Ah! It must be fulfilling to have a warm, loving cat on your lap. I've lost the feeling in my legs. You're welcome.
1 July 1992
Did you know cats can talk? We just don't choose to. Garfield, I'm home! Who cares?! If we did, NOBODY would like us.
2 July 1992
It says in this cat book that cats are sleek, svelte animals. What happened to you? I can't read! Okay?!
3 July 1992
Garfield, how come you rarely meow? That's silly talk. Other cats meow. They have no dignity. C'mon, meow for me. First you goo-goo for me.
4 July 1992
TWANG brush brush brush brush TWANG brush brush brush brush brush brush brush brush brush brush brush TWANG
5 July 1992
I've made a list of 15 things about Jon that annoy me. I've made a list of *16* things about Jon that annoy me.
6 July 1992
Jump, Garfield, jump! C'mon, jump! I just did.
7 July 1992
Yes, I glued Jon's finger up his nose. Z Yes, it's disgusting. Yes, I'll regret it. Z YAAAH! But, for now, let's enjoy the moment.
8 July 1992
I remember the day I picked you up, Garfield. It was a tough decision. Really? It was between you and the iguana. I could have lived the res of my life without knowing that, Jon.
9 July 1992
click How do you like this suit, Garfield? click
10 July 1992
I interrupt your meaningless life for this important announcement. My dinnertime is in 20 minutes. Don't be late. I now return you to your regularly scheduled doldrums.
11 July 1992
12 July 1992
Remember, you stupid talking scale, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. I can't win.
13 July 1992
I wonder how I'd look without this stomach. -
14 July 1992
Give me some good news for a change. Congratulations! You just gave birth to another chin!
15 July 1992
Garfield, your stomach is disgusting! You can't even see your feet! Oh, yes I can. There they are!
16 July 1992
You've gained weight, but, hey, who hasn't? These new talking scales with the sympathy chips are great!
17 July 1992
The batteries are low. Looks like we'll have to weigh you another day. Whew! A reprieve! Whew! A reprieve!
18 July 1992
DINNER! FLOMP! Hup! EEERRRRGH It's diet time. Are you speaking to me?
19 July 1992
Z I know! I know! Diet time
20 July 1992
You know, Garfield, dieting is psychological. I have something to help you. Why is it I have a sudden craving for corn?
21 July 1992
You may have a salad. Pork chops aren't considered a salad! I have much to learn.
22 July 1992
COOKIE CRUMB! BANZAI! COME TO PAPA! Diet getting to you, Garfield?
23 July 1992
I'm proud to report I've gained only one pound! With Garfield, the goal of a diet isn't losing weight, it's slowing down the gain.
24 July 1992
Here's a diet quiz, Garfield. Would you turn in your best friend for a jelly doughnut? I'd visit you on weekends. I think I know the answer to that one.
25 July 1992
beep beep boop gurgle urgle urgle Okay, Garfield, I figured it out, you may go off your diet. REALLY? YAAAH-HOO... YES!! YES!! YES!! YES!! WHOOPEE!! WHOOPEE!!! ALL RIGHT!!! ALL RIGHT!!! It would be a good idea to exercise though.What?! Are you crazy?
26 July 1992
GET UP! GET UP! GET UP! You have a problem, Garfield. Well, wake up, sleepyhead!
27 July 1992
Ah, nature! Needs vacuuming.
28 July 1992
You should exercise more. More than that?
29 July 1992
We're out of cookies! And I think that last one was a coaster.
30 July 1992
Giant scorpions! The wolfman is headed this way! King Kong has a head cold and wants to borrow your handkerchief! I'm not moving till I finish this sandwich.
31 July 1992