- - I hate birds.
1 August 1992
RAH - - Hi, Garfield. Yo. - Whew. Oh, no! - He's been waiting for this moment. - Look at him...like a snake ready to strike. - What's he waiting for? Why doesn't he just say it and get it over with?!! - Hot enough to fry a cat on a sidewalk.
2 August 1992
So, doctor, are dogs more intelligent than cats? - Well, dogs scored very high in testing. ...and cats? - Well, they wouldn't take the test. We have nothing to prove.
3 August 1992
- - WHAP! Pretty good hang time on that kick.
4 August 1992
Garfield, that woman is winking at me! - It's love at first sight! - Dust in her contact lens. I ate your dessert.
5 August 1992
This should keep those mice out. - They'll never steal my lunch now. - Unless they charter a plane.
6 August 1992
I'm going to open my fortune cookie now, Garfield. Go for it, big guy. - Ah, what good news awaits? crik BURP - "A runaway hubcap from a speeding car will lodge itself up your nose". Promise you'll wake me.
7 August 1992
Well, Garfield, for dinner you ate all the food in the house. - That's poor planning! No, it's not. - What are you going to do in the morning, huh? I plan to sleep through breakfast.
8 August 1992
- - - CRASH! - click click click - - No matter how many times I see it, I'm still amazed.
9 August 1992
People who have simple pleasures should be admired. - ** FUZZY BUNNY SLIPPERS!...CUTE BUNNY SLIPPERS!...COMFY BUNNY SLIPPERS! ** - ...and then executed.
10 August 1992
Soup? - - Is this a hint? You're getting dangerously close to lunch time.
11 August 1992
You are watching the National Dog Channel. - And now the headlines... - Cats spread disease! I hate biased reporting.
12 August 1992
Watch it, cat! I have Fido with me today! - Well, bring on this Fido * Heere, Fido! - Mail's here.
13 August 1992
Well, it's friday night. - OOOH! AAHHH! WOO! WOO! OOOOHH! - THERe IT IS! Time for a rousing game of "find the ice cube".
14 August 1992
Here. - All I can say is, I'm sorry. - What is this?
15 August 1992
GARFIELD! DINNER! - - kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss - HUGGG - - -
16 August 1992
Ladies and gentlemen...Mr. Excitement! - I reckon it might rain...unless the sun comes out, of course. - Go back to your homes! Mr. Excitement has spoken!
17 August 1992
Today on "Wildlife," my assistant, Bubba, will ford this river. - AIEEE!! - My, aren't those piranha busy little fellas! I never liked Bubba.
18 August 1992
Billy writes to ask Professor Astronomy, "how many stars are there in the universe?" - Excellent question, Billy! - Let's see...one...two...three...four... I hope this isn't one of those two-parters.
19 August 1992
Remember Cindy? The girl who said she couldn't go out with me tonight? I just saw her at the store. - * - Heey! She didn't have brain surgery after all! A dim bulb brightens.
20 August 1992
- - This tastes funny. If you add water, it makes its own gravy.
21 August 1992
I'm so dull, I'm almost invisible. - - Who said that?
22 August 1992
- Garfield! - Garfield! - GARFIELD!! - GARFIELD!! - - supper time. - ZIP
23 August 1992
Jon! My favorite person!... - In this room... - ...at the moment. He's crazy about me.
24 August 1992
There's no place like home. - - We can only hope.
25 August 1992
My wallet! - What would a cat want with a wallet? - Genuie cowhide.
26 August 1992
Oh, Garfield. - What happened to my chair? - Well, first of all, I don't think "chair" is the correct descriptive term anymore.
27 August 1992
- YOU'RE STANDING ON MY FOOT!! - My, we're rather self-absorbed today, aren't we?
28 August 1992
I'm watching television with a cat. - It's saturday night. I'm watching television with a cat! - And reality rears its ugly head. I'M WATCHING TELEVISION WITH A CAT!!
29 August 1992
Z - Z - Rats! I woke up right before my alarm was set to go off! - I hate it when that happens...I should just get up now. - But I do still have a few min...u...t...e...s ... l...e...f...t... - Z - BRIIINNG!!
30 August 1992
Garfield, my high school is having a class reunion! Want to come along? - - There'll be a buffet. Oh. Okay.
31 August 1992