The New Improved Garfield NOW WITH * Sharper Claws! * Bigger Appetite! * Larger Ego! Lemon-Fresh Scent!! Sigh Sigh...everybody has a trophy but me. YAAAAAAHHH! BOOF! WHOMP! THUD! CRAAASH! May I have a word with you, Garfield?
1 March 1992
I have a surprise for you, Garfield. Here's a hint. MOO! MOOOOO!! OINK OINK buck-buck buck-AAW! We're going to the farm! I thought you got a date.
2 March 1992
C'mon, Garfield, we still have to load the car! Hurry up, will you?! Get real. The only thing I do fast is go to sleep.
3 March 1992
Next trip you're riding in the trunk.
4 March 1992
It's a beautiful day in the country, Garfield. I'm dying. Sun shining, birds singing... It won't be long now. Isn't life grand? I should never have eaten that frog.
5 March 1992
Here are some sandwiches for your trip home. Thanks, mom. And a sweater. Uh, thanks. And a spare tire. MOM! She made it herself.
6 March 1992
Push-ups are good for you, Garfield! Riiiight. Who is he kidding?
7 March 1992
tie tie tie Z twang twang Z Z BWOING kiss Z WHOOSH! ? BWOING YAAAHH! WHOOSH! GARFIELD! WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING?!! Why, being your bungee buddy, you silly neener head.
8 March 1992
Ah, 'tis sleeping beauty! Z SMACK! tooey! tooey! tooey! And they lived happily ever after.
9 March 1992
Wow! That's some Sundae, Garfield! But, I thought we were out of ice cream. We are. There's a steak under there.
10 March 1992
Self-control is a noble quality. BOOT! It's also quite elusive.
11 March 1992
Garfield, don't you think you're a little too self-centered? Me? Self-centered? Get real.
12 March 1992
CRASH! Aim a little off today, Garfield? This takes like linoleum!
13 March 1992
Eating right is easy. Each day I eat from the four basic food groups. Breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks.
14 March 1992
I am starving. I wish I had a pizza. WHUMP! My wish has been granted! Gee, what should I wish for next? Some after dinner music would be nice. -
15 March 1992
We're a bit slow today, hon. Our cook went home sick. Flu? Anthrax. This is where I run screaming into the street.
16 March 1992
Irma, do you give free refills on coffee? Interesting question. No one's ever asked for a second cup. Antidote, please.
17 March 1992
What's good today, Irma? What's edible today, Irma? Try the meat loaf.
18 March 1992
Uh, Irma, I don't mean to complain... But, there's a hoof in my meat loaf. OH, NO! THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE! Uh, Irma, I don't mean to complain...
19 March 1992
I'll have the spaghetti, Irma. Do you want that on a plate? Of course I do! WELL EXCUSE ME, MISTER PICKY! IS IT TOO MUCH TO BE ACCORDED THE SAME AMENITIES OTHERS GET?! I'M A PERSON TOO, YOU KNOW!! I'll just have a small slice of life,thank you.
20 March 1992
CHOMP CHOMP GOBBLE GULP * BING! Breakfast is over. Now lunch begins.
21 March 1992
pant pant pant pant pant pant pant pant pant Thank you, mister sauna mouth.
22 March 1992
Believe it or not, Garfield, the world does NOT revolve around you! Although you are big enough for it to! One shot at a time, please.
23 March 1992
Anything I can do, your majesty? Peel me agrape. Pluck me achicken? I was being sarcastic. Barbecue me a heifer!
24 March 1992
Burp. Garfield, where's my goldfish?! Uh, we did lunch. There's nothing in the bowl! Just like him to skip out on the check.
25 March 1992
What happened here, Garfield?! You wouldn't understand. YOU'VE DESTROYED THE HOUSE! You figured it out!
26 March 1992
People have different ways of handling depression. Some cry, some mope around. CRASH! Some tie shoelaces together.
27 March 1992
I'm not tying Jon't shoelaced together anymore. It's too dull. Mister Funny MAn! I'm forginf new frontiers.
28 March 1992
29 March 1992
Look at those people going to work. There's a word for such noble, hard-working folks... "Peasants".
30 March 1992
The night stalker closes in on his prey. SNAP And spends the rest of the evening with his lips in a mousetrap.
31 March 1992