I tried to impress my date with humor tonight. Uh-oh. At dinner I stuck carrot sticks in my ears and smeared mashed potatoes all over my face. Then what happened? Then she borrowed a quarter and called the police. Ouch.
I'd love to stay and chat, Arlene, but I'm going to the dog pound to pound some dogs. Then, I'm going to the gym to pump some iron. Yes, and I do believe the gymnasium is this way. Welcome to an evening of macho posturing.
You can't buy friendship like this at just any store. BREAKFAST, GARFIELD! squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka! squeaka! squeaka! CRASH! Do be so kind as to level the table, would you please?
Put that down. Don't make me use force, cat. Oh yeah, you and what armeee...ooh Excuse me. SLURP SLURP SLURP I'll never get any sleep with this mutt in the house. Hey, Odie! There's a bone clearance sale at Ed's Meat MArket! -SLAM! AAARRRGGGHH!
You forgot to put creamed corn on the grocery list, Odiecus. Garfield's Cat Primer Why cats are lazy... Cat's point of view. Why cats need help. Cat's point of view. Why cats hate dogs. Cat's point of view. And why cats arevain... A cat's point of view.
Hey, Garfield! Where are you? Oh, just lying here in the corner, thinking about my birthday and counting my wrinkles. The only thing that can cheer me up is to have a really great birthday party...with all my best friends. And YOU'RE notinvited!
So just where are we going on this date, Jon? Skating, my sweet. SKATING?! Yes, but first I thought you might enjoy dining out. Gee, I'm glad I wore my pearls. I'll have 3 triple Binky Burgers with extra nose squeakers.
I can't believe it! I'm so embarrassed! I can't believe I blew a chance to give Liz a good-night kiss! I can't believe I kissed the doorbell! You're supposed to kiss her and close your eyes, not close your eyes and kiss her, you dip!
Well, if this isn't Nermal, the world's cutest kitten. In Person. Tell me...how is it you've uh, you've... I've stayed the same while you've withered like a two-year-old cantaloupe? ARRRGH If you nail'em hard, there's plenty of time for agetaway.
Garfield, these rice cakes are nutritious and low in calories. Bingo! The two magic words that make me retch! ptoo Odieee. Oh, Odie! Odie! I'm stuck up this tree! Go get help! What a guy. What the...? A bowling ball? What good isthis? CRACK! I hate dogs.
I love gourmet cooking, Garfield. If it doesn't move, I'll eat it. cReativity is the key. If it moves a little, I'll eat it. I just can't get the meat loaf inside the Danish. Heck with it. If I can catch it, I'll eat it.
It can't be time to clean uot the refrigerator again. The meat loaf has toadstools. These leftovers haven't been IN there that long. The baked beans need a trim. Thy couldn't POSSIBLY be that old. There' an arrowhead in the guacamole.
I can't beluieve it. Two weeks cooped up with Jon and Odie in the middle of nowhere. If I don't get to visit with some rel humanity soon, I'm going to go starkers! So...rock, read and good books lately?
My, my, what's gotten into you this morning? It's what's NOT gotten into me. I'm on a diet, you freak. I thought fat people were supposed to be jolly. They're ecstatic they're not on diets. Come on...cheer up. Oh, very well.
Delbert's doughnut shop...hello? YOU WANT DOUGHNUTS? WE GOT CREAM FILLED DOUGHNUTS, CHOCOLATE DOUGHNUTS, JELLY FILLED DOUGHNUTS, HELLO? ANYBODY THERE? CLICK! I like staying in touch with my loved ones.
sniff sniff sniff sniff The mighty hunter. No Lifeguard On Duty. TOO-WHIT WHIT WHIT BAYEEEEEOOOOOUUU YORBLE YORBLE YORBLE GREEEEEBELNICK NICK NICK NICK . Hm...it's not working. Maybe I "nicked' when I should have "greeeebeled".
Garfield, do you realize I probably saved you from a life of living in the streets? scratch scratch scratch And now I spoil you rooten. Bless you, Jon. scratch scratch acratch Now let's get that backside, shall we?
Heeeeey, kids! Wanna see Binky do a magic trick? Well, forget it! I'm not speding another minute in this supid clown suit! A am an actor! But, noooo...too short they said!... Third time this week. He's lost it.
Just think, Odie, our lives are in his hands. THUNK! This chair isn't level. thunk thunk That's easy enough to fix. KACHINK-KACHINK KACHINK-KACHINK-KACHINK KACHINK-KACHINK-KACHINK KACHINK-KACHINK-KACHINK GARFIELD!!!