- Garfield! You missed my new year's party! Define, "party". - Well, we had a great time without you. Bobbing for seedless grapes in fruit punch isn't my idea of a great time. - I suppose you went to some wild blowout. That's what the SWAT
1 January 1989
Well, Garfield, it looks like we packed on a little weight over the holidays. What do you mean "wee." fat-man? - Only humans gain weight. - Cats get more "buddhaesques". pat pat
2 January 1989
Garfield, we are going on a diet. Uh...just what do you mean by "we"? - By "we", do you mean you and this blanket? - I don't think I'm getting through to him. Odie, Jon has some bad news for you.
3 January 1989
Garfield, you shouldn't take food for Garfield. - - He's right. An artificial color died to provide me with this meal.
4 January 1989
This salad needs something. - I think I'll garnish it. - WITH A HAM! WHAM!
5 January 1989
As a reward for staying on your diet, I'm going to allow you to have some sugar with your coffee today. - - Let me rephrase that
6 January 1989
Garfield, I know dieting is though fo you. - But, you've really sunk to the depths this time! - Hey! I'm sure I'm not the first Dieter to lick the pages of his candy wrapper collection.
7 January 1989
What...no fries? - - Boy, is Jon going to be sorry he put me on his diet. - Well, I hope you're happy, Jon. Look what this diet has done to me. - You know, Garfield, I think you've lost too much weight. That's an understatement. - Here, have
8 January 1989
Maybe watching television will take my mind off this diet. - And now, back to...Bowling for the Meat Loaf. -
9 January 1989
I'll just put some pepper on my carrot here. - Hey! Wait a minute! - That tastes like chocolate cake! Let's hear it for food processors.
10 January 1989
Diets - Diets are like Jon's socks... - They stink.
11 January 1989
Ah, it says here carrots are on my diet. - And this is a "carrot" cake. - A LOOPHOLE!
12 January 1989
- - Yes, even your toe is overweight.
13 January 1989
Here you go, Garfield. PLOP - Leftovers. Leftover from what? - SPLAT! THE SPANISH INQUISITION?
14 January 1989
Hum...Garfield, it says here that doctors now say diets don't work. Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! - SMACK SLURP MUNCH - Hey, Odie, do you know what they put in dog food? - Dog food has lizards and yak lips and gum that's
15 January 1989
Garfield, I worry about you. - I know you hate getting up... - But, lynching the alarm clock? I had it coming.
16 January 1989
I tried to impress my date with humor tonight. Uh-oh. - At dinner I stuck carrot sticks in my ears and smeared mashed potatoes all over my face. Then what happened? - Then she borrowed a quarter and called the police. Ouch.
17 January 1989
Mr. Arbuckle, it's about your cat... - As a government employee I deserve respect. - And I'm not getting any. What's a matter? Can't take a joke?
18 January 1989
You call this taking care of the mouse problem? keep a safe distance, Jon. - You are not normal. This is going to work. - Feed 'em 20 pounds of cheese and watch'em explode!
19 January 1989
This is a great book. - "Things To Do ON A Rainy Day" - Do you feel a draft in here? - Chapter one: "Fun With The Electric Razor".
20 January 1989
This is fun. - Garfield, how many sardines do you hav ein your mouth? One hundred nineteen. - WHY?! I'm playing fish hatchery.
21 January 1989
Well, Christmas and new year's have come and gone. Nothing to do but sleep till easter. - - - - - - Oh, very well, Garfield. You may have my steak. - I know, I'm a sucker for the loving adoration of a pet.
22 January 1989
I hate morning, I hate monday, I hate january. - SLAM - And I REALLY hate having the windowsill slam down on your fingers.
23 January 1989
The bedroom is freezing this morning. - I'd better turn the heat up. - OR GET THE CAT OFF THE CRATE!
24 January 1989
Gee, a new coffee with twice the caffeine. - It even comes with a tiny crowbar. - To pry your fingers off the cup. WHOAH!
25 January 1989
- SPLANG - Ah yes, the ol' "seconds away from blissful slumber" body spasm.
26 January 1989
Pop! - Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! - We'r eout of popcorn.
27 January 1989
Garfield, would you say I have an interesting personality? - Yes, I would. - I'd be lying, but I'd say it.
28 January 1989
And now! The great Odini shall escape from the watery chamber of death. - Rats! I woke up. I swear this happens to me every day! - It's another "hurts-to-move" moring. - I'd say my eyelids weigh about 38 pounds...each. - GARFIELD! TIME TO GET
29 January 1989
What a boring life I have. - How could anyone have a more boring life? This is it, Garfield! - Today's the day I tweeze my ear hairs! I guess anything is possible.
30 January 1989
- HI, ODIE! - THUD! That was too easy.
31 January 1989