Here comes Arlene. She's crazy about me. I hate it when you grovel like that, Arlene!
1 May 1989
Here comes Arlene. I think I'll suck in my stomach and throw out my chest. You got it backwards again, dummy.
2 May 1989
Hey, Arlene, bay-bee...wanna sit on the fence and howl? Blow it out your fire hydrant, blimpo. GOOSH!
3 May 1989
Come up on the fence with me, Arlene. How do I get up there? Take my hand, little lady. I said "take," not "pull"!
4 May 1989
Arlene, your lips are as red as tomato sauce... Your skin is as pale as uncooked pasta... Your eyea! They're soft as mozzarella! Your hair!... Hey, Valentino! Is this a date or a feeding reanzy?
5 May 1989
Do you have any pets, Jon? Yes. A cat and a dog. Really? What kind of cat? Oh, just an ordinary house cat. I just drowned the alarm clock. Okay, I lied.
6 May 1989
Yawn wind wind wind wind wind wind wind wind wind wind wind wind wind wind wind wind wind wind * WIND WIND WIND WIN SPROIIING! Perfect.
7 May 1989
Z RIIINNNG! SPLOT! RIIIINNNG! Hellooo monday.
8 May 1989
Here I stand on the top of the world. Master of all I see. None dare challenge me, unless of course they be fools, or... -
9 May 1989
Yes, Nermal, life is a complicated thing. You get out of it what you put into it. That was pretty intellectual. Any questions? Is it hard to talk with six chins? I hate you.
10 May 1989
GIDDYAD, YOU FLEA-BITTEN PLUG! TO THE CORRAL, YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF HORSEFLESH! Stupid pet door.
11 May 1989
This is my beddy-bye time checklist. Blanket?...Check. Food?...Check. Pooky?...Check. Alarm clock?... Check.
12 May 1989
clomp! clomp! clomp! CLOMP! CLOMP! CLOMP! CLOMP! CLOMP!
13 May 1989
You forgot to put creamed corn on the grocery list, Odiecus. Garfield's Cat Primer Why cats are lazy... Cat's point of view. Why cats need help. Cat's point of view. Why cats hate dogs. Cat's point of view. And why cats arevain... A cat's point of view.
14 May 1989
You gotta go on a diet, Garfield. Even your face is getting fat. Whose face is fat?
15 May 1989
Ah, that was a nice meal. CRUMBS! It's diet week. slup slup slup slup
16 May 1989
I know it's natural to clean up your dish when you're on a diet... slurp slurp slurp But, if you're not careful, you'll lick a hole right through that bowl! Guess again, sucker.
17 May 1989
GLUP GLUP Oh no! I've been on this diet too long! I'VE FORGOTTEN HOW TO SWALLOW!
18 May 1989
Diet gotcha down, Garfield? I'm lower than a snake's belly in a wagon rut. I have about as much chance of surviving this diet as a one-legged opossum on a freeway. Why, soon, you'll be skinnier than a string been in a pumpkin patch.That's the stupidest th
19 May 1989
zzzzzzz zzzzzz Nice try, flabbo
20 May 1989
Z Wow! jelly beans! I love jelly beans! SLURP!
21 May 1989
Try this new cat food, Garfield. No thanks. It has beef, liver, chicken... Not interested. Leg of a mailman. You wouldn't kid about that, would you?
22 May 1989
I hate it when mud build up on my feet. knock knock knock YAAAH!
23 May 1989
Up and at 'em, Garfield! There's a big, wide, wonderful world out there! True... But, there's a small, soft, warm bed in here.
24 May 1989
tap tap -
25 May 1989
Odie left his brain to science. And they made an early withdrawal.
26 May 1989
27 May 1989
This is a story about high hopes dashed in the big city... It's not a pretty story, but...I'm not a pretty cat... It was a dreary night in the warehouse district. I knew what I had to do... I had to open the door... No matter what... -And then it happene
28 May 1989
I'm exhausted! I guess I overdid it. That's the last time I take three naps in a row without a break.
29 May 1989
Hello? Debbie, my sweet? YOU FAT GREEDY PIG! I OUGHTA SHAVE YOU AND PUT YOU OUT I THE COLD! CLICK Hello?
30 May 1989
Do you think this tie is too wide, Garfield? Absolutely not. However, you do need to gain about 300 pounds.
31 May 1989