Garfield! You missed my new year's party! Define, "party". Well, we had a great time without you. Bobbing for seedless grapes in fruit punch isn't my idea of a great time. I suppose you went to some wild blowout. That's what the SWATteam called
What...no fries? Boy, is Jon going to be sorry he put me on his diet. Well, I hope you're happy, Jon. Look what this diet has done to me. You know, Garfield, I think you've lost too much weight. That's an understatement. Here, havean apple. BONK BONK ARRG
Hum...Garfield, it says here that doctors now say diets don't work. Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! SMACK SLURP MUNCH Hey, Odie, do you know what they put in dog food? Dog food has lizards and yak lips and gum that'salready been chewed and
I tried to impress my date with humor tonight. Uh-oh. At dinner I stuck carrot sticks in my ears and smeared mashed potatoes all over my face. Then what happened? Then she borrowed a quarter and called the police. Ouch.
And now! The great Odini shall escape from the watery chamber of death. Rats! I woke up. I swear this happens to me every day! It's another "hurts-to-move" moring. I'd say my eyelids weigh about 38 pounds...each. GARFIELD! TIME TO GETUP! Garfiel
I wonder if the french foreign legion needs a cat. Jon's party appears to be going well. I'll hide in here till dessert is served. How about some fondue, everybody? YAAAAAA Garfield! You're sitting in the punch bowl. Oh sure! Tryto change the subject, you
I'd love to stay and chat, Arlene, but I'm going to the dog pound to pound some dogs. Then, I'm going to the gym to pump some iron. Yes, and I do believe the gymnasium is this way. Welcome to an evening of macho posturing.
You can't buy friendship like this at just any store. BREAKFAST, GARFIELD! squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka! squeaka! squeaka! CRASH! Do be so kind as to level the table, would you please?
Put that down. Don't make me use force, cat. Oh yeah, you and what armeee...ooh Excuse me. SLURP SLURP SLURP I'll never get any sleep with this mutt in the house. Hey, Odie! There's a bone clearance sale at Ed's Meat MArket! -SLAM! AAARRRGGGHH!
You forgot to put creamed corn on the grocery list, Odiecus. Garfield's Cat Primer Why cats are lazy... Cat's point of view. Why cats need help. Cat's point of view. Why cats hate dogs. Cat's point of view. And why cats arevain... A cat's point of view.
Diet gotcha down, Garfield? I'm lower than a snake's belly in a wagon rut. I have about as much chance of surviving this diet as a one-legged opossum on a freeway. Why, soon, you'll be skinnier than a string been in a pumpkin patch.That's the stupidest th
This is a story about high hopes dashed in the big city... It's not a pretty story, but...I'm not a pretty cat... It was a dreary night in the warehouse district. I knew what I had to do... I had to open the door... No matter what... -And then it happene
Hey, Garfield! Where are you? Oh, just lying here in the corner, thinking about my birthday and counting my wrinkles. The only thing that can cheer me up is to have a really great birthday party...with all my best friends. And YOU'RE notinvited!
Z I can't believe I'll be eleven years old tomorrow. Oh, well, time to get these old bones out of bed. Okay, toes. crack crack crack crack crack crack Okay, knees. Okay, arms. crack crack crack crack Okay, knuckles. Okay, neck.crack crack crack crack crac
So just where are we going on this date, Jon? Skating, my sweet. SKATING?! Yes, but first I thought you might enjoy dining out. Gee, I'm glad I wore my pearls. I'll have 3 triple Binky Burgers with extra nose squeakers.
I can't believe it! I'm so embarrassed! I can't believe I blew a chance to give Liz a good-night kiss! I can't believe I kissed the doorbell! You're supposed to kiss her and close your eyes, not close your eyes and kiss her, you dip!
Hey, Garfield. Do we have any cheese? Yes, we have that in green or brown. I'm thinking about cleaning the refrigerator out! You can't do that! This food has great historical significance! This spaghetti sauce was used to cauterizewounds during the civil
Just what is success? To some it's wealth and notoriety...to some it's a simple sense of self-worth, but to me it's contributing something toward the betterment of mankind. What's your definition of success, Garfield? Being able to eat 20pizzas without th
The prima ballerina jetes onto the stage. The olympic gymnast finishes his routine with a full back layout. Here we are in the final round of the hopscotch competition. The jackhammer operator rips through 12 inches of concrete. Oh,Garfield. Why can't yo
Sit on that egg for ya, lady? Hey, Odie, guess who's going to the vet today? Poor Odie. I had an uncle who went to the vet once... While he was there, they removed his brain and replaced it with the brin of a chicken. He spent therest of his life breaking
Well, if this isn't Nermal, the world's cutest kitten. In Person. Tell me...how is it you've uh, you've... I've stayed the same while you've withered like a two-year-old cantaloupe? ARRRGH If you nail'em hard, there's plenty of time for agetaway.
Garfield, these rice cakes are nutritious and low in calories. Bingo! The two magic words that make me retch! ptoo Odieee. Oh, Odie! Odie! I'm stuck up this tree! Go get help! What a guy. What the...? A bowling ball? What good isthis? CRACK! I hate dogs.
