Ah! - It must be fulfilling to have a warm, loving cat on your lap. - I've lost the feeling in my legs. You're welcome.
1 July 1992
Did you know cats can talk? We just don't choose to. - Garfield, I'm home! Who cares?! - If we did, NOBODY would like us.
2 July 1992
It says in this cat book that cats are sleek, svelte animals. - - What happened to you? I can't read! Okay?!
3 July 1992
Garfield, how come you rarely meow? That's silly talk. - Other cats meow. They have no dignity. - C'mon, meow for me. First you goo-goo for me.
4 July 1992
- TWANG - - brush brush brush brush - TWANG - brush brush brush brush brush brush brush brush brush brush brush - - TWANG
5 July 1992
I've made a list of 15 things about Jon that annoy me. - - I've made a list of *16* things about Jon that annoy me.
6 July 1992
Jump, Garfield, jump! - - C'mon, jump! I just did.
7 July 1992
Yes, I glued Jon's finger up his nose. Z - Yes, it's disgusting. Yes, I'll regret it. Z - YAAAH! But, for now, let's enjoy the moment.
8 July 1992
I remember the day I picked you up, Garfield. - It was a tough decision. Really? - It was between you and the iguana. I could have lived the res of my life without knowing that, Jon.
9 July 1992
click - How do you like this suit, Garfield? - click
10 July 1992
I interrupt your meaningless life for this important announcement. - My dinnertime is in 20 minutes. Don't be late. - I now return you to your regularly scheduled doldrums.
11 July 1992
- Great! That's all of it! Let's go! Z - I'd explain this, but it gets kind of technical. - Z - YAAAHH!! OKAY! OKAY! I'M UP!!!
12 July 1992
Remember, you stupid talking scale, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. - - I can't win.
13 July 1992
I wonder how I'd look without this stomach. - -
14 July 1992
Give me some good news for a change. - Congratulations! - You just gave birth to another chin!
15 July 1992
Garfield, your stomach is disgusting! - You can't even see your feet! Oh, yes I can. - There they are!
16 July 1992
- You've gained weight, but, hey, who hasn't? - These new talking scales with the sympathy chips are great!
17 July 1992
The batteries are low. Looks like we'll have to weigh you another day. - Whew! A reprieve! - Whew! A reprieve!
18 July 1992
- DINNER! - FLOMP! - Hup! - EEERRRRGH - - It's diet time. Are you speaking to me?
19 July 1992
Z - - I know! I know! Diet time
20 July 1992
You know, Garfield, dieting is psychological. - I have something to help you. - Why is it I have a sudden craving for corn?
21 July 1992
You may have a salad. - - Pork chops aren't considered a salad! I have much to learn.
22 July 1992
COOKIE CRUMB! - BANZAI! - COME TO PAPA! - Diet getting to you, Garfield?
23 July 1992
I'm proud to report I've gained only one pound! - - With Garfield, the goal of a diet isn't losing weight, it's slowing down the gain.
24 July 1992
Here's a diet quiz, Garfield. - Would you turn in your best friend for a jelly doughnut? - I'd visit you on weekends. I think I know the answer to that one.
25 July 1992
What?! Are you crazy?
26 July 1992
- GET UP! GET UP! GET UP! - You have a problem, Garfield. - Well, wake up, sleepyhead!
27 July 1992
Ah, nature! - - Needs vacuuming.
28 July 1992
You should exercise more. - - More than that?
29 July 1992
- We're out of cookies! - And I think that last one was a coaster.
30 July 1992
Giant scorpions! - The wolfman is headed this way! - King Kong has a head cold and wants to borrow your handkerchief! I'm not moving till I finish this sandwich.
31 July 1992