August 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Here comes the scariest part of the movie. - I CAN'T LOOK! TELL ME WHEN IT'S OVER! - Was it scary? Not bad.
23 August 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Here's a picture of me back on the farm. - Things were really tough then. - Here's dad trying to milk a pig. That explains a lot.
24 August 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Here's a picture of my brother and me. Boy we were pretty wild. - An night we'd sneak out of our room... - Then we'd fill our shoes with chicken feed and run through the henhouse! Two real fugitives from justice.
25 August 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
This is ridiculous. - You're so finicky. - There, all the ends are tied together. One-slurp spaghetti.
26 August 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
George! That cat is at the window again! - Don't worry, Martha. He can't get in here. What's that noise?! - skreeeeee Sounds like a glass cutter! Call the police!
27 August 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Not to fear, friar Odie. I've done this a hundred times, so I'm bound to get it right sooner or later. - Z - - Z - BRINNNNG! - Come here, you little...and I'll rip your hands off. - - BRINNG! - I assume there's an explanation. Careful, Jon!
28 August 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Do we have any potato chips left, Garfield? - I'll check. - Nope.
29 August 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Good morning, Garfield. A rookie! - I've heard a lot about you. I'm famous! - They say you're vicious! Let me autograph your leg.
30 August 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
ARR ARR ARR ARR ARR ARR ARR Dogs are stupid. - SLAP SLAP SLAP With bad breath. - SNAP Bu, I love'em anyway.
31 August 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Good morning, Garfield. 'morning, Jon. - What's this meatball doing in your bed? I put one there every night. - That's weird. He must not believe in the spaghetti fairy.
1 September 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
The trouble with you, Garfield, is you think you're human. - You're right. - I gotta do something about this inferiority complex.
2 September 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Look! A mouse! - Act like a cat, Garfield! Okay. - Z
3 September 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Whew! I was beginning to think I'd never get full. BURP! - Lah-lah-lah-lah-lah-lah-laaaaaahhh- I hope the writer's strike ends soon. - And now, back to the Binky the Clown show! - HEEEEEEEY, KIDS!!! Good morning, Binky! - It's a beautiful day
4 September 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
whirrrrrrrrr Garfield, where are you? By the electric pencil sharpener being bored. - And just what are we doing? We are seeing which common household objects can hold a point.
5 September 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
We're bored. You said it. - Hey, I have an idea! - Well, we're not bored anymore. You're right. We're bored AND stupid looking.
6 September 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Depressed, Garfield? Yo. - Well, look on the bright side. - Compared to absolute, hopeless despair, depressed is cheerful! I feel better already.
7 September 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Garfield, you have to be the world's laziest cat! - ALL RIGHT! - This boy's priorities are badly misplaced.
8 September 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Howdy, stranger. - Garfield, I hate to tell you this... - But, sleeping next to a picture of the Grand Canyon is not camping out. You're standing in my camp fire!
9 September 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Ha-ha! The last doughnut and it's all mine! - Why are you smiling, Garfield? - I already licked the sugar off. Hey! This tastes like baby powder.
10 September 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
This painting of you is lacking something, Garfield. Yeah, a resemblance. - - Garfield, are you lying on my sandwich? You might say that. - Hey, misterm may we bury your cat in the sand? Sire, go ahead. - Thanks, mister. You're in trouble.
11 September 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
That's strange. I forgot why I came in here. - Oh well. It will occure to me later. - Hopefully before he gets to the grocery store.
12 September 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Here's the news! ...uh! Gee, this is small print. - Unfortunately, I can't see a thing without my glasses. - SO here's a song! * Feeeliiiiings * You should see the weather tap-dance.
13 September 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- - In case you're interested, watches don't float.
14 September 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Hey, Garfield! Let's go to the beach! Not today. - Where's your spirit of adventure? - The spirit is willing but the flesh is fat.
15 September 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
There must be some way to escape this fat. - - Nah, it would just find my forwarding address.
