It says here, owners and their pets often look alike. - - I think I'll go shave. I think I'll go have plastic surgery done.
1 March 1988
Cats evoke many emotions in people...love, pleasure, wonder... - - and guilt.
2 March 1988
You know, before we start our meal, it might be nice to bow our heads and give thanks. - Good idea. - THANKS! PLOP You're missing the point, Garfield.
3 March 1988
Garfield, you're a disgrace to your species. - Actually, I'm rather unique. - I'm one of the few mammals who can breathe under food.
4 March 1988
Have some water, little fella. - Now, I'll let you drain for a bit. - I knoew this would happen if Jon didn't clean the garbage disposal.
5 March 1988
Come on, Odie, LIFT - tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity - What are you doing, Garfield? Guess! - Are you dancing? Are you upset? Nope. - Are you hungry? Guess AGAIN. - Are you trying to warn me about something? You'll never guess. - ARE
6 March 1988
I hate mondays. Me, too. - Why are YOU looking depressed? YOU don't work. - Sympathy pains.
7 March 1988
- They say, "You are what you eat". - MOOOO
8 March 1988
Garfield, wake up. - Do you know I can't remember the last time I heard you say "Meow"? - We'll talk about this in the morning. Jon doesn't have enough to occupy his mind.
9 March 1988
MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH - MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH - May I get you a snorkel? Are you trying to tell me something?
10 March 1988
Welcome to "Whistling For Dollars"! - The world's most stupid and boring game show. - Looks like the "truth in advertising" people struck again.
11 March 1988
AHA! - Let's see you get out of this one gracefully. -
12 March 1988
- How do I look? Like a million, give or take a year. - I think I carry my weight rather well. You should. You've had the practice. - Do you think I'll loose my looks with age? With luck, you will. - Do you think I have a strong chin? Which
13 March 1988
Garfield, if a burglar broke into the house, would you risk your life to save me? - Excuse me. - HA! HA! HA! HA ha! ha! ha! Let me rephrase that.
14 March 1988
Irma, is this tea or coffee? What does it taste like? - It tastes like turpentine. - Oh, that's our coffee. Our tea tastes like transmission fluid.
15 March 1988
A philosopher once said, !I think; therefore I am". - - Poor Odie, he isn't aware that he doesn't even exist.
16 March 1988
It says here, an active fantasy can improve your personality. - I HAVE an active fantasy life. - When I'm eating, I fantasize about sleep. When I sleep, I fantasize about eating.
17 March 1988
Garfield, have you ever imagined yourself as really young again? Interesting. - Years of experience yet to be lived. Years of fun yet to be had. - Years of sleep yet to be slept.
18 March 1988
munch munch munch - BURP - My compliments to the chief.
19 March 1988
And then my cat grabbed the steering wheel, and... - YAWN - I wish I could get to sleep. - HOWDY! Who are you? - I'm the sand person, I help folks go to sleep. Really? - Yup. A few sprinkles of my magic sand and it's nighty night time. Lay it
20 March 1988
Good morning, Garfield. I fixed you eggs, bacon, cinnamon rolls and hot coffee. Let me at 'em! - WOAH! - Rats. Nice try, Jon, You almost got me up on a monday that time.
21 March 1988
You have nothing to worry about, Mr. Arbuckle. - Licking the beaters on a cake mixer can't possibly harm your cat. - But, let's say that mixer was running at the time...
22 March 1988
KICK - Why, Odie! Whatever gave you an idea like that? - THIS is a kick! POMP!
23 March 1988
Garfield, if you're going to act like a piece of furniture, I'm going to treat you like a piece of furniture. - Idle threats can't move me. - Ha ha ha. Very funny, Jon.
24 March 1988
Garfield, let's just stay in today and lounge around. - Okaaaay. - I feel sorta silly, but I'll give it a shot.
25 March 1988
- - GARFIELD! Perfect timing.
26 March 1988
CRASH! - Hey, Garfield, guess what?! - We are going to roller-skate our way to health. - NOW, LET'S GET OUT THERE AND DO IT! - One side! Here comes your owner, the "Roller Skate King!" - AYIEEEEE! HONK! CRASH - - There goes my owner, the
27 March 1988
You gotta take me to the vet, Jon. - I'm having trouble sleeping, It seems like I just get into bed... - And then, BOOM! Twelve or thirteen hours later I'm wide awake!
28 March 1988
COUGH! WHEEZE! - This may be my last hour. Let me spend it in the comfort of my home! - Remembe rthe vet appointment, huh? I may never see these four walls again!
29 March 1988
When I can't sleep, it seems like every sound in the house is magnified. - THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD - Must you?!
30 March 1988
Maybe a good book will help me sleep. - A good, BIG book. - whap whap whap Sleep! Sleep! Sleep!
31 March 1988