SHRED SHRED SHRED SHRED SHRED SHRED You like my new chair? "New" is hardly the word.
1 October 1994
Z tick tick tick BRRIIIINNG RIIINNNG FLUSK RRRIIINNNnnnnnn nnblub nblub nblub nblub The toilet is ringing! What should I do? Take a message.
2 October 1994
Books are very important. I'm sitting on one to get a better view of the T.V.
3 October 1994
BOOT! Autumn is here and the dogs are falling!
4 October 1994
Garfield, I wonder if I've lived any former lives. I doubt it. You're not even living this one.
5 October 1994
Looks aren't everything, Garfield. There's also personality. Uh, there's always personal hygiene. You gonna floss your way into some babe's heart?
6 October 1994
I'm back! Of course, I haven't been anywhere, so I guess I'm NOT back. Where am I?
7 October 1994
Poor aunt Zelda. Overeating did her in. She was at the zoo. Tried to take food from a wolverine. Ouch.
8 October 1994
** DING-DONG! BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK * DING DONG! ** BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK Honey, it's the doorbell again!
9 October 1994
You don't look well, Garfield. Maybe it was something you ate. As if that would narrow it down. Smart guy.
10 October 1994
AH-CHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO! I think you may be coming down with something, Garfield. Gee, Dr. Salk, what tipped you off?
11 October 1994
Stupid code. Sniff HONK -
12 October 1994
AH...AHHH...AHHH..* Nothing! Don't you just hate it when... CHOO!
13 October 1994
How's your cold, Garfield? Great! HONNNK! sniff sniff I'm not so well. But the cold's doing great.
14 October 1994
Still have your cold, Garfeld? snif Yes. I wish it would go away. What's that old saying mom used to use?..."Feed a cold, starve a fever". In the UBBER hand...
15 October 1994
POISONOUS SPIDER! Get me a chair and a whip! Get me a ten-gallon drum of bug spray! It's a venom.spewing hairy-legged killer! Or a piece of lint.
16 October 1994
"Doughnuts are the perfect food, declares doctor". That's the fattest doctor I've ever seen. Not to mention the happiest.
17 October 1994
Garfield, I hope you don't take this the wrong way... But you're getting as fat as a pig. Fine, and I hope you don't take this the wrong way... And I hope you don't take THIS the wrong way!
18 October 1994
You have a lot to learn about goofing off.
19 October 1994
Nobody's home. I hate having to get on my own nerves.
20 October 1994
Why are you reading when you could be talking to me? ZIP So, read any good books lately?
21 October 1994
COUGH COUUUGH HACK HACK HAAACK HAAACK cough couch HARRRRF hock hock hocccch HACK COUGH You don't care for the outdoors, do you? How's a guy to breathe with all that fresh air out there?!
22 October 1994
click click click click click click Z Z Z Z YAWN YAH Good things come to those who wait.
23 October 1994
Why hello, Mr. Puppet! How are you, Mr. Puppet? Let me shake your... EEEYUCK! That's Mr. "Tongue" Puppet to you.
24 October 1994
skrik What do you do when they think up stuff that's not in the instruction manual?
25 October 1994
Hey, look! Odie and I have been making funny face. If you keep doing that your face will atay like that. NOW you tell us!
26 October 1994
Ha! Ha!I told you if you made a face, it would stick! GRINK THAT'S NOT FUNNY! Then why am I smiling?
27 October 1994
Who'd have ever believed if you made a face It'd stick that way? The mothers of the world. Wanna go out with me? EEEEEEEK Thought I might as well have some fun. You're sick.
28 October 1994
Maybe we can unfreeze our faces if we just relax. SIIIIGH That's better...sort of. My nose is in my coffee!
29 October 1994
Z Z Boo! Who are you? I'm the ghost of the goldfish you ate last summer. You're kidding. And I'm here to haunt you! Ooooo, I'm so, scared. Along with a few others you've eaten. This could be trouble.
30 October 1994
Greetings, ladies and gentlemen! Correction. Greetings, empty trash cans and a cardboard box!
31 October 1994