16 September 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Ready to order, hon? What?s your special today, Irma? - "Chicken Surprise". Great. We'll take two. - SURPRISE! SURPRISE! You distract her. I'll call the hospital. Got it.
17 September 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
It's too early in the morning for "cute". - - Cats are the greatest hunters on earth. - Watch me sneak up on that bird. - Cats are silent stalkers, deftly stepping between the dry leaves. - Remaining absolutely motionless, cats wait for the
18 September 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Here's a famous phrase for you, Garfield. - "Curiosity killed the cat". My uncle Bernie coined that one. - Right afte rhe coined the phrase, "never listen for a train by putting your ear on a train track".
19 September 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Winter of '83, summer of '79, spring of '86. - I love these trips down memory lane... - Checking the expiration dates in Jon't refrigerator.
20 September 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Dressing properly is a art, Garfield. - Rule number one, a tie is the extension of one's personality. - Rule number two, never tuck your shirt into your underwear.
21 September 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Have you noticed how Odie is always smiling, Garfield? His parents were hyenas. - Why don't you ever smile? I have my reasons. - If he thought he were pleasing me, he'd stop trying.
22 September 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Maybe Garfield won't eat THIS fern. - Do you know what this is? I sure do. - It's the triumph of hope over experience.
23 September 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Stay tuned. - coming up next is some mindless drivel guaranteed to insult your intellect. - Jon! Your show's on!
24 September 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Definitely no more pizzas with anchovies and chocolate syrup before bedtime. - - - CRASH! - - CRASH! - - I meant to do that.
25 September 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- - He actually moved. One side was getting flat.
26 September 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Jon! You're home! - Good to see you! - Where's the candy bar I had in my pocket?
27 September 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- GARFIELD! CUT THAT OUT! - Cut what out? Bird Feeder
28 September 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- You might be interested to know while YOU were asleep, I caought a mouse. - Good boy.
29 September 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
JON! JON! ODIE'S FOAMING AT THE MOUTH! - MAD DOG! MAD DOG! - By the way, you're out of shaving cream.
30 September 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I MUST KISS YOU! - Kiss! Kiss! Smooch! Kiss! Kiss! - Oh, baby, baby! Car commercial.
1 October 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
My crystal ball tells me I'm going to have fish for lunch. - OH NO! - GARFIELD! YOU'VE GOTTA HELP ME! - I'm late for my date! Which socks should I wear? - My shirt! Does it go with my socks?! - TIES! I HAVE TOO MAY TIES! - THERE ARE TOO MANY
2 October 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I just can't ge tmotivated today, Garfield. Don't fight it. - There's so much work to do. Ignore it, it'll go away. - I've been bitten by the lazy bug. I ate him.
3 October 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Jon't driving me crazy. - He's trying to grow a beard. - Do I look distiguished yet? Welcome to the family.
4 October 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Here's a new diet, Garfield. - It's called the "Ramone Diet". - If you overeat, this guy named "Ramone" comes by and fattens your lips. - Crude, but effective.
5 October 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
You cats hardly have a care in the world, do you? - Your biggest worry is probably about the pet door sticking and your getting caught outside. -
6 October 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Hey, Garfield. Here comes the mailman. - Looks like you won't be able to shred his pants today. - He's wearing shorts. Then I'll just have to pluck a few leg hairs.
7 October 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
What's this? It's from the pudding-of-the-month club. - I don't recall joining any club. - Do you, Garfield? Dibs on the butterscotch!
8 October 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
This space for rent GARFIELD Jon has no sense of humor. - - unscrew unscrew unscrew - SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE - Good morning, Garfield. - PLOP - GOOSH! - Garfield! One more trick and no more TV for a week! - Uh, about your croissant.
9 October 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Dieting is like show business. - - The weight always returns for an encore.
10 October 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- WHIP - A little sensitive about our weight, are we? My weight, my business.
11 October 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Cut that out, Garfield. - If you don't stop staring at me, I'm leaving the room! - THERE! HAPPY?! Quite.
