The New Improved Garfield NOW WITH * Sharper Claws! * Bigger Appetite! * Larger Ego! - Lemon-Fresh Scent!! - Sigh - - - Sigh...everybody has a trophy but me. - - YAAAAAAHHH! BOOF! WHOMP! THUD! CRAAASH! - May I have a word with you, Garfield?
1 March 1992
I have a surprise for you, Garfield. Here's a hint. - MOO! MOOOOO!! OINK OINK buck-buck buck-AAW! - We're going to the farm! I thought you got a date.
2 March 1992
C'mon, Garfield, we still have to load the car! - Hurry up, will you?! Get real. - The only thing I do fast is go to sleep.
3 March 1992
- - Next trip you're riding in the trunk.
4 March 1992
It's a beautiful day in the country, Garfield. I'm dying. - Sun shining, birds singing... It won't be long now. - Isn't life grand? I should never have eaten that frog.
5 March 1992
Here are some sandwiches for your trip home. Thanks, mom. - And a sweater. Uh, thanks. - And a spare tire. MOM! She made it herself.
6 March 1992
Push-ups are good for you, Garfield! - Riiiight. - Who is he kidding?
7 March 1992
tie tie tie Z - twang twang Z - Z - BWOING kiss Z - WHOOSH! ? - BWOING YAAAHH! - WHOOSH! GARFIELD! WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING?!! - Why, being your bungee buddy, you silly neener head.
8 March 1992
Ah, 'tis sleeping beauty! Z - SMACK! - tooey! tooey! tooey! And they lived happily ever after.
9 March 1992
Wow! That's some Sundae, Garfield! - But, I thought we were out of ice cream. - We are. There's a steak under there.
10 March 1992
Self-control is a noble quality. - BOOT! - It's also quite elusive.
11 March 1992
Garfield, don't you think you're a little too self-centered? - Me? Self-centered? - Get real.
12 March 1992
- CRASH! - Aim a little off today, Garfield? This takes like linoleum!
13 March 1992
Eating right is easy. - Each day I eat from the four basic food groups. - Breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks.
14 March 1992
I am starving. - I wish I had a pizza. - WHUMP! - My wish has been granted! - Gee, what should I wish for next? - Some after dinner music would be nice. -
15 March 1992
We're a bit slow today, hon. - Our cook went home sick. Flu? - Anthrax. This is where I run screaming into the street.
16 March 1992
Irma, do you give free refills on coffee? - Interesting question. - No one's ever asked for a second cup. Antidote, please.
17 March 1992
What's good today, Irma? - - What's edible today, Irma? Try the meat loaf.
18 March 1992
Uh, Irma, I don't mean to complain... - But, there's a hoof in my meat loaf. - OH, NO! THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE! - Uh, Irma, I don't mean to complain...
19 March 1992
I'll have the spaghetti, Irma. - Do you want that on a plate? Of course I do! - WELL EXCUSE ME, MISTER PICKY! IS IT TOO MUCH TO BE ACCORDED THE SAME AMENITIES OTHERS GET?! I'M A PERSON TOO, YOU KNOW!! I'll just have a small slice of life,
20 March 1992
CHOMP CHOMP GOBBLE GULP - * BING! - Breakfast is over. Now lunch begins.
21 March 1992
- - - - pant pant pant - pant pant pant - pant pant pant Thank you, mister sauna mouth.
22 March 1992
Believe it or not, Garfield, the world does NOT revolve around you! - - Although you are big enough for it to! One shot at a time, please.
23 March 1992
Anything I can do, your majesty? Peel me agrape. - Pluck me achicken? I was being sarcastic. Barbecue me a heifer!
24 March 1992
Burp. - Garfield, where's my goldfish?! Uh, we did lunch. - There's nothing in the bowl! Just like him to skip out on the check.
25 March 1992
What happened here, Garfield?! - You wouldn't understand. - YOU'VE DESTROYED THE HOUSE! You figured it out!
26 March 1992
People have different ways of handling depression. - Some cry, some mope around. - CRASH! Some tie shoelaces together.
27 March 1992
I'm not tying Jon't shoelaced together anymore. - It's too dull. - Mister Funny MAn! I'm forginf new frontiers.
28 March 1992
- - - - -
29 March 1992
Look at those people going to work. - There's a word for such noble, hard-working folks... - "Peasants".
30 March 1992
The night stalker closes in on his prey. - SNAP - And spends the rest of the evening with his lips in a mousetrap.
31 March 1992