It says here, owners and their pets often look alike. I think I'll go shave. I think I'll go have plastic surgery done.
1 March 1988
Cats evoke many emotions in people...love, pleasure, wonder... and guilt.
2 March 1988
You know, before we start our meal, it might be nice to bow our heads and give thanks. Good idea. THANKS! PLOP You're missing the point, Garfield.
3 March 1988
Garfield, you're a disgrace to your species. Actually, I'm rather unique. I'm one of the few mammals who can breathe under food.
4 March 1988
Have some water, little fella. Now, I'll let you drain for a bit. I knoew this would happen if Jon didn't clean the garbage disposal.
5 March 1988
Come on, Odie, LIFT tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity What are you doing, Garfield? Guess! Are you dancing? Are you upset? Nope. Are you hungry? Guess AGAIN. Are you trying to warn me about something? You'll never guess. AREYOU HORT?! Never in a mil
6 March 1988
I hate mondays. Me, too. Why are YOU looking depressed? YOU don't work. Sympathy pains.
7 March 1988
They say, "You are what you eat". MOOOO
8 March 1988
Garfield, wake up. Do you know I can't remember the last time I heard you say "Meow"? We'll talk about this in the morning. Jon doesn't have enough to occupy his mind.
9 March 1988
MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH May I get you a snorkel? Are you trying to tell me something?
10 March 1988
Welcome to "Whistling For Dollars"! The world's most stupid and boring game show. Looks like the "truth in advertising" people struck again.
11 March 1988
AHA! Let's see you get out of this one gracefully. -
12 March 1988
How do I look? Like a million, give or take a year. I think I carry my weight rather well. You should. You've had the practice. Do you think I'll loose my looks with age? With luck, you will. Do you think I have a strong chin? Whichone? Thank you for you
13 March 1988
Garfield, if a burglar broke into the house, would you risk your life to save me? Excuse me. HA! HA! HA! HA ha! ha! ha! Let me rephrase that.
14 March 1988
Irma, is this tea or coffee? What does it taste like? It tastes like turpentine. Oh, that's our coffee. Our tea tastes like transmission fluid.
15 March 1988
A philosopher once said, !I think; therefore I am". Poor Odie, he isn't aware that he doesn't even exist.
16 March 1988
It says here, an active fantasy can improve your personality. I HAVE an active fantasy life. When I'm eating, I fantasize about sleep. When I sleep, I fantasize about eating.
17 March 1988
Garfield, have you ever imagined yourself as really young again? Interesting. Years of experience yet to be lived. Years of fun yet to be had. Years of sleep yet to be slept.
18 March 1988
munch munch munch BURP My compliments to the chief.
19 March 1988
And then my cat grabbed the steering wheel, and... YAWN I wish I could get to sleep. HOWDY! Who are you? I'm the sand person, I help folks go to sleep. Really? Yup. A few sprinkles of my magic sand and it's nighty night time. Lay iton me! HIT IT, CHARLEY!
20 March 1988
Good morning, Garfield. I fixed you eggs, bacon, cinnamon rolls and hot coffee. Let me at 'em! WOAH! Rats. Nice try, Jon, You almost got me up on a monday that time.
21 March 1988
You have nothing to worry about, Mr. Arbuckle. Licking the beaters on a cake mixer can't possibly harm your cat. But, let's say that mixer was running at the time...
22 March 1988
KICK Why, Odie! Whatever gave you an idea like that? THIS is a kick! POMP!
23 March 1988
Garfield, if you're going to act like a piece of furniture, I'm going to treat you like a piece of furniture. Idle threats can't move me. Ha ha ha. Very funny, Jon.
24 March 1988
Garfield, let's just stay in today and lounge around. Okaaaay. I feel sorta silly, but I'll give it a shot.
25 March 1988
GARFIELD! Perfect timing.
26 March 1988
CRASH! Hey, Garfield, guess what?! We are going to roller-skate our way to health. NOW, LET'S GET OUT THERE AND DO IT! One side! Here comes your owner, the "Roller Skate King!" AYIEEEEE! HONK! CRASH There goes my owner, the"Roller Skate Hoo
27 March 1988
You gotta take me to the vet, Jon. I'm having trouble sleeping, It seems like I just get into bed... And then, BOOM! Twelve or thirteen hours later I'm wide awake!
28 March 1988
COUGH! WHEEZE! This may be my last hour. Let me spend it in the comfort of my home! Remembe rthe vet appointment, huh? I may never see these four walls again!
29 March 1988
When I can't sleep, it seems like every sound in the house is magnified. THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD Must you?!
30 March 1988
Maybe a good book will help me sleep. A good, BIG book. whap whap whap Sleep! Sleep! Sleep!
31 March 1988