Beware Of Dog Beware Of Appetite YAWN brrrrr p-p-p...pu...-pu... pu-pu-pu-p-p-p-p-pu-pu-pu-purrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrr... WHEEZE! sputter sputter P-P-P-P... GASP WHEEEEE... sigh Sometimes it's hard to get your motor running ona cold morning.
Which is smarter, the dog, or the tree stump? Let's find out. Who want's to fetch Jon's old, stinky sweat sock? Another of nature's mysteries solved.Did you know that pets are good for exercise? BURP -
This is getting out of hands. Gentlemen, start your engines! The crowd is tense as the race cars inch to the starting line... scoot scoot scoot And as the starting light flashes green, our hero punches the gas! SHOOM! grrrrrr
Garfield, what are you doing? Pretending I'm on the "Animal Kingdom" show. You just lie araound! I've been hit with a tranquilizer dart. You're lazy! Soon I'll be tagged, so they can study my migration patterns.
Quick! Turn to channel five! It's tie for "Gone Fishin' with Billy Bob Beauchamp"! What's the deal, Garfield? Here, read this! "This week Billy Bob removes a hook from his neck". They've been hyping it for weeks!
Sigh Jon's had me on this diet, like, forever. Hey! What the...?! YAAAAHHHH!!! YAAAH!!! YAAAHH!! What is it, Garfield? Something wrong with your feet? Feet?...Feet?...Those are feet?! Hey, and I bet those wiggly things on the endare toes, right?
Si-gh. We had a cat back on the farm. Here we go. He was a good old cat. And a great hunter. Whenever he caught a mouse, he'd bring it to the house. Sort of an offering from pet to master. I miss those days.
Hey! This is my chair! rrrrr Shoo! Shoo! Get off! Grrrr Fffft Boys! Boys! That chair is big enough for both of you! Now share! He's right, Odie. Let's stop bickering. We can each use half of the cushion, okay? I'll take the tophalf.
Garfield, I think I've lost my identity. Nonsense! I'll help you find it. Nobody listens to me. Yup, it's right here in the trash compactor. Nobody respects me. Right next to your dignity and intelligence.
Sniffff...ahhh! C'mon, Garfield! Let's go for a walk! Z What a great day to romp in the grass! Z And for climbing trees! * Z Race you home! How exhilarating! We should do this every day. Z It's off to the shower! I just dreamt Iwas Fay Wray!
I * My Food * I hate this part. So, doc, how's Garfield? Fine. And how's Odie? Fine. And how are you? Fine. Okay if i pay by check? Fine. How about a date? Fine. YEEESS!! YEEESS!! THAT'S CHEATING! If you can't attract 'em, trick'em.
Sniff-sniff...boy, these flaming croquettes sure smell goo YAAAHH! MY TIE'S ON FIRE!! Would you like another drink, my dear? No, Jon, if I'm in the mood for another Shirley Temple, I'll suck it out of your tie.
I don't believe I just flushed one of my contact lenses down the toilet! Somehow I do. And th eonly glasses I brought are my sunglasses. That's okay, Jon. They'll make you look continental. Kinda like a french dweeb.
I read the most fascinating article the other day... Good, Jon! Appeal to her intellect! Did you know there are microscopic crawly things living in your eyebrows? I have to go home now. Take me with you.
Your hair is like a field of golden wheat in the sun...your eyes are like limpid pools of blue... Your nose is like an ice pick stuck in a barn door. Rats. Should've skipped the nose and moved right to the lips.
Could it be that I've built my expectations too high for what's actually in my gift? Should I never open it in order to preserve the hope and magic that is the true gift of the Christmas season? NAAAAH!
Sigh Christmas is over, and new year's is almost here. Sigh. So it seems appropriate at this time to stop and reflect... To reflect on those three words which represent the true meaning and spirit of the holiday season... BOOGIE!BOOGIE! BOOGIE!