...and so the moose says, "that was no chicken, that was my wife!" - KONK! - Even the band hates my act.
1 November 1994
Greetings, ladies and germs! Welcome to... tappity tappity tappity - SPLOT! - The dinner show.
2 November 1994
Fellow cats, please welcome the amazing Zarconi Brothers! - MICE!!! - Tough crowd. BURP Encore!!
3 November 1994
Anyone here tonight from out of town? - BONK! - Hawaii! How nice!
4 November 1994
Hey, you've been a beautiful audience! clap clap clap clap - Just beautiful! Don't ever change, and I mean it! Love ya! Goodnight!... clap clap clap clap - Mom clap clap clap clap
5 November 1994
- Look, boys! Pigs! Let's all imitate a pig! Do we have to? - Oink Oink Oink Oink Oink - Very good. Ooo! Cows! Let's be a cow! - Moom Moooo Moooo - A POSSUM! THUMP! THUMP! - Very funny.
6 November 1994
I'm back from my world travels! - Weren't you just in the kitchen? - It's the world to ME.
7 November 1994
I love comedy! - Hitting someone with a pie isn't funny. Oh. - I love drama.
8 November 1994
- It's impossible not to be cheerful when Odie's around. - So I'll leave.
9 November 1994
WHIRRRRRRRRRR - Garfield! What are you doing? - Eliminating the middleman.
10 November 1994
Jon went shopping. - He read that women are attracted to men who wear hats. - Oh yeah?! Well there are chicks who go crazy for earflaps! A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.
11 November 1994
Yes! Exercise! - - Yes! Just lying here!
12 November 1994
- lap lap lap - ODIE! Do not drink my water! - GARFIELD! Keep your paws off my potatoes! - STOP LICKING MY PORK CHOP! - GOBBLE GOBBLE NARF NARF CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP! HA! What are you trying to do? Make us sick?
13 November 1994
You know what we could use around here? - Some hilarious high jinks. - Would that require getting up?
14 November 1994
I'm almost completely bored. - - My foot is having a good time.
15 November 1994
Do you ever get the feeling that you're missing out on a lot of things? Yes, I do. - - Is that bad?
16 November 1994
Sigh. - My standards are too low. - And don't think I don't appreciate that.
17 November 1994
Ah, friday night. SPLAT! SPLAT! - Looks like I win again, Garfield! Yee-ha. - Fun with sardines.
18 November 1994
- - Is it boring in here, or is it just you?
19 November 1994
- - wind wind wind - - -
20 November 1994
Howdy, pardner. - - A ten-gallon hat on a one-quart head.
21 November 1994
Howdy, Garfield! - I am a genuine cowbow! Yee-ha. - Let's hit the trail! Right after our sissy hangin'.
22 November 1994
I have the clothes...I have the guitar... - I'm Jon Arbuckle, singing cowboy! - ** I'm sittin' on my spurs, mama ** First we hang his guitar and make him watch.
23 November 1994
My new fish is very exotic. - When threatened, it expands to fifty times its size. - You don't say.
24 November 1994
Another goldfish eaten. - Think of the money I've spent on these things. Really. - You could have saved up and bought me a trout.
25 November 1994
You are way too fat. - Unless, of course, you're an elephant. - Whoa! Jon thinks I'm an elephant.
26 November 1994
- - - - - GULP! -
27 November 1994
Wow. The same thing is on every channel! click click - click click click click - The remote is broken. click click click click Get real! what are the chances of that?
28 November 1994
Coming up next: shows that are three seconds long... - For those who like to change channels... - But are too lazy to press the buttons! Finally!
29 November 1994
Today on "Cooking for Cats"...healthy salads! - We have our lettuce, our carrots, our tomatoes... - And now we add our squirrel. I like organic food.
30 November 1994