KILL CAT!! KILL CAT!! Do you have an appointment? Uh, no. Sorry. Darn. If I let you kill me without an appointment, I have to let everybody kill me without an appointment.
1 February 1992
Odie! Time for dinner! BARK! BARK! BARK! CHOMP! SLURP! GULP! SLURP! BURP! pant! pant! pant! pant! -
2 February 1992
This is the All Pet Network. And now it's time for every cat's favorite show... "HARASS THE DOG!" Finally...quality television.
3 February 1992
Don'T change the channel. We know where you live... The rating wars escalate.
4 February 1992
Just when you think they have televised every sport... YOW! There's blindfolded darts.
5 February 1992
Well, Garfield, we can get a good night's sleep... Or we can stay up and watch "Revenge of the Killer Worms". "Bait store owner learns not to tease the inventory". I'll make the popcorn.
6 February 1992
Hmmph, another movie about the heroic feats of a kind-hearted, lovable dog. Why is it you never see anything like that about kind-hearted, lovable cats? Move or die, bean brain.
7 February 1992
Only an idiot would watch a show this bad. CLICK! It was a rerun anyway.
8 February 1992
Ah! Dinner! FWOING Watch this move. SHOONK plop! SCHLUP! GULP! * DING I call it the "cash register".
9 February 1992
YAAAAAAAWWN BURRRRRRRP... scratch scratch scratch HAAAACK koff koff koff Cats say the cutest things.
10 February 1992
Hmmm...one scoop or two? SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP I'll leave ONE scoop.
11 February 1992
This calls for a mop. SCHLOP
12 February 1992
It says here, "People with pets live longer". Maybe it just seems longer.
13 February 1992
Dogs can do tricks. Why can't cats? Says who? Pick a card.
14 February 1992
trip Oops. munch munch Clumsy me.
15 February 1992
SHOONK! Garfwiel! My lips are thtuck! Do thumthing! Hmmmm * biddity biddity biddity biddity
16 February 1992
This, students, is the domesticated house cat. Z Descendant of the mighty lion... Z Now degenerated into this. Sad. I have a sudden urge to wake up and kill something.
17 February 1992
I want you to "get" that mouse, Garfield. I think you know what I mean. Yes, I do. Hey, mouse! Your mother dresses you funny!
18 February 1992
Here, Garfield, lure the mouse with this cheese. It doesn't seem to be working.
19 February 1992
What's this in my water bowl? It appears to be an inner tube. Is the pool closed? I'll never drink water again.
20 February 1992
A mouse, Garfield! Get it!! The mighty hunter. I think I strained my shoulder. Do we have any Liniment?
21 February 1992
It's been nice chatting with you, but now it's time for my lunch. Or maybe not.
22 February 1992
Is this my good side? split! splat! splot! Gee, that was fun, boys, but I gotta get ready for my date at seven. Or was that six?
23 February 1992
Jon should be making my breakfast. Z But it's hard for him to wake up. Z Which is why god made the water balloons. Z
24 February 1992
SWAT! I've invented the dogswatter! With the help of my local assistant here.
25 February 1992
I wonder if other people's pets have wild mood swings? grrrr grrrr
26 February 1992
People say dogs are better at tricks than are cats. AS IF THAT WERE SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF!!!
27 February 1992
Keep away from my food, Garfield! Go on! Farther! That's better.
28 February 1992
Here, Odie! Catch the ball. Good boy! munch munch munch
29 February 1992