I know insomnia is no laughing matter, Garfield, so I'll keep you company. Let's see...I think I'll regale you with some anectdotes from my life as a boy on the farm. Z
1 April 1988
What's your favorite kind of music? Rock? Jazz? Classical? This way. WHIRRRRR Git down! Uh-huh, uh-huh!
2 April 1988
Hey, Odie. Let's put on a show for Jon. TAPPITY TAPPITY TAPPITY BLAT! SPLUT! Z RIP!CLAW SLASH FITTT GRRR! What did I do?
3 April 1988
BRINNNG! The worst part about being irritated by an inanimate object is there's no rational way to get back at it. Fortunately, I'm not a rational person.
4 April 1988
There's an old show biz saying, "find out what your audience wants and give it to them". BONK! SPLAT! WHAP! Apparently, my audience wants a target.
5 April 1988
Hello, Arlene, the cat of your dreams is here. You're a dream? You bet'cha, baby. I knew I shouldn't have eaten that pizza at bedtime. Ouch.
6 April 1988
Okay, Garfield, in ten seconds the timer will go off. click Capturing for posterity a portrait of a sophisticated young man and his faithful companion. whirrrr SNAP
7 April 1988
I think you're going to like this food, ferny. It's 100% fish meal accor... burp
8 April 1988
I swear, Garfield, you're a glutton who'll eat anything. I AM NOT A GLUTTON! AND THIS ISN'T JUST ANYTHING I am a performing artist and this is my repertoire.
9 April 1988
Howdy, ma'am! You new to these parts? BLUT MOMMIEEE! Oops! EEEEEK! YIP! YIP! YIP! WHI!!!! YAH! This is not a good day in the vanity department.
10 April 1988
Garfield, why don't you like to go outside like other cats? Right, like the time we went to the farm and I wrestled a chicken. You're hopeless. It was humiliating being pinned by ac chicken.
11 April 1988
So what's Mr. Excitement doing today? Collecting dust. I'm going jogging. Wanna go? Can't you see I'm busy? It would get your circulation going. Stop it! You're scaring the dust!
12 April 1988
Hey, Garfield, let's jog around the block. You'll get outside and give those lungs some exercise. No way. I'm beginning to worry about you! And close the door! I don't want any unnecessary air getting in here!
13 April 1988
Welcome to the early morning exercise show! Ready? And one! And two! Ha! Ha! Now you're getting it! It's easy to be cheery in the moring when you're prerecorded.
14 April 1988
Today I'm going to work on push-ups. UNNNGH So much for "push". Tomorrow we work on "up".
15 April 1988
This is what we need, Garfield. A complete entertainment system. It has something for everybody. Really? Then this must be where you warm up the pizza.
16 April 1988
CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK GIMME THAT! CLICK Very well, Jon, have it your way. CLICK Speak softly and carry a big channel changer.
17 April 1988
You watch a lot of TV. Do you know that, Garfield? I can't read. What's your excuse?
18 April 1988
Boy are you fat! Hey, guys! Get a load of lardo here! WHUMP!
19 April 1988
It's been a nice day, Garfield. A peaceful day. Which will end abruptly if you stop scratching my belly.
20 April 1988
From now on I expect you to keep your area clean, Garfield. So I bought you this little broom. Where's the little maid to go with it?
21 April 1988
They say dogs have a strong sense of smell. POOMP! Fortunately, they can't smell a kick coming.
22 April 1988
Radar detects an edible substance on the surface, sir! Up periscope! -
23 April 1988
Are you trying to make me jealous? Come to breakfast, Garfield. How's your coffee, Garfield? Not bad. Good.
24 April 1988
Those tonsils will have to come out, Mr, Arbuckel I'm putting you in the hospital. Okay, doc. Hospitel? JON! DON'T GO! How touching, a cat who's concerned about his owner. WHO'S GOING TO FEED ME?!!
25 April 1988
Aunt Gussie will take care of you while I'm in the hospitel having my tonsils removed. Aunt Gussie?! Oh, great! Oh, come on. She's a sweet old lady. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you meant the same aunt Gussie who was kicked out of the marinesfor unnecessary r
26 April 1988
I miss Jon, Odie. Let's go visot him in the hospital. And while we're there, we'll see if they can reverse lobotomies.
27 April 1988
Good boy, Mr. Arbuckle! I see we cleaned our plate. She's mistaken. Nobody can stomach hospital food with the possible exception of... You were expecting maybe Dr. Schweitzer?
28 April 1988
What kind of a hospital is this, Jon? click The television doesn't work. click click click And how can you sleep on that bed?
29 April 1988
How was your tonsillectomy, Jon? I can barely swallow. Awww, poor baby. Maybe I have your ice cream?
30 April 1988