Ahem. I am honored to address this assembly of the United Nations. And the millions watching by television. I am Jon arbuckle, and I can't get a date to save my life.I also forgot to wear pants. YAAAHHH! Garfield, I just had a terrible nightmare! Not the1 December 1991 |
 You're a wild man, Garfield! New blanket.2 December 1991 |
 Everybody has a hobby. Some race cars, some collect art... And others, make toast. BWONNG! YEE-HA!3 December 1991 |
 You know, Garfield, the brain is a muscle. Give me a break. Know how I keep my mind sharp? A wood rasp? Connect the dots! You're a real intellectual.4 December 1991 |
 Sometimes I feel like a laughingstock, Garfield. Look! There he is! HAW! HAW! HAW! I'll be in my room. Big crowd today.5 December 1991 |
 Notice anything new, Garfield? Give me a hint. Don't you think this pipe makes me look more sophisticated? Sadly enough, I have to agree.6 December 1991 |
 Jon is deep in thought. I wonder how they get those peanuts inside the shells? Relatively speaking.7 December 1991 |
 YAWN ZOOM! YANK! THUD!!! CRAAAAASSH! tinklw tinkle tinkle WHUMP! WHUMP! drag drag drag drag drag Look! A snowflake! Christmas is coming!! I see it, I see it.8 December 1991 |
 NYAAH! NYAAH! AH HA! YOU *DID* EAT MY CANDY CANE!! Rats.9 December 1991 |
 These are not your presents. What makes you think I care?10 December 1991 |
 * KISS Garfield, Santa brings toys to the little boys and girls who've been good all YEAR, not just the last two weeks. THAT'S EXTORTION! I tell it like it is, baby cakes.11 December 1991 |
 Hey, Garfield! Now THERE'S a Christmas tree! Just look at the trunk of this baby! That's a telephone pole. Tis the season to be dippy.12 December 1991 |
 I did it! I fainally got a great looking tree! And I got it half off! What do you think? I think it's priced right.13 December 1991 |
 Okay, let's decorate the tree, Garfiedl. THEY'RE ALIVE! THE DECORATIONS ARE ALIVE! SLURO! Ha ha, Odie.14 December 1991 |
 Okay, boys! Let's corate the treeeee! I'm hungry. Let's eeeeat. Each icicle must be carefully placed. I subscribe to the school of "throw and go". Odie, don't chew on that cord! Yeah, Odie, save room for the bubble lights. We can'thave a blue b15 December 1991 |
 This is a mistletoe, Garfield. Watch, and I'll show you how it works. * DING DONG SMOOCH You make a lovely couple.16 December 1991 |
 Garfield will never find his present in this closet. Thank you. Waaaait a minute... CLICK!17 December 1991 |
 There's a present under the tree. I wonder who it's for? Garfield OHHHHH YEEEESSS!18 December 1991 |
 Could my present be a pony? Or, could it be my own TV? Or a new bed? Or a blanket? Or a cheese grater? Or silk pajamas?...19 December 1991 |
 thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump Garfield! What are you doing to your gift? Just seeing if it's ripe.20 December 1991 |
 I wonder what my present is? I'll bet it's wonderful! rattle rattle rattle YES! THA tIS DEFINITELY A WONDERFUL SOUND!!21 December 1991 |
 Time to decorate the house, Garfield! Put the ladder there, pal. Yessiree, we'll just get the old lights out, and... -22 December 1991 |
 How cute. Garfield fell asleep hugging his present. I'll put him to bed. Z Z Z23 December 1991 |
 Are you boys going to bed, oar are you going to wait up half the night on Santa? -24 December 1991 |
 Could it be that I've built my expectations too high for what's actually in my gift? Should I never open it in order to preserve the hope and magic that is the true gift of the Christmas season? NAAAAH!25 December 1991 |
 How do you like your Christmas gift, Garfield? It's perfect! It's beautiful! It's me!26 December 1991 |
 I called to thank you for the Christmas gift, mom. You really outdid yourself this time. I didn't know you could crochet a suit. Someone should stop her.27 December 1991 |
 Guess what, mom... I think Garfield actually likes the sweater you made him. The shoulder pads won me over.28 December 1991 |
 Sigh Christmas is over, and new year's is almost here. Sigh. So it seems appropriate at this time to stop and reflect... To reflect on those three words which represent the true meaning and spirit of the holiday season... BOOGIE!BOOGIE! BOOGIE!29 December 1991 |
 My foot's asleep. And I'm jealous!30 December 1991 |
 ABANDON SHIP!!! THUD! Oops. Tide's out.31 December 1991 |
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