I wish I had a little piece of land... - Abot a mile long, and an inch wide. - Yessir, my very own spaghetti farm.
1 November 1991
- - Thought I heard a doughnut.
2 November 1991
- RING*** - * RRING! * - Meow? - Meow meow meow - Here, it's for you. - Meow?
3 November 1991
- Which way did the mouse go? He went that way! - Just curious.
4 November 1991
Guests are a pain. - First they defile my water dish... - Then they want a tow.
5 November 1991
- Never fear, Jon, no mouse will ever get your cheese while I'm around! - No siree. Sigh
6 November 1991
- - You would be more convincing if you were moving. He's onto us.
7 November 1991
Watch out for the mouse. Riiiight. - - You know, Jon, Brazil must be lovely this time of year.
8 November 1991
- - I see the "strange mice" are back.
9 November 1991
- You lunch looks better than mine. - - - I want to sit there! - Your end of the couch looks more comfortable than mine. - Oh, sure, hog the floor!
10 November 1991
Boy, do I need a shave. - BZZZZZZZ Wait a minute! - Whaaa?I forgot I was a cat, okay?
11 November 1991
- Enjoying the fire, Garfield? Yup. - Kind of makes me wish we had a fireplace there.
12 November 1991
- - ?
13 November 1991
Z - I thought you were cutting down on your naps! I am! - I'm taking two four-hour naps instead of four two-hour naps.
14 November 1991
Ah, the industrious ant...always working. - SPLAT! - Take a break.
15 November 1991
Today on "Animal Kingdom," we go in search of... - The house cat. - Heeere kitty, kitty, kitty... There's nothing worse than a low-budget animal show.
16 November 1991
Ahem... Z - This is a dog. Z - And this is a dog whistle. Z - Observe. Z - fffff - It emits a sound discernible only to lower life forms. - Now this...is a dog trumpet. poing!
17 November 1991
Garfield, why aren't women attracted to me? - HEY! THAT'S MY BINKY THE CLOWN CUP! SNATCH! - MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE! I think I've isolated your problem.
18 November 1991
I remember my first kiss. - Edna Radsnick...we were on her front porch. The moon was full...the moment had arrived...we embraced... - Our braced locked...she screamed... That's more like it.
19 November 1991
Cindy, this is Jon, your blind date for tonight. Anything special you'd like to know about me? - Uh, six feet, brown...one hundred seventy.five pounds. Red...decaffeinated...chocolate chip...unleaded... - My dental records? Whatever happened
20 November 1991
* - I have a date. - With the bearded lady, or the alligator girl?
21 November 1991
I read the most fascinating article the other day... Good, Jon! Appeal to her intellect! - Did you know there are microscopic crawly things living in your eyebrows? - I have to go home now. Take me with you.
22 November 1991
Your hair is like a field of golden wheat in the sun...your eyes are like limpid pools of blue... - Your nose is like an ice pick stuck in a barn door. - Rats. - Should've skipped the nose and moved right to the lips.
23 November 1991
tap tap tap - Overture whirrrrr - First movement scoop scoop - Second movement SPLOT - And now, the grand finale! - GULP! - ENCORE! ENCORE!
24 November 1991
You've heard of the "Fountain of Youth"? - SIP - Meet the next best thing!
25 November 1991
And now the continuing saga of Jon's diary. - Monday: "Dear Diary, The dawn of a new week. The possibilities are limitless." - Tuesday: "Dear Diary, Today I got my lips stuck in the blender."
26 November 1991
Why was I created, Garfield? - What is my purpose in life? - SPLOT! To give other shope?
27 November 1991
Welcome to "Lying around with Garfield". - Today's topic, the joy of ceiling watching. - You are worthless. Now, let's stare at a light fixture.
28 November 1991
Garfield, we're going to the park. Whoopee - You know the rules. No flower stomping... - And... Yeah, yeah, no swan maiming.
29 November 1991
I'm depressed, Garfield. I need something to lift my spirits. - BOOT! - GARFIELD! HEY! IT ALWAYS WORKS FOR ME!!
30 November 1991