Garfield! You missed my new year's party! Define, "party". Well, we had a great time without you. Bobbing for seedless grapes in fruit punch isn't my idea of a great time. I suppose you went to some wild blowout. That's what the SWATteam called
1 January 1989
Well, Garfield, it looks like we packed on a little weight over the holidays. What do you mean "wee." fat-man? Only humans gain weight. Cats get more "buddhaesques". pat pat
2 January 1989
Garfield, we are going on a diet. Uh...just what do you mean by "we"? By "we", do you mean you and this blanket? I don't think I'm getting through to him. Odie, Jon has some bad news for you.
3 January 1989
Garfield, you shouldn't take food for Garfield. He's right. An artificial color died to provide me with this meal.
4 January 1989
This salad needs something. I think I'll garnish it. WITH A HAM! WHAM!
5 January 1989
As a reward for staying on your diet, I'm going to allow you to have some sugar with your coffee today. Let me rephrase that
6 January 1989
Garfield, I know dieting is though fo you. But, you've really sunk to the depths this time! Hey! I'm sure I'm not the first Dieter to lick the pages of his candy wrapper collection.
7 January 1989
What...no fries? Boy, is Jon going to be sorry he put me on his diet. Well, I hope you're happy, Jon. Look what this diet has done to me. You know, Garfield, I think you've lost too much weight. That's an understatement. Here, havean apple. BONK BONK ARRG
8 January 1989
Maybe watching television will take my mind off this diet. And now, back to...Bowling for the Meat Loaf. -
9 January 1989
I'll just put some pepper on my carrot here. Hey! Wait a minute! That tastes like chocolate cake! Let's hear it for food processors.
10 January 1989
Diets Diets are like Jon's socks... They stink.
11 January 1989
Ah, it says here carrots are on my diet. And this is a "carrot" cake. A LOOPHOLE!
12 January 1989
Yes, even your toe is overweight.
13 January 1989
Here you go, Garfield. PLOP Leftovers. Leftover from what? SPLAT! THE SPANISH INQUISITION?
14 January 1989
Hum...Garfield, it says here that doctors now say diets don't work. Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! SMACK SLURP MUNCH Hey, Odie, do you know what they put in dog food? Dog food has lizards and yak lips and gum that'salready been chewed and
15 January 1989
Garfield, I worry about you. I know you hate getting up... But, lynching the alarm clock? I had it coming.
16 January 1989
I tried to impress my date with humor tonight. Uh-oh. At dinner I stuck carrot sticks in my ears and smeared mashed potatoes all over my face. Then what happened? Then she borrowed a quarter and called the police. Ouch.
17 January 1989
Mr. Arbuckle, it's about your cat... As a government employee I deserve respect. And I'm not getting any. What's a matter? Can't take a joke?
18 January 1989
You call this taking care of the mouse problem? keep a safe distance, Jon. You are not normal. This is going to work. Feed 'em 20 pounds of cheese and watch'em explode!
19 January 1989
This is a great book. "Things To Do ON A Rainy Day" Do you feel a draft in here? Chapter one: "Fun With The Electric Razor".
20 January 1989
This is fun. Garfield, how many sardines do you hav ein your mouth? One hundred nineteen. WHY?! I'm playing fish hatchery.
21 January 1989
Well, Christmas and new year's have come and gone. Nothing to do but sleep till easter. Oh, very well, Garfield. You may have my steak. I know, I'm a sucker for the loving adoration of a pet.
22 January 1989
I hate morning, I hate monday, I hate january. SLAM And I REALLY hate having the windowsill slam down on your fingers.
23 January 1989
The bedroom is freezing this morning. I'd better turn the heat up. OR GET THE CAT OFF THE CRATE!
24 January 1989
Gee, a new coffee with twice the caffeine. It even comes with a tiny crowbar. To pry your fingers off the cup. WHOAH!
25 January 1989
SPLANG Ah yes, the ol' "seconds away from blissful slumber" body spasm.
26 January 1989
Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! We'r eout of popcorn.
27 January 1989
Garfield, would you say I have an interesting personality? Yes, I would. I'd be lying, but I'd say it.
28 January 1989
And now! The great Odini shall escape from the watery chamber of death. Rats! I woke up. I swear this happens to me every day! It's another "hurts-to-move" moring. I'd say my eyelids weigh about 38 pounds...each. GARFIELD! TIME TO GETUP! Garfiel
29 January 1989
What a boring life I have. How could anyone have a more boring life? This is it, Garfield! Today's the day I tweeze my ear hairs! I guess anything is possible.
30 January 1989
HI, ODIE! THUD! That was too easy.
31 January 1989