12 October 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Garfield, watching you eat takes me back to my farm days. snort gulp slurp - We raised hogs. slurp gulp snort - SQUEEE! SQUEEE! How would you like cat food shoved up your snout?
13 October 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Go away, dog. You're washing the wax off my shoes. - Don't you understand English? - Is your dog one of them foreign breeds? No, he's one of them mindless breeds.
14 October 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Wanna go jogging, Garfield? No thanks. - A new report says that too much air can prematurely age your lungs. - I'm going. Well, don't come crying to me with wrinkled lungs.
15 October 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Wanna look thinner? Hang around with people fatter than you. - - The cat senses the approach of danger. - rrrrr - The dog approaches, bent on wreaking havoc on the cat. - AR! AR! AR! AR! AR! AR! The dog threatens to dismember the cat. - The
16 October 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Time to get up, Garfield. Go away. - Come on, Mr. Grumpy, rise and shine! - Never touch "Mr. Grumpy" before noon.
17 October 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- Rats. I hate static electricity. - So do I.
18 October 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Garfield, this toy was designed by animal psychologists. - TO appeal to a house pet's playful instincts. - DOING DOING Enjoy.
19 October 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Three sardine cans... - Four cupcake wrappers. a pizza box... - Why, Garfield? - Because breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
20 October 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
And now, the late, late, late show presents... - "Night of the Zombie Plumbers" in 3-D! - I've been up too long.
21 October 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Congratulations, Garfield! You've mastered the chopsticks! - Now, dive in! - GULP!
22 October 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Nope...I've not seen him, marshal. - - - ZIP! - - ZIP! - - Good morning, Garfield.
23 October 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Paste SWIPE - PUNT! - Odie?
24 October 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
That's it! I'm fed up with Jon! I'm fed up with Odie! I can't think of a single thing I like about this house! - - The roof...I'm rather fond of the roof.
25 October 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Z - Z - Z HEE HEE HEE
26 October 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Time for bed, Garfield. Z - I said, time for bed. Z - When he sleeps, he sleeps. Z
27 October 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Hello? Dr. Wilson? - Yes, I'm afraid it's Garfield again. - He chewed the knobs off the TV during a pizza commercial. I'm only human.
28 October 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Tah-dah! - What's with you? - You'd think he'd be more impressed with someone who just ate the entire contents of a house. Hey! Where did the refrigerator go?
29 October 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
The big dripper. - DINNERTIME! - Hungry, Garfield? Is Odie stupid? - Great! let's go to the refrigerator and find something to eat. - Come on, Odie. Don't do it, Jon! - I'd better go to the rescue. - - SLAM! Clean out the refrigerator, Jon!
30 October 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Good evening, ladies and germs! tappity tappity - SPLAT! BOP! WHAP! - I see some of you stayed for the second show.
31 October 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I knew a dog who was so stupid, he chased bones and buried cars! - ROWF! BARK! MEOW! YIP GRRR ARF! - Dog Pound Who booked me into this joint anyway?
1 November 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
* MEROWW * TINK! - Hey! A caviar tin! - I'm attracting a higher class of hecklers!
2 November 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
You know, Garfield, we're not getting any younger. - Maybe we should start planning for our future. You're right. - Where are we going? TO make up a grocery list.
3 November 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I like it when I'm home alone. - The entire house is MINE. - And this is MINE, and this is MINE, and this is MINE...
4 November 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I didn't know you could touch your toes, Garfield. And you thought I was out of shape. - - Are you okay? Don't just stand there, All the paramedics!
5 November 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- Garfield, I've always wondered, what do you do with all the raisins you pick off your cookies? That's none of your business. - Oh well, I guess I'll go clean out the coat closet today. I wouldn't do that if I were you. - YAAAAHHH!!! - Very
6 November 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Any specials today, Irma? - I'll check. - Hey, Bubba! Anything in the trap this morning? Check please.
