The New Improved Garfield NOW WITH * Sharper Claws! * Bigger Appetite! * Larger Ego! Lemon-Fresh Scent!! Sigh Sigh...everybody has a trophy but me. YAAAAAAHHH! BOOF! WHOMP! THUD! CRAAASH! May I have a word with you, Garfield?
I'll have the spaghetti, Irma. Do you want that on a plate? Of course I do! WELL EXCUSE ME, MISTER PICKY! IS IT TOO MUCH TO BE ACCORDED THE SAME AMENITIES OTHERS GET?! I'M A PERSON TOO, YOU KNOW!! I'll just have a small slice of life,thank you.
beep beep boop gurgle urgle urgle Okay, Garfield, I figured it out, you may go off your diet. REALLY? YAAAH-HOO... YES!! YES!! YES!! YES!! WHOOPEE!! WHOOPEE!!! ALL RIGHT!!! ALL RIGHT!!! It would be a good idea to exercise though.What?! Are you crazy?
RAH Hi, Garfield. Yo. Whew. Oh, no! He's been waiting for this moment. Look at him...like a snake ready to strike. What's he waiting for? Why doesn't he just say it and get it over with?!! Hot enough to fry a cat on a sidewalk.AARRRGH!
I'm going to open my fortune cookie now, Garfield. Go for it, big guy. Ah, what good news awaits? crik BURP "A runaway hubcap from a speeding car will lodge itself up your nose". Promise you'll wake me.
Wait till you meet Drizella Skagway. She was alittle skinny but she had a crush on me in high school! Hey, Wheezer, have you seen Drizella? Yeah. She's over there. Where?! Right there. You hung your coat on her.
Hey, Crapface, sure is a great class reunion, huh? Sure is, Wheezer. Remember the time I threw your pants into the girl's locker room? Yeah, you were young and crazy then. NOW YOU'RE JUST CRAZY! I love nostalgia.
click ? click click click Ha! The batteries in the remote control must be dead! Is it possible you just might have to walk across the entire room to change the channel?! Heave forbid! So what are yougoing to do now, huh?! I had toask.
BWEEP! BWEEP! BWEEP! Captain, our sensors have picked up something! Go to visual! Woah! What is that thing?! It appears to be a hideous blob of fat, sir! FIRE PHASERS! Phasers have no effect, sir! I hate you. Sir, I'm picking up
Garfield, do you know there's a mouse in the garbage? I think so... ** Oh, there's a mouse in the garbage, and I don't caaare... * I'm glad I couldn't hear that. Do you know "There's a yak in the pantry"?
CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP Bark bark arf arf arf. Woof woof bark ark ark ark Bark-bark BOW-WOW-WOW! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA TAPPITY TAPPITY TAPPITY SPLUT! SPLUT! SPLUT! I gotta find a new opening act. BOO! BOOO! BOO! BOO!
HOOOOOOOOOOOOoooo What's that sound?! What sound? That eerie, low lament of some lifeless demon bent on entering our house and dragging us into the dark night. ARROOOOOOOO Now what's THAT sound? Oh, shut up.
You know, Garfield, a macho man has a trophy wall of wild game. That's not an animal. I bagged this Aussie Jackrabbit at 200 yards in the outback. That's your old bunny slipper. At no small risk to life and limb. "In loving memory ofLefty".
Z Z Ahem YAHHH! Good morning, Jon! Guess what? It's the Christmas season! And I'm gonna be nice to you... So that Santa will bring yours truly lots of stuff! Here's breakfast in...oops! Uh, let's keep this our little secret, okay?
Santa shouldn't have any trouble at our house tomorrow night! I'll turn on the Christmas lights so he can see our roof...I'll leave out milk and cookies in case he's hungry...and...oh, yeah. I'll grease the chimney.