Here comes Arlene. She's crazy about me. - - I hate it when you grovel like that, Arlene!
1 May 1989
Here comes Arlene. I think I'll suck in my stomach and throw out my chest. - - You got it backwards again, dummy.
2 May 1989
Hey, Arlene, bay-bee...wanna sit on the fence and howl? - Blow it out your fire hydrant, blimpo. - GOOSH!
3 May 1989
Come up on the fence with me, Arlene. - How do I get up there? Take my hand, little lady. - I said "take," not "pull"!
4 May 1989
Arlene, your lips are as red as tomato sauce... - Your skin is as pale as uncooked pasta... - Your eyea! They're soft as mozzarella! Your hair!... Hey, Valentino! Is this a date or a feeding reanzy?
5 May 1989
Do you have any pets, Jon? Yes. A cat and a dog. - Really? What kind of cat? Oh, just an ordinary house cat. - I just drowned the alarm clock. Okay, I lied.
6 May 1989
Yawn - wind wind wind wind - wind wind wind wind wind wind wind - wind wind wind wind wind wind wind * - WIND WIND WIND WIN- - SPROIIING! - Perfect.
7 May 1989
Z - RIIINNNG! SPLOT! - RIIIINNNG! Hellooo monday.
8 May 1989
Here I stand on the top of the world. Master of all I see. - None dare challenge me, unless of course they be fools, or... -
9 May 1989
Yes, Nermal, life is a complicated thing. You get out of it what you put into it. - That was pretty intellectual. Any questions? - Is it hard to talk with six chins? I hate you.
10 May 1989
GIDDYAD, YOU FLEA-BITTEN PLUG! - TO THE CORRAL, YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF HORSEFLESH! - Stupid pet door.
11 May 1989
This is my beddy-bye time checklist. - Blanket?...Check. - Food?...Check. Pooky?...Check. Alarm clock?... - Check.
12 May 1989
clomp! clomp! clomp! - CLOMP! CLOMP! CLOMP! CLOMP! - CLOMP!
13 May 1989
You forgot to put creamed corn on the grocery list, Odiecus. - Garfield's Cat Primer - Why cats are lazy... - Cat's point of view. - Why cats need help. - Cat's point of view. - Why cats hate dogs. - Cat's point of view. And why cats are
14 May 1989
You gotta go on a diet, Garfield. - Even your face is getting fat. - Whose face is fat?
15 May 1989
Ah, that was a nice meal. - CRUMBS! - It's diet week. slup slup slup slup
16 May 1989
I know it's natural to clean up your dish when you're on a diet... slurp slurp slurp - But, if you're not careful, you'll lick a hole right through that bowl! - Guess again, sucker.
17 May 1989
GLUP GLUP - Oh no! I've been on this diet too long! - I'VE FORGOTTEN HOW TO SWALLOW!
18 May 1989
Diet gotcha down, Garfield? I'm lower than a snake's belly in a wagon rut. - I have about as much chance of surviving this diet as a one-legged opossum on a freeway. - Why, soon, you'll be skinnier than a string been in a pumpkin patch.
19 May 1989
zzzzzzz - zzzzzz - Nice try, flabbo
20 May 1989
Z - Wow! jelly beans! I love jelly beans! - - - - - - SLURP!
21 May 1989
Try this new cat food, Garfield. No thanks. - It has beef, liver, chicken... Not interested. - Leg of a mailman. You wouldn't kid about that, would you?
22 May 1989
I hate it when mud build up on my feet. - knock knock knock - YAAAH!
23 May 1989
Up and at 'em, Garfield! - There's a big, wide, wonderful world out there! True... - But, there's a small, soft, warm bed in here.
24 May 1989
- tap tap -
25 May 1989
Odie left his brain to science. - - And they made an early withdrawal.
26 May 1989
Z - Z
27 May 1989
- This is a story about high hopes dashed in the big city... - It's not a pretty story, but...I'm not a pretty cat... - It was a dreary night in the warehouse district. I knew what I had to do... I had to open the door... No matter what... -
28 May 1989
I'm exhausted! - I guess I overdid it. - That's the last time I take three naps in a row without a break.
29 May 1989
Hello? Debbie, my sweet? - YOU FAT GREEDY PIG! I OUGHTA SHAVE YOU AND PUT YOU OUT I THE COLD! - CLICK Hello?
30 May 1989
Do you think this tie is too wide, Garfield? - Absolutely not. - However, you do need to gain about 300 pounds.
31 May 1989