7 November 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
What's the soup of the day? Hoboy. - Well now, what day IS today? Tuesday. - Well then, that would make it TUESDAY'S soup, wouldn't it now? Makes sense to me.
8 November 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Here's your burger. plop - Uh, don't I get a bun? - Oh! You want our DELUXE burger! Go for it, Jon! Get the super deluxe and get a plate, too.
9 November 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
GARFIELD! WAIT! - Most kinds of spiders are completely harmless. Jon...you're right. - Especially the dead kinds! WHAP!
10 November 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Garfield, I don't feel like scratching your belly. - I have better things to do. - Like mending your shredded shirt?
11 November 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- BOMP! - I love volleydog.
12 November 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
That's the last time I hide pet snacks on my person. - - Some pets are well behaved, and then there are my pets. I can't leave them alone for a second, watch this. - So long, boys! I'll only be gone for a second! - One. - I rest my case.
13 November 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- - It's going to be one of those mondays.
14 November 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
pick pick pick pick - Do you know what you get when you pick the raisins off your toast? - Swiss toast!
15 November 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
brrrrrr . Is it me, or is the hous freezing this morning? - TINK TINK It ain't me.
16 November 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
And here's a photo of you with the pigs on my folk's farm last summer. - - You're the one with the stripes.
17 November 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Boy, this exercising is tough. - It's giving me a headache. - Try loosening your sweatband.
18 November 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I can't believe Judy asked us to leave her party. - By the way, what were you doing in the salad bowl? Bobbing for croutons. - Boy was she mad. You'd think she'd never had hair on her tomato wedges before.
19 November 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
35 days, 5 hours, 36 minutes and 4 seconds till Christmas. - CLICK - Z - Z Wha? Who?! Are you a monster?! - SLURP! Odie! It's you! Sure, you can sleep with me. - Yaaah! Now who are YOU?! - CLICK GARFIELD! - What are you trying to do? Scare
20 November 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
What a great meal! - Isn't it a shame there's no unit of measure for how good food tastes? Ah, but there is... - It's called a calorie.
21 November 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Do you think you'd ever like to have a statue erected in your memory, Garfield? - Yeah! - If they could make it so it could eat pigeons.
22 November 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Wait'll you see what I bought, Garfield. - TAH-DAH! - It's amazing the things people would rather have than money.
23 November 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I wonder what Garfield is doing with that salad dressing? - - KEEP AWAY FROM THE FERNS! Too late.
24 November 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Tell me, Garfield. Would you say this milk shake is half full or half empty? - Completely empty! - Care to get philosophical about those french fries?
25 November 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Dinner's on, Garfield. Oh, nothing for me, thanks. I'm not hungry. - - WHO ARE YOU, AND WHAT DID YOU DO WITH GARFIELD?! That was a joke.
26 November 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
WAH! - Hey, Odie! - Fetch, boy! - DONK PLOP - SHOOM! - Odie, you stupid idiot! That's a fire hydrant! Not a bone! - Oh well, maybe this will make a nice planter or something. squeak squeak - I don't even want to know.
27 November 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- - My Captain Lamo laser poweres direction finder, decode ring! I hate cats.
28 November 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
And now! ...your favorite game show! - Bowling for cheese! Uh-oh! - The audience is small, but loyal.
29 November 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Hey, look. The mailman's hand is stuck in the mailbox. - How tragic. - How sad.
30 November 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Z - OUCH! Your eyebrows needed thinning.
1 December 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Don't you just love all this snow, Garfield? - You and Odie should be romping about having the time of your lives. - Where is he anyway? - I'm standing on him.
2 December 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
HEW, GARFIELD! - YOUR MORNING BREATH IS AWFUL. You're telling me. - My teeth melted.
3 December 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I've got to stop dieting. I gain too much weight. - Read yto go out, guys? Ask me again in the spring. - Have fun in the snow, boys. - SLAM! - FOOMP! - - - Odie! Are you okay? - ARRRRGH! - Wimp.