I love gourmet cooking, Garfield. If it doesn't move, I'll eat it. cReativity is the key. If it moves a little, I'll eat it. I just can't get the meat loaf inside the Danish. Heck with it. If I can catch it, I'll eat it.
That's right, kids. It's always nice to share. Soda pop. * Rats! I just can't get comfortable. If I can't get comfortable, I'll never get to sleep! Wait a minute...maybe if I raised my right arm and leg and laid my head back and gotmy tail out of the way.
It can't be time to clean uot the refrigerator again. The meat loaf has toadstools. These leftovers haven't been IN there that long. The baked beans need a trim. Thy couldn't POSSIBLY be that old. There' an arrowhead in the guacamole.
I think there's something wrong with this lasagna recipe. Watch ad learn. Survival is my life, Garfield. Watch me set up camp. First we unpack our food, then roll out our sleeping bags... Build the campfire... rub rub rub rub Andfinally set up the tent. L
Here we are, boys. Out here with mother nature, no cars, no clocks, no stress. ...no TV, no microwave, no refrigerator, no indoor litter box. Grrrrr Odie! Did you hear that? That sounded like a bear! LET'S GET OUTTA HERE! Whew! Wemade it! We're safe! Mayb
I can't beluieve it. Two weeks cooped up with Jon and Odie in the middle of nowhere. If I don't get to visit with some rel humanity soon, I'm going to go starkers! So...rock, read and good books lately?
...and I have a hundred more pet stories. I guess the party's over. Ye-ha! Whoopee! * Party! Let's have a party! Yee-ha! I hate fleas. Ya-hoo! This spray should do the trick. Gas! Hit the deck, boys! PSSST!Ack! Cough, cough. Medic? They got Sam! Speak to
I say, "why diet?" I say, "why don't the do something about gravity?" This is it, Garfield! I've made up my mind! I'm throwing them out! Attaboy! Go get !em! CLICK Okay, time to go! HEY! WHAT'RE YOU DOING?! -WHA...WHOA...-WHA?!...HEY!
My, my, what's gotten into you this morning? It's what's NOT gotten into me. I'm on a diet, you freak. I thought fat people were supposed to be jolly. They're ecstatic they're not on diets. Come on...cheer up. Oh, very well.
* Oh, mouseeeey! Why don't you come out and see me? * I can see you fine from heeeere * Get out here, mouse, or I'm coming in after you! Ha! You couldn't even get your fat head through the hole. Oh, yeah? Well we'll just see! About that,gorgonzola lips! U
Delbert's doughnut shop...hello? YOU WANT DOUGHNUTS? WE GOT CREAM FILLED DOUGHNUTS, CHOCOLATE DOUGHNUTS, JELLY FILLED DOUGHNUTS, HELLO? ANYBODY THERE? CLICK! I like staying in touch with my loved ones.
sniff sniff sniff sniff The mighty hunter. No Lifeguard On Duty. TOO-WHIT WHIT WHIT BAYEEEEEOOOOOUUU YORBLE YORBLE YORBLE GREEEEEBELNICK NICK NICK NICK . Hm...it's not working. Maybe I "nicked' when I should have "greeeebeled".
After years of taking life for granted, Garfield is shaken by a horrifying vision of the inevitable process called "time". He has only one weapon... DEnial... I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE Want some breakfast, Garfield? Who needs it? I needyou! An im
Garfield, do you realize I probably saved you from a life of living in the streets? scratch scratch scratch And now I spoil you rooten. Bless you, Jon. scratch scratch acratch Now let's get that backside, shall we?
Anything else you'd care to fix, Jon? zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Hello there, little housefly. Wait! You're not a housefly! You're a Zordogian Sun Sponge, sent here to rob the planet earth of all its sunbeams! But wait! They get their energyfrom the sun! If I clos
Heeeeey, kids! Wanna see Binky do a magic trick? Well, forget it! I'm not speding another minute in this supid clown suit! A am an actor! But, noooo...too short they said!... Third time this week. He's lost it.
Just think, Odie, our lives are in his hands. THUNK! This chair isn't level. thunk thunk That's easy enough to fix. KACHINK-KACHINK KACHINK-KACHINK-KACHINK KACHINK-KACHINK-KACHINK KACHINK-KACHINK-KACHINK GARFIELD!!!
Sigh. Sure is a quiet, lazy sunday afternoon, isn't it, Garfield? Sure is. Kinda makes me feel like singin' the blues. * Ain't got change for a nickel, ain't got laces for my shoes, now my baby's left me... ** ain't got nothin' but theblues. * HEY THERE,
Okay, okay, no more Christmas carols. My public awaits. jingle jingle jingle jingle, jingle, jingle Season's greetings, holiday revelers. How do you get to the north pole? Why just go to the south pole and head anywhere! Why doSanta's reindeer fly?... It'
I feel festive! Garfield, what do you really, REALLY, want for Christmas? What I really, REALLY, want is... ...uh, I guess it's hard to gift wrap sleep, isn't it` And food, I get food all year 'round. Got my teddy bear and my bedand this house... And my f
You know, Garfield, it's tough being the life of the party. You couldn't be the life of the party at a morgue. Stand aside, Garfield. There's a wild and crazy new year's party out there with my name on it! Can I go, too? Now while I'mbusy being the life o