KILL CAT!! KILL CAT!! Do you have an appointment? - Uh, no. Sorry. - Darn. If I let you kill me without an appointment, I have to let everybody kill me without an appointment.
1 February 1992
- Odie! Time for dinner! - BARK! BARK! BARK! - CHOMP! SLURP! GULP! SLURP! - BURP! pant! pant! pant! pant! - - -
2 February 1992
This is the All Pet Network. - And now it's time for every cat's favorite show... - "HARASS THE DOG!" Finally...quality television.
3 February 1992
Don'T change the channel. - We know where you live... - The rating wars escalate.
4 February 1992
Just when you think they have televised every sport... - YOW! - There's blindfolded darts.
5 February 1992
Well, Garfield, we can get a good night's sleep... - Or we can stay up and watch "Revenge of the Killer Worms". - "Bait store owner learns not to tease the inventory". I'll make the popcorn.
6 February 1992
Hmmph, another movie about the heroic feats of a kind-hearted, lovable dog. - Why is it you never see anything like that about kind-hearted, lovable cats? - Move or die, bean brain.
7 February 1992
Only an idiot would watch a show this bad. - CLICK! - It was a rerun anyway.
8 February 1992
Ah! Dinner! - FWOING - Watch this move. - SHOONK - plop! SCHLUP! - GULP! * DING - I call it the "cash register".
9 February 1992
YAAAAAAAWWN - BURRRRRRRP... scratch scratch scratch - HAAAACK koff koff koff Cats say the cutest things.
10 February 1992
Hmmm...one scoop or two? - SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP - I'll leave ONE scoop.
11 February 1992
This calls for a mop. - - SCHLOP
12 February 1992
It says here, "People with pets live longer". - - Maybe it just seems longer.
13 February 1992
Dogs can do tricks. Why can't cats? - Says who? - Pick a card.
14 February 1992
- trip Oops. - munch munch Clumsy me.
15 February 1992
- - SHOONK! - Garfwiel! My lips are thtuck! Do thumthing! - Hmmmm - * - biddity biddity biddity biddity
16 February 1992
This, students, is the domesticated house cat. Z - Descendant of the mighty lion... Z - Now degenerated into this. Sad. I have a sudden urge to wake up and kill something.
17 February 1992
I want you to "get" that mouse, Garfield. - I think you know what I mean. Yes, I do. - Hey, mouse! Your mother dresses you funny!
18 February 1992
Here, Garfield, lure the mouse with this cheese. - - It doesn't seem to be working.
19 February 1992
What's this in my water bowl? - It appears to be an inner tube. - Is the pool closed? I'll never drink water again.
20 February 1992
A mouse, Garfield! Get it!! - - The mighty hunter. I think I strained my shoulder. Do we have any Liniment?
21 February 1992
It's been nice chatting with you, but now it's time for my lunch. - - Or maybe not.
22 February 1992
Is this my good side? - split! - splat! splot! - - - - Gee, that was fun, boys, but I gotta get ready for my date at seven. - Or was that six?
23 February 1992
Jon should be making my breakfast. Z - But it's hard for him to wake up. Z - Which is why god made the water balloons. Z
24 February 1992
SWAT! - I've invented the dogswatter! - With the help of my local assistant here.
25 February 1992
- - I wonder if other people's pets have wild mood swings? grrrr grrrr
26 February 1992
People say dogs are better at tricks than are cats. - - AS IF THAT WERE SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF!!!
27 February 1992
Keep away from my food, Garfield! - Go on! Farther! - That's better.
28 February 1992
Here, Odie! Catch the ball. - Good boy! - munch munch munch
29 February 1992