Z - Oh, no! What happened to my toes?! -
1 January 1988
In the natural order of things, cats aren't fat, Garfield. - PURRR Oh, very well. - In the natural order of things, humans ARE gullible, though.
2 January 1988
Pretty impressive, eh, Arlene. Yes, impressive that those legs can move my body. - - Unngh! - GUH! - AAAAAK! - HIYAAAHGHA! - One!
3 January 1988
Some egg foo young, Garfield? Sure. - Hoe about some moo goo gai pan. Do you know what I like about chinese food? - It's as much fun to say as it is to eat!
4 January 1988
Still haven't mastered those chopsticks, huh, Garfield? - Mastered? ...no. - Perfected? ...yes.
5 January 1988
I knew you'd like chinese food, Garfield, but Im surprised you ate the octopus. Octopus? - ACK! COUGH HACK BLECK! - Actually it wasn't half bad.
6 January 1988
Gimme that fortune cookie. - Beware of the SPLUT! - SPLUT!
7 January 1988
Impressions! - A clock! - CUCKOO CUCKOO Tah-dah! Aren't they cute?
8 January 1988
psssssh - This stuff is guaranteed to keep pets off the furniture. It's so easy it's almost unfair.
9 January 1988
I can feel monday creeping up. - Now for a nice loooong nap. - Presenting RIP VAN GARFIELD The Story Of A Catnap... Z - That Lasted 50 Years! For the first time in my life, I feel rested! - Some Things Had Changed... Roof! Roof! - Some Things
10 January 1988
I hate mondays. I need something to cheer me up. - PUNT! - Even gravity has it in for me today!
11 January 1988
Garfield! What are you doing? Uh...push-ups? - The vet put you on a diet. I want a second opinion. - How about a nice leaf of lettuce? PLease! If I laugh I might snort an anchovy!
12 January 1988
I'm so hungry from my diet I couldn't sleep last night. - Thereby depriving me of food AND sleep, two of three things I live for. - If the third weren't self-pity, I'd kill myself.
13 January 1988
- - Must you play with your food? Who's playing? I'm picking out vitamins.
14 January 1988
Garfield! You lost another pound! - I'm so proud of you! Jon's so naive. - It's the same pound I lose every week.
15 January 1988
Where would you like to eat, Garfield? - This place? How come? - ERNIE'S Eat Till You Explode Restaurant Let's just say, I have a good feeling about it.
16 January 1988
Hey, kid, isn't that Halley's comet? - - - - - RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! IT'S A RABID MUSKRAT! - - I like the part where he made you fetch it on all fours. Oh, shut up.
17 January 1988
Are you sleeping again? - I am NOT sleeping. - I'm checking my eyelids for light leaks.
18 January 1988
Hey, you bought new socks! - Here, let me break 'em in for you. - Gotta Dance Gotta Dance So this is why my feet have been itching.
19 January 1988
Excuse me, Irma, there's a hair in my soup. - How do you know it's not one of yours? - I use smaller rollers.
20 January 1988
Hey, look, Garfield, Odie's standing on his head! So? - Isn't that amazing?! Not really. - How does he do that? I glued his head to the table.
21 January 1988
They say cats can see in the dark. - CLICK Hey! It's true! I CAN see! - I see a whole lot of dark.
22 January 1988
I shall now derive great pleasure from kicking Odie off this table. - CRASH! - THAT WAs DARNED INCONSIDERATE!
23 January 1988
- There's nothing like a quiet evening at home. click - click click click click - gobble gobble gobble - DONK! - scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch - Not around here, at any rate.
24 January 1988
Guess who this letter is from? Your parents. - They're paying us a visit! Know how I knew that? - Who else uses barnyard scented stationery?
25 January 1988
Mom! Dad! Welcome to the big city! Ha! You call this one-horse burg big? - Uh...care to freshen up? Like from a sink? Sure! Do it all the time! - Your father's determined not to be taken for a country bumpkin. Cut the chat. My tractor's
26 January 1988
Is dad okay, mom? He sounds a little hoarse. He's a little upset with you on that subject. - With me? In your last letter you said you made your plants grow by talking to them. - You don't mean?... Ever try to give a pep talk to 40 acres of
27 January 1988
Here it is, dad, a modern bathroom with all the conveniences. I knoe that! What kind of rube do you think I am? - CRACK! MODERN CONVENIENCES, HA! CHEAP, YOU MEAN! - Pumped the handle twice and it snapped like a twig!
28 January 1988
I have a big day planned for us tomorrow, so don't forget to set your alarm, dad. - What time? Four A.M.? Uh...whenever. - Four o'clock, got that? Either he goes, or I go!
29 January 1988
Rise and shine, cat! On the farm we get up with the chickens. So do we. - Except our chickens are in the freezer. - SO THE MINUTE YOU SEE ONE OF THEM UP AND AROUND GIVE ME A CALL!
30 January 1988
I think he's falling for it! Lasagna Flavored Hibiscus - Uh-oh. - Look, cat, it's like this...I'm a flowering plant. - I bring joy to this dreary existence. - My delicate blossoms offer beauty, grace and a sense of hope to this life. - Plant,
31 January 1988