I hate birds.
1 August 1992
RAH Hi, Garfield. Yo. Whew. Oh, no! He's been waiting for this moment. Look at him...like a snake ready to strike. What's he waiting for? Why doesn't he just say it and get it over with?!! Hot enough to fry a cat on a sidewalk.AARRRGH!
2 August 1992
So, doctor, are dogs more intelligent than cats? Well, dogs scored very high in testing. ...and cats? Well, they wouldn't take the test. We have nothing to prove.
3 August 1992
WHAP! Pretty good hang time on that kick.
4 August 1992
Garfield, that woman is winking at me! It's love at first sight! Dust in her contact lens. I ate your dessert.
5 August 1992
This should keep those mice out. They'll never steal my lunch now. Unless they charter a plane.
6 August 1992
I'm going to open my fortune cookie now, Garfield. Go for it, big guy. Ah, what good news awaits? crik BURP "A runaway hubcap from a speeding car will lodge itself up your nose". Promise you'll wake me.
7 August 1992
Well, Garfield, for dinner you ate all the food in the house. That's poor planning! No, it's not. What are you going to do in the morning, huh? I plan to sleep through breakfast.
8 August 1992
CRASH! click click click No matter how many times I see it, I'm still amazed.
9 August 1992
People who have simple pleasures should be admired. ** FUZZY BUNNY SLIPPERS!...CUTE BUNNY SLIPPERS!...COMFY BUNNY SLIPPERS! ** ...and then executed.
10 August 1992
Soup? Is this a hint? You're getting dangerously close to lunch time.
11 August 1992
You are watching the National Dog Channel. And now the headlines... Cats spread disease! I hate biased reporting.
12 August 1992
Watch it, cat! I have Fido with me today! Well, bring on this Fido * Heere, Fido! Mail's here.
13 August 1992
Well, it's friday night. OOOH! AAHHH! WOO! WOO! OOOOHH! THERe IT IS! Time for a rousing game of "find the ice cube".
14 August 1992
Here. All I can say is, I'm sorry. What is this?
15 August 1992
GARFIELD! DINNER! kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss HUGGG -
16 August 1992
Ladies and gentlemen...Mr. Excitement! I reckon it might rain...unless the sun comes out, of course. Go back to your homes! Mr. Excitement has spoken!
17 August 1992
Today on "Wildlife," my assistant, Bubba, will ford this river. AIEEE!! My, aren't those piranha busy little fellas! I never liked Bubba.
18 August 1992
Billy writes to ask Professor Astronomy, "how many stars are there in the universe?" Excellent question, Billy! Let's see...one...two...three...four... I hope this isn't one of those two-parters.
19 August 1992
Remember Cindy? The girl who said she couldn't go out with me tonight? I just saw her at the store. * Heey! She didn't have brain surgery after all! A dim bulb brightens.
20 August 1992
This tastes funny. If you add water, it makes its own gravy.
21 August 1992
I'm so dull, I'm almost invisible. Who said that?
22 August 1992
Garfield! Garfield! GARFIELD!! GARFIELD!! supper time. ZIP
23 August 1992
Jon! My favorite person!... In this room... ...at the moment. He's crazy about me.
24 August 1992
There's no place like home. We can only hope.
25 August 1992
My wallet! What would a cat want with a wallet? Genuie cowhide.
26 August 1992
Oh, Garfield. What happened to my chair? Well, first of all, I don't think "chair" is the correct descriptive term anymore.
27 August 1992
YOU'RE STANDING ON MY FOOT!! My, we're rather self-absorbed today, aren't we?
28 August 1992
I'm watching television with a cat. It's saturday night. I'm watching television with a cat! And reality rears its ugly head. I'M WATCHING TELEVISION WITH A CAT!!
29 August 1992
Z Z Rats! I woke up right before my alarm was set to go off! I hate it when that happens...I should just get up now. But I do still have a few min...u...t...e...s ... l...e...f...t... Z BRIIINNG!!
30 August 1992
Garfield, my high school is having a class reunion! Want to come along? There'll be a buffet. Oh. Okay.
31 August 1992