4 December 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Gee, I can't decide whether to have some pie or some cake. - - Have some pie.
5 December 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Jon, there's a lump in the tablecloth. Flatten it out with this french bread. - - Wait a minute! Where's Odie` Who's Odie?
6 December 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Look, Garfield! I'm touching my toes! I'm happy for you, Jon. - This is great exercise. Why don't you join me? Sounds a bit strange, but, okay. -
7 December 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Jon, I have something to tell you. - The refrigerator stopped running so I ate all the food before it spoiked. - Somebody unplugged the refrigerator! I know.
8 December 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
As a joke, I have tied Jon's shoelaces together. Z - And, as a bonus joke, I have attached this rope to an airliner about to leave for Italy. - WHA! SHOOP! Bring back pizza!
9 December 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Garfield? What happened to the cookies I had in this jar? - - That was a stupid question. I'll say.
10 December 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Wanna popsicle, Jon? - Ho-hum. - What a boring, dreary existence this is. - GRRRR - BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! - RRRRRRRR - - What a boring, dreary existence this is.
11 December 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I have a big date tonight, Garfield. - Do you think I'll make a good impression? - Good, no. Accurate, yes.
12 December 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Boy, am I sleepy. - YAWN - I think I saw the sweat sock I lost last week.
13 December 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Boy, am I bored...bored, bored, bored, bored. - It's sure a quiet day. - Quiet, quiet, quiet day.
14 December 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Ah, yes. There it is. That old Christmas spirit is in the air once again. - What would you like for breakfast, Garfield? A blueberry waffle, please. - AND A CAR, A PONY AND A VILLA IN THE SOUTH OF FRANCE!
15 December 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
That's right. Stay just like that, Odie. - * Oh, Joooon * - I Get the hint, Garfield. Subtle as it is.
16 December 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Look, Odie. We may have a white Christmas after all. - Wait a minute! That looks like feathers! - MY PILLOW! Scrooge.
17 December 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Jon, I think it was a mistake to bring Odie. - YAWN - Why, thank you, Garfield. - Odie! You fixed breakfast! How sweet. - Thanks, Garfield. It's a bit drafty in here. - Uh, thank you, Odie. - SCREEEEE - By the way, boys, this attention
18 December 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Well, Garfield, it's that time of year again! Time to wash your socks? - Time to get a Christmas tree! - What's wrong with the one we have?
19 December 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I got our Christmas tree. Close the door, will yuh? - SLAM! - I meant AFTER I got the tree in! You should have been more specific.
20 December 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Well, there it is, Garfield. - The most beautiful Christmas tree ever... - Once again, the law of gravity rears its ugly head.
21 December 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- Z - Only three days 'til Christmas. Go back to bed, Garfield.
22 December 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
* - ** - Darn thing's defective.
23 December 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
'TIS THE SEA-SON TO BE JOL-LY * - FA-LA-LA-LA-LAAAH LA-LAH-LAH... - la
24 December 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Z - BARK! - Oh yeah, it's Christmas morning. - The morning I have to get up early, be nice to people, skip breakfast... - Urf! I love you, Garfield! I wish it would never end. Merry Christmas! Jim Davis 12.25
25 December 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
BRINNNG! - DONK - Only 364 more days till Christmas!
26 December 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
GARFIELD! HEY, GARFIELD! - What's your new year's resolution? - You just woke me from it!
27 December 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
Garfield, you should start the year out on the right foot. Which one? I have som any. - You should resolve to lose weight. I tried that last year. - I lost my resolve instead.
28 December 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
I'm going to make a new year's resolution! - This year, I resolve to... - Pay attention to where I point.
29 December 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
- This year, I resolve to be gentler with Odie! - push
30 December 1988

		» 1 January 1988 »
A new year's resolution. - Eating will no longer be a vice of mine. - Henceforth, it will be a hobby.
31 December 1988

Garfield's Birthday | New Year's Eve | New Year's Day | X-max Eve | X-mas Day