Welcome to "Truth is Stranger Than Fiction Theater". The following story you are about to see is absolutely true. Except, of course, for the stuff we made up to make it more interesting. I love television.
Vacancy > Hungry, Garfield? The mighty lion lies in wait... He spies a herd of eggs over easy! They become skittish, sensing danger... HE STRIKES! The village dam bursts, sending orange juice gushing through the melee! Can't Ihave a normal breakfast? S
Now this is my kind of refrigerator magnet. Z Hmmm, the stare'im-in-the-face-till-he-wakes-up-routine isn't working. Z Z WHAP WHAP WHAP And the slap'im-silly-with-the-tail routine isn't either. Z It's time to call in the heavyartillery. Oh, Odie! You know
HEY! Yeah, you! The one sitting there reading this paper. GOT ANYTHING TO EAT? sniff sniff Oh-ho! What's that? Looks like a bowl of food for me. And Jon's nowhere around... Looks like I'll have to serve myself. TUG Couldn'twait, could you? tap tap tap
Now, there's a face that would make even a mother scream. coo-coo coo-coo Garfield, I could sit here and pet you all evening. But it's almost seven and I have to get ready for my date. You'll have to get down now. I like it here. -C'mon, Garfield! She'll
SEE The World's Fattest Cat Tickets I'd be very upset about this if I weren't getting 10% of the gate. Jon says I'm not pulling my weight around here. So there are a few mice around. Big deal. And one or two squirrels, so what? -I think the armadillo herd
Hey, carp face, remember the reptile? That dance we used to do on the floor? What a hoot! Let's do it! * Yeah, let's do the reptile ** The ** Rep-rep-rep-rep-reptile. I can't get up. Neither can I And they say you can't go back.
Grrrr I'm glad I'm near the sink. Boy, that was fun. Thanks for coming to visit, Wheezer. Yeah, it was great catching up old school days. Well so long...and HONK! HONK! HONK! BOOGA! BOOGA! BOOGA! WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP! slap slap slapYADDA! YADDA! YADDA! WHE
* Got a date with my dream chick. She is cure and that's just a start. * Oh, yeah, she's a vet, and better yet she'll make a house call on my heart. ** * * Doo wop doo wop You are witnessing a phenomenon known ad the mating ritual of thenerd.
Oh, Garfield. Garfield, I'm going to teach you self-control. This is a box of kitty treats... Do not take the kitty treats. I'm leaving the room now. You are not to take the kitty treats. Okay! I'm coming back to it now! The kittytreats had better be ther
THE SINK'S OVERLFOWING! Well bail it out. YOU CLOGGED IT UP WITH YOUR STUPID CAT HAIR! Excuse me for being a cat. I don'thave to take this. I'm going to stand out here, in the rain, till Jon apologizes. CLICK Ah, he's come to hissenses. GOOSH
Did you know you can harm planty by talking to them? Observe. Then I got into stamp collecting. I liked to stick them to my forehead... I had red ones, and green ones, and blue ones, and pink ones... Not a pretty sight.
DING DONG * The mailman's here. Good, I haven't had a bite in weeks. Garfield, meet my new assistant, Waldo. Waldo, what is this? CAT! And what does Waldo do with cats? JUMP ON! And do you know why? MAKE FUNNY NOISE! Any mail? No,and I need a ride to the
Hello? Yes, this is Jon Arbuckle. The police? You say vegetation is dying? Crops are ruined? People are dropping in the streets? Well, yes, I did. Yes, sir, I will...right away. I have to put my shoes back on. That explains the peelingwallpaper.
Z KLUNK! Fall out of bed again, Garfield? This is really embarrassing. Hang on a minute...I may have a solution. There we go. My belt ought to keep you from falling out again. CRASH! Fall out of your pants again, Jon? This isreally embarrassing.
Wanna go jogging? I'm busy. Honestly, Garfield. I have the feeling you think more of that teddy bear than you do of me! Pay no attention to ol' what's-his-name, Pookie.This rain is never going to stop. Let's pack up and go home. That's it! Let's go! SLAM!
Why is that teddy bear of mine always getting lost? Why can't I ever find him? POOOOOOOO-KY! And why am I cupping my hands over my mouth? CLOMP! CLOMP! CLOMP! CLOMP! CLOMP! CLOMP! Time to eat? CLOMP! CLOMP! Time to eat. CLOMP!
Z GARFIELD, BREAKFAST! Z boing boing boing doinga doinga doinga doinga doinga boing doinga doinga doinga doinga doinga doinga You could stand to skip a meal, Mr. Doinga Doinga. doinga doinga doinga doinga doinga Rats.
Look at this, Garfield! "Challenge your intellect! Discover the creative you! Meet vital stimulating people!" I'm gonna do it, Garfield! I'm gonna take a pottery class! The Leonardo da Vinci Academy of Pottery?
I don't know why you're insisting on coming to pottery class with me, Garfield. I wouldn't miss this for the world. I want to see these "vital and stimulating peaople" the ad in the paper promised. Are these the students or the pots?
Hi there, I'm Jon Arbuckle, this is my first night in pottery class, what are you making? A MAN! It doesn't look much like a man. Well, whatever it is, it's a darn sight better than my fourth husband, Waldo! Poor Waldo.
Hi, I'm Jon Arbuckle. Hello. My name's Kimmy. I've never seen you before in pottery class. Tonight's my first class. Well, I think you'll enjoy it. I know that look. You're going to ask her out, aren't you? So when are you going to ask meout?
Would you go out with me, Kimmy? Don't do it, Jon! There's something strange about her. That would be nice! GREAT! We cats have a sixth sense about these things. We'll do dinner. plus, she's making a pile of clay eyebrows.
Whoops! Darn, I dropped an egg. You said taht like you expect me to eat it off the floor. You're too lazy to clean it up, so let the cat have it, right? Sure, the cat's a warthog! He'll eat off the floor! Good kitty. Shut up anddrop some toast.
Well, I suppose we'll have to get ANOTHER Christmas tree, Garfield, since you destroyed the first one. Put it out of its misery, is more like it. Hey! This looks like a good place! Honest Frosty's USED TREES Jon, Jon, Jon.
Hmmm, maybe a bit crooked. Okay, Mr. Picky. Okay, boys, we must decide on a Christmas tree. We could get a live tree. This one's a tad big. Think so? Odie seems to like that one. sniff sniff Jon! Jon! I found it! We can get lotsof presents under this one!
It's not the most perfect tree, boys, but, we'll turn the scraggy side to the wall. How true. That's what I love about Christmas. It's the time of the year whenb everyone turns their scraggly side to the wall and peace and happiness abound. 'This the seas